We all Have a Destiny with the Funeral Home - with Special Guest Jillian Watts

Jillian Watts rejoins Sam as a guest one year after her last appearance to offer her latest perspectives on the walk of life. 

Sam starts the podcast by asking Jill some familiar and not so familiar questions.

She updates us on her latest endeavors in business and in teaching.

Sam and Jillian discuss the topics of instant gratification, Maslow's  hierarchy of needs, commonalities of the human experience,  is technology a plus or a liability in communication, what moves Sam emotionally, and living life with intention.

For Jillian's female clothing line check out:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/evaisaco?fbclid=IwAR2453Qe51m2otqAb1YhvCLODFbV2Gc7W9waCefrLjXQY8XDEmEQWpxQfEw

To hire Jillian as a photographer:
https://www.jillianwattsphoto.com/

Transcript

We all Have a Destiny with the Funeral Home
Sun, Apr 16, 2023 3:34PM • 1:01:46
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, goggins, book, george lynch, question, life, person, jill, kids, read, cowboys, world, talking, left, podcast, album, thought, struggling, overwhelmed, washing
SPEAKERS
Jill Watts, Intro, Sam Fischer

Intro  00:01
Welcome, good cowboys, not a good home of the brief, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys, and let's keep the conversation alive on Facebook and Twitter. And now, cowboys, not eggheads with Sam Fisher.

Sam Fischer  00:32
Well, it's been one year. And one day since I talked with Jill and I guess that's a coincidence. But welcome back. We're gonna have our annual checkup with Jill and cowboys, not eggheads. How are you today?

Jill Watts  00:46
I'm doing great.

Sam Fischer  00:48
Good to be here. Uh huh. She's added some things to her resume since we've talked last and we'll get to that. But today, I thought I'd start the podcast out a little bit differently. I drove down to Lincoln to interview Jill today. And I this morning, I really I sort of had an idea where I wanted to think to go and I still really don't, but I did have some very random questions ever. Like if you ever, you know, you know, whenever you're driving, your your mind is just kind of all replays. And so what I did is every question that I had, and I had like five questions, the first 10 minutes and thinking about it. I just dictated a note to myself so that the beginning of this thing is gonna be weird. These are like really bizarre. They're not really bizarre. They're just different random, some not. Some are not random schematic. So we're just going to ask some, we'll get started with some. Okay, interesting questions. Let's do if you had we'll see if you did your homework and the season, but my, my question of the season, which I usually ask at the last is, what would you do if you had the superpower of being invisible?

Jill Watts  01:58
Oh, my gosh.

Sam Fischer  02:01
It's a pretty deep question.

Jill Watts  02:03
It is, and I'm like, such a doer that that if I like you in there, like pick a superpower, I would never pick that.

Sam Fischer  02:11
Yeah, so unusual.

Jill Watts  02:13
Okay, I was invisible. I would sound terrible. I'd probably like go mess with the politicians, and just like move stuff around their office and make their life hard. Just to like, mess with Yes, yeah. Politicians.

Sam Fischer  02:34
Well, what do you mean? Like you'd move there? Yes. Just

Jill Watts  02:37
like nothing like super malicious, but enough to like mess with them. Or you may have

Sam Fischer  02:44
Joker on politicians who has a superpower of being invisible? That's interesting. Yeah. It's a very interesting question.

Jill Watts  02:51
I don't want to cause harm, but I think like, you could maybe make them pause. I think just a lot of people go like through the motions of life. And so it would be kind of funny to just like, throw a wrench in what they were doing every day to maybe make them stop and

Sam Fischer  03:06
you could throw a wrench at them and they would know.

Jill Watts  03:09
Exactly, not a literal wrench. I figured.

Sam Fischer  03:13
Well, that's interesting. That's interesting seed. Questions. Another question of the year that I've asked sporadically is what in your purse or wallet that is non non monetarily related as value to you and why?

Jill Watts  03:31
So funny thing about me is I usually don't carry a purse. I hate carrying bags. So if I have anything with me, it's like the basic essentials. phone wallet keys. If you've heard the Adam Sandler song, it's quite funny. But I would say probably my air pods just because I'm always listening to a book or a podcast or lately I've been I don't know how you say that. It's like the byline by now are obese or something I don't know. But anyway, it's like these theta waves and then just like do little experiments supposed to lower your cortisol levels? So the my air pods

Sam Fischer  04:10
Okay, yeah, fair enough. Fair enough.

Jill Watts  04:14
Would you like to know mine? Yeah, of course.

Sam Fischer  04:16
I guess there's already no because already said it's my national carrier conceal law enforcement permit.

Jill Watts  04:21
Oh, well, that's like very official. I have nothing to match that. Yeah.

Sam Fischer  04:28
Cool. To answer just it is what it is. Everybody's different. Yeah. That is crazy. It's hilarious. What album besides a blue October all man what album besides October album would you have if you only had one album on a desert island? What would it deserted or desert island voc desert? I think I mean desert island by yourself. What album would you take with you? But it couldn't be a blue out October album, okay, like I'm assuming that's what your answer would have been?

Jill Watts  05:00
Yeah, I probably would have been lately or like, like at this snapshot, or my

Sam Fischer  05:06
okay today, sitting into an island. What album are you taking?

Jill Watts  05:09
You're gonna rumors by Fleetwood Mac.

Sam Fischer  05:11
Oh, wow.

Jill Watts  05:13
No, I was like, I get in a little like I get in little niches of what I listen to. Right now. Yeah.

Sam Fischer  05:20
Did you just discover Fleetwood Mac?

Jill Watts  05:22
No. So obviously, as you know, like my dad was loved them. So I always heard it growing up. But really what got me on it is I just finished reading this book called Daisy Jones in the six and it was apparently loosely inspired by Fleetwood Mac. And I didn't know that until afterwards. Well, the whole the whole entire time how they were describing, I was like, that sounds like Stevie Nicks, you know, just and then I found out later that it was loosely inspired. So I've kind of been going down a rabbit hole. But yeah, I've been listening to that album or

Sam Fischer  05:51
good band. I saw him. I saw him all before. Yes. Good. Once I'm in Lincoln, and it was like one of the only shows they ever had where they ever had nerd. They had to stop the show, because Mick got sick. Oh, it's been probably 10 years or eight or 10. I saw him in Pennsylvania wants to the whole band. Yeah, they're incredible. I mean, it's just a band. Like a Paul McCartney or an AC DC when he's like, Yeah, this is like a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame kind of town. Yeah,

Jill Watts  06:23
just a little like treasure in Yeah. Music. Yeah, yeah, that's very.

