346: Feeling Stuck in Your Mid-Career? Stop Overthinking Career Decisions and Use This Smarter Strategy

If you are feeling stuck in your mid-career or struggling to decide whether to stay in your current job or make a career change, this episode will challenge how you think about career decisions.

I see this all the time with mid-career professionals. You believe you need to choose between staying or leaving, stability or growth, loyalty or advancement. That kind of thinking feels responsible, but it is often what keeps you stuck and unable to move forward.

In this episode, I introduce a more effective strategy called “and thinking.” This is a practical way to approach mid-career decision making so you can take action without waiting for perfect clarity. You can stay in your current role and actively explore new opportunities. You can maintain your income and benefits while building a real career transition plan.

At mid-career, the pressure to make the right decision is higher. Whether you are in your late 30s, 40s, or 50s, the fear of making a wrong move can keep you overthinking and delaying action. But waiting until you feel completely certain is not a strategy. It is what keeps your career stuck.

I walk you through how to use your current job as a strategic asset instead of something you feel trapped in. You will learn how to create a structured career transition strategy, build visibility in your current role, and position yourself for promotion or your next opportunity.

If you have been asking yourself, “Should I stay or leave my job?” or “Why am I not moving forward in my career?” this episode will give you a more strategic way to think and act.

Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is for mid-career professionals who:

• Feel stuck in their job but are unsure whether to stay or make a career change
• Are not getting promoted despite consistently strong performance
• Want more career clarity but keep overthinking their next move
• Are trying to balance financial stability with long-term career growth
• Know they are capable of more but are not sure how to move forward

If you are tired of feeling stuck in your mid-career and want a clear, structured way to build momentum, visibility, and career clarity, the SHOW UP Leadership Lab is your next step.

Inside, you will learn how to position yourself for promotion, communicate your value, and take strategic action in your career with consistency a

Transcript

Welcome And Who This Serves

John Neral 0:03

Hello, my friends, and welcome to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. I'm your host, John Narrell. This is the show for mid-career professionals who feel stuck, undervalued, or unsure what's next, and know that doing more isn't the answer. Here we focus on how you show up, how you make clear decisions, build influence, and take control of your career. Let's get started. Are you having this internal debate with yourself right now? Do I stay in my job or do I go and find a new one? Do I keep doing this work or do I pivot into doing something completely different? Do I focus on stability or do I go after what I really want? If that's how you're thinking about your career right now, let me be very direct. You are not stuck because you don't have options. You're stuck because you are forcing a decision that doesn't actually exist. See, mid-career is not about choosing between this or that. It's about learning how to hold this and that at the same time. And if you don't learn how to do that, that's what causes you to stay stuck, even if you make a change. So in this episode, I want to break down for you the difference between what I call or and thinking. We're going to debate whether our brain takes us to a place of it's either one or the other, or whether or not we can actually have both. See, most mid-career professionals default to binary thinking. And look, it makes sense. It's it's how we were raised and how we were trained. We pick the right job, we make the smart move, we climb to the next step. But that model that served us very early on in our career breaks down when we hit mid-career. That time in our 30s, 40s, and even the early part of our 50s, because now our decisions carry more weight than ever. We're not just thinking about a new job or we're not thinking about our current job. We're thinking about our income, our reputation, our identity, how we lead, our visibility, our stability. And what's next? So when you find yourself reducing your decisions to this or that, you're oversimplifying something that actually requires and demands a lot of strategy. And here's what I see all of the time. I see smart, capable, mid-career professionals staying stuck for months, maybe even years, because they're trying to force clarity through a decision that was never designed to give it to them. Let's let's dig in a little bit more. When we're trying to make a decision about our career or how we're navigating to whatever is next, it's not what should I choose. It's really about what can I hold at the same time? And this is what I call and thinking, A and D. It sounds like this. I can stay in my job and I can actively explore what's next. I can perform at a high level doing high quality work and increase my visibility. I can mainstone in my career and start testing a different direction to see if it's viable. This is not about doing everything at once. We are not superheroes. We're not putting on the cape and thinking we can do everything and run at 100% all the time and forgo sleep. That's just not going to happen. But this is about refusing to trap yourself or put yourself in a box that actually gives you a false trade-off. Because most of the time that trade-off is not real. It just feels real because you're trying to eliminate some kind of uncertainty before you move. After all, the last thing you want to do is make a mistake. You don't want to end up in a job and think six months later, why did I come here? Why did I leave my old job? Why did I give up my old salary? Why did I chase this money? Why did I go after this particular title? Only to feel like six months later you've now regretted this entire decision. See, when we're younger and we start looking for a new job, it's easier. There, there, there's a certain level of desirability in being that younger employee where we can make moves and feel like, ah, if I screw up a little bit, it's going to be okay. I'll figure that out. But when you have responsibilities and mortgages and kids and caring for aging parents and trying to save enough for retirement and college funds and all things like that, the weight becomes even heavier because the responsibilities are more. And I hear from people I work with all the time, John, I don't want to make a mistake. And we dig into what a mistake would actually look like. But when, and I always say, I feel like we get to a point in our careers where we cross a bridge. We're working in an organization, we realize it's no longer a great fit, we're ready for something more, and we cross this bridge over into something next. It can become a very aura type thinking. How do I stay at my job and look for another one? It's actually pretty easy. You honor the commitments that you have within your current job and you find time to network and apply and search for other positions outside of your workday. That means you're probably not going to be able to do Netflix and chill as much. You're not going to be able to do scroll as much on your phone. You might have to shift some priorities around. But if it's that important to you, you can do both. The joy in all of this is that the and is actually what gives you the clarity. When I was looking to make a huge move during my mid-career journey, and I was looking to leave a school district that I truly enjoyed working at, but the advanced positions that I wanted weren't available. Now, additionally, I was also in a personal situation because I was planning to move from New Jersey to Washington, D.C. to be with my now husband. And his job was not one that he could actually leave the area for. So I said, look, I'll come to D.C. if I can find a job. Well, the story goes on that I had lined up a job working for the District of Columbia Public Schools, was all set to leave my job, but I hadn't given notice because I didn't have the agreement in hand yet. And basically in the 11th hour, the funding got cut and those positions, one of which was going to be mine, got eliminated. And I remember my deputy chief calling me up and she says, I'm so sorry, but I've been assured I'm going to have the funding next year. If it still works out, I'd love for you to come and apply. So I held my cards close to my vest, if you will. And I thought, okay, so if I know I'm going into a job for another year, and I know that my plan is to leave that job at the end of that year, and I would give appropriate notice and all things. What do I get to learn? What skills do I get to develop? How do I get to be an even better candidate for DC public schools than I was this year? So it didn't become an or mentality. It was either this job or that one. It became an and mentality because I knew I was moving towards something bigger, something that was going to challenge me more. So when I looked at my leadership development, my communication skills, when I looked at a skill gap or where I wanted to develop a particular talent, I now had time to do that. And when I got the job offer, I actually gave my notice in February. I stayed in that job through June. And in July of 2010, I started my job with DC Public Schools. If I didn't have that kind of and mentality, I wouldn't have had a truly successful year in that transition because I was very clear on what I wanted to learn and what I wanted to gain. When we're trying