Stop Playing Small And Move Like It Is Done

We use youth basketball and the WNBA draft to show how fear of messing up quietly controls decisions and how self-belief flips performance fast. We share the mindset tools we teach our kids and our clients so you can act with freedom, validate yourself, and build an identity life can match. 
•Fatherhood as reparenting ourselves with awareness 
•Sports as a microcosm of life and business 
•Choosing energy and freedom over perfection 
•Letting go of fear of mistakes to take risks 
•Affirmation system and celebration system for resilience 
•The 25 jump rope theory as proof of capability 
•Second fiddle syndrome and becoming number one internally 
•Moving as if it is already done and trusting universal laws 
Here’s my challenge to you for the rest of 2026 and beyond. Become number one in your life. Become the one. 

If you are a business owner, founder, coach, healer, or business professional, then the Embodied Leadership Collective is for you. Helping you grow your business on the outside, by becoming the CEO of your life on the inside. 

Find out more here

Transcript

You Are Limitless

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, Derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to Your Results Podcast.

unknown 0:25

Bro.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Your Results Podcast. It is your boy DG. You know, I uh I always enjoy sharing stories with you all. It's so funny when I like travel to go places. When I'm at home, I don't go anywhere. I don't uh if you see me somewhere, I'm like, where's Waldo? I literally don't leave my house when I'm at home. Uh but when I leave, I have to go somewhere, whether it's the airport or somewhere, and somebody would be like, oh, I listen to your stuff or I watch your stuff and I love your stories about your kids. So I've I really enjoy being a father for multiple

Fatherhood As Reparenting Yourself

SPEAKER_00 1:08

reasons. But the reason why I enjoy being a father probably more than anything is because I realize that being a father is really me parenting myself again. Right? So being able to go back and do things differently than maybe how I was raised, but also doing things in a way that uh doing it from the awareness and the work that I've had on myself to be able to see what's beneficial, what's not in a child, to see that patterns and programs don't get repeated. So um I take it, I don't like to say it's a job, but I take it very seriously. I'm constantly wondering, like, how do I be better? How do I be better? I love sports. And the reason why I love sports is because sports is just a microcosm of life. Um, the same attributes that are needed in sports are the same attributes that are needed in life. I just look at, I look at life, I look at business as just one big basketball game. That's all it is. And uh it was so funny because I went to uh a client, um, I had two clients that were uh in the WNBA draft, and I went to New York City to go see them. And one of them went uh number two, uh, the other one I think went like 17 or 18th. Um, but I've known these girls since they were 18 years old, and now here they are, 23 years old, and they're getting drafted. I knew in relative terms, they were babies. Like literally one of them. I've known her since her first day she was on campus. I was literally on campus when she went to she was playing at Notre Dame. And I've gotten to see them and walk with them to help them grow and learn and realize that, like, man, if I had known what I'm teaching you now at your age, wow, life would have been so now I know it's on me now to teach it, to give it to you, right? Self-awareness, how to love yourself, how to accept yourself. And one of my clients, she was uh, she was she went through a really hard time, right? Really, really tough time. And I was there to help her because I knew what it's like to go through a tough time. I knew what it's like when you feel like you're alone. So my life experiences, I was able to take them and shed uh share them with her. But they uh when I went to the draft, I got it was I've learned I learned something about myself. Things that stressed me out is when I feel like I got to be two places at once. And I didn't know this until I went to the draft, but like I got in that day, the draft was at seven, both parties were at nine o'clock after the draft to celebrate them, and I'm like, dang, I gotta be at two places at one time. How am I gonna do this? And I had to have a conversation with myself and say, look, you're gonna be wherever your feet are, so you might as well just be wherever your feet are. So uh me and Carly, we coordinated it, able to go to both of them. But I went in there, and when I went in there, a guy saw me, and I saw him, and I'm like, man, this dude looks familiar. And he's like, yo, D. I'm like, yo, what's up? This guy, I haven't seen him since my literally my last high school

