The Essence of Step One - Change

Change starts the moment someone you trust looks you in the eye and says, you can’t keep living this way—and we choose to listen. We take Step One out of the narrow box of “just stop” and turn it into a practical, courageous shift toward honesty, structure, and community. That means pausing the behavior long enough to think clearly, building simple routines that keep you safe, and choosing mentors who guide you past willpower into real momentum.

We unpack, why a 72-hour detox window creates space for truth, how to use an emotional warm-up before deep work, and why a scorecard turns vague intentions into visible progress. We talk about the roots of the 12 steps, how psychology has evolved, and how modern recovery must address trauma, family patterns, and the everyday inputs that quietly drive relapse. Alcohol, gambling, and drugs are obvious hazards, but so are the “normal” poisons—fast food, phone scrolling, and the ads that celebrate escapism. Curating your attention, your circle, and your habits becomes a daily act of self-respect.

You’ll hear a simple blueprint: stop lying, ask for help, write down what you want, and set a schedule that protects your energy. Bring in a recovery coach, a career mentor, a financial guide, and a spiritual advisor to widen your capacity. Use small wins—movement, sleep, clean meals, outreach, uplifting content—to rebuild trust with yourself. If you’ve wasted years in addiction and more time trying to do it alone, this is your moment to rewrite the pattern with clarity and support.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so others can find the show. Then grab the Recovery Growth Scorecard and join the Recovery Freedom Circle to start changing your life today.

Chapters

• 0:02 What Is Step One’s Essence?
• 0:09 Why Step One Matters
• 0:09 Welcome, Laugh, Work, Love
• 0:37 Join the Recovery Community
• 1:11 Starting The Steps Series
• 1:33 Steps As Truth And Freedom
• 2:26 Oxford Roots And Evolving Psychology
• 2:50 Why 12-Step And Mentors Matter
• 3:33 Accepting Help Like A Lifesaver
• 4:46 You Can’t Do This Alone
• 6:25 The Real Aim Of Step One: Change
• 7:21 Pause, Detox, Then Get Honest
• 8:15 Dreams, Goals, And Conditioning
• 9:41 Poison Inputs And Daily Choices
• 10:34 Commit To Change And Clarity
• 12:03 Stop Wasting Time; Build Support
• 12:44 Free Tools And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

What is the essence of step one? Why do step one? Welcome again to another episode of the 1% in recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day. Work hard, work hard in recovery, work hard in your jobs, in your business, in school, work hard in your relationships. Just work. And also to love unconditionally. Just put much more love out there and watch much more love return. Now, what we encourage people to do is to join the Facebook group, Recovery Freedom Circle. It is a community. Community where we talk about the steps, recovery, dreams, goals, things that you have accomplished, things whether it's a step or a goal, things that you are struggling with, and you want other people to have a certain amount of feedback. Join the community where we talk about recovery, we talk about healing, we talk about love, and where we move forward. Link is down below in the show notes. Now, let's get into this week's episode. Step one. We are now going to be entering into a series which I call the essence of the steps. What is actually written about the steps, or why are the steps needed? To me, the steps are the truth, are the freedom, and are the way out so that you could live your best life. We work the steps, we get into recovery because we want to live differently. In the beginning, we struggle, we fight, we're stubborn, we don't do what we need to do for ourselves. But in the end, deep down in our subconscious, in our dream world, we want a certain type of life, and we just don't know how to get there. The steps are the answers. Now, the original 12 steps were partly gotten from the Oxford group, which were from the Bible. People got to realize is that psychology evolved since 1935. And there's a lot more that is known about addiction, about psychology, about family, family of origin, family of choice, trauma, all these things that kind of affect recovery. So things have changed, and that is why I came up with the 12 steps explain, because I find myself as a step scholar, someone who loves the steps, lives the steps, believes in the steps, and see the steps as the way to the type of life that each individual can then build and create so then they can enjoy life, that they can have that peace, they can have that freedom, they can have that unconditional love where they are laughing, where they are working, and they are moving forward. The problem is when people first walk into 12-step rooms, or they walk into therapy, or they walk, or they're pushed, or they walk into a treatment center, there's constant fighting. Now think about it this way: if you were bleeding and you went to a hospital, you wouldn't question why they put gauze and pressure and stitched you up. Or if you had a broken bone and they set your bone and then they put a cast on it so then you could heal faster. You would accept that. Same reason if you are in the ocean and you're dog paddling, and all of a sudden someone throws you a life preserver so then you could float. You don't push the life preserver away and say, No, I got this. I have miles to go before I even see land, and I will drown before I get there. No, you grab onto that life preserver. You actually then continually stay above the water and you get to live. But now think about it from an emotional standpoint. So many people think that they have to do it themselves. They have to actually then solve their own problems, and that becomes the biggest obstacle. People walk into 12-step rooms, therapy, treatment centers, and they're already have their walls up that they're guarded against, that they feel like they just got to try one thing more. No, you've tried enough things on your own and realize life requires help. Life requires people, mentors. If you truly want to grow in your career, you need a mentor. You truly want to grow money, you need a financial mentor. If you really want to get closer to God, you need some type of spiritual advisor, spiritual mentor. So if you want to stop addiction, you need a mentor. That is why I became a recovery coach to get people to the other side. You can't do this alone. And that is unfortunately how a lot of ways psychology works. 12-step rooms and therapy require the person to have the self-initiative. And if you don't use me, you need to have some type of coach. You don't go to the gym and expect to build muscle, lose weight, and not hire a trainer, especially if you have a long way to go. You need to have someone to tell you how to do certain exercises right where you're not overusing your back or your legs and you can isolate a muscle. The same thing with emotions. You need someone to explain step one. What is the essence of step one? The essence of step one is not about stopping addiction and is not about finally realizing that your life is unmanageable. Step one is for someone to really hold you, look you in the eye, and say, you need to change. You need to change something. More than likely, you need to change multiple aspects of your life that you are not feeling fulfilled. You are in a depressive state. That is why I don't like therapists who immediately start prescribing antidepressants. Allow a person to feel. Same thing. When people first walk into a meeting, you encourage them, okay, what do you want? You need to start addressing this today and tomorrow because it'll be so easy to go back to your addiction, to gamble, to drink, to drug, because that is what is known that what feels comfortable. Right now, a new way of life does not feel comfortable. So, in essence, step one is about helping someone to really understand that, okay, we got to change. What can we change today? Can we stop lying today? Can we stop the addiction today? Because you can't truly assess yourself if you're still under the influence of a bet, alcohol, or a drug. You need to detox. I say you've got to have at least 72 hours, hopefully five days to one week, away from your addiction, and then have an honest conversation and saying, okay, what do you want? I always say is you've got to start establishing goals and dreams. But it's amazing how many people that are right out of their last bet or drink can't even dream of anything that they truly want in life, whether it's their family goals, whether it's some type of career goals, whether it's something fun like travel or some type of hobby. They are so inundated with all the other problems that they can't even allow their mind to be free. That's how I realize is that you can't even almost jump in. The way I say step one is about you've got to work the subconscious, you've got to set a schedule, you've got to establish goals and dreams. But before that, you've really got to almost start conditioning yourself. It's like you don't start playing a sport until you warm up. And to me, that is why I came up with the scorecard. You've got to start moving your body. You've got to start eating right. You've got to start talking to people that are supportive. You've got to start reading and listening to podcasts that can uplift you. You've got to be able to start moving the needle in the right direction. So, in essence, these are going to be the why we do the steps. Yes, you do need to stop your addiction, and you do need to hopefully stop today and never go back to it because it is true poison. Alcohol is poison, gambling is poison, drugs are poison. But so is fast food is poison, soda is poison, that's regular soda or diet soda. There's a lot of poison out there that gets fed to us because we're constantly seeing images around gambling, fast food, soda, beer, wine, and we're constantly enforced with society. So you've got to fight on saying, what do I truly want to put into my body? How can I fulfill my body with true health? And that is truly the essence. So to me, step one, as we delve into it, because I say part of also step one is clarity, is honesty, but it's the change. So once we commit and tell someone, okay, you walk into your meeting and you tell someone you've got to change, otherwise, your life is going to continue in a downward spiral. It'll continue downward in some way. It'll be unfulfilled in some way. Doesn't mean that you're going to lose your job or your family. But are you truly going to feel like you're living in your life? You're living the life that you want. That you are living that people truly know who you are and what you want to do with your life. I'm a firm believer in writing down goals and dreams, but I'm also a big believer in getting the certain amount of people into your life that can elevate you, where you feel love, where you feel supported, where you feel challenged, where you feel that you will get the best version of you. And so you have to keep looking at step one as okay, change. What am I going to change? How can I start feeling safe and comfortable and start doing that immediately? So many people waste so much time in recovery after they've wasted so much time in their addiction. I spent 20 years in addiction. And I spent three years not drinking but gambling. So those kind of overlapped. And then it still took a little while, about 40 days, where I finally stopped drinking and gambling and really paying attention in therapy and in 12-step rooms, doing the literature, working on myself, doing everything that needed to be done, not only emotionally, but then later on, spiritually, mentally, physically, so then I could live the type of life that I want. So with that, we are going to encourage you to download the recovery growth scorecard so you can start on doing things for free. I'm a big believer, is the only way to gain trust is to be completely transparent as a coach, as well as to give plenty of free resources out there so people truly understand what is recovery. What is life when you start living it? So, with that, we're going to conclude this episode of the 1% in recovery podcast.