Today, helping families to create a personal road map for the future is more critical than ever. Most people understand the importance of planning for the future, but often avoid preparing a plan for aging until a crisis occurs. Mapping out the later stages of life provides older adults with more control and freedom. It also can help to ensure that their wishes are communicated, so when they need more help, family and friends will know what is important to them, and why. Advanced planning also helps to establish realistic expectations based on health status, family history, budget, available support and current home environment. And advance planning will provide guidance as care needs change. In this episode, Gerontologist April Ibarra shares what should be included in an aging road map and tips on how to help guide older adults along their aging journey.
April Ibarra, MGS is a Gerontologist and Strategic Partnerships Manager for Home Instead with over 25 years’ experience in health care and aging. April is passionate about improving the lives of older adults through advocating, educating, and providing resources to help them live their highest quality, most independent life.
Contact April: April.Ibarra@homeinsteadinc.com
Links & Resources:
Today, helping families to create a personal road map for the future is more critical than ever. Most people understand the importance of planning for the future, but often avoid preparing a plan for aging until a crisis occurs. Mapping out the later stages of life provides older adults with more control and freedom. It also can help to ensure that their wishes are communicated, so when they need more help, family and friends will know what is important to them, and why. Advanced planning also helps to establish realistic expectations based on health status, family history, budget, available support and current home environment. And advance planning will provide guidance as care needs change. In this episode, Gerontologist April Ibarra shares what should be included in an aging road map and tips on how to help guide older adults along their aging journey.
April Ibarra, MGS is a Gerontologist and Strategic Partnerships Manager for Home Instead with over 25 years’ experience in health care and aging. April is passionate about improving the lives of older adults through advocating, educating, and providing resources to help them live their highest quality, most independent life.
Contact April: April.Ibarra@homeinsteadinc.com
Links & Resources:
Lakelyn Hogan 0:08
Hi, I'm Lakelyn Hogan, gerontologist and caregiver advocate for home instead. And you're listening to empowering professionals in aging, a podcast and webinar series, presented by home instead and hosted by the American Society on aging. This series was created for those who are dedicated to serving the aging population, and who have a passion for learning. Working together, increasing our knowledge and understanding the various perspectives of these issues will help unite professionals in our common mission to better serve older adults and the families who care for them. Throughout the series, we will cover a variety of topics including medication management, end of life, technology, mental health, financial exploitation, and other important aging issues. In this episode, gerontologist, April Ibarra shares information, tips and resources to help you assist clients, families and loved ones in creating a plan for aging. I'm so excited to hear April's insights and hope you enjoy this episode.
April Ibarra 1:11
Thank you so much. I am so excited to be here today to kick off this series for 2021. So I'd like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year and say thank you for taking time today to participate in this webinar. In it's actually a topic I'm extremely passionate about. I'm obviously passionate about aging. But when it comes to creating an aging roadmap, I get pretty excited. So hold on to your hats, I'll try not to overwhelm you.
April Ibarra 1:47
If anything, 2020 has taught us that anything can happen. Right? We never could have predicted what 2020 would bring to our lives to the lives of seniors. But we do know that we can we can prepare for our aging experience. And that's why to me this is so important. And I hope that you will also get excited about this, whether it be for your own life, as you're aging for your aging relatives and family members, or your clients residence people that you're taking care of helping them to look into the future to determine what their aging experience would like to what what they would like it to look like is very empowering. Again, I'm a gerontologist. So I look at everything from the aging perspective. So it gets me excited to help people become more enthusiastic about the planning process. So that a lot of things we're going to cover. Again, that's me, let's take a look at the objectives, we have quite a few things we're going to go over, but just so that you will know what to expect. We're going to start by reviewing the aging process. What to Expect as an older adult progresses from independence to needing more support. We're going to explore tools that help aging adults develop a plan to help them prepare for their long term care needs as they age. We're also going to learn how to help families guide the conference conversation families are a critical role in this process, even though the plan is really for what the older adult wants to experience. But the families are vital. And these conversations can be very difficult. So we're going to help them give some tools to guide them. And we also will close by kind of talking about some trends and products and services to support the increasing needs of older adults as they want to choose to live in place. So a lot to cover. So let's get started. Failure to plan and boy failure is a really, it's a it's a negative word. I just read something in an article that said, should we use the word failure. But nonetheless, it's here. And it's important to know that if we don't plan if we don't anticipate what the aging experience is going to look like, there's going to be consequences. And I think the statistics are alarming, in my opinion that only half of older adults have planned or have thought about developing a care plan for themselves. And I think as we go through this presentation, you'll see a little bit more about what is just a plan what a plan is it's not just a How do I want my end of life to look or how are my finances looking. It's everything from how I plan to age where I live activities, communities that I want to participate it's really envisioning what life looks like at the age.
April Ibarra 5:06
Again, the plan is for the older adults, but adult children are vitally important and are also involved and 73% of adult children have neither planned nor thought about care. Now, remember, I said, I'm a gerontologist. So I do, I may have some biases, I definitely feel that older adults are the ones who are driving this plan, families are important. But really, it comes down to the wishes of the older adults. And we'll get into a little bit more about that. And I think it's interesting that, obviously, we know most older adults say I don't want to be a burden, right. But many of them still have not discussed their any of their preferences at all. So without a plan, it really puts everything into crisis mode. And I can imagine four people in on this call, you deal with crisis every day, not only with the clients that you that you manage, or that you work with, but also with their family. So there's a lot we can do. And you know, what happens? Why, you know, why don't more people think about planning for their future, the aging? That's a question that continues to bother me. And maybe I'll make that my mission for this year is to really continue to get people excited about planning, especially after the pandemic. And we know that our older adults are, you know, the highest percentage of people who have died during COVID. And, you know, we see the the images of, you know, families who can't see their loved ones because of COVID. And so there are so many reasons why understanding and thinking about the future is really, really important. So let's get into the details, I think it's important to understand a little bit more about the aging process. Now, if you're on this call, you probably work with aging clients, none of this is new for you. But what we have to remember and recognize is that the aging process is different. For every one, I am aging, I will be 57. This year, I'm having a little bit of trouble with that number. But I also recognize that as I look around, I tend to want to look at people who are my agency, how do I compare to them, right, but we know that everyone progresses at a different rate, we cannot clump people together, I always get a little frustrated, or researches that on aging, and they'll say, oh, people 50 and older, well, people 50 and older, that includes people who are 7080, and 90, our needs, our experiences are completely different. So using just the term aging can always be a little a little challenging, but we have to recognize that everyone ages differently, and we can't just put a number on it changes tend to begin gradually. And then they accumulate, right, I have a neighbor, unfortunately, who just passed away, and he was 81. And I could see him out my window. And when we moved here he was, you know, late 70s out working in the yard all the time, very active, very vibrant for, you know, for a gentleman who was you know, about 78 at the time.
April Ibarra 8:32
And over time, you know, as I was observing, just looking at him working in his yard and whatnot, I saw him begin to decline. What I didn't know if he had heart failure. So he had something that was going on, that was moving his aging process along a little bit more. But it's interesting how they can be begin gradually and then really start to accumulate where somebody was doing fine, then all sudden, they're not. So we have to recognize that that does happen. And we need to be prepared for, you know, what are we going to do when things do start to change. And chronic conditions are a huge part of this. And again, I you know, we can't talk about anything in the world now without considering COVID. But all the people who have been impacted also who have chronic diseases are, you know, have been more severely impacted. And older adults 80% of them have at least one chronic condition and 60% have two or more. And what we know about that, of course is that they will never completely go away. They'll always be managing this chronic disease, and it also can severely impact the aging experience for that person. So those are just things that we need to recognize when we're looking at aging and what will happen in the future.
April Ibarra 10:00
So the big question begins to be, especially if you're dealing with a family members and people who are trying to support their loved ones is, when do I know that my loved one needs more care? How do I start to plan? How do I start to anticipate this, and we can assume that, you know, it's going to go from needing less care, to needing more care, depending on the individual and circumstances. You know, we can talk about the living in a perfect world and what we can predict and things that will happen. But we also know things could happen any day. cancer diagnosis, Parkinson's diagnosis, accident, dementia, we never know, we can understand a little bit about our health history and our family's history. But we don't always know what's going to happen. But we can anticipate that at some point, if we're fortunate enough to age, things are going to start to change. Now, again, I have some choices, I am very much into wellness, and health, and doing everything we can to take care and do the best we can to age well, but also recognizing that sometimes some things are out of our control. So families tend to struggle with, what do I do about this. So we can kind of take a look at different categories of things that might begin to change, where you're going to need perhaps a little bit more support. Maybe it's in the mental section, which is always alarming for families, when they start to fear. There's a lot of forgetfulness, that impacts the daily life, the pots were left on the stove when when mom was cooking dinner, and they scorched medications aren't being taken. bills are piling up. You know, I was in the parking lot the other day, and there was a woman who couldn't find her card. She was quite elderly, and she was very confused. And how frightening is that? So those things start to make themselves aware in and what are we going to do about it so that, you know, circumstance, mobile probably going to need a little bit more support.