Sports As A Mirror Of Life

SPEAKER_00 3:55

basketball game. He was the guy who guarded me. He played in my conference. I hadn't seen him since I was 18 years old. I saw him, we talked for a while, and he said something to me. He goes, he goes, back and he's like, who was your trainer growing up? Like, who who like trained you in basketball? I'm like, trainer? What are you talking about? It was me. It was me, a ball, a hoop, and a wall in the gym. I used to throw the ball at the wall, and that was my pass, and I'd shoot it, get my rebound, and walk back to half court and do it again. I said, I did. I would just watch games. I watched Kobe Bryant, I would study Michael Jordan. I watched these guys and just watched with a level of detail. He goes, You could tell you really studied Kobe. He said, You could tell the detail. He's like, even back then you could see it. I'm like, dang, really? I didn't even know that I did that. Dang. Anyway, the reason why I'm saying this is because I've always, Carly says it's a gift, but I've always looked at the smallest details. The smallest details. I've always wanted to know why and how. So now here I am doing this in other people's lives. And I'm doing it in my own life. More importantly, I got these two little children, right? So uh I tell you that Sherry's story is the chronicles of Hudson Grant when we go to the you know basketball and everything. And uh he's probably got a seven, eight-year head start on me in terms of like development and advancement because I'm teaching him everything, and he's he's so his learning

Coaching Hudson Past Fear

SPEAKER_00 5:20

curve is a way uh quicker than mine. But uh we had a tournament, and the first game, we only had five people. We only had five people all weekend, but we only had five people in the first game. I think he shot the ball like six times. No, I can understand from for his role and his position on team, you can't shoot six times. And we won, right? We still won the game. But it wasn't about him shooting six times. Well, it had nothing to do with it. I don't care if you shoot the ball two times, you shoot the ball 40 times. I really don't care. It was about the energy behind. It wasn't about what you did, it was about how you did it. Now, I told you a story about over the last two weeks. We've been really, I've upped his training to the point where he he goes to that dark place and it's really challenging, it's really hard, you know, like David Goggins type stuff. And I told him, I said, look, when you get in games, games should be easy. Well, he got in this first game, and I'm sitting on the I'm an assistant coach, so I'm sitting on the bench and I know him. I know him all too well. I know him, and I'm saying, Lord have mercy. We're gonna still do this, huh? We still gonna do this. You still gonna do things because you're afraid. Or you won't do things because you're afraid. You won't shoot the ball because you're afraid to. We're still doing this, huh? Even after all this, we still all these conversations. So after the first game, we're in this crowded gym. Carly wasn't there, she couldn't make it. Or she she had she had left. I said, Come here. Let me talk to you real quick. Come here, Hudson. I said, I don't really care who's around right now. Me and you gonna have a conversation. And please hear me when I say this, okay? I don't care about what you do. The only thing that matters is the energy behind it. And we start having a conversation. He starts opening up and he's like, I was, I was afraid, like, uh uh, uh, I didn't want to mess up. I didn't say, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay. You might as well get that out of your vocabulary about messing up. We all mess up. Daddy messes up, mom messes up, everybody messes up. Messing up is a part of life. Listen what it says. It says messing up, messing up, messing up. When you mess, you will go up. It's not called messing down, it's called messing up. Messing up is a part of this universe's way to ensure that evolution takes place. So you are afraid to mess up. You can't be afraid to mess up. You must take risks, you must take challenges. I said, here's the deal. You ready? Don't nobody care if you mess up. Nobody cares if you miss. Nobody cares. The only one who cares is you. So stop thinking you gotta be perfect. Please and thank you. And when I said please and thank you, he knew what that meant. Uh-oh, Daddy ain't playing around. Daddy's serious. I told him, I said, look, you know we got about an hour and a half ride home. And I know you do not want to hear me for the next hour and a half. I know you don't. So here's my advice. Here's my advice. Stop worrying about if you mess up. Just go out there and be free. Be free. I never say anything to you about making shots or you dribbling, nothing. It's always about make sure you are being who you truly are. When you are doing something passively, you're not being who you are. You're afraid to step in the version of you that's needed. And I said, quite frankly, honestly, we're lucky we won, but this team needs you to be who you are. So I won't fill in the details of how and what I said, but for all my fathers out there, you know that sometimes you just gotta be a little bit firm, a little bit stern, and a little bit kind all in one, right? So we get done having our talk. And uh having a talk with Carly, and I'm like, I don't know what it's gonna be. I have no idea the next game. I have no idea. I had a conversation, I think he got it. He understood loud and clear. We've had this conversation before. In the next game, he looked like a completely different person. And I asked him after the game, I said, What was it? What was it? Because we had an hour and a half ride. He said, Well, I just thought about how I don't want to hear you talk on the way home. I said, Listen, man, whatever it takes, if that's what it tastes, then fine. I'm okay with that. I told him, I said, you know what's funny you say that? Because I remember I used to do the same thing with grandma. Grandma used to be fussing on me. Do this, do that, do this. And finally, you know what I said to myself? I said, you know what? I'm gonna do everything so good and so perfect and so right, she ain't gonna have nothing to say. And sure enough, she didn't have anything to say. But I told him this. I said, Do you know why? Do you know why I'm doing this? He's like, so I can be a better basketball player. I said, hell no. No, it just don't have nothing to do with you being a basketball player. I'm teaching you life right now. I'm teaching you life. There's gonna be times when you're afraid. There's gonna be times when you're afraid to mess up. There's gonna be times when you're scared, like, what if I mess up? My whole family's dependent on me. My kids are dependent. There's gonna be times when you go through that. I'm telling you right now, that fear will be there, but that doesn't mean that you can't go at it head on. And here's what I told him: I said, listen, if you play well, you don't play well, we win, we lose, it really don't matter because you're always gonna be good in life. Sometimes you got to remind yourself of that. Sometimes you gotta remind yourself that I'm always gonna be good, I'm always gonna be okay. I told him, I said, you're gonna have a roof over your head, you're gonna have food on table, you can have clothes on your back. This is just a game. That's all it is. I'm talking to you right now, if you can hear me. You over here worry about so much stuff. Do you not realize that this is just a game? Why do you think they call it a game of life? It's just a game. And you know what? When you cross back over to the other side, and I'm gonna be over there waiting for you, because you know we part of the same soul cluster family in some way, shape, or form. I may be on the outskirts, but the fact that you listen to this podcast, I'm gonna be waiting for you right on the other side. Like, see? I'm gonna be like this, mouth puckered up like this. See, I told you. Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you this was a game? I tried to tell you how many episodes. We even went six seasons, and I tried to tell you this. And I told him, I said, listen, buddy, you're gonna be good. Remind yourself of this. Shoot that ball, take that move, get to the basket, tell yourself I'm still gonna be good even if I mess up. You know what we call that? We call that affirming ourselves. See, there's some things that we gotta do if we're gonna step into who we truly are. You're gonna mean to make sure that you have uh uh uh an affirmation system, and you're gonna have to make sure that you got a celebration system. Cause here's the deal Life's gonna beat you up a little bit. That's why you gotta be able to affirm yourself. You gotta be able to uh celebrate yourself, you gotta be able to encourage yourself. So he played well the second game. Next day he played well the third game, fourth game played well, we won. I told him, I said, Look, I don't have a bell, but when we get home, you're gonna ring that bell. Not for me, for yourself. You need to make sure that you're proud of yourself. You need to make sure that you honor yourself. I said, Do you feel proud? He's like, Yeah, I do feel proud of myself. I said, Why do you feel proud? He said, because I did what was really hard. I said, respect. I see you. Because I know how hard it is. For you to turn around in a matter of an hour and shift your mind into a completely different frequency, a completely different energy. I looked at him, I said, son, this is why I do the things at the level I do them with you because I know that you're capable. Just because you don't know that you're

The 25 Jump Rope Theory

SPEAKER_00 13:10

capable yet doesn't mean that you can't do it. So I always tell him, I said, the 25 jump rope theory, 25 jump rope theory, and he knows what it means. Y'all don't know what a 25 jump rope theory is. When he was uh 10 years old, nine years old, took him outside on the back patio. I said, we're gonna learn how to do some footwork, you're gonna learn how to jump rope. And he would jump rope, but his he was growing and his knees were hurting. So he would favor his left knee. So he wouldn't put any weight on it. And I said, You're gonna do 25 jump ropes on your left leg. He's like, I can't do it. I said, well, that language can't be used. Okay. Just because you haven't doesn't mean you can't. So rephrase that, please, and thank you. Uh so he started doing it. And I'm not, I'm not exaggerating, y'all. It probably took him 35 minutes. 35 minutes. 35 minutes of wrestling with his own mind. The mind saying, we can't do this. This is unfamiliar. This is hard. And I had to sit out there and I said, nope, you're gonna do it again. He'd get the jump rope and slam it down on the ground, get mad, take a shirt off, then he'd start jumping rope. You ever jump rope with a shirt off and that or or or or expose skin and that jump rope pops you on the back or something, or hits you on the leg, and that thing snaps and feels like a whip just cracked you. Then he's gonna throw even more of a fit. But then here's the deal. Eventually, he did it. He did it. And he still remembers to this day. He remembers how proud he felt. He remembers like the accomplishment. So I always tell him, I said, listen, the 25 jump rope theory. Remember when you thought you couldn't do it, but you did it? This is no different. So I hope that you use this weekend as proof for you moving forward that even when you think you can't, you can. So we might as well think that we can on the front end. We might as well, you hear what I'm saying? You might as well think that you can grow that business. You might as well think that you can do that. You might as well, because here's the deal cost the same. It costs the same. Hear me when I say this. It costs the same to think that you can or you cannot do something. It costs the same.

WNBA Draft Lessons On Identity

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Now let me go back here to these two clients that got drafted. So one of the clients who went number two, you know, and you can probably figure it out if you go look it out, but look up who went number two. But her whole theme in her life was that she was number two. She was number two. She was always number two. She was a second-ranked player in the high schools. Number two, number two, number two. And I said, Oh, you got second fiddle syndrome. Enough people tell you that number two you're number two. Guess what you're gonna start doing? You're gonna start thinking that you're number two. Enough people tell you that you ain't number one, you gonna start to think that you, you gonna think that you number one, you number two. And see, there's nothing wrong with everybody else thinking that you're number two. The issue is when you think that you're number two. Hear me when I say this. Get this, let this sizzle on your spirit. If you're driving, pull over real quick, close your eyes. You are number one. You have always been number one. You always will be number one. Just because the world doesn't see it, that didn't mean that you weren't number one. And you need to affirm yourself of this. Not just when things are going good, tell yourself I am number one. I am the one. So for the last year, we've been working on this, right? And last year she could have gone to the draft, but she was projected number two. I said, let's work on and it bothered her that she was number two. I said, Well, let's work on you being number one then. We started this journey, you know, healing and all this. Took us through the whole gamut, right? And then she started to see that she was number one. Now Free knows she's Big 12 player of the year. She set all these school records, like crazy, wild stuff, right? Uh just unbelievable year. Now the draft is here. And she goes number two. She goes number two. Now the world is saying, well, it didn't work then. She still was number two. No, no, no, no, no. See, in her mind, she was number one now. Yeah, the world said she was number two, but that didn't matter anymore. So the draft is crazy, right? I wouldn't say I just went there to support. I didn't actually get to see him at the draft. And then we go to this little place, uh, what's it where the party was and everything? We go in there, and she didn't come for probably another 30 minutes. So and she showed up and to see all the people, all the family that have supported her along the journey, and people, her soccer coach in second grade, and like all these people telling, like, yo, I we knew back then she was gonna be special. And everybody at the everybody at the draft wore like dresses and gowns. It looks like the prom, but she didn't. She wore pants. She wore a suit jacket. She didn't do her hair like everybody else. She wore hair like that. It's her. It's her. This is her. And I said, this is how I know she's number one now in her mind. See, when you know you're number one, you're gonna be who you are, and you don't give a fk what nobody thinks about you. Matter of fact, you can go kick some motherfucking cans. You hear what I'm saying? You can go kick them things down the road. I'm gonna be me. And if you got a problem with it, I know it's just because you ain't being you. So when she showed up to the party, I like to think of myself like Batman. I'm like Bruce Wayne. Nah, I'm more like Batman. But I like to stay in the back, right? I like to stay in the back. I don't like, nobody really knows what I do. I'm trying to, sometimes it conflicts with business because no people have no idea. But I like to just stay in the back, right? So all these people are coming up to her family and everybody's supporting her. But I'm like, I gotta get to this other uh uh draft party. I'm like, so I gotta hurry up and let me scoot up to the front so I can see it, right? So she sees it, she's saying hello to everybody and hugging and kissing and signing things and everything, and then she sees me. She gives me a hug. Now we're in this place, there's probably 150 people in here. Cameras are all on us, and she gives me a hug. I'm about to start crying. And I said, You did it.

