How do you divine?

FEAR| Fueling Faith and Unshakable Persistence in Uncertain Times with Tracy Christian

• How do you divine? • Season 3 • Episode 10

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In this inspiring episode, Tracy Christian shares her remarkable journey from navigating the entertainment industry to co-founding her talent agency, TCA. Tracy discusses the pivotal moments that shaped her career, from leveraging early opportunities to overcoming fears and societal barriers. She explores the concept of faith and its role in her decision-making process, emphasizing the power of perseverance and the importance of moving forward despite uncertainties. Tracy also delves into the personal and professional support systems that bolstered her success, highlighting the significance of taking bold actions and dreaming big. Join us for this motivating conversation that underscores the impact of faith, hard work, and embracing one's true potential.

Please continue to support Tracy by purchasing her great design at  https://santegrace.com


Thank you for listening and for always adding new dimensions to your definitions. Keep growing, keep exploring, and keep defining life on your terms.🌐 Explore the new website www.howdoyoudivine.com
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Meet our Founder & Host 🎙️
Sanika is a storyteller, communicator, and creator passionate about exploring self-discovery, culture, and the power of words. With a background in technology and marketing communications; she has built a platform dedicated to authentic conversations that inspire growth, challenge perspectives, and amplify voices.

As the host of How Do You Divine?, she invites listeners to redefine meaning, embrace transformation, and navigate life—one word at a time. Her mission? To create space for reflection, empowerment, and deeper connections through storytelling.



Speaker 2:

Hi. Thank you for having me.

Speaker:

Listen, we had to make this happen because I feel like who you are and your story is really aspiring, right. But I also feel like throughout your journey, you've, you've learned so much that our community can grow from.

Speaker 2:

First of all, I want everyone to know. How this came, not just how this came about, but we are in the back of a restaurant, right When we finish this meeting, this dialogue, she's gonna hop in my car. I'm driving her to the airport. We're in Los Angeles. She lives across the country. The idea that you live in New York, you were out here on business. Yep. We met. Before her flight takes off from la Yes. I love how flexible Johnny on the spot she's got her equipment. Yes. Listen,

Speaker:

I always say I don't have to get ready. I stay ready. Night shift

Speaker 2:

a word. Okay. I don't to a total word. She's not lying.

Speaker:

Listen, I have my three camera points set up. You guys are gonna see and enjoy this interview, but I don't, she

Speaker 2:

showed me her setup. I am impressed. Okay. I am impressed.

Speaker:

Thank you. Because I also think that we think there's so many barriers for entry to, to create a brand and to show up in the world in the way that you want to. Where most of that is in our head. Right. And. I think you're gonna walk us through that today by sharing how the definition of fair has changed over the course of your life. But ultimately, I do things like this to show people that if there is a crack in the door, baby, I'm busting in waving a fall. Fall. Like I'm not, I'm want to always show up as my full self. Am I always like a hundred percent prepared? No. But am I also a hundred percent qualified? Absolutely. And I move off of that,

Speaker 2:

you know, there's an old saying that says 90% of success is showing up.

Speaker 3:

Mm.

Speaker 2:

And um, the person who can figure out how to show up Yeah. Always wins.

Speaker:

Aw,

Speaker 2:

always.

Speaker:

Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Say thank you. And so for me, that's what I'm always like, I don't wanna, if there is a barrier, it won't be me. If there's a barrier, it won't be me. So tell us more about you, your agency, your clothing line. Who is Tracy Christian?

Speaker 2:

So I have a talent agency called TCA and we represent mostly actors, but producers, writers, directors. We have a styling division, um, and we've been in business now. For almost 17 years. Mm-hmm. Um, and it's been fantastic. Um, how did I get into the entertainment industry? Yeah. So I was friends with a director named John Singleton. Uh, and I was very close to, you know, his assistant, uh, Joe Doherty, and we were just kind of hanging out one day and I said, Hey, graduating college, what do you guys think I would be good at? What should I do for a living? And John said, you should either be a madam or an agent.

Speaker:

What a swing.

Speaker 2:

What a swing. Right. And I thought, okay, I look cute and orange, but I don't wanna wear it all the time.

Speaker:

You know? So I don't want my man, my bills playing for me.

Speaker 2:

Right? So, uh, maybe I'll do this agent thing. And John was, you know, very popular at the time. Yeah. Um. Uh, boys in the hood had just come out, so he arranged a meeting for me and, uh, at his agency, CAA and, and I knew that I could get a position there just because of who John was, you know? Right. Like in the mail room or something. Yes. But I used the leverage, I uca a's interest to get leverage around town and I found an agency that I thought was. Oh, okay. I found an agency that I thought I would be able to learn the business and would promote me because in being an agent, it's like an apprenticeship position. Yeah. You need that agent that you work for to give you access to their connections and their talent and

Speaker:

in order to establish yourself. Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, uh, so I found an agency and it was this. You know, bicoastal boutique agency that had a lot of classically trained actors. I was working with, you know, on the director side, like David Mamet was calling the office. Martin Scorsese's company was calling the office. Like so at that level. Yeah. And actors like Lindsay Kraus, um, Joe Montia, blah, blah, you know, Rebecca Pigeon. And, uh, that's how I built my aesthetic. Yeah, that's how I was trained. Um, I was going to the theater every week. Nice. Uh, yeah, that's, I

Speaker:

love that. But it also sounds like you, you, you got direction and you took it and you ran with it. Right.

