How do you divine?
How Do You Divine?, a podcast that explores how each of us defines—and is defined by—the powerful words that guide our lives. Every episode focuses on a single word, inviting listeners to connect deeply by examining its meaning through the lens of personal experience, knowledge, and environment. We keep the conversation simple and impactful, amplifying the connections we all share.
How do you divine?
RISE| Through the valleys of Faith, Challenges, and Triumph with Rise Powell
In this episode of 'How Do You Divine?', we dive deep into the meaning of the word 'rise' with an inspiring conversation between with Rise Powells. Rise shares her incredible life story, from overcoming a challenging childhood and abusive relationships to finding her purpose through her faith in God. They discuss the importance of spirituality, resilience, and navigating life's trials while remaining grounded in faith. This heartfelt conversation also touches on personal experiences with feeling misunderstood based on outward appearances and finding strength and light during moments of adversity.
Thank you for listening and for adding new dimensions to your definitions. Keep growing, keep exploring, and keep defining life on your terms.
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Meet Our Founder & Host 🎙️
Sanika is a storyteller, vibe architect, and crowd igniter—passionate about self-discovery, culture, and the power of words. With a background in technology and marketing communications, she’s built a platform rooted in authenticity and resonance. Whether commanding the stage or leading deep conversations, Sanika doesn’t just hold space—she transforms it. Her work inspires growth, challenges perspectives, and amplifies the voices that need to be heard most
As the host of How Do You Divine?, she invites listeners to redefine meaning, embrace transformation, and navigate life—one word at a time. Her mi...
welcome to How Do You Divine? A show where we explore, where we've come to define the words that drive our lives one word at a time. And today we're going to explore the word rise. How we rise every single morning, how we rise through trials and tribulations, and how we rise amongst the challenges we face every single day with rise piles. Hi, rise.
Speaker 3:Hello, hello. I am so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I'm so glad you're here. You are light. Oh,
Speaker 5:I appreciate you. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:Seriously. And I thought it was so serendipitous that your name is Rise, right? And you have such a unique story. So bring the audiences. Who is Rice? Powells. Rice. I said rice. Who is Rice?
Speaker 3:That's totally fine. Listen, I've, I've gone through all of, all of the different, the variations. Did somebody actually call you Rice One Rice, yes. So I actually started saying rise like sunrise. Yes. Because then people would be like, rice. Like, I'm like, no, rise, like sunrise. And they're like, oh, okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. Um, so I am where, who am I Look A challenge God.
Speaker 2:Amen. Amen. Start wherever. Like to I'm a child
Speaker 3:of the Lord. Uh, first and foremost, I, I love to say like. I don't know about anything that's going on in this world. I'm not in the, the world worldly business. Yes. I'm in the business of the Lord. Amen. Um, and just moving forward in what he's called me to. Yes. And that has brought me here today, right? Yes. And that's just opened up a door for me to be able to dive into how far he's brought me.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And just giving me the name, it says, you know, he says that it's already written. Yeah. And he knows all the hairs on our head and he knows the story that we're going to lead, but he gives us free will. Yeah. In the hopes that we'll stay on the path that he's called us to.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 3:So when he gave me the name Rise, he knew that there would be so many occasions that I would have to rise to Mm. And so my full name is actually she Rise. Mm. And she falls occasionally, but she always rises. Amen. Um, and I think that has just been such a beautiful journey of just going through accepting my name. Yeah. And then embracing it and loving it. Yeah. When before it felt more of like a burden.
Speaker 4:Mm.
Speaker 3:Because. I was going through so much suffering as like a child and growing up in an abusive home. Yeah. And just poor not having much and having to be the leader of that home and helping my mom raise her kids and her dealing with her gambling addiction and my dad just being in and out of our lives and you know, and then you're a kid and you're going to school and you're being bullied and, yes. Nobody knows what you're going home to though.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and
Speaker 3:I think that's the same thing in the world today, right? We all walk around and we go to our jobs and we go to these events and we go to church, but nobody knows the scars that are on the inside because a lot of us don't wear them on the outside.
Speaker 2:Girl speak about it. I always say if I don't look nothing like what I've been through.
Speaker 3:Not one bit. Yes. And I'm, I am grateful. I am truly grateful because a lot of people will see my joy and they're like, wow, you must have not had a hard life, or you must not been girl. See, you say the
Speaker 2:same thing to me. And we talked about this when we first met, that people say the same thing to me. Like all I, you must only know. Yeah. Privilege and happiness to always be so joyful and for me. Even when I was a child, I've always seen positivity as the light through the forest. Mm. You know what I mean? I think it's so easy to be negative and lead into circumstances and situations that unfortunately had, I had no. Hand in. Right. You know what I mean? Especially as a child have no hand in. So for me it was my way of seeing the light through the forest and always knowing that even though the adults around may not have made the best decisions. Mm-hmm. Somewhere there is love. Yeah. Somewhere there is light. So why not lean into that?'cause it already hurts. I, I'm not gonna help. It hurt me more.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. I, um, I think one of my favorite quotes, quotes growing up that I just ended up saying was, just don't be a victim of your circumstance or be the creator of your own life. Mm-hmm. And in that it takes us to create that love, to create that joy, to create that piece that we wanna see in others. Yeah. And so much of my childhood was that. Yeah. Like, I was still smiling, I was still dancing, I'm still singing. And my siblings, even now to this day, when we have conversations, my. Sister below me, she's 25. She just turned 25. Um, got her masters
Speaker 6:Nice
Speaker 3:teaching, but then ended up going to serve at a church. Yes. And she was like, this is just where God has called me. She just got ordained and like to be a minister. And I'm like, wow. Chef's kiss. Yeah. So proud of you. Yes. Um, just because of where we come from and her still being able to show up and, and do all these things. She will have a conversation, she'll be like, you know, like there was a point in time in our lives when, you know, we would fight all the time. And like she just didn't understand like the burden that I was carrying of like, I'm your sister. Yes, but I also have to be your mom
Speaker 2:girl. The oldest. Yeah, the oldest daughter. Mm-hmm. Girl. Me too. Wow. So I feel like we need a program, right? We need a support group because. I say this too, and I actually have said it to my mother that a lot of our conflict stems from her thinking her co-parent and co-partner, which I am not. Yeah. Right. And I think a lot of oldest daughters go through that same thing where it's like, it's not that we don't wanna love and pour into our family'cause we do. Mm-hmm. But there's a thin line between desire and obligation. Mm.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's valid. That's so good.
Speaker 2:And once it starts, you start to be obligated to care for homes and children while you're still a child. It taints everything that you wanna do out of desire.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think even to the say, people are like, oh, you want kids? I'm like, yeah, I want kids. I, I can't wait. They're like, oh, well we just figured like you, when you grew up, you, you raised all your siblings, so like, you just wanna want kids. And I'm like, yeah, but the Lord is redeeming and he's healing and he's restoring and he's restored that, that. Need to, want to be nurturing and to mother, my own children one day. Yeah.'cause yeah, I raised my siblings, but they weren't my kids girl, even though I, I treated them that way. And until this day, like they're, they call me when they're sick. They call me when they're girl, when they gotta find
Speaker 2:signed documentation. Can you read this? Like till they day do here. I like,
Speaker 3:of course, because I'll always. Be that to them. Mm-hmm. Um, but it'll, it'll be different when I have my own family Yes. And when I have my, my own husband and all of those things. So I do look forward to those things in life and it'll, it'll, it'll also be another scenario. I'll have to rise. Right?
Speaker 2:Yes. And it, it will be a Totally, it will be really a whole new experience. Yeah. Because I, we've, so my husband and I have been together since we were 17, 18 years old. Wow. And we decided to have kids early in our early twenties, like 25 basically. Right. Um. I remember being so worried about it. I was like, oh my God, life is already hard. We wanna have kids now while we're in school. Like this is, I don't know about this. And he had such a great outlook and plan. He used to say that having children will be hard life now in our 25, or if we do it when we are 45, it will be hard. So all we're doing is picking when it will be hard.
Speaker 4:Hmm.
Speaker 2:And something about that really resonated with me.'cause I always knew God called me for something bigger.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And it was like, you know what? That makes sense. And we started talking about like, when you go through trials and tribulations in your younger years, you don't realize how much it taints you. Yeah. Until you find redemption. Right. And having my oldest daughter, my first daughter was Layla. Oh my. It was like seeing a whole new world. Yeah. It really was like it. It. So much of it showed me, how loving and light life could be. Yeah. Like on this planet, how much possibility there is to the world. So that's why I'm saying that it will be a completely different experience. Yeah. It really will. And it will also show you how much God loves you. Mm-hmm. Because he will, when I tell you, I swear, God, sit down and design these children for their parents. Okay? Like it's not, they don't, we don't pick them. He chooses us, right? Because I have two, I have two daughters that are completely different. And when I tell you, both of my daughters have threatened me in so many different ways. Mm-hmm. Like my oldest daughter from the moment she came out was like, oh, we taking over this world. Yeah. Mom, what we doing? We taking over the world? Okay, yeah, let's do it. My youngest daughter taught me so much about empathy and emotional intelligence. She's. The most emotionally intelligent human being I've ever met in my life. She's only 12.
Speaker 4:I love it.
Speaker 2:She's quiet, but she's observant. She speaks when she needs to, but she is so into, she will tell you about how intentions of other people before they even say anything.
Speaker 3:Yeah,
Speaker 2:it's a whole new world.
Speaker 3:Beautiful. Well, I can't wait girl. You got, it's gonna happen. Yeah. In God's time. In God's time. For sure. Yes.
Speaker 2:It's gonna happen. So tell me more about your journey. You've risen through the adversity of your, or younger years. Mm-hmm. So did you go off to college? Where are you originally from?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I'm originally from Riverside, California. Yeah. Uh, born and raised. Um. From a child until I was 18 years old. My parents actually met in New York. My mom is from Belize. Nice. And my dad is from LA and he was here on summer vacation. She had just come from Belize and he was visit, he was working at a restaurant and she was at that restaurant eating. And there you go. They fell in love. They had my brother here in New York and then ended up moving to California. Nice. Where I was born. Nice. And I grew up there. And I think for me, when I turned 18, I had been modeling in LA when I was 17. I graduated top of my class, got into the school I wanted to get into. Mm-hmm. And I had all these plans. I was like, I'm gonna go to business school. I'm still gonna be modeling on the side. I knew I wanted to get into acting, so I was like, okay, cool. This is gonna be wonderful. Like, I literally had a car wash so I could join a competition just so I could start modeling. Oh.'cause I couldn't do acting yet because I needed my mom there for everything acting. But with modeling you didn't. Mm-hmm. So I was like, okay, cool. Here's, here's the loophole of how I'm gonna get into this. And then. I turned 18, graduated high school and. In that moment, my mom had filed joint with my stepdad'cause they had recently gotten married. Yeah. And that put us like barely above the poverty line. So we went from having like where I would've gotten all my fafsa, my scholarships, all the things that I had gotten approved for. Yeah. Then got taken away from me and my heart was broken. I'm sitting on my bed as this 18-year-old. At the time I was in a really abusive relationship. So for four years of high school, just like that was my idea of love because that's all I had seen growing up. Mm-hmm. So I didn't know any different.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Um,
Speaker 3:and he was my best friend and in the beginning it was all dandy and perfect until first year pushing me. Then you're hitting things next to me and then it's me. Yes. Um, and. I just didn't really know how to, to navigate it or get out of it. And I then understood, like seeing my mom in those type of relationships when I was a child, how hard it was for her to break free of those. Yeah. Um, especially when you have a heart that just wants to love and, and nurture. You see the best in people. You see the best in people. You're like, no, they're gonna change. But ultimately. They're not, and it's not your job to change them. Amen. It's your job to keep yourself safe. So in that, I'm sitting in my bed, I got in a really bad car accident. It just was like layer after layer that 18, geez, your
Speaker 2:18 was wrong.
Speaker 3:What is actually happening? It just truly felt like. The enemy had peaked into my future and saw what the Lord had planned for me and was like, I'm going to stop it. Oh my God. I'll not let her get any further. And God, like when I tell you the car accidents that I've been in, it has felt like there were angels just fighting in there. Like it, it feels like a battleground of just angels fighting against principalities, like truly fighting against the enemy, like trying to take my life. Because every car accident I've been in, they've been like, they, they come and they're like, you know, you shouldn't be here right now. Like, I flipped six times across the freeway. Flipped three times, slammed to a tree. I passed out, hit a center divider, flipped three times, spun out was on the opposite side, facing the freeway this way. Wow. And each time I have been able to walk away, I've been able to rise and, and been fine.
Speaker 2:That is so crazy. That's God, that that is God. And it's crazy'cause we've never talked about this. Yeah. And I've had one of those accidents. Girl, this is every time we talk. Why? Why do we have these seminar? Because year 18 was difficult for me too. Year 18 was the roughest year of my life. My life. This is crazy. This is. So crazy. Every time we talk I'm just like, we're, we're like uncovering more and more. Yes, me and interestingly enough, it was right after my daughter was born in the car accident.
Speaker 5:Wow.
Speaker 2:And it was, she was probably like six months old, was like my first week back to work. Mm-hmm. And I remember going to a supermarket near my job and they had like these baby toddler cookies. I didn't even know that was a thing. But I remember at the time, my husband's grandmother, we call her Grand Grand, she's passed on now. Um. Was watching my daughter, and I remember calling her and saying, Hey, you need anything from the supermarket? I just found these really cool toddler cookies. I'm so excited to bring them for Layla. And she's like, no, I don't need anything. Just come. Right? So I, I, the house is right here. The accident happened right here. I am going straight. Not'cause I'm in a rush, right? Yeah. So I'm just like driving da da da. A car comes speeding down in the opposite direction and tries to turn right in front of me. Clips my car. At the time I had just got my first like big girl car. Yep. Infiniti fx, my first big, it's so crazy. Flips my car. My car goes flipping over three times. Hits the scaffolding. I pass out. I don't know what's happening. Yeah. I open my eyes. Everything is white. Keep in mind, I had a black leather interior car.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So I'm opening my eyes slowly. I'm seeing all of this white, I don't know what's happening. Somewhere down in the corner I see the toddler cookies. Wow. And that's what reminds me and goes, and I go, oh shit. Am I in the car? All I hear is people outside you. Alright? Are you okay? They're kicking the door to get me out. Wow. There were people, there were people on the street. Pulled me out of the car.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And even ambulance. Everyone came, looked at the car and was like, like my mother even came to the scene and everybody thought I died and I was sitting on the, on the curb where the people put me. That's crazy. It's
Speaker 5:so
Speaker 3:crazy.
Speaker 2:How is this possible that every time
Speaker 3:we talk Christ, but but then that, that just reminds me of how the enemy has the same cycles and the same tricks, and he can only use the same things over and over again. And when he sees a light. That God has put instilled inside of his children. He's like, no, I want that. So what does he do? He tries to get us into things in our day to days, right? Yeah. So he knows you're gonna be in a car. He knows you're gonna be doing this. He's like, how can I, how can I get them in these things? Oh, you're not even thinking about it. Like it, it, it's just like calling him out and being like, you have no, you have no authority over the Lord's children. Like you can try it, but you won't succeed genuinely, literally, when there's a calling on your life. And I think that's truly what, these past few weeks he's just been revealing to me because. I think you said you found me from, um, the video, the, the video. Yes. Yes. The, the viral video. Yes. Which was just so, so coincidental and so beautiful because I had recently quit my job. I was just going through this battle of like, okay, I hear the Lord saying what matters more like, well done, my good and faithful servant or worldly accolades. And so much of my life when I moved to New York, like I did the acting stuff, I, I danced back for Rihanna, I was on a a MC show. I did all of these things that I thought was going to fulfill me. Yeah. And when I got there, I would be like, yes. I finally did it. I, I lived in the high rise. I had, I had all the money. But then it was like, it was never enough. There was still pain, there was still suffering. There was still trauma. Mm-hmm. I had anxiety, I had depression, like. There was things that I just felt like I was never going to be able to escape. Yeah. And I always had a relationship with God, but I was never truly surrendered to him. I was never truly embedded in him. I didn't understand what it meant to have my own relationship with Christ. Yeah. Instead, I, I had my relationship with the church who then told me, this is what your relationship with God is, and this is how it should be. Yes. But when I picked up his word for myself, there was a time when. I had, um, an ovarian torsion. Mm-hmm. And I, I almost lost my life once again. Oh. Just crazy.'cause I'm like, what do you like? He, sometimes I sit there, I'm like, you hate me. The enemy hates me so much. Like. But that means I have something. Because you hate, you hated Jesus. Yes. Like you hate God. Yes. You hate the things that you can never be. You hate the fact that we have commun like we can be in communication with the Lord and you'll never be able to get that again. You hate the fact that I can one day go to heaven and you'll never be able to go back to heaven. Like, so I just sit there and I'm just like, okay. I have this, like at the time, again, I a cycle, right? I was in another abusive relationship and I again didn't realize it was being love bombed. It, it showed up differently this time. Mm-hmm. But that trauma piece of me was like, is this, yeah, but I did trust my intuition. I was like, no, that's just your trauma. Right? Like, that's just your trauma. Like thinking it's like that, but it's not, and this person's different. And, and throughout that I had like really good relationships. I was like engaged, but then I was like, okay, cool. So. I had an ovarian torsion, which my fallopian tube ruptured. It tore, I was bleeding internally for three days.
Speaker 6:Wow.
Speaker 3:And I have a really high pain tolerance. So I didn't notice, like my stomach was really bloated, but I was, I struggled with bloating at the time'cause I was like drinking a lot. Like all the things very in the world. Right? Yeah. And. I was like, eventually everybody was like, go to the hospital, like, what is actually going on? I was like, okay, I'll go, but I'm the type of person that doesn't wanna burden anybody. So I was like, girl, same. I'm just gonna go. And I went and I'm sitting there for 11 hours. They're like, it's just gas. It's just gas. I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2:11 hours. 11
Speaker 3:hours. I'm in pain at this point. My chest is hurting, my eyes are turning yellow, and I, I start to leave and I run into this woman doctor, and she looks at me and she goes. What are your symptoms? And I tell her, she's like, oh no. And like, and so was like, you're not leaving, like puts me in a room and they call in the surgeon and I get like a little, um, cat scan thing and she's like, okay, you have an ovarian torsion and if you left tonight you would've died. Girl. Yeah. And I was like, so like they were like, we just called in the surgeon, she's on her way. We're gonna do emergency surgery. Like call whoever you need to call. And I was like that if that's not God, because I was leaving, I was on my way out of the hospital after they told me. Because of course being a woman of color as well, like that's just what you deal with. Like they don't take your pain as serious. Serious, yes. And the fact that I was there for 11 hours is wild. And then you were sending me away, telling me it was gas is wild and I would've went home.
Speaker 2:And died is wild.
Speaker 3:Is actually insane. Geez. So I'm like, wow, okay Lord. And you would think that would be the moment where I was like, okay, God, I'm gonna surrender to you and give you my ride. Girl. You know,
Speaker 2:we stubborn girl. You know, we stubborn don't even do that because you, it's so funny'cause as you tell these stories, I'm like, I could tell you it is so crazy because we are in hindsight. I know it's not stubborn. Mm-hmm. It's the ability to sit back and see it. And it's interesting'cause as you hear, my voice is a little raspy today because I woke up and all since yesterday, my voice has been weird. Right. And something that came across.'cause every morning I do my devotional and I usually listen to Steve for Nick or Sarah Jakes Roberts and something. TD Jakes actually a clip of him.'cause I just spend, as I'm getting dressed and dealing with the kids, I just listen to different sermons. Said that. The way, God, when you are anointed, the the promise that he has over your life, it will never come through in the way you think it will come through. It will never come through a person. It will never come through in a connection. You can build as many opportunities for yourself as possible, but he is going to make sure that when it happens, the only person that can get the glory is him, is him.
Speaker 5:Wow. Ain't it true
Speaker 2:G Girl?
Speaker 5:It's so true. So, so it,
Speaker 2:something about it really calmed me.'cause I'm always feeling like I gotta send an email, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. Like, you know what I mean? Like I'm willing to, you know, kind of do the work to build the things. And something about that reminded me like, girl, there's nothing you can do that's going to interfere with your promise.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Like you can be way over there. You watch it? Yeah. Like, oh, don't worry, you'll be back. You're gonna come back and get what I have for you. Cool. And I'm gonna give it to you. And I think that that was my RDA because after that I, I like just went into like clubbing and, and I used to like dance, like all this stuff, like very deep in the world. And I was like, okay, I'm providing for my family, I'm doing all these things like still. Nothing fulfilled me. And I was in the club one night and I was just dancing and I looked around and it felt like I could see everybody's souls and it was just so dark. It was so like, I remember this, like I also just found out that I have this memory where I can just look back to a point of time and I remember what people were wearing. How they're, what they, exactly what they said. Like, and I thought everybody remembered things that way until I was talking to someone. They're like, yo, that's actually crazy that you can remember everything. So I looked it up and it's like a very rare, um, and I just have like something very similar to Hs a mm-hmm. Where it's like auto autobiographical memory. Yes. And I'm like, whoa, this is like a superpower. It is. I've just been sitting on Yes. Like, I'm like, oh, I thought we all just remember things like this. Yes. Like insane. Same. So I'm, I'm dancing in the club. And I hear this voice and it's like, you're light, you're light, like daughter, you're light. And it gave me so much peace'cause it reminded me of the same voice when I was 18 and I was sitting on my bed and I was that broken girl that everything had fallen apart. And to me, my whole world had just fallen apart. And I heard this voice and it said, go to New York. And in that moment out loud, for the first time in my life, I didn't argue with myself. I said, okay. I bought a one-way ticket and I told my family I was moving to New York and I moved to New York with a hundred dollars in a suitcase. At 18, I was able to work on set. I was able to not only work on set without an agent or anything, but get upgraded. Have major roles on a MC on Netflix, dance back up for Rihanna, shoot for Vogue, shoot for major magazine, shoot for major beauty brands, like all these things, right? That if I didn't listen to the whole spirit, that voice mm-hmm. That voice in that moment. I would've never had the life that I currently live. So then I think back to being in the club that day and hearing that voice, and it just reminded me so much and I was like, whoa, I, I have to leave. I left in that moment and the next day I picked up my Bible and I just started reading the word of God and I said, what if I figured out who he was for myself? Not who everyone else is telling me he is, because I was manifesting, I was doing this. I'm like, I have this journal, girl, I can write, write anything in it, and it's all gonna happen. Like, okay, yeah. Don't you think that's crazy? Where is that coming from? Like, why don't we try praying? Or,
Speaker 2:he needs to know you. Yeah. He needs to know who you are. Just like you need to know who he is. Know who he is.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And when I read his word, I was like, oh my goodness. Like God is love. He's light, he's peace, he's freedom, he's restoration, he's redemption. He's all of these things that I miss in the world, right? He's so when I truly was like, okay, Lord, like. I'm gonna try it your way. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not gonna drink anymore. I'm gonna stop drinking. I'm gonna stop going out. And I just dove in. I would spend so much of my time with him and just my dog and just like listen to different things. And then it came to me like getting baptized again. I was like, I'm not ready. I don't know scripture, I don't know this, but I had that, that feeling of like, it's time to get baptized. It's time to be washed, clean, and. At the time I was watching Elevation Church. That was like my church home. Yes.'cause I didn't have like an actual church home. A church home. Yes. Um, and they came online and they were like, New York City we're coming to you to baptize people. And I said, oh, are you kidding me? Like, if that's not a sign, then I don't know what it is. And I ended up getting baptized and when I came outta that water, amen. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Because I said, throw me back in. Let's go again. She said, double dip. I want double dip. Gimme a double dip. Like the water works. The praise, like it was like nothing I have felt before, and the freedom and restoration and redemption that God has given me then leads me to well done, my good and faithful servant. Or the accolades, right?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's always gonna be well done by good and faithful servant. So I was like, all right, world, keep the money, keep this, keep that like God is calling me. In the very, very beginning of my walk, I was like, Lord, what's my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? And he was like, your life was never about you
Speaker 2:girl. You, everyone is supposed to be in service
Speaker 3:like it
Speaker 2:is to be in service.
Speaker 3:Your testimony was never about you. Yes. Did you think I took you through all those things for you? No. It's for the next person. It's for my daughter or my son that does wear their scars on the outside when I've called them to lift their head high and walk high. And they need to see you. They need to see what I've done in your life. They need to see how far I've brought in you. But if you sit on your testimony, if you do not use the words that I've given you, if you do not give the use the voice that I've given you, how will they know?
Speaker 2:They need to see it. They need to feel it. They need to be in presence of it,
Speaker 3:like, and I think that was just the beauty of. Truly understanding what it means to be called, what it means to have purpose. Yes. And I was like, wow. It was never about me. It was never all my suffering, all my pain. Like, and because he
Speaker 2:has to craft you in that way, right? Mm. And I always say that, that when we go through these hard times and these trials and tribulations and we're like, how are we gonna rise from this? And I've always, even as a kid, I've always been, what lesson should I take from this? Right? I've never. Even like losing people in my life, I've never seen it as like, oh, God hates me. Mm-hmm. I'm always like, Ooh, there's a lesson he wants me to take from this. So that's why I'm not good at burying things. Yeah. I don't, I don't bury conversations that need to happen. I don't bury hardships. Like I need everything to me. Always gotta be on the table. Yeah. Because I know that there's some lesson here he wants me to take from it because I can tell, I look back now and some of the people that have like reached out to me, some people that I talked to, they're like, I couldn't have made it through this version of my life without you. And I'm like, thank you. Don't thank me. Thank you. Because I'm happy to be of servant. Yeah. Like I am as long as. As human beings, we are not dictating our value based on what the world tells us we need to be or who we need to be and how we need to look and how we need to show up what we need to have. Listen, what title you need to be to have value to me, I'm, I'm doing his work.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I agree. A thousand percent. A million percent. All the percent. Not true. Hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Because I think often we are so lost in the world, right? Based on what we've come from and what we see, especially now in this economic landscape where it is just like everything costs a million dollars. Yeah. You know, everything costs a million dollars and you need to be on the right side of the aisle, and there's all these things kind of squeezing you in a box. Yeah. There are some people, and even since there's some people that just don't know how to exist, when all the walls are closing in on you. And even since I was a child, God has always told me like, you never belong inside. You are not inside. Like I, and it's so funny, I joke about it now'cause I didn't realize it back then. I would, I remember being as young as eight, sitting on my grandmother's porch in Jamaica. We call it a veranda sitting on her porch, helping her reason with like elders in the neighborhood about. Foolishness.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm sitting there like, yeah, but that's not what she means. This is what she just mediating as an 8-year-old. They used to joke and be like, you know, Nick Bond oil, Nick Bond oil, Nick always.'cause I always just figured that, figured that we can be on different sides of the topic, but there is unity in the outcome.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We can walk away and still not agree on this is the way we execute, but there is unity in collaboration. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And I just think so much of what is happening in the world. Becomes about aesthetics. Mm-hmm. How do you look and all these things, and that's great, depending on how you wanna feel. Mm-hmm. Right. If you are not a person that likes makeup, don't wear makeup. Right. Girl, don't wear makeup. Yeah. If you're not a person that, like I, I think so much of how we've grown, especially with social media and all of these messages that we're hearing all the time. Is that you, you start to feel like I need to be aligned. Right. I need to fall in place mm-hmm. To be accepted. Right. And we were never designed that way. Nope. We were never designed to be soldiers of, of one aesthetic. Yeah. You, everyone needs to look the same. Everyone needs to speak the same. Every needs to articulate the same, everyone needs to be mad about the same thing. We've never designed to be that way. Yeah. We were supposed to have healthy discourse. How do we get to this place where we can't even agree to disagree? Where if I think you look this way, you are of no value? How do we get there? Yeah. So as someone who is gorgeous, how do you handle that when people see you and they're like, well, life is easy for you'cause you're gorgeous. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's, that's such a great question. And I would say more lately, I have come into this challenge because. Since I had that viral video. Yeah. Um, where I left, left my job, I'm going to this Shopify tech event and I'm like, okay. The Lord has called me to build this app for women of color and that are looking to pursue Christ outside of the church, um, and also become a speaker. Yeah. So I'm like. I'm, I'm excited, right? I'm like, okay, say, giving God my guess. Woohoo. So I'm, I'm just bouncing down this street, praising the Lord and this man stops me and he starts asking me about my outfit. And I said, listen, I'm not, I'm not in the, the fashion business, but I'm in the business of the Lord. So what I do know how to speak about is God. Yes. Um, and that's exactly what I did. I just gave God the glory and, and shared a bit of my testimony and. I saw so many people under those comments were people that I've, I've had encounters with over the past 10 years of living in New York and people that I had never met, but they were all just like glorifying the Lord as well, but also thanking God and like thanking me for sharing my testimony. Yeah. But for me, I'm like, you're thanking God because I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him. Yeah. And something I have. Had to navigate lately is okay, who actually wants rise for rise or rise for her light? Mm-hmm. And I, when you, when I say, when you say beauty or that, that's what I, that's what I think of, right? Not even like the outer beauty. And I know that's the first thing people see. But a lot of the times what you're seeing is my light. Yes. That the Lord has instilled inside of me and it and allows me to be a vessel of, and a vessel to carry. And I pray that I steward it well because there are times when I fall as well. Yeah. And I can say after that video, like the enemy had just. Came after me so hard, like my voice, I told you I lost my voice for like two weeks. I couldn't speak, I couldn't eat for three weeks. Like I, I had no appetite. I couldn't hold food down. Like he was just going in at me and like truly trying, turning people that I love, turning them against me. Like the craziest things that I have been just going through over the past few months since that video. And I'm like, it's crazy'cause the Lord will. Shine the light, he'll open the door and there the enemy comes, and he's just like, okay, I gotta stop. Oh my God. And I'm like, the only thing you're showing me is how afraid you are because I'm getting closer and closer and closer to what God has for me and what he's called me to, and saving his children and helping more and more and build more disciples. And you're scared.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it also shows you why that waiting season was important. That crafting season was important because he needed to build that in you. I found you on that video and I was like, oh my God, I love the light and I love the glory. I love how much glory you were giving him. And you were like, even on the roughest day today, I could still see his glory shine through, you know? And when we continued to talk, you were telling me about losing voice. I thought that was crazy because you were, and then now look. I have never really lost my vo. I probably lost my voice maybe once two years ago in Vegas. Wow. And I thought it was the air. Yeah. Two days ago, and I
Speaker 3:never experienced that.
Speaker 2:I've, two years, two days ago I woke up with like this lump in my throat. I went to the doctor and everything and she was like, you don't have anything Sinica.
Speaker 3:He wants to, the enemy wants to stop. Whatever God is doing, whatever he is building. Like I'm like, you're so scared. Ha. Like, I dunno what to tell you. It's the Lord always prevails. Like he's still on the throne. He always will be. He never fails, breaks
Speaker 2:me. Smile though, it makes me so happy because that's how you know what you are doing has a massive impact. It's funny'cause that's what my doctor told me yesterday. She goes, Sika, you don't have nothing and you don't even like medicine. So I'm, there's nothing for me to give you. Yeah, you don't have anything. But whatever you have planned, I promise you, you should still do. Because you're amazing.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh, thank you. I was like, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna push through because you know, I'm not canceling. And she was like, and I know that of you, so just go ahead. She was like, it'll figure it out. Yeah. And, but do you see what I mean? That even on our lowest moments where we're like, Ugh, the expectations, I want it deliver. I wanna, I want it to be a great podcast. I want it to be a great connection if we allow ourselves to think that we are the thing.
Speaker 5:Yeah. We
Speaker 2:the like, we're the light, then we would just be like, Ugh, I can't show up in the right way. I can't dah.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness. Like, it's
Speaker 2:so true. And I've, I was just thinking this, I've been talking about it. I've been talking about it to my friends this whole summer because I have this weird thing that. I get so busy, I don't eat a lot, and when I don't eat a lot, I gain a lot of weight. Mm-hmm. Because I don't, I need to be eating protein regularly. And I was like, leave it to me to gain 15 pounds in the summer. Who does that? Like, and I'm like, so we were joking about it and everybody's like, but you don't care'cause you sneaking, you don't. And I genuinely don't.'cause I'm like, I'm the flyest out and you look good.
Speaker 4:Like goodness. Right.
Speaker 2:So, but again. To me, it's like another thing that you think,'cause I always say the enemy, the devil is out to discourage. Mm-hmm. Diminish. To derail. Mm-hmm. That is his mission, right? Yeah. And I thought it was so funny that like yesterday, yesterday I couldn't even say two words much less. Yeah. And this morning it was hard but I'm still gonna show up and show up. But I think it's funny because you think the things that will discourage me, the things that will make me go, Hmm, maybe I shouldn't record the podcast. Maybe we should just wrap it up. It actually just reinforces that what I'm doing is super important. Wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just thinking about that. I think something that, so I've been dealing with some pretty rough trials these past couple weeks and just like friends and all the things and, and it's really broken my heart, right? Yeah. Because it, it really, for me, look crazy work crazy work, crazy work, um, for me. I was thinking about Jesus, right? Because as I'm going through these trials and, and I felt this suffering, and I felt this pain and it felt like torment because I was like, these are people I love. How could they just lie on my name? How could they just do these things? When I was like, Lord, like you said, you'll go before me. When will you go before me? What? And I'm not one, like, I do not like confrontation. So like, it'll be very rare if I ever do even interfere and like be like, Hey, that's actually not true. Like, I'm like, okay, Lord, like you got it. And he's just really taking me through the season of like, okay, yeah, I told Jesus I was gonna go before him too, but look at how much he had to suffer through and the trials and pain that he had to go through. Right. And it made me really feel for Jesus as I always have, but even more because I was like, as he went through each city, every country, every different place, he had 12 men following him. They all wanted something from him, right? They wanted his healing power. They wanted his light, they wanted his wisdom. And nobody ever just saw Jesus. Yeah. But Jesus knew. Mm-hmm. When I come here, this isn't about me. I know that I'm gonna suffer. I know there's gonna be pain. I know that the people I love are gonna turn on me. I know that somebody sitting at this table with me is gonna turn Yes. Betray me. He's gonna betray me. Like, and even though he knew those things, he still showed. Yeah, he still shared his light because he knew like, I'm a vessel. Yes, I'm a hundred percent man and a hundred percent God. So we forget sometimes that he felt that suffering. He felt that loneliness. Yes. And it made me really think, I'm like the only time Jesus ever felt safe is when he removed himself from the crowds and he would go and be at the feet of the Lord.
Speaker 2:Girl you is preaching in here today. You hear me? It's so interesting'cause I had such a season of loneliness last year, and I've always been someone with like a good, healthy amount of friends. Mm-hmm. Like I'm just that person. I wanna help everyone. I'm gonna do everything. But little by little as small, small accomplishments, big accomplishments happened. I realized people were moving different. Yeah. People were moving different. And I'm not you see where you're like, oh, I'm not gonna confront, oh no, I'm not that girl. Nah, nah girl. I'm a Leo. I'm a, I'm, I'm meet you at the dope. I'm gonna be like, Hey, think you, I see you acting funny. You all right? Like, I need that. Listen. I will. Because to me, I just, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable and I don't wanna be uncomfortable. So for me, I'm putting it on the table. Yeah. And I would say, Hey, you're moving funny. Is everything good? No, it's good. It's good.'cause a lot of people like to be passive. When things no longer align, it starts to become clear to me. That's why I always used to say like, I see feelings more than I can hear it. Mm. Like, so I'm just like, okay, I'm you not saying nothing. I'm asking the question. You moving funny. Cool. To me, even in my younger years is when I learned that ze, when it's no longer serving you, remove yourself.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:He taught me that when I was like, 17, 18. Remove yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's what I started doing, removing myself. Removing myself and slowly but surely, these spaces where I used to find so much comfort and happiness became odd and weird. Yeah. And I, and you don't wanna believe that because I'm trying something, because I'm pursuing something.'cause I'm buying houses and my kids like, because I'm working towards the goals of my life. Y'all are moving
Speaker 3:from, because the truth of my labor are being sh.'cause what God said was true because the seeds that he planted we're watering it. Now the flower is growing like
Speaker 2:it gets weird. But I already learned that lesson. That's one thing I've learned to be super obedient that once it no longer feels right,
Speaker 4:yeah,
Speaker 2:pick yourself up. And remove yourself sonika. So that's what I did and I remember. Like January. I was saying, God, I appreciate you. I appreciate everything you do. And I was just praying for him to bring people in my life that I can lean on because I'm a friend's friend. Like I'm a girl's girl. I love girl. Listen, I always tell people I love my husband down and my kids, but I need me a good Kiki. I love me my friend. So I, it was very lonely and I was like, God, but I'm gonna be obedient and I'm gonna let you tell me and you bring them into my life.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:That was my prayer. Yeah. Girl. He don't play about me. Right. You hear the people that are now in my life, only God alone could have directed them right to be in my life. Wow. And while they are my good girlfriends, they also encourage me to build to dream Girl. You could do girl, do that like. Total different circle. Yeah. So when he is showing you remove yourself, do follow him, because I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have been as open and ready for the friendships that I have now than before because there's something comforting about familiarity, but it's also very stagnant.
Speaker 5:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And God can't grow in those spaces. Yeah. Because you think you know more than him.
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 2:So I'm telling you, and my big age, I was like, you want me to not talk to my friends? Like, and he was, like I said, once it becomes uncomfortable. Once you can't trust the emotions in the space, remove yourself.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Less than a year later. Girl, my team is solid as hell. I love my girls. I love my girls. And look,
Speaker 3:now he got you. Hello.
Speaker 2:No
Speaker 3:coincidence.
Speaker 2:No coincidence. Yeah. So while those things are difficult, I'm encouraging rise to rise through it and'cause he's not gonna ask you to be somebody that you're not. Mm-hmm. So if you are not the type of person to confront and be like, Hey, that's actually not the truth.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't do that. Yeah. Because the people that know you, the people that honor you will give you the opportunity to have that conversation. Right.
Speaker 5:That's so good. You cooking.
Speaker 2:Right. So I'm just saying if they don't give you that opportunity, know that there's a lesson in each and every one of these situations. God always does that. He shows us. He goes ahead of us. Not just to prepare, but to show us the things that we think we're honoring.
Speaker 3:Hmm. Amen. God is so amazing. I'm so grateful for you. I'm so grateful for this time. Like, wow,
Speaker 2:this has been amazing. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I reached out and was like, girl, you killed it on that video. Let's get on the pod. This has been. So transformative and I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much. Thank
Speaker 4:you.
Speaker 2:This is awesome. And thank you so much for watching this episode of How Do You Divine Rise. See you on the next one.