Houston Black Gambler Marque Talks 12 Steps, Diversity and the New Personality of a Gambler

The landscape of addiction recovery is constantly evolving, particularly as gambling itself transforms in the digital age. What happens when betting moves from the buzzing energy of casinos and racetracks to the silent isolation of smartphone screens? How does this shift impact both the addiction and the recovery process?

Our guest Marque shares his powerful journey through gambling addiction and into sustainable recovery, highlighting the transformative impact of Step 10 in the Twelve Step program. Unlike earlier steps that focus on past behaviors, Step 10 brings accountability into the present moment through daily self-examination. "This gives me the opportunity to right my ship today, tomorrow, every day," Marque explains, revealing how this continuous practice creates a foundation for lasting change. The simple yet profound question—"Did I bring harmony to my world today?"—has revolutionized his approach to recovery and relationships.

We also explore the crucial importance of diversity in recovery spaces. When Marquis first attended Gamblers Anonymous in 1997, he encountered rooms dominated by older white men, creating an initial impression of disconnect despite the shared addiction experience. Today's more diverse recovery communities help newcomers see themselves reflected in the room before they even hear the similarities in experiences. This visual connection can be the difference between someone staying for their first meeting or walking away. The conversation takes a sobering turn as we discuss how modern gambling has evolved into an increasingly isolated activity through digital platforms, making it harder for problem gamblers to find connection and support. As addiction becomes more invisible, reaching those who are suffering requires new approaches.

The heart of recovery remains unchanged despite these evolutions—meaningful human connection breaks through the isolation of addiction. Whether through working the steps with a sponsor, attending meetings, or building friendships within the program, recovery thrives when we include others in our journey. If you're struggling with gambling or any addiction, remember that connection is the antidote to isolation. Reach out, join a meeting, and discover the transformative power of shared experience.

Chapters

• 0:02 Welcome to 1% in Recovery
• 1:44 Step 10: Daily Recovery Practice
• 5:38 Bringing Harmony to Your World
• 9:00 Diversity in Recovery Rooms
• 15:20 Modern Gambling: More Isolated Than Ever

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome. We are back in Houston talking about gambling and recovery. Welcome again to another episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day, to work hard, work hard in recovery, work hard in your relationships, work hard in your job, business, school, just work. Nothing replaces hard work. And to love unconditionally. Put more love out in the universe and watch more love return. Remember recovery is beautiful. Your EQ is your IQ and you cannot outthink an emotional issue. We encourage people to join the Facebook group Recovery Freedom Circle. That is a community where people can talk about recovery, the steps, something that they've accomplished, a goal, a dream or something they may be struggling with and that they want more feedback from. So join the Facebook group. Link is in the show notes. Now let's just jump in Marquis, how are you feeling today?

Speaker 2: 1:14

Well, well, thank you much. Thanks for having me. All right, let's jump into it.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Tell the audience one thing you love.

Speaker 2: 1:21

One thing I love my favorite team sports team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Baseball is my favorite sport, but the Steelers are absolutely my favorite team, are you an Astros fan or a Pirates fan?

Speaker 1: 1:32

Oh, I absolutely love the Astros, okay.

Speaker 2: 1:34

I absolutely love the.

Speaker 1: 1:35

Astros, so you're kind of in there. So at least you're a steel curtain guy and you're a Houston Astros. That's good to know. Let's just jump into the questions. The podcast is about recovery. We're trying to figure out ways again different perspectives on how people can recover. What can propel, because so many people may come to their first meeting, come to a few meetings, may even start the steps, come to their first meeting, come to a few meetings, may even start the steps. Step question number one is there a specific step that you really feel that really kind of helped either propel your recovery or that's really vital for people to really kind of understand recovery or embrace recovery?

Speaker 2: 2:21

Okay, Well, there's quite a few of them. Recovery or embrace recovery Okay, well, there's quite a few of them. But for me personally, I'd like to say that step 10 is a step as to where, once you get over the hurdle of, okay, I'm going to have to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to do that, I'm going to be forced to look at myself. This step gives me the opportunity to continue on that path of things that were already so tough for me to look at. So if looking at myself, looking at when I have made mistakes, was vital, now I'm looking on a daily basis of, hey, my behavior on a daily basis. You know, when I make mistakes or when things happen, I move on from them and I go on. I can look at them and move on.

Speaker 2: 3:09

You know, for so long I did not look at my past or what I've done, or I knew about it, but I just ignored it or wanted to wash it under the bridge or not talk about it. You know, now the perspective was hey, look, I'm going to look at it, I'm going to face it. But now, going through the steps, I can face it and kind of have it go away. But now, if I am doing step 10, I'm doing it correctly, on a daily basis. Now I'm forced to look at that on a daily basis, not just over the past however many days or years of my lifetime while I was exhibiting poor behavior.

Speaker 2: 3:50

This gives me the opportunity to right my ship today, tomorrow, every day, you know, versus oh, I'm just going to do it for you know, just one time for what has happened and kind of go past it. For what has happened and kind of go past it. No, this is a lifetime thing and this absolutely for me. I think step 10 is the biggest step for me personally. For everyone else it could be different, but for me, working step 10 and being able to do this on a daily basis absolutely makes a big difference.

Speaker 1: 4:21

And the one thing that I do like about the way 12-step rooms and once really, when you look at the way the gamblers wrote kind of expanded on the steps is when you read the step work unlike the other programs the gamblers actually put in those statements did I bring harmony to my world today? How did I contribute, you know, to the world moving forward? So it's not to me. I like how gamblers are encouraged to really almost like to me.

Speaker 1: 4:56

I like to start my day thinking how can I bring harmony to my world or to the world today, you know, and then you know, like when the day ends can be different. Talk to us, tell me how to me that is to me, is so vital because it kind of helped change some of my thinking, because I never like to say I'm sorry, I don't like to apologize, so I was trying to think about it. Oh well, if I actually start the day on trying to do good, like they say, do the next right thing bring harmony, uplift yourself and others. Talk to me a little about how that phrase did I bring harmony to my world today, how that kind of helps impact your recovery, your life.

Speaker 2: 5:44

Well, something that you just talked about is something that I do better. This is progress, not perfection, but I like to start my day off with looking at what can I do today, you know, versus just jumping up, getting going and even though I'm not gambling just getting into the grind, grind, grind, grind, grind. If I can actually start my day with okay, I'm going to do this today. Okay, I'm going to get up, I'm going to make some GA phone calls, I'm going to reach out, I'm going to do this with my family, I'm going to reach. I'm going to do that If I can actually start my day with a plan, versus jumping in and my plan. You always generally have a plan for work, but when you have a plan for your life as far as relationships, those actually will make your days better, what I have found, at least.

Speaker 1: 6:36

So yeah, what I have found.

Speaker 2: 6:37

So when I start my day with, hey look, I'm going to drop my kid off at school today versus letting him ride the bus, we'll talk or we'll do this. Well, I'm going to do that. Well, if I actually take some time to think about it. Or start your day off with GA literature, your serenity prayers, your one day at a time, making GA connections, phone calls, early morning meetings, whatever the case may be, but generally, starting off my day with a plan generally helps me to have a better day, and I'm along the same route as well.

Speaker 2: 7:11

I would prefer not to have to make apologies and all of that all day, every day. I'm a lot better about it now. However, if I can make preparations, starting my day off where I'm probably in better spirits spiritually, I'll put myself in a better position where I won't make the types of mistakes that will require me to make, you know, amends or whatever else. So I'm putting myself in a better state mentally. If I start my day with you know I'm going to do this today. You know, put good things in my mind, put good things in.

Speaker 1: 7:43

Later on in the day, I'll get good things out get good things out Right, because, especially as males, one of the things that I think most males truly want is more peace, just peace in their life, especially peace at home, and if you have either a woman in your life or living with them, you try to minimize arguments and you try to do more of the right things. It's a lot more peace at home and life is so much better, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 8:14

Let's jump into question two. Well, just like all 12-step programs usually starts with white males, and that can be off-putting to minorities, to women, because they walk into a room they're already dealing with an emotional issue, with trauma, with addiction, with all the fights and the problems either at home or at work. How hard is it or how much better it is? You know, you came in and it was a bunch of white males. Talk to us about how diversity has really propelled and helped 12-step rooms, especially gambling rooms.

Speaker 2: 8:58

OK, this is the program in general has made tremendous strides in just seeing diversity, and you can you know, along with different types of gambling, of course, which was diversity and you can you know, along with different types of gambling, of course, which was. Let's start here. When I first came to my, my first Gamblers Anonymous experience was in October of 97. So when I walked into the first room there was nothing but white males, generally older. I was a young man at the time, 24, 25-ish, and showed up before the meeting and these guys were having a good time, good conversation or whatnot. There was a ton of fellowship going on, but it seemed as though in my mind that I did not belong there. Of course, once the meeting started and they started reading and talking, it didn't take but five minutes for me to realize that I did belong there. So it had really nothing to do with the faces, race, creed or color, but of course the program did not stick in my mind. The will, the urge to gamble was a lot strong Now for me. I was not willing to do the things that the program listed and of course I fell off and came back a couple of years later. And at that time when I come back. Ok, there's a couple of women here. You know, I'm starting to see some diversity within the program, I'm starting to see a little of this and then, of course, it did not stick. You know, a few years later I came back, 2003 ish and now there's started to be some more people of color. And now, throughout the years hence 20 years later the program exhibits whether you see an in-person meeting or Zoom meetings or whatever else there's a ton of different people, different creeds, races, sexes or whatever else Of people within the program and I think it helps others to see when they walk in, perhaps when they see someone like them.

Speaker 2: 10:45

You know, even before people start talking, I get the sense that I belong. And you know, even before people start talking, I get the sense that I belong. Of course, once people start talking, no matter who they are, the experiences might be a little bit different, but we're all the same and I think you're going to hear that once people start talking. But to actually see diversity in the meetings, before you actually can hear the meetings and know what's going on, means a lot, I think, to the newer gamblers that are coming in. You know they need to see it, you know, I think they know, but they don't really know. And once people start talking, they start to see who's in the meetings or whatnot.

Speaker 2: 11:17

That's why it's important that you actually go to in-person meetings or that, if you happen to be on a Zoom meeting, perhaps you let people see who you are, you know. That way, people can identify with. Oh, there's someone in there that's just like me. There's someone in there that is my age range, my profession, my skin tone, my religion, whatever the case may be. This program offers a lot, but I think, in order to get people into that point, they got to kind of see you know, you know who am I talking to. Is there someone here that I can identify with? And generally, a lot of times, whether it be through maybe some of that experience, maybe some of you know whatever gambling form that I chose or whatever else, you know some the talks in the meeting or whatnot after the meeting or whatnot. That might lead me in the direction of the right sponsor, but I think that it's very important that the newer compulsive gamblers see the diversity that's in this program and nowadays, 2025, it is an awful lot. So we thank the program for that.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Well, also talk of one thing. We talked a little bit how maybe different culture can also play into different cultures, especially asking for help. Can you quickly just address if there's something you'd want to share on how maybe within the either, the, the black culture, just asking for more help might be beneficial?

Speaker 2: 12:46

Well, I think just across the board, you know, I think in general, you know for me, what have I? What have I noticed?

Speaker 1: 12:54

I think, overall.

Speaker 2: 12:56

you know, women reach out further. It's just in there. I don't know if the word is DNA or whatever else. When there's an issue, when they're seeking help, men probably come second. Well, women's first, men are second in that nature.

Speaker 2: 13:08

And I think you know, for persons African-Americans, people of color, you know the way I was taught hey, you just pick yourself up off your bootstrap and you lean on yourself. So, from my own personal experience with gambling and recovery, gambler's Anonymous was the last option. I always thought of hey, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to reach out to the church first, or things of that nature. And then, you know, there's Gamblers Anonymous down there after coming and I realized that this option actually should have been first, you know, but I think for the most part you know a lot of people you know in my own personal, you know African-American race.

Speaker 2: 13:57

You know we look to do it ourselves first or look to do it in another manner, first of hey, a therapist or the church first, but we're going to do it on our own, and then there's gamblers, anonymous or whatnot. So I mean, I you know, it's it's, you know. And again, that's where the coming to a meeting and seeing who's there, seeing that I actually hey, you know I do belong there. There are people there like me. It goes a long way to me making a connection within the program. Once you make that connection now, you do things to stick in the program.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Yeah, I appreciate that. Let's jump into question three, and this is a question that I've been thinking a lot about Compulsive gambling, problem gambling, how it's changed From some of us that were gambling in the 80s and 90s and even in the early 2000s. You were actually calling up a bookie, you were going to the horse track, you were going to casinos. It almost seemed like the gambler was a lot louder, more egotistical, more bombastic Now, because gambling is so available on our phones, from any type. I mean, you can do the lottery on your phone, you can do crypto on your phone.

Speaker 1: 15:13

Obviously, you can do sports betting. You can play all kinds of casino games on your phone. You can do sports betting, you can play all kinds of casino games on your phone. Talk to us. To me that kind of is almost like changing some of the personality of the gambler. And how can we reach? Because to me it's almost like gambling is the most lonely of all addictions and it almost seems like now, with it being phone gambling, that they're even becoming more isolated, more lonely. Do you have any opinions about number one, the type of gambler that we're seeing now, and also how to reach them, or what type of encouragement can we give them?

Speaker 2: 15:52

I think overall, I think the personality of the compulsive gambler has changed a bit. I think for those of us that gambled way back when you had to call the booking, way back when you had to go to the horse track, if you wanted to go in that direction, you had to go actually into a casino. Nowadays you can do it on your phone. So even when I was gambling in the casino or at the horse track, I'm around other people, I'm pretending to be somebody that I'm not. I'm loud, I'm obnoxious or whatnot. I have to physically get up and go talk to someone. I may have been lonely on the inside I don't know if I was a true loner. In a sense, nowadays, if I gamble and I choose to gamble on the phone, which is common the computer and the back room of a convenience store or whatever else, you know the chances of them reaching somebody are very, very. It's less than what it would have been if they're out. And you know I mean I've had the you know others that I have talked to at gambling establishments say hey, look, you know, maybe this isn't for you or whatnot. The chances of that happening online are minimal, you know, because everything's done via an app or it's computerized or whatever else. So I mean there's not much physical or verbal connection with people that can see that you have a problem, that may be willing to talk to you about it or whatnot. I think there's a difference between a loner and lonely. You know, I think for the most part, the compulsive gambler is lonely, but you don't have to be a loner. Now, you know, I think those that are choosing to gamble online nowadays and that's a lot, you know the chances of them being a loner are greater. So the chances of them finding outlets where they could seek help, or help can actually even find them, are less, which probably might lead them to a deeper, faster way to cross the invisible line. And even once they get across that invisible line, the chances of them finding the help that they need. It might be longer than what you know, than what I found. So I think you know, you know that's one of the biggest things that I think people that come in nowadays, versus 20, 25 years ago, I, you know the lonerism a lot more than what I did Overall. Sure, they have the same experiences that I do, the same experiences that we all have. The stories may be different, but I think the way that they find Gamblers Anonymous is a tougher route nowadays than what it used to be.

Speaker 2: 18:43

What can we do more of? I mean, I don't know, perhaps we could put on these gambling sites on your TV screens. Nowadays you pop on the ESPN or horse races on TV or whatever else. There isn't much that's on there that for the compulsive gambler, or maybe because the compulsive gambler doesn't look as hard, but if it's on your billboard or your screen you know it's in fine print. So I don't know what we can do if it has to be more verbal. But I think something should be done more in terms of reaching out so they can reach out, they can find the help that they need. I just don't know if there's enough out there for them to see it.

Speaker 1: 19:26

Yeah, or to me, is also keep encouraging newcomers to go out to coffee, to go grab a meal, to really understand how the fellowship, besides the steps, besides certain other things that need to be done, can move a person from addiction to recovery, from addiction to healing. And I think that, to me, could be a way to keep encouraging people Because, like a lot of us have stated, so much recovery happens outside the meetings, on phone calls, coffee, and yeah, we can kind of look at it that way to really try to just help people just feel more alive. I mean, that's what life's about you want to feel alive, not just struggle just struggle.

Speaker 2: 20:25

Well, absolutely the biggest part of my recovery, I think, comes from including others in the program with me. I tried to do the program on my own. I did not get a sponsor, I did not reach out, I did not use the telephone list, the biggest way your recovery exhibits itself. You know the way it grows, the way it developed quickly, involving others Coming before meetings, staying after meetings, going for coffee. You know doing some one on ones, or you know one with a couple others going to, going to dinners or whatever the case may be. Make friends within the program is what I have learned. So I mean I came here for years and years and just didn't get it. Did not get it. So I was around the program for 13 years or so, on and off, and it just didn't seem to work, probably because I wasn't working it.

Speaker 1: 21:16

There you go. Well, I appreciate it, marquis, and with that we're going to keep encouraging. Remember life is wonderful. So with that we're going to conclude this episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast.