Episode 87: Blowin Sh*t Up

Hey there folks! (despite how Roy intros this episode) WELCOME to episode 87!!!! (he says it so confidently too...) Roy & Joseph cram into the studio and gather around a couple of mics to discuss the following...

•  (00:09) Intro
•  (02:01) Blowing Shit off and Blowin Shit Up
•  (10:06) Good Movie Remakes
•  (19:00) Time Travel 
•  (25:47) a little pause
•  (26:30) Professional Cuddling
• (28:46) Craigslist Missed Connections

and slightly more!!!!

Please be warned! these episodes are raw and unedited. they may contain the occasional pop, or drop in sound. 

This show was sponsored by 

• Earsys (956 510 5778)

we are are excited to announce our newest sponsors!

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Transcript

Speaker 0:00

I want to be stereotyped. I want to be classified.

INTRO

Joseph Soto 0:29

All right. All right. Welcome back to the Not Suitable for Listeners podcast. My name is Joseph Soto. I'm one of the co-hosts, and uh today have we got a good one. But before we get into it, let me go ahead and introduce your second co-host. What's up, buddy? What's your name?

Roy Alex Gomez 0:48

Roy Alex Gomez. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to episode 85. 85? Yeah, 85. 85. The not suitable for listeners podcast. We are inching our way to episode 100, and I'm pretty sure we'll get there sometime soon. Oh yeah, man, episode 85. And I'm as always joined by. Again, it's just us two. It's just us two. Yeah, sorry. Uh you get what you paid for, and it's free, so fuck you, right? So you didn't get it. You didn't pay for it. Sorry. Can't complain. Anyways, uh, yeah, man. Uh so we just had a couple of shows. We did uh 4th of July.

Joseph Soto 1:33

3rd of July as well.

Roy Alex Gomez 1:34

And the 3rd of July, that's right.

Joseph Soto 1:36

Does anyone ever talk about the 3rd of July? I don't think so. The the older brother of the 4th.

Roy Alex Gomez 1:41

I think everybody's just scrambling to probably try and get those barbecues ready for the fourth. And, you know, uh Do you think there was a lot of barbecuing this year? I don't know, but I know for a fact there were at least maybe a handful of people who lost their hands.

Joseph Soto 1:53

Oh yeah, no, those videos were circulating.

Roy Alex Gomez 1:56

It's crazy because back in the day we'd only hear about it. True. Nowadays. Word of mouth. Yeah, nowadays you can see it in all its 4th of July glory. And it's caught in 4K. Most of the times, yeah.

Blowing Shit Off and Blowin Shit UP

Roy Alex Gomez 2:09

Like that one really famous one with that paraplegic in the chair. Yeah. Oh, I love it. Put it in reverse, Terry. Terry, what do you all know? That's my favorite one.

Joseph Soto 2:19

I love it.

Roy Alex Gomez 2:19

Yeah. Oh man, those are always great, aren't they?

Joseph Soto 2:22

I think Terry did it on purpose.

Roy Alex Gomez 2:23

You think so? He just he was like, I want to end it. No, not end it.

Joseph Soto 2:28

Just like, I want to see how close I can get.

Roy Alex Gomez 2:30

Uh I don't know. Maybe, right? You need some sort of thrill, I guess, at some point.

Joseph Soto 2:35

I mean, he had it. I mean, uh, you know, he had it in the beginning. Then I guess he got scared, missed a button or two.

Roy Alex Gomez 2:41

I think, yeah, it's the what is it? Like the nerves of being put on the spot to have to do something important and then and also a shout out to the friend that just left him there. He could have easily gotten too much. I got you, Terry, don't worry about it. Could have, you know, if not pushed his wheelchair, just grabbed him out of the fucking chair to begin with. I I think they might have had like seatbelts or whatever, but still. I think so. I think so, yeah.

Joseph Soto 3:04

I think he's got a like uh what are those uh safety belts.

Roy Alex Gomez 3:06

Yeah, it takes the the click of one thumb.

Joseph Soto 3:09

I was watching this one video where the um it's uh it's on a beach, like a like a little dock. This guy lights a big tube. It's like look, you can tell it's homemade. It's a big old PVC tube, probably the size of a tire. Oh shit. Launches a big one in there, and it just you just see a big explosion, just fire come out, and he's like, Where is it? Where the hell did it go? And the whole thing just pops right off. PVC and plastic everywhere.

Roy Alex Gomez 3:33

Dude, those are some of my favorite fireworks growing up. I don't know if I've told this story here, but uh growing up when I was getting into some rambunctious mischief, yeah. Um, there was a house that me and my uh delinquent friends would target every week, like every Friday, at the same time, like around 6 30. For no particular reason, other than it became periodically. It was just a house, yeah. 6 30 that we could easily recognize. And um every every 4th of July, every New Year's, what I would do was uh I would um stockpile those specific, they would call them artillery shells, like the basic name for them. Ah, and you know, you pop it into a PVC pipe, and those are the ones that make the big old explosion. Yeah. The theatrical-looking fireworks.

Joseph Soto 4:26

The ones that people pay thousands of dollars for. Yeah. When you could only just drop, what, a hundred?

Roy Alex Gomez 4:30

Right. So what I would do is uh we would target this house every week, and it was around Christmas time, so they would put up their Christmas decorations and like we'd throw one of those in the middle of a nativity scene. Dude, it was great. Every week, too, like clock orange, we'd just show up around the same time. There would be a few new decorations, and then that's where we would. Oh, sweetheart, my nativity scene.

Joseph Soto 4:56

Jesus is everywhere!

Roy Alex Gomez 5:00

Oh man, those are some good times. And then I was also uh not of age to be tried as an adult. So there was some real flip thing. I still don't know who it was. I know. I wonder like if they if they specifically were even there for any of those, because um it it gradually went up to that. It started with like maybe um like they had a for sale car outside or a car that had said for sale for a while. And it had been parked on the edge for maybe like a good two years or whatever. And again, I'm not saying that I condone any of this behavior. I was a little asshole for even doing any of this stuff. But uh, you know, I would me and my buddies, we would take like a uh a paint. It started gradually with a paintball gun and with like five paintballs. We didn't have money to buy stocks. They were expensive, exactly. You know we were opportunistic, and that was like all the only times when we would I guess have any ammo is if somebody maybe pocketed a few from their cousin or some shit.

Joseph Soto 6:04

You know, I don't remember keeping bottle rockets or like tube tube uh you know bombs or whatever they're called, but I do remember keeping a pack of 2,000 black cats. Oh, nice. The roll. Yeah. Yeah. And it's I I remember my my brother and I, we just randomly out of nowhere. It's like, eh, it's the summer, why not? Fourth of July is already over. Uh, it's like it's like beginning of August. Unroll it in the middle of the neighborhood and just 2,000 black cats at fucking one in the morning.

Roy Alex Gomez 6:36

You know, there is something about uh blowing shit up that's just so fun, isn't it? That okay, so there was a little bit of uh Okay, that house actually had um It was haunted. No, uh they had uh like designer mailboxes like that were in the shape of things. One time, like I think we wound up just messing up some of their mailboxes to the point where they replaced it, but with with something that I think they had kind of just makeshift painted on the fly or whatever. Reinforced steel. It was no, it was one of those regular aluminum ones, and then uh I just shoved an artillery shell into that, and it just it just kind of like imploded no kind of yeah. Boom! Sort of just became this odd-looking round shape from I guess that blast or whatever.

Joseph Soto 7:30

Like a T terminator, like a T2 uh T1000 look.

Roy Alex Gomez 7:33

Sort of, I suppose.

Joseph Soto 7:34

Just all blumpy, bro. Yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 7:37

And those things, if you weren't really careful with, those are the things that blow your fingers off, you know.

Joseph Soto 7:42

Oh, dude, don't even talk start. Um M80. Oh, I know. My left hand. Bah dang. Ah, dude, it was so crazy. Like it, it it's not bullshit. It does hurt.

Roy Alex Gomez 7:53

Oh, for sure.

Joseph Soto 7:53

Like my hand was throbbing for about like a day, and my fingers were swollen.

Roy Alex Gomez 7:58

It's a mini explosion, you know, right in your hand.

Joseph Soto 8:01

Um and it's one of those dumb, stupid moments, too, where you're like, ah, did it light, and you see that little oh, and then it goes, and then it creeps up on you as well. Yeah, there's like oh it stopped, it stopped. And then it out of nowhere. As soon as I lowered my left hand, ah, I'll just wait. Boom!

Roy Alex Gomez 8:18

Ah, man. Yeah, I remember having my fair share of like burns and stuff like that, but I was fairly okay, I think, with uh like how I as far as not hurting myself with those things, you know. You're lucky. I never hurt anything else. Like, I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt animals like a psychopath, but like, you know, uh who does that? No, I was pro I was more prone to like destruction of property, if anything. I'm an arsonist. Yeah.

Joseph Soto 8:53

I was a pyro.

Roy Alex Gomez 8:54

You know, it was X-Men inspired me. And again, uh not not of an age to be tried as an adult, so Can you imagine that?

Joseph Soto 9:03

Like, oh, just throw it in a mailbox and all of a sudden you're being tried for two deaths.

Roy Alex Gomez 9:08

Like, I I can I will go on record to say this now. I don't ever uh do those things as an adult, and nor do I condone that for other people to do either. Um I did so much of it when I was a kid, it was so much fun. But don't do it, don't do it today. It was the 90s. I know. Well, it was like uh late 2000s. Early 2000s? Early 2000s, like 2005.

Joseph Soto 9:31

I mean, yeah, sure, the internet wasn't everywhere, but yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 9:33

So that was the reason.

Joseph Soto 9:34

And there was no camera phone.

Roy Alex Gomez 9:36

And we didn't even have an actual uh cell phone that was smart. Maybe it had internet connection, but it wasn't like a smartphone. True.

Joseph Soto 9:44

It did there was no cell towers like every five feet.

Roy Alex Gomez 9:47

Razor flip phones were the rage at the time, yeah. And also, you know, blowing up somebody's name or some random nativity scene that you don't know.

Joseph Soto 9:55

Uh what else we got? Oh man, 4th of July, 3rd of July.

Roy Alex Gomez 10:00

You know what, dude? Like, okay, let's talk about we've talked about terrible remakes. True. Robocop.

Good Movie Remakes

Roy Alex Gomez 10:06

Yeah. Uh man, that was a bad one. There's so many, you know, you can name right off the bat of when it comes to remakes. Right. But what about the good ones? Name one. Okay. Name a good one. Okay. So, and these might be an acquired taste. Hit me with it. The mid-90s, 95, 96, 97. I'm with you. There was a span where they were coming out with remakes of old television television series. So you had the Brady Bunch movie. The Brady Bunch movie. You had the sequel to that, too.

Joseph Soto 10:41

Yeah, that's true. They didn't make two.

Roy Alex Gomez 10:43

And those are really good examples. Those are good. I mean, I mean, they take the source material seriously as far as as serious as you can take a Brady Bunch episode, which was never that that serious.

Joseph Soto 10:55

True. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Yeah, like I think those were good in I'll give you that. One was good. Two to me was like a little it was kind of tapering off.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:04

It is what it was. You know, it was just like an extended Brady Bunch, more, more, more material of that. Um, and yeah, I think at a certain point it definitely did run its course. But here's another one. Uh, the Beverly Hillbillies.

Joseph Soto 11:16

I was about to say, hold on, didn't they didn't they remake a Beverly Hillbillies?

Roy Alex Gomez 11:19

Yeah, dude. That is a slept-on movie as far as like good remakes.

Joseph Soto 11:24

It has it stars that guy. What's his name? He's like he's stereo he plays a stereotype, like, yeah, man, how you doing? Like, you know.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:31

You're talking about Ernest P. Warrell.

Joseph Soto 11:33

Well, he was in there too.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:34

Uh oh, yeah, that's for sure. Uh, what was his what's his real name?

Joseph Soto 11:38

Um Jim Varney. Jim Varney, there you go. Yeah, he's the OG.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:44

The legendary Jim Varney. No, there's a story we should talk about when it was. Dude, he played a great Jed Clampett. No, not Jed Clampett, Jed, or is it Jed Clampett?

Joseph Soto 11:55

Jed Clampett? No.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:56

No, no, no. I think it is Jed Clampett.

Joseph Soto 11:58

Jed.

Roy Alex Gomez 11:59

Yeah.

Joseph Soto 12:00

Well, the shotgun and everything.

Roy Alex Gomez 12:01

Because they had a cousin, Jethro, and then they had a daughter. Um, and then Grandma. I want to find out. And Grandma was played by uh Leichman. Laura Leachman from Young Frankenstein. Oh, we have a phone here.

Joseph Soto 12:17

We can Laura Leachman.

Roy Alex Gomez 12:20

Once you see her, you'll be like, oh yeah. She plays uh she was in Young Frankenstein. She was in a ton of Mel Brooks movies, too. But yeah, those are some really good remakes as far as like uh the 90s.

Joseph Soto 12:37

Um there you go. That's the dude. Which one is it? Oh uh he's he's uh he's like in every movie now. Like, well, not every movie. Uh Diedrich Bader.

Roy Alex Gomez 12:50

Diedrich Bader.

Joseph Soto 12:51

He played Jethro.

Roy Alex Gomez 12:53

Oh, yeah, of course.

Joseph Soto 12:55

And then uh Granny was Cloris Leechman.

Roy Alex Gomez 12:58

Clora Cloris Leachman. I said Laura Leechman, but I was close. He was close? Yeah. Um no, you're right. Dude, yeah, he's been in everything. He was in Napoleon Dynamite, he was in Office Space, he was in like a ton of other indie movies too. Dedrick, Dietrich, yeah. He was also on uh most famously, I think, the Drew Carey show. Miss Congeniality. I don't remember that one. But Miss Congeniality also. Yeah, he's he was been he did a lot of stuff.

Joseph Soto 13:24

I I liked him in that movie for some reason.

Roy Alex Gomez 13:26

Yeah. Yeah, so I I think as far as remake, good remakes, those are some good examples.

Joseph Soto 13:31

But you know why I think show was one of them, yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 13:33

I think the only reason why those remakes were even any good was because they did what they could with the source material without trying to make it something serious. Because it was never serious. You know, like when like let's say you compare it to maybe even the Robocop remake. Like the only reason why that one falls short is because it's trying to be its own thing when it's already like True. Why don't you just pay attention to the source? And that's kind I think those remakes are more or less like love letters to the uh actual series. Because I know they probably had caught on, we would have seen uh I love G or I Dream of Genie movie eventually. A bewitched movie, which was there was a bewitched movie. But that was a shitty one. Oh, fair. It was never really uh uh Nicole Kibman and Farrell, right? Which sounds like a recipe for success. But it wasn't. And it was actually Will Farrell's first uh box office failure. Yeah. Which is crazy to believe because I mean after that he had such an amazing career, but I'm singing. It's in one of those, it's see that's one of the that's one of the same um examples where like if they had just taken the source material more seriously, and not serious as in we need to make it serious, but as in this is what it is. We just need to be above mediocre. Right. Like we know where the bar is, we just need to be better than that bar and kind of retain the same heart.

Joseph Soto 15:07

Oh, what else is there? Dude, leave it to Beaver. Leave it to Beaver. Was that not a good remake?

Roy Alex Gomez 15:11

Like, that was a great remake for what it was, you know?

Joseph Soto 15:15

I mean, it sure, it stars the kid from Brink. Mm-hmm. I forget his name.

Roy Alex Gomez 15:20

Yeah, that's right. The kid with the the hair parted right in the middle. Skateboard kid the wing, the winged hair style from the 90s. Where he just had your hair flopping out from the sides like 1997.

Joseph Soto 15:36

Uh what was his name? Eric Vondten.

Roy Alex Gomez 15:40

Oh, yeah, he's in so many movies.

Joseph Soto 15:42

Uh and don't forget, the father, Christopher uh McDonald.

Roy Alex Gomez 15:45

Dude, that's uh what's his name from Sheer McGavin. There you go, happy Gilmore. Ha ha. Boys that was the famous movie. And that was another movie that I thought like did really well, but because they took the source material like not serious, but they didn't like disregard it for what it actually was and why they were doing it.

Joseph Soto 16:07

I mean, I will admit the story was was good. They tried to it was like what?

Roy Alex Gomez 16:12

It was kind of like watching an episode of Leave It to Beaver. Yeah, you know?

Joseph Soto 16:15

Like two in one.

Roy Alex Gomez 16:16

Yeah, a couple episodes mashed up and together.

Joseph Soto 16:18

And see, that's those are writers that knew the source material. That's what I'm saying. Let's borrow from here, we'll take from here, we'll add this, and we'll cross breed this and that. But it was fun. The whole coffee cup scene. I know, yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 16:29

No coffee in here. Yeah, where he has to like climb in there in order to get something.

Joseph Soto 16:34

And I gotta admit, uh, when Family Guy did it 15 years later, it was a pretty good funny episode.

Roy Alex Gomez 16:41

But yeah, those are some good examples of like remakes that worked, but because they, you know, I think they kind of just I know it's not a remake, but there was also a movie that came out in the same year in '97.

Joseph Soto 16:54

Kurt Russell's Soldier.

Roy Alex Gomez 16:56

Oh, you're right. Soldier was a remake of Oh no, not. It was a sequel to um. I forget what movie, but it was a sequel. Soldier was a sequel to a movie? Yeah. Kurt Russell Soldier. It was a sequel to another movie. I don't remember the movie, but if you type it in, you'll or look it up, Google it. A Soldier sequel to, and then it'll come up as like. No way. Yeah, I forget what movie. And I want to say something crazy, like even Blade Runner or something like that. Sequel. And I know it's not Blade Runner, but it's like in the same universe uh as some of one of those iconic franchises.

Joseph Soto 17:38

Oh, sorry. It was a 1998 movie, but still 90s. It doesn't say I'm I'm looking for it, but it is a sequel to another movie.

Roy Alex Gomez 17:50

And it has a lot, and then like once you I never connected it, but then I'm like, oh, that does make sense because they kind of follow the same idea, I guess, with the whole, like, because they're supposed to be like modified or genetically engineered humans that they turn into soldiers or something.

Joseph Soto 18:08

You're right. You were absolutely right. It is a sequel to Blade Runner.

Roy Alex Gomez 18:12

Oh.

Joseph Soto 18:13

Soldier is considered a sequel to Blade Runner in terms of theme uh thematic connections. And the same screenwriters.

Roy Alex Gomez 18:20

Mm-hmm. Wow. That's why I was like, it makes more sense when you really understand the connection. And I I knew it was kind of connected to what something I knew it was sci-fi for sure.

Joseph Soto 18:33

So Blade Run, well, you do understand that Blade Runner may also be connected to the alien universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole Wayland.

Roy Alex Gomez 18:39

But I think that's uh stretch. It's just a cameo, I think. Like there is uh a car that one of the police cruisers from Blade Runner does make an appearance in part two.

Joseph Soto 18:48

Like a Delonio, yeah, DeLorean.

Roy Alex Gomez 18:50

No, well in part two, it's like a hover, it's one of those hovering, it's a hoverboard one where they find uh what's her name in the future, and she's kind of like suffering

Time Travel

Roy Alex Gomez 19:01

amnesia. Not amnesia, but she kind of like uh faints, and then the cops find her, and the cop car that drops her off is a cop car from Blade Runner. Wow. Yeah. But it's painted like a cop car.

Joseph Soto 19:18

Maybe it's just a borrowed set piece, maybe you never know.

Roy Alex Gomez 19:21

Probably, but yeah, I know that was like one of those cameos where they're like uh props that showed up in other movies or something like that.

Joseph Soto 19:26

Well, that wouldn't make sense. Because remember, they're fractured timelines. That's also true. They're fractured timelines, and I I like to follow the whole, you know. Maybe maybe they did. Maybe him going back to the past created alternate universes. Soldier, Blade Runner.

Roy Alex Gomez 19:40

And if you really think about those sorts of time travel, I guess, like when it comes to um like let's say comparing it not comparing, but um similar to like Back to the Future and uh uh what's it called? Um that other time travel movie we never fuck fucking shut the fuck up about. Terminator one and two.

Joseph Soto 20:04

Um dude, that though those are those are topics that can go for hours.

Roy Alex Gomez 20:08

I know.

Speaker 2 20:09

Uh and we'll just bore everybody.

Roy Alex Gomez 20:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:13

This is where we nerd out the most, and we're like, we'll just create a start talking about time travel. We'll we'll just fracture our own podcasting not suitable for timelines.

Roy Alex Gomez 20:21

But if you think about those movies, those movies are probably what you would see the second run of whatever timeline exists, because the first timeline would have a complete run through without like any actual interference, right?

Speaker 2 20:35

Yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 20:35

So let's say if there was a timeline, let's say uh in Terminator, in in the Terminator aspect, uh there's a whole timeline where there the Terminators hadn't figured out time travel. I believe it.

Speaker 2 20:49

And the war didn't last long.

Roy Alex Gomez 20:50

And then the the I guess the time that we're exposed to in the movie is like the result of it happening but uh the second time. Because it's already time is already you know, it it's already they've already accomplished whatever they were gonna accomplish, and then the only reason why that time travel exists in that because it was broken. Because they wanted to yeah, they wanted to correct or at least defeat them bef without them being able to defend themselves, you know, so the only way to do that is to kind of like destroy whatever was leading the resistance, which was John Connor. Um but then that means in the first timeline, John Connor's dad is just a regular dude. A regular dude, yeah. No Kyle Reese. And then the only reason why that even is a thing in the in the actual, I guess, timeline we're we're watching in Terminator is because the original timeline has been skewed because they've discovered time travel and they've sent back a Terminator, which means that now they have to do the Same thing, but since they do that, it fucks with all of the uh events that originally happened in the first timeline, meaning that it starts a brand new like time. You know, like it's it still might lead to a similar uh you know, like I guess end result where there might have been a judgment day, or you could maybe even like it.

Speaker 2 22:22

In a way, it's kind of like uh that episode from Rick and Morty where uh they're trying to correct it by just letting it run its course. And they show you in the episode where there's like thousands of iterations and iterations of iterations. Trying to save and fight, save and fight, save and fight until it reaches like uh an amplitude point. And then that's when Rick and Morty step in and they go back in time to officially erase what they did. Yeah, restore the original timeline. It's very interesting.

Roy Alex Gomez 22:53

Because I think the only way to actually restore an original timeline is just for it to let let it play out the way that it is without any interference, because whatever you uh do wind up interfering with, whether or not it it's successful, like including introducing time travel into a universe where it didn't exist, also implements all these additional fractures. Yeah. I would say fractures. Like where you kind of split off into a new timeline because in the original that never existed.

Speaker 2 23:20

Yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 23:22

It is kind of odd to even wrap your mind around. No, this is a brain buster.

Speaker 2 23:26

I'm trying to try to run.

Roy Alex Gomez 23:27

And again, we always come back to Terminator fucking.

Speaker 2 23:30

Because it's it's the one.

Roy Alex Gomez 23:33

I guess what we're trying to eventually get to is how to figure out how to time travel. Yeah, that's what we want to do.

Speaker 2 23:37

We want to time travel. And then do, bed, big money, baby. Big money.

Roy Alex Gomez 23:42

I've told you, I think in the future, uh time travel or no vacation destinations will be time travels, yeah. And it won't even be it won't be considered a vacation destination, it'll be considered a time destination. So wherever you want, you know, you'd be like, oh, I want to visit what 1992 summer felt like. And the only way you could was because there's somebody that they could swap you out with where you'd have to kind of follow that person's life in order not to really disrupt you know it's ironic we're talking about this because last night I couldn't sleep and I started reading Reddit Reddit timeline stuff.

Speaker 2 24:18

And there was a story that caught my eye where this person takes uh the metro every day to go to work. And then one day, you know how the destination says on the front? Well, it said uh September something to 1999. And the person that got on the bus asked the bus driver, hey man, that sign says, you know, September blah blah 1999. Yeah, that's where we're going. And then everything outside looked different. And the the person went into detail, and I'm reading and I'm reading this, I'm like, you actually may have walked into a time, uh, what do they call a temporal distortion where you slightly vibrate into a different timeline for just a moment or two, witness your surroundings, and then vibrate back into your own timeline. And it's a pretty interesting story. I was like, wow, this is detailed, this is really detailed. Wow. This person remembered the streets, they looked very different, the cars were all 90s style, you know, the old squared headlights, box type vehicles, and then when they got off of their destination, they looked back at the bus, it said the stop that they were supposed to go. It's like it's just a weird temporal distortion that I guess this person experienced.

Roy Alex Gomez 25:25

Right, yeah. Interesting stuff, too.

Speaker 2 25:27

And it was a really good story.

Roy Alex Gomez 25:30

Uh and we can go on and on about time. Yeah, we can go on. We can go on. Well, we just start to uh go off on tangents, I think, eventually.

Speaker 2 25:38

How about that flash?

Roy Alex Gomez 25:40

Now time for superheroes.

A Little Pause

Roy Alex Gomez 25:46

Oh man. What uh maybe we take a little pause real quick. We'll take a pause, yeah? We'll take a pause. And uh we're back. We're back. Little break. Terrible segue. Pretty bad. There's no we weren't we didn't go anywhere, folks. We've been here this entire time.

Speaker 2 26:08

We were just here this whole time, just uh shooting shit, talking, talking about our favorite uh, you know, favorite eats.

Roy Alex Gomez 26:14

That's right. Um but you did mention something earlier, uh, once we got off the subject finally of uh time travel.

Speaker 2 26:23

Yeah, I was reading about uh professional uh professional cuddling. Professional cuddling. Yeah. There that is an actual

Professional Cuddling

Speaker 2 26:30

profession now. And people take it very seriously. I bet. You know, like you know, you're getting paid top dollar to be a professional cuddler.

Roy Alex Gomez 26:37

Right. To have to hold some weirdo that needs affection. But I get it. It's 2026. People have these, you know, little crank. Well, there is a movie kind of coming out like that, isn't there? But it's not, I guess, uh cuddling necessarily, but that whole Brendan Fraser movie where they hire him to be like a dad or something. Or not a dad, but like a family member. Sort of like a best friend sometimes.

Speaker 2 27:04

Okay, but don't know about that.

Roy Alex Gomez 27:06

Yeah, there was a movie, I don't remember the name of it, but it was uh Brendan Fraser movie that didn't come out too long ago. If it hasn't come out yet, it came out maybe within the last year, but it's about uh him living in Japan and working as a professional like friend.

Speaker 2 27:27

A professional friend?

Roy Alex Gomez 27:28

Yeah. And this and it it is a regular thing that they do in Japan, but they'll like hire them. Oh, they'll hire them out and he does whatever they kind of want to do. Sometimes it's like watch a movie, eat some food.

Speaker 2 27:41

Oh, I think you know what? It does ring a bell. I'm seeing images flash on my head. I think I've seen the trailer. But it gets he gets very emotional.

Roy Alex Gomez 27:48

In some things, I guess he gets really involved in it too, you know, like invested. And I can see why. You're you're if you're making that connection with somebody, you eventually want to be like Involved. Right. Yeah. So I guess the normal person would actually That's cool. Maybe f try and figure out the.

Speaker 2 28:07

I mean cool in the sense, like I didn't know there was a movie until like it flashed in my head and I'm remembering the images and yeah. I mean, we're human, you know, like the moment someone touches us, we get, you know, very our endorphins go crazy, our serotonin goes wild, and you know, we we want more than a connection, you know, we want uh normal talk conversations, you know, stuff. Oh, but yeah. Yeah, talking about talking about uh professional cuddles. How about those professional misconnections?

Roy Alex Gomez 28:43

Oh yeah, people who want the cuddles that they can't that they

Craigslist Missed Connections

Roy Alex Gomez 28:46

can't actually uh seal that deal in person, so they come professionally clean my pipe. They resort to missing connections and then having to tell the internet about it. And you know what? That's a good segue. We're gonna segue right into our most famous and I think most requested segue. That's right. It's been quite a while since we've been doing missed connections. I think our last podcasts consecutively were maybe like months apart. So uh you're getting fresh misconnections. That's right, folks. Uh Joseph, would you like to I'll start us out, yeah. Um okay. Whenever you're ready, baby.

Speaker 2 29:29

All right. M for female. Harling, Texas. Looking for older 50 plus, looking for touching cuddles, and so on. Contact me. Don't be crazy. Be relatively in shape, please. Yeah. Uh good luck with that.

Roy Alex Gomez 29:52

You'll probably. Okay. Our next one comes all the way out from a street called Oak Hill. Older woman at Dollar Tree this afternoon. I passed you in the store a few times, and was behind you in the checkout line. You are very beautiful and gorgeous. You had a white and black sleeveless top, black pants, probably around, I don't know, age 60. I should have said hi. I was walking out, and I think you were in a white Kia SUV. Hopefully you see this. I'm 40 male, and I was wearing a gray hat. See, now that's a misconnection if I've ever seen one.

Speaker 2 30:49

Yeah, that is a misconnection. Yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 30:51

Out of Oakel! Oh tree. You saw this guy with the gray hat and you are 60 years old. Yeah, you saw this guy with a gray hat and you were 60 years old. I didn't know what he approached.

Speaker 2 31:17

Oh, that was a good one. That's a rule to disconnection. Yeah. Oh kill, right?

Roy Alex Gomez 31:27

That was okay. But yeah, this uh he did not actually reach out to this person at all. He just passed by them. And I don't even know if they said hello to each other. He said he should have said hi, but he didn't.

Speaker 2 31:44

There's a lot of those.

Roy Alex Gomez 31:45

There's gonna be so many more of them. Yeah. People who wish they took that chance and didn't.

Speaker 2 31:50

You know what? Just take the chance. Trust me, there's times where I wish I took the chance. Hello.

Roy Alex Gomez 31:54

I mean, you probably won't take every chance. But what you know what would uh what would hurt in actually taking that chance? I guess maybe rejection. Rejection, yeah. A little bit of one, if any of it's a little bit of those ten points might the most important thing. Yeah, a rejection, and nobody wants to exactly. What's what's the worst that they can say besides no? Oh fuck off creep. Fuck no. It's a hard fuck no. Why'd you have to say it with so much emphasis? Why?

Speaker 2 32:29

That's stupid. That's crazy, that's it. I know. Alright, well, what else do we got here?

Roy Alex Gomez 32:35

We got one more? Uh we got maybe. I guess we could do one more each. Yeah, one more each.

Speaker 2 32:41

Let's do that. Yeah. This uh out of San Antonio, Texas. Walmart Naco. I that's how it says. Thousand Oaks. I know you'll never see this, but you're absolutely stunning. And I would give anything to have that gorgeous smile be the first thing I see again. I wake up every day. Right? That's what he says. Yeah. Tell me where in the store my baby boy spoke to you. And what he said when he saw you again just before we all checked out. Thank you for making a smile. I meant what I said about your hair. I don't think you mentioned anything about his hair.

Roy Alex Gomez 33:28

Must be like an inside thing. An inside thing, yeah.

Speaker 2 33:32

There's gonna be a lot of that too. Those are strong words.

Roy Alex Gomez 33:35

Absolutely stunning smile. Oh man. Um this next one is actually from Westlico, Texas. And I think uh it's going to be appropriate with this the same song because it sounds kind of steamy. And this one, since uh Bert's not here, this one's all in Spanish. Spanish? Oh, here we go. And I'll be reading this one. Okay. Muy buena onda.

unknown 35:02

Yeah.

Roy Alex Gomez 35:04

That's Weslico, Texas. Westlico, Texas. If I'm not mistaken, this lady wants to fuck another lady. Scissor. Scissor me timbers. Scissor me timbers. Oh man. Oh god. Did you want to do one more and then we call it? Uh or you think that's enough for the the likes of these listeners. Well, I think they're bored.

Speaker 2 35:30

Especially if they were driving. Oh God. What a what a dragger today. I don't I mean, maybe. I don't know. They can't all be done.

Roy Alex Gomez 35:39

Yeah, we're gonna have to we're gonna have to uh struggle through some of these with you. We can uh it just is what it is. We can uh yeah, we can do one more. You know what? I want Joseph to read one in Spanish. In Espanol? Yeah, it'll be uh easy enough, I think.

Speaker 2 36:06

Alright. Alright, I'm gonna read one here. Coming all the way from Fire.

Roy Alex Gomez 36:12

Yeah, that's right. It'll be our last round of misconnections.

Speaker 2 36:14

Last round of misconnections.

Roy Alex Gomez 36:17

Alright, she's all yours, Joseph.

Speaker 2 36:20

Yeah. Here we go again. This is from Far. Disblock Pipas. Buscando Paipo Pipa Madura para limpiar in two luggage. I don't know what I just read.

Roy Alex Gomez 36:48

Let me see that again so I think I'll translate for Joseph. Uh this bloquear pipes means uh this person's looking to unclog some pipes. Um and they're looking to clean pipes for anybody around 30 to 50 years old.

Speaker 2 37:09

Uh I kind of figured I was uh that's what I was reading.

Roy Alex Gomez 37:12

Yeah, one of those classic misconnections, huh? We were waiting for one, and there we go.

Speaker 2 37:17

Buscando pipa.

Roy Alex Gomez 37:19

Beautiful. I was glad we finally got one of those really some consecutive really disgusting ones. Uh, I know.

Speaker 2 37:28

Buscando pipa.

Roy Alex Gomez 37:30

Um we do have I have one last one, and I think we're gonna end our Craigslistmas connection on this one. We're gonna do it. Uh okay, so this one comes out of Arizona. No, okay. No, this one is Spring, Texas, probably someplace close to Houston.

Speaker 2 37:49

Yeah, it sounds about right.

Roy Alex Gomez 37:50

We had to source from out of town because it's also Texas and uh people aren't using it as much anymore. But here we go. Here we go. I saw you at the gas station. Spring, Texas. I was in the gas station at 45 Feder Road and happened to accidentally bump into you. A bombshell of the blood. I was it was completely by accident, but when you looked up at me, your face flushed red, and you stammered out an apology. Wish I had gotten your name and your number. I don't know if you'll see this, but here's hope. Spring, Texas.

Speaker 2 38:43

Wow. That is actually a real misconnection.

Roy Alex Gomez 38:46

Yeah, that's another misconnection.

Speaker 2 38:48

Flushed red? Yeah, no, there was a connection there.

Roy Alex Gomez 38:51

You know what I've noticed about the pattern with misconnections uh recently is that it's like a 50-50 now. It's 50 hardcore erotic. Piper! Yeah, and then the other uh 50 is now genuine misconnections when it used to be like 90% erotic and 10% misconnected. Look at the clean pipes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 39:11

I'll never forget that one story that uh was a bird I read. Uh cleaning pipes and something about shitting on the stairwell.

Roy Alex Gomez 39:18

Oh, yeah, New York City, classic. Something like that.

Speaker 2 39:21

And that that story stuck with the former.

Roy Alex Gomez 39:23

We'll have to do another world tour if uh we gotta do a world tour.

Speaker 2 39:26

No, it is demanding.

Roy Alex Gomez 39:28

Yeah, if these uh aren't, I guess, as uh frequent as we need them to be, we'll probably have to go and source out from other states too eventually.

Speaker 2 39:36

But I think world tour.

Plugs and Outro

Speaker 2 39:41

And that's uh Craigslist misconnections.

Roy Alex Gomez 39:46

I guess we can wind her down. Joseph, uh, where can they follow you?

Speaker 2 39:50

Winder. Sorry. Uh you guys can find me at uh Joseph Soto Comedy, Instagram, I want to say Twitter, but Twitter's gone. She's never coming back. It's X. Um you can also find me on uh Facebook. Threads, I guess. Do we does anyone use threads?

Roy Alex Gomez 40:08

People use threads. I use threads.

Speaker 2 40:09

I think it's like an official dating kind of thing now. Threads? Yeah. Interesting. I've seen a lot of uh scams hit me up. Hey, help me out. $20. You help one person and all of a sudden you gotta feed all the scrapcats. But yeah, you guys can find me there on um and we got some shows coming up. I just don't know.

Roy Alex Gomez 40:29

We do July 11th. The 11th? Um at the hop shop. Hop shop, yes. July 18th at the hop shop.

Speaker 2 40:38

July 18th at the hop shop.

Roy Alex Gomez 40:39

Uh July 30th at Mustangs Lounge.

Speaker 2 40:42

Mustang Lounge.

Roy Alex Gomez 40:43

I'll be co-headlining with Anthony Nino on that one. And the rest of the lineup hasn't been announced, but keep uh followed by buddy Tommy Walters.

Speaker 2 40:53

Tommy!

Roy Alex Gomez 40:54

Yeah, he'll have that lineup ready for you all. Um let's see what else we got going on. We do have some other shows coming up July 25th, I believe, at Selfies and More Studios.

Speaker 41:04

Selfies and More.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:06

Hosted by uh Ben Briones.

Speaker 2 41:08

Mr. Ben Brionez.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:10

That's right, man. I'm really proud of all these people. Hector.

Speaker 2 41:13

Hector Chapa.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:14

Hector Chapa recently hosted us at uh the Farr Lone Star Theater. Lone Star Theater. And he did a fantastic job doing all that stuff too, man.

Speaker 2 41:23

Who else? We got John Andrew.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:26

Oh, speaking of Hector, Hector will be hosting July 18th at the hop shop.

Speaker 2 41:32

The hopshop.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:33

That's right. It builds their it builds character. It is one of those tough crowds. I know. John Andrew actually hosted the last show, and there is something that we say about every hopshop show. Uh it's probably going to be like 80% likely that it's going to be a disaster.

Speaker 2 41:55

If someone's not throwing up before a show.

Roy Alex Gomez 41:57

Yeah. I mean, we've gotten really lucky lately where it's like show after show has been really good show. Hit after hit. Um and not that the place is bad for comedy. It's just that, you know, you have people who um are regulars and they want to drink. Yeah. They don't care for the comedy.

Speaker 2 42:20

Yeah, they will drink and drink and drink. And they will randomly, hey, can you say something funny? That's right.

Roy Alex Gomez 42:27

Uh famous bar flight animal. Yeah. That guy always has something to advise us against somehow, always kind of getting after us for some reason.

Speaker 2 42:35

But then uh he scared me the first time he called him to me.

Roy Alex Gomez 42:39

The Mexican Mickey Rourke.

Speaker 2 42:41

I would tell you. That's not even Mickey Rourke. But yeah, no, uh Roy, where can they find you?

Roy Alex Gomez 42:49

Oh, you can find me at Roy Gomez Comedy at uh Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, threads. Uh, and I think Library of Congress. Library of Congress.

Speaker 2 43:03

Um Capitol Hill. No, I'm kidding.

Roy Alex Gomez 43:07

My old uh what was that? Penguins.

Speaker 2 43:12

Uh what?

Roy Alex Gomez 43:14

Uh uh these references people understand. I don't fucking does anyone even know what Mindspace was?

Speaker 2 43:18

I don't think so. No, nobody knows.

Roy Alex Gomez 43:20

But you can follow me on all those platforms. Oh, and uh recall to productions on YouTube and TikTok. TikTok. That's right. You can find clips of what we do on those two platforms for show and I think that's about it.

Speaker 2 43:34

That's about it. Yeah. Thanks for listening, guys. Yeah. Thanks for sticking around.

Roy Alex Gomez 43:39

Tune in.

Speaker 2 43:40

Tuning in. This isn't a radio station, but I like it though. That I think that's one of those old phrases that's just gonna slowly dwindle away.

Roy Alex Gomez 43:48

Tune in. Tune in next time.

Speaker 2 43:51

Is this the end for our superheroes? Same recalled channel. Recalled channel? Tune in next week to find out.

Roy Alex Gomez 43:57

If recalled pass find out which recalled member has AIDS.

Speaker 2 44:04

Oh no.

Roy Alex Gomez 44:07

It's all three of them. Let's finish up everybody.

Speaker 2 44:10

Guys, thank you very much. Have a good one. Drive safe. Don't handle heavier machinery.

Roy Alex Gomez 44:21

This has been a recall production. Goodbye.