April Ibarra 12:16
We also are very, very aware now of the emotional, and the social connections that people need. I don't know how you feel, but I feel extremely isolated. And as a social person and a social being, it's very challenging. And, you know, there tends to be a reluctance to leave the house or withdrawing from social interaction, possible signs of depression, obviously, during COVID, were naturally forced to stay at home, especially for older adults who are at higher risk. But as you're just watching somebody's age, be concerned, if you're starting to see some of those trends, even though they're not physical or mental, they're really going to impact the older adult and what they're going to need and how they're going to progress in their aging experience. And of course, we're there's always the physical side, right? somebody starts losing interest in meals, and maybe that's because the spouse has died. And they don't want to cook for themselves. Or, you know, in my my late mother's example, she she had terrible dentures, and she just really stopped eating because of the pain. And that took a serious toll on her helps driving skills, personal hygiene, unkept house, things that, you know, maybe used to be, you know, very well managed, now we're starting to see a change. Why is that? Is it because they're depressed? Is it because they can't manage that, but these are all different things that could occur where we have to decide, okay, you know, what kind of help can we offer to keep keep them independent? I think those are really good things to think about. And then eventually, we really sometimes have to make a decision. When is it no longer safe or appropriate for someone to stay at home? Is this the time for someone to perhaps consider moving into a facility? And that's always you know, the toughest part because many people promise their adult parents I will not put you in a nursing home and we know that people prefer staying at home. It's not always feasible. And I think the key things to think about here really is that that forgetfulness, whether that's diagnosed in a dementia, or Alzheimer's or whatever, is really key. That's that's a risk to the safety.
April Ibarra 14:58
Refusal to accept professional help at home, I talk about the aging person is the one who is in charge. But how frustrating is it for the family members, and I'm sure you've seen this 100 times where the person refuses to accept help. We'll get into that a little bit more down the road as we try to present this. But I think it all goes back to what we're trying to do is help the older adult, take responsibility, understand what their needs are, and determine what they're willing to do to achieve those needs.
April Ibarra 15:31
Their care needs can go beyond the level of care in the home and somebody really needs, you know, more care that can be provided in the home, or they are unable to pay for the cost of 24 care, you know, outside of a financial I mean, outside of the home inside the home. That's a problem. Right? And then we have to take a look at what who is available to help. And we'll talk about that in a little bit. But you know, not at all families. You know, it's not always a rosy picture. Not everybody has the greatest relationships, there's many dynamics of things that are going on, family could be long distance family could be disengaged, that person could have no children. Solo agers is a big, big issue as we move forward. So there's lots of things that impact, okay, somebody wants to stay at home. But now, are they able to? And when do we need to sort of look at other options?
April Ibarra 16:33
Starting the conversation is the hardest part. Obviously, we know people aren't planning people aren't necessarily talking about it. Nobody, I think most people would just prefer to say I don't want to deal with this. Now, I don't want to talk about it. That is not an option. We know that we're aging, we're fortunate that we're aging, if we're not growing older than we're not alive. And that's, you know, that's just sort of the way we have to look at it. So we have to have the conversation. And there's a great tool that homestead actually put together called The 4070 Guide. And really what this does is helps people to start the conversation.
April Ibarra 17:17
How do we get our aging loved ones? Or how do you encourage your clients to start thinking about what they need before we're in crisis mode. And what we found through our research is that when you're 40, it's a really good time when you're fit your parents are possibly in their 70s, it's kind of an ideal time to start having some conversations earlier is better. And we want to do it before a crisis. Now there's a flip side to this call the 7040 rule, which is really sometimes the older adult is the one who wants to start the conversation. And this is the, you know, adult children simply don't want to talk about it. So you know, how do we get past these barriers. So I'm hoping that today is a good start. And that, especially with what we've experienced in 2020, people are going to be a lot more willing and open to plan for their future.
April Ibarra 18:16
All right, I think this is just a great set of questions. Because when we talk about an aging plan, it's not simply as I mentioned before, the finances the end of life discussion. You know, the, you know, the home, do I live there, you know, it's the big picture. You know, me and my husband right now, actively looking forward to retirement soon? And what will that look like for us? And my husband surprised me and said he wants to go back to school and get his PhD in, in history. I'm like, why not? You know, he's worked for a company for 30 plus years. That's his vision of what great aging looks like. So these questions are great ways to get started. And you have to sort of look at your own life and think, Okay, how long do I expect to live, we know life expectancy is increasing. And there are ways that we can, you know, extend that our family history, we have to kind of take a look at that. So if we know, we're likely to live to 85. And you know, we're retiring at 60. What does that next 25 years like, look like? What do I look forward to about getting older? How can I use my wisdom to serve, I talk about retiring, but I really want to just engage in things that I'm passionate about. Not stop living. And that's a whole nother interesting subject is that more people are working as they are ageing, some out of need, but some out of desire to actually still have a purpose and a function in life. And I think that's exciting. If that's your goal. You know, of course, you want to look at the lives arrangements.
April Ibarra 20:00
Okay, mom and dad have been in this house for, you know, 45 years? It's not a good home to age in place, how are we going to address it? What are the legal and financial things when you did know?
April Ibarra 20:14
And, you know, just looking at some of the other ones just being prepared? And you know, the last question here Who will pay for long term care? Should you need it, people still have a very different understanding of what, who pays for what. And I think you all know this, that people still think that Medicare is going to pay for long term care, they don't understand the difference between Medicaid and Medicare and what they're going to get from Social Security. So you know, we just need to be very realistic about what to expect, and assess the current situation, consider options and talk about them. And we'll get into a little bit more details about that shortly.
April Ibarra 20:57
So the aging plan is about setting expectations. How do you want to age? How are you now physically? And what can I look at in the future, I was just talking about this. The other day with my own health history, I don't know a lot about my father's side of the of his health. So you know, I can only go on what I know from my mother's side. But you know, if there's a history of Alzheimer's disease in your family, you have to factor that in. If there's a history of heart disease, or diabetes, or other issues, you know, that's all part of Okay. Here's what I'm I'm, here's my living situation. Now, here's what I'm my health looks like. But here's what may happen in the future, so that I can better plan for it. And, you know, we want to, of course, talk about the legal and the financial, all the situations that you can see people have been in where they have a plan, and they have been, you know, abused financially, and in money matters by family. It's heartbreaking, social and personal relationships. You know, I have an aunt who's 76 years old, and she is dating someone now. And you know, I think everybody's kind of like, what I look at it, my aunt is a romantic, she wanted to have a romantic relationship in her life. And this was important to her. So just because she's 76 doesn't mean that having that personal connection wasn't important to her. And I'm actually going to do a presentation a little bit later this year on that very subject, because it's definitely something most people aren't comfortable talking about. But it's important. And, you know, we have to recognize, okay, I'm aging, do I think I'm going to be any different at 87 than I am at 57, I'm going to be the same person, I'm going to still have the same one to needs, I'm just going to be older.
April Ibarra 23:05
And then of course, end of life care is vitally important. If anybody here on the call is in the hospice industry, you understand people's fears of talking about end of life. And I think that is just so challenging, because we need to also understand what we expect and what we want for the end of our life. And legacy is very important. So there's so much it's about how we want to live as we age.
April Ibarra 23:38
I've mentioned this before, it's an acronym that really kind of helps families kind of take a look at the situation. And first you need to understand the current and potentially future so you go into a sort of assess what life is like.
April Ibarra 23:54
You know, I talked earlier about planning ahead, planning ahead, starting early, but it's never too late. So even if you're dealing with clients who are, you know, well into their 70s, or 80s, or 90s, and they haven't really considered this, it's not too late. But we have to assess what is the reality Now, consider options and resources, what is available? Maybe you're in a community where, you know, there aren't a lot of health care options, and you just have a diagnosis of Parkinson's disease.
April Ibarra 24:27
What does how does that change things for you? So we really need to consider the impact of the situation. And then we need to talk and more importantly, we need to listen as healthcare professionals and family members, and we need to let the older adults talk about their fears, their concerns. I always say there's meaning behind behavior. So if somebody is being obstinate, difficult, stubborn, there's a reason they're probably concerned, they're afraid to be honest with perhaps their health care professional or their family member, because they don't want their independence to be taken away. And again, we're not talking about children, older adults are people who are just grown older. And if they are able to make their own decisions, we should be able to help them to make a plan that best fits the reality of their situation, we want to be empathetic. And the entire goal, really, is to enhance their independence. I think the worst thing that we can do for older adults is to what is the term? I don't want to say just baby them, but it's to force dependency, right? Oh, Mom, don't do that. I'll do that for you. Or Oh, no, I don't want you to do that. I'm worried about you there. You know, we don't want to force dependency on people. I think that's a, you know, something that really is a bit of a problem. We want to make sure everything we do is maximizing independence.
April Ibarra 26:12
Okay, cost of care? Well, again, if we're not thinking about the future, most of us assume, well, I'm not going to need anything. And I think, you know, we really need to accept that at some point, there will be a cost associated with aging, we're living longer, which means that we're going to probably have to assume some cost associated with some type of care, especially in today's reality, in that, you know, our healthcare systems are not paying for this, you know, Medicare, you know, is offering a few more things for older adults. But in essence, the the cost of care needs to be planned for now I recognize to you know, not everybody has is going to have the money to pay for care, they didn't have the money when they were younger, they're not going to have the money when they're older. But that's all part of the reality of the planning is to understand that what are resources available, who is available to help, but there is a cost to care.
April Ibarra 27:20
At some point 70% of Americans are going to need some assistance. That's reality. And the cost is increasing. No surprise there. From 2004 to two ninth 2019, the cost for in home care and facility care rose significantly.
April Ibarra 27:43
It's an increase of 892 for homecare, and up to 2468 for private room and nursing home. So we know that the costs are not going to go down. And we know that we're going to need some care. So we've got to factor that in and make it a reality and not just, you know, not just assume that Nope, we're back on eating thing, we're gonna we're gonna die before we need care. That's just not reality.
April Ibarra 28:12
How is family involved and I this is interesting for me. Because, again, I we have to remember that not all families are healthy, have healthy dynamics, and that there's a lot of circumstances where the family may not be available to support. It's also interesting, now we're seeing a big number of people who are solo agers who don't have family don't have children, I personally don't have children. So of course, I'm not planning that I'm going to have a group of resources or people to take care of me. So that's all part of looking at and assessing the situation and considering options. So but this is where the family comes in. And I read something one of the great studies that came out last year, Edward Jones, and I think it was age wave, the four pillars of retirement. And it was fascinating that most people when it came to care, we're assuming that their family was going to help them.
April Ibarra 29:19
But on the flip side, they didn't want to be a burden to their family. So how does that how does that work? Right? But again, that's why digging in and really understanding all the circumstances there. Okay, so who is available to care? I have two daughters here in town. I have a son, you know who's across the country. One daughter works. One daughter doesn't you know, who's available and who's available and willing and how much time do they have to provide care we know that caregiver burnout and caregiver burden is high and people want to do the they want to provide And they want to do it. But there's a limit, especially when they're raising their own children. So you know, the proximity of caregivers the time that they have. And, you know, again, financial resources is somebody, you know, you've heard situations where the adult daughter, perhaps, you know, quit her job in order to take care of mom, that's wonderful, if that is feasible, but it's not always.
April Ibarra 30:25
And you know, there's different levels of care, when we started talking about less care, you know, some people will need a little bit, but then eventually, they're going to need more. How comfortable are you, as the caregiver, helping mom, on and off of the toilet, helping your spouse, take a shower, you know, there's just certain things that perhaps Okay, family can do groceries and housekeeping and help with a physician appointments, but we need somebody in the home to help with the personal care. So that's all very personal, very individual, but things that definitely needs to be considered.
April Ibarra 31:05
Alright, we've already talked a little bit about family. And again, this is interesting, I'd love to hear some of your perspectives on dealing with families, I did geriatric care management for a bit. And that was the biggest challenge really is dealing with the family. But it you know, in the best case scenario, you want to involve family, because essentially, they, they will probably be involved in some of the care. But it starts with the aging loved one. So these meetings do not occur, you know, without them or, you know, they there could be discussions, but again, you cannot develop a plan, or implement a plan without the older adult. And you want to start with what is the needs of the older adults. So it's good to start the conversation. So what are the needs and assessing and considering prioritizing the needs, sometimes we have to choose and pick our battles. What's important to me, may not be worth fighting about, maybe it's the way dad keeps this house now that mom has passed. How important is that? Now, if he's hoarding, and it's a safety risk, because we all you know, it seems like hoarding is a really, really big issue for older adults, I actually had a very good friend of mine from high school reach out to me, she knows I'm a gerontologist, she wanted to talk about her aging mother, who was hoarding, who's 87 years old, who's been doing this forever, and who is actually quite hateful and spiteful. And so I, you know, you have to really be aware of, of what's a safety risk, and what's something you really should, you know, fight your battles about.
April Ibarra 32:56
So you need to prioritize those, not everything needs to be assessed, or dealt with research your options, know what's available, we're going to do this ahead of time to avoid the crisis. Nothing worse than, you know, mom just had a fall down, she's in the hospital, she can't go back home, the homes not available. Now, what do we do?
April Ibarra 33:19
That's the worst case scenario, divide the workload, not every family member is going to be good at at all aspects of caregiving. But perhaps the you know, the daughter is very good at researching and interviewing caregivers, the son is, he's good at the budget, you know, whatever, divide the work, and then plan as much as possible.
April Ibarra 33:48
We've talked a little bit about family dynamics. But I think it's worth discussing a little bit more. And I think this is, again, is one of the biggest challenges because not everybody is going to agree. And there's usually one sibling who takes the majority of the care. And, you know, that's, you know, that's human nature, right. You know, there could be five siblings and the one sibling takes care of the majority of the work and the other siblings, you know, don't understand why, you know, they do that or why she's mom's favorite or whatever, it doesn't matter.
April Ibarra 34:26
We just have to know that coming into it. We're dealing with all the family history that that family has, and it's not going to change with this additional stress of trying to plan and manage for for the aging experience. So just being aware and understanding that it's not always going to be rosy. That's okay. family has always been, you know, sort of dynamic or operated in this way. It's not going to be any different with it.
April Ibarra 34:59
Dealing with, you know, mom's new illness. And the title. The top five hot buttons really include a couple things, illnesses one, right? So not everybody agrees. Mom has just been diagnosed with dementia. And half of the family agrees with that. The other half is like no, you know, mom's fine. She's just got memory problems. I think about the show, this is us, if anybody watches that program, when their mother was diagnosed, and the family was really on a very big disconnect, on how to manage the one son wanted everything to go just right, we got to get her into trials, we got to do this, the other son wanted to take her to Joan Baez, his home, so she could see where she lives so she could live the best life that she had, as she as she progressed in this disease. So that's stressful, because everybody's going to have a different opinion, including, but most importantly, what is it that the older adult once you know, in relationship to their newest illness? finances, boy, we don't have to go into that one too much finances and inheritance. It's amazing how challenging it can get when we're looking at a cost associated with care what money is going to be left who isn't going to be left to, you know, it's not pleasant to talk about. But it is a reality, it all goes to the family dynamics, and we have to be aware. But again, we're always trying to think of whatever is going on with the family is what is in the best interest of the older adults.
April Ibarra 36:53
Distance, big issue. I don't have stats on that. But we know that not all families live close enough to really be there. So that adds a lot of strain, especially if there's only one family member around who's available to help in it's all very stressful.
April Ibarra 37:12
It's all very stressful. But again, if the more we talk about it, the more we plan for it, the more we communicate, the less stress is going to be I think most times the stress is a result of lack of communication. And, you know, really understanding the changes and what's going to happen.
April Ibarra 37:36
Some tips for helping to communicate with aging parents, I think these are pretty simple. But first of all, we have to get started. That is the biggest challenge that we have right now with with lack of planning, again, is that we're just not talking about it. We're not, you know, and you know, and sometimes it can be as easy as Can we just plant the seed. You know, this isn't a one and done type of thing. Okay, I've had it with dads behavior, we're gonna sit down, and we're gonna figure this out that it doesn't usually work that way. And again, that's why starting sooner is better. Let's get started. Let's Let's be ahead of the game here. Let's have time to talk these things through before. Yep, mom's at the hospital, she can't come home.
April Ibarra 38:34
Dad is at home with mild dementia. And now we've got a real mess on our hands. So talking it out sooner is better. And forget the baby talk.
April Ibarra 38:44
Again, this is a huge pet peeve. I've been in healthcare for many years, I've seen it, people will come into the room and they will address the adult children and not the older adult who is the, the individual we're talking about. So, you know, again, I just I just feel very strongly about that, that we want to, you know, treat them as the adults that they are. And you know, it's tough because they don't always make the best decisions, right? We we want to protect older adults, we want them to be safe. And when they continue to do things that put themselves at risk. We want to step in and intervene. And I think that's part of the nature of wanting to protect older adults. However, we're really trying to maximize their independence. We're trying to help them and they should be allowed to make decisions. And they may not always be the best decision for for safety or for or what you think for example, my aunt dating a lot of people were freaking out about that because she actually went on match.com and started dating this gentleman and then she went to Virginia with him and people were like panicking and you know what, she's a grown woman, she's 76 years old, she doesn't have any form of dementia, she's very cognitive, she is making decisions. So let's talk to her as an adult, and not as a child.
April Ibarra 40:16
And again, we need to be aware of the whole situation. I mean, you know, we can just look at the house, that's a mess, or, you know, you know, whatever the situation is, and we have to put it into context.
April Ibarra 40:30
You know, many times when older adults lose their spouse have many years. You know, it's heartbreaking. When you think about, you've been married for 4050 years, and you lose your spouse. And you know, when you go into the home, and you see dad is not showering, and he's not cleaning up the house, and he's not going out anymore.
April Ibarra 40:53
Yeah, that's alarming. But understand the big picture here he's grieving. So we can't just say, Let's clean this house up, let's get you moving on, we look at the whole situation and help them move forward.
April Ibarra 41:08
Ask for help. That's the best thing a caregiver can do is is to be able to ask for help caregivers and older adults, it's very important that we really don't think that we can do this all alone, look for resources, ask for help support each other.
April Ibarra 41:32
We know that people want to remain at home. And I think it's going to be interesting, as we move into 2021, in the next decade of our history is what in the you know, what is it going to look like? And you know, it healthcare itself has just evolved, right?
April Ibarra 41:55
Hospitals, the way they operate long term care facilities, the way things are paid for. It's just sort of been there. And you know, as somebody who's in gerontology, I am consistently waiting for a bigger conversation on how are we going to manage our aging population in the future? You know, we know that it's coming, and you know, it's coming closer. What is it going to look like? And I think, because of what we experienced last year, that I think is going to get a lot more creative. And I think that's going to come from people who are setting expectations about what they want their life to look like, as they get older.
