Part I: How to Stop Gambling, Build Oxytocin, Identify Loneliness

Ever wondered why loneliness feels so devastating during recovery? There's powerful science behind it. Oxytocin—the bonding hormone—might be the missing piece in your recovery journey.

Recovery isn't just about stopping addictive behaviors; it's about rebuilding the connections addiction destroyed. When we isolate, we become vulnerable to gambling, substances, or any behavior that temporarily fills the void. This episode dives deep into how oxytocin naturally combats addiction by helping us "get outside ourselves" and away from ego-centered thinking. The beauty lies in how accessible this healing hormone is through everyday interactions.

A genuine 20-second hug triggers oxytocin release—not those half-hearted, one-armed "greeting" hugs, but full, intentional embraces where both people are present. This explains why in-person meetings provide such powerful support: they create environments where authentic connection happens naturally. Additional oxytocin boosters include extended kissing with a partner, holding hands, making love and petting animals, especially dogs and cats. Our pets often provide consistent, judgment-free oxytocin, explaining the powerful bond many develop with companion animals during recovery.

Community involvement—volunteering, religious services, or group activities—creates meaningful connections that build ongoing support networks. When you develop relationships with people you regularly text, call, and see in person, returning to addictive behaviors becomes dramatically less likely. The loneliness driving addiction simply cannot coexist with rich connections that create meaning in our lives. Ready to transform your recovery? Start with a hug.

Chapters

• 0:01 Introducing Recovery Fundamentals
• 0:41 Join the Recovery Freedom Circle
• 1:33 Oxytocin and Addiction Recovery
• 3:21 Ways to Boost Oxytocin Naturally
• 7:54 Escaping Loneliness Through Connection

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

How to stop gambling. We talked about this in last week's episode and we're going to dive deeper in these next four weeks. Welcome again to another episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day. Work hard, work hard in recovery, work hard in your relationships, work hard in your job, your business and school. Just work and to love unconditionally. Remember recovery is beautiful. You cannot outthink an emotional issue and your EQ is your IQ.

Speaker 1: 0:41

Now I keep telling people tap into the community Recovery Freedom Circle in Facebook groups. The link is down below. There you can talk about the steps, your experience or, if you have questions about the steps whether they're the original steps or the 12 steps, explain the 12 steps. Explain the way that we here at Life is Wonderful, is pushing to get a better understanding of who you are. Also, just if you have something motivational, inspirational or some type of question you may be dealing with in relationships or something else that you may want to get some feedback on, or to just share share something that you've accomplished, a goal, a dream, so just join Recovery Freedom Circle in the Facebook group.

Speaker 1: 1:33

Now let's jump into this week's episode. We're going to be talking about oxytocin. We're going to be talking about bonding, because what is so critical in recovery is the four things that I talked about is how to stop gambling. You stop gambling by dealing in any other addiction. Really, how to stop addiction and how to stop addiction is that you address the emotional disease, state your feelings. You also talk about the spiritual disconnect. That is number two and number three. You start working on your subconscious, but what's also super important is your relationships, your connection, because addiction isolates you, makes you lonely. Loneliness is the biggest killer out there and that is why it kills and keeps addicts away. They just don't know how to reenter society, reenter their families, establish friendships, real, intimate, close friendships and the way to do that is by getting and infusing your body with that natural hormone, oxytocin. And the reason why oxytocin is so vital is because it makes us get outside of ourselves. We are no longer so much into our own ego, and that is the key to getting through to addicts, and so you no longer have to do your addiction because you just love life, you love people, you love yourself, you love your higher power, God. You're just so connected. Now, how do we get oxytocin? See, that is why 12-step meetings work so well.

Speaker 1: 3:26

There's a number of ways to get oxytocin and they do two of them. Number one, which is the most important anybody can do this, is hug. They talk about a 20-second hug, especially with your lover, your partner, your spouse, someone that you truly connect with. If you can have a real hug, you know both arms around each other and just feel connected. Not one of those what we call half-ass hugs Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers described it beautifully. Not that type of hug where you put just like one arm around a person and you got your ass out and you are technically just placating each other, telling people we hugged when you did not hug, you might as well have just waved. But a real hug, hugging and that's what you get.

Speaker 1: 4:23

At meetings you hug people. Once you've been going to meetings for a while, people get to know you. They just say hello and, as addicts, as people that are into recovery, just realizes how important a good hug is. And also another part of that is socialization. That's why meetings are so important. Live meetings, because you socialize. That's why virtual meetings obviously if you can't get to something, it's better than nothing. But live meetings is that true socialization? That's why virtual meetings, obviously, if you can't get to something, it's better than nothing. But live meetings is that true socialization? That's why people love going to meeting up with groups, whether it's your school, your alma mater, whether it's a reunion, whether it's a wedding, even at funerals, there's that socialization, there's always this connection, and so that is so key to get that oxytocin, and so that is so key to get that oxytocin.

Speaker 1: 5:08

The other key way is talking about any type of lover, partner, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend is a kiss, and a kiss if you have just like lips pressed upon each other at least six seconds. Obviously, if you're making out, that can probably last more than six seconds anyway. Kissing is so vital because you connect to the other person so he realizes that you can have such a deep, intimate relationship and bond just by hugging and kissing. Yeah, of course we want sex and we'll get to sex here in a second, but those things are so important. Kissing is so vital. Other ways is holding hands, and that can be obviously with a child, with a parent, with a friend. There's a lot of ways. And obviously guys unless you're in maybe some other parts of the world, but here in America, two guys holding hands people will think you're gay and that usually doesn't happen. But two guys that are friends, that have known each other hugging, we can hug each other for at least five seconds and just almost be there and there's like almost those playful taps, like playful punches on the shoulder. That's all that kind of touching where you get to feel you get that oxytocin.

Speaker 1: 6:26

And the other, obviously, most way to get oxytocin is to make love with your partner, your lover, Right, having sex. And that's why sex is so important in any type of loving relationship. Hopefully you have it. To me I would say, at least I say three times a month. Hopefully it's about at least somewhere between three and seven, which would be. I think you'd get a lot of health benefits from that. It lowers your anxiety and you're not depressed. There's so many benefits when you climax.

Speaker 1: 7:04

And the other part of it is that skin-to-skin contact. That's oxytocin. We're just laying in bed. And obviously for mothers you know childbirth, lactation that's also a way to connect. And why do we love our dogs so much? Because dogs are such an easy way to get oxytocin petting your dog, walking your dog, being with your dog, and cats too, If you know how to have cats see, I have cats and dogs Moose, panther and creed. Creed's the dog. Moose is the male cat, Panther is the female cat, Moose is the male cat, Panther is the female cat. And if my female cats lay up on me, get on top of me and petting them and just being so close, that is another way to get oxytocin, Just more simple ways.

Speaker 1: 7:55

We talked about socialization, but that's also why community service if you meet up with a group and you're helping, let's say, Habit of Humanity, where you help building a house, or you're doing some type of other community service, or you're doing some type of painting, you're collecting food, you're at a food bank, you're passing out food, you're connecting and then, of course, just attending religious services. Because you're a part of that community, You're socializing with people with the same faith. All of that is a way. So I encourage you stop, Get out of this loneliness.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Loneliness is the biggest killer. Once you start connecting and you start having the Rolodex and every day you're texting someone, you're calling someone, you're seeing someone, there's no way you're ever going to go back to the drink, the drug, the bet, seeing someone. There's no way you're ever going to go back to the drink, the drug, the bet, inappropriate sex, just zoning out in video games or mindless shopping. You will really connect with others, and so I encourage you, get out there, connect with others, and the number one way is hug, Just hug more people. Just hug, hug, hug. With that. Life is wonderful. And we're going to conclude this episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast.