The Essence of Recovery Step Twelve - Ubuntu, Humanity

Want a recovery blueprint that actually sticks? We dive into the heart of Step 12 through Ubuntu—“I am because we are”—and show how elevating others transforms your mind, your spirit, and your relationships. This isn’t theory. We map out practical ways to carry the message: a simple scorecard to reinforce healthy habits, a Top 10 list of people to uplift, and small, repeatable acts that build trust, intimacy, and resilience.

We talk about how service triggers natural dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin, giving you sustainable motivation while your brain rewires for recovery. Then we connect the dots between maturity, listening, schedule, and silence—four daily practices that turn good intentions into reliable character. You’ll hear personal stories that show why presence matters more than perfection, from early nudges toward generosity to immersive service with teens who needed round-the-clock support. Each example underscores a single truth: when you help someone feel safe, seen, and stronger, you grow too.

As we expand from self-work to community impact, we anchor the journey in humility—living in the sunshine of the spirit and remembering we’re one person in a vast world, yet still responsible for our corner. Whether you’re early in recovery or fortifying long-term sobriety, you’ll leave with a clear plan: show up for your partner and family, strengthen ties at work and in community, and practice small, consistent actions that add up to spiritual momentum. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs encouragement, and leave a review with one name you plan to uplift this week.

Chapters

• 0:00 Helping Others And Step 12
• 0:14 Work Hard, Love, And Recover
• 0:41 Free Scorecard For Recovery
• 1:27 Ubuntu And Spiritual Awakening
• 2:52 Carrying The Message Through Service
• 4:02 Deepening Relationships And Community
• 5:26 Living In The Sunshine Of The Spirit
• 6:27 Stories Of Service And Growth
• 9:16 Ubuntu As A Lifelong Practice
• 10:16 The Last Six Steps: Others First
• 10:48 Closing Reflection

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Helping others. Do you know how to make other people great? Well, that is the essence of step 12. Ubuntu Humanity. Welcome again to another episode of the 1% in recovery podcast, where we encourage you to laugh every day. To work hard, work hard in recovery. Work hard in your relationships. Work hard in your business, your job, school, just work. And to love unconditionally. Put much more love out there and watch more and more love return to you. It's good to love. Now, what we are encouraging people to do is to go to the website lifeiswonderful. So everybody can get a jump start on their recovery. Or if you're already in recovery, how to fortify it. The scorecard's free. Let me repeat that. The scorecard is free. All you have to do is download it, and it is a spreadsheet, and you keep you are the only one that keeps score. And you get that natural dopamine, natural serotonin, natural endorphins, natural oxytocin. So you start changing the neuroplasticity in your brain and you start healing and recovering faster and stronger. Now, let's jump into this week's episode. The essence of step 12. Ubuntu, humanity. Ubuntu is an African term, essentially mean if I am there for you, you will be there for me. If I make you great, you're going to make me great. So, and also, step 12 is about, which is part of humanity, being of service, looking out, but it is so much greater than what is actually written in the 12 steps. Upon having a spiritual experience, upon having a spiritual awakening, maybe we're going back to either to the first edition or the third edition. We have to have some type of spirituality. But if you are getting in touch, especially these last six steps, which I did from steps seven to 11, which we are thinking of others, it's about maturity, it's about listening, it's about schedule, and it's about silence, and it is about Ubuntu. That means that you are having some type of spiritual awakening because you are working through all the emotional issues, all the spiritual issues. You are making your character stronger. So you become a different person. Essentially, it's the same person, but really all the good qualities are coming out now. And then we're carrying the message. You carry the message by trying to make other people great, by being there, showing up, number one, for yourself, showing up, number two, for everybody else that's super important to you, especially anybody that you love, your family, your spouse, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, partner, your kids, your parents, your siblings, your extended family, aunts and uncles and cousins, your best friends, your other friends, any other type of organization that you're involved with, anybody that you work with, all your clients, that is how you show up. You figure out how to make other people great, and they will make you great. That is the beauty of step 12. That is the beauty of living and thinking of service, thinking of Ubuntu, thinking about humanity, thinking about that you are only a small speck in the essence of the overall, the history of the world, the history, even here on earth, you are just one person out of 9 billion people, 8 billion people, whatever the big number is. There are other people out there that are trying to make a difference. But if you try to just impact 10 people, go after 10, put top 10 and figure out what how can I make these people great, you will then experience this spiritual awakening, this spiritual experience, this ability to tap in where you will be able to listen more, which means that you have a lot more empathy. We have a lot more connection. You have deeper and intimate relationships with everyone. Most importantly, the most important person in your life should be whoever your partner is, as well as developing and deepening these other relationships in terms of family, friends, business. Those are usually the top three. And then anything else that interests you, what other organizations could be 12-step rings, could be any of your alma maters, could be any of your hobbies, could be any of your sporting teams. There is so much out there. And let's not even forget any type of religious organization, church, synagogue, mosque, anybody else where you constantly try to connect and are really trying to develop yourself. As long as you are doing something healthy for you, those are all the different people that you need to tap into. We're not talking about people that would take us away from the sunshine of the spirit. You know, that's written in the big book, the sunshine of the spirit. We're going to catapult it into the fourth dimension. You know, those imageries should be part of your vocabulary, saying, Man, I just want to just live in the sun. You see how this sun, we are here in December, here in Houston. It is 80 degrees. It is a green, green Christmas. But I'm also stepping into the sun, into the beauty of the sun, into the beauty of my heart, opening up my heart, making other people bigger, better, and greater. Kind of also that uh quote about good, better, best. Good, better, best, never let it rest until the good gets better, and the better gets best. That is very key. That was actually written hundreds of years ago by Saint Jerome, but it is so essential. Think of the times where you've really stepped up. I remember as a little kid, we would go back to Bolivia. My parents are Bolivian, we would go back to Bolivia, and my mother would always see some type of homeless person or very poor person somewhere in the plaza or somewhere where we were walking around, put a few coins into my hand and say, put some coins into the poor person's tin cup. I was always kind of scared, but my mother would say, Go, do it, push. You know how mothers are. They do that little friendly push, go over there, and then I would drop the coins and they would be very grateful. Didn't matter the exact amount, but knew that there were several coins in there that they could at least get something to eat. You know, later on, as I grew up uh, you know, in high school, we'd had we had to do 100 hours of community service before we graduated from Strike Jesuit. And in that, there was two big assignments. One junior year would go into the inner city and we would either try to test them either on their vision, their hearing, or their motor control. And senior year that spent a whole week with what's called Camp Cougar at the University of Houston, where there was uh different age groups, either kids, teenagers, or adults that were mentally challenged. Happened to be working with teenagers, and you spent um, you know, sleeping and you know, giving their parents a break for a week where they would the the three campers would be in one room. There would be an open door, kind of like a uh dorm room. Then me and the other counselor would be in the other room. We would monitor these three kids and try to make sure that they were enjoying themselves as well as being safe. And, you know, just later on, different things that have happened, you know, where you kind of give of yourself, whether it's donating time to the Houston Food Bank, going and just being there for others. Part of actually being in recovery is just being there more for the family or just being actually present in my relationships where I give of myself, and then I can just be open to receive love. Doesn't mean that every relationship is going to continue. But as long as you mean well and you do and you show up and you, you know, do certain amount of things, and you actually search your feelings, you know, you can make an impact, even if the relationship was just a few years, or it could be even a decade. And that means that you are making progress. So I want to encourage you, you know, now out to constantly push this idea. It means so much to me that I had the words Ubuntu tattooed on the right side of my body, vertical, uh, you know, going underneath the armpit, going down towards the hip. Because I always want to be reminded that I am here to really elevate, of course, my life, but I really am here to elevate others. And under the understanding, if I help more and more people, they are gonna help me. And that is my experience. I want to keep pushing people to be there for others, be there for yourself, and do all these last six steps differently than the first six steps in terms of the essence. Because I told you the essence in the beginning was about self, or we're talking, you know, anywhere between, you know, change, you know, to actual, you know, dealing with your character. But these last six of others, think of these words again others, maturity, listening, schedule, silence, ubuntu. That means if you're doing all of that, you are there for others. And with that, we are going to conclude this episode of the 1% in recovery podcast.