How do you divine?

STICK AH PIN| From Digital Age to Dialect, Nepotism and Group Chats!

• How do you divine? • Season 3 • Episode 13

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In this episode of 'How Do You Divine,' Sanika takes a reflective pause to discuss the journey of the podcast and the concept of 'sticking up in' – a Caribbean phrase for pausing and reflecting. She delves into what success means in the Black community, especially in terms of parenting, using public figures like Shedeur Sanders, Bronny James, and Blue Ivy as examples. She also explores the role of nepotism, the importance of attending cultural and professional events, and the power of following your gut in career transitions. The discussion ends with commentary on current TV shows and a desire to avoid certain pop culture drama. 

The episode is infused with personal anecdotes and cultural reflections aimed at encouraging thoughtful living and community engagement.Join her for a laid-back yet profound conversation that encourages you to take inventory of your life, your goals, and your definition of success. 

Tv Shows mentioned in the episode

  • Forever written reimagined by Mara Brock Akil (Netflix)
  • Special Ops: Lioness (Paramount) 
  • Your Friends & Neighbors (Apple TV)
  • The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo) 

What I am reading/ read this month 

  • Who Better Than You ?: The Art of Healthy Arrogance & Dreaming Big by Will Packer 
  • Love & Whiskey by Fawn Weaver 


Thank you for listening and for adding new dimensions to your definitions. Keep growing, keep exploring, and keep defining life on your terms.


🌐 Explore the new website www.howdoyoudivine.com
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Meet our Founder & Host 🎙️
Sanika is a storyteller, communicator, and creator passionate about exploring self-discovery, culture, and the power of words. With a background in technology and marketing communications; she has built a platform dedicated to authentic conversations that inspire growth, challenge perspectives, and amplify voices.

As the host of How Do You Divine?, she invites listeners to redefine meaning, embrace transformation, and navigate life—one word at a time. Her mission? To create space for reflection, empowerment, and deeper connections through storytelling.


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Welcome back to this episode of How Do You Divine? And today we are gonna stick up in, and what does that even mean? Stay tuned. So every few episodes I take a little reflection, I pause so that we discuss what we've seen thus far. And if you're from the Caribbean, you know what stick up in means. And in this episode, I speak more in my two dialects as a Jamaican. To teach you what it means to stick up in hold, a discussion, and pause right there. Let's think through what we've seen, not only on the podcast, but in our communities and in our space. No guest, there is no interviews, just me. Let's stick up in. Every few episodes I take a little time to reflect, to run through the movements and the culture and give y'all a real raw tick from from the headlines to the heart. It's a more laid back, a little more fun and a whole lot of truth. To stick up in means, say, come. And sit down on the front porch and talk about what the podcast has been thus far. Some things that we've seen in our community that we can unpack and really just take a pause because in this day of digital age, information comes and goes really quickly and often we just are so reactive to it that we hold on to that moment of that emotion, right? We saw this in the headlines and that in the headlines, and it's just ultimately. Always shocking us with information that wouldn't even say what happened, how that look. So in this episode, let's stick up in. Welcome to everyone who is new to the podcast. And let's first discuss the podcast thus far. We're in a new rhythm and we're in a new rhyme. The different stages, the different sets. My commitment is to ensure that we have content for the podcast on a regular basis. We started this season trying to commit to weekly episodes and quickly learn enough work. That's enough. And not just that it's a lot of work. Honestly, from a scheduling perspective, it has become quite difficult to ensure the quality of the podcast. So as of this episode, we have moved to every other Wednesday. Audio versions will be available on all podcast platforms, and the videos will be available that. Friday. So audio every other Wednesday, and video on Fridays that's the pace that we're trying to maintain, this isn't just content, it's a conversation with purpose. So subscribe, tell a friend for, tell a friend, tap and sneak over there. Do something good. And we are all our vibe. Our first topic is today is what does success mean in the black community? This question came to mind when I saw so many dis different conversations happening around the trajectory of Shado Sanders, as well as Brony James and Blue Ivy, right? These are kids of well-known athletes, celebrities, entertainers. These children were raised in what I feel to be a great environment we don't know their households, so we can only speak for to what we know. But ultimately I wanted to have this discussion about what does success mean in terms of parent, in terms of parenting to you. You don't have to need to be a parent in order to answer that question.'cause we've all been children, right? What does success look like to you? Because for me, I think. Shara and Brony and blue are the living testaments of what we want our children to be. Ultimately, we, I can speak for myself and my household. My husband and I strive to ensure that we are providing not only a home, but an environment, an ecosystem, a world for our children where they can thrive and not even know survival. But we have to also be mindful of. As parents and as children from our own situations, what does success actually mean to you? Because the conversation happening around nepotism and them being handed something as if they haven't displayed an effort of work and commitment to their disciplines. It is so dismissive. And I just don't, I'm trying to understand why do we, in the black community, feel like in order to. Attain success struggle must be associated. Right? So I asked the question, what does success means to us in the black community when we thinking about parenthood? Because if you ask me, the parents of Shado and Bar James have done well, right? And Blue Ivy, they've done well, not only again to raise what seemingly are good human beings, right? But also provide them with opportunities and spaces in which they desire to exist with. Out the need of struggle. So I wanted to pose that question. I stick a pin and remind people that I don't understand. When you have Pitney, do you not want them to be happy? Do you not want them to feel safe and secure? And if that is your ultimate gold, why are we not rooting for them? Why? Because I know for me, I'm like, yes. Did you see Blue Ivy come back on this most recent Cowboy Carter tour and show the pe, show the people that she's eating. The girls up. You hear me? Eating the girls up, child one, two step is killing them and it makes me so happy. Not only is like a mom and a woman in the space, just because we've seen. How Blue Ivy has matured and mastered the craft of dancing and stage presence from the first time she hit the stage alongside her mother. Right? But this is also the same child that when Beyonce brought her to the forefront and had Afro, people were like, comb that girl here. So I, it makes me wonder what is success and happiness in our black community If we are critiquing things that we just don't understand, is it okay to just say, I don't understand that I, you know, just again, creating space to have the conversation we are stick up in and we a good talk about nepotism, right? Is it hard for us in the black community to understand nepotism because many of us haven't experienced it. Or is it hard for us to be accepting of nepotism because we haven't come to the place where we can then offer it? Right. Is it a