S4E42 Divesting, Decentering, and now the 4B movement... Sigh

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Transcript

Speaker 2 (0s): Okay, so both in Bowties, let's get on into it. you know, I was on the TikTok this morning, and you know, I'm seeing now there are several content creators finally starting to talk about this four B movement that started in Asia, particularly Korea. Now, I did see one content theater that was Korean planes, that Korea knows nothing about this. But let me just say this, most of the, the content surrounding this, so-called four B movement, came from people reporting outta Korea.

And so for those of you who are unfamiliar with the four B movement, it's basically where women are, lemme see if I get it right. Don't, don't date men, don't have sex with men, don't have children with men, and don't marry men. Basically. They're swearing off men. And this is what I would say, okay? So you'll see people reporting on it coming to the us, you'll see people advocating for it.

And I, I don't know what it is about this because on the one hand, I don't believe in keeping for men. I just don't, I feel like men should be able to manage themselves to get themselves out of this crazy find that they're in, which is that they got a lot of vines. But I think the thing is, I see these women who look like me now getting out here on these apps and they're going full and hardcore, very, I don't know if it's Miss Sandra, but it is, it's definitely, I just kind of feel like this if you are focused on yourself, 'cause it started off with Decentering men now is turning into the four B movement.

But here, I feel like if you're going to do that, then you do it. Why do you need to preach about it? Right? Like, I feel like there's this concerted effort to counteract what happened when the manosphere whacked out weirdos kind of like reinvigorated itself. 'cause apparently the manosphere subculture has existed before.

But being that I'm not part of that blacked out weirdo manosphere, whatever, like, I don't know, know anything about that kind of stuff. So I wouldn't know about it. I don't know the fathers, the grandfather grandfathers and everything. Like the only thing I know is I. think it started with within, with a group of people who didn't look like me. And I guess now they're moving more onto the AltRight, like promoting like stuffs. I don't know, I could be getting it all wrong. But you've got people who look like me, particularly the black woman who look like, you know, look like me.

Obviously they are, I don't know. It's, it started off with like, okay, ladies first they were like, we needed to divest. It was either for men, then it was black men, I don't know. Then it went to Decentering and now it's, they want to take on this four B movement. And I'm like, okay, you clearly aren't doing work on yourself. It sounds good on the surface, but you've got women who are out here going hard.

And once again, I would challenge women to just focus on yourself without having to go hard on another group. So this four B movement, which I suspect is going to be at least popularized in social media spaces and, and start to enter its way into conversation I think it's just, just becoming another way to cause or to, to con to further toxic relationships between men and women.

Now, when I say I don't like keeping for men, I don't, I mean, don't get me wrong, like the chickens have come to fruit for a lot of men. And in many of the things that are being said in these circles, divestment circles, these sensory circles, four B movement circles, it's not like they, they, they, there is it some sort of truth to the discussion, but I don't understand this need to proclaim it from the hills like that da da da. Like that doesn't really make sense to me.

It's kind of like when they get mad at black men per se saying, I'm not dating black women. It's like, okay, so why are you bringing me into it? Just don't date them. like, you don't have to bring me into it. You don't have to tear me down if you wanna date other people, this is the things that they say, right? They say, why do you do these things? Then just go do it. If you're gonna be a passport route, then go do it. And so I kind of feel like I'm hypocrite much because I don't feel like you should have to continue to bring men into the conversation.

If you're trying to focus on yourself and live your best life that you're trying to convince people that you're doing, then do it. Show us how you're living your best life. Show me and you should be able to show me without tearing down anybody else. You should be able to show me without tearing down men. You should be able to show me without tearing down women in relationships and all that good stuff. And like I said, I don't like kb from men because they, a lot of chickens have come to rooster. Whatever that saying is, they're feeling it too.

They are feeling it And. they have to be allowed, their process to feel the effects of bad behavior. But what we don't need to do is get out here on these apps and continuously engage in these silly behaviors. We literally get out here and make 5 million videos letting everyone out. I am Decentering, I am Divesting now I wanna be part of the four B movement. I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm like, you, you, you clearly are angry about something and you're not being honest.

