Healing Generational Trauma

We trace a family conflict back to its root wound and show how acceptance, not approval-seeking, rewires the nervous system for safety and love. A raw story becomes a step-by-step path: grieve, de-idolize, set boundaries, rest, and receive.

• trauma as emotional wound and how it’s passed on
• silent treatment as control and its imprint on the nervous system
• taking the cape off parents to find compassion
• speaking up without seeking approval
• acceptance overcomes fear of rejection
• rest as a practice to regulate and receive
• moving relationships from codependency to clarity
• practical self-regulation mantras and boundaries
• healing as a personal responsibility that changes lineage

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Chapters

• 0:00 Framing The Journey
• 2:39 Defining Trauma As A Wound
• 5:25 Thanksgiving Trigger With Dad
• 10:35 Silent Treatment And Childhood Pattern
• 16:40 Grieving The Inner Child
• 20:30 Taking The Cape Off Parents
• 24:04 The Apology And Speaking Up
• 28:47 Foot Pain And Three Generations
• 32:40 Solo Ceremonies In Tulum
• 37:10 Medicine Lesson: Safety And Rejection

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:05

Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, Derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to Your Results Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Results Podcast. It is your boy DG. I'm saying this, it's been a while, but it really hasn't been a while. You all have been listening each week, but I haven't recorded here in about four weeks. So I got a lot of stuff to get off my chest. I got a lot of things to share with you all. I got a lot of things that have transpired that I hope, as always, will uh help you along your journey. I'm just sharing my experience to help you with yours. Um but this episode today, I wanted to share uh some things with you to help you uh here in 2026 and beyond, whatever you listen to this, to help you to see what it looks like in your life today. So I I had, I think there was an episode where I broke it down. Um and if you were in the community, the DG Mindset community or the academy, you kind of heard me talk about it, but I'm gonna break this down. I just had to wait until I could put it all together, right? Um this thing that we call generational trauma or ancestral trauma and really what it is. See, we have to understand what the word trauma means. Trauma in Greek means wound, an emotional wound, a psychological wound. Okay, I want you to think of it like this. Um you cut your leg because you didn't know how to use a knife. And here you are cutting up them onions, and the onions slipped, and because you weren't holding the knife right, you end up stabbing yourself in the leg. And now you got a wound. But then you have children, and those children, and one day you're gonna be cutting onions, and you didn't teach them the proper way. You didn't teach them how to hold the knife the way you were supposed to, but they watch you do it, and they're holding the knife the same way that you did, and they end up having the same result that you had because you didn't take time to figure out what it was that you needed to do differently to start holding the knife differently so you wouldn't create this wound. Now, I know this is probably not the best example, but my point of this is ancestral generational trauma is passed down because it is unconscious. And we're gonna break down really what it looks like in my life and your life, and we'll see how how how it how we can move past it. So uh I'm gonna give you the details. I'm gonna break this down. Me and my mother, mom, I know you listen to this right now. You know how you you my mom asked me, she goes, I've been waiting to hear the podcast when you're gonna talk about it, but here we are, okay? So Thanksgiving came. Uh day before Thanksgiving, you know, my family's been out here, came out to Indiana to visit my mother and my father, and uh I was just noticing little things with my father, right? I was noticing little things with him, just just little stuff, like little jabs here and there. You know, just you know how you kind of like tease and you kind of mess with somebody. But you know, sometimes when somebody's teasing you and you feel like, well, like I feel like that was a little personal. You come in a little too deep with that one, making little comments here and there. And throughout the week before Thanksgiving, I started to kind of like notice this. You know, when you haven't seen family in a while, you have new eyes when you've been on this journey of uh of self-development, you see things a little bit differently, you hear things a little bit differently, things that were always said in the past, they didn't bother you back then, but now they bother you now because you have more awareness now, and you don't just let shit slide anymore. So I started to see that over the course of the week, things that have been brought up and had been talked about, little jabs, were actually almost like uh belittling me, putting me down, right? And I'm like, no, this can't be it. So anyway, uh the night before Thanksgiving, I'm I'm making my annual Thanksgiving cinnamon rolls, right? I'm kneading out the dough on the on the on the counter. And my father's sitting right there, and he says, Hey, can I talk to you and Carly real quick? I'm like, Yeah, yeah, what's going on? And he says, uh, I just want to talk to you. Uh, you know, because they're standing in our house and and he's sharing a bathroom with our son, and he says, Hey, I had my cologne up on the counter and my cologne is