to navigate this part of our career journey, we often seek stability and strategy. And let's acknowledge those things are important. We have the ability to stay in our current job and plan our next move. Most people say they're doing this, but very few do it strategically. For me, the big difference was I was strategically figuring out and identifying what I needed to learn in those 12 months to make me an even better employee and candidate when I accepted this new job. But if you catch yourself or you hear people saying, Well, I'm looking for my next opportunity and I'm just, you know, I'm kind of treading water where I'm at and everything, listen very carefully to yourself and to others. Are they mentally checked out of their job? Are they just going through the motions? Or are they so consumed in one or the other that they can't do anything else? When we adopt and thinking, it requires us to treat our current role as an asset. And that asset is what we get to leverage. Because in your current job, in your current role where you have a salary and benefits and experiences, that job is now your runway. Your income is your runway. Your role is where you get to test what works and what doesn't. Your network and how you continually build your network is a part of your leverage. But here's where people fall apart with this. They don't intentionally create the strategy to transition from where they are to where they want to be. And when there is no strategy, there is no accountability. It's as if you fly by the seat of your pants thinking, ah, it's just gonna work out. And then you find yourself a month, three months, six months later, still stuck, still miserable, still unhappy, because you never built the plan to help you transition to what's next. It's what I get to do as a coach. It's what I get to do to help my clients build that transition plan in how they show up to figure out what's going to be next. The second thing to consider is your performance and your visibility. Doing great work, we've said before on the podcast, time and time again, one of the biggest traps you will fall into is thinking that doing great work will speak for yours for itself. What I want you to consider here is the opportunity to do incredible performance with enhanced visibility. So you can do great work and make sure the right people know it. Who are the people within your organization that need to know how great you are, the work that you're doing? Because if you assume that your work is going to speak for yourself, it won't. It won't at this mid-career, mid-level piece where you're at. When you try to increase your visibility, let's acknowledge it is going to be uncomfortable. It will make you vulnerable, it will scare the heck out of you. Right? You might even feel like physically sick that you're stepping out and doing something different. And this is where many people stop. This is where the breakdown happens. It's not because they don't know what to do, it's because they don't do it consistently enough for it to matter. You're like, oh, I spoke up at a meeting, it didn't work well, I'm not gonna do it again. Oh, I went to a check-in meeting with my boss, and you know, they didn't really seem receptive to my idea about putting me on a new project. So I'm not gonna put myself out there anymore. You have to be prepared to embrace failure in your career to figure out what works and what doesn't. You have to be willing to put yourself out there time and time again to get the traction and momentum and the visibility and the exposure you need to get what it is that you want. Another trap that I see mid-career professionals fall into all the time. And I want to spend a couple minutes on this to clear up a misconception, is that I will hear people say, you know, I really want to make a move, but I just need to get clear first on what it is I want. No, you don't. This is how we stay stuck. If you think you need to think more, journal more, reflect more, talk to more people, you don't. And the reason is that you are putting so much weight and emphasis on being clear first before making an action that it paralyzes you. There are very few guarantees in this life. I remember, I remember my dad saying to me, there's only two guarantees. You're gonna die and you're gonna have to pay taxes. That's it. If that's true, then we can't be a hundred percent certain of anything else. If you love somebody, if you are in a relationship with someone you truly love, you're never a hundred percent certain. You might give a hundred percent. You might give a hundred percent of your heart to that person day in and day out, but there's no hundred percent guarantee that it's gonna last. It's the same thing with our jobs. We might think we're safe, we're wonderful, we're valued, we're we're appreciated, and then something comes in, or somebody comes in, and there's cuts, and your head's on the chopping block, and now you're without a job. The clarity is something we desire. My question to you is how obtainable is it really? The thing that I want to add to what you can be most certain about is how you show up, is how you show up day in and day out with belief and conviction and value. If you're looking for clarity, clarity is not something you think your way into. Clarity is something you build and obtain because of the actions you take. But action creates uncertainty, and uncertainty, my friends, is freaking uncomfortable. So, what do most people do? They wait. I need to think about it, they analyze, they journal, and they stay exactly where they are. And the only thing that continues is time. And so, if you're waiting for clarity, time's gonna pass you. If you're waiting for clarity or you're waiting to be certain about what you should do or what you want to do, the reality is somebody else is gonna position themselves differently and more strategically and get that opportunity before you. One of my sports coaches used to say, if you're gonna make a shot, make it the best damn shot you possibly can. Go down swinging if you have to. But put everything out there. And for so many of us that played sports, whatever sport it is that you played, I'm sure you can recall a coach or a mentor who advised you in some way, and you can take that lesson and apply that to your life and career. Uncertainty is uncomfortable. I was I was competing in a professional bowling tournament um a couple weekends ago, and got to a point in the 10th frame, I needed to throw two strikes in the 10th to win my match. And I got up there and I was doing my pre-shot routine and planning to make my shot. And I said, the only thing I can promise myself here is I'm gonna make the best shot I possibly can in this moment. Whatever happens after that ball comes off my hand, I have no control over. The only thing I have control over is how I execute this shot. I made a great shot. I got nine. I didn't strike, I lost my match. But at least I stayed fully committed. It's what I want you to consider here. Are you showing up and playing fully committed in your career right now? Or are you taking a step back because you are hesitant, fearful, or concerned that what you might do may not work out? Look, I want to be clear. I am not saying, suggesting, advising in any way, shape, or form that you throw caution to the wind and be like, yeah, whatever happens, happens. We're