You clearly want that relationship or something. You're no different than the men. You are not, because you shouldn't have to get out here and go this psycho on an app about what your intentions are. I am Decentering, I am part of the poor B movement and I'm into divestment. Now. I do think there should be a level of divestment.

And when I say that, when I, and maybe I shouldn't use the word divestment I, think you should be opening your options. Should you choose to date I. think you should open your options if you're looking at people from a humane standpoint. Now, when I say these things, I want you to understand, I say that it, it is not lost on me that there are cultural differences, racial differences, et cetera in the United States here because the how we view people relationships is different than worldwide.

Okay? And then just not to say that I don't recognize that there aren't these, these barriers that you can't touch, right? What I'm saying is that you have to understand and you need to be willing to open your options, go into things with your eyes open, and know that both parties will be teaching each other things. And both parties are gonna make mistakes because there's so much racism and sexism and all the other isms that we have suffered from here in the United States that have to be unpacked for a while.

I mean, there's, there's, there's decades of it, centuries actually. So you, it's gonna be really difficult to like, you know, shift from some of these harmful thoughts to, to something that's more vanilla, more, I shouldn't say vanilla 'cause it sounds like it's like, I don't know, bias something, but, but you got understand where I'm coming from, right? Like, it's gonna take a long time to shift away from that. I mean, some of the young people are starting to do that, but what I'm saying is I do, when I say that there should be a level of divestment, maybe the word Divesting is not the word I want to use.

I just think you wanna make sure you are open to everyone. With that being said, I don't think people should be like, you know, these guys are are trash boxes. All So I mean. Yeah, there's some message. So what you can do is you can show people better than you could tell them. It's really that simple. Just like men who look like me, were who were dealing with, you know, a little bit of self hate and all kinds of things, you know, they showed us, right?

And so now what you have to do is you gotta let people be where they are. And I don't think there's anything wrong with dating interracially as long as you're not attacking where you came from, date, whoever you want. I, I mean, I don't know why I would care who you're dating, but I also am aware, let's be clear, I wanna make sure I, I wanna make this point. I also am aware that colorism plays a big effect. And back in the day, I'm sure I've benefited from it.

So me not caring is going to be different than someone who is more deeply melanated than me. With that being said, I wanna circle by, 'cause this isn't necessarily about colorism, it's just one of the isms that, you know, ails our community. I don't understand this need for women to get on these apps. Like, I can understand talking about what something is, but this, this public outside of public proclaiming of I'm not doing.

I'm like, okay, like, what, what are you doing? What are you doing? You can show people better than you can tell them, right? So what you do is you stop engaging in certain behaviors in relationships. You, you, I mean like, and so if you're going to be single by choice, then be single by choice. That's it. Do it. And if you're going to promote singleness, which by the way, there's nothing wrong with being single I think, but people mix up.

But there's, there's several things by nature, men and women want to copulate, they want to mate, they want to produce by nature, right? They want to be together. It's like the opposites attract, right? But also, there's nothing wrong in being single, especially with ly, right? I think the biggest thing is when you're single, people wanna treat it like it's taboo. It is not taboo. I just feel like society has placed some things on singleness.

And then what happens is you've got women who feel that pressure. Men too, in different ways. Women feel these pressures to marry, have children, et cetera. And when they don't achieve said status, then what happens is they start delivering strays to other people. They're mad at a variety of things, environmental factors, who knows whatever. Maybe there's healthy, I don't know. They're mad about certain things. And so what happens is that they start blaming men, men can be part of the problem.

They start delivering strays to married women. That's not to say that married women aren't nec, that some of the married women aren't in these bad relationships. But what they fail to discuss is the fact that men and women, if you have 40 year olds, whatever, you're gonna go through phases. So single women are gonna go through phases of things that are bothering them. That's why they're in and out of relationships. But then married women are gonna go through things, but their, their environmental factors are gonna be different, right?

Because now they, maybe they have a household they have to manage. So then they'll say, all these married women are miserable. I'm like, so are single women. Everybody's miserable, everybody's going through life, everybody's happy and everybody's miserable, if you understand my point. But they pick these, these, these points, And, they wanna run with it. Like, they get out there on the track, And, they, they run, they sprint with this. And I'm like, please stop. But getting back to, to the singleness, I feel like if you're going to divest and decenter and be a four B mover, then just do it.