gone. So, okay. He said, I looked and it was inside of, you know, Hudson's drawer. And I said, now at this point I'm confused because I'm like, okay. So I just kind of just listen and taking all the information, observing. And he goes, you know, I think, I think I want to get him that cologne for Christmas. I said, okay. He's like, because I want to teach him how to wear it. And I'm now at this point, just like you probably are, I'm confused as a mother right now. I'm like, what in the world are you talking about? My mom's sitting right there, right? And my mother kind of has this look on her face, like, what in the world is going on? What is he? Unbeknownst to me, he had already spoken to her about what he was going to talk about, but apparently it wasn't coming across the way it should have. So I said to my dad, I kind of have this confused look. And he goes, he goes, You don't understand what I'm what I'm saying? And I'm like, no, not really. And then he kind of snaps. You didn't hear anything I just said? And I'm like, well, well, I said, hold on. I said, just help me understand. Is this conversation about you implying that our son took the cologne and like he stole it from you? Or that you want to get him some cologne for Christmas? He's like, well, well, both. And I'm thinking in my mind, well, first of all, you show me what world a 13-year-old wants to smell like a 74-year-old. You tell me that. I'm telling you, I'm 43 and my son don't want to have nothing to do with me. And I think I'm a little quote unquote cooler than a 74-year-old, but he didn't want to hear none of that. So anyway, I'm just like, okay. But anyway, it triggered the, oh my gosh, it took me, it took me back to a place that I didn't even know it existed. I didn't even know that it was there. So then the next morning, it's Thanksgiving, right? I wake up in the morning, I come downstairs, and he's downstairs at the counter drinking coffee. And all he says to me is, good morning. And I say, hey, good morning. And for the rest of the day, I never heard a word from him. For the rest of the day, he didn't speak one word, didn't say one word. And I didn't say another, I didn't say a word to him either. So I'm not going to sit here and point fingers. But the reason why I'm telling this is because I started to see myself sink back into this child. And I could feel my nervous system, how the kids say it, I don't even know if kids still say this anymore. My nervous system was on fleet. My nervous system was on 100,000. I didn't know what was going on. I'm like, why can't I get myself out of this right now? Now, if there's a day that you have issues with somebody or something's going on, if there's a day in the year that you can put it aside, I would like to think it's the day of Thanksgiving. But for whatever reason, the universe knew that we needed to heal something that had never been healed before. Okay. So I'm just like perplexed. I'm like, he's not speaking to me? Why is he not speaking to me? And all of a sudden I remembered when I was a child that this used to happen. Whenever I didn't meet the approval, I didn't do what I was supposed to, or maybe I messed up, I would get the silent treatment. See, now I have newfound awareness now. I have this new understanding. I've done the work. I'm doing the work. And I realized that this is nothing more than a form of emotional abuse. Anytime that I'm in the same room with you and I'm purposely, it may be unconsciously, but I'm not talking to you, I'm not acknowledging your existence. What that's what is that going to do to a child? I'm naturally now going to seek your approval more because I have a part of me, and we all do, we have a part of us that seeks acceptance. Why? Because acceptance equals safety to the nervous system. So now I don't feel safe. So now I'm going all in now trying to get your approval. I'm going all into trying to get your validation. I'm constantly seeking it. Hey, did I do a good job? What did I do? Hey, am I doing this right? And then when you feel like you don't get it inside the house, what do you do? You go outside of the house. You do it through peers, through society, through likes, through followers, through money, through all of these things of you seeking the approval and validation. But really, I realized, oh my goodness, I was just seeking the approval of my father. Now let me tell you this. Along this journey, I have been doing the work. I told you I've been going down to I signed up for a program with uh using ayahuasca as the medicine to help me heal, program, heal things within me. And at this moment, I realized what I was dealing with. My greatest fear, the big boss, Bowser, the creme de la creme. It was the fear of rejection. It was the fear of being rejected. Because rejection meant silence. Silence meaned meant I didn't exist. And I started to realize I'm like, oh my goodness. This is what this is all about. So Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving, my parents left. My dad said goodbye. And that was it. Now normally we speak every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Friday we didn't speak. Saturday we didn't speak. Sunday we didn't speak. Monday we didn't speak. Tuesday we didn't speak. Carly, my wife came out to you. She said, When do you think he's gonna talk to you? I said, Well, I don't know. Wednesday's my birthday. I know one thing. If you don't if I don't hear nothing from him then, if you don't call me on my birthday, I I don't I don't even know. But here's why I'm saying this. Between that Thursday and that Wednesday, I cried more in those six days than I had cried in the last ten years.

