New Jersey Alcoholic Ron R, 32 Years, Goes from Rock Bottom to Leadership and Recovery

From rock bottom to keynote speaker, Ron's remarkable 32-year sobriety journey reveals the transformative power of recovery when proper foundations are laid. After treatment at Carrier Foundation, Ron followed crucial advice that changed everything: attending a meeting his very first day out and never leaving without knowing when his next meeting would be.

The magic of recovery lies not just in the program but in human connection. When Ron nervously attended his first meeting, he wasn't bombarded with recovery talk—instead, a member named Jimmy simply chatted with him about the New York Rangers. This moment of normalcy became a lifeline, creating a sense of belonging that's still strong decades later. Through small steps like coffee commitments and gradually sharing his experience, Ron rebuilt his shattered self-esteem, transforming from someone who "couldn't hold a job" into a successful leadership trainer running his own company for over 20 years.

What makes Ron's story so powerful is how recovery delivered on its promises. Dreams that seemed impossible during active addiction became beautiful realities—becoming a leadership trainer after admiring his ex-wife's career from the sidelines, enjoying 30 seasons as a Giants ticket holder, and experiencing the majesty of an African sunset with his wife. Standing on stage as a keynote speaker, Ron had a profound realization: none of these achievements would have happened without sobriety. His journey reminds us that recovery isn't just about stopping destructive behaviors—it's about creating a life so rich with meaning that returning to addiction loses all appeal. As Ron said while watching an African sunset with his wife: "It doesn't get better than this."

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Recovery Podcast
• 1:25 Treatment and First 48 Hours
• 11:00 Leadership in Recovery
• 17:55 Dreams Fulfilled Through Sobriety
• 22:52 Finding Joy in Recovery

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome today, coming from the Jersey Shore, all the way from one of my hometowns. Today's going to be a good conversation. Welcome to another episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day, to work hard to laugh every day, to work hard, work hard in recovery, work hard in your relationships, work hard in your jobs or your business or in school. Just work and to love unconditionally. Put more love out there and let more love return to you. Remember, recovery is beautiful. You cannot outthink an emotional issue and your EQ is your IQ. Now we encourage people to join the Facebook group Recovery Freedom Circle. It's a community where people can talk about recovery, the steps, something that they want to achieve, a dream, a goal, something big. Maybe it's also something that you're struggling with, something that you want other people's input on. It's all about recovery. It's all about living our best life. Now let's just jump on in, ron. How are you feeling today?

Speaker 2: 1:22

Oh, hugo, I am fine. Thank you, it's good to be alive. And let me tell you something it is good to be sober, it is.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Well, let's jump in Tell the audience.

Speaker 2: 1:39

One thing you love, hugo. I have been a Looney Tune New York Giant football fan ever since I have been a little boy and as we get into the podcast, I'm going to do the best I can to tie that into my recovery, because it's been one of the most fun things that I have been able to do over all the years that I have been sober. So, yeah, I'll talk more about that as we get into it.

Speaker 1: 2:09

Yeah, and over these years, since I've been alive, these 58 years there's been. I remember the seventies were horrible to be a giant fan, and then the eighties you got a couple of titles and then, of course, the famous ones against the Pats in the 2000s. I mean you had some good runs, some actually good seasons, even the ones that you didn't think you were going to win.

Speaker 2: 2:31

That's right, that's exactly right.

Speaker 1: 2:34

All right, let's jump into the questions. The first question Now you were someone who had a drinking problem. Someone who had a drinking problem. Your family was able to get you into a treatment center there in New Jersey.

Speaker 1: 2:51

And when you answer the question, tell us the treatment center that you went to, but also not only so much about the treatment, but really that piece that comes so critical afterwards. Everybody does so well for whether they're in there 21 days, 28, 30, 45 days, and then they get out and it's like uh-oh, now they're like thrown into the, not only the deep end in the pool, they're like in the ocean. That's right. And you know everyone says you got to have a plan once you leave treatment so you stay sober and you continue this road of recovery. Talk to us what your treatment center did to stress the importance of what are you going to do that first day, that first almost 48 hours, and then talk to us, tell us the you know what happened, I guess, with your first group, I think, which I believe it became your home group and which really just started you on this, on this journey of what we have.

Speaker 1: 3:52

You said 27 years.

Speaker 2: 3:54

No, actually it's 32. I'm sorry, no big deal. So now you're over 30.

Speaker 1: 4:01

So 32 years. So tell us about that importance.

Speaker 2: 4:07

You know, that is one of the things I do remember. First of all, it was the Carrier Foundation here in Bedminster no, no, no, no. In Belle Meade, new Jersey. And Hugo, the one thing that I do remember so clearly every single day being pounded into us go, you've got to go to a meeting. When you get out the first day, with the day you get out, you've got to go to a meeting, you've got to go to a meeting. And the other thing that they also did for us and this was so many years ago there was no internet, internet or anything like that as each person and I'll speak for myself here as I got closer to being released, they gave me a meeting book and they just said go through the meeting book and start highlighting the meetings that you think you want to go to. It's a plan for you. So this way you're not going in blind, as it were, and I'll tell you. I do want to tell you, cause this was really significant for me.

Speaker 2: 5:13

On the day I got out, I was living with my mom and dad, and so they had come to pick me up. I had said goodbye to everybody and I was ready to walk out the door and my counselor, lucene, said to me Ron, wait, before you go, I need to tell you something. And I was like, ok, ron, you are either a candidate for very, very good, very long term sobriety, because in the 28 days you've been here you have said and done all the right things. And I'm smiling and I was like, wow, that's nice, that's really cool, or you are the best bullshitter I have ever seen in my entire life. And I remember having the conscious thought I don't know which one it is, I'm not sure which one it is.

Speaker 2: 6:08

I ended up going to the 5.30 meeting. This was a Friday in Florham Park. It was a discussion meeting and one of the things I'll never forget, you know. They also said to us go early, talk to people, stay late, and all these other things. I walked in there. I was nervous, I was scared. This guy, jimmy, comes up to me. Hi, I don't recognize you. Are you new? My name is Jimmy. Hi, jimmy, I'm Ron and, yes, I'm new.

Speaker 2: 6:40

We started talking about the New York Rangers. Now, I'm a diehard, diehard, giant fan. I love the Rangers too, and my point is just instantly I was like, wow, this guy's normal, this guy's okay. You know, I'm not getting AA shoved down my throat the instant I walked in, and that was so significant for me. And after all these years, jimmy is still around. I still see him every single Saturday at 1030 in Florham Park where I go, and we still talk about that. So that was incredibly important for me. The other big big thing for me and I remember this too Another big big thing for me, and I remember this too they all you know, go to a meeting on your first day. Fine, never, ever, ever leave a meeting without knowing when your next meeting is and where it is. And that was important to me too, and I still do that now.

Speaker 1: 7:44

Yeah, I think that's so important because I think people realize how delicate and thin that line is, whether you can just start catapulting your way to this new life or you just get easy back into the old bad habits. Or around people that in their heads are just trying to be friendly, like hey, let's go grab a drink, or you know, they kind of encourage you to get back into the old behavior where you don't know you're trying to find out who you truly are, and I think that's the important thing. And I also like the fact like you know, jimmy was talking about the Rangers, he wasn't talking program. I hate when people start telling people it's people like you have to start, you have to buy a big book or you got to understand that.

Speaker 1: 8:34

you know. You know if you don't come to meetings you're going to probably end up in a prison, insanity or death or it's like why are we? Why are you trying to berate someone? And you wonder why a lot of people don't come back to their second meeting? Is because you just sound like you know when people say, well, 12-steppers sound like cults and they can.

Speaker 2: 8:56

Yes.

Speaker 1: 8:57

If they're not careful in the beginning, it's just like. All you need to do is they're not going to remember anything, right?

Speaker 2: 9:03

You just got to get them.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Just get them. Like you said, get them to your second meeting. And then if you went back out? You went back out, but you were kind of getting into that. It's just like everything. You just have to just build a little bit. You're not going to run a marathon with just walking around the neighborhood one day and then all of a sudden you're ready for 26.2 miles. You're going to have to build it up, just like everything.

Speaker 2: 9:49

That's right and and and that. That again for me at least. I love the slogans and I try to live by the slogans too. That's the day at a time. I mean it really really is. How do you accumulate 32 years? You don't drink one day at a time and all of a sudden it's like, oh, wow, and what was significant? And I haven't thought of this in a while. When I had 90 days, I celebrated. My sponsor, chris, gave me my coin and again, it's what an exciting time. My parents were there and everything else. Chris comes up to me after the meeting. He goes what know, it's what an exciting time, my parents were there and everything else. Chris comes up to me after the meeting. He goes what's the next big achievement? And I was like I don't know Chris. A year, no. Well, six months, no. And he realized I wasn't going to get it. He goes Ron, the next big thing, day 91. And I was like, oh okay, I got it. Each day is a big achievement. Makes sense to me it is.

Speaker 1: 10:59

All right, let's jump into question two. You run a leadership training company and you've had for over 20 years Now. Talk of the importance of you know leadership, because I talk especially about men. You know we're trying to build you know men into leaders. And, of course, you know when you're an alcoholic, you're an addict, you're a gambler, you're just to total, you know, into an addiction. You're not able to even lead yourself and you know the 12 steps.

Speaker 1: 11:31

I believe is so good, because so many people come in with low self-esteem and you know no one. You know they've got their whole family and friends, or even companies. I don't trust you. You're going to F something up, you're going to do something wrong, and then they're saying, hey, why don't you chair a meeting? Why don't you become a secretary? Why don't you become something like with Intergroup? They encourage you to take on these leadership roles and how important is that, in your opinion, for people early on, when they have? Depends on what it is three months, six months, one year. Talk to us how that helps. And then that translates to their career as well as to their home life. You know when you're trying to lead a family.

Speaker 2: 12:19

I think it's a critical piece for a lot of different reasons. I mean, early on. For me, again, it was the same thing what they drilled into us at Carrier, what you're talking about here, hugo get a coffee commitment, get there early, set the chairs up, take the chairs down reason I used to like to get there early. I got a coffee commitment early on. And, number one, it gave me structure. There was an expectation there for me you have to be here at least an hour before the meeting starts. And then, equally as important, it started to give me the opportunity to talk to people, to get to know people. Just outside of the meeting itself. There were times, and again, with what we started with, just talking about whatever, talking about the Rangers, talking about music, talking about whatever there were times, no doubt at all either, and this is important the program itself too, just talking about, maybe the steps or you know, whatever it might be, in a more informal setting too. And as I started to do that, I started to realize it was like, okay, okay, I can contribute, I am making a difference. And, hugo, I mean I can only speak for myself. I mean you said it out loud, though I had just zero self-esteem when I started, just none. It's like I can't hold a job, I can't. You know I'm divorced and you know just all of these horrible stuff going on and all these things and people starting to. You know, hey, ron, you look good. Hey, ron, you sound good. And you know I was one. And this is me, please, this is me.

Speaker 2: 14:24

Early on, my first sponsor did say to me I don't think you should share much at all, at least not in the beginning. You don't have much to offer. Really. All you're going to talk about is how to get drunk. We're the ones who know how to get sober. You need to listen first, and that did make sense to me and I learned how to listen, which is a critical piece for any leader to have. And as I started to share some realizing, you know, I still remember one of the first times somebody said wow, you know, after I shared something, I really relate with what Ron just said. And I remember sitting up and I was like, wow, wow, that's really cool. Maybe I do have something to offer here and again, just so, so important.

Speaker 2: 15:18

And as the time passed and I accumulated more years, I still love getting to meetings early. I love talking to anybody who's there, and especially the newcomers. I mean, hugo, I went to a meeting right before we came on the air and this guy walked in. I didn't recognize him and I was like, hi, my name is Ron, are you new? Him? And I was like, hi, my name is Ron, are you new? And he said, yeah, my name is Devin and I have three days. And I was like, oh my God, devin, we're so glad to have you here and again. Just the opportunity to talk to him to let him know number one, he's in a safe place. And as other people started coming into, devin, devin, do you realize how wonderful it is, how cool it is? Look what you've accomplished You've gone three days without drinking. That's amazing and it really really is when you think about it. At least for me, I couldn't go three days. So I hope that's answering your question.

Speaker 1: 16:29

Yeah, no, you do Exactly. I mean, you know in the beginning, you know it just takes. Those little things are so important, the little bit of encouragement or the, you know, giving people certain little roles to do things. And I think people don't realize, when you are secretary, all those other things, it forces you to meet more people, talk to the newcomers, talk to the old timers, do certain tasks, make sure the room's set up literature, whatever needs to be done. And you know you start then. And then to me, is you start to understand that's right. You know the program better. You understand how meetings are run or should be run. You understand how it's not easy. You got to stay on task. You know pick something. You know there's a lot of little things, but all those things depend on you know you just got to jump in.

Speaker 1: 17:24

A lot of people have a lot of dreams when they're growing up, whether they're drinking, not drinking, but especially when we're in our addictions, we keep saying someday I'm going to do this, I'm going to travel here, I'm going to buy this car, I'm going to do all these wonderful things. And they never have the time, the money, the energy, whatever it is. Tell us something that you dreamed about before you actually found recovery and that you actually were finally able to do. I'll give you just and I talked to you like one of the things I kept saying I'm going to run a marathon one day. And when you're drinking and gambling, you never quite have the time or the energy. There's always something that derails because you have to stay on schedule for about four months. To me, like they say people who try to run a marathon in two weeks or a month, it's a disservice. It's like you've got to put in more miles, you've got to do the training. But that's something that I did. Tell us, something that you were able to achieve.

Speaker 2: 18:33

I'm going to go back to my ex-wife. My ex-wife, kathy, worked in training and development, leadership development and whenever she was telling me about what she liked to do, most of the time I was half drunk or fully loaded, no matter what, and I always thought to myself I would be good at that, I'd love to do that, I would be good at that. Our marriage fell apart and six months after getting sober I ended up getting a job with Toshiba doing sales training. Things evolved, things evolved, things evolved. I had been doing training and development, leadership development, for the last 32 years and it is unbelievable to me. And I remember the first time I could say it to people when I was doing it, when I was facilitating a class or whatever, and saying, guys, I'm good at this, I'm confident about this, and for me to be able to say that out loud was incredible, just absolutely incredible. To go from no self-esteem, this is something I would love to be able to do, and doing it now. You have to be kidding me. I mean about I don't know.

Speaker 2: 20:01

Three years ago now, whatever it was I was invited to be a keynote speaker for a company they were having a big, big sales meeting out in Phoenix and keynote speaker. I'm on the stage and I had given them an assignment to do. It was going to take them about five, six minutes. Whatever, I'm standing on the stage. I was up there by myself, I was looking out at them and I just kind of looked up a little bit and just thought to myself oh my God, oh my God, look where I am, look at this, look at what I've accomplished here and I didn't do it alone, and I'm not trying to say look what I've done, all the help that I got throughout the years from all of those meetings, from everybody in the rooms, from the sponsors that I've had and the mentors that I've had over the years. None of this happens, none of it, without being sober. None of this happens, none of it without being sober. None of it Right.

Speaker 1: 21:12

I agree. Congrats on that. That's always a big achievement to get the keynote address at any type of major audience.

Speaker 2: 21:23

You know, I, I, I can, I, can I back up for one second Only? Because, hugo I when, when we mentioned the giants before something else that I dreamed of when I was drinking God, I'd love to be a season ticket holder. God, that would be so much fun. I'd love to be able to do that. My my very, very close late friend sadly Paul, he was my. He was my sponsor for well over 20 years. He was my best friend for many, many years. He was a giant season ticket holder and of course, we used to talk about that all the time. An opening came up within their group. He just came up to me. He goes hey, my friend, how'd you like to be a giant season ticket holder? And I'm looking at him, I'm like you got to be kidding me. And he was like no, no, you can join our group. And this season coming up I can't remember what year it is, I think it's going to be season 30 that I've been a season ticket holder. A dream come true, just an absolute dream come true.

Speaker 1: 22:26

Excellent. I love hearing those stories, you know, because that's really what makes life about, what gives you overwhelming joy, what gives you contentment, so you can look back and say you know, these are the things that I wanted to do or I wanted to accomplish, and then you set out and you did it to do or I wanted to accomplish, and then you set out and you did it.

Speaker 2: 22:57

You know, I I I'll tell you this too and again, just for me and Paul and I used to talk about this a lot it's about the joy of living. My wife and I, in in 2019, spent 16 days in Africa, which was just an amazing, amazing, amazing adventure. We had gone on a river cruise on the Zambezi River. The cruise is coming to an end and we're getting closer to the dock. Lori and I were sitting there, just by, you know, by ourselves. You know there were passengers were about, I was holding her hand, the sun was setting. It was just absolutely, absolutely majestic and I was just like Lori. It doesn't get better than this. It just does not get better than this. I'm here with you. We're in this incredible place. I mean, I didn't say to her I'm sober. It goes without saying and just unbelievable. I mean these are the things. These are the things that I dreamt about, and they're not dreams anymore. They're experiences, they're memories right, that's the beauty.

Speaker 1: 24:19

Well, with that we are going to conclude this episode of the one percent in recovery podcast. Remember life is wonderful.