Park Bench to Park Avenue, Anthony Brown Talks about Homelessness, Meth, Recovery

What if the simple act of kindness could transform a life forever? Join us as Anthony, our incredible guest, shares his awe-inspiring journey from 23 years of homelessness and addiction to celebrating over 25 years in recovery. Anthony opens up about his early struggles, including running away from home at 14, and the pivotal moment when a compassionate police officer offered him a lifeline to rehab. Through Anthony's powerful story, we explore how genuine kindness and support can spark a turning point, paving the way to sobriety and personal growth. Hear firsthand how the shift from survival mode to living mode brings new coping skills and the freedom to face life's challenges.

Together with Anthony, we dive into the transformative power of unity in addressing societal issues like homelessness, substance abuse, and mental health challenges. Our dialogue highlights the importance of community and trust, and how consistent support enabled Anthony to embrace a new way of living. We hope to inspire our 1% in Recovery audience by sharing insights into the possibility of change when we come together for a common cause. This episode reaffirms the belief that everyone deserves to pursue the life they aspire to and demonstrates the impact we can have when actions are driven by collective effort.

Chapters

• 0:03 Recovery Journey From Homelessness
• 16:04 Fostering Change Through Unity

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Here we are live in PodFest in Orlando, but the podcast, the 1% Recovery, continues. We do not not continue to have interesting guests. Welcome again to another episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast, where we encourage people to laugh every day, to work hard, work hard in recovery, work hard in your relationships, work hard in your job or in school, and to love unconditionally. Just put more love out there in the world and let more love come to you. Remember, recovery is beautiful. Your EQ is your IQ and you cannot outthink an emotional issue. What we encourage people to do is to join the Facebook group Recovery Freedom Circle. It's a community just about talking about the steps, talking about recovery, healing, growth, something inspirational, motivational, something you're struggling with. Just let the community help all of us. Just live a better life. Well, today's a treat here in Orlando, florida. Welcome, anthony. How are you feeling today?

Speaker 2: 1:15

Well, thank you for having me, hugo. I'm super excited being here on your podcast, getting to share my experience making help and you know, I'm just I woke up this morning, so I feel good, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:26

Well, tell the audience one thing you love.

Speaker 2: 1:29

I love to be honest with you, Hugo. I love linear thinking. You know, since I've got clean, I'm able to articulate sentences, I'm able to be able to pretty much remember what I said yesterday. So I love that more than anything Pretty much remember what I said yesterday.

Speaker 1: 1:46

So I'd love that more than anything is the way my mind is right now Excellent. Well, I always like to just jump into the questions. Question number one you lived on the streets, homeless 23 years Now. You've been in recovery over 25 years Now. Everybody talks about mental health, but really help the audience understand the difference of how it affects your mental health being on the streets compared to now living in recovery.

Speaker 2: 2:16

Okay, that's a good question. I think the biggest difference or the biggest contrast that I have is on the streets. I'm in survival mode, in recovery, I'm in survival mode, in recovery, I'm in living mode, and the huge difference is I always have to keep my guard up. When I lived on the streets, I mean being out there, homeless, for 23 years. It's a vicious cycle.

Speaker 1: 2:35

I mean.

Speaker 2: 2:36

I was homeless because drinking and doing drugs and things of that nature and ineffective coping skills, and then I get recovery and I'm taught these coping skills so I'm able to face life on life terms, and so the best part about that is the fact that I don't have to struggle, I don't have to fight, I can surrender to win, and I think that's the beauty of being on this recovery track.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Yeah, and you can tell. So you actually started, though, in your teenage years.

Speaker 2: 3:01

Yes.

Speaker 1: 3:02

When you left Ohio and you ended up in California.

Speaker 2: 3:05

Yes, I sure did. I always tell people, because I can laugh at myself now.

Speaker 1: 3:09

That's good.

Speaker 2: 3:11

I went to a party at 14 and I came home at 37. And that was the last I know. The party was over. I ran away from home at the age of 14. And because of you know circumstances that was occurring in my house back then, and you know I started drinking and using earlier than that, and so that was my survival mode, just being out there. And then, at the age of 37, a police officer, who continued to arrest me, actually asked me if I wanted some help.

Speaker 2: 3:40

Now, this is the first time in 23 years. Somebody even said you know, do you want some help? Because I didn't think I had a problem. You know, denial was deep, even though I haven't bathed in a couple years and you know, haven't eaten properly in a long time. You know I didn't think I had a problem. So that police officer asked me if I wanted some help and you know, I guess that moment of clarity was happening at the same time, at that moment of opportunity, and so I said yes, and he had a friend that had a treatment program. So they scholarship me at that point.

Speaker 1: 4:11

Excellent, yeah, because part of your story this jumps into question. Number two is is obviously you started drinking alcohol. You started doing other drugs whether it was injecting drugs, smoking drugs. Meth is your last big main drug and then you were able to get to rehab. Like you mentioned that this police officer in Orange County, California, helped you get into rehab, Talk about what finally clicked in rehab, because we always see the statistics with some type of treatment center where people go to 6.2 treatment centers before they finally get it.

Speaker 2: 4:55

What what clicked for you, look happy. You know people were clean and you know they would tell me stuff like we're gonna love you till you love yourself, like what? What is that all about? You know? I remember, um, my friend came up to me and said, here, are you hungry? She gave me. She gave me 25 cheeseburgers. You know, she gave me a coin chain, a coin purse, purse full of quarters. And it's like people were nice and they were consistent. It wasn't like it was nice now what? Like people were nice and they were consistent, it wasn't like it was nice. Now, what am I going to get from you? They were just nice generally, and so that was my turning point. It's like, well, what's going on here? You know what is that all about and why? And slowly I got introduced to the anonymous program and next thing, you know, I started following the steps and my life just got good.

Speaker 1: 6:00

But that must be difficult, especially if you started off at 14 to trust someone Because, like you said, you know the streets is about survival and so everyone's always looking out for themselves. So you must have, almost like you were joyful that someone's willing to help, but you maybe were you a little bit cautious, a little bit distrusting. It's like no one can be this nice because someone's out to probably take advantage of me. They're just trying to let me to lower my guard and then I can swoop in. How is the? How was the? It sounds like you were able to trust relatively quickly, but that's not always the case. Talk about trust for a second.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Well, it wasn't instantaneous. First of all, I felt like a stranger in a strange land, and when people were nice, of course, I thought well, what do you want from me, what are you going to do to me, things of that nature, and I had my guard up. But the longer I stayed there, the longer I stayed in that environment, I've seen people that were just genuinely nice. I mean, they were consistent. That's the whole thing. It wasn't, you know, one day one person's nice and then the next day somebody's mean. No, the entire environment was really warm and in the beginning my thing was like well, what do you want from me? My guard was up.

Speaker 2: 7:25

I was extremely defensive. I mean, I had anger issues, and so when someone would come up and want to hug me, I was like hold on, wait a minute.

Speaker 2: 7:36

Don't touch me. And then that's when they said okay, well, we're still going to be nice to you, we're still going to give you food, we still want you to come hang out with us. And when I first went to that treatment center, it was really interesting because it was an apartment complex and they put me in an apartment by myself. And I learned later the reason why they put me in an apartment by myself because I had so much anger within me, I was volatile and I guess they didn't want to take the risk of putting other patients in harm's way, but they still didn't kick me out the treatment center.

Speaker 2: 8:05

I mean, I had a foul mouth, I mean all kinds of stuff, and they still accepted me for who I was. And so eventually, after a while, I got to the point where it's like these people are real.

Speaker 1: 8:16

So they finally won you over.

Speaker 2: 8:17

They finally won me over and they told me stuff like if you're going to leave this place, don't jump over the fence, just walk out the gate. I'm like you really trust me. They're like yeah, and I'm like and so that consistency and that continuity is what attracted me.

Speaker 1: 8:35

Here's the one kind of question I always tell people, because a lot of people say I don't trust others. I always say well, it really begins with oneself. Is that me as an addict? I didn't trust myself, but I always wanted to project it on others. Was that also part of your story? Is that you didn't truly trust yourself? Yes, and that kind of created some of the walls and some of the friction. You may have thought that someone I can't trust another person if I can't truly trust myself.

Speaker 2: 9:02

I was really fascinated because in the beginning or all along always knew something wasn't right, but I didn't know what was wrong.

Speaker 1: 9:25

And so when it came to I, thought I didn't trust other people.

Speaker 2: 9:27

but later on in the process, as I started getting into recovery and start uncovering, discovering, discarding things, then I learned, when the work begun, I started looking at okay, what is it in you that's causing you to feel this way, or what is it in you that's causing you to push people away? You know, because people, most often they defended themselves against me and I didn't know it. I thought it was the other way around.

Speaker 1: 9:51

Okay, let's jump into question number three. Okay, now you grew up in Ohio. Now you're back in Ohio. You work in a mental hospital. Talk about either what actually resources mental hospitals can provide different patients, as well as what are the biggest struggles of people that are in a mental hospital.

Speaker 2: 10:20

One of the things I've discovered. I've been sober for 25 years. I've been working in mental health for 20 years and it's really fascinating because there are a lot of resources there, but the resources are designed to work there, but what happens once people leave there?

Speaker 1: 10:41

Correct.

Speaker 2: 10:41

And therein, I feel, lies the problem, because there's not really that much continuity of care.

Speaker 2: 10:47

We can say, okay, we got you stabilized, you know, go to this other place that we have for you, and that leaves that little window of opportunity.

Speaker 2: 10:58

And I find that because I worked substance abuse for a long time too. And when you have the combination of dual diagnosis people that have mental health issues and substance use issues there lies another problem, because one school of thought from the mental health aspect is let us get you on some medication, we don't care if you drink some beer, as long as you take your medications. And then you go to the substance abuse side. This is complete abstinence of everything, including all medications, and you don't do that for a person that has a physiological illness, which mental health is. And so when you're dealing with those obstacles, I think proper education to these different sources or being able to find somebody or some resources that can pair up both treatments is what we lack out there, and so I encourage people that, no matter where you come from or any healthcare providers, let's create a system so that we can have the combination care as well as a continuity of care to help those individuals.

Speaker 1: 11:58

Yeah, and you also mentioned the thing that sometimes people struggle with because society almost looks down on certain words saying I'm a patient in a mental hospital create some type of stigma and almost a way to almost go against either medication or instruction. That can be very helpful, because everybody wants to feel like they're in control but they don't have any of the negative stigma. What do you feel could help this stigma that's out there around the word mental hospital? Or just trying to get people to accept the fact that mental hospital just means that you are receiving help and you are getting better?

Speaker 2: 12:48

Right, and there is a big stigma around mental illness and the sad part is and I see it whenever A really consequential event occurs, the very first thing somebody wants to do is throw a label on and go well, that person has a mental problem, and that reinforces the stigma. Then the individual who's getting help for their illness they don't want to be labeled as that mentally ill person, mentally ill person. And once they walk away with that stigma, then they feel that, well, if I'm going to be accepted, how can I get rid of that label? That means I quit taking my medication. They don't want to tell people well, I have one day's supply of medication left. Help me, because I have a mental health problem. Because they're in fear of that stigma that comes with it.

Speaker 2: 13:38

So I encourage people to see if we can grab some sort of other language to be able to, if anything, apply to the people that we treat. Maybe a person has an unresolved psychological disorder, Maybe someone might have a neurochemical imbalance Anything other than just flatly saying somebody has a mental illness. I think, and I do believe, that there's nobody perfect in this world. So let's look at people as just having an illness instead of a mental illness. Maybe we can help get rid of that stigma and people will be more apt to come care and receive help.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Yeah, because, look, we all have a certain amount of mental issues.

Speaker 1: 14:17

We all have a certain amount of things that we struggle with either emotionally or mentally, and once I was able to almost accept those words that you know, I'm grateful that I was a compulsive gambler.

Speaker 1: 14:30

I was grateful I was an alcoholic, because it allowed me to finally discover myself. One of the things that I hear you trying to also say is for the general population to stop judging other people, like whether it's a substance abuse, whether it's a behavioral addiction, addiction in general, or if they have some type of mental issues such as bipolar, whether it's narcissism, ocd, whatever the issue may be that that compounds the problem, because there are people that are just strict addicts and there are other people that have that combination a mental issue plus addiction, which creates just a difference in how to deal and how to get care, just a difference in how to deal and how to get care. So let's finish up Any last words that you would like to impart on the audience, just about either addictions, as well as any type of mental issues or mental hospitals that you would hope that people receive from you, since you have so much experience.

Speaker 2: 15:42

I believe that nobody's perfect. I believe that we're all capable of growing, learning, advancing, progressing in life. Be more of an advocate and an uplifter instead of someone who's quick to say no, this individual cannot do this because of this certain disability. Give everybody the same chance you would want somebody to give you. That's what I believe. We can make a difference. We can change the way things are going on out there in society, but it takes every one of us individual to come together to make a group effort.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Excellent. I appreciate your time today, anthony, and it's a pleasure meeting you, as well as getting that message out about living on the streets, about substance abuse, about mental hospitals, about mental issues, and just being able to share with the 1% in Recovery podcast audience. So, like I tell people, so everyone can just live the life that they truly dream of and aspire to and that they deserve. With that we are going to end this episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast. Thank you.