SPEAKER_00: 10:20

And here's why I sat with him.

SPEAKER_01: 10:23

It was multifaceted, it was multidimensional. I was grieving this child inside of me. I was feeling the same things that he felt when he just wanted to be seen. He just wanted to be acknowledged, he just wanted to be accepted. I was grieving the same like literally feeling him. That was part one. Part two. The adult, the adult me, the 43-year-old me, sad that this is the reality of the situation right now. And then there was a part of me who was grieving. Recognizing that my hero was really just a man. Now I sat here and sat with it, and uh I was just sat and had some quiet time, and you could call it the universe, God, my higher self, whatever you refer to it as. It came to me and it said, This is what it means to be an adult. When you take the cape off of your parents, and you see them as adults, you see them as merely wounded children who grew into an adult body. And I sat with it, and I said, You know, my father grew up in rural South Carolina during the 1950s and 60s. He was born in 1951. And his father died when he was seven years old. He was the third of the third youngest. And he watched his mother raise nine children by herself, struggled, didn't have nothing, didn't have, as he would say, didn't have two nickels to rub together. And he didn't, he didn't get what he gave me. He didn't get the father figure in his life. He didn't have that. Then he did find a father figure. His name was Mr. Frank Cook. Mr. Frank Cook was a white man. He'd go to Mr. Frank Cook and feed his horses and take care of his cows, and all the other black kids would make fun of him, saying, Oh, you just his slave. So when he finally did find a positive influence or somebody who cared for him, he felt diminished. So I started to realize that my father has a great deal of shame inside of him. And his always his worry was, Am I being a good enough father? Am I being what my boys need from me? Need, am I being what my boys need from me, even though I didn't even have that? See, sometimes we got to realize we look at our parents, and our parents are trying to give us something that they haven't learned how to give themselves. Good God almighty. I don't think you hear nothing I'm saying right now. And here's what we'll do we'll look at our trauma and we'll blame them. I'm not blaming my father because the story's gonna, don't worry, there's an arc, it's gonna start to go up here in a minute. But I had to first realize he's human like me. I have my wounds, and just because he's never sat down and talked to me and he doesn't have the awareness of his wounds, that man is a man too. And him too has flaws. Him too has wounds, him too has things that make him feel less than. Even though I have unconsciously put a cape on him and he has become my super, he's superhero. This was the grieving of saying, I have to take your cape off now.

SPEAKER_00: 13:26

I have to take your cape off.

SPEAKER_01: 13:29

And by taking this cape off, I could now see him as a man. I could now see him as a human. And until you do that, you will never fully have compassion. And remember what compassion was. Compassion was the ability to suffer with compati, right? The Latin word compati means to suffer with, meaning I can put myself in his shoes and see why he's behaving this way. Now that's a great that's that's very challenging to do when you're grieving yourself. So anyway, Wednesday rolls around, it's my birthday. My mom calls on FaceTime, she's sitting at the table, and she starts singing happy birthday like she always does. And I can see a shoulder, I can see another figure that's in the picture, but it's not fully in the picture. And by at this point, I had already taken the cape off. I had already resolved what was inside of me. I had already let it go because I had gotten to the part of me who really needed to be dealt with. This little boy inside who needed daddy's validation fully, I came to him and said, No, brother, I got you. I'm the one who validates you from now on. I took that mullet cape off and I put that cape on me. And I said, I'm gonna be your Superman. So when my mother called me and my father came into the picture and he was singing happy birthday, the first thing I felt was anger. How many times has this happened? You've done the work on yourself. You're doing the work and you've healed. And you so you think you've healed, and then you see the person who may be uh the caretaker, somebody who's maybe inflicted the trauma or the wound or whatever, and then you see him and you feel resentment, you feel anger. This was me. So I got off the phone and I sat with it for a little bit. I'm like, why are you angry? Oh no, don't call me now. How many times do we do that? The ego sneak back in. No, don't call me now. Wait, wait, hold on now. I thought five minutes, five days ago you was talking about how come he ain't talking to me. And now he's talking to you, and you like, why he? I don't know who he thinks he is. We do this, don't we? You see, this is nothing more than spiritual ego. So about two minutes later, I get a call and it's him. And he calls me up.

SPEAKER_00: 15:45

And I answer the phone.

SPEAKER_01: 15:48

And he says, Hey, I want you to just listen to me here. I want you to just listen to what I have to say. And I realize what this was. I realize why all this was. See, sometimes, and I'm I'm talking to uh we we all go through this phase. Parents hear me when I say this. Eventually, if you do your job, your children will grow up to be independent human beings. Meaning they won't live life the way you want them to live it. They won't look at life the way you want them to look at it. This is how you know you have done your job. So my father, I realized the week while he was here, what he was struggling with, was that his baby boy had grown up. His baby boy could not be influenced through daddy's perspective anymore. And he was struggling with this while he was here. So when he got on the phone with me and he said, I want you to just listen to me, this was yet another element of control that he felt like he was losing. So he says to me, I just want to take this time to apologize to you. I had a conversation with your mother. Shout out to all the moms out there. I have a lot of clients and moms who do a wonderful job of creating a safe space so children can come, adult children, little children, you can come to, we can come to you and just fall in your arms and tell you what I saw. I had told my mom everything, and she said, Okay, well, let me see what's going on. So she had talked to him, and uh my dad said, I talked to you, mom, and I just want to tell you, I apologize. I apologize if I've ever done anything that has made you feel less than. I want to apologize if I've ever done anything that made you feel, oh goodness, uh, like you were unworthy or that you didn't I didn't see you. I want to apologize to you for that. That was never my intention. And I said, Okay. I said, thank you for for expressing that. Now, when he was saying this, you know what I was thinking This little boy inside of me ain't scared to speak up now. Because I'm the Superman now in his life. So I told him, I said, Hey, I just want to tell you, here I am now, 43 years old, and I've started to realize the ramifications, and I've realized what I've had to overcome because of these things that you have unconsciously projected. And here's how difficult it's been. Here's what I struggle with, and here's why. And he just sat there and listened. And it was it was kind of like one of those things where, like, no, you're gonna listen to me now. I got something to get off my chest, and I was just telling him everything. I said, When you do this, this bothers me. When you do this, this bothers me. When you do this, I feel this way. But here's what ended up happening, what I was realizing. It was that little boy inside who was speaking up. It was that little boy who was so worried. Will I be rejected? Will I get snapped on? Just like I did at that counter when I said, Well, I don't understand. What do you mean you don't understand what I'm saying? This little boy now wasn't scared to speak up. So it's one of those things where I was able to say all these things to the level that I could say them at, right? So this is December 3rd. Now, I've I would love to end this podcast now, but this podcast is not over. This podcast actually hasn't even really started yet. See, I had two more ceremonies that I had to go to, and I'm still struggling with everything, and I'm seeing stuff from my son. I'm seeing him struggle with his identity and who he is, and then me as a father trying to figure out how to guide him, but yet still how to create boundaries. And I'm watching all this stuff, and I'm like, man, how do I handle this? What do I do? So anyway, situations happen, and I get a call. And my son got into trouble at school, and I'm like, what in the f what in the world is going on? What is what in the world is going on? Now, we know that anything that's going on mentally and emotionally must show itself in the physical body. See, what I didn't tell you is back in September, my foot started hurting me. I'm like, man, why is my foot hurt? And I just kind of, you know, me, I'm I got a high threat pain threshold. I just, I'm not going to the doctor unless my foot needs to be cut off. That's the way I am. Probably, probably shouldn't be that way, but this is the way I am, right? So then what ends up happening is my foot's getting worse and it's getting worse and it's getting worse. And then I took a point where I can't even walk. It hurts. And it hurts in three spots. It hurts in three spots. Good God Almighty stay with me. It hurts in three different generations. Are you staying with me? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? These three spots represented three different generations: the past, the present, the future, the grandfather, the father, the son. The foot is responsible for moving you through life. Correct? The foot is responsible for taking you from point A to point B. And now here I am. I got a I got my foot is killing me. Why can't I move forward? Because you have these parts of you inside of you that have not been resolved within your father, within you, and now within your son. So now I leave on December 19th, going, December 20th, going down to uh Tulloom. And I got a ceremony on the 21st and the 22nd. And I'm down here in Tulloom. Now, I was supposed to go down here with a client, good God almighty, and the funny way the universe works. I was supposed to go down here with a client. And we were supposed to have these ceremonies, right? Well, the night before, I'm leaving at five in the morning. The night before, I get a text, and my client, unfortunately, her sister, who had had terminal cancer, had passed away. So she could not go. She couldn't go. And I say, why am I going down here by myself now? What is this about? So I get down there with Jesus. I'm sitting there thinking, I'm like, why, oh my goodness, for what I was about to endure, I couldn't go with nobody else. This one right here was a solo joint. This was a solo journey. You're gonna have to walk this one by yourself, buddy. So anyway, first day we're sitting here having a conversation, and Jesus was aware of what was going on and had telling him all everything that was going on within me. And I showed him my foot. And he was like, man, he's like, this is this is what is this inside of you? And I told him, I said, you know, I know everything that's going on with my father, it's really what it comes down to. My greatest fear is that I wouldn't be accepted. That's what we call rejection. My greatest fear is rejection. That was my greatest fear. And then I shut down my DG mindset community because uh just there was an evolution that was taking place. You know, I was moving from the community to the academy, and I had to tell all of these people, all 500 people, that I was shutting down the community, and then the emails and the responses that I was getting of people blatantly telling me that they weren't accepting this, and then my ego saying, we're not enough. You're being rejected. And then the triggers that it would bring up inside of me of feeling like, and then I realized, oh my goodness, all of this, all of them, everyone was really just my father. So the reason why I'm saying this is you have to first realize the first coach you've ever had, the first wound you've ever endured, the first trauma, 99.99% of the time, will be inside of your home. It will be your caretakers, those closest to you, because they were the ones who are programming you, teaching you how to accept yourself, but we were unconsciously seeking their acceptance first. So now, I have the first ceremony. Jesus told me that this brew that he gave me was going to be really rough on me. Now I've had some rough, you've heard on podcasts, I've had some rough brews. He said it's gonna be really hard on your stomach. It's probably gonna come out the front end and in the back end. I said, Lord, have mercy, please, please, please. You tell me why. That evening, ceremony's over, Jesus leaves. I didn't feel anything. I didn't purge, I didn't throw up, there's no diarrhea and vomit, nothing, nothing. And I'm laying in bed, and it's probably like 10:30 at night, and the spirit of the medicine comes to me. And I start to feel my body. It's just clenched. It's like it's like you squeeze every muscle together, and I'm asking, like, what is this? And so softly the medicine says, This is your nervous system. This is your nervous system. I'm like, I feel like this all the time. And the medicine's like, Yes. You've become so accustomed to living in survival mode that you don't even realize that you sit here clenched up. I said, okay. So then I relax. And I was like, oh my goodness, this feels so good just to relax. And the medicine's like, yes, this is how you were supposed to feel. So every time you human beings talk about relaxation, relaxation is not you laying around. Relaxation is you letting your nervous system know that it's safe. Good God Almighty, please hear me what I'm saying. All of us have something that has happened in our life for us to question whether or not we were safe. You may have dealt with neglect, you may have dealt with rejection, you may have dealt with some type of abuse. There was some trauma that had happened, and your nervous system recorded this as emotionally, we are not safe. It gets etched into your nervous system, and now this will be the program that happens. And every time that you get triggered, this is the old nervous system, the old program, the old wound coming up, and now here it is being stored in your physical body.