April Ibarra 42:37
That's going to create needs, that's going to, you know, force different options for people. And there are so many interesting trends that help support aging in place, and especially as it comes to technology, and, you know, everything that's available there, virtual health blew up, during, you know, during last year, because people could not get out to the doctor's office, it wasn't safe for them. So all of a sudden, you know, this is not new telehealth is not a new service. But it became very popular, and now it's being more reimbursed. I think, you know, people, I see older adults every day, spending their entire day trying to get out to the doctor's office to get their prescriptions. I mean, that's, that's the that takes the entire day.
April Ibarra 43:32
So virtual health is a great new, you know, opportunities, I think it's going to help tech enabled care organizations are setting up a lot of different things, because we know isolation and loneliness is a big concern. And especially now and it's not going to go away, right away. So there's a lot of different exciting things that organizations are doing to, to reach out and connect with older adults or older adults in their home.
April Ibarra 44:04
Smart homes, you know, are going to be great, and now we're recognizing that not everybody has access to broadband. So I think we're going to be looking more at how do we make sure that everyone has access, so they can use tablets, you know, for their virtual health or they can you know, have resources to communicate with people when they can't get home hospital at home. We're looking at more and more care being provided in the home and I think that's gonna be a trend that we're going to see soon. BestBuy is becoming, you know, is getting into the health care market and they're really looking at from a consumerism standpoint, people are looking at what is available for me to stay at home, and how can I purchase some of these things to to make my life better as I age, so I think we're going to see a lot of trends, I think they're going to come out of the demand for things to be a little bit different. And I think it's going to be very excited to see.
April Ibarra 45:14
So, who knows, I'd love to hear from you. And I think, you know, I love this quote, it's not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing. Everybody who works with older adults feels like, gosh, I wish there was more I could do. families who are caregivers wish there was more that they could do. But sometimes that's just not feasible, but it's the love and the care. And it's the intention of trying to improve the lives of our older adults, while also respecting their requests, their desires, and helping to support their aging experience.
April Ibarra 45:59
So I've went through a lot of information in a in a short period of time. I know that there are a couple of questions coming in. And I would love to hear from you thought, your own opinions on things we've talked about. So I'll I'll turn it over now to answer any questions.
April Ibarra 46:27
And I'm just looking at the one who's here. Do you think having a president who's nearly 80 years old, may change people's thinking about aging? Well, you know, my answer to that is going to be holy Heck, I hope so. Because it's not about the age, it's about the experience. It's about what people bring. I just finished a fantastic book called wisdom at work. And if you haven't read it, I would recommend it. It's by chip Conley. And it really talks about, again, the aging experience, after people retire.
April Ibarra 47:04
And I think you know, it, look, it's looking so much different. We have so much more to offer. And not everybody who retires, retires, well, they want to continue offering and giving things back. So I thought that was a great book. And so yes, I think having a president who's nearly 80 years old, should make us take a look at you know, what we're not done yet.
April Ibarra 47:30
What is hospital at home? You know, that's just a trend where more more care is being done in the home. Right? There are physicians who is, you know, who are going into the home, I think there's more technology so that different types of services can be in the home. And, you know, look at hospitals now and how overwhelmed they are with COVID. And before all this happened, hospitals were in a bit of a crisis, right, trying to manage the cost associated with the care that they were giving.
April Ibarra 48:07
You know, it's a fascinating subject. But the trend itself is I think more care is going to be done in the home.
April Ibarra 48:16
Looking at additional questions, I'll make sure I get to all these, how do we push for change without being too pushy? I like that question. And, you know, I, I older adults, just I've always been doing. I've been working with him since I was 18. I am a magnet for older adults. So I think part of it is we'll put the ball back in their court. So a lot of times when people say, for example, well, I don't want I don't want to end up in a nursing home. I'm like, okay, so tell me what you do want? And what are you willing to do to make sure that your dreams come true that your wishes come true? Are you willing to take you know, responsibility for your health? Are you willing to you know, start exercising so that your your muscles are strong to take care of yourself. And so it's really about understanding their goals, but then also putting them in charge of, you know, of what that activity or what that outcome will look like. So I think when we try to say, Oh, these these throw rugs have got to go because they're a falls risk, or, oh, you can't date You're too old. I'm a worried about you.
April Ibarra 49:31
That's not the easy approach. You treat them like an adult and then you let them also know the risks and the circumstances of decisions. In general, that's how I would answer that. I'm just going to go down the list here. That's okay. As I'm looking what's being done to train professional caregivers to provide effective care for people at home who have different types of dementia, different systems and challenges. You know, I think, you know, that's a good question. I know at home instead we have a very effective caregiver training program to deal with types of dementia. So, you know, it's no surprise that we're going to be dealing with more and more types of dementia. And I think Home Care Organizations certainly understand that.
April Ibarra 50:18
I think it's a lot more difficult in I will say health systems because, you know, if somebody is in the hospital and you don't know that person's history, or how they behave, how they you know what, you know, it's just hard, harder to communicate that I think from a home care perspective, organizations are doing a great job. And I think we need more education also. So family caregivers can better understand, you know, how to manage.