Speaker 2:

So that's why when you asked me and I said the word fear. Yeah. Right. So then I was young and naive and stupid. I didn't know enough to be afraid of entertainment or this position or anything like that. Yeah. I just thought like, I am young, I'm smart. I will be an asset to wherever I go. Yes. Um, no one will be able to outwork me. I may not have, you know, a degree or a credential in this field, but I'm that girl. Like, I'll stay there till midnight, you know, figuring it out. I'm willing do

Speaker 4:

the work. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm willing to do the work and in a year.

Speaker 4:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

Now they'll promote. Now, I mean, I didn't know. I didn't know what I didn't know. Yes. But, uh, that

Speaker:

hard work sometimes does not equate to promotions. Right. I tell people that all the time.

Speaker 2:

Hard work. Hard work is not enough.

Speaker:

Yes. It is not.

Speaker 2:

Hard work is not enough. And

Speaker:

sometimes you've just become hard work

Speaker 2:

and sometimes Oh, I love that. I, especially women.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Especially women. I

Speaker:

just had this conversation that unfortunately when you become a really good doer,

Speaker 2:

that's what people want from you

Speaker:

and you just, your whole existence will be

Speaker 2:

doing,

Speaker:

doing,

Speaker 2:

doing. So, um, but I was promoted, you know, very early and, uh, was able to establish a list for myself and just grew my own book of business from there. And, and by and large, like the black community in entertainment, they were really supportive.

Speaker:

Nice. My That's really good though.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. My first client was a guy named and I still represent him to this day. Nice. So that was 30 something years, 38. Years ago. Mm-hmm. Uh, Roger Veer Smith, and he had just won the Peabody Award for doing his play a Huey p Newton story. Nice. And he was in like all these Spike Lee films. And, and Roger was like, he's about about it. Yeah. Right. Like he's, yeah. If we want black people in Hollywood, it's just not in front of the camera. It's behind the camera. And you vote with your dollars. Yes. So, and listen,

Speaker:

that's why we boycotting all these things right now, right? That's why we not, that's, lemme just grab this phone. I just didn't stop you and your thoughts. No,

Speaker 2:

no, no. It's why we're not in target.

Speaker:

This is exactly why we're not in target.

Speaker 2:

So Roger left William Morris, which for those people who don't know, is a very, very established. You know, agency and mm-hmm. Prestigious agency and he signed with me.

Speaker:

Nice.

Speaker 2:

And I think I was still an assistant or like a junior agent at the time when he

Speaker:

did that. Yeah. But also he took, he, he saw something.

Speaker 2:

I think he, yeah, look, I think he saw something, but I also think that's who he is. Like he's not about lip service.

Speaker 4:

Oh, he's about action.

Speaker 2:

He's about the revolution. Nice. Right. And so he's like, look, here's a young sister. She's trying to do her thing. I have a manager. I have an attorney, so they're gonna make sure she doesn't do anything, you know? Crazy. Crazy. Exactly right. They gonna keep

Speaker:

it in a guard rail, essentially, right? Yes.

Speaker 2:

But how, who's gonna, if we don't invest in our tribe, who's gonna do it? Who's gonna do it? And because I had Roger, you know, I could get my phone calls returned. Yes. And I just built upon that.

Speaker:

So tell me, how did fair show up at this time? Right, because you, you have. You were so fortunate to have a community of people that were like, Tracy, I see you. I value, you have something impactful to the world. Right. Tell me how, although you had this sense of reaffirming and validation around you, you still were I know, you know, fear still existed there, but you, one thing you must give yourself credit for is you kept moving. I did. But how was, how did Fair show up in that season?

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. So. The world. I mean, we all know the expression, the glass ceiling.

Speaker 3:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

I think when you're young, black and female, there's the mythos. Everybody says they want to help you. Yeah. And they will help you until they don't. Right. Until they feel like, like at that point I was not competition.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right. So people were like, oh yeah, come in, whatever. But. A lot of people didn't know how smart I was or how hard that I was prepared to work or how strategic I could be and I was having fun at it. And if you're a person who naturally is playing chess instead of checkers, ugh, that scares people.

Speaker:

It does it Totally understand. So the stop, because I'm that, so the help

Speaker 2:

stops.

Speaker:

It's not, and it's not just that the help stops they all, they then become fearful. Because what I've learned over, I always say my short years of here in life, but long in a way, is that people find comfort and predictability.

Speaker 2:

Of course. I, who, who doesn't. Right? That's, that's mankind. This is right. So

Speaker:

that's why I always say it's easy for people to take humans as their parents. Right. You're pretty, you're this, you're ugly. You're that I put you in a box. I know this, I know how to, yes. And that level of predictability comforts them. But once you start to show up in a world

Speaker 2:

that they were not prepared for and you start unusual

Speaker 4:

that box, they're like, hold on now. Hold on, hold on. Hold, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't know if I'm ready to support no more because she, she outside the box.

Speaker 2:

And when I tried to put her back in the box, she, oh my,

Speaker 4:

she ain't really, wouldn't she? She, she

Speaker 2:

fighting back. Yes. And she kind of hurting,

Speaker:

bruise, bruised me up. Yes. But that's interesting. So how did you deal with that fear in that time when it was like, oh, young sister, she's starting her agency. There's people, her, well, I didn't even start the

Speaker 2:

agency yet. I was still just working

Speaker:

for ca In

Speaker 2:

the, in the system? No, I was at a agency called. Uh, I won't even, they don't even deserve name. They don't deserve the name. But, but no. But, uh, you was

Speaker:

at another agency and you, you still had that support, right? And people were supporting you until,

Speaker 2:

until, so, um, I learned how to be aggressive. I learned how to do my job without scaring people. And I think that's a thing that women learn and thankfully, your generation is unlearning. Yes. Like you guys just show up. Yes. And you guys show up with the idea that your emotional emotions are not my concern. Right. Those are

Speaker:

your bags to hold girl. Right.