Sam Fischer  06:30
Bamba, we'll go into that all the kids are out of the house, and you don't have another words, they're gone. Or you've got them out of the house. They're all like they're grown. Grown up, they're mature. And for the first time and Jill's life, she doesn't really have to worry about time or money. What is the first thing that Jill does?

Jill Watts  06:54
Um, oh, my gosh, I don't know. Because I think about that a lot. And then my oldest is going to start middle school, but then I've got like a one year old. So I'm going to be here for a while.

Sam Fischer  07:06
You'll get there. Yes.

Jill Watts  07:07
I think the first thing I would do is like, book, all of my trips of the places that I would want to see in the world that I haven't visited yet. Travel. Yes.

Sam Fischer  07:21
was first on the list.

Jill Watts  07:24
If by that time, I haven't gotten there. I want to probably Peru like Machu Picchu. Yeah, South America. I also want to visit Africa. I'm just like, I want I want to see the whole world. So that's, I guess Peru would be like the top of my list right now. But I hope to get there before traveling. Where have you been? Yes. Um, so the first time I left the country would be Mexico like a basic resort.

Sam Fischer  07:58
Did you not speak Spanish?

Jill Watts  08:00
I did. Well, that's helpful. Yeah. So obviously, I want to visit places where I can speak Spanish people. But I've been to Mexico. Honduras, Ireland. I love Ireland. It is so fun. I can't wait to go back to Costa Rica.

Sam Fischer  08:20
I've been to I've been to Honduras or Costa Rica.

Jill Watts  08:24
Costa Rica is like the destination. That's what they say. Yes. It's just so cool. Um, Dominican Republic.

Sam Fischer  08:34
Might have been there on a cruise for like two hours.

Jill Watts  08:36
Yeah. I mean, it's definitely a third world country sharing an island with Haiti. Yeah, so not a cool sewer system. But it's very beautiful and cool. Um, yeah, but my favorite place in the United States that I visited that I want to go back to is New Orleans. New Orleans. Yes. Everyone's like, it's so gross and weird.

Sam Fischer  08:54
No, it's not. It is surreal fabric. And that's cool. Yeah.

Jill Watts  08:59
Oh, my gosh, the history the combination. Yes. I'm like, This is literally the coolest place. Yes.

Sam Fischer  09:05
Yeah. Cool. Friend of mine has a has a apartment in downtown New Orleans. I mean, it's just,

Jill Watts  09:14
yeah. Well, she went once

Sam Fischer  09:16
a minute walk to Bourbon Street. Yes. It was incredible.

Jill Watts  09:19
Yeah. The architecture, the history everything. Tie was stationed there in the Navy. So he lived there. And so that's why we went to Oh, go and yeah, right. Yeah. Back to visit.

Sam Fischer  09:31
Music Festival. They're about

Jill Watts  09:33
Oh, fine. Now.

09:37
What's it called the pig festival?

Jill Watts  09:40
I don't know. So that can't be right. But it's probably right.

Sam Fischer  09:43
Yeah. So I went and saw this guy, that his name was Tyler Childers. And at the time, I had no idea who Tyler Childers was, but it was it was kind of like a Fleetwood Mac kind of thing. Like we got the solid guy saying like, Oh, he's kind of got it, whatever it is. He has it and I I didn't you know, I didn't know this is the sort of a big deal and I went backstage a doctor and we go do it. I don't. I go, I don't. Yeah, I wasn't. I said, whatever. You have it, whatever it is you have it. But anyway, so I'm at Tyler Childers in New Orleans wants cool. Yeah, I love it. I love New Orleans. Great town. Great town.

Jill Watts  10:26
Yeah. Super cool. There.

Sam Fischer  10:28
I actually need to put that on my list to go back to

Jill Watts  10:31
Yeah, just don't wander so good. Wandering.

Sam Fischer  10:34
I want to do more garage. Oh, it's probably a cliche ish. Yeah, I do want to

Jill Watts  10:39
think it's okay. It's a cliche. So it's cliche for

Sam Fischer  10:42
school spirit. So this week, I so everyone in the world if you don't know by now, then you don't know me. Everybody knows that I. George Lynch is by far and away my favorite musician of all time. And I'm actually lucky enough to have I've got his number. Right. And so I had a little neat experience this week. He has he has like, I think he has six or eight. But he has like eight albums coming out this year. He's very prolific, like six different bands. I mean, it's, it's insane. Anyway, one of his album, one of his, they released one of his songs off of a project called sweetened lunch. So it's with Michael Sweet with the band. striper, phenomenal voice. And George Lynch was an odd pairing, because George Lynch is an atheist and Michael Sweet as a evangelical Christian. But anyway, anyway, and the chemistry is unbelievable. And so it was just it was a song and I heard it and it's just it was, it was incredible. And so my guitar teacher, and I like, six hours after it came out, we're break trying to break it. Anyway, I had I had, I'm just like, my guitar teacher, like, well, once you text him and tell him what you think about this, I'm like, I don't want to bother him, you know, but I did. Later that day, I did. I gave him a critique of a solo and all this stuff and text. And he was very kind enough to get back to me and basically, yeah, he's, he's, he's like, Well, I'm glad you liked it. Because I literally I was, I didn't think I was focused enough. And I just found that one and I'm like, okay, whatever. That good for your Yeah. Level iron. Standard. Well, I just hold that in. Okay. Anyway, I imagine. I mean, what a phenomenal thing to have a relationship with musicians like that. No, your uncle minder had, I think he had a few, some maybe in tall tales, but he legitimately knew some people like that as well. And I always remember just thinking he's either full of it, or he's really lucky. I think he was really lucky. So if Jill Watts had Oh, God an opportunity to have that kind of relationship. If you had whose phone number would you want? What? Whose? You know?

Jill Watts  13:08
I almost I want you to guess who I'm gonna say. Because the second you started telling me. Oh, no.

Sam Fischer  13:17
I know who they are. Yeah, the whole world. Oh, Paul McCartney.

Jill Watts  13:21
No, Marshall Mathers. Eminem. Eminem. Yes. Hmm. And that's like a no questions asked answer

Sam Fischer  13:32
is that so he would have come out about the time that

Jill Watts  13:36
I was in fifth grade. mattered, okay. I was in fifth grade. And my dad got me the unedited version and the whole world knows probably what that sounded like. Yeah. And I think actually, it was like a second album. So I was young.

Sam Fischer  13:53
And his taste is all I

Jill Watts  13:55
mean, I asked for it, but he was just growing up. He was very like, in our house. It was not like no swearing, but I never swore like I knew not to but it was never like made into a big deal. So right it never Yeah, I wasn't like oh my god, I have this my friends were like, Oh my gosh, you have this What the heck is this? Yeah. But it was just never so what would you

Sam Fischer  14:18
sweat? What What would you do if you had that kind of access? Because for me, it's like, and I don't I really don't want to bother him. I really I love that question. And so I don't I mean, I text him once or twice a year. Yeah, you know, and somebody might say, Oh, I'm just texting him happy birthday his birthday so I did you know and he appreciate what you're actually he sent me a text on New Year's Eve. I'm just like made my year Oh, my God. But would you would you like would you wouldn't abuse that relationship would you

Jill Watts  14:48
know, I think that I would definitely like be just how you were I would like want to say something here and there. But I wouldn't I think if I could build like an X relationship, I would just see what he was like on a daily basis how he, because he has children how he parented his children.

Sam Fischer  15:11
And that was my answer for the invisible part. I would go hang out with George Lynch for two weeks, and he wouldn't even know it

Jill Watts  15:16
crazy. So I couldn't do that, because I'm so heavily influenced by people's energies. And I just would want to start like being like them and doing what they were doing. And I would lose sight of myself. Really?

Sam Fischer  15:30
Do I have an energy today? Do you have it? I don't feel it. I don't think I have an energy today. No, no, you're feeding off my energy. No, you're not. No, I don't have one. I don't have any.

15:40
Yes, you do.

Jill Watts  15:41
Not today. It's not an energy like that. It's not just

Sam Fischer  15:43
it's just, again, this is this is a generation X Talk. I was

Jill Watts  15:51
talking about but it is such a thing. Like and I don't think everyone and I don't think it's just like people my age or your age or anything like that. I think it's certain people in every generation are just more kind of, but I'm very much impacted. So like I wouldn't, like I have to work really hard to like, keep sight of who I am. And so I wouldn't want that like continual flow of access. You

Sam Fischer  16:19
wouldn't go on visible on Eminem, but you you know, you try and identify what what makes him tick a little bit.

Jill Watts  16:27
Yeah, okay. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, I

Sam Fischer  16:30
understand that. I understand that. shifting gear for all the plates. I told you, this is gonna be a no, I like it. What is the one thing that you've learned from David Goggins that you think you will use for the rest of your life?

Jill Watts  16:44
Okay, everything first of all, um, I would say the one thing that I come back to, is in his first book, he talked about, like, the cookie jar, I think maybe yes. Where he's

Sam Fischer  17:02
hurt me book. Yes. Yes. The second book is called, never finished. Yep. So

Jill Watts  17:07
jar in that book, I would say after I read that, I was like, that was a whole shift in my life. And so well, let's

Sam Fischer  17:14
talk well, you don't listeners don't know what the cookie jar is. Okay, the cookie

Jill Watts  17:17
jar is you write down and correct me if I'm like getting this wrong, but I think it's right. Um, you write down all of the like, hard stuff that you've made it through. And when you're struggling, you go back and you just kind of remind yourself,

Sam Fischer  17:33
hey, it's so bad. Yeah. I made it this far. Yeah. And I did this. Yep.

Jill Watts  17:38
And now if I'm facing something, I can be kind of reminded of like, this will this too shall pass. Yeah, that thing, like, it kind of empowers you to because I was just talking to someone the other day, I put this post on Facebook. And I was like, What's the most like, are the best advice you've ever been given? And someone reached out to me privately, and we were talking? And she was like, you've been through some? You know, I don't want to swear out loud. But yeah, you've been through like, the stuff that you have seen, like for you to want that. And so I think it was just a reminder sometimes, because I'm one of those people that's like very hard on myself. And every moment. It's just like, sometimes you have to sit back and be like, okay, like, I have gotten through a lot, even if I'm not where I want to be, but it just kind of remind you that yeah, you're fine. You're doing fine. You got

Sam Fischer  18:30
it. What else? One more thing? from God.

Jill Watts  18:33
Oh my gosh, just the no excuses mentality. I think that's yeah, for me,

Sam Fischer  18:41
the victim mentality. Victim. Anybody could be a victim. It was that guy. Right? Yeah. But he just curses it.

Jill Watts  18:52
And I think that's, it's definitely something I kind of like preach, not preach. But you know, to my students, it's just like you, you decide, you know, the only the only thing we have control over in our lives is yourself. And nobody's been dealt a perfect hand as far as I know. And so so it's just something that and just because

Sam Fischer  19:15
you think just because you think that guy there's got it all put together. Like you probably just as miserable or more so than you Yeah, so

Jill Watts  19:25
or was something else or in a different way and I think it's just I've always been very like vocal and I'm very expressive. I'm very I'm emotional. I'm all of the things and so I I always have to remind myself like, quit complaining because I you know, just I hate complaining. Quit doing that quit feeling sorry for yourself. You gotta do it for a second then be done. And then also, there's people out there who are probably struggling just as bad as you are, and they're just they don't, they're not as out loud as I am with it. You know?

Sam Fischer  19:54
Yeah, I just did a podcast a couple. I love promoting past past Episodes hopefully people are interested. But anyway, I just did a I just did my longest podcast hour and 40 minutes and was working with a friend of mine who had Oh, I can't remember the name of it, but it's a parasite that was in her eyes. She was gonna lose her. Oh my gosh. One to 3 million that kind of a thing every day. Yeah. Anyway, her her. I mean, she had to it was ridiculous. She had to put in for five months on the hour, every hour around the clock around the clock. She wasn't sleeping. She had put in like, three to five eyedrops every one hour. And these are hydrops of like, pool cleaner. Okay, like she's putting acid in her eye. I mean, it's miserable. And if you read a migraine headache, that's, you know, she had to be calm, cool, dark places, and all that. And, you know, she has she has four girls, and she best but she's most pot. It's just so positive. And that's, that's basically what she said, as she goes, I go, Listen, the worst thing you have me is I'm a loser. And either people have it worse, you know, and I'm just like, What a phenomenal attitude to have. When she you know, it was like a chore for her to like, do that, like go to the grocery store? I mean, shut down. blanket over. I mean, it's just not Yes. So, yes, it's all relative, isn't it? It's somebody that was like in miserable, miserable pain, pain, and we define pain, with their pain to me is like, I want that to stop right now. And she had that for five months.

Jill Watts  21:33
Yeah. And things like that. That just seems so they don't there's no rhyme or reason. You know, it's just like, how does that happen to someone and not this person? There's always

Sam Fischer  21:45
a million lucky. I mean, you should have friggin Powerball that day. I mean, I don't know. So I'm gonna do something we've never done on cowboys, not against I think I can do this legally. But I want to get we're talking about pain and fighting through things. And it's back to my friend Goggins. I doubt you have time to view all of his posts. But if you've seen the last one, his most recent post,

Jill Watts  22:04
what is it? I just saw one where he was like, running again after he like for the first time and he just like, Oh, you did surpass somebody? Yes, yes. Well, we're good.

22:16
Ever since I've known David, he and this guy get together like 30 mile course. And without fail every single time I come to pick them up. David's always lagging behind. Well, the first time they're running today, since David's leg surgery two

Sam Fischer  22:33
years ago, by the way, who runs for the first time? A 30 mile race after two years. That person

22:40
don't know what happened. But I've already passed that guy about two minutes ago and here. So what happened

22:56
I pushed him up. Chris is over here. I swear to God, I saw it. He's older.

23:10
He comes to town. He checks into it. On the landlord's at 14 Of course, I'm wanting to do drop off somewhere in there. I said that today. I felt this breath of breath

23:37
for you as pitch weakness. And those weakness what is it?

23:49
Got it. Can I get any water anything? At least

23:54
for a long time? See me here. Guess what?

Sam Fischer  24:06
Oh, yeah. All right. So for the listeners, he's like jogging, I think I think he's lived in Las Vegas. And and yeah, look, he's drawing a desert on this highway. And he is not it's not a slow jog. He is he's moving right along. It looks like he's probably doing about a seven minute mile. Yeah. And so a couple things. Video that struck me that I just wanted to sit with you about is one is he has a piece of real estate in my head. I think everybody relates to that. And but when he was able to switch it, I'm now the landlord of that. Boy, that's just such a phenomenal Yes. Message. Just

Jill Watts  24:49
yeah, that was it's funny. You say that first because that was when I was watching it. It was one of just those like quotable moments you know, that's gonna stick with you. And how he just was saying like he He has been taking up that real estate for so long. And like you say, flip the script on it. But what I think is really cool. And what it points out is just like the never quit. Yeah. And I think especially right now and everything is such like, instant gratification and you know, you message somebody back right away or this or if you don't, then whatever, like my high school students say, Oh, they left me on read meaning they read it and they didn't get back to you. And I'm like, not everyone has to answer's no obligation. Yeah. And like you, it's okay to have your space and that kind of thing. And I just thought that was just such a huge testament and something that resonates with me, because it's just like for me, so in my career, this will be my third year that I'm trying to get a job as an administrator, and every single year, it's like, such a letdown. And it's the same thing. It's taking up the real estate in my head and you can't, like you really can't give up if there's something that you want, you have to

Sam Fischer  26:02
overcome that and that's the other the other lesson in that little thing is he prepared because he knew exactly where he was gonna pass that guy and give it to him. mile 14 or whatever, going up a hill or whatever. And he prepares like, nobody prepares Yeah, and I don't think people realize that about Goggins I just think he's like this maniac. Yeah, fires all the time. No, no, no, no, no, he measures and he studies and he prepares. I mean, when he had his leg surgery, it's in, it's in the book, never finished. What did he do? What does Goggins do, he doesn't have to do any of this stuff. But he like he, he's an EMT. And so he like, I don't know what it was. He got some advanced degree or something. But he, he read this book, and he, you know, he prepares and the way that he consumes information, the way he has learned anything in his life. He doesn't. He can't just read a book and get it. He has to go back and like underline and just Yeah, and he'll write it out and he'll write type of topics out he'll take those while he's reading. So he's prepared. He'll do whatever it takes to put in the time, and it's everything that doesn't have to do with instant gratification. He's Yes, it's the exact opposite. He despises instant gratification. Isn't that something? Yeah, that just that little. So follow David Goggins on Instagram because he is more about the cursing most people. You know, my what I missed was Mitch, my wife on your brand. She doesn't really get him because like, he's always Casson. Well, I don't think he quite get it. I mean, you don't they don't know me, son. I mean, that's yeah. So anyway, yeah, Goggins kick for a second. Sorry, no, everybody, but he's, we're talking George Lynch and Goggins all on the same podcast, man, what else is important?

Jill Watts  27:44
That's okay, that's I think, you know,

Sam Fischer  27:47
now you're just about the same we're all walking each other. Right. So that was my next question. Yeah. This is the funny I don't mean disrespect to that at all. I just, I have a dark sense of humor, I probably got it from your grandmother minor. Is the same as saying we all have a destiny with the funeral home?

Jill Watts  28:07
Yes. That's the same thing. It's just putting a What do

Sam Fischer  28:11
you mean by that? What do you mean? So what do you mean by we're all walking each other home,

Jill Watts  28:16
like as much as in I'm gonna sound like a socialist really right here, which I'm not. But as much as we all want to be different and stand out. And that kind of thing. Like, we're all the same, like in in a sense. And I don't want to say that in a way that takes away people's individual uniqueness. But I believe that every person it's just like, the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Every person, like on a soul level on a development level, really needs the same things and yearns for the same things. And so when I say we're all the same, that's what I mean. We all do it differently. We live differently. We look differently, we think differently, but we all yearn for the same things. And it's just, you know, we

Sam Fischer  29:12
all experienced the same things, which Yeah, what am I supposed to do was, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately, actually, because we are such a divided. We have more in common than we have. salutely and I don't think people they realize that sometimes

Jill Watts  29:28
they don't.

Sam Fischer  29:30
And so, you know, I wrote down some words. Greed. Does everyone is everyone been greedy in their life? If they ever experienced that emotion? Maybe maybe not. Envy is like the worst emotion I've ever had in my life. I hate it. I hate and I grew out of it, but it took a long time. Many years. Yeah, but has anyone ever been jealous or envious of something? Yeah. And how do you feel? Oh my goodness. I'm gonna say it. How do you feel when you're envious? You know, and so it doesn't matter what, you know, ideologically, maybe you're on different sides of the spectrum. But you've both both you guys have that commonality. Yes. Yeah. And it's terrible grief. If you ever lost your mom. I mean, if you ever you know, I mean, like, if you ever lost someone close to you, it's if you've ever gone through that, I mean, of course everybody has or everybody will. Despair, for sure. Is everyone ever been in despair? Um, what was that feel

Jill Watts  30:27
for you? Like, have you? Do you ever listened to Brene? Brown?

Sam Fischer  30:31
I do not. Okay. Brene. Brown.

Jill Watts  30:32
So she is less of the cowboy side of things. But she's a research scientist. Oh, we're already. She Yeah. So she started out her career researching shame. And shame. Oh, yes, have mercy and what it does to people. And she's written, of course, all these amazing books. But she recently did an HBO special, I think it was on HBO Max. But what she did, which I thought was really cool, is she has like our emotions or whatever basic thing. So we've got jealousy, envy, joy, bittersweet, whatever all of them. There's like over 30. And she goes through, she defines what they are by research, and then shows you an example from like a film. And it was really cool, because she was like, I think we get so disconnected from each other, because of how we interpret things. And it was really neat to see. Because like talking about resentment, while resentment stems from an envy, of peace of envy. And so just really cool things where she like, it's not just the touchy feely, like you say, Oh, I'm feeling really XYZ today, whatever it is, but it's just like, this is this. This is where it comes from. And this is what you can do with it or to heal it or whatever it is. And I just thought it was really cool, because it kind of gives the world just an even playing field,

Sam Fischer  31:55
I guess. Yeah. everybody's the same. Yeah.

Jill Watts  31:58
Everyone experiences all cell phone.

Sam Fischer  32:00
We're all the same. I know. I mean, that's, that's

Jill Watts  32:05
I was Wonder what like, I don't know why I thought of this. What would make Jagger be doing if he had his cell phone? In his day? Like, that's kind of the stuff I think about? What are these different personality types be like, if they had access to all of the things that we do today? How would it be different? Well, it takes two

Sam Fischer  32:25
people to play so somebody else would have to have a cell phone. So

Jill Watts  32:29
yes, I guess if he was yeah, he was doing that now.

Sam Fischer  32:37
I don't know. I mean, I think about my grandfather, who had an eighth grade education level, and, you know, very successful cowboy. died, he had two branches. And I think about him and he actually liked he actually. He liked things that would make you more efficient. He was fascinated by it in so technology. He he might have embraced it. Even my dad even my dad. Yeah. Went out on his own bought an iPad. Like what in the hell? Yeah. I mean,

Jill Watts  33:17
yeah, they got so yeah, it's not that

Sam Fischer  33:19
they wouldn't use it. It just it was a different time. Yeah. So because of the tools that we have available. Now. Communication is just different. It's different. It's different. It can be good

Jill Watts  33:34
spent a shot of

Sam Fischer  33:37
it committee. Yes, it can be crutch. For instance, when was the last while you're you're a realtor. So I assume you pick up the phone these days, but I do. Okay. Yeah. So someone calls you? Or do you say hello, you pick up the phone say, because back in the day, I just posted this? Yeah, I mean, well, I grew up we had a party line to short rings and they were at one short rings of ring one short and so maybe the the reason you picked up the phone quick, in my opinion is because you didn't want the name. Everybody in that room heard your phone ring. Everybody heard everybody else's phone ring and everyone hear that? Yeah. It was a different time. And so that's kind of why nowadays, though, it's like people will text me like hey, can I call you in five minutes? Why don't you call me right now? Could you just look down on my seconds for me to read this tags? What's the

Jill Watts  34:29
difference? I was like, nice because I'll do that. Sometimes I'll say like, are you busy? Because I know that busy. Yeah. But like can you talk to me on the phone busy? Because I think we've got so used to like we can text that time email at any time efficient.

Sam Fischer  34:45
Yeah, it's more efficient means of communication. And yeah, it's like a hassle. People don't want to get on the phone because you actually might actually have to understand them for God's sakes. You know, I mean, it's easier. Yes, much easier. A friend of mine, she used to say if you got a problem get on the phone. I mean, yeah, can't solve some an email or text again determine intonation of voice. Oh, no, no, no people are at. And somebody could take one text I could I could send the same text to 10 Different people in 10 different 10 Different Matt, are you mad? It? Yeah, you're mad at me or whatever? Yeah. So yeah, yeah,

Jill Watts  35:25
I was in a training the other day for restorative practices like part of restorative justice. And they were talking about like, all the, all the signs or whatever signals to take when you're like working with someone who's distressed because 80% of what they're saying, is being communicated outside of what the word or the words that they're using. And so I think we've all heard that before, like body language, but it is things like tone, and are they looking at you? Are they looking at the ground? Do they look, you know, just all these little cues that we have learned to interpret. But one thing that I worry about is just like my high school students, they're not learning how to interpret and communicate with people to their face, you know? No,

Sam Fischer  36:09
look at Yeah, never happen to look somebody in the eyes. And you know,

Jill Watts  36:13
so we now we teach it what happened last

Sam Fischer  36:17
two years, I won't get off on the tangent, but that were people which made it in for people. Worse,

Jill Watts  36:25
it really inhibited communication, connection, all those things that we know. And that hat, it's hard. I can tell. I can tell.

Sam Fischer  36:39
You have to read kids.

Jill Watts  36:40
Yeah. Well, like my freshman. Now. We're in middle school during that. So they weren't in middle school, the most formative like years of your life where you figure out your butt from your head, if you will. Well, they didn't get a chance to do it behind. Are you finding a social aspect is very bothersome.

Sam Fischer  36:58
How about the educational aspect?

Jill Watts  37:00
I don't. That's the thing is people. People think the only way that you learn is in school. And

Sam Fischer  37:07
there are certain things you do have to learn from school. Yeah, how necessary?

Jill Watts  37:11
Is all of it? I don't know. Yeah, I think that the day and age that we're in, they're getting inundated with people who look very look and appear to be very successful from nothing to do a school. That's kind of what they're getting fed. Yeah. And so it's really hard to sell a lot of kids on why they need to figure out how to learn things. Yeah, you know, so that part, I

Sam Fischer  37:36
understood why I needed to learn algebra. I'm like, I'm never gonna use this.

Jill Watts  37:40
It's it's like critical thinking, it's learning how to learn it really doesn't matter. Whatever I

Sam Fischer  37:45
learned. There you go, my good teacher ever had is he taught me how to learn. Yes. So learn and understand. Yes. And that's very hard, very hard.

Jill Watts  37:58
And people, that's what students think. And it's really bad to reduce obviously, to grades as a form of, I don't know, money, transactional things like I need to earn this to get this and, you know, the learning aspect has been has felt far away. After COVID Yeah, I think

Sam Fischer  38:15
oh, I would imagine I God bless you. God bless you, teachers.

Jill Watts  38:19
I know sometimes I leave the building and I say God bless me. I don't know how I how I got through that day. But yeah, oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. Today, get

Sam Fischer  38:28
back on your saddle. You do

Jill Watts  38:29
get in you gotta restart. Forget to restart.

Sam Fischer  38:33
So what have you so two questions first is what have you added to your resume in the last year? As if being a realtor and a mother and a teacher and what am I leaving out? I

Jill Watts  38:45
know I actually just quit telling people I

Sam Fischer  38:48
quit telling photographer but you haven't something else recently. did?

Jill Watts  38:51
I? Did I opened a t shirt shop. There you go. Um, and it sounds where do we go to your online? Yeah, well, it's on Etsy. I'm kind of working it out now. Yep. So it's like a handmade craft marketplace, I guess. I don't know. Anyway, so what I'm doing is just like creating custom designs that I would like to where I think that and I cannot be of super positive person. So I do not want to put that out there because I'm like Queen of critiquing myself and, and all the things but the goal is that I want I think that more people in the world right now need hope and need something to hold on to whether it's within themselves or away, they can share it with other people. And so just in a light hearted way, I wanted to make something that people could wear that is positive and and communicates, you know, an expression of themselves and so

Sam Fischer  39:55
be everyone. We're all just walking each other home, right? Yeah, yeah, that

Jill Watts  39:58
was the I think the first or second thing I sold, um,

Sam Fischer  40:03
Gil can't see it because I worry I'm wearing a sweatshirt or my T shirt. Just I had to crack up because the shirt that I'm wearing today is a David Goggins shirt. No on the back of it, it says taking souls

Jill Watts  40:20
as I'm like, you know, minor all that's so funny, but I've no I find a lot. I don't want to say, I don't know, I find a lot, a lot of motivation in the very gritty, not positive, not like, you know, I also listened to like, rap and hip hop and stuff that really tells not as positive of a story that gives me sometimes more motivation to I think just that shared human experience anyway, so it's, it's a

Sam Fischer  40:52
lot of just our shared human experience

Jill Watts  40:55
they are and that's what I love that it can

Sam Fischer  40:58
and I've recently discovered that's it like, again, this is my therapy. Everybody knows it. So here's a little therapy session I

Jill Watts  41:06
got a new therapist, go into my podcast

Sam Fischer  41:08
is my therapy I discovered something about myself and that is you know, I've always said that I don't I don't get I don't get moved emotionally by someone else's stuff or anything like that. Because you said you know, you jokingly said I have the characteristics of a psychopath.

Jill Watts  41:36
Yeah, anyway. I mean that it

Sam Fischer  41:39
but but I I can't be moved. Now. I was I can be moved to tears by music. I discovered that this there are certain songs. If I haven't heard them for a while they get you. They get me. Oh, I love that. Would you like to hear that song listeners but everyone like to hear? God? Yes. Gosh.

Jill Watts  41:58
Oh my God. It is

Sam Fischer  41:59
so Hickey it's such a hit song.

Jill Watts  42:05
I absolutely. Hear it now.

Sam Fischer  42:06
Oh my god. This hit me and I don't know if I got a cry. But I was it. You fell on verta. And is is? Was that what is it that verklempt on this Saturday Night Live?

Jill Watts  42:19
Is it a real word? It

Sam Fischer  42:20
was like some Jewish Women's? Oh on verklempt. Okay. You have to check that skit out. But anyway, be Googling I became verklempt overwhelmed.

Jill Watts  42:31
Do you know how you spell that ve

Sam Fischer  42:33
R K. L is a very German.

Jill Watts  42:36
Yeah. When I was looking at this, I was like,

Sam Fischer  42:38
anyway, the song was red, white and blue by the artist Leonard skittered.

Jill Watts  42:48
You are a little patriot. I think.

Sam Fischer  42:53
And I thought that was interesting that that I can be alone in my car, listen to something we're like a little verklempt. But talking to other people, I just I don't I feel sorry for people. I respect what they've gone through. But don't get overwhelmed like that. Anyway, yeah. That seemed to

Jill Watts  43:12
feel it. No, I'm so interested in this. Do you feel like I know you feel so I don't want to be disrespectful in that sense. Because it is just different ways that people move through life. And I think like they're everybody. We need all kinds of kinds. Sure, you know, but I do wonder what, as you're moving through your day do you get overwhelmed ever do you get more I'm retired? Oh, yeah, that's true. So when you in a previous state, what would you do if you are overwhelmed? What's like your reaction?

Sam Fischer  43:54
Excellent question, therapist, Jill. Thank you. Well, what did I do when I got overwhelmed? I remember two specific times in my career where I got very, very angry. Very, very with a client and I got up and I walked off.

Jill Watts  44:13
And then where did you put your

Sam Fischer  44:15
very dramatic for me? It was I knew I had to get out of there. Yeah, so you remove gotten physical.

Jill Watts  44:23
Okay. All right. Yeah. So I'm

Sam Fischer  44:26
not a psychopath. I didn't kill anybody. I got up. And I walked away. I got up and I walked away and I went outside and took a couple of deep breaths and gave about 20 minutes I came back and that's what I did.

Jill Watts  44:40
Did you ever talk to anyone about it or express or move through it or do anything or you just know I

Sam Fischer  44:47
got some error and I was fine.

Jill Watts  44:50
Wow. That is so crazy. I do not function like that at all. At all, you would have

Sam Fischer  44:58
let it wear on you For a while, so I still the incidence. One of them is silly. I don't even remember what it was about. In the second one, I I'm still wearing a piece of that on my shoulder.

Jill Watts  45:12
Okay. Yeah, so my biggest thing is, write a book that I want to write a book too. Um, I, one of the things I work with kids that have a lot of very high needs. I also teach, you know, juvenile detention summer school again, high needs. Oh, wow. And the way I can tell you, yeah, I hope. I love. I love it. It's crazy for you, a kid even like one of the kids who struggled the most. And I just like can see someone's heart. I don't know what it is in me. But I feel like, I don't know. I think we all have like something that we're put on this

Sam Fischer  45:54
love that you just said, I feel and you said, I think I like that.

Jill Watts  45:58
I feel that. And I think and I believe we all have something that we're just super good at without having to really try. I think we all have something. Yeah, everyone's got it. It might be yes. And I think that is mine. like working with kids. Like, I don't know what it is. I just am so totally myself. And like, it just clicks and they listen to me. I don't I don't know. I can't explain it. So one of our kids who kind of struggled the most like he ended up because I told him I'm like, hey, you need to be walking the straight and narrow here until you get figured out what's going to happen because you have to take care of yourself. And you know a lot of these kids well this person did this and this this and we go right back to the same thing of no you are responsible for yourself your one and only responsibility here. I don't care if this officers being rude or whatever they're doing. Cool, but at the end of this you have yourself to answer to and so you have to line it out the only one who can do that to you I believe you can do it, can you do it? And that's kind of how I am and so I said you know if you're struggling I want you to have your teacher or whatever, get a hold of me so he after I so I go back to my normal school and he like in wanted, he got a hold of me asked me to come visit. The teachers were like we don't know what to do with him. He's like struggling really bad. So I go visit him. And I'm like uni and I'm very direct. Because our kids in our youth can you please not? Does not work

Sam Fischer  47:27
with my respectable directness? Yeah, yes. Because

Jill Watts  47:31
they feel like they're getting BS. Yeah, who wants to feel like that it's condescending. You please go to class? Like it's like No, dude, go to class, knock it off. Yes, this is non negotiable. And it doesn't have to be personal. But people really struggle with that, especially in education. And I'm very direct, I'm Yes, I think you are such a cool person, you have so many things going for you. But if you don't figure this out, you don't get a chance to really see that through. So I ended up going to visit him. And I'm like, You need to figure it out. I said, quit disrespecting people. It is their job. You know, but it's really like you're parenting them is how it feels sometimes. And you know, that's what they need. And I think we're all walking each other home. Yes, this person's in my community. It's a piece of my responsibility as I'm here to treat that person, that young person, what how I would want somebody to with my own child, and so I ended up then video calling with him again. And then you know, midnight when they turn 18 they aged out and go to the regular jail. So I believe I haven't contacted since but

Sam Fischer  48:37
the helpers, here's a helper.

Jill Watts  48:38
Yeah, that's my thing. And he had no he was fine until he left after. And it just is so crazy to me how little it takes of just a direct piece of care. Like I think we all we all want all of our youth to grow up in. Have a fine time. We don't want our future struggling.

Sam Fischer  49:01
Yes. Take care of me and nursing.

Jill Watts  49:04
Me. Yeah, please. And so it's just like, that's how you teach you teach. Other people use whoever it is like by doing and being that yourself. So it's like you have to have a good character and a good sense of, you know, confidence and assuredness and belief in them. And that's how we have to be with each other. And that's, you know, that same sentiment that we're all on this path together. And I think we we owe it to each other and where we live and the people around us to take care of each other as best as we can. Yep. You know,

Sam Fischer  49:43
that's beautiful.

Jill Watts  49:44
Thank you. I'm totally feel

Sam Fischer  49:46
it. Well, but you think it and you know it? You believe it? You said the word believe which means you know it? Yeah, that's awesome. Awesome. All right. So I'm gonna have one more question. Okay. Is I'm conscientious about time Pull to saturate this podcast episode man we can I have enough questions we've got another hour I'm not gonna do that so I'm gonna get I'm gonna let you I'm gonna let you choose the last question today out of three you get the answer whichever one you'd like to answer and they're all probably could go thought yes you may yes and you may wrap it up

50:22
okay

Sam Fischer  50:22
yeah she has no that's awesome the second guests have said no it's it's Oh lots of it's crazy. Okay so the answer what do you have left to do number one or what is the meaning of truth? Or if you could solve one world problem which one would it be and why?

Jill Watts  50:42
Oh my Gosh Can you repeat that for

Sam Fischer  50:44
you? Yes I will. What does Gil have left to do and left to do? Or what is the meaning of truth? Or if you could solve one world problem what would it be and why? So which one are you gonna answer? You bought? All three of those things don't you?

Jill Watts  51:04
I'm gonna give you a two second answer. I would solve poverty in the world and hunger for children. Okay, moving on. Okay, um, what do I have left to do? Yeah, what do you so much

Sam Fischer  51:18
just destiny with a funeral? You got it? You got some things to do?

Jill Watts  51:21
I have so much left to do here. And that's one thing I struggle

Sam Fischer  51:25
so much you have to be more specific with me.

Jill Watts  51:27
I know I gotta start and then I'm in the narrowest so I have a lot left to do I plan out my life. I actually have my vision board up behind me right.

Sam Fischer  51:39
From a distance Yep. If you leave

Jill Watts  51:41
off the right hand side because nobody knows about

Sam Fischer  51:44
that. Nobody's even gonna be able to read it. Okay, all let's you look at

Jill Watts  51:48
someone's like, my daughter's like, is it a vision board with pictures? I was like, can you stop being almost well not this side right hand side so not the right answer. Yep. So we're this is crazy. It has my it has like my lifestyle my ideal daily life my finance my, the ways I want to be, and I have to Yeah, I have to see it. So what do I have left to do? A lot. I need to we're on like debt pay down mode right now. Because I and I'm starting my like working to my seven streams of income. Because I want to become very wealthy. I want to hit millionaire status so that I can

Sam Fischer  52:30
read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, if

Jill Watts  52:32
Yeah, I have I read it twice a year. It's awesome. But I'm stuck between YOLO and my future and it's hard. It's hard. YOLO is you only live once okay.

Sam Fischer  52:44
I did not know that till the day.

52:45
Yeah. So I'm stuck. Which I always say you only live once.

Sam Fischer  52:50
Unless you're Shirley MacLaine. I don't know if you get that or not your dad who is she? She believes in reincarnation? Oh,

Jill Watts  52:57
I kind of do too. But I know I'm not gonna come back and my same guy. No, yeah, but I'm not gonna live this life again. So I got to get this life. You know. So I want to do public speaking write a book and I want to create a youth community centers in Iowa least want one here in Lincoln, that offers things where kids can get food, maybe sleep if they need to wash their clothes, study after school, a community center. Because that's a

Sam Fischer  53:38
safe space. And Jill's not like a safe space. We're not talking about you being taken care of saved from from just human needs?

Jill Watts  53:48
Yes. Because that's the thing is like we all like, like I talked about earlier, the hierarchy of needs. So the ultimate thing that every person wants to get is self fulfillment. But if we are struggling in those basic things, if we're not safe if we don't know that, you know, you have to have a constant so you know, I've I've called CPS this year at my job, and it's because of home lives. And I what I want to say is that we hear a lot just through media, blah, blah, blah, about these parents, whatever, I believe every single human being is doing the absolute best they can with the tools that they have. And I don't believe that any parent doesn't love their kid. I think that people do the best that they can where they're at and that oftentimes it's not enough. And so I never want to place blame because I life is really hard. And I know that circumstances like I became a mom and I was 2122 and it has made my adult life harder. You know, I never got to explore myself. I never got to figure out who I was. I never got to start saving money. Like I never got to do any of that to establish what I'm trying to do now. And that's so my new in comparison to well lot of kids go through. And so I think that if I could provide an actual, like a safe haven situation that lets kids just kind of get taken care of, or take care of themselves, because it's not, you know, majority of my students do their own laundry, feed themselves take care of siblings, they're already doing everything, but having that safe space to build it. Yes, it's that consistent piece of civility. In somebody's like, I this year, I talked to my kids all the time as if no other adult is. So I will say sometimes, are we making sure we're taking a shower? Once a day or twice a day? If we're active? washing our bedding? Yes. washing our bedding,

Sam Fischer  55:47
sued you for that?

Jill Watts  55:50
I mean, they smell. So what do you want me to say? I mean, maybe no, maybe no adult has directly said to them, you have to take a shower every day. Yeah, it's gross. Obviously, if you're doing activities, I had, like I said, to out to kids, and I said, and not only that, you need to be washing your clothing. I said, we're not really wearing hoodies and sweatshirts three times in a row or not, you know, you're washing your bedding and don't take a shower and get in dirty, you know, and I said, if you ever need help with any of this stuff, send me an email tell exactly what to do. And I had a kid email me, how do I wash my sheets?

Sam Fischer  56:29
Bless you, Jill. And I almost moved me there for me. I said, this is what you do. Good for you. And you make it a norm because it's just like, I need to know I just made a big difference in somebody's life. And not only

Jill Watts  56:41
that, but knowing like, and I'll say yeah, kids email me and ask, and it opens up the door for other kids to say I need to ask to you know, your kids

Sam Fischer  56:51
are lucky man. Your students are lucky they trust you. Or at least you're building something out called trust. Yeah. Planting seeds. Actually, yes, it takes a while it does.

Jill Watts  57:00
And you know, sometimes you don't see the seeds you planted until a long time after. So it's a lot of belief. Yeah, keep planting seeds every day, you know, and it's really hard. It's hard work. teaching, teaching high school is really it is

Sam Fischer  57:17
sunshine in the water in the air. And

Jill Watts  57:19
yeah, I don't know, I got called scary this year. So I think I'm finally moving up in life. Yeah, I think it's an achievement

Sam Fischer  57:28
suite. Um, okay. So do you have? Yeah, I had one works for us.

Jill Watts  57:34
I do. Um, I want to talk about character, and it'll be a really quick character. And what I talk about is who we are all the time, and the way the habits that we have the things we do in an ongoing way. What I tell students is, they will say, Well, I'm a good student, but right now I'm not being a good student. I said, No, you you are who you are all the time. Your character is what you consistently present. What I think is really interesting, and I thought it was cool. What is that? In Spanish, they have two words for being they have a temporary state of being in a permanent state of being, we don't have it in English. What are those words? So sad ser and s? Star? ESDs? Yes, true. And they are used for different? Explain to me that way? I chose Yes. Yep. So what I think is really beautiful as one it's a really old, an old language. And I think that sometimes we lose some of that wisdom through time, when you think of where when was this developed? Well, it was developed in a time that people could differentiate how your how you are just existing. And so I think the things that are, you know, what separates the two is your characteristics where you're from, things that don't change quickly, or at all, and then things that can change really quick, like your emotional state, your location. So what I think is really beautiful about that. And what I used to teach to kids is the one way it's it is who you are. So if you want something to be a piece of your character, it's not a one off, it's something that you have to pursue. So it's something that I think about when I say okay, whether or not I worked out today I was a healthy and a fit person because I am a healthy and a fit person. Overall I take care of myself. Maybe today I didn't work out. But I have these qualities just in the same way. We you know, we get in this rush of the fad diets or Oh, summers coming, I need to lose weight and I need to do this. So that XYZ and it's like, that's not how it is. So you can go to the gym all you want but you're not a fit and healthy person. And so Oh, I just one you have to be patient and with yourself, you have to know that like your character, the lifestyle, the things that you want to be and embody, take time, consistency, commitment, and in the world that we are in right now, it's easier to not be a healthy person and to then go on a diet. And I think what we want that gives us peace in our spirit is to be and embody these traits. And to be these people. We can't do it overnight. And so it's like, you know, Weight Watchers makes their money on people who fail. That's that's their business. Yeah, yeah. And so if you want to be a better version of yourself, you have to be really intentional. It can't just be a one off. Yeah. And so I think like, my, my goal this year has been the intention and the purpose and that every single day, I'm a creative, so I'm not a tidy person at all, but I'm like, I have to be I want to be, I want to be tidy. I don't want to be a messy person who cleans their house, I want to be a tidy person. So if I want to be a tidy person, I have to do it every day. Yeah. And I have to make the habit and I can do it because I never used to work out and now I work out you know, all the time. Five, six years ago, I was never a gym person. And I am I've built a habit. And I think that you know, our brain has the ability to grow and learn and I want anyone who hears this to be empowered to know that they can be whatever they want, you know, they can make their life however they want it. And you know, you can you actually can.