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Surviving Trauma: Stories of Hope
Surviving Trauma: Stories of Hope
Unbroken: Rhonda Farrah's Journey of Self-Love and Growth
What if your reflection held the key to your empowerment? Join us as we sit down with Rhonda Farrah, a lifestyle empowerment alchemist and coach, whose journey from a traditional, matriarchal family in Connecticut to a transformative life in Colorado will inspire you. Rhonda’s unique approach, encapsulated in her "Fix Your Reflection First" mantra, underscores the power of self-reflection and self-love in fostering personal growth. In this episode, she shares how her background in horticulture evolved into a passion for psychology, empowering others to grow, and overcome life's challenges. Rhonda's holistic strategies and unwavering dedication turn setbacks into incredible opportunities for advancement.
In a gripping and candid discussion, Rhonda opens up about the most challenging chapters of her life, including her unexpected federal indictment and imprisonment. She reveals how these profound experiences, coupled with her battle against breast cancer and financial ruin, have shaped her indomitable inner strength. Rhonda's story is a testament to resilience and the power of embracing one’s soul agenda amid adversity. Whether she's teaching wellness classes to fellow inmates or navigating personal crises, Rhonda exemplifies how authentic strength can lead to liberation and profound personal transformation. Tune in for a powerful episode filled with insights on self-awareness, accountability, and turning life's harshest moments into pivotal growth opportunities.
If you wish to connect with Rhonda, check out his website and social media links below.
Website: https://helpmerhondanow.com/
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/rhondam.farrahdrwa
X: https://x.com/i/flow/login?redirect_after_login=%2Fhelpmerhondanow
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helpmerhondanow_/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhonda-m-farrah-ma-drwa-81097b14/
Connect with me by checking out mycenteredlife on social media, and leave me a comment to let me know what you think of the episode. Also please, head to Amazon, Takealot or Audible at the link and get your copy of my E-book, paperback book or audiobook edition, of Ray of Light, and please leave me a rating and review. It would mean the world to me.
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Instagram: My Centered Life Instagram
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LinkedIn: Marlene McConnell LinkedIn
Please support the show on Paypal: PayPal.Me/marlenegmcconnell
Hi there, I'm your host, marlene McConnell, and welcome to the Surviving Trauma Stories of Hope podcast. Today I'm pleased to welcome Rhonda Farrow to the podcast and she joins me from Colorado in the United States. Rhonda is a lifestyle empowerment alchemist, coach and prominent figure in personal development. She has dedicated years of insights as a psychotherapist to be a guiding light for women facing unique challenges, helping them embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment. In a world where external issues often command our attention, rhonda stands out as a catalyst for inner growth with her mantra Fix your Reflection First, a beacon of hope for women who find themselves trapped in the throes of personal turmoil, be it in relationships, career or daily life. Through her extensive career and profound dedication, rhonda has spearheaded the Fix your Reflection First method of realizing that both the joys and the setbacks in your life can serve you if you can look past your immediate emotional response and use your self-awareness to grow instead of pushing yourself down. Rhonda's holistic approach centers on self-reflection and the restoration of self-love as the cornerstone of personal growth and change. Empowerment Alchemist coach, speaker, entrepreneur, spiritual teacher and educator, rhonda has cultivated an extensive toolkit designed to assist individuals in addressing the challenges that hold them back and embrace the joys that propel them forward, working with clients and companies from international centers for spiritual living all the way to the US Open Wellness team. Rhonda's teachings emphasize harnessing self-awareness and leveraging life setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.
Speaker 1:I loved having Rhonda join me and I know you will love this episode. In case you missed it, I recently launched my YouTube channel. My videos will include relevant inspirational personal awareness, self-improvement content, positive affirmations, meditations, visualizations and, of course, the podcast. So please check out Marlene McConnell on YouTube. If you wish to support the podcast. To keep going, please join the Infinite Progress Society on Patreon and take advantage of the great benefits.
Speaker 1:Thank you to my listeners for joining me on this journey. Comment on my posts on Instagram, facebook and LinkedIn and YouTube and let me know what you think of this episode. Also, head to amazoncom, audible or takealotcom and get your copy of my book Ray of Light, and please leave me a rating and review. It would mean the world to me, as always. Stay tuned and keep listening. Welcome to today's podcast episode featuring Rhonda Ferrer, a psychotherapist and lifestyle empowerment coach, who has an incredible story that she will be sharing with us today, a story that truly speaks to overcoming a story that helps us in various challenges in our own lives and specifically focusing on women. Rhonda's mantra Fix your Reflection First serves as a guiding light for individuals navigating personal turmoil in their relationships, careers and in their daily life. And today Randa will join us as we are going to delve into her journey of self-discovery, empowerment and the transformative power of self-reflection. Rhonda Farad, welcome to the Surviving Trauma Stories of Hope podcast.
Speaker 2:Rhonda Farad. Welcome to the Surviving Trauma Stories of Hope podcast.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, marlene. Thank you for inviting me to be your guest. I'm pleased to be here, wonderful. I'm just as happy to have you, and I look forward to our discussion today. So let's start just by giving a bit of background. I know that we're going to talk about your journey. Given a bit of background. I know that we're going to talk about your journey, but you're in the US and you are out in Colorado, and do you want to give us a little bit of background about you? Grow up in Colorado. Are you originally from that state?
Speaker 2:No, I'm originally from Connecticut. I'm an East Coast gal and I was raised in largely a traditional family. I had a stay-at-home mom and a dad who preferred mom stay-at-home. I'm the oldest of three brothers and one sister, and through about third grade we all lived in an extended family, which means it was my parents, my siblings and I, grandparents, aunts, great aunts all in the same household, and it was primarily a household of women. So I learned the nurturing factor very young, and so there was plenty of love in that household and plenty of discipline as well. That's a matriarch, definitely, definitely, and I knew early on that I wanted to serve others, maybe not in those specific words, but I like to nurture, I like to nourish, and that's exactly what I did. It delved me into the field of psychology, and it was an interesting field. Previous to that, I was at the University of Connecticut for undergrad and grad school, and previous to that I was not majoring in psychology, nor sociology, nor any of the humanities. I was majoring in horticulture.
Speaker 1:I love plants.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love plants, I love anything that grows and for one reason or another, I switched. I switched to helping others grow and nourish and nurture themselves.
Speaker 1:I can imagine that you have a green thumb too, and that you have a beautiful garden at home.
Speaker 2:I do and I do. I like the weeding, I like the pruning, I like the work.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I like the color because anything with color is work and that's what I instill in my clients. I have a toolbox psychotherapeutic, and I have a toolbox of lifestyle, empowerment, alchemist and coach, and we can draw from those. But it's the client's responsibility. I'm sure you'll agree to do the work to obtain the results that they wish to obtain.
Speaker 2:And my story is truly one of alchemy and I'm not a left-brain person person but alchemy is the precursor of chemistry and I did not take chemistry. I think I opted for environmental science. But whatever the requirements was, we're in undergrad and grad school, yeah, but an alchemist is some. Well, just like an alchemy, you take one substance and turn it into something else. That's.
Speaker 2:I mean the basic alchemy definition. So as an alchemist, I help individuals take the joys, the good stuff, as well as the challenges, struggles, the sorrows, that not so good stuff, and make it, have them help themselves, to make it work for them, rather than anything less, so that they can at least begin to live the life that they desire, the life that they want, perhaps even the life that they dream about. I definitely believe in my stories. When you say story journey, it was like one thing after another journey it was like one thing after another and the interesting part was I could not have come out on the best side of all those challenges and struggles had I not found gifts and blessings in them, whether I wanted to or not and that is the perfect place to be.
Speaker 1:You want to have that balance. Even if you're given something in life that seems incredibly challenging and difficult, that brings your life to a halt, you can, with 20-20 vision, look back and say this was actually my opportunity, that gave me all my blessings and provided me with all the opportunities that I now have. Yeah, that's an incredible realization. I think it's a brilliant way of looking at your life and building have. Yeah, that's an incredible realization. I think it's a brilliant way of looking at your life and building resilience. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, and so whether through all these challenges and struggles and we'll get into those I was building my spiritual muscles Okay, and I was also. I've been a distance runner for 49 years I don't run as quickly, as I used to, oh nice.
Speaker 1:Yes, through ice and snow.
Speaker 2:About six to seven miles, six days a week.
Speaker 1:Okay, a fellow runner I like it.
Speaker 2:So I know persistence, I know perseverance, I know it takes work, I know it takes discipline. I know perseverance, I know it takes work, I know it takes discipline, and it takes loving what you're doing, whether it's running six to seven miles, six days a week or whatever it is that you'd like to do or however you'd like to support yourself physically emotionally, spiritually, yeah.
Speaker 2:So the alchemy part is very, very important for people that are listening Understand life does not happen to us, it happens for us and I believe, I know that, whatever comes, our way in life we have called forward at least on the subconscious level. Our way in life we have called forward at least on the subconscious level. My subconscious called all this stuff forward and a lot of it I didn't like and those things never in my wildest imagination that I would think that my midlife crisis was a combination of several things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and I was going to ask you that you know if you could share a little bit about that journey of of really hitting that rock bottom in your life and really you know what that looked like for you.
Speaker 2:It was the surreal to me. I'm a person that never had a speeding ticket or a parking violation, but I called it forward for a couple of reasons. I called it forward because what I was doing in this world of high finance had taken me away from being of service to others, and I call it God, but whether you call it source spirit, the divine, the universe, it's always trying to get our attention, to put us on the journey that we need to be on so that we can be of not only service to ourselves, but service to others, because I do believe. That's why we are here, and I'll say one right after another, because people say well, what is your story? And I'll say which one.
Speaker 2:My story is being in a women's federal prison camp there were no bars, but it was still prison. And then, learning 11 months before release, I had a lump on my breast. And learning, 11 months before release, I had a lump on my breast and not willing to do anything about it until I got home. Then you throw in several divorces in the meantime and it was like whoa, everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Yet I was calling it forward, and this is why I was calling it forward, and this is why I was calling it forward. But I was good at nurturing and nourishing others, but not myself, not esteeming myself, not doing the self-care, the self-esteem, the appreciation, the self-love and liking myself. So my company has helped me, rhonda now. So my company has helped me, rhonda now. However, two years ago I rebranded in that company and it's fix your reflection first and live your best life ever. And that's what I've been doing on an accelerated rate. You're never too old for transformation. I turned 66 last month. Never too old for transformation, yeah.
Speaker 1:Wonderful.
Speaker 2:Thank you. So this is I need to be the example and not the exception If I am going to positively impact and empower others and help them help themselves to live an empowered life. So in my early forties, so in my early 40s, never did I expect to be hit with a federal indictment. It's very daunting to see on a piece of paper United States of America versus Rhonda Farah. Whoa, that's like what this is. What's surreal, real. So I went through every motion that I could go through, but I was still found guilty. I had a sentence of 72 months in a women's federal prison camp and that was it. It was every motion that we would put in for dismissal or to get me home was denied because I called it forward to learn what I have, to learn about myself and to be. I always said I want to be in service to others, I want to nourish and nurture others, and that's what I did for 300 women.
Speaker 1:Can I ask you I mean, if I I mean, this must've come as a big shock to you as someone in the finance business world, to one day come home to this federal indictment Do you want to share about what was going on in your mind at that time? Totally unbelievable.
Speaker 2:Okay. However, I always knew that I had to learn something I was scared, but I wasn't in fear. There's two difference between being scared and being in fear. Fear is immobilizing. Fear is yes, you're gonna react, you're gonna knee jerk rather than respond and think about it and feel it and own it. So I take full responsibility for making some very poor choices that not only affected my life, but, in fact, affected my daughter's life and my entire family.
Speaker 1:And I think there's a lesson for the listeners in there, because I have many corporate executives who you know are my listeners. I'm a corporate executive in the finance team and I think you know when the message that I say, if you say I pay this forward, and I'm sure they who are listening to say you need to take your fiduciary and taking that responsibility, but who are we delegating to in matters of finance?
Speaker 2:Who are we delegating to when it comes to raising our children? Who are we delegating to? Absolutely? You know, those were my poor choices. I'm the best delegator around. However, not what doing.
Speaker 2:Not doing one due diligence is the most dangerous thing and the biggest crime I'm guilty of wow, so I'm sorry that happened to you, ronda well, it's interesting because everything happens for a reason, and when someone says what was the purpose of it, I said the purpose of it was for me to learn lessons and to be the very best that I could be in that particular situation. Incidentally, my sentence was expunged after six years. Oh wonderful, After my time served and I don't. Everyone says aren't you angry? I said no, what?
Speaker 1:would that do it?
Speaker 2:wouldn't do a thing Because you've already served the time. I've served the time, I've made the best of my time and it pivoted me again right back into being of service to others. I'm not saying it wasn't, you know, it wasn't a cakewalk, but again I was very blessed. I had a track, I had a place to do strength training. I was part of a work cadre of five women that went to San Francisco every day and did gardening on the Presidio.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:That is fantastic. So those were the blessings that allowed me to get in the vibe of being happy. Everyone says, well, when I get this or when I get that. Women used to say to me well, when I'm home, I'll work on my health. I said don't count on it. When you're home, you're going to have to pay your rent, take care of your kids and do everything else that you know to do. This is your time. This is literally your time.
Speaker 2:Use it well, use it well. So again, I was in service to others, not only for, you know, their physical wellbeing, but their emotional wellbeing. I was teaching wellness classes.
Speaker 1:But of course I mean as a psychotherapist and as a coach, you have the perfect background to actually sort of put them onto the plan, the rehabilitation plan. You should be remunerated. I hope you were remunerated in prison.
Speaker 2:No, I wasn't as a matter of fact, I'll tell you. No, I wasn't as a matter of fact, I'll tell you what?
Speaker 2:when I was teaching, my crime is not drug related or violent, okay, and it was expunged. But the the wellness classes I was teaching, I taught to women who entered a drug program okay, they were in there for purchase and sale of drugs or all of that and, yeah, they received a year off on their sentence. I was not the only one teaching classes so that they could participate and get a year off on their sentence. And after about a year I went to my counselor and I said do you think I could get a year off because I'm teaching? And they said no, it's not going to work that way. And I said, okay, that was that. I surrendered. That was a piece of the surrender. And before that, about a year into this, into prison camp with 300 women I mean, it was a truly extraordinary experience 300 women all together. I stopped banging the phone against the wall saying get me out of here. One day I just had this aha moment and I still get my aha breath.
Speaker 1:It's a confirmation and I still get my aha breath it's a confirmation from source, from divine, from God, from me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, from that day forward it was like I'm here to learn something, okay, so I pretty much kept to myself.
Speaker 1:I was a model inmate inmate and um, and it's funny how, rhonda, when you slam your head against that door because this is your will, but then once you stop and you say I'm so tired of slamming my head against this door, then God says here's a door, let me open it for you and all the blessings come. You get to go and work in the garden, you get to teach wellness classes.
Speaker 1:It's a difficult thing to come to terms with within ourselves, but that is exactly how that switch works and how God helps you on your path.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and my subconscious mind knew that all the time. My conscious mind wasn't on board until a year after. Yeah, so I needed to be incarcerated in order to be liberated. And I say that very honestly, because I was not living myself with a capital S. I was in some other self with the small s. So incarceration did a world of difference for me. It started peeling away the onion skin so I could regain my sense of self.
Speaker 1:And I did. That's a very powerful statement and it really is a testament to true self-reflection.
Speaker 2:Yes. So when I look in my mirror now, mirror work is nothing new. I've been doing it for years, even before I knew I was doing it, and of every paint of glass I would say, oh God, you're looking good today. And I was kind of joking, but not the subconscious mind, she was not joking. And I think back to the days of going through trial and otherwise and my first attorney saying to me I'm going to get you a deal with the government. And I go, huh, I'm going to get you a deal with the government.
Speaker 2:And I go, huh, I'm going to get you a deal All you have to do is basically what it meant was throwing some people under the bus. And I said, no, I'm not going to do that Because and this is exactly what I said I remember it as if it was yesterday and it was in 1998. If it was yesterday and it was in 1998.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do that because I have to get up every morning and look myself in the mirror. Those words have come full circle, full circle. It's really important to own what you do in life. Own yourself, practice self-love, practice self-care, practice self-esteem. Appreciate yourself and know that you are a magnificent person, regardless of situation, circumstance or event. I didn't always look in my mirror. I was downtrodden in the early days. Oh my Incarceration. Ooh Felon, it's a tough one to come to terms with difficult.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so transformation wheel turns very slowly when you have to come to terms with your circumstances.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. I was going along in prison. You know, I think, just fine, I was learning what I needed to learn. I was helping others. I wasn't being combative at all. I was surrendering, so that what needed to come in to me was helping others. I wasn't being combative at all. I was surrendering, so that what needed to come in to me was coming in. Then, I discovered, I have a lump in my breast.
Speaker 1:And what was the medical treatment like in prison? Because I remember you said earlier that you didn't take any treatment. You waited till you got home and you were released.
Speaker 2:I waited till I got home and I was released. It was through prayer, meditation and doing all the things that I would do with a client, but I was practicing the self-love. I was practicing self-care as best that I could and also reducing the stresses.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I made a switch in 2005. 2005 was when I was released and I made a switch because then I went right to a doctor for a biopsy. But I made that switch. The biopsy, of course, was in breast cancer awareness month, october, and it was positive. And everyone you know how many questions you're getting. Well, what happened? What happened what? What was the results? I said, well, it wasn't the best news, but it's not the worst news. So I'm going along being some of my family's members says say you, you were such a Pollyanna. And I said no, that was my authentic self from within, coming out, knowing that this was all happening for a reason, no accident, no happenstance, no coincidence. So that inner strength I gained from being incarcerated was now going to help me be my best self to get through this of nearly stage three breast cancer.
Speaker 1:Wow, I was going to ask you if it had metastasized in that time that you were in prison, if it had spread at all.
Speaker 2:I know that when I had the surgery that they did take 11 lymph nodes from here, but they were all, it was okay 11., so it hadn't. They thought it had spread because I was drinking a dye and the dye goes to where it's going to go but it hadn't. And yet another miracle, yet another gift, another blessing. And my friends would say we'll get you another breast. And I said no, I like this breast.
Speaker 2:And I have my breast, it has a nice war scar on it, though, and I took the best of that situation because once again, I'm pivoted into going to groups for women with breast cancer and contributing what I can contribute to that. Those support groups are amazing. They are amazing and I would talk about. You know, we all have this power within us, whatever you call it. It's our authentic power from within and it's the ability for anyone in trauma breast cancer, prison, divorce, financial ruin it is a necessary element and it's there so we can not only survive it, but we can thrive. So some people would disagree with me, but for me, it's me, it's my story, it's my journey and I was thriving. I was knowing more about myself than I had ever realized. So, eve of I discovered this Okay, oh, I got to go. This is and my family members would say when are we going to get a break?
Speaker 1:And it's just too much. The one thing after the next, after the next.
Speaker 2:But again I was strengthened. The authentic power, the spiritual muscle was maneuvering me so that I could understand that this was for the agenda of my soul. I didn't call it that at that time. Yeah, so today, when something happens, I'm not immune to other things going wrong, even at this stage. But I do say how is this attending to the agenda of my soul when I make this? How is this attending to the agenda of my soul?
Speaker 1:When.
Speaker 2:I make this decision, is this attending to the agenda of my soul, and only? I know that's right. So that was act two of my midlife crisis the breast cancer. And again, gift and blessing, not only teaching and training people. And I was scared but I wasn't in fear, it wasn't the worst news best news, but it wasn't the worst news.
Speaker 2:I wasn't in fear and I can remember going into the operating room. I was laying on a gurney and my operating room nurse said Did you say something? And it's a beautiful day in Monterey, california. I'm waiting for my surgeon and the nurse comes over and said did you say something? And it's a beautiful day in Monterey, california. I'm waiting for my surgeon and the nurse comes over and says did you want me, do you need me for something? I said no, I'm just looking out at this beautiful day having a little talk with God. And she said oh, okay. And she looked at me and my hair was even shorter than it is now.
Speaker 2:I mean, this is by choice when I had no hair from chemo, okay, she said oh, look, your hair is growing back. It was like peach fuzz. She then pulls back her skull cap and says maybe it will grow out curly like mine did. So she had been through this and she had not only survived it, she was thriving, so she could be back in service of others. That was a message, that was a confirmation for me Yep, you're going to be all right and you are going to be all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is fantastic. And you know these earth angels, rhonda, they have a way of showing up just in the right moment, you know, and you can't help but recognize the synchronicities of life, and you can't help but recognize and say, god, I see you, I see your message, I see that you've sent it to me now. Thank you for giving me the reassurance, God, that this person has brought me your message and I am now in good hands, where I'm going into theater, you know.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:It's incredible, Rhonda.
Speaker 2:It's incredible and just moving through it and then later learning I had no idea that 30% of women with breast cancer never make it. They make their transition in a hasty, too early. So I was very blessed and everyone's well. There's no history of breast cancer in our family and I go well. And the interesting part is this is why I say made the switch learning breast cancer and having my background in psychotherapy, the emotions I started dealing with emotional and cognitive, and how it affects the physical.
Speaker 2:The incidence of men have breast cancer too, but the incidence of breast cancer in women is because we are unable to nourish and nurture ourselves. We're really good at nourishing and nurturing everyone else, we're really good at people pleasing. And someone asked me recently, yesterday in an interview well, because I mentioned well, I didn't want to do this, I've never taken any street drugs, oh, I don't want to go under the knife and this, that and the other thing. And they said, I said so what I did was I went to a medical Qigong specialist. I was going to heal this with Eastern medicine. So what happened was I did that.
Speaker 2:I had already been to my oncologist, already met the surgeon. I go, I'm going to do this with Eastern medicine and it's prayer and chanting. And, uh, I did it all and he said to me go back to your oncologist because western medicine has the best diagnostic tools. I went back and she said to me I don't know what you're doing, but you're shrinking your tumor. My daughter was with me. My daughter's head spun around on her neck and said, literally, you're buying this, wow. And then I knew it was because I was asked just yesterday well, why did you do it? You knew you had the power within you to heal yourself. I said, you know why? Because my family was so devastated with my previous escapade in prison.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do this to them again. And I needed to get over my fear of this stuff that was going to happen to me. How can this be happening? I'm an athlete, I eat right, I do everything right, got to go through it. Got to go through it, but that onion skin had been peeled away so that I had more perseverance and resistance. The runner in me came out and I got to tell you I had very few side effects when I was undergoing chemotherapy, the thing I was the most frightened of. Very few side effects. As a matter of fact, I was at least jogging four days a week. Few side effects, as a matter of fact, I was at least jogging four days a week. Goodness so, wow, it was.
Speaker 2:I mean those are gifts and those are blessings that's unheard of. It was like huh, so I was learning really quickly. Yeah, I'm learning really quickly. Yeah, and I. Everything was a confirmation that everything I talk about, everything I believed, the discipline, the mindfulness that I was exuding in different ways previous to incarceration, incarceration made me more spiritual, absolutely. That was the catalyst. That was the catalyst, or else I wouldn't have been doing what I'm doing today. Enter Act 3. A couple of divorces, one right after another, because they were people.
Speaker 1:Was this while you were in prison?
Speaker 2:No, no Prison came out, breast cancer now. Now again, not choosing wisely, not choosing wisely and very short-lived marriages, however gift and blessing yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, one was 20 years before, but one right after another, the last two. But there was a gift and a blessing. Because what is this pattern you're doing, rhonda? You're making poor choices. You know why? Because I was not esteeming myself, I was settling, I was living life in default mode and please, I mean no disrespect to whomever I was married to, not at all. They taught me how to esteem and to practice self-care and self-love, and now, when I look in the mirror, I see the love of my life. That's wonderful.
Speaker 1:And that's what we all, if we all do that, yeah.
Speaker 2:If we all do that, when we look in our mirror and we practice respect, practice respect to yourself, practice love to yourself, practice care to yourself, practice love to yourself, practice care to yourself, be gentle with yourself, because that's what you will draw to you, not just in a romantic relationship, that's what you will draw in every area of your life. It's simple, it's basic, but you know it's not easy and it's not for the faint of heart. Yeah, I mean the, the self it's basic.
Speaker 1:But you know it's not easy and it's not for the faint of heart. Yeah, I mean the self-love. It's always interesting to me how, when we go through these difficulties in life, these setbacks with trauma, traumatic experiences, the self-love isn't the aspect that comes in handy right in the beginning. Right in the beginning, that's the last thing you want. It is. But once you come through that journey of self-development, you come through that self-discovery and you have a better understanding and acceptance of your circumstances, you start to step into your purpose.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Is what you're saying. That's really where the self-love is most powerful.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, absolutely Most powerful and essential. It's essential, yes.
Speaker 1:It is essential.
Speaker 2:If you're not loving yourself, you are not capable of loving another human being, and if you're not loving yourself, you're going to be, and it's not an egotistical thing at all.
Speaker 1:It's not about being vain.
Speaker 2:It's really about and maybe you can complete that sentence- I believe, without a doubt, that selfishness, especially as women, is the most selfless thing we will do. That doesn't mean hurting others not at all but it means if we're not caring for ourselves. You know you may have heard this because I've heard it in the past People become psychologists and psychotherapists and counselors because that's what they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's true, it's true, it's absolutely true. And you know you're talking about the selfishness and how you need to be selfish, right, and those words was advice that was given to me by a therapist at a very young age, my very, very early 20s, I would even say my late teens, just becoming a young adult. Yeah, and I went there and I was unpacking all of the stuff oh, my goodness, my life is so hard. I can't believe it. I've got all these tests and everybody wants stuff from me and the therapist sat there, you know, for an hour and in the end she looked, turned to me and she sat forward in her chair and she said Marlene, I think that you need to be a little bit selfish and take some time for yourself, because you're giving away all of your energy and all of your time to everyone else, and being selfish is not a bad thing at all.
Speaker 1:Now at 19,. I didn't quite understand fully what she meant and how to embody that, but it's beautiful the way that you articulate it through your experiences, and also for the listeners to have that insight as to how to embody it. Yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:And you know I call them my adventures and escapades, having come out on the best side of all and having peeled away the onion skin and having my true sense of self, with the capital S be recovered, because that was the worst thing that happened to me. It wasn't prison, breast cancer and divorces. Where was Rhonda in all this? I lost my sense of self. That was the best thing that happened to me, and it takes a while. I was looking in my mirror last week or the week before and I wrote about it and posted it. But I was looking in my mirror and I was wondering and I was speaking to myself, among other things and I highly advocate speaking to yourself.
Speaker 2:If you don't like looking in the mirror, everyone carries their phone around with them, so just flip it so you see your reflection and have a talk with yourself. And I said, gee, I'm 66 now, but I do have the right mantra, I do have the right brand 66, and I continue to fix my reflection first and live my best life ever. Then I thought, well, I'm always saying well, moses was in his late 70s before he did anything major to help the world. And I'm thinking, I wonder and I say it no longer jokingly. That day, isla picked up a review from Harvard and a review from Stanford in the same day, and it was talking about success, whatever that means to people financial, in your love life, success of any kind on your person and it's in the 60s and 70s that you are your most successful. It was another message. I said ah, I knew I was on the right track. Okay, I knew I was on the right track.
Speaker 1:Because all of the onion peels have been taken off. For you now to enjoy the successes thereof. Yeah, you know we don't understand always the value and the purpose of time here. You know, we make sense of it in this world. We say, okay, there's a midlife crisis, oh, you get to this point. I don't know what happened to this person, but all of a sudden they change. They're not the person. They used to be Right. But what if, from a spiritual perspective, that is where our awakening actually happened, and now we actually come here to do the things as intended. Hence the success that you can then have in your 16s and your 70s? Exactly, exactly. Rhonda, as an author, a speaker and as an alchemist coach, you've worked with various clients and organizations. Can you share any particular success story where your method has brought about significant change to your clients or the organization?
Speaker 2:Yes, I can. I'm glad you asked me that question. First of all, I work with women, primarily 45 and over. That's who I am attracting and who are attracted to the type of work I do and the style that I have With respect to success stories. Clients working with me find the biggest success if they understand that I am helping them help themselves, not only for a session or for a month or for three months.
Speaker 2:I'm helping them pave the road for their own continued success and for their own continued awareness and realizations and identifications of their self with the capital S. One woman in particular came to me. I have several, but one woman in particular came to me and she just was having. She was in a terrible relationship, a very toxic, unhealthy relationship. They were not married, but toxic and unhealthy, and as we uncovered what was happening there, she had been a people pleaser for all of her life, beginning with her family and then, as she went through school, trying to be part of the cliques, so to speak.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So she was pleasing people and that was a habit with her, and I would call it a bad habit because she was not in good shape. She was emotionally distraught, very unhappy, and I told her what my guidelines were about me helping her help herself. I told her what my guidelines were about me helping her help herself and that, while I do have a magic wand, I'm not about to wave it over her. She's got to be all in with me.
Speaker 2:And she said okay, and she came through. Woman today is now not only in a healthy relationship and knows it and understands what a healthy relationship is, because she started with practicing healthy love and appreciation and esteem for herself. So she's in a healthy relationship and sure, there's always bumps in the road, but she knows how to navigate through those. She's no longer a people pleaser nor a doormat and she is loving her life and her brand new adventures, which she is taking responsibility for bringing towards herself.
Speaker 1:Wow, and that's a major change to make in your life. But I mean, I'm not in all surprised that you could help her and enable her to do this and make these positive life changes for herself. And I think that so many people are, you know, stuck in those toxic relationships. And I think when you make these positive changes, one of the biggest lessons is that true love does exist and, you know, true love and unconditional support exists in this world.
Speaker 2:And it begins right here.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah With the self-love. Yeah. So you have contributed to several books and we haven't even touched on any of your books. But I know that your books are on your website and I'm going to leave the link for the listeners so that they can check out the books. But you've contributed to several books and worked with inspirational figures. How did these experiences really shape your own approach to empowerment and personal growth?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, I am a contributing author to America's leading ladies, those who positively impact our world, and I am honored and humbled to be part of a book that includes Melinda Gates and Oprah Winfrey, and that's wonderful. That was all my publisher's doing, because my publisher, who has since made her transition she's passed away two years ago, but she was, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, pat unexpectedly, and her name was Pat Sampson and she was a powerhouse. And she was for men too, though, for having people be of service through telling story and helping others understand that they are not alone. Number one to what I say come out of the closet with respect to my adventures and escapades, to indeed let people know that they are not alone. And, you know, to have the company of Oprah Winfrey and Melinda Gates, as well as some of my colleagues are in that book as well helped me with my own self-esteem, helped me to look in the mirror even more closely and like what I see, so that I can illuminate that to others.
Speaker 2:And another book was Heroes, leaders and Legends, those who Make a Positive Change in this World, and again, it's all the things that I dream about, the life that I dream about, making positive change, positively impacting the lives of others. Yeah, and what that did for me was give me the confirmation that, yeah, okay, I'm going to be in this book. Yeah, it was great, I have an up and coming book. Actually, the working title it's forthcoming is From PTA to Prison my Journey in Transformation.
Speaker 1:From PTA.
Speaker 2:Parent Teacher Association to Prison, okay, okay. So that's forthcoming and it will truly let people understand that we do have the power within us, that power to thrive and not merely survive, that power to respond and grow from those responses rather than react in a knee-jerk way and become less empowered. So I'm proud of those books and the up and coming book that's out of my comfort zone. I always say Life begins when one is out of their comfort zone. Not only did my adventures and midlife crises Acts 1, 2 and 3.
Speaker 1:Take me out of my comfort zone, but that's way out of your comfort zone, way out of my comfort zone, but that's way out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 2:That's where life begins and that's where my life began.
Speaker 1:Wow, and when can we expect the your most recent manuscript to be published? The PTA, yes, the PTA from PTA to prison Within a year. Within a year. Well, we invite you back to come and speak to us again, and once you've published your book, you're always welcome here. And, rhonda, you're also a teacher. You jokingly mentioned the PTA, but you also are a coach. You jokingly mentioned the PTA, but you also are a coach. Do you have any specific courses that is upcoming that you can share with the listeners and that they can join?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. The link is not yet on my website, but I will send it to you and it will be on my website. The name of the course it's a 12-week course and it will be on my website. And the name of the course it's a 12-week course and what I do is, rather than have your whole year done goals for 12 months, we take it in bite-sized chunks, 12 weeks at a time. You're not required to do more than 12 weeks, but 12 weeks at a time to fix your reflection first and live your best life ever. There are 12 weeks, 12 modules, two hours with me every week, some free coaching, some discounted coaching, e-books free of charge and whatever else I can come up with.
Speaker 1:That's so much value, it packs a big punch. Thank you so much for sharing that with the listeners and I'm going to leave that link in the show notes. So, if you're listening, check out the show notes, where you can find Rhonda's website. You'll find the link to the book as to her books, which is on the website, as well as the link to her upcoming group coaching program. Rhonda, any last words of inspiration that you feel called to share with us before we close?
Speaker 2:I love that question. And first, if anyone has questions of me or comments, you're free to email me at Rhonda R-H-O-N-D-A at helpmerondanowcom and I will gladly respond to you. Whatever is on your heart or your mind, I do have some parting words. Number one whatever tunnel you are going through right now, wherever you are journeying right now, you are not alone. Wherever you are journeying right now, you are not alone, and the light at that end of that tunnel is not necessarily a train. I believe and I know that light at the end of the tunnel coming at me and is for you too. If you choose the guidance, the wisdom, divine, right choices and inspired action to take, just know that as well.
Speaker 2:We live with ourselves. That's our most constant companion. So I invite you to look in your mirror, understand who that companion is, who you are journeying with Every single moment of every single day of your life. And I also invite you to understand and to know that wherever you go and I've been to many places you take yourself with you. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. You're the common denominator. So you have that power not only understand that, but to make situations, circumstances and events, whatever they are, better and take the gift and the blessing and in conclusion, because I love life, I invite our viewers, our listeners, to treat life as if it were ice cream and enjoy it before it melts.
Speaker 1:Wow, I love that so much because time will slip through your fingers and, just like ice cream, will Absolutely yes, wow, oh, my gosh, rhonda, you are such an incredible inspiration, I tell you, listening to the way that you speak, the way that you've navigated all of these hurdles that have been placed on your experience here in life that's acted as the catalyst for really showing how you needed to grow as a person and do the inner work in order to now, you know, stand in service to others.
Speaker 1:Like you say, this is your true purpose. Your true purpose is effectively, through your experiences, to now stand in service to others and to give back and to lead others, and I think that every setback you can turn into an opportunity for growth, and I think you are that example for us. Thank you so much, rhonda, for just sharing your wisdom with us today and just for empowering us to live our best lives and take a different perspective when it comes to challenges and embracing resilience in our lives, and I think those are powerful, powerful words to live by and methodologies to employ in your life, and it can only stand you in really good stead, you know. So thank you so much my pleasure.
Speaker 2:Marlene, thank you for having me as your guest.
Speaker 1:You're very welcome. Take care all right. Bye for now. That wraps up this podcast episode. Thank you for listening. If you enjoy my podcast, please take a minute to give me a rating and review in Apple Podcasts. Please subscribe in your favorite podcast directory so you don't miss an episode. Please consider following my Scented Life on Facebook and Instagram for daily inspiration. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. You can catch me again in the next episode Same time, same place, sending you lots of love and light. Bye.