The 1% in Recovery Successful Gamblers & Alcoholics Stopping Addiction
The 1% in Recovery Successful Gamblers & Alcoholics Stopping Addiction
Gambler Alcoholic Jay P from New York, now in Florida, Christmas Recovery And The Sports Bet We Don’t Place
A holiday sunrise, a warm ocean breeze, and a conversation that cuts to the bone of recovery. Jay P. joins us to explore why quitting the bet can be tougher than quitting the bottle, and how the serenity prayer became a daily operating system for real peace of mind. We open with a simple, powerful frame: train your brain toward natural dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin so you’re not hunting relief in places designed to take more than they give.
Jay’s story maps a pattern many “double winners” recognize. Alcohol numbs, but gambling seduces with hope—the next card, the next line, the next live bet to make it all back. That loop weaponizes uncertainty. We unpack the allure of the bailout win and why a big score often makes the problem worse by hardwiring belief in a system you can’t beat. We also tackle the modern sports betting machine: odds baked into broadcasts, ads that never let up, and kids absorbing it all from the couch. Legalization brings access and harm, yet also funding streams for hotlines and treatment.
The theme that anchors everything is peace. Holidays magnify triggers, but with honest tools—meetings, community, and a clear boundary around the “first”—calm becomes possible. We trade frantic fixes for simple practices: work hard at what matters, laugh daily, love without keeping score, and choose routines that reward presence over rush. If you’re feeling the pull from your screen or your old stories, this conversation offers a steady hand and a sane plan. If it resonates, share it with someone who needs a lifeline, hit follow, and leave a review to help others find the show.
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It's Christmas, and we have a special gift for you. We have Jay from New York, now living in Florida. But before we get into him, welcome again to another episode of the 1% in Recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day. Work hard, even on Christmas. Work hard in relationships, work hard in recovery, work hard in your business, your job, school. Just work. And the love unconditionally. Just put much more love out there and watch much more love return. Now we encourage people to download the recovery growth scorecard. It's free. It's on the website lifeiswonderful.love L-O-V-E. That's where we tell people how to get natural dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin. You got to start changing that neuroplasticity in your brain. You got to start healing the brain. And that way you can start really jump starting your recovery. Now, we are ready for our interview. Jay, how are you feeling today?
SPEAKER_00:Christmas Day, spent watching the sunrise on the beach with my best girl. And uh doesn't get much better than that.
SPEAKER_01:Not better. You miss the cold of New York on a Christmas day, or it's it's a little bit of both.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I like to get up there because I have great memories of Christmas time in New York City, but never miss the weather. Never. Never.
SPEAKER_01:Not even skitting on Rick Rockefeller Center.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's beautiful, beautiful. Central Park, Rockefeller Center, Christmas tree, shopping, Fifth Avenue. You know, all the all the beautiful things about it, but yeah, I don't miss the cold. I heard it was it was really warm in Houston uh this week. Yeah, 80 degrees, man. Yeah, nice and green. Beautiful, beautiful, just like Florida. Can't beat that.
SPEAKER_01:Christmas includes swimming here.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, here too. Gonna do that right after this.
SPEAKER_01:All right, let's jump in. Tell the audience one thing you love.
SPEAKER_00:Oh I love I love the ocean.
SPEAKER_01:You love the sound of the ocean, you love jumping in the ocean, you love the walking on the beach, all of it? All of it.
SPEAKER_00:All of it. I just love it. It's beautiful. And I live four miles from there, so that's uh not four not four miles. I could I I could run there on a good day. That's good.
SPEAKER_01:Well, let's jump into the questions. Question one. Now, you like me, you know, one of them double winners, because we needed a little more knowledge about addictions and recovery. Tell the audience like the difference between when you stopped drinking compared to when you stopped gambling. Any difference? Was one recovery harder than the other? I mean, I always say mine was when I stopped drinking, I never drank again because I always had gambling for three more years. So it was a little easier. Tell us your experience.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I stopped gambling, drinking, and drugging all on the same day a long time ago, but it didn't stick on the gambling end. Uh I left the recovery. So to answer the question accurately, uh it wasn't harder to quit gambling. However, I uh I didn't want to quit uh I didn't I didn't come to that full surrender as easily, I suppose. You know, there was always uh reservation and I left I left Gambers Anonymous telling myself I would stay clean, which was an obvious lie, because I wasn't why would I have left Gamblers Anonymous? I wouldn't have if I didn't want to gamble on some subconscious level.
SPEAKER_01:So well, do you consider yourself more of a gambler or a bigger gambler or a bigger out? See, I always said I'm a bigger gambler than I ever was a drinker.
SPEAKER_00:I think so too, for myself too. I think every GA member that also has recovery in AA is similar to that because um it's just a strong I I guess to answer the question, then it's diff more difficult to put down the bet than it was to put down the drink. But it's kind of saying the same thing. I'm a gambler first, I would think. I think I was stealing money from mom to get candy for the people that I didn't care about, uh the other kids, and so that that pattern was set before I ever gambled or used the drug or drank. You know, the the pattern was already set. So yeah, I think every gambler, if you're a gambler, alcohol comes after that, I guess.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. And I also think what makes gambling more unique, and I tell this, is that if you're losing gambling, you still think whether the next sports team, whether roll of a dice, a card is gonna get you back to to even or even be up. If you're four or five drinks in, I don't assume drink number six is gonna get me sober because I don't want to get sober. I don't think after taking three drags of this blunt that all of a sudden I want to get back. No, I want to continue the high. And I think that's where people misunderstand is how, like they say, insidious, how dangerous gambling is, is because we you can be down so much and still have some uh unrealistic hope, but still hope that you're gonna get it back. What do you think?
SPEAKER_00:I like that. I like that, yeah. There there it's very insidious. There is no insidious the alcohol gambling is much more insidious than alcohol. Alcohol, we drink, we get drunk, we fall down, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like the way they describe alcohol. Yeah, it's cunning. Alcohol is more cunning. Right.
SPEAKER_00:More cunning, baffling, not insidious like this. They do use insidious. We we borrowed a lot of words from AA in our in our stuff, but but we never said gambling was baffling because we said we always knew better.
SPEAKER_01:No, we have a better system.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we have a better system, and yeah, and I'm gonna I mean I love to talk to the men and women of GA that that actually hit the big score and did get out, and just it was just so much worse, just like everybody could imagine. I couldn't imagine it because it never happened for me the big the big win to bail out. But many people I've met in program have experienced that. They did they they hit some big score and it was worse than if they hadn't, then than my story. It was worse to them than my story because it kept them out there uh a little bit longer, you know. Um yeah, the the the difference it's not much different because if you're only a gambler, then gambling's the hardest one to quit, and if you're only an alcoholic, then alcohol's the only one to quit. You know, that's really difficult. So, you know, I think there's a hundred or so fellows, 12 step fellowships or more, and if I gave it enough uh uh effort, I could probably qualify for most of them. So, you know, you know, if you know, I I don't I don't overeat, I don't over sex, but I'm sure given enough opportunity, if I wasn't in recovery, truly in recovery, I would go down, I'd over-shop, I'd over, I'd overdo it, I'd over workaholic, however you want. I don't think there's a workaholics anonymous because nobody would attend. They'd be too busy.
SPEAKER_01:Unless they said I have to go to a meeting to keep going.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Well, let's jump into question two gambling. Sports betting, because that's the big one right now, even though now with all the prediction markets, which is essentially also getting into the sports betting. But what do you see as a bigger problem? Do you think it's the relentless advertising that you pick up the phone, you pick up your phone, and you always see some ad. You can't now even whether you watch a game or you just or let's say I'm at the at the gym and the game is on, they're caught the announcers are constantly talking about the odds, they're constantly flashing odds on the bottom of the screen. And you know, the gambling industry is loves to say that they don't market to kids. What do you do you see as any all of that is a problem? Or do you see one is a bigger problem than the other now, with especially now with all the live betting? What do you see?
SPEAKER_00:Well, it's it's relentless advertising. That's a good way to form the question. Um you know, I don't I don't watch sports. Uh I haven't gambled on sports in quite a number of years, but and I and I'm not really much of a of a you know, it's harder to live in Florida and be a I'm not a Yankees fan, but I am a New York Mets fan, which is kind of like being a Chicago Cubs fan. But uh they at least won in the last 10 years.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, they won. It took them another hundred, but they got one in ten.
SPEAKER_00:We got we got well, it's been almost 40. If we win this year, it'll be 40 years in between drinks, I think. Uh which, you know, I'm used to that. I'm a New York Rangers fan as well. But uh the the idea of the announcers, I don't I never listen to announcers ever. I I don't I don't find it necessary. I do my own commentary, which is a problem. But uh but the advertising and the kids and the and the industry says they don't advertise to kids, I I would beg to differ on that on that assertion.
SPEAKER_01:You know, uh because it's already in the subconscious, whether or not they mark, the kids are watching the game with their dad, and the lines are there. Yeah, yeah, you can't avoid it, right?
SPEAKER_00:And then daddy, what's that? What does that mean, daddy?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you know, and then even if you don't watch sports, you just go, I'm just gonna watch Sports Center on ESPN. Well, that's even worse.
SPEAKER_00:Right, it's it's even worse. Yeah, you know, I I don't know after I took a bet whether all that meant anything, because I I was on, you know, I was beyond human aid once I took my first bet anyway. So um I'm not sure about all that. Uh they're gonna get they're gonna get our kind pretty good, better than they got us, but it takes what it takes for anybody to admit complete defeat anyway. So, you know, I don't know what I think about all of it. Like if they legalize gambling, which they have to a great extent across America, um, how detrimental that'll be for our brothers and sisters that haven't found our help. I mean, it's just maybe there's gonna be some silver lining with some hotline information and all that advertising and some some. I remember a good friend of mine, you might have had him on the podcast. Uh he stopped in '68 before, you know, 1968, and he's really like the foremost authority on this stuff.
SPEAKER_01:You're talking about Arnie.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Arnie's been on.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And Arnie um he um he started he started asking the the casino industry for for help with the national uh council and the New Jersey Council, and they did, they put a lot of money towards it. So hopefully the people here, you know, the the powers that be that are behind the industry, so to speak, the the benefactors of all that gambling money that's coming in, whoever that is, even the states, and I think the states, Stevie B is working with New York, and they have some big money for for treatment for gambling. So hopefully that'll be that'll be the silver lining in all of it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you hope that they actually, I mean, there's there's a lot of discussion about you know how to get those funds or who's available, but you know, still uh it's still a such a a minor minor number compared to what they're making. Oh, yeah. We'll help we'll help uh ten people, a hundred people, but you've got millions that are in destruction. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I'm sure you could buy stock in those companies, you know. I don't uh I I'm assuming that.
SPEAKER_01:I'm assuming that trading companies a lot of them are on the stock exchange, but I mean to me it's just like buying to me as an I wouldn't buy stock in any type of liquor or beer company just on the premise of I'm not gonna support what I believe is actual poison, whether it's alcohol or gambling. So it's I believe the same thing. If it goes against your values, don't invest in a company. Absolutely. Even if you can make money. It's not like they say, all money is not good money.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And for right, and if it's a m if it's an ethical dilemma, which it would be for myself as well, I wouldn't either, in either of those two uh companies. But you don't know, like some of these, some of the, you know, I don't know what the big conglomerates are involved in, and some of them are probably.
SPEAKER_01:But I always say, follow the money. If they're putting that much money into these apps, into these casino sportsbooks, is because they believe that they can make revenue, they can increase the bottom line. They're not stupid. No, they're they're doing it because they see a business opportunity, a way to make more money. So if they're trying, if they're using that as to make more money, then you really need to think, what are my chances to actually win in gambling if 99% of all gamblers lose, and only 1% will actually win the lotto or do well. But let's jump into question three, recovery. What has been your greatest gift in recovery? Peace of mind.
SPEAKER_00:You know, I've been to many, many meetings or 12-step meetings in my life, and I I think um 100% of them either started or ended with the serenity prayer, or some of them both start and end with the serenity prayer. So um that the serenity prayer. It's just a it's just a design, just the serenity prayer in itself, not the whole 12 steps, uh so to speak, but just the serenity prayer in itself is a design for living that's worked for me well, very well. And I would have to say that's the greatest gift. Peace of mind. I don't have to worry when I see my family. You know, this time of year brings a lot of anxiety for a lot of people, not for me. Not for me. And that's amazing. That's an amazing thing, you know. It's it's a known fact that people that aren't addicts or alcoholics or gamblers, you know, they they have tons of anxiety around this time of year. And then also everybody else in our group that does as well. But uh number of years of practicing the serenity prayer is uh it's the greatest gift. Peace and I agree.
SPEAKER_01:And then the uh the other issue is if you're still in the addiction and your anxiety is increasing, you either got to go to the car to smoke a blunt, either you gotta take an extra, oh, I'm gonna have another beer. I just drank that one way too fast. I need a new, I need a new fill-up, or I'm gonna be back on my phone placing another bet, whether it's a live bet or it's the next game. Uh, and the way the industry is, you can bet now nonstop. You don't have to just you don't have to do like we used to do, is which was the NBA major league baseball and football. You know, now you're betting anything that's going on around the world.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I learned a lot about about uh ping pong and something like some the in my meetings that talk these kids are talking about. I don't know how they avoid, I don't know how they avoid it, like you said, 24-7. You know, I did I did some options trading in my gambling, but this is worse than that because there's still markets that have to, you still have to have players in the markets, and all the markets close.
SPEAKER_01:So so uh and that's but you can actually verify if the market goes up or down. To me, is it like how do I know if those ping pong matches actually exist?
SPEAKER_00:Right. It could all be AI and just to take everybody's money. Like they don't even have to. That was why I stopped sports fanning, because I was with this bookmaker and he said, You don't have to pay the big. Just pick. If I if you're picking, I'm winning. No matter who you are, so there's no professional against the against the point spread. There's no professional gambler against the point spread. That's a myth. That's a myth. You can't do it.
SPEAKER_01:I would I would always I would take people knew I always had books and people would give me their pets. I wouldn't even put them in. I just thought them myself. These are these are losers. At least I know I got like we were talking, I'm gonna get my juice money now.
SPEAKER_00:You're telling my story. People would give me their bets, and they would never make it to where they were supposed to go. But I'm still gonna collect. Oh yeah, oh yeah, and paying is a little iffy situation if they if they happen to by accident win a vet. All right, any quick last words? No, just thank you. Merry Christmas to everybody and peaceful every day.
SPEAKER_01:All right, with that, we are gonna conclude this episode of the 1% in recovery.