unknown 19:22

You did it.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

You did it. She said, No, we did it. I said, No, no, no, no, no, no. I just told you where to put the shovel. You the one who did the digging. You the one. I always saw you as number one. You had to see yourself as number one. I said, You did it. And he just starts crying. She just breaks down and starts crying. And everybody's like just staring at us, right? And I say, you should be so proud of yourself. You should be so proud of yourself. And it doesn't matter about you being number two, number three, and number four. Cool, you accomplished your dream. You don't matter. You finally see yourself. You see yourself. And that's why you're crying right now. Because the version of you who didn't see herself is leaving. She's coming out. She's purging. I said, I'm so proud of you, but I hope that you are so proud of yourself. She said, I am. She said, I am proud of myself. I said, You enjoy this leg of the journey now. You know I'm always gonna be here. You wouldn't you enjoy this leg of the journey. And know that for you to get to the next level, you're gonna have to let go of this version of you, but for now, let's just celebrate. And I left. And I went to uh my other client, went to her party, and it was the same thing. It was the same thing. I said, You remember? You remember? And here's the deal, you ready? She wasn't on anybody's draft board. And she got drafted. And she was worried. She's like, I'm not on anybody's draft board about a month after. She's like, no, no, no. I said, it don't matter. The universe doesn't go by what man thinks. You ain't trying to hear nothing I'm saying. I said, you know, good. Don't you try to? We've been working way too long together for you to start all of a sudden start abandoning everything that we already know about this universe. These laws are immutable. I said, don't go by what some man at ESPN say. Don't worry about what they say. You are creating your reality. I say your job is just to move as if you are already there. Good God Almighty. And I have to tell you this, y'all, because I'm about to start crying again. She wasn't on no draft boards. She wasn't on anybody's draft boards. Nobody. But she still went to the draft. Because she told herself when I was a little girl, I dreamed of walking across that stage. I dreamed of shaking the commissioner's hand and holding up that jersey. And she still went to the draft, y'all. She still went and wasn't on. Nobody's draft board. Now hear me when I say this. If you go to the draft and you ain't on nobody's draft board because you remember being a little girl saying, I just want to walk across that stage and shake the commissioner's hand, that's you moving as if you already knew you was gonna get drafted. And sure enough, this universe, and here's the beauty about the universe. The universe is obedient to whatever identity that you hold. Do you hear what I'm saying? Whatever identity you hold, the old universe says, Well, then go on then. Go and be it then. We're gonna match you. And sure enough, they called her name. And she went up on stage. The joy that jolted my body. I didn't know what else to do. I grabbed Carly by the arm. I said, She did it. She did it. She did it. She did what? She got drafted? No, no, no, no. She had fully stepped into the identity of who she had to become to do something that she had never done. Now, here's the cool part. We're at the draft party, and uh first, they're both the she's from Canada, and her her brother obviously is from Canada. Her brother plays in the NBA. She plays in the WNBA, the first Canadian brother and sister ever to play in the WNBA in the NBA, right? So I'm just sitting there as always, you know, I'm quiet. I'm not really the party type. Everybody's dancing everything. I'm just me and Carly just sitting there off in a corner and we're sitting there. And this lady starts talking to me. She goes, Who, like, so who are you? How do you know? And I'm like, and her brother was there, and her brother's one of my clients, so we were sitting there talking. I was like, oh, I know, I know her because uh I'm her mindset coach, her and her brother. She's like, oh, wow. She's like, that is very important. She's like, I used to be the manager for the team that her mother played for in college. And her mother used to always have like these meetings with the players and telling them that you have to visualize your future. And she used to teach them the power of belief. I said, oh my goodness. This young lady was already getting this at home. So the reason why I'm saying this, there's a lot of things that play in to people reaching levels that we see in this world that we have no idea. I'm telling you right now, if you have children, I highly advise you to start teaching them how to believe in themselves, how to know that their beliefs will create their reality, because here's the beauty of it reality is so obedient to whoever you believe you are. It is crazy. And I told this other client, I said, I gotta get ready to go to bed because I got an early flight. But I said, Congratulations. You know I'm telling you congratulations, not because of whatever everybody else was saying. I'm saying congratulations because of this new life that you're in now. I know how hard you worked, I know how what time and resources and energy that you've invested. I know that there were times when it didn't look like it was going to happen, but please, for at least today, celebrate yourself. Celebrate yourself. And I'll see you here uh probably later this week. So for everybody here, I'm telling you this.

