Six Weeks To Better Leadership Habits

Ever notice how fast “great” shows up in status updates—and how little it explains? We dig into the quiet habits that separate busy leaders from effective ones, starting with a bold experiment: give up being right for six weeks. Instead of supplying answers, we practice staying curious longer, asking for specifics, and creating short pockets of headspace that sharpen judgment and reduce reactivity.

We share simple scripts to turn shallow check-ins into real conversations: What does great mean? What changed since last week? What risk remains? What help do you need? When you pair those questions with the intent to support rather than to catch, teams lean in, own their choices, and surface issues early. We also confront the comfort of platitudes—those political-sounding lines that soothe without informing—and replace them with concrete tradeoffs, timelines, and metrics that actually steer work.

You’ll hear personal stories of parenting language, leadership missteps, and the surprising power of seven quiet minutes in a parked car. We map a practical six-week challenge: remove one answer you’d usually give, add one probing follow-up to every 1:1, block ten minutes of thinking time each day, and ban “it was great” unless it comes with evidence, decision, and next step. The payoff is real capacity growth without extra headcount—clearer ownership, fewer surprises, and faster iteration driven by the people closest to the work.

If this sparks a change in how you lead, share it with a manager who needs less control and more curiosity. Subscribe for more practical leadership playbooks, and drop a review telling us what you think leaders should give up next.

Transcript

Low-Key, Loki, And Language

Karman 0:30

Good morning, Scott and Tammy. Good morning, Karman.

Speaker 0:36

Hi, Karman. Hello. How are you? You're so weird.

Karman 0:40

One of these days I'm gonna start like low-key like that. So Scott has to bring it up when he responds.

Scott 0:49

When you mean low-key, do you mean low-key, or do you mean like what the kids nowadays are saying low-key?

Speaker 4 0:55

Low key. I I didn't know. That's a thing.

Scott 0:57

Oh, yeah, there's a whole thing. Like, yeah.

Speaker 4 1:00

But low-key is a character from is also a character in Marvel.

Scott 1:05

Marvel. Yeah, so it could be, you know, I want to kind of keep it down. You know, I'm gonna have low, lower energy, low-key, or low-key, the evil Thor's brother, right? Evil brother.

Speaker 4 1:17

Right. Thor's evil brother, yes.

Scott 1:20

From from Marvel, or low-key is uh like uh curious, is I believe what that means.

Speaker 4 1:27

You know, the English language is shifting significantly on me very quickly.

Scott 1:31

I know, but I mean, you know what's so interesting? There are some things that remain the same, like you're a stupid f that still means the same thing.

Karman 1:40

Tammy almost did a spit take, dear audience. I'm sorry that you missed that. Just had a sip of coffee.

Scott 1:48

So I am going to choose to use consistent language so that people don't misunderstand so there's no confusion, clear as kind. Like I think that is that is the responsible thing to do as a leader. Scott, have you ever given up swearing for Lent? I have not. I I will say no, that just won't happen.

Speaker 3 2:13

When when you were when your kids were little, did you try not to swear in front of them?

Scott 2:19

I did. And and so uh the the funniest thing was when Josh was little and we, you know, we lived on a small ikery south of Des Moines, and we had a cat, like an outdoor cat that adopted us. And you know, this was before TikTok. So of course, you know, I wish I would have had this on video. And it would always try and run in to the house when you had the door. So I'm carrying groceries and I'm walking in and it zips between my legs. And when you walked into that house, it was I could go straight in and down into the into the old farmhouse basement, or you turn right up a couple steps into the kitchen. I about fell down the basement steps, and I said, That damn cat. And of course, Josh is right there, and he so innocently says, What'd that damn cat do, Daddy? So, yes, and my mother-in-law taught them shit. Oh, purposely, yeah, not on purpose, just because she says that's just aweshit. And so, yeah, I can remember, I don't even remember what one of the kids they said, yeah. So, yeah, we didn't swear as openly as we do now, but yeah, I mean they're gonna learn at the same time as far as I'm concerned, they might as well learn it from me.

Speaker 3 3:38

So, yes, I can't even speak.

Scott 3:41

I mean, Candy's choking on her Belveeta cookie, and yeah, and we just we always thought it was important, uh you know, they learned it. On this podcast, parenting advice from Scott. Oh I mean, we always we always taught the kids proper terminology, right? So I can remember when I will not name what child, um, but I can remember changing a diaper in a target bathroom. And you know, they're young enough to be in diapers, but old enough to talk and form coherent sentences. Okay. And, you know, I'm cleaning up. Daddy, girls have a vagina and boys have a penis, right? Yep, you're right. I did it! And of course, the person in the stall that should just bust out laughing.

Speaker 3 4:38

And there you were, proud papa.

Scott 4:41

I'm like, I mean, we just we we just really didn't that is what it's called. That is that is a true statement.

Speaker 4 4:48

Yeah, so I'm not sure that I'm ready for any of this at this time in the morning, but that's okay.

Karman 4:54

That's okay.

Scott 4:55

That's all good. Well lessons from lessons learned from Scott Bird. Yeah, yeah. What what was that old Saturday Night Lives Git? Were they? Oh, it was Deep Thoughts.

Karman 5:08

Oh, Jack Handy.

Scott 5:10

Yeah, yeah.

unknown 5:11

Yeah.

The Lent Challenge For Leaders

Karman 5:12

There you have it. So your parenting advice is deep thoughts.

Scott 5:16

Yeah, yeah. We could probably put it together. Deep thoughts today from Scott.

unknown 5:22

Oh Lord.

Scott 5:25

I can see it now. I'm I'm gonna be on call on the call map really soon. It's gonna be fantastic.

Speaker 4 5:31

I can just see it honestly. People will flock to your deep thoughts, Mr. Bergmeyer. They are we stupid flockers. Yep.

Karman 5:39

Stupid flockers. Well, I ask about whether you gave up wearing for Lent, because Lent is about to happen here, and not that everybody particularly recognizes it, but there is something kind of powerful about deciding to make a change for six weeks and make it a habit and or break a habit, as the case may be. So, my question for you guys today is if you got to pick something for leaders to give up for six weeks, what would it be? And it can't be for each other because that's a different podcast.

Speaker 4 6:23

I thought that was your what you were gonna actually ask in the beginning. And I was like, Oh, now I gotta find a singer, and then I thought, oh, and then you didn't, so I was like, Okay, I don't have to worry about that, but uh yeah, so Scotty can still say it and it can be for that person, you just don't have to say it's for that person.

Karman 6:40

Oh like I think leaders should give up, yeah.

Speaker 4 6:47

So yeah, we could we could, or or you know, our listeners can infer. So, Scott, do you have one?

Scott 6:53

I have a couple, I have one, yeah. And so I'm I'm I'm mentally like, which one is more impactful?

Stop Having The Answer

Speaker 4 7:01

I didn't even go past my first thought, so I could like do deep then go first and go past my first thought. But alas, um, the first go ahead, Julia. Yeah, oh oh now he now he's really calling us names. If you have not read the book, think he just called me jumping Julia, as in I jumped to a conclusion. I would say I was more like Speedy Gonzales, I had a really good thought right away. Oh, running Roddy. Okay, go ahead. I'm gonna beat you. If you were here, I literally would just like, you know. All right. So in this space, I will tell you that the first thing that came to mind was that they needed to not provide the answer, right? So we talk about it as in stay stupid longer. I don't want them to give that up. I want them to give up being right. Okay. I want them to give up having the answer, bringing things to the table, always having, you know, this is what you need to do, and slow that process down and make space for others so that others can think things through and come up with good solutions. So that was the first thing that I thought of. So, Scott, you had two. Was that one of yours?

Follow-Up Beyond “It Was Great”

Scott 8:17

No, I mean, I think it's tied to one of mine, because mine was mine was really around the follow-up and check-in, not to check the box, to be curious and truly understand. Because many times we're not we're not executing. And when we're not executing, it's because I haven't really done the real check-in to understand. I'll ask the question, how's it going? Oh, it's going great, right? And not saying, Well, what does great mean? Or I was just I was with I was with a group of leaders last week, and you know, they'd they'd have a conversation or they'd apply one of the one of the concepts. We had a week-long training session with a client, and I would say, How was that conversation? And they would say, It was great. And I would follow up with, what does great mean? And then you'd hear crickets because they're like, Oh, I'm I'm used to being able to just say it was great or it was wonderful, or it was, and no one's ever asked me a follow-up question. And so making, you know, pushing people to think it through, pushing people to like demonstrate, not to catch them, not to like, you know, break their soul, but to be like, yeah, like I'm really curious and I want to understand and I want to support you. And sometimes that support might be I need a problem solve with that person, or sometimes that support might be a little kind of kick in the ass because oh, they haven't moved along and they've been kind of sitting on it. Do you know, Scott?

Karman 9:49

It's a great, it's a great spot for the growth questions too, right? For sure. What's going well, what's not going so well, you know, what would you do differently? Sorry, Tammy. Go ahead. No, it's that piece about specificity.

Platitudes Vs Specifics In Leadership

Speaker 4 10:02

Is that a word? I just made it up. I just decided it was part of the English language. I was watching a group of people who are running for an HOA board the other day. And the way that they ran this meeting is everybody had to turn in their questions for these candidates. And they just pulled them out, you know, randomly out of out of the box and then would ask that question. They asked the audience to not participate because they just wanted the candidates to have the time. And Scott, you just said something because one of the things that the candidates did is they used platitudes. So there was a really tough question, and then they would say, I'm gonna do what's best for the perk. Well, that doesn't tell you a single solitary thing, right? I mean, it's a typical, it's a typical political response. It's a typical political response, and I think we don't understand that our staff does that too, and that when you do not ask a tougher question to begin with, or if you don't ask the follow-up questions, you are uninformed. And as a leader, if you are uninformed, that piece about like later on getting blindsided, and you'll say things like, I didn't know. And and as a leader, when you didn't know, there's a really good chance you're either not having the one-on-ones, which you need to have, or you're having them, and it really is just like us talking about the weather. There's nothing meaty in that particular conversation, and you're not pushing that conversation into something meaty and important and informative in that particular spot. And again, not to catch anybody, not to say, Oh, I caught you and you know, you're in a lie or whatever that is, it's more about pushing them into that thinking spot. So you think about our two questions, right? I am saying, hey, don't bring the answer to the table, and you're saying, here's how in that spot. Yeah, right. And I I think that's really kind of interesting that both of us landed on the same thing. Because in that space, if we are pushing our followers to come up with the answer, pushing our followers to think about that more deeply, in that space, what we are doing is we're growing the capacity of the organization, not by asking people to work longer, not by adding bodies, right, that we have to pay for, but by actually tapping into this resource that so often as an organization we overlook the brilliance of our people who are true, that's the true resource of this of every organization. And so I think that's interesting. We both land in the same space.

Scott 12:51

Yeah. Harmon, what would you suggest for leaders to give up for six weeks?

Speaker 12:58

Swearing. Swearing, nice. Hell no, public swear public swearing or hmm, there you go.

Karman 13:13

So I used to give up listening to the radio in the car. And uh and I and essentially I was just creating some space, some head space, and maybe to Tammy's point, thinking space, but just not even with an objective in mind, just like I'm creating some space. And I feel like maybe that's something that I would challenge leaders to try for six weeks. Like, what does that look like to create just you know, a few minutes a day of margin? And, you know, we might in the think book, we might call that thinking time. But for me, it's like just start out by creating the clean slate for whatever that ends up needing to fill in there.

Speaker 4 14:07

Karman, I'm giggling because I know how far you lived from the place that you worked. Guys, she she wasn't clean, like her flinking time was not like an hour or so.

Karman 14:18

Seven seven-minute commute. Although when I first started doing this, I was still doing kid drop off. So I really did have like a you know, 30, 35-minute loop of leaving the house and visiting a daycare and a school and you know.

Grow Capacity Through Better Questions

Speaker 4 14:38

Gosh, I've forgotten your kids aren't grown, so I don't even think about them from that particular standpoint. But that's that's it's interesting because even when we talk about the thinking time, we oftentimes are just suggesting 10 minutes, and and you watch you watch leaders' eyes when we're like, now what we're really saying is carve out 10 minutes a day, and they're like, Oh, that's like a whole hour over the course. We're like, Yeah, chill out, right? But again, we are addicted to activity, you know, we're addicted to like we just have to take action, and that piece of just taking a beat, right? And even a seven-minute beat, right? In Karman, once your kids were grown, seven, I mean, seven minutes seems like an eternity to some people, and yet it could be really, really powerful. I like that idea a lot, actually. Scott, do you jump into work immediately in the morning?

Scott 15:39

I mean, yeah. I mean, depend depend like this morning. I got up and and I fed the dog and then went to work, yeah.

Create Headspace And Thinking Time

Speaker 4 15:50

So I used to immediately go to work. I now don't. I now have time in the morning and I have a a routine, which since I was late this morning coming to the podcast, uh, I didn't get my routine in, right? But I do, I have this routine, and it is a quiet time for me. And so that's interesting, and that's something that I found that I needed it to get centered so that the rest of my day I am not volatile in terms of reacting versus being able to be more thoughtful. So that's that's something that I, Karman, I found as I've aged to just take a beat in the morning. Now, for me, it's usually an hour, all right? But that doesn't have to be an hour, it could be seven, 10 minutes. Interesting. Now that we've done those three, any others that we can think of? I think it would be interesting. We should ask our listeners, guys. Send us like what do you think leaders should give up? And if you're a follower, that might also be interesting. I think my leader should give up this, this, this, and this, right? But even as a leader, it would be interesting. Like, what do y'all think? I'd love to hear that, right? And that would be um something that we could maybe even come back to and let other people know what others think about this idea. So really good question, Kerman. Thanks.