Kindness, Empowerment and Independence: The Mission of Mom's Haven of Hope

Ever felt alone facing the world? Imagine facing it as a young single mother. It's a reality for many women in the United States, a third of whom live in poverty. But there's hope. Today, we're joined by Pam Powell, the incredible woman leading Mom’s Haven of Hope, a non-profit organization that's making a difference. Pam's personal journey and her determination to empower single mothers is nothing short of inspiring. Through her organization, she offers not just housing and support groups, but also equips mothers with the necessary skills to live an independent life.

Mom's Haven of Hope has a unique approach to support. They provide stable housing, set rules and goals, and even charge a low fee for room rentals. This isn't just about offering a handout - it's about teaching single mothers to fish, so to speak. It's about equipping them with tools for self-sufficiency, whether it's through trade schools, college, certificate programs, or practical life skills like budgeting and scheduling. There’s a whole lot more to Pam’s mission, and we can't wait for you to hear all about it. Join us for a conversation that’s sure to leave you feeling moved and inspired to spread kindness in your own way.

As always if you would like to share your own story of kindness, feel free to reach out. Simply pick a method from my Linktree!

Transcript

Mom's Haven of Hope

Speaker 1 0:00

Kindness, we see it all around us. We see it when someone pays for someone else's coffee or holds the door open for another person. We see it in the smallest of gestures, like a smile or a kind word. But it's different when we turn on the news or social media. Oftentimes what we hear about what outlets are pushing is the opposite of kind. Welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. Our goal is to give you a place to relax, to revel its stories of people who have received or given kindness, a place to inspire and motivate each and every one of us to practice kindness every day.

Speaker 1 0:39

Hello and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun, and I was reading some statistics last week about single mothers. Basically, right now in the United States, there are nearly 11 million single parent families in the United States And of those, almost 80% are headed by single mothers And of those, nearly a third, or 31%, live in poverty And I wanted to talk about that and I wanted to bring on somebody who is doing something about that or to help the situation. Her name is Pam Powell and she heads Mom's Haven of Hope. Welcome to the show, pam.

Speaker 2 1:37

Well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 1:41

And this is such a cool thing. And I don't know I must have ran across you on Facebook or through some of my Chamber of Commerce friends, but when I heard about it I thought what a cool thing. But this has been a long time coming for you, hasn't it?

Speaker 2 2:00

Yes, it has. I went on 19 years now.

Speaker 1 2:04

Oh my goodness, can you tell us a little bit about how this whole idea got started in your head?

Speaker 2 2:11

Okay, well, the whole idea started when my teenage daughter became pregnant And it was her senior year in school And we had her stay in her house and she had plans to go to school after that And I said, well, keep on with your plans. And so we allowed her to live in her home with us and she had to work to pay for her own baby child's needs, and I said I would help her to get through school as far as taking care of her baby. And that's what I did, and that's how I got involved in this, and from this, i just thought it would be so awesome to be able to offer something like this for other young single moms.

Speaker 1 2:58

Sure.

Speaker 2 2:59

Because not everybody comes from a supportive family.

Speaker 1 3:02

No, they do not.

Speaker 2 3:04

Or they might not have the ability to do that.

Speaker 1 3:08

Right, yeah, absolutely So. I mean statistics are one thing, but I mean do we see this a lot where young people are getting pregnant? And then I mean I remember, you know, back back in the day, we would hear about unwed mothers, but it was not something that seemed like it was everywhere. I don't know of anybody in my high school graduation class that had to leave school because they were pregnant. I graduated in 1979. So I don't know if it's a generational thing or is this a problem these days?

Speaker 2 4:03

Well, I wouldn't call it a problem.

Speaker 1 4:06

I think it's more widespread than maybe most people would think.

Speaker 2 4:11

Oh yeah, because even with with my daughter when she was pregnant, she was thinking of quitting school And I told her at that time. I said you walk through the parking lot because she went into a community college. I said you walk through the parking lot and see how many car seats you see in the back of the seat, back seats.

Speaker 2 4:31

Yeah you're not the only one You know, and I just wanted her to know that. You know she wasn't the only one and there were others like her who had babies and went to school and completed their degree And they could be older than her. You know you have 20, 20, 23, 30 year olds that have babies.

Speaker 1 4:52

You know, without And I think that's probably the mothers that you've worked with. Is that kind of a thing for them? They think, oh my God, i'm the only one, and what am I going to do?

Speaker 2 5:08

Well, they never think their relationship is going to end. That's part of what I see, and nobody wants to be a single mom. They don't go, wake up and say I want to be a single mom.

Speaker 1 5:18

Right.

Speaker 2 5:19

You know they're all in relationships with you know men and boyfriends, and you know they think this is going to be what their life is going to look like, and then it doesn't turn out the way they planned.

Speaker 1 5:31

Right.

Speaker 2 5:32

A lot of single moms become that way because their marriages or their relationships did not work out as they had hoped, and that's why I want to pick up those pieces for them, because even if their plans didn't work, they can still do this as a mom and raise their child.

Speaker 1 5:51

Right. So for 19 years you've been. This has been brewing in your head. I really want to help these people. You know what's the best way to do that. And then this year was it just this year that you started mom's haven of hope? It wasn't.

Speaker 2 6:08

No, it was in 2011 that we became a 501C3 for the purpose of housing. Before that, we had support groups for single moms, and even after 2011, we had support groups. The thing that we found out in the support groups is they're awesome. I think it's a great thing to offer and I still will do that. But with these young moms, you have them for two hours every other week And then they go back into whatever living situation it is And sometimes they're not always good Right Situations. It's sleeping on somebody's couch or living with a group of friends so that you can all survive, or you know, whatever it is.

Speaker 1 6:57

Sure.

Speaker 2 6:58

Couches are homeless. Oh Living on the couch is considered homeless by today's standards.

Speaker 1 7:05

What do they call it? Couch surfing? Yes, couch hopping, wow.

Speaker 2 7:09

Yeah.

Speaker 1 7:11

I can't imagine being pregnant and in that situation, because sometimes they've already had the baby when you find them right, and then sometimes they have not yet.

Speaker 2 7:23

Right.

Speaker 1 7:24

Okay.

Speaker 2 7:26

And there are maternity homes available. I am in association with three or four maternity homes in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 7:34

Okay.

Speaker 2 7:35

They can go while they're waiting to have their baby.

Speaker 1 7:39

That's what I was going to ask A definition of maternity home for those that don't know. So it's someplace where you can go while you're waiting to have the baby. Right, your organization, and I think and I don't know, i'm not, i haven't studied the issue as much as I should have but your organization, and Especially this year, because I don't want to give it away I want you to tell What. What did mom's haven of hope do this year to further your, your, goals?

Speaker 2 8:17

Okay. Our goal was to start a home where single mothers could live for a Year or a year and a half, while they're just getting together the pieces of their life so that they can be financially independent Right top on my list for these we we are opening a home. That's what we're doing. Micah didn't want to tell you, but we are opening a home and we started building it in November of last year and it's complete and ready to go. Now We're looking for resident managers to live with the moms and their babies, and There will be four moms in the home.

Speaker 1 8:58

Okay, so you can handle four moms plus the residential mom.

Speaker 2 9:03

Yes okay so there's five bedrooms.

Transitioning to Independent Living With Support

Speaker 1 9:06

Yes, okay, so, but that is so cool That you could build a house for these, these young moms I tend to say girls, but they're women. I mean, if you're having a baby, you're a woman, right? Mm-hmm. That where they can go and they can get their lives together. That's so cool. Now, it's not your program, it's not a free ride. You can, you know, stay here and play video games or whatever You, you have some rules.

Speaker 2 9:43

Yes, there are rules and then they also have goals They have to be meeting. We do charge a program fee.

Speaker 2 9:51

Okay so it's kind of transitional housing in that, in that aspect, you know, then maybe they live free at the maternity home, if they live there, or at their own home. But now it's time to start Realizing it. You know it costs money to live, so our fees very low for the room that they're renting. But it's a stepping stone to help them realize Oh, now I have an apartment to rent out later, so they'll have to work for that. I mean find a job. And And also we want them to work toward schooling So that they can earn a more livable wage than a job they might obtain now. So it's other choice, you know, whether it's a trade school or a start college or Some other skills certificate program. But yeah.

Speaker 2 10:41

Those goals so that they can have a livable wage and support them and cells in their child and all of those things They're gonna have.

Speaker 1 10:48

They're gonna find out sooner or later, helping, what the real world Is. That is that like a boomer thing to say, well, when you get out in the real world, i Maybe, i don't know, but that's a parental thing to say. I think I've said that a few times.

Speaker 2 11:08

Yeah. Well, we just want them to realize they can do it on their own. You know, yeah Was a mom of singlet right. So you know.

Speaker 1 11:24

But it's so. That was a horrible, guttural thing to say I There's just so much about this that I like and so much that. Well, first of all, this was not something. There aren't a lot of organizations around like yours are there.

Speaker 2 11:46

No, we found that out especially in Anoka County When we had moms that were part of our group that needed housing. There was very little for them. I mean, we have a couple of battered women shelters, we have shelters for single people And right now there's one other home that I know of that houses moms, but that just started two in the last five years, so it's fairly new, and there may be others that I'm unaware of.

Speaker 1 12:17

So yours is an organization that is not only neat and well you're needed, But and also somewhat unique.

Speaker 2 12:31

Yeah, it's unique in that we're not going to be a shelter, it's not a temporary. You come here for two months. You know, our goal is to keep them long. Let them live there longer.

Speaker 1 12:42

It's not a flop house.

Speaker 2 12:44

No, yeah.

Speaker 1 12:46

But so, in addition to incur well, you make it a requirement that they keep going to school if they're still in school, and then do you require them to go get a further education so they can get a better job. Or is that more of a suggestion?

Speaker 2 13:06

No, I would say it's a requirement.

Speaker 1 13:08

Okay, so they have to be actively trying to better their lives.

Speaker 2 13:11

Yes, yes. It's we're trying to give them a help in hand and all the support that we can so that they can achieve those goals.

Speaker 1 13:20

Sure, sure, but you also teach them life skills right, things that they probably and I had another idea earlier in the year and I want to do this about stuff they don't teach in high school or in school anymore, but I mean doing a budget for your household and doing that kind of thing you guys teach that right, you give them those skills.

Speaker 2 13:42

Yes, that that will be. Another key part of the program is the life skills. You know how do you clean a house, How do you buy groceries on a budget?

Speaker 1 13:52

Right, how do?

Speaker 2 13:52

you plan your schedule for the week. You know how we, even in our support groups, we had. How do you change the tire in the car? Yeah, your oil. You know those little things are in like. I know I've had volunteers already saying, well, do you need somebody to mow the lawn or do the snow blowing? I said, well, that is a great life skill for the moms to learn. They can all take turns mowing the lawn. And how do I mow the lawn when I have a baby?

Speaker 1 14:23

How do I go?

Speaker 2 14:24

shopping. When I have a baby, they're not allowed to let leave the baby home and go shopping at our, because they wouldn't on their own anyway. Right, we have to prepare them for living in that apartment or home of their own. So they're going to have to bring baby with them to go shopping.

Speaker 1 14:42

Now, some of the women you take in have already had their babies. Is that correct, or?

Speaker 2 14:46

no, they probably, they all will have had their baby Okay but so you won't have anybody who's actively pregnant. No, because we have a maternity home that we have a collaboration with. So okay that would be the closest they would be to Okay so they'll all have their.

Speaker 1 15:01

But yeah, it's, it's hard to find, even in an emergency situation, a place where you can go with your child. I would think right. I don't, i mean I'm. I'm friends with Steve Griffiths and he's the executive director over at Stepping Stone emergency housing up in Inoka. I'll be talking to him later, but that was one of the things that he stressed. you know you can't come here with kids, right, yep? So yeah, it's, it's it's fighting to.

Speaker 2 15:38

It's hard with kids to find housing.

Speaker 1 15:41

That's family.

Speaker 2 15:42

There's family promise in Inoka County.

Speaker 1 15:45

Okay. So, but still, we could always use more right.

Speaker 2 15:51

Oh, there's a lot more.