we're very calculated human beings. We're still gonna introduce an element of safety here. But where can you be a little bolder? Where can you put yourself out there a little bit more? Where can you show up more impactfully and differently? So stay with me here because if you've been a little uncomfortable, I'm gonna say something that might be really uncomfortable. If you've been stuck for a while, if you've been unhappy in your job, unhappy with your leadership, you feel stuck, undervalued, underutilized, it is not because you don't understand what to do. You know what to do. You've heard advice like this before. You stay in your job, you look for other opportunities, you speak up more in meetings, you take action to get clarity. You already know this. But knowing this hasn't changed anything. And that's the point. This is not a knowledge problem. You are more than capable, you have more than enough knowledge. That is there. This, my friend, is a consistency problem. It is an accountability problem. It is an identity problem. Because and thinking requires you to operate differently. When you're holding what is currently present and moving to something different, it requires you to hold tension. And thinking requires you to make a move without full certainty. And thinking requires you to show up consistently even when it feels uncomfortable. If you have ever tried to lose a pound, five pounds, ten pounds, twenty pounds, fifty pounds, if you've ever tried to eat healthier, it requires you to do and thinking. I'm going to go about my day and I have to find time for a workout. I'm going to go about my day and make better choices when it comes to meal time. That is the tension. The tension here is if you want to make a change, you can only do it with and thinking. You have to hold what is currently present and start taking actions to make moves toward what's next. But most po most people don't do that long enough to see if it works. Ah, this wasn't for me, this didn't work. When we lean into and thinking, we embrace what happens in the moment, and we get excited about what's on the other side. We become optimistic about what's possible when that thing we want happens. It happened every time you got promoted, every time you earned a bonus, every time you were awarded a project, or you took a lead on something. The and thinking allows us to do what it is we ultimately want to be able to do because we're moving in that direction. The binary thinking of, well, I did this, I have to stop, and now I'm gonna go do that, doesn't work. Mid-career is too fluid and too moving in so many different directions. It's why, when we are able to embrace and thinking that we get to tell our story from a place of value and service. I did this job and I worked toward this new role. When I was employed as a project manager, I was able to gain certain skills and experiences that then positioned me for a senior project management position. When you're going into a job interview, I invite you to really think about and thinking in your answers. How are you telling that story about what you are currently doing and positioning yourself for what's next? So if you've been listening to this episode and you're saying to yourself, you know, John, this all makes sense. I just need to start doing this. I want you to pause. And I want you to ask yourself, does this seem familiar? Have you said this to yourself before? And if nothing has changed, you have to ask yourself a better question. The question is not, what should I do now? The question is, why haven't you been doing this already? Where are you avoiding discomfort? Where are you waiting for certainty or assuredness? Where are you trying to figure this out on your own instead of actually moving? Because that's where the real bottleneck is. That's what's getting you stuck. What's getting you stuck is not in the strategy. What gets you stuck is in the follow-through. Just because you are of a certain age and you have certain experiences and you have some nice degrees on the wall doesn't mean you have to figure it out all on your own. It doesn't mean that you can't ask for help or you can't seek some guidance or advice. You don't have to have all the answers yourself. Some of the greatest ways we learn is by tapping into our networks and seeking support that we need because of somebody else's experience or insight. If you're looking to show up differently, this is exactly why I created the show up leadership lab. Because most mid-career professionals don't need more information. They need a place where they actually follow through. I created the show up leadership lab because I want to create a room where mid-career professionals can think strategically about their career, get clarity on how they want to show up, and most importantly, execute consistently. To execute consistently and have the space to evaluate what worked, what didn't, what they learned, and what they want to do differently next time. It is the room where over time you create results. Because trying to do this on your own, this is where most people get stuck. They think about it, they plan it. I just need to be more disciplined. I just need to be more dedicated. I'm not fully committed. I just need to put my phone down. And then they'll revisit it a few weeks later, only to find that nothing changed. Inside the lab, we remove the gap. You're not just hearing ideas like this, you are applying them. You are being challenged, you are being held accountable to how you show up in your career and how you lead. So if you are tired, if you are tired of thinking about what needs to change and you are ready to actually start moving, I want to invite you to join us. You can join the Show Up Leadership Lab right now for$47 a month.$47 a month to start taking action on where you are in your career right now. Because at mid-career, this is not about choosing the perfect path. It is about becoming the kind of mid-career professional and leader who moves forward even when the path isn't fully clear. It's where we sit with the discomfort and we work through it. So if you want to know more, you can check the show notes. Go to my website, johnnarrell.com forward slash show up and come on in. Space is open. Would love to have you come on in. Let's work on what it means for you to show up and start adopting and thinking to help move your career forward in ways you have been thinking and dreaming about. But now we get to start implementing that. Let's start making that a reality. Okay, johnnarrell.com forward slash show up or check the show notes. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Went a little longer than what I thought it was going to, but I hope you got some value from it and hope to see you inside the show up leadership lab. So I'll leave you with this as always. You will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time, and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day. Thank you for listening to the Mid Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform. And if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple Podcasts. Visit johnner.com for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS, or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at John Darrell Coaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care. Remember, how we show up matters.