mentality of. What is the right word? Is it a mentality based on deprecation or is it a mentality based on scarcity? Do we feel that only a handful of people can create a space in which their children can thrive? Because as someone who works in corporate spaces, I have seen nepotism. Corporate spaces. It's not only entertainment, right? And nepotism is not always putting, you know, your child in as a VP or as a manager. But what it is is offering up the opportunity for your child to explore an industry or a space or a, an. A desire that they have in a safe environment that you've already vetted and validated. Right? That's all in my perspective, nepotism is It's providing opportunity without all of the bureaucracy and red tape of the traditional world. So when I'm thinking of that and why we should stick a in and why. We have this perception when it comes to entertainers and celebrities. You haven't seen anyone in your environment be put in a position to thrive based on their family and their friends. I think if you question it that way, it'll be a little bit different. Because I know for certain, especially in our Brooklyn enough restaurant lounge, you know, clothing stores, there are so many small businesses in New York City that are owned by generations of families. Right. And when we think about generational. Wealth. We need to understand that generational wealth has existed in the black community for a long, long time. So when I hear the term generational curse breaker, you know, breaking generational curses, I understand that and I do think there are things that we can leave behind, but, you know, take the meat, leap the bones, but also acknowledge the fact that nepotism has existed in our environment for a long time. So. Why the negativity, why the brony shouldn't be in the NBA. He not ready for the NBA. Can you go one-on-one with Bronny? I know, I can't. Like, can you go one-on-one with Brody? Um, you know what I mean? And just the conversations that were happening around Shado is drafting and how. He was, oh, he wasn't number one pick, but he did get picked though. He is in the pros though. Can you go up and down the field with Shara? I know I couldn't. So I just think let's give people their flowers and their credits for the things that they have dedicated themselves too. And then also full hand claps and cheers for the parents that allowed them to do so in an environment that lets them thrive. Because again. What is successful parenting, if not for that. All right, Stick a pin in events these live events that are back and in full swing. I don't know if anybody noticed. We are officially five years from COVID, and when I tell you live events are back in full effect, them are with them. Good, good self. I feel like everyone is currently touring. Kendrick and csa. Beyonce. The ladies, I feel like the, the aunties of Soul, Stephanie Mills, Patti LaBelle, everyone is touring and I wanna encourage everyone to get out there and support your favorite audience that is out touring right now. In addition to these conferences that are happening across the space, I had the opportunity to go to the Black Effect Podcast Festival in Atlanta. That was an amazing festival. Um, they had amazing. Speakers on stage as well as different partners. There was Nissan, there was Coca-Cola and there was a food truck festival. It was a lot going on in terms of the culture and I felt, I felt the southern vibe while I was there, but I made me compare to some of the festivals that's here in New York as well. We just had a food festival in Brooklyn hosted by Keith Lee that was. Crazy. When I tell you the people came out. The people came out for the Good Eats and word on the street is that the food ran out. But all in all, it was a good experience. There was music, there was vibes, and there was outfits. Let me tell you, the people that come out with them, good, good, good, good. Clean outfits. That's one thing I think we should stick up in and talk about. What I have loved is, we have truly. Come outside. We're outside our outside full force, right? In this season, because again, while being a few years out from COVID, people are attending these festivals, but when I say we putting that thing on every, the outfits is outfit, okay? The fits is fitting and from the festivals to the concerts, I just love this energy around. I'm gonna present my best self for this vibe and come out strong, strong. Speaking of, speaking of concerts, speaking of the Sure. Them I had, I went to Vibes cartels, I wanna say historical return to Brooklyn Tour. Me did De had the first show. Yeah. Me and my sister Tamika went to his first show. Big Up to Tamika for sorting that out and making sure we is in the place. But when I say it was a movement, the energy, other players did mad. The, it was jam packed, but it was a good vibe. It was like all of Brooklyn came out. And when I tell you we was in their vibing, the DJ did a go on with himself, said they already never. Dorid and it makes, did I keep the players on top? And you could tell that vibes really was super emotional during the show. At one point he came out, um, brought his mom out and just was praising God for allowing him to go through his trials and tribulations and still return to the stage at that magnitude. And that to me was like a huge game changer.'cause ifm honest. If man, keep it real. We don't know podcast yet. When my little sister first told me about it, I was like, yes, my love vibes. But we sure, eh, alls granted, he has served his time, but you know, you don't wanna really promote certain things and certain behavior. And at a community. So I totally, like, if I'm honest, I'm one of those people that like, you know, I live what I say. And so we had the whole conversation about, but artists are artists and I'm always