Speaker 2:

And And we were very different. We were like, okay, I need to move in such a way that this man doesn't feel threatened. Yes. So that he will continue to support me. Right.

Speaker:

Absolutely. I have family members that struggle with that to this day because I think it's like, it's also we got good at condition. Well, we

Speaker 2:

got good at it. No, and right. You don't wanna give it up if you good at it.

Speaker:

And it's conditioning.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. It's

Speaker:

conditioning from what? Like what my aunts and my grandparents, like that generation told you. Like, show up and do what you need to do, but don't get in the way.

Speaker 2:

Don't get in the way pacify like whatever methodology. You had Yeah. To make the, to make your supervisor feel like promoting you was gonna benefit him.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right. That's what you cultivated.

Speaker:

And then I think what our generation has learned from that is Dennis abuse. Well,

Speaker 2:

it's always abuse, you know?

Speaker:

That is abuse. It's, it's always abuse. It's like, you know what I mean? But like, like you said, they help you until they don't. Right. And then how did you, how did you pivot? How did you manage during that time when they were like, oh shit. She, she out here playing chess not check is, so when

Speaker 2:

I, my check is I, by that time, Iran, I

Speaker:

transitioned out,

Speaker 2:

moved to a different agency.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

But, and when I felt that glass ceiling again. And really not knowing what to do. The Lord took over.

Speaker 3:

Nice

Speaker 2:

because I did, I'd said to myself, okay, so I have this opportunity to move to UTA or to move to another large agency, but I know it's gonna be more of the same. Is this just gonna be my lot in life?

Speaker:

Is this the journey of the nation? Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

So this is being totally transparent. So, um, a girlfriend approached me and she's like, well, you should come work with us. And she was at a styling agency. They represented hairstylists, makeup artists. And I said, um, yeah, my clients are like pretty successful actors. They do not wanna be at an agency that represents hairstylists.

Speaker:

Yeah. Right.

Speaker 2:

Like that's not gonna happen. Yeah.

Speaker:

And it's not gonna align with the brand that you've already established.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Not gonna happen. So she said, um, well maybe my boss would be interested in creating a separate agency.

Speaker:

Oh, based on your clientele. Right.

Speaker 2:

So I said, okay, you know, whatever. So I talked to her guy over the phone and we had like a five minute conversation and then he said, okay, well when I come to LA we'll get together. Yeah. So he, true. He came to LA and we sat down and had dinner and I picked like the total wrong place to take him because I couldn't think of anything. And then he said, um, okay, so let's do this. And he goes, I'm gonna be back out here and we'll drop all the, you know, do all the things. And I was like, okay, whatever. Look, I'm, I'm in Hollywood. People say that they're gonna do

Speaker:

things, that everything, listen, I hear about that Hollywood life. They'll look at your face and be like.

Speaker 2:

Not only in Hollywood, but LA is a place where they yes you to death.

Speaker:

They're just so funny

Speaker 2:

to me, New York is a place like, no, I don't like you. We'll never do business. They're keeping

Speaker:

it a buck with you. We gonna let you know. You probably never gonna see me again. New Yorkers.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. New Yorkers are very straightforward. Right? I know.

Speaker:

That's why I think LA's so funny to me. I find it so comical and I hate that people are always like. Why do you take these things as jokes? They are not jokes, but I'm like, it's funny because they believe that I believe them. So then it's funny.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay. In that case, yeah. Then it is funny. But yeah, LA tends to get yes. You to death. Yes. So, um, yeah. So I didn't pay any, you know, attention. Oh,

Speaker:

so you were like, mm-hmm. This is a good me in here. I ain't Right. Never go ahead for the man again.

Speaker 2:

Right. So I've now I've met this guy, I've spoken to him three times. I've met him twice. Yeah. And this like, the second time we met, he had, um. I'd printed out my client list and did everything, you know, appropriate, although I didn't, I didn't know, and he said, okay, I didn't really look over what you sent me. And he said, how much money do you need to make as a salary? Okay. And how much money do you think we can make? And I said, well, if you look at page two of the perspective, you know that he said, yeah.

Speaker:

If you look page two, the proposal that I sent you last week and ahead of this meeting. Right. Which you didn't read, but I'll talk you through it right now. Sure. Yeah. So

Speaker 2:

he said, he goes, just tell me. And I said, yeah. And he goes, all right, so when do you wanna start? And I was like, excuse me, excuse

Speaker 4:

me, sir.

Speaker 2:

And Port. And he said, yeah, let's start. Why don't you give notice? And. And that's when it got scary and I went back to the Lord and I had all of these conditions, like, okay, the office has to be in this kind of place and look like this and this, and all of these things.'cause I said to God, I am too old to start over.

Speaker 3:

Oh,

Speaker 2:

okay. You hear all these horror stories about, you know, you trusted this business partner. They ran away with the money, or the money ran out or mm-hmm. You know, all very human things.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 2:

I'm too old to go through that. Yes. And I take care of my mother and this has to be for real. So like Jed chased me around for probably, I don't know how many months

Speaker:

telling

Speaker 2:

me to start. Let's start. Let's start. Let's start.

Speaker:

What was the hesitation? Everything afraid of like it being real. What, like what was the fear? Yeah. No, I wasn't

Speaker 2:

afraid of it being real. I was afraid of it being not real and um, I'd never. I'd never done something of this level before this magnitude. Right. And to my knowledge, I didn't really know any women who owned an agency, much less, any black women. Usually, um, when people start agencies, it's, they get a big, you know,$50 million investment from some fund or something. And of course, they're white men and. They start an agency with some linchpin clients, like Yeah. When you start an agency, you don't start an agency with George Clooney. Yeah. You start an agency with Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Matt Damon. Yeah. You start and Ben Affleck.

Speaker:

Yeah. You should start with the collective.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You start with 200 million, 300 million million in billing.

Speaker:

Oh, right. Yes. And. So it was it. This is all new. It's like how do I start what? I think it was all wrong. Yes,

Speaker 2:

it was all wrong. But I

Speaker:

always say, I always kind of boil things down to simple math. Right. One plus one makes two.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

And, but it also reminds me that we need to know when operating the word in, in divine order with God, he does not operate in simple math.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So my girlfriends at church. Yeah. Were all telling me to move forward. And I had all the confirmation in the universe and I was angry about it because I just felt like these people don't understand. Yeah. You know? And there's nobody in my church that operates a hundred million dollars business, even a$10 million business business.

Speaker:

So they don't know the risk they trying to tell me to take. Right.

Speaker 2:

They're trying to like, am I gonna live at your house? If it exactly fails, if me and my mama

Speaker:

gonna be in your guest room, like

Speaker 2:

right.

Speaker:

If this fails,

Speaker 2:

and if these clients that I have decide to leave me or they're poached or Yeah. Whatever,

Speaker:

what happens. Yeah. If the worst, the worst happens, worst happens. Happens. What

Speaker 2:

happens. Yeah. Um, so yeah. How did

Speaker:

you navigate that fear I had, because that's real.

Speaker 2:

Had a ton. A real world. And if you see me doing this, it's'cause it's cold. It's cold. It's, we're in la I'm not gonna lie to you, but it's cold. It's,

Speaker:

it's la We in LA but the breeze is breezing. Okay. Okay. Like

Speaker 4:

you see me with this little coat on, like this breeze is, blows it. But

Speaker 2:

so, um, yeah, like what happens? And I was, while I was, you know, going to the Lord, I also felt like I don't wanna be foolish number one. And I mean, I know like. Look, the rain falls on the good and the bad. I did not want a situation where I start this business and the Lord has taken me through it and yeah. You know, whatever. And ultimately it fails and the yeah, the Lord will be there. Like I, no, that's not the testimony I want,

Speaker:

but you know what I, I wi No, let me I to keep it real. I'm with you on that.'cause that's where I'm always like. Let's be clear. I've gone through enough adversity, baby, I need, I, I

Speaker 2:

don't need,

Speaker:

I need to live a nice

Speaker 2:

life. Like, like Jesus, take me off your strongest saint list.

Speaker:

I right. Listen. I'm like, I'm a warrior. I just can't be in the bud no more. I've been there, done that. Can't do it no more. Don't. I don't

Speaker 2:

want that. No, no. But then

Speaker:

I also feel like he puts us at these intersections that's like I always feel like God also be like he be tugging it with us as his kids. He be, he be chin checking us because we really. Don't listen and I say that we with me in it, right? That he chin check us. Like so is it. They thought, if it is it, you let me know.

Speaker 2:

And I'm like, please, please,

Speaker:

please you. Like, could you just map out the LA the next five years and make sure I ain't gonna go broke? If you tell me I'm not gonna go broke, just back about the five years, then I'll be faithful. But is that faithful? But that's

Speaker 2:

not faith.

Speaker:

Oh,

Speaker 2:

but that's not faith, right? That's not faith.

Speaker:

So how did you get over this? Fair. Okay. How did you get over the fair? Sorry.

Speaker 2:

Stupidity. I think no, faith. Faith. So, um, this, you know, good fr ugh, God,

Speaker 4:

don't it, don't it make you laugh and just so many things. Oh,

Speaker 2:

so many things. Yes. So I came through to Christ mm-hmm. Through my assistant. She, this girl that there's no way I should have even hired her. That was God too, how she even got that job.

Speaker 4:

But anyway, say unqualified, but just be in there. Just

Speaker 2:

be in there. And

Speaker 4:

I love that for us though,

Speaker 2:

being the best assistant that that company has ever had. Oh, and only working for me and whatever, all these things. Mm-hmm. So, um. So she was really like, go, go, go, go. She loves you, but go ahead thing girl. Yeah. All these things like the opportunity to create, you know, the environment that you want and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's really enthusiastic. And then my other friend and our little, you know, group from church, she was talk, we were talking about, we would go to church and then go back to my friend Sylvia's house and watch movies. Yes. And then go to night service or whatever. So, um. So there's an Indiana Jones film. Yeah. Where you know, Indy's running like from the Nazis or somebody and he gets to this cavern and he's checking the map and the map shows stairs, right? But he gets there and there's no stairs, so he's like, oh, somebody blow up the stairs and. You know, he tries every incantation, every whatever. You know his whip that he has? Yeah. It's not long enough to go across the thing. And he's like, what do you know? What do you do? What? What happens now? What do you do? And he puts his foot out. And when he puts his foot out, a stair comes, a step comes

Speaker:

Tracy,

Speaker 2:

and he puts it back. Stair disappears. So he puts it out again and the stair comes and he puts the second foot out and another right, another step comes. And when she said that, all I could say was, thank you, Lord.

Speaker:

Oh.