SPEAKER_00: 25:24

And the medicine starts to tell me rejection. Rejection. Rejection was the first wound.

SPEAKER_01: 25:36

This is why it's so important for you to accept. And I'm like, okay. So anyway, I go to bed. Next morning, Jesus texts me. He said, Hey, Jesus said, Hey, how are you feeling? How was last night? I said it was really quite uneventful. It really wanted to be. I didn't have no visions, no vomiting, no diarrhea, nothing. There was no purging. I can't believe that. And he's like, okay. So the next day we sit there and talk, and we're talking. Talk for like four hours. It's like, okay, time to drink the medicine. So I drink the medicine. And I just sat there for a while, and it was a couple hours. I just started to feel tired, and I told ACUS, I said, I think I'm ready to just lay down. You can go ahead and leave. And then we says goodbye, give him a hug, and I lay down. And then I start to get nauseous. And I run to the bathroom and purge, okay? I come back and I lay in bed. And the spirit of this medicine, the spirit of the plan, I always call it Mother Aya, comes to me and breaks it all down. She said, You have a choice now. You could get over the fear of rejection. Or you can become okay with being rejected. I don't think y'all are hearing anything I'm saying right now. I'm gonna just go ahead and say that. I don't think you really picking up what I'm dropping off. You have a choice. You could overcome the fear that doesn't actually exist, or you could accept the fact that people don't accept all parts of you. You could accept the part of being rejected. You could accept the part of somebody uh uh not seeing you for all that you actually are. See, when you move through acceptance, that's what we call love. See, love was nothing more than unconditional acceptance without judgment. When you can start to move from that from the energy of acceptance, now nothing has power over you. So the medicine starts this recalibration of my nervous system. Here's what it kept saying to myself I'm okay with being rejected now because I'm safe. I'm okay with not being liked because I'm safe. I'm okay with you not agreeing with me because I'm safe. I'm okay with you not uh uh agreeing with me because I'm safe. I'm okay with you not wanting to be in a relationship because I'm safe. Do you see? Do you see how this works? So everything in your life, if you add the if you come with the energy of acceptance, I'm okay with blank happening, and you add behind it, because I am safe, your nervous system can now say, we ain't gotta hold on to this anymore. We ain't gotta keep walking in this energy of trauma. We don't have to keep holding on to this neglect and being afraid to put ourselves out there and being afraid to share our gifts with the world and being afraid to take the next step and start that company. We ain't gotta worry about that no more because bare minimum we're safe. And this is all it was. This is all it was. The mind will hold on to something if what it perceives will keep it safe. So my mind, my which got then got etched in my nervous system, but my mind was saying if we aren't rejected and we create a fear around rejection, we'll be safe.

SPEAKER_00: 28:54

And now, this cleansing, this purification of my nervous system was now embodied.

SPEAKER_01: 29:06

Now, some of y'all may be seeing on social media. You see, I got a sweatshirt with a jaguar on it. There's a picture behind me, there's a jaguar on it. My ceremonies earlier this summer basically was like you're moving from the black panther, the black jaguar, to the golden jaguar. And I one of my intentions was I want to get rid of whatever's in front of me, whatever's stopping me. And I did that, which is rejection, right? That's the biggest fear that I had, really, the rejection of my father, right? But then I was like, what do I have to do to become the golden jaguar? So I'm sitting here having a conversation with Jesus. And I told Jesus, Jesus says, What do you want to do? I said, honestly, this is gonna sound weird, but like, I just want to draw jaguars all day. And he was like, he started laughing. I'm like, why are you laughing at me? He said, When you said it was weird, I thought you were gonna say something like, I want to draw jaguars with poop or mud or blood or something. He's like, What's so weird about you wanting to draw jaguars? I was like, I don't know. I was like, I want to go down to Brazil and I want to see jaguars in person. He goes, Why do you like jaguars so much? I said, because I love what they embody. They're, they're, they're different. They they they go beyond the norm. Most cats, most big cats don't like water, but they love the water. I like the way they jump on top of prey. They'll take down prey way bigger than them in a in a in a uh an environment like water that they're not really accustomed to, like a crocodile would be. He said, Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 30:32