Become Number One In Your Life

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Yeah, I'm I'm just taking everything that I've done in my life and sharing it with clients and I'm teaching my children. And I'm starting to find one thing that seems to be consistent no matter what the walk of life is. It's not until you fully give yourself permission, regardless of the fear, regardless of what the circumstances may look like, regardless of the risk, until you fully give yourself permission to step into who it is that you want to be. And I'm not saying step into it on piece of paper, I'm talking about in your actions fully. Life is going to eventually catch up to you. And it may take three years, may take two years, may take three months, shoot, it may take three days. I don't know. But really the time is irrelevant. Your job is to make sure that each and every moment you are moving as if it is already done. For whatever ye ask for in prayer, believe that you have already received it, and it will be yours. Notice what what that scripture said. It didn't say it was going to be yours in two days or two. It said it will be yours. It will eventually be yours. And I see this happen so often. We get discouraged. It doesn't look like it's going to happen, and then we give up. These laws are immutable. They're immutable, meaning they don't change. These are laws of the s uh uh the spirit of this universe, and they don't discriminate, they treat everybody the same. So if you think that you can't do something, it won't happen. So that client that I told you then she went number two. It's easy to say, well, the goal of being number one didn't happen. Yeah, you could say that, but we have to go just a layer deeper. You didn't really want to be number one. You didn't give you care. You didn't want to be number one draft pick. That wasn't it. You wanted to be number one internally, and you were using the external as a way to uh measure that. Please know that you can be number one and come in last. You can be number one and come in third. As long as you are number one in your life, meaning you accept yourself without conditions. Meaning you uh you don't need anybody to validate you because you can validate yourself. Long as you approve of yourself just as the way you are, but you're constantly on a journey to figure out who you are to become the next version of you and you're evolving and growing, long as you're number one in your life, life will have to match that. So here's my challenge to you for the rest of 2026 and beyond. Become number one in your life. Become the one. And here's the beauty of it. When you become the one, or number one, you do then become the one, the absolute, the all, the principle, God, the source, the creator. You become it in the form of you, and then here's the beauty of it: beauty. You start to see the beauty of life, the beauty of everyone else. You see the one in everyone else. You see the one, even when they don't see the one in themselves, and you become a beacon of hope. You become a beacon of inspiration, you become a uh a lighthouse. People will naturally gravitate towards you. Man, I just love you. You just, uh people are saying she had the best fit. What do they call them fit? She had the best outfit of the draft. No, that ain't it. Y'all got to see somebody truly be who they were. And I know y'all don't have the awareness spiritually to understand really what you're seeing. But what you're seeing really is self-acceptance in the form of her outfit. You're seeing self-validation, you're seeing self-love in the form of her outfit. And here's the deal. Whenever we see that, we will always say that it's a thing of beauty. So go out there. Didn't Rihanna have a song? I'm not gonna do it for copyright. You the one, you don't want, no, no, no, da da da. I don't know how it goes. You know what I'm talking about. I mean, that's what I listen to. Be the one. You the one. Be number one in your life. And you know, as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.