Speaker 2:

So I put my foot out crazy.

Speaker:

That's so profound, right? Because I think it's put my foot out so profound because I think often, Ooh, that gave me chills. God, no, because. I think often we think faith means being still and waiting for it to show up at your door, meet you with your car, right to click,

Speaker 2:

kick you over the head and be obvious. And yes, yeah, the neon sign to say yes. You know, faith

Speaker:

is really

Speaker 2:

faith.

Speaker:

Faith and taking action.

Speaker 2:

Faith is. Faith is what is the life that you want? What is the love that you want? Yeah. What is the healing that you want? Now go do it.

Speaker:

Ooh. And with no assurance other than my love for you think.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Think about it like the apostles. The saints didn't always have, you know, they didn't always fast and pray and blah, blah, blah. And the lockdown or whatever they have faith. This is how the Lord acts. This is how the Lord exists. And

Speaker:

I know for certain he will show up.

Speaker 2:

So I'm David, I'm gonna go. They about to attack. I don't have time.

Speaker 5:

To slaughter a goat and whatever. I gotta goat, right? Yeah. But I have faith and I carry that faith into everything, every space that I'm in.

Speaker 6:

Oh, I know that was a word for you when she was like, you gotta put your foot out. She,

Speaker 5:

we were just talking about it, but she wasn't ministering to me. Yes.

Speaker 6:

But she was, but we

Speaker 5:

were, she was ministering to me. Right. So I said, okay, and I went to the Lord and I was like, okay, I'm in it. What are we doing now? Ooh, shit. Scare. So once you do that, yes. God has a sense of humor. Oh, we allall know that, right?

Speaker 6:

I always listen, I always tell you. He be, he. No, no. A joke, joke. He,

Speaker 5:

he,

Speaker 6:

I think he love a test. What you mean? Oh,

Speaker 5:

oh no, you in this for real, God is like a dj. Like, ha haha. They really, they really go up. They gonna dance all night on this one. Okay. So the first thing was, okay, so my business partner. Takes me to the number one entertainment building in la Yeah. And he is like, okay, this is where your office is gonna be. Yeah. This is what he says. Ooh. I'm like, okay, great. All right. All right. Now the Lord had given me a word and he said, I'm taking you to a new place. We're building a new place. Do not take anything from these people. Now, you know when you leave a job to go to another job? Yes. Yes. You might take your favorite pen, listen or stapler or whatever,

Speaker 6:

listen.

Speaker 5:

Right. That's normal. Your

Speaker 6:

favorite. Yes, for sure.

Speaker 5:

That's normal. Nobody is upset,

Speaker 6:

nobody walking, nobody would. They expect you to take some sloppy paper. Your favorite pen. Okay. Right

Speaker 5:

now in my industry, when agents leave, you take all your files, your contracts, of course, your client's information. Yes. All of this stuff technically illegal, but everybody knows you're not right.

Speaker 6:

You not just gonna hand them yo, you not just saying, oh, Rolodex, whatever. Exactly. I'm not gonna hand them your Rolodex to go and try to No, I totally, that makes sense,

Speaker 5:

right? So, but the Lord was very clear. Don't take anything. That's theirs. Everything. That is theirs. Take, leave it. I mean, everything that's theirs. Leave it. Okay. I'm going to do this very, very clear in my spirit. Okay. So I have, you know, let's say 50 clients that I look after. Yeah. The only clients that I told that I was even quitting were the seven that I brought to the agency. Who no longer had contracts at the agency. Those were the only ones I even spoke to, and I invited them to move with me. Yeah. Everybody else I didn't contact. Now that does not happen in our, I was

Speaker 6:

about to say,'cause technically you're leaving your revenue, you're giving them your revenue, not

Speaker 5:

tech. Yes, a hundred percent. I said,

Speaker 6:

not technically, girl. That's what I did. I said, that's what I did.

Speaker 5:

That's exactly what I did. Now this manifests all for me. Oh. But I just, no, no, no. You

Speaker 6:

gotta see how that.

Speaker 5:

No, no, it gets better. That's nothing. That's nothing. So I had an assistant mm-hmm. And a young white, straight man. Mm-hmm. Right? And, um, he knew that I had been looking for work. Yeah. And. Because he's getting calls from, you know,

Speaker 6:

yes. Different agencies. Agencies and whatever. You know, he, he doing a little math, he doing, he picking up what's funny, what you put down. Right.

Speaker 5:

But I haven't said anything to him. Yes. Right. And agents do speak to one another, so. Yeah. Right. So, uh, he hasn't said anything. And then one day he comes in my office and he goes, when are we leaving? And I said, who not heavy on the we. Tracy said, and I said, um. And by the way, the other thing about him is he is, um. What do you call, I mean, I, I'm forgetting the term, but his family is very well off. Okay. He doesn't have to work. They call

Speaker 6:

them nle babies now. But I just feel like their parents did what they supposed to be doing.'cause listen, his parents are not God willing. My baby's gonna be nipple babies. You hear me? I'm telling y'all that right now. His and ain't no shame in there. His parents

Speaker 5:

are not in the business. But he didn't have to work. He did not have to, but he

Speaker 6:

wanted to. That makes, makes it great.

Speaker 5:

He did not have a job. Okay? He did not have to have a job. Okay, so when are we leaving? And I was like. You know what? You stay at a grown. Literally, I said to him, you stay at a grown folks business. Go out there and do because

Speaker 6:

you like I'm I'm, or I'm, I need to make mortgages suit. Rent is a goat. Like, don't be over here talking about what we leaving

Speaker 5:

you over here plead. So he said, okay, this is what we're gonna do. When you have everything sorted, you let me know. Okay? And I said, uh, okay. Okay. All right. And then I started, you know, like packing up my pictures or books that I had and you know, little keepsakes or whatever. And so every day for two weeks, he would help me carry yourself, my keepsakes or whatever out of my office and put them into my car. Yeah. And. Then one day, one Tuesday, I called him from the car and I said, okay, today is the day. Um, I'm turning in my key card. I'm gonna give notice. And he is like, okay, great. No problem. Um, I'll meet you at the office. And I said, what do you mean? And he goes, yeah, I'll meet you at your office. At your new office.

Speaker 6:

Girl, he already had a plan. He like, we leaving you, you don't. So he said, we leaving it Tracy. So

Speaker 5:

he gave notice and left, and by the time I got there to turn in everything, yes, he had already quit. And then he said, wait, I went to the new office that had already been set up by him because he was my assistant. He figured out where I was going, had a conversation. With Jed, set up the new office, computer system, everything, software, everything, everything. Every, do you

Speaker 6:

see? Do you see the blessing?

Speaker 5:

Well, no. No. Gets better. Gets better. Now you're not gonna believe the the next part because it is so, but it's a mirror. Whatever. Yeah. So everything's set up. Computer system, active data in the system. Data in the system.'cause he said. Oh, your contracts with them says one thing. Mine says something else.

Speaker 6:

What?

Speaker 5:

Okay.

Speaker 6:

Do so. Oh my

Speaker 5:

gosh. So he had set up a new office the way that I liked it, except for one thing. Yeah. My chair. Yeah. I had a, um, Herman Miller chair. It's about a$1,500 chair. Yeah, right. And, um, I said, oh. You got this little picnic chair,

Speaker 6:

not you running down to the people at Staples in office. Max talking about you gonna gimme this regulated chip. Yeah.

Speaker 5:

How you gonna do all this chip?

Speaker 6:

Not like,

Speaker 5:

so, uh, so I said, oh, I'll just, you know, I said I'll call the office. The chair is used. Yeah. I bought it on eBay. Yeah. They'll, you know, maybe they'll sell the chair to me for like$500 or something. Right. And then I remember what the Lord said. Don't take anything from there. I was like, well, God, I'm buying it.

Speaker 6:

Yeah. Like I ain't really taking it. Yeah. It's a transaction. I'm

Speaker 5:

buying it. And I said, this man just invested all this money in me. I don't want him to be like, and she bought a$1,500 chair. Right. This is what she spending my money on. Like, right. So$1,500 chair. So, um, so did you call about

Speaker 6:

the chair or you went

Speaker 5:

chair? I, I. I was about to, you know, I did call, I didn't leave a message. Mm-hmm.'cause the message from the Lord played in my mind. And, um, then, uh, a few days later, mm-hmm. Maybe two days later,'cause I'm meeting with people or whatever. Yeah. Sitting on a little rickety chair, a box came and it was a Herman Miller Aron chair. And they come in sizes. Yeah. And it was my size. And you know, they come with different attachments and it was, I, you know, it had all the attachments that I wanted and I thought, oh, you know, Nikolai ordered a chair, chair, Nikolai, Hey, thanks for the chair. He goes, I didn't order a chair. You told me not to order the chair because you were concerned you wanted, but yeah. Yeah. And I said, oh. So I went to the office, went around the office. Did anybody order this chair? Maybe somebody else's chair. Nobody ordered the chair. Okay. All right. I built a chair. I put it up, and then my business partner said, Hey, I want you to come to New York and I want you to meet, you know the other people in my office. Maybe there's some business there for you. So I show up at his office and I walk into a conference room and there were 25 Herman Miller. Cheers, Aaron chairs. And I wanted to cry'cause I was like. I not only am thinking so small, like God has moved me to the land of milk and hunt. That's the way those chairs felt for me. Like I'm moving from a place where God.

Speaker 6:

And you see how small you was thinking, girl, you wanted to pay$500 for the used chair and you didn't even realize. God is like, look, he aligned you with somebody. That baby them chairs is some chairs that's, this is a, it's a chair. It's a chair.

Speaker 5:

We're making 10, 20, 30. The plan is to make 40,$50 million. And you think I'm concerned about a$1,500 chair.

Speaker 6:

Oh, Tracy. And it also again, like, it also like

Speaker 5:

I got you.

Speaker 6:

I I got you. And stop it.

Speaker 7:

Stop thinking so small. Stop thinking you know what's going on. I told you, if you put your foot in front of the other, I will give you steps. Jesus. Oh my God, God.

Speaker 8:

Like as

Speaker 6:

So I learned to

Speaker 5:

like as a human from time to time, I'm still gonna be afraid. Yes.'cause

Speaker 6:

we're human, but I'm not gonna be

Speaker 5:

afraid of the$1,500 tricks. Oh, not the 1500 tricks. No, no. Let me be afraid. Of the$10 million tricks. Yes. The$20 million tricks. Right. Let me be afraid like. The Lord just changed your whole, my whole frame of reference. Yes. Like when I say, I got you, I got you on the teeny tiny and I got you on the bigger than you could ever dream for yourself. Yes.

Speaker 6:

And you know I say that all the time that'cause I feel like I'm a true dreamer. Like I sit down and I'm a visionary. I, I will let my, well let's do

Speaker 5:

run, let's do some dreaming together. Oh, I do something called mindset movies. Yes. Like instead of making a, um, what do they call those boards?