He said, Do you know that jaguars are very lazy? I was like, huh? He goes, Yes. Where I'm from, there are jaguars.

SPEAKER_01: 30:42

And he said the name, I forgot how he said in Spanish, but he was like, We call them the lazy cats. They love to just sit in trees. They love to just lay around all day. Yes, they hunt, but we know them as being lazy cats. I said, What are you saying? Good God Almighty, here's what he says. This was pre-ceremony now, before Mother Aya told me about any rest. She goes, he goes, You need to start learning how to rest. This is what it meant to embody the golden jaguar was knowing how to be, quote unquote, consciously lazy. Not lazy in the way that you humans have created it. Laziness means, resting means being able to let your nervous system relax because it knows it's safe. So I'm speaking to you right now in 2026. I don't care what's going on in your life, I don't care what life looks like, just know that you are safe now. If you can hear these words, you are safe. You're not where you used to be. You're not in that situation that you were wondering how you were gonna make it out of. You are safe now. Let your nervous system relax. So he told me, he said, why don't you start doing things that allow you to relax? So I went on Amazon when I got back and I bought a puzzle. You know it was a Jaguar. You knew I bought a puzzle, it was a Jaguar, you know that. But I just sat there and I was doing the puzzle. And I was like, oh my goodness, this feels so aligned. Now anybody knows Maria. Maria Frijal, right? Maria's part of the academy. She helps out. She's a she's on uh team with DG Team DG Mindset. But anyway, she was in her ceremony back in uh October, she kept telling me, she's like, I was being told you have to rest to receive. Rest and receive, rest and receive. Now it hits different. You will always receive when you rest, you all. Let me go ahead and tie this up for you. You will always receive when you rest. You will always receive when you are rested. Remember what rest meant? Rest is your nervous system knowing that it's safe. Your nervous system can't rest until it knows that it's safe. And when it knows it's safe, that means you're not living in survival. When I'm not living in survival, I'm not living in lack. When I'm not living in lack, I'm not coming from scarcity. I'm not coming from this place of I have to or I need to. You're coming from a place of abundance, and now you are in alignment in divine order with this universe. Do you hear what I'm saying? So this is why it was so important for you to allow yourself to rest. So you could receive. So now I come back home. But before I left, Jesus told me, he goes, start resting more. Start allowing your nervous system to just rest. And then you will become and embody the golden jaguar. And then he says this to me, and I'll always remember this as long as I can uh live. He goes, You are healing and taking care of a lot. Go home and rest. Give yourself what you need and take care of your kittens. Now when he said take care of your kittens, it sounded like he was talking about my children. He was talking about all those children inside of me. Taking care of all those wounded childs inside of me. Go back and take care of them. Deal with them. Nurture them. Let them rest. So now I get back. I get back home. It's right before Christmas. My father calls me. And my father is just kind of short on the phone. And I said, What's going on? What's what's on you? He said, I just sitting around thinking about everything that we talked about. And you know, just, you know, he said, I just. He said, You it just, it was never my intention. He said, I didn't realize all the things that you were telling me that that this was what was coming up. I didn't realize all of these things that this is what it was it was making you feel. He's like, that was never my intention. I said, Yes, I know, Father. And I know this is a difficult conversation, but please understand that this is how things get healed. By you sitting and listening to things from my perspective, and now you're hearing how I receive your words. And by me being able to listen to you and hear how you felt when you were saying these things, we now can instead of trying to agree, we can start to understand each other better. And I know you weren't actually coming from a place of malice. And you know that I wasn't actually being sensitive. It was just a classic projection of unconscious wounds. That if we don't have these conversations and we don't deal with them and we don't feel with them, they will get passed down to the generation coming below. So I use this example. I say, you know, growing up, when I did something wrong, you used a belt. You spanked me. And this was accepted. This was okay. And he said, Yeah. I said, if I ever used a belt on my children, you'd go crazy. And he goes, Yeah, I know. I said, Do you see? See how your awareness expanded? You weren't okay back then. Sorry, it was okay back then, but now it's not okay. This means you've grown. I said, So I'm telling you right now, things that you used to do, you used to say to me, they used to be quote unquote okay, but I'm telling you right now they're not okay anymore because I've grown and you're growing. And this is what adults do. We can have conversations. We can sit here and talk it out. We don't have to pass down this trauma, sweep it under the rug. Yes, this is uncomfortable. And I've dealt with the realization that if you don't talk to me anymore, then this is what it is. But see, when you come to that understanding and you're able to sit down and hold your light and hold your energy, we can start having productive conversations because I'm just expressing how I feel now, and I didn't actually need your approval. I didn't need your acceptance. So the reason why I'm telling you all this is healing generational trauma first starts with you. As always. I knew it started with me. I had to reconcile this within me first. I had to fix this within me. I had to deal with this within me. And it was a grieving, it was hard, it was painful, it hurt. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you all and tell you it didn't. It was painful. You know, the pain when you lose your appetite and you don't want to eat and you just want to crawl up in the bed and cry all day. You know that pain, the real pain, and you still gotta go to work, and you just like, I don't even want to go to work, and you go to work and you got a frown on your face all day, and you just keep thinking, how can I get through today? That type of pain. But we know where there is pain, there will be progress.