Speaker 1 15:53

We receive a lot of calls, So how do you, what do you mind talking about your selection process, or if not, that's fine. I didn't. I didn't prepare you for that question, it just popped into my head.

Speaker 2 16:09

Well, a lot of our selection would be based on their goals. You know, okay, that they have. You know if they, if they have a job or are going to be working, or if they want to go on to school, those kind of things.

Speaker 1 16:23

Sure.

Speaker 2 16:25

The domestic violence probably would be better served in a different environment for them.

Speaker 1 16:31

Alexandra House for example.

Speaker 2 16:33

Yes, there's other resources for that, so I think we would tend to steer them to them, because they are better equipped to handle that than we are.

Speaker 1 16:42

But it just seems so. I can't imagine being a woman in that position. You're having a baby, you know you don't have a place to live And you're not sure if your friends or family members are going to deal with having a baby who's up at 2 am for feedings and all of that, all that goes along with that, and just the whole stress of you know what am I going to do, must be overwhelming.

Speaker 2 17:13

Right, yeah, they a lot of times call in in tears or in panic. You know, they've tried a lot of different things and they're just trying to find a place to live. And they do have other resources in other counties.

Speaker 1 17:28

Sure, but none like yours. Yeah, i knew a family and their son and his girlfriend had gotten pregnant And her parents actually kicked her out of the house for that. They kicked her out. Luckily they were able to find an apartment together, they had the baby and life is good for them now. But I mean, i'm sure that's probably not the vast majority of those stories. I'm sure that's not how it goes.

Speaker 2 18:04

Yeah, I would think not. usually It's hard. It's hard when you're that parent.

Speaker 1 18:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:13

You know, I just didn't. I had a heart for taking my daughters in.

Speaker 1 18:20

Well, sure, absolutely. I would think that as a parent, yeah, yeah, i can't see turning away somebody in that much need.

Speaker 2 18:32

Well, there's maybe different reasons, So I don't judge that.

Speaker 1 18:36

Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 2 18:37

Fair enough, Well, because it is hard as a parent to have your child and their child there, because you cross a lot of boundaries.

Speaker 1 18:50

There are a lot of boundaries. There's ways that you and I, as a parent, might do things with that child that your son or daughter or your child might not want to do with their child. But yeah, i can't.

Speaker 2 19:06

Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:07

Yeah, that would be equally hard.

Speaker 2 19:10

Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 19:12

It's still better than homelessness. What, but still better than homelessness.

Speaker 2 19:18

Yeah, it is. But that's You know sometimes kids listen better to somebody else than they do to you. That's true, that's true, you know, and I think that would be great to offer that For somebody. Even even if you have a good relationship with your child, it might just be better for them to live in a home like ours.

Speaker 1 19:41

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2 19:42

They can have different. We can never have too many people in our court Right to be to be saying, hey, you can do this. Yeah, and every one of those four girls is gonna be.

Speaker 1 19:56

They're gonna be a team, a tribe more or less, or the, the village, as they say. It takes a village. They're gonna be each other's village, encouraging them.

Speaker 2 20:09

Yeah, the house parents that are there are going to be there, you know, guiding them and giving them the encouragement they need. And If we have the other people Come in. You know, with the classes that we have, they're all going to be there. Everybody's supporting them. I I have pictures Of all the supporters who have come around them so far getting this house ready.

Speaker 2 20:31

We have a whole group of people come in and clean and you know they're so excited about the moms that are going to live there and We had people put up the fence and That's in our backyard and they're excited to support these mom and I have pictures of all of them. You can go on our face facebook page and find that and They just are so excited to be able to support these moms in this.

Speaker 2 20:58

Yeah home and they can't wait to kind of hear the stories of how a mom has been able to Say, graduate with a degree that she never thought she would be able to do because she had a baby. You know, and now she can, and you know, and she and you're giving them that. I'm giving her the opportunity, yes, to continue on with her dreams and her goals and Still be blessed with her child.

Speaker 1 21:26

Sure, i feel like I did this interview with you too early, pam, because I really want to know the the success stories and maybe we can check in later.

Speaker 2 21:36

That would be great. I I want to check in, you know, maybe in in six months, well, six months.

Speaker 1 21:42

When do you get your first girls?

Speaker 2 21:44

Oh, as soon as we find the resident manager, we're in the interview process right now. Okay and getting people who will come in and be with the moms, and So that's yeah, that really does have to be in place first. Yes, yes, we don't want the moms living there by themselves at this point.

Speaker 1 22:02

Yeah. So, oh, that's so exciting and and god bless you for for doing this. I mean I realize it's a passion project of yours and You don't do it for the thanks or the kudos or the accolades. You do it because it's a right thing to do. But I mean That that's amazing, That's great. Thank you so much for what you do.

Speaker 2 22:27

Yes, it's been A joy to do it. It's kind of it's now. It's the fun part to me We, after all the years of building up to this. Now it's kind of coming to fruition and I I'm so excited to meet those first few moms and get them on on their road to success and to see what happens in their lives and We'll probably be friends with them for a long time.

Speaker 1 22:54

And how long did it take to build the house? just out of curiosity.

Speaker 2 22:58

Well, November through The end of March.

Speaker 1 23:02

Oh, they were building it during the winter.

Speaker 2 23:04

Yes, we built it over the winter.

Speaker 1 23:06

Oh, boy, but it went out.

Speaker 2 23:08

It was it all they did a great job.

Speaker 1 23:11

So we had a lot of snow this winter.

Speaker 2 23:16

Well, you get the shell up, and then it doesn't matter how much yeah, that's true, that's true inside work.

Speaker 1 23:22

That's so fantastic.

Speaker 2 23:24

So that's what's one thing. So that's nice too is it's a perfect area because there's bus stops, there's the train station nearby, good area for Accessibility. Yeah, yeah, for sure get to school or to a job, absolutely. Absolutely they don't have a car.

Speaker 1 23:42

that shouldn't be too much of a hindrance, yeah, and there's a very good chance that if they were out on their own, they wouldn't have a car. But yeah, like you said, there's a lot of public transportation options out there In that area. That's fantastic, yep, fantastic, okay. Well, pam Powell of mom's haven of hope, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me today. I absolutely love what you're doing um all of the links You're. You're on facebook for sure. Are you guys on insta gram?

Speaker 1 24:15

Yes okay, your website. Of course, Those will all be in the show notes. So I know anybody who feels like they feels called to To give and help you guys out. They can go right there and and find all those ways to support you.

Speaker 2 24:30

So okay, we're, we're linked in. Also, if you're linked into, all the socials. We, we advertise everywhere.

Speaker 1 24:40

Thank you so much for taking the time to be with me, pam. I really, really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 24:45

Well, thank you for having me fantastic, we'll talk later.

Speaker 1 24:48

I do want to do a follow-up show.

Speaker 2 24:51

Oh, that would be great. I'd love to be able to tell the stories.

Speaker 1 24:54

That'd be great.

Speaker 2 24:55

Maybe when one mom could do it.

Speaker 1 24:57

Oh, that would be even better Yeah it would be, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 25:01

You can come with me and tell, tell her story.

Speaker 1 25:04

Yeah, i've gotten the hang of doing two interviewees at the same time now, so I'm good. Okay take care.

Speaker 2 25:12

Okay, thank you.

Kindness and Self-Sufficiency

Speaker 1 25:16

I can't imagine anything more stressful than being young, potentially single and having no place to live and being pregnant. I mean those factors and I know it happens. I know it happens, probably more than I would like to think it happens, but I really have to give a shout out to Pam Powell and Mom's Haven of Hope. Such an inspiring and kind thing that she is doing And you know you might want to look at it and go well, but they're making them do this and that and the other thing Kindness is not giving away everything. Kindness is not giving. It's teaching young people how to live for themselves and to support their new families. That's kindness, and so I really do admire Pam Powell and Mom's Haven of Hope for that Fantastic show. Again, look in the show notes for all of the information, and we will be back next week where we will have another episode. But until then, be that person who roots for others, who tells a stranger that they look amazing and encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams.

Speaker 1 26:42

You have been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. I am your host, mike Rathbun. Thank you for the gift of your time today And, as always, have a fantastic week.