April Ibarra 50:50
Let's see, my siblings and I took care of my father for six years. And you're correct with regards to all about siblings think alike. But we did manage? Yeah.
April Ibarra 51:01
That's it. It's a compromise. Right. But it's not necessarily what we want. It's what's in the best interest of the older adult. It's a fascinating subject. 76 is still working. Yay. Love that. Is the Medical Education Committee doing anything to attract more students to pursue gerontology geriatrics? You know, that's a good question. I don't think I have an answer for that. But I know, I know, it's important. And I know even at home instead, we actually have an initiative through our foundation that really encourages students to get involved and understand careers. I'm always willing to talk to somebody, anyone who's interested in getting into the industry. Like I said, I had an undergrad degree in Health Promotion and Wellness, and gerontology, went back and got my master's. And for some reason, it's just, you know, I can't think of anything I'd rather do. And we need more people who understand geriatrics and gerontology is critical.
April Ibarra 52:08
All right, we've got a few more minutes. So I'm just going to keep reading, if that's okay. The stigma of aging tends to lead tends to lead to thinking of death. Should we teach more on the positivity that planning doesn't mean the end of life? Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that. Because to me, people don't want to talk about aging, because they think it's negative.
April Ibarra 52:31
They don't think of it as positive I think, Okay, I know, I'm a gerontologist, I know, I may be different. But when I think about aging, I'm like, so excited, because a I first, finally have, you know, the experience and the knowledge and the wisdom. I now am more financially stable, and I can decide what my life wants to look like. So I think, you know, we can emulate that, right? Everybody on this call can can emulate it, you know, what it looks like? And, and again, there's a dark side to aging as well, it, it's difficult. I mentioned that my neighbor who I saw, died over the holiday. And I struggled with that. But I also knew that he was older, he had a health history, he had a great life. They really plan for things. So it's a natural part of life. And I think him and his wife both felt that, yes, their life was wonderful. But eventually we all do die. But how can we take those final years of our life and be just incredibly engaged and happy and living the best life that we can? And again, that's very, very individuals. Do you think our health care system will transition to more of a staging a place? You know, I think that just depends on it all comes down to, you know, the needs, how how, how we how it gets paid for, you know, nursing homes this year, obviously got a very, very difficult situation with dealing with COVID. In and, you know, I don't know what's going to happen, but I believe that people should be able to age in place. But you also have to recognize that you're going to need help and resources and there could be a time when it's no longer appropriate. So again, it's just understanding the realities.
April Ibarra 54:32
Are there checklists, resources for family caregivers to help ask questions and keep our aging track for good living? Yeah, there are there are a couple of resources that I really like about aging planning and my email is in the PowerPoint. If you would like to email me I can share with you some resources that I think are good diets. Happy to do that.
April Ibarra 54:58
And I know we're running out of time. The 47 a guide book is available. And you can, you can look that up or you can send me an email, but it's the 47th resource guide. And I think you can find that on our we've changed our website a little bit, but you can Google Home Instead Senior Care 4070 guides, you should be able to find it or shoot me an email.
April Ibarra 55:23
Any books you can recommend my 86 year old mother's going to be staying with us for the winter books to recommend that helpful transition.
April Ibarra 55:33
I'm going to have to think about that one. So I think that came from Wendy, Wendy, if you want to shoot me an email, I can put some thought into that. Good questions. I know we're just about out of time.
April Ibarra 55:45
As a senior care professional, how do you walk the fine line of getting help for your loved ones, but not burning bridges? with your colleagues and Associates?
April Ibarra 55:56
That's a good question. I'm not sure I understand that completely. But boy, it's tough to be the senior care professional in dealing with your aging loved ones, because you know, you're still family, right?
April Ibarra 56:09
And I'm not quite sure how to answer that one. So I'll move on, but you are happy to reach out to me. Benefits of planning can't be overstated. It allowed me to step in and help my parents. Oh, that's great. Yeah, we always think about the legal and medical documents. And those are essential, but so much more.
April Ibarra 56:30
Is it a good point of reference to suggest caregivers look to the medical professional on next level of care? I would say yes. You know, if you have a good relationship with, with your medical professional, I would love that they would get more involved. But honestly, I don't know that they have the time or necessarily the understanding always.
April Ibarra 56:54
So I think it takes a village.
April Ibarra 56:57
So, you know, tap into all your resources. And definitely rely on your medical professionals, if you have a good relationship with them.
Lakelyn Hogan 57:51
Thank you April for that excellent presentation. And thanks everyone for listening to this episode of empowering professionals in aging, presented by Coleman stead and hosted by the American Society on aging. For more information about home instead, visit home instead.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai