Look for the Helpers - with Special Guests Bri Siegert, Jillian Watts, and Brandi Preston

In this episode, the guests discuss their memories of 9/11 and how they help people in their respective fields. They share their feelings when helping others and reflect on why they were called to help. They also open up about personal experiences with loss and how it has shaped their desire to make a difference. The conversation highlights the importance of finding purpose in helping others and the impact it can have on both the giver and the recipient. The conversation explores the importance of vulnerability and how it can lead to personal growth and connection with others. It emphasizes the need to take care of oneself and seek support from trusted friends and professionals. The power of authentic relationships and the impact they have on mental health is discussed. The conversation also touches on the different approaches individuals have when seeking help and the importance of finding good healthcare providers who prioritize patient well-being. In this conversation, the importance of collaboration and teamwork is highlighted, with the idea of bringing together different professionals to address various aspects of health and wellness. The concept of being a force multiplier is discussed, emphasizing the positive impact that one person can have on others. The ripple effect of living authentically and vulnerably is explored, with the understanding that one's actions can inspire and influence those around them. The challenges of being a woman in your 30s are acknowledged, including societal expectations and the need to navigate traditional gender roles. The conversation concludes with a reflection on leaving a positive impact and legacy, with a focus on making a difference in the lives of others.

Takeaways

Vulnerability is key to personal growth and building connections with others.
Taking care of oneself is crucial in order to effectively help others.
Seeking support from trusted friends and professionals is important when facing challenges.
Authentic relationships have a significant impact on mental health and well-being.
Different individuals have different approaches to seeking help, and it is important to find what works best for oneself.
Finding good healthcare providers who prioritize patient well-being is essential. Collaboration and teamwork are essential in addressing various aspects of health and wellness.
Being a force multiplier means having a positive impact that amplifies the efforts of others.
Living authentically and vulnerably can create a ripple effect, inspiring and influencing those around you.
Women in their 30s face unique challenges, including societal expectations and navigating traditional gender roles.
Leaving a positive impact and legacy involves making a difference in the lives of others.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
03:04 Memories of 9/11
08:02 How They Help People
14:05 Feelings When Helping Others
28:03 Personal Experiences with Loss and Coping
34:49 Finding Purpose in Helping Others
37:41 The Importance of Vulnerability
43:32 Taking Care of Yourself
48:24 Seeking Help from Others
56:59 The Power of Authentic Relationships
01:08:21 Finding Support in Friends
01:10:09 Different Approaches to Seeking Help
01:13:12 Differentiating Between Good and Bad Healthcare Providers
01:15:24 The Importance of Collaboration and Teamwork
01:19:04 Being a Force Multiplier
01:20:53 The Ripple Effect of Living Authentically
01:25:01 Challenge

Transcript

NTRODUCTION (00:00.59)
Welcome to Cowboys, Not Eggheads. Home of the brave, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys and let's keep the conversation alive on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Remember to subscribe, rate, review, and share. And now, Cowboys, Not Eggheads with Sam Fisher.

Sam Fischer (00:32.782)
On September 11th, 2001, there was a national tragedy that we're all aware of. And, uh,

whoever the authorities, whoever they are, were quite concerned about how children were going to react to the events that happened, which were pretty major. It'll be interesting to talk to you all about that here in a minute. But one of things that they did is they asked Mr. Rogers, who was one of my heroes, believe it or not, to come out of retirement to do kind of a PSA on what do we do, you know, or what do you tell kids?

And Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers. And so today we've got three helpers, three of my favorite helpers. And it's no coincidence that they've all been on this podcast because they're part of Sam's Army and they are fantastic, wonderful human beings that all three have large hearts. I recently discovered in a couple of my podcasts, we talk about.

I don't have a, I don't feel for my heart. These ladies feel from their heart. I feel for my gut. That's why it's so big. Did you have that written down? Nailed it. Thank you. You nailed it. Timing and everything. The delivery was perfect. Thank you. She has a big heart. Well, Sam has a big gut. So there you go. So we want to welcome back.

I'm gonna introduce you all. We have, welcome back to Bree Sigert, the relentless warrior is what I call Bree. She is in episodes two 17, two 18, three 17, four 16, and today five 15, which officially makes her the most, the guest with the most appearances on Cowboys Not Eggheads. Congratulations. Well, that's quite the intro. Hello. And then next to Bree, we have,

Sam Fischer (02:38.286)
the serial seeker of enlightenment, the one person that would use mind flow, neuroplasticity and David Goggins in the same sentence. Jillian Watts, my second cousin or cousin once removed. So they say, um, who has her own, uh, podcast called the Jillian show. Yes, I do. It's pretty good.

Oh, thank you. Okay. I actually listened to it. I heard you shout it out the other day, by the way. And then we have one of my very first guests, the passionate drive and chosen helper, Brandy Preston. Oh, fancy. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. She was in episode 106.

And so I am gonna go around today. We're gonna do, I don't know if y 'all heard my men's panel, but I'd like to do the same kind of thing. And that is, I'm gonna try and get out of the way. I want you guys to talk to each other. I think you three are very alike and I think it's gonna be a good conversation. So I'm excited about it. So feel free to ask.

question another person or whatever. This is a panel discussion. We're gonna try something new, okay? So we're gonna start and I'm gonna go kind of around Robin. I'm gonna ask each one of you three quick questions of introductory. First is, we'll start with Bri. Your memories of 9 -11, how do you help people and how do we know each other? Okay, memories of 9 -11.

I don't even need to think about it. I remember exactly where I was. I think everyone can kind of attest to that, but I was in the fourth grade. I remember being in class and it was like shortly after we said the Pledge of Allegiance. I don't even know if they still do that in schools anymore. Yeah. Do they do the Pledge of Allegiance? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I don't know. But I remember like our teacher like stopping class and like turning the TV on and his name was Mr. Payne. I hadn't really seen men.

Sam Fischer (04:53.646)
cry that much up to this point in my life. And I remembered him crying in class. And I think a lot of us kids didn't really understand the gravity of this situation, but the feeling, like that heaviness and just knowing like something was very, very wrong. That's the memory that I have of 9 -11. And then coming home that day and my mom being in tears and just, it was just a very tragic day. It's a very instilled memory in my mind. How do you help people?

I help people. I am a CrossFit coach. I like to think and a nutrition coach, but I like to think of it more as like a lifestyle coach because there's just so much more than just, you know, food and fitness that goes into being a healthy person. So yeah, I help people change their lives. And how do we know each other? We know each other through CrossFit Kinesis. That's where I met Sam and we became really good friends. Yep.

Miss Watts? Yes, okay, so 9 -11, so very similar memory to Bree. I was in sixth grade and I remember like the hall just got weird, like everything got silent and my teacher, like her, I just like, I have like a core memory, probably like you guys do. And I remember her body language changed and she started talking, there was like a very like smart kid in our class, I remember.

who obviously also knew what was going on and knew about it. I didn't know what the Twin Towers were. I didn't know. So I guess I just wasn't familiar with that, but they pulled a TV in and then they had that one student explain.

to us, like what was going on. And I remember thinking, cause that was in the day where like you wheeled in like the box TV, like, you know, and we were, we watched like literally when the second plane hit, cause we like had it on live. And so we saw that and I mean, kind of like Bri said, everything just was like silent. And that heaviness also, I was going to say something about that because I feel everything changed.

Sam Fischer (07:06.158)
like in just society, people got weird, the kids got weird, the kids even picked up on like what would be more of like an adult, I guess, seriousness, if that makes sense. But I remember that and that's kind of all. I don't remember going home or what happened, but yeah, I remember it being very like poignant moment that this is not good. And how do you help people? How do I help people?

um by how I live my life. I do a lot of different things. I hate saying them all out loud but I've been a teacher for 10 years. Um I, I, so I do that. Um I've also taught juvenile detention so I gravitate towards kids who need a little bit more love. Um so I try to be very intentional with that. I also have four children and so I do a lot of helping. I also just am very intentional with every relationship. So if there's people in my life like I just this last week

my friend was like, I have to put a meeting together and I don't have anything done. And I just like put the meeting slides together for her. And she was like, oh my God. And I'm like, no, it's like nothing. Like you need help. I can help you forget. And then like later you kind of forget that you even do stuff like that. But I just try to, however I am living, I try to show up as a helper, I guess. Good answer. And how do we know each other? How do we know each other? Yeah, that's great. We're cousins.

We are related, thank Well, we have good blood, we come from good bloodline. Heck yeah. The Watts side. Not the Fisher side, the Watts side. Okay. All right, Brandy Preston, will you tell us about 9 -11? What do you remember? Yeah, so very similar to your guys' experience. So I went to St. Roberts and so they came over the intercom and the priest prayed. Well, how old were you? I'm sweating. I was in fifth grade. Oh, so we had four by six. Fifth so. Oh, right in the middle of you guys? Yeah. Yeah.

And then I remember when the second, they didn't show us on TV. They kept actually turning the TV away from us. Like we couldn't watch. But somebody had said like a second plane hit the tower and I'm the daughter of two police officers. And I was like, that doesn't sound like an accident. And my fifth grade teacher is actually like messaged me on Facebook, like every 9 -11 sends like, I will always remember that you like called that out right away, you know? And then we went to church and people were like pulling their kids out of school and.

Sam Fischer (09:24.238)
being the daughter of police officers, I was like, I wonder if I'm going to be here late or if my parents are going to come get me. Like, are my parents going to have to do something for this? Right. And they ended up coming to get me because, you know, obviously it was in New York and not in Omaha. But that was just kind of how my brain worked was, am I going to be here at school or am I going to get picked up by somebody because are my parents going to somehow have to go respond to this? Right. So kind of a little bit of a different take, I think.

how I help people. So I started a nonprofit that focuses on hereditary cancer. So we help people if they're diagnosed with the cancer or if they're high risk for developing cancer, kind of navigate that journey. In the last couple of years, I've gotten really into prenatal genetics too. So kind of have two ends of that. So just kind of help people along some really difficult paths when it comes to being sick themselves or having family members sick with cancer. Well, cancer, the first we just had a podcast with Danielle Jensen.

Granny introduced me to Danielle, but anyway, she had cancer. Who's the first person that she called? Right here. She's an expert at all things cancer. Oh, thank you. Yeah, we'll probably dive into that a little later. I wish I didn't know as much about that disease as I do, but it's kind of a way to pay it forward, right? We all have things happen in our lives and that's kind of how we are able to help others is through our own experiences. So, and then how I know Sam, you just mentioned Danielle Jensen. I used to babysit for Danielle.

And kind of tied to 9 -11. So my mom was going through cancer treatment at that time and she loved to watch the news. And so she would always be like laying on the couch and we always knew like if we were gonna hang out with mom, like we didn't turn the TV, right? And so we'd like absorbed everything on the news, but neither of my parents were registered voters. So that was pretty interesting. And then I got super into politics because I was always watching the news and I babysat for Danielle Jensen and then.

She introduced me to Sam. And so then I worked for Sam for a number of years. So it all kind of ties together there. Yep. Yeah, that's crazy. Full circle. So I'm sure everybody wants to know what I was doing on 9 -11, right? Yeah. Yeah, we do. I'll tell you. This is good story. I was working for the Republican National Committee. That was back when I traveled 180 to 200 days a year. I had 20 states in my region and I was in Utah.

Sam Fischer (11:46.798)
in Salt Lake City, Utah, about a block away from the Mormon Tabernacle. And I remember it was about 7 .30, about seven o 'clock there. It was the mountain time. And I had just gotten up. I was staying at the Holiday Inn Express. That was before I knew that I could actually stay at nicer places than the Holiday Inn Express. I was going to Subway and all this crap. And I'm like, oh, you can actually eat somewhere besides Subway. But anyway, I...

Had I open my BlackBerry with the track wheel those? Oh, yeah, they were the best you could roll and click I wish full keyboard Yeah, full keyboard. It was they were the best. I don't know the foot and So I got my daily aren't Republican National Committee clips and I read this and I thought what in the hell? Now on an email so I turn on a TV and sure enough there it is

And then I call it, I remember calling my mom because she knew that I traveled a lot. And I said, I just want to let you know I'm fine. Um, and Salt Lake City, she said, what are you talking about? And I, so I told her what was going on. She goes, Oh Sam, you're making this up. I'm like, mom turned on the TV and, and she goes, let me call you back. I'm like, okay. So about 10 minutes later, my mother, uh, who's one of the most smartest, wisest most just talk about a helper. I mean, she was.

Uh, she, she said, I want you to call Heather and I want you guys to withdraw a thousand dollars from the bank. Cause she thought that the financial markets were going to collapse. She thought we needed cash. A lot of people did that. Um, and, and she, it wasn't panic was like, don't take all your money out. Just take a thousand dollars cash out. And we had that thousand dollars cash in our, in our, uh, uh, nightstand for about three, four months after that until, but that was my mother's advice.

So anyway, smart crazy day, crazy day. Um, but it was a day that, uh, yeah, we knew everybody was looking for some helpers, you know? Um, and so I just thought that would be a common thing that everybody that's, that's cool. All right. Into the, into the meat. How do you guys feel when you help people? Um, is it rewarding? Do you like it? Is it fun? What is your experience from?

Sam Fischer (14:05.198)
helping people, being a helper. How do you feel? I just love that your question is how do you feel? I don't know. I was like, that's not sampling. Again, I feel like, are you looking at me? I good in my gut. I was just joking with a friend of mine today. He goes, is there going to be an emoji of his stomach? Because he like, you know, the heart emoji for me, there should be like, isn't there one? There is. Is there an emoji for like, yeah, like a GI tract or something? It's literally a stuff like the organ.

Really? Oh, you're going to start seeing that for me. Yes, it is. Cool. I'm going to start. Brain gut connection. So it's like GI or something. You put GI in it. I think you just put stomach. Stomach. Yeah. Cool. I right? Yeah. So when I, so next time I love one of your guys's tweets, I'm to put a stomach on there. You know where it's all I don't have Twitter. I was just going to say a tweet. I've never had Twitter. It's not even Twitter anymore, is it? It's Oh, yeah. See, I'm so far removed from Anyway, I'm sorry.

I'm literally looking for this emoji. I know, I wanna see it. Okay, what do we think we just? Stomach? No, they don't like that. Did we make this up? Maybe we did. Intestines. I told my buddy, there should be a picture of like roadkill with like intestines. Gastrointestinal tract.

Okay, I can't spell. What was your question? Nevermind. Maybe we did pick that up. How does it feel when you help people? Yeah, how do you feel when you help people? Okay, I'll answer this first. So for me, it feels like to be aligned with who I am as a person, to feel good, like the intuitive, like gut connection, I need to help. I don't need to help, I just do it. There's not like a life I'm living that...

I'm not the person that steps up to help, if that makes sense. So for me, I don't even think like, wow, I'm helping somebody right now. I just see myself as like living and that's how I live. My mom always told me that like, you don't do something to get something in return. So I've and I've grown up like that's one of the things that she's always like preach. She just said it to me the other day. Now I know that you don't do something.

Sam Fischer (16:17.326)
to get something back. And so in my brain, I just live like that. And since I've heard that for so long, that's just how, you know, and now I tell that to my kids. And so I just do it. I don't consider myself a helper. I mean, I am, because like I'm a teacher. But you know when you help people, right? People thank you. Thank you for your help, Jill. How does that make you feel? Maybe not. Honestly, like I think I like maybe dissociate a little bit when people say thank you to me because it's uncomfortable.

I don't like. Thank you for being here today. Well, that's like a pleasantry. But if someone's coming up to me and they're like, oh, my gosh, like when I made that like meeting presentation for my friend, she was like, I'm just going to text you. Thank you. All week. And I'm like, no, you're not. You can say it one time and like be done because it's uncomfortable for me. I don't want that. Are you working on that part? Doing that. You should accept. Thanks. I am accepting it. But like we don't need to like live here. We can just say thank you. Great. Cool. Move on. I don't I don't like.

I have a hard time accepting help, which is a growth area. Do you have a hard time accepting compliments too? Absolutely. Don't say, no, no, no, no. Don't want to hear it. I love compliments. Great. So now we're going to be so uncomfortable. It's going to be like an argument, but you're just saying really nice things about each other. Let's get this to be very weird. So helping to you is just, it's who you are. It's part of your being. And so it's nothing special. Correct.

It's just, it's what you do. Maybe that's why you're a teacher. I mean, duh. Yep. Huh. Middle school, you know. Okay, who's got a more enlightened question, answer than that? He's like, you're dying. I don't know. I think for me, I like, I'm dealing with people that are kind of in a point of crisis, right? So like you're facing a cancer diagnosis or you're facing like, my child has spina muscular atrophy or something. So it's something that you never expected you would be in this position.

And so for me, it's kind of like, let me take control of the situation and help you navigate the system because I know how to navigate it and you don't. But you keep your emotions out of it. That's interesting in the sense or maybe I'm putting words your mouth. But I mean, you know how you take control is because you let them be emotional, but you're not emotional because you know what you're doing. You're in control. And I'm emotional for them, right? Like it's a really because I was there with my mom. You're not empathetic, but it's.

Sam Fischer (18:45.07)
It's like, okay, we have a challenge in front of us and we're gonna hit it head on and here's the plan, right? Because you kind of, you get this diagnosis and then it's like, am I gonna have chemo? Am I gonna have radiation? Am I gonna have surgeries? Am I gonna be here for my kids? What are all the things I need to put in place? And so, and for somebody that's never lived in that space, it's very hard and it's a lot to take on all at once. So it's like, okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna contact these healthcare providers. We're gonna set up these safety nets.

when your family asks you how they can help, they don't know how to help and they don't know how to have those conversations either. So you need to ask for specific things, right? Or like us as helpers, like somebody that's facing that journey, like volunteer to do something, say, hey, I'm going to, I have a cleaning lady. She's going to come clean your house. Let me know what time. Instead of like, hey, how can I help? Because.

They don't know what help they need either. Even like the postpartum mom life, they say, like, don't ask your friends what they need. Say what you're doing to show up for them. And like one of my best friends is pregnant right now and I already have my, I know I'm going to do this to help. And it's almost makes me think of like, you have a very defined role when you are speaking, how you show up to help. You're like, this is my job. I'm doing boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yep, for sure. It's kind of like the quarterback.

which is, I'm gonna be the hub and you need to get all these other people in place. Here's the playbook and here's how we're gonna attack this moving forward. I know you like helping people. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's one of the most rewarding things, but I think like one of the, like the most rewarding thing about it is like, usually when people come to me for help, they're not in a good place. You know, obviously like with YouTube, Brandy, like they're just.

their health is in crisis and then when people are really emotional, they don't tend to make like the smartest decisions or they try to do everything at once. And so like when people come to me, they're not in a good place with like their health and it's a very hard ask. It's embarrassing for some people to say like, I don't know what I'm doing with my food. I'm embarrassed to tell someone like what I'm struggling with. So like already there's like an a line of trust that they're opening up and being so vulnerable. And I think.

Sam Fischer (20:56.11)
The most rewarding part is just the fact that they trust me enough to even ask for help and then let me along their journey with them and kind of being more than a coach, it's like a team effort. And so I think that's a really rewarding part is just even starting is super, it's a blessing.

Why, now this is gonna be interesting for Jill to answer, but why do you guys, I mean, to me, you guys were called to help. You were called to help, I wouldn't get into that story, but, just a general question, why do you think you were called to help?

Um...

Sam Fischer (21:37.806)
Gosh, maybe for me, it's been a very, I guess, therapeutic lesson in learning how to start accepting help. I think what we're called to in life is also not for our output, but also for us to kind of learn and navigate it. Because since I am a person who always shows up and feels called to do this,

there's that other side where I have a hard time being the person that accepts it. And I think seeing how, so just talking about like postpartum. So after I had my youngest, one of my best friends was like, I'm coming over and I'm gonna cook you breakfast. It wasn't a question. She came over, she cleaned my kitchen. She cooked me breakfast for myself and my family. And just like, it's so vulnerable. Just like you guys are talking about. When you need help from somebody, even if you don't wanna say it,

in your closest relationships like no. I think that space is so just very uneasy, I guess. So like that's, I think for me, a lot of it has been that duality of you're gonna show up and be a helper because the world like needs this. But also as part of your journey, you need to see like the, I guess the power that that punch can pack for.

for you as a giver and a recipient, if that makes sense. So I think obviously the world needs all of our gifts, however we show up, but I think it's also a journey for us to learn. So I think for me, the biggest piece is figuring out how to graciously accept help and live in that vulnerable space that's not so decided. As a helper, you're like, okay, this is what I'm doing. I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna go boom, boom, boom.

For me, it's a very assured place because I know what I'm doing. I know my role. But then on the other side of that, it's not. So I think learning to have that balance, if that makes sense.

Sam Fischer (23:48.238)
Why do I like to help? So for me, why was I called to help? My mom died of breast cancer when I was 14. She was diagnosed when I was nine. So for me, helping is like, I'm gonna cry. How I overcome grief, paying it forward. Why am I like this? Why am I a disaster? I don't know when your mom passed away. 14? Oh my gosh.

Well, it was just a way to cope with loss and it's still like, I still miss my mom. Sorry, I was not expecting to do this. So it just allows me to kind of do what I know that she did for others. So my mom might think, I mean, she knew she was dying of cancer, but she did things for other people. Like she did chemo graduations. Like she would take in cakes and lays and grass skirts. And she would have like a luau for people that were graduating chemo.

knowing that she would never get there, right? And I think that was kind of how she coped with her diagnosis and knowing she wasn't going to make it through. And it made sitting there receiving chemo a lot easier for her. Yeah. Oh, chill vibes. So for me, it just when I help somebody with this journey, it's like because I haven't been diagnosed with the cancer, but I know this path and I know that system. It kind of helps me feel like I'm paying it forward in a way. And it helps me cope with that grief of like not having my mom here because.

That's the kind of stuff that she would do. Yeah, that's kind of going to learn from her too, in a sense, like watch how she moved through that and the celebration. Well, of dwelling to her. I never met her mom. I throwing my, it's not a regret, I'm sorry. I can't wait to meet your mom because I guarantee you my old man, I guarantee you my mom and my old man and your mom are hanging out somewhere. For for sure. But anyway, I wish I could have met Brandy's mom.

Cause I, I, but some, someone once told me like, I didn't, I'm sorry. I didn't know your dad, but I don't, I didn't need to because I know you. And right there. I was going to say, I can tell where you get it. She was like an ass kicking cop. I mean, it's talking about your mom. Like she was an ass kicker cop, like ran marathons. Um, and just got this thing and it took her down quick, but she got her shit in order.

Sam Fischer (26:11.758)
and took Brandy and her, we talk about in our podcast, but it's worth, it's like a radio show, people tune at different times. People, well, you tell your story. I mean, she took her by her bedside and said, like days before her death, right? Yeah. So she was born with a hereditary cancer mutation. So a broken gene that made her high risk for developing breast cancer. So she was born with an 87 % risk.

and never knew about it. So she was diagnosed at 35 and again at 38. Her care was mismanaged from the very beginning. Oncologists made the wrong decisions. Surgeons made the wrong decisions because they did not know how to treat the cancer that she had. And looking back, if they would have done one simple blood test that was available, they would have known exactly what was driving this cancer. They would have known how to treat it. They would have known what surgeries to do, and they failed to do that.

And so that's one reason I'm very passionate about what I do is because there are things that we can do that really change the course. But my mom, she had us all around her bedside three days before she died. And she said, I expect you all to go to college. I expect you all to be like, you know, contributing members of society. But I expect you to know your risk of cancer and do something about it because I was never given the option. So I was tested when I was 19.

I have that mutation also, so I'm high risk for breast, ovarian, pancreatic, and skin cancers. My brother, similar cancers and prostate cancer. So I had a preventative mastectomy when I was 22. She's the Angelie Jolie of Nebraska, like for real. Honestly, I like I've had that conversation that I would do that. I would absolutely do that. So good for you. It's just not worth it. So, you know, we're kind of talking about this. It's like,

it would have been really easy to be a victim in that mentality, right? Like I lost my mom. It would have been really easy for me to like get into drugs and alcohol and all of those things. And people probably would have justified it, right? They would have been like, oh, but she lost her mom. And that kind of goes to one of the questions later on, you know. But I think getting, finding something to help cope instead of like going down the wrong path, right? Like it kind of helped me. I'm going to go this way and.

Sam Fischer (28:29.87)
what can I do to make sure that no one else goes through that? We talked about like, there's a massive expectation to you and it's not. I mean, it's you like fulfilling your mother's wishes, right? I mean, what a wonderful gift she gave you. And there was, you know, we talk a lot on here about, cause I've lost two parents and it's all good, but I mean, there was nothing left unsaid between you and your mother.

What a gift. It's amazing. Yeah. What a gift. Not a lot of people get that opportunity. No, I did. Yeah. But yeah, not people don't. So it's a lesson. I've had friends that lose like their parents or siblings or somebody suddenly. And with how much regret they have of things that were left unsaid or just like the shock of like, I can't believe that this happened. I mean, I would never wish a cancer diagnosis upon anyone, right? Like, I feel like I watched my mom die several times, like starting with like her physical body, like.

She ran marathons and was our coach and did all these things, right? And then she wasn't able to do that, right? And she, at the end, she was paralyzed and she went blind. And so it was like, you watched her die a couple different ways before it was finally over. But I don't know what would be harder because that was really hard watching her go through that. And you never want to see somebody suffer. But also I can't imagine not having, like we went on the last vacation. We went, we did that. We had conversations.

We had a lot of closure that I think a lot of other people don't have. So yeah, I might say it again. Sorry listeners. Sorry. Like 30 core people actually do listen to my podcast, but anyway, um, we didn't knew people all the time. Um, my physician friend told me to ask my dad, ask your dad things you're never going to get an answer to. Yeah. Um, you know, because they say when someone dies, it's like burning a library, which is very true. And so I'm like, well, like what John, and he's like,

Well, how did your mom and dad meet? I had no clue. Mom and dad was already gone. I mean, I had no idea. Right. Yeah. And it was a very emotional experience even asking him that question. So it is, it's a different experience when there's illness. But anyway, boy, we're all placed today. Bree, why are you called to help? Well, first of all, I'm probably going to go to my parents and give them a hug after this. So. We should. I'm very thankful to still have them now.

Sam Fischer (30:48.622)
I can imagine losing anyone at 14, let alone like, sometimes I like think about like losing my mom. I don't know if anyone else says this, but I'm like, oh my God, what if my mom died? I need to call her right now. And like, I'm like 32 and I feel like I wouldn't know what to do without her. You know, so thanks for sharing that. Keep doing that. Yeah. And, you know, thankfully like I, my mom is like one of those people, like where I get my feeler tendencies that Sam loves.

My mom would literally never let us leave a room without saying I love you or giving it, like a thousand times. That's how I am as a mom. I'm literally just going to the kitchen, like I'm not even leaving. And she's like, okay, but just give me a hug real quick. So, but yeah, why was I called to help? When you first asked this question, the first word that came to mind was just purpose. And just hearing your stories too, I think that's your purpose to you girls too. But.

You know, I think in a lot of ways, like I didn't have a lot of help growing up and I was forced to be like really self -sufficient like early on and just kind of like take care of myself or my siblings. And, you know, there's there's a lot of like stressful situations that happened growing up and I had to kind of be the the caretaker role a lot of times when I was like too young to have that role. So I think like the fact that like I didn't have help, I want to be like that vessel for somebody else.

And even like, you know, like looking back on my childhood, like what I do now, if you knew me as a kid, you'd be like, you are in the perfect position. Like when I was a kid, like I would round up like the neighborhood kids and for like a pool party, but I would make them do like boot camps. So like I'd put together like, I'd make like games and stuff and I'd be like, okay, we can all jump in the pool, but you have to do 50 pushups first.

and whoever finishes first gets to have the whale. Oh my gosh. I was like probably in fourth or fifth grade. Oh my gosh. And now look. And like there would be like all the kids cause like we lived in like a poor neighborhood and we were like one of the only like houses that had like a pool and it was like one of those Walmart pools where they were like four foot deep and my grandpa like built a deck so we could jump in it and we had these like big blow up whales and like I'd always tried to be the first one to get the whale so I could like ride on it while everyone else drowned.

Sam Fischer (33:02.58)
I'm not like drowned, but we play another game. And then I'd be like, OK, now we have to run around the block. And then whoever gets back first gets to play war on the whale and whoever falls off has to run again. And so those are the things that I would do. And like we were allowed to like rent two videos a week from Blockbuster and I'd always get like a scary movie and then a workout video and I'd just do it like three times a day.

Like as a kid. That is hysterical. Now I'm like a coach and a trainer. Right. So it's like I literally fell into the job. I asked for like an encyclopedia on like the body anatomy and stuff and I would like put my cousins through workouts over Christmas. So I think like looking back, I'm like my purpose is definitely in health.

And leadership. Yeah. And commanding classes and things like that. So, yeah, I definitely think like purpose is one and just like throughout my life, like it's been like health and fitness has definitely been like at the forefront of my mind for no reason. I don't like I was never taught that. Like my family wasn't like overly healthy. They didn't like have health or fitness at the forefront of their minds. I just was really fascinated by it. And it wasn't till later on in life.

I went through a period of heavy drug and alcohol use and what you avoided, good for you, or as far as I know. So I went through that period and then at one point I got myself out of it and as I was working on myself, people were asking me for help and I would give them some tips and stuff. And I was like, man, it feels good to have people ask me for help because they want to become better.

Yeah. And so it was like a really slow trickle, I think, into my like mid 20s when I finally like took fitness and nutrition seriously as like a leadership role in that to help other people. So, yeah, long -winded way of just saying I feel like that was my purpose. So these two, Jill, Jillian, describe like advance or stuff. I know. You don't have it. It's just who you are. I mean, I kind of. Isn't that interesting? So there's no vent. Yeah, I was a young mom and I think that.

Sam Fischer (35:17.39)
Yeah, so I just didn't get like my 20s to grow up because I was a mom. And so like I was always kind of in that survival type of mindset. How old are you? You had your first kid? 21. Okay, yeah. 22 maybe. But anyway, I feel like I grew up with her. So and still I'm figuring that out. But I think a lot of that, not like I felt like a bandit, but it was just like me and her, you know? And so I think like finding like,

you know, being able to stand on your square, get your feet under you and be someone that can help other people. But I also was like that as a kid and in school, the leadership and that kind of thing, the first person to help. But I think like being in a vulnerable state for sure makes you want to be like, can I be on the other side of needing help? You know what I mean? Like - See, that's weird to me because if I'm in a vulnerable state, I'm insecure. See, I actually read something. I actually think this is from the Bible.

But vulnerability, I don't read the Bible very much. But it's just funny how you're like, I think it's actually from the Bible. It might be. I mean, it's one of the most quoted books probably out there. Very fair, very fair. You can fact check what you're about to say. Yeah, like fact check me, but I'm sure I could say anything. You might find it in the Bible, who knows? But it was vulnerability breeds vulnerability. And one of my friends shared it with me years ago because I was like really shy about sharing my story to people because I.

I don't know if I was necessarily embarrassed about it or I just didn't want to talk about myself or what but like I was never super open about like how I got to where I am and I was like man that's kind of crazy because like a lot of like our members at the gym or like clients don't really know that like I had the same struggles they just see who I am now and like right you know so it's like hard to be like you want to check out episode 217 if you want to hear your story.

Yeah, it's a little emotional. I love that. But when she told me that, I was like, you know, like maybe if I'm a little bit more open about it, it'll help me help people more. And I think like when I did accept that, like one, it just feels really good to like open up your heart a little bit and not be so. It takes a lot more energy to be closed off than it does to be open. And then people are more likely, I think, to when they're in a vulnerable state, they're like, OK, like she she gets it, too. You know, it's OK to open up about this or ask for help.

Sam Fischer (37:33.166)
It's that quote, like when you let your own light shine, it gives other people like permission to do that. Yeah, that's really good. Probably from the Bible too.

Or maybe Brené Brown. Yeah, our little IG posts. But maybe also the Bible. We're going to look later. We're going to look later. Don't fact check anything that we say. This is all opinion based. Thank you. But no, I think you're right. That's how like on like my own podcast, I talk a lot like I did an episode like I tried to take my own life when I was 17 years old. And people are like, wow, but I have a very like curated vulnerability. So I don't like feel super.

all the way proud, like I'm so open, because I'm not about everything, but I definitely think like you say, like when you take ownership of like, whatever it may be, like you can live like that with confidence and it lets other people be like, okay, like this person's out here, they're confident, they're doing their thing, whatever it may be. And they also, you know, own the things that they've been through. And it's like, like you say, when you're so closed off, it...

it just starts breeding shame. Like you don't want to share, you don't want to, it feels embarrassing. And so it just is this really negative cycle. So I think, you know, good for you, first of all, um, cause it is hard to kind of make that transition to being more open.

And I feel like we live in a society now where everything is like perfection, like your posts and your Instagrams and all of the things, right? So it's like, it's harder to be vulnerable because everyone just wants to put out these little snippets of their perfect lives, right? And like suicide rates, I think have continued to go up, right? And I think it's They should. You know, and it would. I shouldn't say should. Teenagers and kids, young kids. I think it's that point. Like I think people are so afraid to be vulnerable and they think that like,

Sam Fischer (39:22.798)
this little thing that goes wrong in my life is it. That's the end and I will never know the end of it. Right. And that's just not the way it is. And if we were all a little more vulnerable and if we all kind of like opened up to each other, maybe we would all know like, hey, somebody else has been through this too. They just don't talk about it because they're embarrassed or whatever, because it's not fitting into this perfect little box that we get your Instagram. Or even then there's like the flip side to have you see people who are like, oh, I'm being so vulnerable and I'm like crying in my car. And it's like, I don't know.

I think that's the type of vulnerability. No, I think it's like the authentic. That's really hard to define because I think that authenticity is the number one thing in relationship building. But it's also kind of like you say, when all, especially our young kids growing up, all they know is a curated feed of Kardashians. Oh my And there's no...

But that's even programmed in my mind and I have the discernment to be like, okay, that's not her real face or her real body. But in my brain, I'm getting dressed and I'm still like, ooh, you know what I mean? It's still in my brain. And so it's weird that you say that. And so that's part of I think being authentic in a way where you're like.

maybe you're a hot mess in that moment. Like that's more of what people need to see. Cause that's what's real. Yeah. Embrace the mess. Yeah. One like even thinking about like we're our age, like being like our age group and millennials, like I think we're kind of in the middle. We're half and half. Yeah. So we had like, we grew up without a lot of that technology or like Instagram and then we had it too. And like, think about like when we were in like middle school and stuff, it's like, there wasn't as much.

Especially like older elementary and like middle school, like there wasn't as much like Instagram or Facebook. Like you didn't just scroll on your phone. I don't. I feel like when did Facebook happen? I think it was like high school. Yeah. Yeah. I had to be invited. So it's like AIM, you know, we're like messaging each other and you can have like your little, you know, 200 character, like a profile and you would update it, you know. But like that was it was like more instant messenger. And then, yeah, Myspace. And it was like, who are my top friends this week? Who am I mad at? I'm going to move them down.

Sam Fischer (41:30.222)
You know, and it's like, think about like how small our world was and when it was just like in your school. And then now you have like TikTok and Instagram that's showing you everyone. Yeah. So it's it's hard to not compare. And I and kids like teenagers don't have the wherewithal to like discern like, is this real? Is this not like, is this how my life should be? Should it not be? You know, is this person really happy? Like they don't ask that. They're just like, I don't have any of those things. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, it is crazy and so much stuff that's just like curated to get like likes and you know what I mean? It's unreal. So then like your happiness and purpose is based off of like who's liking my photos or who's following me, things like that. Yeah, it's tough way to come up. I know. I really feel like I hate that for kids. Terrible. OK, vulnerability. Remind me after this podcast, when the recorder's off, I'll give you girls.

Nice. Oh yes. Something vulnerable about this morning. Anyway, I'm not going to tell the listeners. That's okay. Not that vulnerable, right? No, not that vulnerable. So my wife Heather, she's not here today. You probably wonder why. She's being a helper because Heather, you know Heather, she's a helper. She's helping her sister. But she is the...

the Myers -Briggs type, the counselor, which brand he is. I The counselor. What are those letters? I don't remember, but it's called the counselor if you go to 16personalities .com. But one of the things that I learned through her Gallup strengths is, and I'm not very good at this, is that Heather will help, but you've got to fill her cup up. You can't be a drain cup and help somebody, which I learned. And so my question is,

What, you know, sometimes when you guys give so much, does it drain you?

Sam Fischer (43:32.334)
I literally had this like conversation. I had like a little mini bee the other day. I just use that. It's a mental breakdown for anyone who's Please explain to A menti bee. What? It's like, just a little menti bee. But it was a mental breakdown. You lost your mind. A menti bee? Yeah. But M -E -N -T -Y.

I learn more things on this thing. It trivializes, I have all the middle school lingo if you guys I just learned what Riz is the other day for that. Yep, there it is. It's short for, it's like from charisma. I actually did sort of that the other day too. So you got a minty B. Minty B. I'd never heard that It just really trivializes the fact that you're losing your life. Oh All right, sorry to interrupt you. No, you're fine. I'm glad everyone got to It really lightens the message. Yeah. No, I was like, this doesn't happen often and I don't even like sharing it because I never want people to think I'm like getting overwhelmed.

But I was just like, I was going through like a lot of things, like obviously, Sam, you know, like possible like surgery coming up, like moving, I have a lot of like life changes coming up. And then, you know, like I tend to be one of those people about like when I'm stressed, I tend to overwork myself a little bit and like take more work on because it's something that fulfills me. But then I almost do it so much to the extent that like the words that I said, I was like midway through tears. I was like, I, just like that.

I was like, I just feel like I'm supporting so many people and no one's supporting me. And like I have this like mental breakdown. And like immediately afterwards I was like, oh, I feel better. I feel good now. I can like go do this. But I had to do like take a day where I just like, you know, I like put myself in a book, like didn't do anything. I stayed home and just like, uh, filled, refilled my cup so that I could like. But you recut, fill your cup on your own. How come you don't let other people refill your cup? Well.

That's a pretty personal direct question. I work a very extroverted job, but I'm naturally more of an introvert. So my, my. She is, she is really interesting. Can I? Yeah, go ahead. She is super interesting. She's like the nicest person I know at the gym. I call her CNG, coach nice guy. Have for years. Just, just, just, just fun to be around. You should hear her laugh at the gym, you know, and she's, she's just funny. But then she just like.

Sam Fischer (45:46.19)
she goes home and like isolates herself with her cat. Is it alright to say all this shit? Yeah, that's what I do. I can't wait to hear it. She like isolates herself with her cats and watches like horror films. Like, oh, that would never have been that. I love that for you. What the hell is going on here, dude? And so you're very, very interesting person. Yeah, it's actually really interesting. You'd be very shocked, but all every single one of us coaches at the gym are introverts naturally.

We all did like the Myers -Briggs and we all had introverted. What are your letters? Anika is? INFJ. Yes. Really? Yep. Actually. Yeah. I'm gonna try and go through the coaches. Christina was the only one that had an E, but she's naturally an introvert too, so I was a little intrigued by that one. But yeah, I definitely like. I never thought about them, but I guess that's true. They're all I's. Interesting. Yep. Yeah. So we are, but you know, when I'm in a...

that I'm really comfortable or passionate about, like exercise and fitness. Like I can be very extroverted, but, and like the - I extroverted, she ran a class, so how many people were in there yesterday? are the same. 30 people? Close to, not quite 30, but pretty close. I mean, it was, by the way, it was a killer class yesterday. They're both INFJs. It's hard to - Most rare personality type. Oh, yeah. The counselor is the INFJ, and that's what she is. Oh, you are? Mm -hmm. Yeah, I thought it was the advocate. Maybe it is the counselor.

But I know it's like very like all the descriptions in the INFJ are like, that's a coach, like a coach of some sort. But yeah, like the difference between like an introvert and extrovert is literally just like, if you're in a social setting, does it fill your cup or drain your cup? So like by the end of the day, sometimes I will like get in the car and not even realize that I haven't turned the radio on. It's just been silent. And I'm like, just like, that's just how I fill my cup. And then of course I like true crime because I'm, I don't know.

crazy. I heard that like if you what did I just mean we were talking about this yesterday at the gym like if you listen to true crime and it calls you down. Oh out through that yeah. Yeah it's like either there's like two. Your sociopath or something. Yes like one of two things like one was like if you grew up around like trauma like that like kind of.

Sam Fischer (47:59.542)
It's all me for you. Yeah, which isn't necessarily a good thing. And I can't remember what the other one was. I it's a good thing. But yeah, so I mean, my cat just sit there and listen to a true crime podcast or watch a scary movie. So. So you you isolate. I mean, you go home and fill up your own cup. That's how you deal with being drained. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So I. Mindfulness. Am.

Yeah, I have had to really like create an infrastructure in my life. Let me ask you, I'm sorry, but do you get drained when you help a lot? Oh, absolutely. Like every day? Like you have got a lot going on. Yep. Like four businesses, four kids, all this stuff. And but I really do think like knowing yourself because this in one of our questions made me think about like wanting to talk about this. But.

So many people have like expectations for themselves and they kind of like project it onto like you and they're talking to you. And I live a very like fast paced life like you're talking about, but it feels good to me. And so it's hard for me to kind of like explain that to people, but I do know myself enough to know like when I'm touched out, when I'm tapped out, like when I'm, you know, and I teach school.

all day and it's like a job where you are 100 % on. And I think like Bri talking about like the coaching, that's the same thing too. Like your role is to be the leader and to facilitate, you don't, and it's not passive. Like it's a very active job or expectation that you have. And I think as a helper, it is a very active role and position that you're doing. And so,

you are on and it is more draining. Like that's just the nature of it. And I would get really like, can I say bitchy? Sorry, I just did, I'm really sorry. Super like sure and bitchy and like I'll know myself like, okay, well what have you done today? Literally nothing for yourself, okay. So then I started to like backwards plan my life. Like I know that by this time of the day I get really touched out, really tapped out.

Sam Fischer (50:06.862)
And I can't do that because I have to go show up for my own family, right? And so I started just this year, like doing a little micro like habit tracker, but I felt that like, if I start my day where I'm like paying myself first, I'm doing all the things I need, then my day is not as focused around that active 100 % like being on because I've done stuff for myself already. So I have to have that like,

preventative kind of I guess infrastructure in my life, then I can do all of that and then I know like, okay, you need to eat, you need to sleep, all this stuff. So if I plan it enough, then that keeps my cup full and I don't function well when I go empty. If I start to go empty, I just don't even wanna go there. So I do a lot of just prevention and making sure I don't kind of tap out.

But I have a lot of like coping things that I will do. And one of the things that you've done recently is something that I wanted you, I just knew that you'd be a great candidate for. What is it? For years. A little thing called CrossFit. Oh yeah, and you tried to get me to go and I was secretly pregnant and it was so funny. Yeah, so I started CrossFit and everyone's like, are you scared you're gonna get bulky? And I'm like, listen, if I get bulky, good for me because it takes a lot of time and effort. Yeah, girl, okay. So what?

I've seen her lifts, Bri. I mean, like she's... I'm a very fast learner. She's about... She is. We did... I went down there with you and it was first day that she'd ever done power cleans in a watt, right? Yeah. And I was like, damn, she's good. I have a very like, um, fast processing like brain. I know that sounds... Do you do yoga too? Um, no, I danced and I mean, I like will go on do this too. Yes.

But I see her little numbers on her deadlift. She's very transparent. She even...

Sam Fischer (52:03.79)
tells people how many downloads, chats, or podcasts. I everything. And you know why? Because Brandy Leiber was talking about everything you see on the internet is so perfect and curated. I want people to know like there are steps to All I know is what was your, so let's just toss it to your transparent and brag because I'm proud of you. He thinks I brag. I'm just No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm proud of you. I see your deadlift numbers, dude. I a 205 or something. Yes. And it was like, like a month ago it was like 40 pounds less than that, right? Yeah. That's such a helper thing to say too. Like she's like,

Oh, he thinks I brag. And I think like when you do like coach people or help people in some way, you're always like emphasizing everyone else's wins. I know I literally hate it. And then like you don't always have those people to do that for you. And then you're like, hey, like. And like having conservative parents like my parents were always like, I'm not going to brag about you. Like that's just how. So it's super uncomfortable for me. Oh, yeah. My dad almost said it. Please don't talk about me. Another joke after repeat because again, people tune in, they tune out. But my dad, he say, ah.

I know. I showed him. I was a what happened was there was there was a like that's so accurate. It was campaigned the election magazine top 500 influence political influencers in America. And I was on the list. Wow. Oh, look at me. But anyway, it was when he was dying and I had a chance to talk. It was the very same conversation asking about what he did anyway.

I'm my mom let, but I showed him that and he just said, ah, he's just so frustrated. He's like, ah, I wish I knew what the hell you did so I could brag about you. Anyway. I love that though, but it is like a, it's just, you know, a generational difference. I feel like that. And so, you know, and that's like your parents, it's your norms. So it feels awkward. Yeah.

You're being quiet over here, Brandi. This is the quietest I've ever heard of Brandi in my entire life. Brandi is the person, she's the person that she'll critique my podcast and then I'll get like 50 texts like, yeah, but this, this, this, this, this, and she's like debating the person on the podcast. You need people like that in your lives. Oh my God. And she just, hold on, hold on. I can't get word in edgewise. And today she's not saying a word. No, I'm listening. This is really good. You're what happens when you get drained? Do you get drained when you help people a lot?

Sam Fischer (54:22.254)
Well, it depends. Like sometimes I feel like it's really overwhelming, but other times I feel like it's very fulfilling and I need that to fill my cup. Also, like I'm the person like I need to get out of my house. I need to talk to. I'm an introvert, but also like I can't sit in my house or I'm going to go crazy. You know, an ambivert.

I feel you on that. And I think like, I don't know if like your job, you work with people like all day long, but by the end of the day, I've probably like talked to hundreds of people. So I think it just like drains me a little faster. If I was at home, like I could totally see why you would feel Like I have to get out of the house or I'm gonna go crazy. And even if it's just like walk around Target or go to the car, like during COVID, it was like, can we just like go through the car wash? Because I cannot be in this house anymore. Like I need a change of scenery. So sometimes it's very fulfilling.

to be helping, but other times it can be draining if it's too much. I like too people -y for the day. The winter is really hard. I feel like the sunshine, that is like a cure to my soul. Hey, get alert. I recently, I track my sleep on Whoop. I know she sleeps too. It's very, very, yeah. She's terrible, but I have good sleep. But in January, when it was all cold and that, my...

My recovery sucked. I know. And it's directly related to the sunshine. There's no doubt about it. Go ahead. Yeah. We're all just big plants. We are big plants. Yes. Yeah. So like, just when it's nice out, like just potting plants or gardening or like being outside, like unplugging, like not having, like I'm going to spend a day and I'm not going to answer my phone. I'm not going to answer text messages. I'm not looking at Instagram and Facebook and all the things like.

That fills me up faster than anything. You just don't realize like how fast that stuff drains you. Even if you're just like casually scrolling, you know? Absolutely. So that's what I do. Yeah. Time with family and friends. And you know, critique my podcast. 50 texts in a chain. Thanks, dude. I had to learn the lesson of like accepting stuff like that. And I always would take it so personal. So I love that dynamic because I feel like everybody needs that. Yeah. So listen to mine and send me some.

Sam Fischer (56:29.42)
Yeah, Sam, I feel like it's not bad critiquing. Usually I'm agreeing with things. Huh? I know. Well, I wanted to talk about something else in the text, but you're still on this thing. She needed to finish her thought, okay? I'll get back to you next to tell you about why I'm a J -Sker. That's why I'm a J -Sker. Oh, God. Oh, you weren't here for that conversation. What is that? It's something I don't like. Oh, no. At all. It goes against every fiber of my being. That's what it is.

You're both has to be disloyal people and treasonous people. But anyway, she's like quarterback and I was like, I'm blacking out. I don't know what that means. That baseball. Right. Which one? It's terrible. We maybe have covered this, but I'm going to ask any what do helpers do when they need help? What do you do when you need help? Oh, my gosh. I'm the worst. When I need help. Well, I think something that Jillian mentioned is like.

Knowing when you're getting to that point of being like a little drained and like burnt out and I think that just comes with like age and maturity is knowing when you're getting there and not waiting till it's too late is very important. But when I need help, I just really go to like someone that I trust. I actually, Nissa sent me something really cool not too long ago. All I know is a guy on Instagram's name is like Steven, but he's like a public speaker and he's always got very like.

Fascinating. Furtick, Steven Furtick. No, not the pastor, but he's got some pretty good stuff too. But he said, he said something like when you're down or you, you need help, like him and his friends text each other and just say, Hey, do you have eight minutes? Because eight minutes of talking with a friend is like just as good as like counseling or something like that. And I. I need two. So. Yeah. Well, the man brain, am I right?

Something I realized, there's a couple people that I just always feel really good about myself after I talk with them. I feel better when I talk to them than before I talk to them. And it doesn't really matter what the topic is. It's Yeah, just like a safety net. And the speaker said, if we're having a hard time, I just text my friend and say, hey, do you have eight minutes? And they know that that's a phone call where they're just there on the other end to listen and support. And...

Sam Fischer (58:50.222)
if it's a tearful conversation, if he's crying or if he's angry or just needs to vent something, no matter how like minuscule the situation is or how serious it is, he just needs to talk about it. And like afterwards, you'll feel so much better just like talking about that. So I have like a couple of really like close friends in my circle that like I know I could probably, honestly, it happened like two weeks ago. One of my best friends, like somehow the topic, before 8 a .m., I don't know how we got on such a serious topic, but.

It was literally like, I was like brushing my teeth. And then I received a text from her and she was like, Hey, I just like ran across my heart that I feel like I should ask you like how you're doing. And I was like, man, that's like a, that was like an answered prayer that I needed. Cause like a couple of days prior to that, I'm like, man, I don't know if I should like talk to anyone about this or just keep it to myself. And when she asked me that I was like, yeah, I actually really.

need to talk to someone and she's like, I'll make time in my day. Let me know when you have time. And she came over and like it was like one of the best, nicest things anyone's ever done for me ever. And like to literally drop everything in her day to just hear me like talk about something that was on my heart. I was like, man. So just like having those like couple of people in your circle and just talking. Well, I'm like to have her reach out and say, like, I'm going to come over instead of like, well, I'm here if you need me. Yes. It's like impossible to like.

Like, well, this is what I need. And sometimes we don't even know what we need. Right. And so for her to like be there, it's like, this is exactly what I needed. That was I mean, I literally couldn't tell you. Like, it gives me goosebumps because I literally like had like I'm not much of like a prayer prayer, but like I feel like a spiritual prayers get answered, like even if you're not necessarily like intentionally praying for it. And I remembered being very conflicted about like sharing something that was on my heart. And like when she asked me that, I'm like, I've been friends with her for years and she's never like asked me anything like.

Oh, that gives me. Yeah. I mean, really, like I it was a perfect timing. And I was like, yeah, if you have time around noon today, she's like, I'm on my way after my group meeting and I'll be there. And she showed up and just sat there and listened to me for like 20 minutes. Just talk and cry. And it was the most relieving thing. I think I felt like I got years off my chest right there. And there was a question earlier that was like, how do you find people to help? And I wrote down, honestly, it's a God thing. And I feel like.

Sam Fischer (01:01:14.414)
that is like your friend just had like an intuitive feeling to reach out like and sometimes we're just put on each other's paths for a specific reason and there's no other way to explain it other than like it's a God thing. Yeah. Yeah. She was just there at the right time. Oh yeah. I remember it actually now like what got us in the conversation like somehow like I said it was before 8 a .m. I struggled really badly with like depression and like suicidal thoughts like not last year but like the year prior to that and it was like really bad to the point that I was on medication and.

you know, seeking therapy and things like that. But I never talked about it with anybody. And I think that was the worst thing I could have done. I got through it and I'm, you know, got off medication. I feel really good now. I'm in a really good place. But she didn't know that either. And we were like best friends during that time. And when I told her that, she's like, I can't believe I didn't notice. Like, I feel so bad about that. And then she was like, do you want to talk about any of it? And I was like, honestly, yeah. And, you know, she showed up and just showing up for people is.

And like being a helper, I feel like those conversations are really hard too, right? Because we're the ones that like bring people up. And so if we talk to somebody else about what we're struggling with, it like brings them down. Right. Like we don't want to be that person that's like the Debbie Downer. Right. I'll feel like a bourbon. Well, like my like nickname at the gym when I first started, there was Joy Girl. Like people just when they see me, I'm smiling and I'm bubbly. Right. Even when I'm like hurting, I'm.

I am like my smile is not fake, but like there's still things going on. And so it's hard to like, I don't want people to see me in a different way if they're like, so are you faking it when you're happy or is this real? Have you seen that? Like recently I just shared it was like a men's mental health video, but it was like these two guys at like a sporting event. Have you guys seen that video? And it was like, there's this one that was just a very matter of fact and he was just sitting there and it was like men's mental health whole time. And then his friend just was coming in and it was like,

What's wrong with you, man? And he was just very like energetic, whatever. And it showed like a few different games, them coming back. And it was like the energized friend who took his life and not the one that it thought that you were like looking at this sad, depressed one. But then he they came back and that was the one. And it was like the this thing for mental health. And I think that's I mean, that was like my thing. I was like the perfect high school kid. No one had any idea. And everything was great. But that's a lot of that, you know.

Sam Fischer (01:03:37.998)
We hide because we know. Yeah. I don't want to be those kids. Like people say, I never would have thought they would. Yeah. Yep. I, uh, this, the episode is up. I hope you all listen to the episode is up this week because, uh, I talked to a comedian that deals with this and I've never had someone tell me that most of my life, the majority of my life, every day I woke up hoping this would be the day that I died. I, holy shit.

I can't relate to that. What this makes me think about is kind of how we were talking about how curated everything that we are seeing, you know, and even our interactions. I think like the power of an actual relationship with people is so like overlooked because we think we know people because we see what they're doing and all this stuff. But like you have to really get to know people and be in like a very shared, vulnerable space friendship.

to kind of have that and to just, in my friend group it's the same thing. So when you were talking about like having those people in place and we do in our friend group pulse check and that's what you say. Like you haven't heard from somebody in a while, maybe you think something's going on with them and you just send a pulse check and that's what you say. It's like, okay, you're not acting how like you normally are. I haven't really heard from you or whatever in a while. And...

That's just what we kind of say. And I swear every single time I'm like, Oh, do I say something? Do I not? Do I open up? I will get a pulse check like in my message. Wow. I love that. Yep. So I just, I think like in it is it's so vulnerable to have real relationships with real people in, in our day and age. Like it's just, you don't.

and learning how to navigate that and learning how to show up for people and am I overstepping or am I blah blah blah. And I just like a good friend and I had like, you know, we needed to have a moment where we were had a hard conversation with each other. And I remember being like, no, we are friends. We talk to each other like this. There's none of this like pleasantry or I don't want to do this or I don't want to overstep. No. When you're friends with people, you show up for them.

Sam Fischer (01:05:54.446)
And maybe it's awkward and maybe you might overstep or whatever, but like you will repair because you are in a relationship. So I think like having actual friends is like a thing and you have to be very purposeful with that because you just can't, there's no replacement for it. For someone saying, hey, haven't heard from you. Are you okay? Pulse check, whatever you want to call it, but you can't do that with the internet and you can't do that without vulnerability.

You know? Yeah, and I think like, I don't know if you guys think this too, but I feel like people think it's like, maybe like cool to be really guarded about the emotions and things. Yes! And I think when you're not open about it, like that conversation opened up so many things, like years of things that we hadn't talked about too. And I think like when you're open, vulnerability breeds vulnerability, you know? It's like, you open up this new vessel of trust and relationship building, like you said. It's...

It just takes so much more energy to be so guarded and closed off from people than to just share something with them, you know, an important conversation or an important topic. Yeah. And that friend might be going through something, too. And like that conversation was probably equally beneficial for that friend. Right. Like think about like when we're helping people and how like helping fills our cup. Right. Like helping probably filled your friend's cup, too. Yeah. You know. And so we have to like remember like our hardships are not burdens for other people like.

allowing them to help us and us helping them, like, that's what we're here for. Like, interpersonal relationships is like human nature. And I feel like we lose that in today's society, right? Like we're not getting that out of texting, right? Like versus like even just a phone call or meeting in person, like we need that. Yeah, absolutely. And it just like, it just builds so much more trust and like openness. And even if the conversation, like you said, it's like a tough conversation, like I would,

much rather someone bring something to my attention, even if it's something I'm doing wrong. Cause like after we leave that conversation, I'm going to feel a lot better because the tension's no longer there. Like it clears a lot of tension as well. Yeah, totally. Gosh. Okay. Try and breathe over here. Jesus Christ. Holding his breath the whole entire time. He's like turning blue. The last two podcasts have been left on Sam. He's like, whoa, holy shit. Are you softening in your old age? Nothing. He's like, no. Yeah, you're doing great.

Sam Fischer (01:08:21.997)
So something that recently came up in one of your social medias, I think one of you two, I'm not sure. But did you answer your question? Did you answer the question? I don't think so. I'm running over the top of her. I'm trying to shut up. What do you do when you need help, Brandi Preston? I want to hear this. What do I do when I need help? Did I even answer this? I'm just yapping. You answer first. I don't know how to answer this. I think you went one, two, three. What did I say?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think similar. Like when I need help, like I'll reach out to a friend. Like last week, I, you know, just, I was like by myself and I was like, I just need like somebody, right? And I was reached out to my friend Audra and I was like, are you around for dinner tonight? Like, let's go to dinner, you know? And it was just like exactly what I needed. Like I wasn't in a dark place. It was just like.

who still needs connection. Scott's flying and Peyton's with his dad and I'm just here and I just need somebody that's my person. Human Yeah. And so it was just like, hey, can I come pick you up? Let's go to dinner. And it was like great conversation. It was like, that fills your cup. And sometimes we just need that.

I don't think I did answer this because I have no answer. I'm very bad. If I need help, I just will journal and figure it out. I mean, that's a way of I'm not like very great at being like, I'm struggling right now. That's something I'm working on, but I'm not good at. I'm not good at that. Maybe this is your challenge that I know I'm like, I need to be better. Pulse check with myself. I know I'm going to answer because there's a tough question. Sam, what do you do? Sam, what do you do when you need help?

I talk to Brie or I'll talk to Jill or I'll talk to Brandy. Oh wow. Look at that. Actually, I'll talk to her. The truth of the matter is I'll talk to my wife first. I think we can all find some solace in talking to your wife. I the best guidance counselor you'll ever find. But I have my little army of people. I like different perspectives that at my table. I posted something about.

Sam Fischer (01:10:38.606)
people sitting at your table. Yeah, yeah. And intentionally, you know, they're sitting at your table for a reason. And there's some people that aren't invited to your table. You are invited to my table. That's what I would.

I just don't even know how to say it. Heather's so good. Like she's such a confidant, you know, like whatever you tell her is not going to like get out. You you're not. It's not like she's like a common. Yeah, I was going to say, too. I love like I gravitate towards like people with that like persona. Yeah, I'm such like, you know, like when you're up here, you meet other. Yes. So I love when people are so calm. Bless her, Gina. We love you, but you're spazzing. You'll admit it. Yeah, I like that. All right.

Gina just like, how are you so calm? Like, how, you like, just take And it's so centering. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, she is. She's... I feel like I'm getting that from you. Yes, absolutely. You're like an angel. I know. I'm like, I just want to touch my shoulder to her shoulder. Maybe I will like put a calming like radiation. Like her aura. Yeah. Sometimes I can get really fired up though. And when I do, it's like, look out. That's even more awesome.

Yeah, Heather, same way I've had. Yeah, it's been 31 years, but she did throw a shoe at me once. What's like the one thing that I wanted that really fired up where you're like, don't even get me started. Out of character. Yeah, no, I'll totally like I'll yell. I'll be not very nice, which I'm not proud of all the time, but I feel like it gets like pointy. People are like, oh, boy. We're like over here. We're like, yeah, keep going. I know. Like, show us your bad side. And there was just this week.

a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and they were like, you know, here's the group of doctors that are going to be in this multidisciplinary meeting and this one oncologist is awful. And I was like, absolutely not. And I like went on a tirade. Yes, you did. And I don't feel that, you know, and I don't feel bad about it. So it's like, know, sometimes there's things that need to be said. And this is how I feel. And, you know, I'll tell you if.

Sam Fischer (01:12:42.798)
okay or you know whatever this person's really good you have a really good team but this one absolutely not. Should kick that person the hell off? Uh -huh. Good. That's why we need that. So this oncologist will be in the meeting on Tuesday but she I said we can take what she has to say but she absolutely will not be your oncologist and that has been made clear to the other providers that are on her team that this one will not be part of it but we need a consultation. Just changing lives man.

Do you feel like there's like more like good oncologists than bad or vice versa? And I'm only asking because I had a conversation with someone at the gym today about it and he works in medical sales and was not super positive about oncology. Yeah, so I'm in a similar field and I won't narrow. I mean, we have a pretty small oncology network in Omaha.

So I don't want to narrow it down to specifically oncologists, but I would say the list of providers that I would give you that are good health care providers is a lot smaller than the bad ones. There's a lot more people I would say don't go to versus the ones I would say absolutely this one's amazing go to this person. And we have we are very blessed. We have a lot of good health care providers here, but there are definitely some that are in it for money or that's what I was going to ask is like, what do you think separates the good from the bad? So much work to make a lot of money.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I know the best neurologist in town. I do too. John Puente all day long. He'll love this because he listens to this podcast. Yeah. And you know what? Speaking of him, like he is one that really actually cares about people. So I work in, you know, cancer and prenatal and he's a neurologist. Right. So like not often are those things crossing paths. Right. And he'll be like, text me like, hey, I had a patient with this family history. Should they have genetic testing? And.

He'll help connect that person to that. Right. And that's not his specialty. Right. Like that is not what that patient is there for. But he it's about the wellness of that patient in front of him. And I think that that's really what separates the good providers from the not so good. It's like the willingness to also refer out of their fields. Yes. And there's so many that are like, this is my job and this is all that I'm going to do. And I think our.

Sam Fischer (01:14:55.31)
our society has kind of bred that culture too with like, you know, litigation. I'm responsible for this. Yep. Yep. Nobody wants to, you know, take the extra step because then they could be liable for taking that extra step. Right. But I think we need more of, of that, like people that are like comprehensive and are going to work together. Yes. Yeah. Because that's definitely a barrier. So. Well, and especially cause it's like, it's like the human body, like it doesn't work as separate parts. Like it's symbiotic in a way, like in crazy ways. So, um,

going to several different providers for us, different things could get you completely different answers. That's why I want to do a collaborative because I don't have the time or nobody has the money or I don't have the money. Nobody has the time. I want, I want you and I want Casper Bauer and I want Simons in on this now too, since he was bitching. I mean, I wasn't lifting up weight the other day. He told me that.

And I want my freaking, I want my stretch person there. And I want my chiropractor there. And I want Dr. Devon there, my PT there. All you damn people in one room. And I'm just, I'm gonna run this damn meeting. Give me the once over team. Give me the once over team. You better have about two hours on your. I'm gonna give them the once over. Oh, look out. I mean, there's just, because. So many moving parts. I mean.

I am a mess. I when you need, I am a mess. Like when you need to like this week, you like, I need to like use the handrails to get up and downstairs. Okay. Um, I'm a mess. Which is like so awesome too. Actually all of you do. Cause I, I have quiz. I actually, Christian actually said something the other day. I said, I go, how do you, how do you feel? He came right in the gym and I said, are you sore Christian? He goes, I'm very sore. I'm like, that's good Christian. I mean, cause it's like we're all sore.

But anyway. No, that would be like a really, that would be a really cool collab because well, obviously Ben Kyle and I. Their volumes could be written. Yes. Ben Kyle and I obviously like work together. We have a lot of like very, we're passionate about a lot of the same things. But like even with like Devin and things like that, like we all have the same like, we're all like on the same page a lot without even realizing it. So I think that's it. Well, I don't, did you know?

Sam Fischer (01:17:15.47)
Did you know, Devon listens to the podcast, I wonder if it's okay to say, yeah, it's okay. I'm the patient. I'm not violating anything. Um, Devon wanted me to like take a day off, like to take a day off of the, I mean like go from four workouts a week to three. And I did that for a while. Did you know that? Well, I don't think she can actually share that with me.

Like, I don't think she can technically share that with Like, did you notice? Oh, no, I never told you, so why would you know? That's why I need a frickin' collaborative. You told me understands why Sam's gone to the gym on Wednesdays because I've frickin' taken the day off. Good for you. Now we're getting all excited here. Okay. Next question. Moving on to the next question. One of you two, I think one of you two had something about a force multiplier. We were talking about a force multiplier the other day on social media. I more information about that. What?

Do you know what it is? A force multiplier. What was like meaning? I think, I don't know. I thought you'd tell me. I don't know what it is. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, did you have some of a force multiplier the other day? What was it? Like, what was the subject on? Well, it's basically kind of what we've talked. I think the answer is kind of what we've talked about in the sense that we're all walking each other home, Jillian wants. False multiplier. I thought, I thought. False or force? Force. I don't think so. Was it like a story?

Yeah, it was like an IG story I saw or something. Okay. So kids, you post stuff about it, you don't really know what you're talking about or you don't remember it. Being a force multiplier on your team means having a positive impact that amplifies the efforts of others and enhances the overall performance. It's like, we is greater than me. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about being a force multiplier. What do you think? Oh, that's good. Yeah. Take it away. Oh, okay.

Um, yeah, it was your post. So, it wasn't my post. I just Googled it right now and told you what it was. Oh, yeah. So, anyway, I can take this. That's good. Well, that's what I kind of wrote about. So, it just, so the whole thing, what it made me think of is the we is greater than me. What Bri was talking about vulnerability breeds vulnerability. When you let your own light shine, it lets everybody do that. Um,

Sam Fischer (01:19:30.766)
of some of the topics that I talk about on my podcast are kind of living in that vulnerability and like in your lifestyle. And what's been crazy to me with that is I've had so much feedback from people like, thank you so much for talking about this or oh my gosh, or whatever it is. And I think it's like we've been talking about if you are living in this way. And I think as a teacher, I've always thought about this because I'm such like,

a role model like at all times. You're always, no matter what you're doing, people are watching you and people are taking that in. I post these reels that will get 2 ,000 views and three likes. And so that always just reminds me, people are always observing, they're always watching. You are always a role model, how you're moving through life. And that's what that...

being a force multiplier is like if you are gonna go out there and be whatever you're gonna be the people around you or your audience or whatever it is there, like it's gonna amplify. And it's not just like one and one is two, it's like one and one is like five. It's a ripple effect on us. Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking in my head was the ripple effect. Yeah. Well, I'm reading a book about, I'm fascinated by heaven if you haven't listened to my podcast lately, but I'm reading a really, really good book about it.

you this book. Anyway, I haven't got to this part yet, but I've been told one of the reasons I got the book was that this is a book about near -death experiences. This guy has spent 40 years studying thousands and thousands of near -death experiences. So people that basically are unconscious for a second or two minutes or whatever, they come back to life.

and what happened, what they see. And so it's all documented. And one of the things was that this guy had, there's a lot of life reviews. So it's basically, it's a story. It's just very easy. It's like a four or five paragraph story. And then there's like a devotional prayer that relates to her. And they hook it up to the Bible. Sorry, but they hook it up to the Bible. I'm not sorry. They hook it up to the Bible. But one of the things is the guy had a review.

Sam Fischer (01:21:47.022)
And what he saw was one act of kindness that he did for this particular person and the force multiplier effect. And he saw every single person that that affected, you know, and it's like thousands, there's like thousands of people that he saw. That's just. Yeah. Yeah. Like when someone buys you a drink in Starbucks, it just keeps going and going and going. Yeah. But anyway, yeah.

Force multiplier. So being a helper, thank you for being a force multiplier. I mean, that's what you guys are doing. Well, not even just like, like specific helpers, like if your field is a helper, but like I use the ripple effect a lot in the gym of like the members, like you're working on yourself when you come to the gym, but people fail to realize like how much it impacts those around them. And then it impacts other people. Like you going to the gym or being consistent with your health is probably impacting hundreds to thousands of people without you realizing it. Like,

Yeah, you know you're sometimes it can be frustrating for people who do put their health at a forefront that maybe their family doesn't and then they might get frustrated when they're at like family things and um, you know, maybe they like there's their parents are smoking or things like that But it's like you don't always see the small things that people do because of you like maybe you were like

in their head when they were at work and they decided to skip having a cupcake on the break table and they decided to eat the lunch they brought. And then their coworkers might do the same thing where, most recently there was someone at the gym that limited his drinking, stopped drinking, and he said his kids stopped drinking pop too. He wasn't just giving up alcohol, he gave up pop, and then his kids weren't drinking pop, and his wife, he realized, only drank when he drank. And so when he stopped, she stopped drinking.

Yeah. And so it's like those things that like really matter to with just like everybody. I mean, there are effects everywhere. Yeah. A lot of millennials are like going sober, too. Yeah, I feel like that's becoming a big thing. I feel like we're going to see a big like influx of our generation who doesn't like drink. You guys talked about a little bit, but I'm interested to know what's the biggest challenge of being a woman in your 30s these days? Because I'm a man in my 50s. We hear about those challenges all the time.

Sam Fischer (01:24:03.342)
What's it like being a woman in your 30s these days? Brandi, you want to start? Yeah, Brandi, you start. Oh, I feel like our society now likes to pigeonhole people into like victimhood. And it would be really easy to be a victim of whatever the circumstances. Right. And so I think like being like, no, I'm not I'm not a victim of being a woman like, oh, but what about the pay gap or what about the

What about the, I make more than my male counterparts because I work harder than they do, you know? I just feel like we don't have to be victims of whatever circumstance that we're in and society kind of, I don't know, I feel like this day and age, it's very easy to be. Leading people. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that's a good one or not. Yeah. No, that's great. Very good. Yeah. Very good. Let's see the challenges. I've never seen Jill watch another to say this is awesome.

The challenge of being a woman in their thirties. Gosh, I feel like there's actually like quite a quite a bit. Like, I definitely say like just being in like my field of like fitness and like social media is. Oh, man, I feel like I don't know how to get started on this. Like what people see on the Internet just isn't real. Like people that like you want to look like or you want to be like, like they don't even look like themselves. I mean, Photoshop is insane.

AI is scary and sane. And yeah, you just like people portray things that they want you to see. I mean, right. You know, like even with like body image and things like that, like we grew up in a really terrible time for any type of like, I mean, it's like the worst role models. Like there was literally heroin. She was like.

Actually a fashion like a style it was heroin cheek. You were so skinny You look like you were on drugs and that was any of you guys ever think that was actually attractive. Yes Yeah, I had like a thin inspiration journal and I had like Kate. Thanks for writing. I hated my body inspirational journal Holy shit. Yeah, do you think Kate Moss was hot now you see? I personally was like

Sam Fischer (01:26:12.686)
I'm never gonna be cute because I'm not built like that. Yes. I'm what they call slim, thick now, which is really cute now. Welcome to the club. Yeah, very cute now. And thank God for that. But I was like, there's no I'm never going to be able to be like attractive. Like that's how I felt growing up because I just didn't look like that. So there's just like a lot of things that we grew up with that like the like famous people like.

what they were, their bodies. All these adult women looked like children because they were so small and represented that way. And now we're getting into social media and Instagram and stuff. And obviously, I work with clients who want to look different most of the time and they share these photos with me. And I'm like, I can see the Photoshop in this photo. That person you want to look like doesn't even look like that. They still have... And it's like, you have to be so careful because there's pages that they...

claim to show off their flaws and stuff and they're still Photoshopping their photos. And I'm like, this girl who's showing off her cellulite is still snatching her waist. So it's not real. And you just have to be really careful and take things with a grain of salt and also understanding that lighting, even if you're not Photoshopping, lighting and posing makes a huge difference. So it's like, we see these photos in Africa. Like I, like,

women there, like when they're bigger, it's actually like beautiful. I was just gonna say, we can thank black culture for the fact that having like a big butt is cool. But now it's like white people trying to do that. And you come to America where it's like all the things we're offered. It is, they're getting surgeries that literally are fatal. Like it's insane. With surgery too, you don't know, like, I mean, it's like you are.

bringing up someone who has fake lips, like fake boobs, nothing against that, but it's like, you don't think they've had other surgeries to make them thinner. Like you have to take these things into consideration. And it's like, in America, we're told like, you need to look a certain way, be a certain way, like in your thirties, like you should already have your shit figured out or have kids or be married and stuff. And it's like, I'm like, team cats, no kids, let's go. Lots of kids, no cats, thank you. But it's like, we're like told to like, look like a certain way or,

Sam Fischer (01:28:26.606)
you know, we should already be like established in our career or whatever. It's like we should, should, should. And it's like, no one should be anything but happy. And if you're happy where you're at, but like the only way to be that way is to like stop comparing yourself to people who have things that you don't. For sure. Oh, I love that. So anyways, mic drop, moving on. That was so good. Okay, mine, okay, biggest challenge for women in the, I think, I think, I feel whatever.

that we have this weird dynamic of being raised with very traditional, probably, gender roles that we, they're programmed in our brains as being what's normal, but we actually exist in a time where we're like trying to quote unquote get rid of them.

I feel like the biggest struggle for me being in my 30s is, I don't know if you guys look into masculine and feminine energies, but that I guess, which can be that traditional dynamic, but I think a lot of what I struggle with at my age is having to one, embody both of those roles and responsibilities.

And don't get me wrong, I am a business owner, I am a single parent. I love all of that, I love the empowerment. But with that, it's harder because life was not designed to do by yourself. So it is harder. I don't ever want to glorify being divorced, being a single parent, having a kid on your own. I don't wanna glorify that because it's so much harder. If you're like, wow, you're so strong. Well, because I had to do it, what was I gonna do? Just sit here and be like.

Wallowing in it. Yes. I was forced into that. I'm grateful that I'm in a country where I can own a business, where I can do all of this stuff. But I was just talking the other day, like I yearn for a safe place to land. I love my life. I'm proud of myself. I have so many great relationships, but I don't want us. I feel like I'm sorry to be emotional. Being our age is hard because we're trying to live in what we grew up with.

Sam Fischer (01:30:40.75)
what is now and then who are we? Like what is your identity? And that's why people like, you know, your identity is so much in like, what do you do or how do you show up or, you know, I'm a mom or I'm this or I'm not, but it's just like at the end of the day, like we're all, like you said, Bri, the whole point is just to be like happy and peaceful with what you're doing. And so I think the hardest part is to be so, or like the victimhood, like you were saying, Brandy, like.

It just, everything is so kind of like shoved down your throat on like how you're supposed to be or how you're supposed to show up or this is what makes a good mom or this is, you know, like, oh, your kids are from a one parent family or oh, but oh, you're a strong single mom and oh my gosh, you look at you. How do you work out all day?

Like literally anything I have is because I worked my ass off for it and I decided to do it. Like I'm just not, I'm no different than anybody else, but it's definitely being this age in this time period is hard because there's so many, like this is what you should be doing. This is how you should be doing it. And then that like polarized dynamic of how we grew up with how life is now. And then obviously the ideals that we have for our life and then what our life is actually doing.

usually don't ever like line up, which is like fine because we're all like on a journey and we're learning and I'm grateful for everything in my life, but I think it's really hard to just be a person. For me personally, I'm so tired of hearing people just that want to piss in my Cheerios. Like I'm living how I'm living. I'm sorry if you're offended. I'm sorry if you feel insecure about what I'm doing, but like I hope to, but I really, from the bottom of my helper heart,

I want you to be empowered by watching what I'm doing to show you like, if I can do this and create this beautiful whatever I'm making, like you also can. And you have to get rid of all the programming, the social media, the victimhood, the all of it. Like it's just there to keep you down. And if you don't have your discernment about you to stand on your own two feet and stand on your square about the life you're creating.

Sam Fischer (01:32:53.998)
you're like you're going to fall into it. And so that's the hardest part is that like I'm tired of just hearing people like and it's not like anyone says you can't do it. But it's just like I go to start a podcast and like it's just crickets for people because it's like they want you to be successful. Do they? Or are they kind of like living in their own like regret of what they want to do, but they don't have the like gumption to do it? Yeah.

because they've been fed that they're a victim. Okay, I could be too, like, yo, I was on welfare. What do you want me to tell you? I'm not now. Like, figure it out. I can figure it out. You can figure it out. Yes. And it's nothing but me making decisions. So I'm divorced too. And one thing when I started dating after my divorce, it was like, I'm very strong. I'm independent. I tend to put other people before myself. And I felt myself like feeling like,

guilty, but I was like, I want someone who opens my car door. I someone who picks up the dinner bill. I can afford paying my own dinner bill, but like I want to be not have to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And like chivalry is something that I still want. Right. And I feel like that's something in society like what the gender roles. It's like, oh, we should, you know, like, like, let's stop.

demasculinizing men. Like, let's make men mean that. Yes, there was an episode of the emasculation of men. But also men, please heal your traumas. Okay. Right, right. We're trying. Yes. But we have to open up the vulnerability. It's very hard for us. It is such a nuanced dynamic, but you're right. It's hard, especially for me, like, I'm newly like single again, but I, it's the same thing. I don't like, I know it's like a lot. Okay. I know it's a lot.

But I don't want to be masculine everywhere. Yes. And I think respecting like any woman, but respecting a strong woman while still creating space for them to not be masculine all the time is where a lot of like women our age, I think, are get kind of like tripped up a little bit. Yeah. Or for like men or other people like observing or taking that in. It's kind of like, OK, well, if.

Sam Fischer (01:35:09.838)
she is like XYZ, then like that's her role. But it's kind of like, we're in that weird diet, like push and pull of our age, of our generation, of what society is doing right now. Where do we stand? What is my identity? Well, I am a strong woman who now thanks to women's rights, has to work outside the home. And I'm so happy to do it, love it. But also like, I can't also be a bro and a gal at the same time. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's like not the worst thing to like,

want to be taken care of. I don't know why people make that seem like it's a weakness. Right, they take away from your independence as a woman because you want that? It's like, no, your feelings are hurt and you're probably emasculated right now. And so admitting that a woman can be standing on her square while also accepting help or love. And I think that's where we get tripped up too. It's like, we are helpers. We are the nurturing.

Um, whatever it is, but then how and where do we like create that space in our lives where we can comfortably be feminine as we say, or be helped? Well, it was like a good perspective that you said too, is like you are searching for that like safe place to land and it's like, and you talked about that earlier. What something you said made me think about that, like having that area. Oh, like where like, like when I like wasn't helped.

Yes. And that's like how we can help her. Yeah. I think it's like a really good perspective because I think when people like women do go through things like what you went through, like divorces for both of you and how it's like a scary place, like especially having four kids. Like I feel like it's hard to live by myself and I'm single with no kids. You know what I mean? Like this world just doesn't really set you up in a way that like you can easily be like successful or comfortable alone. And I think it's like good to share those struggles too. Like.

Obviously you don't want to just like find someone to like help you with stability and financially, but like it also isn't like the worst place to be like, Hey, this actually like is really hard and it really sucks. Like I would much rather be like, I didn't want my marriage to not work out. So that's a very good perspective. Before you die, what will you, what will be your ideal impact that you will have had on the world? What is your legacy? What do you want your legacy to be?

Sam Fischer (01:37:30.83)
I'll go first. So I just, so I'm a mom to a soon to be 11 year old boy, Peyton. And I want to be known first and foremost as like Peyton's mom and like raising a really great human, you know, like he's been dealing with bullies and I look at the parents are bullies and the kids are bullies. And like, I want to like look at him and be like, this is, I have left the world a better place because of who I've left behind in it. Right. Now, as far as like my personal, like,

in my own legacy, I just want people to know what the risk of cancer is and be able to do something about it and not have to go through what my mom went through, right? And if I can make an impact like Henry Lynch or somebody has made, he's like my hero, he's from Omaha. Lynch syndrome. Lynch syndrome is named after him. Something Lynch, huh? Dr. Henry Lynch, yeah, oh yeah. Sam's hero is a Lynch too. Yeah, George didn't even pick up on it. George Lynch. Yeah, I knew yours, but. Yeah, Henry Lynch.

just an incredible human. So if we leave the world a better place than when we came, you know, or if we helped kind of fix something that was wrong in the world, then I think that's an amazing footprint we can leave. Absolutely. Go ahead, Jillian. Great. Okay. I would say too that my, I'm in this weird like balance of like not sharing a lot about my kids and trying to like,

guard them because I do so much that's out there. So I'm in this weird wax and wane kind of with that. But I like that my children are why I do everything I do, the decisions that I make, the person that I am, why I go after everything. I took my boys to the gym this morning and they were like, go mom, go mom. And then started doing sit -ups. Awesome, Jill. And just getting, and I really like.

And it's just maybe like a unique way, but I really just am trying to like live so that my kids have like a blueprint on like how to like live and get the most out of life. And so that like my legacy is just, you know, like there's four of them. That's a lot of like rippling out into the world. And it's not, that's not lost on me. Like in any moment, I'm always like, my kids are watching, my kids are watching.

Sam Fischer (01:39:46.958)
I can't lose my temper, my kids are watching. Just all that stuff, it's like a good guiding light. But other than that, it's just, I'm kind of just leaning into the flow of life right now. And so my big legacy is just being a good person and hopefully giving people permission to live well and live with more depth by watching my example.

Awesome. Okay. Great. Thanks. Yeah. And just like talking about kids, like they're less likely to do what we say they do it. We do. So that's great for both of you. Well, like just from like work and then personal, like at the gym, like one of our like, like mottos is to prevent and reverse chronic disease through fitness. And I would like to.

leave the world a better place through health and fitness and CrossFit and just, I like with my job, like I always try to think like, how can I help as many people as possible? Obviously like I'm just like one person, but we have like a whole team at the gym and I would just like to influence people and know that like I made an impact on like, okay, maybe I helped like hundreds of people in our gym, but then they helped other people and they like, because of that, like after I die, like their family, you know, like they changed the way that.

they live their lives so that their kids grow up to be healthier and then their kids as kids and things like that. So career wise, like that's how I would like to leave the world a better place is just, you know, forging fitness and reversing or preventing chronic disease before you have to reverse it, you know? And then like personally, like my word for this year was serendipitous where like serendipity is kind of like, uh,

I don't know if you like divine intervention, maybe like where something good just kind of like happens upon you. But my perspective of that is like making the good out of every situation. Like you find the good in that. And I want people to like think about me like I left the room feeling better because she was in it and she was a light in the room at that time. And that's how I love it. And your word happened. Yeah. Did you have a word for the year? Trust.

Sam Fischer (01:42:08.398)
Okay, that's a good one. That's a good one. Not good at all. Mine was enjoy. Oh, that's so good. it was, I mean, talking about our conversation earlier, like when I can be a real bitch too, it's when I left my other job, I was like, had all these problems and nobody wanted to fix them or do anything. And then I left it and I'm just like, enjoy. Enjoy the mess. Enjoy the shit show. Yeah, that's a good perspective. But also like, really? back on it and forward. Yes. Yep, yep. So like,

And things are still like that ripple effect. Like my old customers will say something and I'm just like, enjoy. Yeah, enjoy. Godspeed on your journey. Thank you. Yeah. Enjoy. Love it. To my old boss. But but really like in front and then, you know, in the positive light is finding joy and even the little things, right? Like in the car, just enjoying the music that's on the radio, enjoying the sunshine, enjoying the presence, being present, being present in the.

Well, my three words were more chunk plays and I had a huge chunk play. What does that mean? Oh, sorry. It's a football term. Chunk play is like when you're trying to advance the ball, dude, like try and go down the field. I took greener for the first football game this fall. It's like advancing the ball and you're like trying to get a big, like big chunk of yardage instead of like little like, like a big win, like a big chunk. More chunk plays. So thanks for.

for a chunk play like a little bit more of like a launch? Well, no, you're trying to gain, you gain a lot of ground in a short amount of time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Efficiency. Yeah. Great. Good chunk play today. I'm going to do something I don't normally do, and that is, do you guys have any questions for me before we wrap this up? Oh my gosh. Because you've been so vulnerable. Yeah, what do you want? I think, think, I think we all cried. I have one. Yeah. I cried at something when you were like talking about,

at the very beginning, like the diet coaching, I just like started, I don't know why I'm like, she's so passionate about this and I love it. Like, I don't really even know what you're saying, but I love it so much. be so long if I'm crying at this right now. No, I love that. I have a question. Yes. What is your, how do you want to leave the world when you're gone?

Sam Fischer (01:44:29.806)
I want people to think that that guy worked his ass off and that guy never took a shortcut. I love that. I want somebody to think that guy never took any shortcuts. And you always like...

I worked for Sam and he always did things with such integrity, you know, when in a business that, you know, is not known for integrity, Sam always did things the right way. You know, you weren't a cheat. You didn't lie. You just I know everything was such integrity. And like that was one thing I really took away from working for Sam was.

you know, here was a guy that was very successful, but he got to where he was by working hard, grinding it out, and really doing it the right way. And that left a huge impression. Thank you. Man, but it's still not business. Maybe sell some. Well, if you need to buy a house, I know girls, so. All right. Any other questions Brandi bringing? Mm -hmm. You have it. Go ahead. Serve it up. I'm terrible at questions. My question is actually to the girls.

How has Sam helped you?

Sam Fischer (01:45:49.196)
I gotta hold off. Did you have one? Well, like kind of what I said, I mean, guided my career for sure, but he was always there. Like, so I had my son when I was 21, like not planned. Yeah. And it was not my family was not supportive. Like it was just not good. And when Sam found out, he was just like, what can we do? Like, shut up with, you know.

all sorts of things that I needed. She a lot of big sweaters for a long time. I didn't know diddly -shed. I was like knocking doors. You were like eight months along. He's like, you're pregnant? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, you're having a baby next week? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, she's out knocking, like we gotta go, we gotta, you know, we were hired to go knock on doors. Like, you know, you and Heather go out and knock on doors. I know I guess she's pregnant. Yeah. Well, I mean, I can see how people I was happy to do it, but like.

Just he's always, he's always, always been there no matter what. So like professionally, he was a really great mentor and a great friend. But like I've always said, like Sam's like been like another dad to me because he was just, and like when I didn't believe in myself, like Sam always believed in me. So. Oh, I get that like cry where if I see you do it, I'm gonna do it. I know I'm like, it's like yawning. It changes the pressure in the room or something.

I would say, so in my family, there's this very interesting dynamic where you just are quiet and respect the older people and you never question them. And then there's not a lot of nobody. So, ugh, I need to get my life together here. I don't have any role models of people really at all.

I've never.

Sam Fischer (01:47:38.286)
had somebody older than me see something in me and speak it until Sam did.

Sam Fischer (01:47:50.158)
We're all crying, this is so emotional. And I'm such like, so I'm an only child, so I grew up liking that validation, but I just never really got it. And it's nothing that I blame my parents for or anything like that, because it's just how my life has happened. But even in my career, in everything I've done, nobody has really ever helped me.

And they say like in my, so I'm like a certified principal teacher. Everyone's like, you're gonna get shoulder tapped. I've never been that person. I'm never a person that someone's gonna be like, oh my gosh, you're doing so great. That's just never been my existence. Everything that I've had has not been a shortcut. So that's why I really love what you said, Sam, about that. Cause I'm just like, okay, I'm not gonna get a shortcut. I'm just gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.

And that's fine, I'm very grateful because I get to learn a lot during that. And it's more rewarding that way. It is way more rewarding. I was just the other day listening to Taylor Swift and at the end of the song, because I read the lyrics, it just says written by Taylor Swift. And when I thought to myself, I'm like, that's what I'm going to be able to say about my life is that I did it. And so to have somebody older in the age does mean a lot. I don't know why, but having someone older than me.

see something, speak it, like when you came to work out and he was just like, you are so strong. And I was like, what? Like, I know, I know. You a badass. You don't even know it. I want her to see you work out. I don't ever hear that from anyone ever. And so it's just very special to me. The role that you have played I only call it shit the way I see it, kid. I know, but.

when you never hear it and you're 35 years old, it's just like shocking. You know what I mean? It just feels, um, and I know it's genuine because I know you. And so it just has been a very like validating thing. So anyway, sorry about that. Everyone LOL. We're doing great. Sam, I've known you for gosh, what? Almost 10 years now.

Sam Fischer (01:50:14.03)
Maybe yeah, if it's 2015 so it's getting so about eight to nine years No, it would say I think like we took a few years. It takes a lot to warm up to Sam or Sam to warm up to people Yeah, that's the same way. Um, I you were jerk. Yeah I'm cop face. I have always said about Sam that like and there's a handful of people at the gym that I say honestly like everyone at the gym but specifically a handful of people that like I always feel

very protected knowing that he's in my corner. And so I think of you like a protector kind of. And a lot of the things that these two are both saying, you know, like Brandi, you said, like he does things with integrity. Like I automatically think loyalty when I think of Sam. And that inspires me to act a certain way, you know, just like kids don't do what you say, they do what you do. Like your actions definitely have inspired me in the past with decisions and things like that. So.

Thank you for that. And then like something else too is like worthiness and like importance. Like I never really had like, I struggle with like feeling like worthy sometimes. And that's like very vulnerable of me sharing that. It's not something I tell people a lot, but Sam, at time and time again, and it's always at like the perfect times, like he will just remind me of that. And it means so much to me.

Obviously I haven't ever told you that, but you're a huge reason that I went even harder in the field that I'm in to help people because you made me feel like I made a difference and that was something I just needed to hear. Thank you, Sam. You help a lot of people too.