championing that I can take the art and leave the person and you know what? Little bit of both, but it was definitely like, oh, we gonna see vibes. Hmm. Gonna see vibes. Like, you know, it was definitely one of those. But I am so glad that I went When I tell you the show did run good, good. And at one point he lost his voice. And you could tell how like nerve wracking he was and he said, listen, I know you guys paid your money and you're here to see me, um, see me perform. I'm gonna go drink water. And when I tell you he drank water, Busta came out. Spice let's, let's stick up. Pinta Bowl Spice. I think spice does not get the credit Spice deserves as an entertainer on the stage. Spice from Jamaica. Goes on that stage and work her tail off. You hear me when I tell you, when spice hit the stage, it's like you felt this wave of eruption in the Barclay Center because Spice was giving us hits. She was giving us moves. She was giving us dance. She did listen. She was getting on with her. Self at that show. You hear me? So that show to me was another electric moment Busta came out that he had a few um, artists come out on day one. And ultimately the show was amazing. But going back to what I'm saying about, I love the fact that we are outside and we not just showing up at these concerts, in these conferences and in these spaces, we're showing up as our best self. We making sure to put through, put that outfit on. But I will say I wanna see us more in these conference spaces as well. Right. As we know, I work in technology as a senior sales strategist as, and I attend many. TE Tech Con conferences as well as marketing conferences and, um. I wanna see more of us. I wanna see more people of color in these conferences because when I'm in the building, in these offices, y'all work there, you work there. So why aren't you coming out to these spaces and having discussions about your goals and aspirations, not only in your career, but who you are as an individual, right? So as I stick up in on concerts. But just want with a wah vibe and think about also showing up in conference spaces as well. Go see the panel, talk to the panelists, hear the discussions that's happening with the thought leaders in our space because it's important to know not just where you are today, but where you wanna go in the future. And I. Think with both technology and marketing and whatever industry you're in. Finance, right. I attended a conference, um, led by the Hope Organization. John Hope Bryant's organization just to learn more about financial literacy in our community. I love John Hope Bryant. I already, in my mind, I'm like, he's gonna be a partner of mine one day and, you know, speak into existence. But I just, I love his background and I love how he's not just a thought leader. He's very strategic and very execution oriented. I think everyone has the thing, has their thing, right? That you're really, really good at. Some people are really good at negotiating. Some people are really good at writing. I think John's very clear that he is not only a thought leader, but he's an executor, right? He knows how to bring an ideation to market and also. Be mindful of the market. Love John O. Bryant. So. Sticking up in on making sure that we are not just attending concerts and the food festivals and all of those things, but we are also entering these conference spaces, that is for people of all different descents in our community to attend these conferences. I wanna see you at the customer success conferences. I wanna see you in these spaces. Let's make time to upskill ourselves by attending these events, because we often think that it's all about networking and. Granted network. And granted, networking is not for everyone and it's not an easy thing to do, but in order for you to even learn, you need to be in the space, right? So come on out to these events, and I will try my best on my socials to post when these events are happening. I believe New York Tech Week is coming up next week, and then it's followed by Atlanta Tech Week, and then there's cans. There's a lot of things happening and not all things. You do not need to book travel to attend all of these things, but I want you to be active in your local community and the spaces and spaces you occupy. Do a Google search just like how we will Google search, where to find an outfit or when our new artist is coming to town. Just do a Google search on a conference based on your interest coming up in your neighborhood. Alright, let's do it. Listen. Next, let's stick a pin in God guts and Google docs, right? Because I wanna stick a pin on purpose and the path towards the goal and your dreams in life. I'm currently going through a transition in corporate because I made a decision to pursue. The road less traveled. Right. Um, and I'm intentionally being very vague because I wanna honor the brands that I am working with that allowed me to feel confident and comfortable through this transition. But I wanted to speak to the intentionality around pursuing a dream and knowing that, like they say, man, plan on God laugh, but also being willing to do the work right. And I'm very much one of those people that I don't do nothing at 10%. And for those who didn't understand my. My accent, my patois, that means I don't know how to do anything at 80%, 20%. I know how everything I do, I do it at 110%. I am very type A. I'm very organized in that way. I wanted to talk about the importance of following your gut and your intuition during these seasons of transition. Right. I have found myself time and time again over the course of the last few weeks, seeing these different signs and poi, putting in position different opportunities for me to be very clear that this is the path that I need to be on and this is where my focus needs to be. And. While it's scary, right? There's this gut feeling that, yeah, I dismiss it. God. God said this, wrote Hawaiian for reach and this is where I want you to go. I there still requires some level of planning, right? Pull out the Google docs and the sheets and ensure that the responsibilities that we have to our, to my life, right? The responsibility I have to my life and also that you have to, your life is not. Hindered in any way, but also it's supportive, right? It's important to create an ecosystem that. Is aligned with who you want to be in this world and don't not tech check, you know, then we like, don't hold back. Don't, don't allow people for smile up your things. Don't allow somebody's view of who you are and your capabilities to dictate how you move forward in your life. This is your life. Uh, you are seeing this, and if you don't have. The vision and the forthright to say, my gut and how I feel is right, then know that you may be susceptive to fall for anything, right? My mother used to say, if, if you're not stand for nothing, you fall for everything and you, so you have to know what you stand on, and I know exactly what I stand on. So, as we wrap up this episode of Sticker Pain, I just wanna remind you, sir. You are who you say you are. You are who you show up in this world as. And for me, the best form of service is how we treat each other in every space we occupy. Nobody. Nobody. Yeah. Then we are there. So on this episode of how do You Divine, I really and truly. Want us to stick up in of your life and take inventory on who you are today and who you wanna be tomorrow, where you are today. Do you like it? What do you, what makes you feel uncomfortable? What makes you feel, what makes you feel like, is this a good use of my time? Right. Because one thing, resources will come and go. Resources being money homes, them things will come and go. You can bill, you can rebuild. And I'm talking from somebody who bill from nothing. Yeah. No, no, no, no. None. Those things can come and go because once you are a go-getter, money did definitely make right, but. Time is important, right? So are you committing your time to something that is aligned with the goals and aspirations you have for your life? Take an audit. We all have the 1 24 hours, and some of us have less than others because we sleep enough, right? Rest is not a reward, it's a necessity. So definitely get your rest, but. When you are up and about and you're doing your thing, are you actively engaging in the actions that will. Produce what you want in this world, right? And I am being so intentional about that in this season that every, every time spent is time aligned with my goals and where I wanna be in this world, and also with my family. Let's talk about what's going on on tv. I am typically not a television person. I love scripted tv. At one point I loved reality tv. Um, I wanna say years ago when Real Housewives Atlanta was Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now I think they all have the same premise of. Like who said what about who? And it just, no, it is just, it is not given what it used to give for me. So I just, I'm over reality tv. But tap, feel free to tap me if it start getting good. Now, I, I tapped into the Real Housewives of Atlanta's new revamp for an episode. And that one episode was nice, but. Then the whole Kenya picture situation happened and I was like, all right, we too old for that.'cause that too much. And I tapped right back out. But what I do love is scripted tv. Love me some scripted tv when I'm watching tv. A show that has had my household in an uproar is forever. So if you're new here, I have a 16-year-old and 12-year-old daughters, Maya and Layla, and I married to my husband. Um, for about 15 years now. Don't tell him that I paused on that, but we've been together since we were teenagers. So watching the show forever was so interesting. I started to watch it alone and then looped him into the two, watching it and catching up with me and his reaction. I have some reaction videos on my YouTube ika. Nicki, was. Hysterical because he could not, he's such a girl dad that he could not view the first few episodes as Justin, you know, he couldn't root for Justin at all the entire time. He's defending Keisha wondering why Keisha's in this situation. Um, like it was just so, it was beautifully, it was so cute to see him. Ride for Keisha and feel like, listen, Keisha, don't, you don't have to take this. That boy did what? Call the police. It was hysterical. But one thing I did wanna stick a pin and let's take a pause and talk about is how scripted TV is more and more starting to reflect our stories that we are familiar with. So I'm just, I'm just so grateful for the creatives that are putting these scripts and these shows together and bringing them to Netflix, and not just streaming services, but also on broadcast tv. I feel like there is a nice swing of content that is being created. Like I just watched the G 20 with Viola Davis and listen, li. If there is an actress that makes me go, whoa. It is Viola Davis. She deserves all the flowers and all the things. Okay. There's a whole list of them and y'all don't want'em right now, but I just wanted to stick a pin and remind us that. While we are on social media and we have become very accustomed to engaging in a little mini phone, right? Sometimes it's important to detach from the device to start to wean us back to our normalcy. I. I've noticed that again, we are five years out from COVID and we are slowly starting to rebuild what normalcy looked like. Not only in this day and age of technology, but coming back from the isolation that stemmed from COVID. Right. And I want us to encourage everyone to Yes, let's watch a good scripted show.'cause there is good scripted TV out here. You know, they are producing good things and in order to properly and accurately watch good scripted tv, we have to put our phones across the room so that we can lock in and watch a good show. I'm gonna put a list of nice shows for you to watch in this episode. G 20 was great. Lioness was amazing. Oh my gosh. There is a show on Apple Call. My friends and neighbors about a gentleman who lost his job. He was an investment banker and essentially started robbing his friends and neighbors. Great, great, great, great, great show. Recommend that. Still watching Will Trent still my show? It's just some great scripted TV out there, so I want us to stick a pin and in and indulge in the creativity that is happening on the big screen. I'm gonna put a list of nice shows for you to watch in this episode. Last but not least on this episode of Stick A Pin, I feel like the elephant in the room when we talk about pop culture and politics, which neither one is two items that I'd like to explore, but when we talk politics or pop culture, I feel like there is a trial going on that. Unsubscribe me. How do I unsubscribe to this Diddy trial? I just wanna unsubscribe. Take me out the group chat. Like I don't, I think let. The people let the, I, I don't even wanna say let the system handle it, because we all know system is not really as accurate as it needs to be. But I also do not want daily or weekly updates of what's happening. In the darkness because so much of what has come from that Diddy trial to me is just filled with darkness and hurt. Right? And it just shows you that every, like, like my granny used to say, not everything that Glit does is gold. Sometimes things were shining me is hollow and um. Yeah. So yeah, take me out the group chat and instinct a pin. I just want put it in the comments what thing in pop culture or what conversations that are happening, do you wanna be taking out the group chat? Like put it in the comments I wanna hear. What do we wanna be taken outta the group chat. I wanna be taken outta the group chat for the Diddy trial. I wanna be taken out of the group chat for whatever was happening with Remy Ma and all celebrity relationship. Discord arguments. Take me out the group chat. I wasn't here for it, for Remy. I ain't here. I'm, I'm not here for it, for Cardi. Listen, keep that behind closed doors. Take me out the group chat for any, any relationship that is, is, is, is breaking apart and is no longer in a positive place. And you guys don't want to like, take us, take me out the group chat. I don't wanna be a part of that group chat. I don't wanna be a part of the group chat in regards to what else, what else don't I wanna be a part of the group chat for. Oh my gosh. When people say global warming is not a real thing, take me out the group chat, take me out. I wanna be taken off the list. It is just like, you know, when you're trying to appropriately, well, I think all my algorithms at this point on all my social media platforms is, is starting to, they're starting to learn and know me because I'm quick to hit that three dots. Not interested, please not interested. Stand. I, you know what's, uh, something I actually, I wanna still be in a group chat for, but I'm not participating is the line dances. Absolutely. It's the line dances. Listen with em. Fans that, rah, I, I wanna. I wanna, what? I want to, but I can't. I can't, I can't. I feel like my, my dancing, uh, I used to dance in high school and in college, and that is hip hop and contemporary dance.'cause you know, nowadays you say that. People mind go other places, but the line dances. I don't know why. I just, my, I'm a me's a Caribbean girl, you know, so my body just wanna roll. I just want everything, need a little wine in eye. So like I just, although the little wap wh whp is a one little hip thing, I'm just like. I move to the left and that's a body roll. I move to the right, it's a body roll. So I just line dances has never been by jam. So I wanna be in the group chat just to hear while Guan, right, because the Tamia a line dance. That's my song. And when I tell you I could do it, maybe, I know I probably can't do it. Like I really can't do it. But I wanna be in the group chat, but I don't wanna be a participant. Okay? So keep me in the group chat. For the line dances. Keep me out the group chat for the other stuff. This has been another episode of Stick up Pin. I'll come and because quality over quantity people, the pace that we trying to maintain is important, right? The pace of peace, as I call it thank you guys so much for watching. Leave in the comments some words and conversations that you would like us to explore and who should be our next guest on the show. As the show evolves, I'd like to start interviewing more notable individuals so that we understand that how we define. Our lives is more important than what we define our lives by. So thank you so much for joining this conversation. And this is Sonika. How do you divine Stick up in. So feel free to follow me on all social platforms. That is on Instagram, YouTube, ika. Nikki is my personal, handle and the podcast, how do you divine? We are gonna continue to, um, we're, I'm gonna continue to drop clips. I also have some other campaigns coming out with the podcast that I'm super excited about, so keep an eye on that. But if you want look a bit more who I am, I want me, I do MD time. Feel free to, um, follow me on social media. I, I wanna say I'm more updated on Instagram. My Instagram stories is where the madness really be. But I'm gonna start to do more of that content on TikTok, more casual off the cuff content. You know, who is that girl? Thank you so much for watching this episode of how Do You Divine Stick Up in. until next time, stay loud, stay rooted, stay real. And be sure to remember to make space to be. Well see you on the next one.