I don't know why you have to stand on a mountaintop with your corner. Like, I don't get it. I don't, I, it's like so wild to me. It's like psycho, but you've got women out here doing it. And so it, it's actually almost like a fascinating point in time. Like, I wish I was in college and I could partic I could sit in the class and like unpack some of these things that we're seeing in, in our, our, the, the, the social context of, or the landscape that we have today.

I do think that this four B movement, that this, this name that's happening, I do think it's gonna pick up steam because obviously there are women who are fed up if frustrated, but so are the men. So men have created all kinds of movements. And, they have names for things. They call it being a passport bro and stuff like that. The women now are fak it, the, the four people of, okay, you know, they, they got a Decentering men thing and And, they got, they want everybody to know, excuse me, everybody, knock, knock, listen to me.

My name is Maggi Cutty and I am Decentering men. I'm Divesting Decentering and four B building. I want you to know this and I want you to know why it's so much better. And here put on your bulletproof vest 'cause you're gonna catch these strays. I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, this is what's happening right now. Look, I said what I said, I always said what I said, I think a lot of these movements, at least with the women, and I understand how they, how these movements can come about, by the way.

'cause they're not all wrong on some of this stuff, but they just have so much mess. I think like with women who look like me, especially if you're deeply melanated, they're catching extra strays, you know, because they, they just happened to be born a couple of shades darker. So then what happens is you start to see them take shots at lighter women instead of unpacking their, the impacts of colonialism and, and, and how these things have happened.

They'll take shots at light women. Not to say that light women don't play a part in carrying it all. What do you call it? Helping ion to live on or whatever like that. But you'll see, like, you'll see, what's the girl Renee, Candace from the Potomac Show. Real House of Barrel House was a Potomac. Now, I haven't watched the last season and a half, almost two seasons really, because it was just getting really silly for me.

But I've seen clips where she goes, she comes at Giselle with your white privileged looking a SS and stuff like that. And I'm like, well, whatever you're mad about, what does her skin tone have to do with anything? And she's constantly attacking this woman in her looks. Giselle, from what I've seen, I haven't seen the actual show in recent times. I've seen flips and I've, I've seen this show in the past. She's a nasty piece of work.

There's some humor to her, but she's a nasty piece of work. But to sit there and attack this woman's looks and beauty, first of all, you cannot deny that Giselle is, she's a gorgeous woman. She knows it. Let me tell you something, there's nothing wrong with a woman who knows that she is just flat out like stunning, right? And I'm sure she's been told all her life.

So, and to use her, her gorgeousness her for, you know, what brewery you were supposed to use it for good, right? I'm sure she's used it for not so good reasons. But the Candace girl loves to attack this woman for her looks. And I'm like, clearly Candace, you are jealous. You are, you are jealous. That might be why, you know, she's married to who she's married to.

Candace is jealous of this woman. Now, don't get me wrong, Giselle is a nasty piece of work too. But Candace cannot get past the way this woman looks. She cannot. So then that's my point is oftentimes you're mad about something else, but then women, other women or other people are gonna catch strays. And that's not what you're really mad about.

Look, I said what I said, and you guys are allowed to disagree. I would love to hear your commentary. I just don't like when people are disrespectful. Like disagreeing is fine. But then they'll be like, but what Judy does, I'm like, I really don't need to understand anything, but be clear. Or people wanna get in your comments and tell you what they like. you can disagree with something, but then they'll assume that you don't understand. I'm like, no, I just disagree. And usually I don't get into a whole lot of arguments. Sometimes I'll troll people back and I'm like, well, thank you for visiting the channel.

It's if you're dis, if you're, if you're disrespectful, there's no need for me to either really engage a whole lot because you are already starting off a certain way and it's actually making you look silly, not me, But. anyway, that's pretty much it. I said, what? I said, go ahead and leave a comment. I'm curious to see what you guys wanna say. Because like I said, all these women started off with, I'm Divesting, then he went to IM ding, and now it's the four B movement. I'm like, gimme a freaking break.

all right, I gotta go.