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Where there is pain, there is growth that is taking place.

SPEAKER_01: 37:28

So for everybody out here who's dealing with this, any type of generational trauma, I saw something the other day where uh I forgot who was interviewing and talking about like estrange children. They don't talk to their family, haven't talked to their family in years, ten years, five years. And now every situation's different, obviously. But please understand it was never about the other person in your family. That's not what it was about. It was about the reconciliation of you. And I told my father, I said, look, this is what's supposed to happen in relationships. We're evolving. Our relationship will never be what it was. And that's not a bad thing. I now know that I don't need your acceptance. I don't need your approval. I don't need your validation, truly. Like, not not intellectually knowing it. It is in my nervous system now. That doesn't mean that I love you any less, though. And this is what ends up happening to somebody, some people who are wounded, who have unconscious wounds. The unconscious person will think because you love yourself more now, that means that you love them less. And that is not necessarily true. Me loving myself more does not mean that I love you less. We have an infinite well of love that we can give. And really, you loving yourself now more is really you loving them more. Because now they're getting the version of you that's whole, that's not dependent on their validation, that's not dependent on their acceptance. And eventually there's an acclamation period. It's gonna take a little while for them to get used to it. But now their relationship can come from a higher vibration, a higher frequency of love instead of this pseudo-love, this toxic codependency. So for everybody out there, I know it's sometimes hard when you have to heal and deal with things that have been projected and passed down, but I'm here to give you some encouragement. Just keep going. It was never about nobody outside of you anyway. It was always about you. It was about you getting to a point where you accept all parts of you in all facets, all traumas, all wounds, all of these things were a part of your journey. So got a couple, couple spots here left. I think we got like four spots left for our retreat uh in May. Two-day ceremony. Um keep it small. We're only having eight people. We have four right now signed up. We're only gonna have eight people. There's two ceremonies, so it's back to back. So uh I want to make sure that everybody gets the support that they need. Um because it it's It's transformational. So I just wanted to tell you that in uh DG Mindset Academy. We got a new semester starting here, January 19th. You might want to get yourself signed up because we're going to talk about money. We're going to really talk about money. The real part of money, not the not the paper money and how much you got in your account. The uncomfortable part of money, the psychological wounds, the programs, the paradigms that keep us stuck financially. But I hope 2026 has been amazing for you thus far. I hope you continue to grow and evolve, and uh you know the deal with me. As always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.