Speaker 6:

Like, uh Oh, I know what you're talking about. A vision board.

Speaker 5:

A vision board, yes. I don't make vision boards. I make vision movies. I make mindset movies. Ooh. So I decide what I want for the year. Yes. And then I do stuff like,

Speaker 6:

you make a movie.

Speaker 5:

I make a movie.

Speaker 6:

And do you, how frequently do you watch, said movie

Speaker 5:

every day.

Speaker 6:

What? See? Okay. So. Oh my God, this has giving me shows. So let me tell you about this activity. I wanna see your movie before you showed me, because I don't, I don't want it to be what I used to

Speaker 8:

grew up in circumstances where I had to be

Speaker 7:

rough

Speaker 8:

in the

Speaker 7:

jungle. Listen, listen. And a no limit soldier. You hear me? No. Yes. Like, and so throughout this time I'm also like very disciplined and I'm also like, I don't, I, I work for what I have. I, I don't want no free handouts. God sends what I work for what I have, because I don't wanna be obligated to anything that's not tied to goodness. You know what I mean? And so what I used to do in like my darkest moments, I would visualize in deep detail what my life would be like when his vision for me showed up. And Tracy, when I say deep detail, oh it makes me emotional, like. I used to think about when I opened my eyes in the morning, what would I see? How would my bedroom look? How would I brush my teeth? How would I have breakfast? What would my days be? What would I be hearing? These are the things that build my spirit in the darkest styles of my life. Like that's why I have such a complex relationship with like food and way I operate. I've always kind of worked on like Nimble and what needs to happen, like what am I gonna do today for that vision of Sneak Tomorrow? And I took the detail where I'd be like, oh, I want to brush my teeth with. Holgate, peppermint. It'll be electric tooth rush, my bathroom will be marble. These are levels of detail that I feel like distracted me from my reality, and it's, it makes me emotional'cause not consciously thinking about it. It is the life I live in. Amen. So the, every time I even think about it, amen. Tracy. It. So without planning, this is not

Speaker 8:

like, no, you don't have the freedom of the Lord. Like little things, you know, I remember Saturday mornings they would show these movies from the sixties wherever. I grew up watching, you know, James Bond Crazy films on Saturdays. And I remember seeing him drive to Aston Martin and I told my dad,

Speaker 5:

Oh, that car. I like that car. And he's like, oh, you can have it. You just have to work hard. It's expensive. And now I drive a Aston Martin. And I didn't, it wasn't like a goal for me. Yes, it was.

Speaker 6:

It wasn't something that I was like, I, I'm

Speaker 5:

focused now. I know I made it. Yes.

Speaker 6:

It, it was, it, it was something that, it kept me,

Speaker 5:

me, it, it was, it

Speaker 6:

comforted me in the darkest moments. Mm. And I just. It was just things that I told myself that I in detail

Speaker 5:

the Lord, I will like do something or be at the place and then it'll come to my mind. How at a point in my life I wanted this. Or I was really working for it and then life happened and I forgot about it. And when I bought this car, it literally was like the city had towed my Lexus. Okay. The city had towed my Lexus and I had to buy a car. Yes. So I was like, okay, let me, oh, I tried the new Lexus. I don't like that body. Yes. Okay, well let me try this. I tried, like, I kept trying different cars and none of them were, were what I wanted and I thought. And Aston Martin, they came out with a SUV. I was like, girl, that car costs more than your house. Yes. And I said to God, like, can I buy this car? Like I said, look, if it am I tripping. Right? If it, I said if it fits, if I, my big behind gets in it. Yes. And it's comfortable. I'm gonna buy this car. Are we, are we being, are we being,'cause it was, the pandemic money was not coming in. All of that. I got in that car and I was like, oh, I'm home. Oh, I'm home. I gave them the man, my American Express. It's you like, run it up. Run it up. Put the car on the American Express.

Speaker 6:

Run it up. I'm gonna have

Speaker 5:

hella points. Yes.

Speaker 6:

I'm gonna take a few trips over this car right here.

Speaker 5:

That was it. Yeah. So that was my, that's how we started the agency and

Speaker 6:

oh, now I need to see this, my movie.

Speaker 5:

Oh yes. So, you know, we pray over. Yes, I pray over every client that we signed and whatever. It's been a, a amazing journey. Um,

Speaker 6:

what made you start these mind movies?

Speaker 5:

Is it fun? I haven't shown this to anybody else. You're the only one, so you cannot I feel privileged. You cannot comment. I feel

Speaker 6:

so privileged. No, I'm not commenting. You guys can't see. This is, Nope. You can't. This is

Speaker 5:

just for her.

Speaker 6:

That is beautiful because it takes a level of consciousness to put that video together.

Speaker 5:

I just always, I go back to you a lot of times too, that we don't even have a right to call what we believe, faith, because the Lord says, try me. Hmm. Right, and we've all tried him. Our faith is based on God showing up. It's not based on, yeah, just I believe how we

Speaker 6:

operate and listen,

Speaker 5:

it's based on like how many times I've been in a spot and prayed and he's rescued me how many times I needed provision. And provision has arrived. Right? It's based on him doing.

Speaker 6:

Yes. So how is it Faith? My question to you is, so every time fear shows up. And he go, ha, how is that not just reaffirmed your faith, but also showed you what the definition of fear really is.

Speaker 5:

One thing is a lot of times I'm gonna say anybody else, I'm afraid and I don't realize it, I gotta recognize that it's fair. Yeah. That it's fear and then I know what to do. To, you know, rip it apart, to break it down.

Speaker 6:

How did, when do you reflect and go, oh, that was fair. That was, that was me being a fair,

Speaker 5:

I think that's, you know, journaling, that's prayer, that's fasting, that's being reflective and really trying to do the work and be honest with yourself. You know, why aren't even when I don't like somebody, right? Yeah. I'm thinking. That person didn't do anything to me. Why don't I like him?

Speaker 6:

Listen, in Caribbean culture, it'd be like Miss Spirit n you if Miss Spirit nec you. That is a valid reason. But truly though,

Speaker 5:

right? What? Truly, because a lot, a lot of times I don't like that person'cause I feel like they might be smarter than me or whatever. Right? But so to analyze those things, to face my own fears stuff. Mm-hmm. Yeah. My own fears and then I get to change it. Uh Right. I give it to the Lord and I let him use it, and he normally creates something

Speaker 6:

better

Speaker 5:

golden for me.

Speaker 6:

Oh,

Speaker 5:

right. He's able to take all of those fears and turn them around so that they benefit me.

Speaker 6:

Oh my.

Speaker 5:

So you wanna take, it gives you the courage to like. Go out in the world and be bold because every hesitation, every fear I have, I'm gonna give it to God and he's gonna turn it around into something for my benefit. So what do I really have to fear

Speaker 6:

and why? And why are we so damn stubborn about it too?

Speaker 5:

Because it's hard to remember. Like we are physical. We live in this physical world.

Speaker 6:

Yeah, we're humans. Humans be human.

Speaker 5:

And the things that I'm saying right now, I know how. Naive. I sound or provincial or,

Speaker 6:

but it's not, and that's where I'm just like, but it's not naive. And I always say I'm a walkin testimony

Speaker 5:

if you're a believer. Yeah. It's not, it's not naive, but like this, this conversation is gonna go out into the universe. Yeah. And then someone is gonna say something very funny and quippy and Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never known her represent me like she blah. Right. And yeah. And that's gonna hurt my feelings and you know, I, whatever ever. But it'll also encourage

Speaker 6:

Yeah, someone, someone else to move past. Right. And still take action. And

Speaker 5:

it is the truth. Yes. Right? Like I am. I do, I'm blessed. I have a good brain. I'm hardworking. Yes. But I'm not perfect.

Speaker 6:

But no one is

Speaker 5:

I, but even that, I'm not perfect. But

Speaker 6:

even perfection and even perfection. Is criticized.

Speaker 5:

Well, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 6:

Like, but you have to realize that that's not your real gauge Things

Speaker 5:

that I have, the things that I have done Yeah. Are by the grace of God. Yeah. And in everything, all I can do, all I'm here to do is I show up, I educate myself. I do the best job that I can do. Yeah. That I can be. And that that is not only has it been good enough, it's been extraordinary.

Speaker 6:

And that is your excellence. But I just, but I also think. In thinking of that, like, yeah, someone's gonna watch this and be like, yeah, that's naive, da da da da. You. It's also recognizing that, that, that ability to go, yeah, that's naive. That's, and to be negative, baby, you're fearful, you're, you're fear. You are afraid of your own potential. And that's what that is. So how the, I'm, I always say like, I'm not her. I'm not her.'cause I'm like, oh, who hurt you? What in your life made you feel like prosperity is not deserved to everybody?

Speaker 5:

Or that, like, my method, since my method is different than yours, it's not as valid, but anyway. Yeah. But that's, that's, but

Speaker 6:

that's the whole, and that's honestly, that's, that's the Tracy experience. That's also the premise of this podcast. That's the reason we had these conversations. Because your definition of fair should be different for everybody. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it, for each individual that definition transforms. It does not mean the same thing in every single season of your life. So does that mean you're better than someone else? Does that mean their definition is better than your definition? No, but, and also more importantly, does that mean that you cannot learn from my definition

Speaker 5:

for damn Sure.

Speaker 6:

Exactly. One

Speaker 5:

thing that I am afraid of now is I remember. A 20-year-old Tracy and you know, your aunties and older people try to tell you something and you're polite and you're listening. Yeah. Right. But if I knew then what I know now, I would, I would be, you know, I can't even

Speaker 6:

In your mind, in your mind, you would be all these different places, but God is like you. Exactly. Where I want. Where I want you to. It's true. You exactly where I want to. You got it when I wanted you to have it. You got it when I wanted you.'cause I also think part of. This new age of all this information and access to conversations and people that you wouldn't get their stories just being in your own bubble.

Speaker 5:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6:

Part of that, the, the greatness of that is understanding that when you get it is when you're supposed to get it.

Speaker 5:

You're right. That's a word. That's the word, but I want young women to know like. Jump. Jump, yes. Do what is the thing that you wanna do. Do it.

Speaker 6:

Yep.

Speaker 5:

Right. Don't wait till you're,

Speaker 6:

till you're older to try to do it. But also not knowing the dream, not knowing where you want to go, should not paralyze you to move forward.

Speaker 5:

Okay? So all of you guys, the smartest thing that was said in this conversation today, she just said. Not knowing where you wanna go should not paralyze you. You have to, you're like a shark. If you stop moving forward, you're dead. You need to put one foot in front of the other every single day. The length of the stride doesn't matter, but every single day, make a move forward.

Speaker 6:

Yeah. Do something. It's not about the direction. It's always about the. The details. Okay.

Speaker 5:

\Thank you so much

Speaker 6:

for this conversation. This was so amazing and no

Speaker 5:

thank you.

Speaker 6:

Oh, and this is, thank you. How do you divide? Fair.