{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":33.8,"endTime":36.169999999999995,"body":"Hello and welcome"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":33.8,"endTime":36.169999999999995,"body":"to another episode of Gender"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":36.169999999999995,"endTime":40.73,"body":"Stories. I know I'm always"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":36.169999999999995,"endTime":40.73,"body":"excited, but I am delighted to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":40.73,"endTime":46.129999999999995,"body":"be interviewing a compatriot, I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":40.73,"endTime":46.129999999999995,"body":"think the word is, Italian."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":46.22,"endTime":50.56999999999999,"body":"Nicoz Balboa is an Italian"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":46.22,"endTime":50.56999999999999,"body":"visual artist, using his life"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":50.56999999999999,"endTime":55.459999999999994,"body":"events as inspiration for works"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":50.56999999999999,"endTime":55.459999999999994,"body":"ranging from painting, drawing,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":55.67,"endTime":60.26,"body":"tattoo, to pyrography, graphic"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":55.67,"endTime":60.26,"body":"journal and sketchbook. He"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":60.26,"endTime":63.8,"body":"reveals his hopes, failures and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":60.26,"endTime":63.8,"body":"successes in candid and, at"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":63.8,"endTime":67.97,"body":"times, excoriating work that is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":63.8,"endTime":67.97,"body":"frequently both tragic and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":67.97,"endTime":71.50999999999999,"body":"humorous. The themes of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":67.97,"endTime":71.50999999999999,"body":"provocation and sexuality"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":71.50999999999999,"endTime":75.62,"body":"repeatedly surface in Nicoz’s"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":71.50999999999999,"endTime":75.62,"body":"work, as his oeuvre is firmly"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":75.62,"endTime":78.77,"body":"rooted in the tradition of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":75.62,"endTime":78.77,"body":"transfeminist discourse."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":79.03999999999999,"endTime":85.22,"body":"Bienvenido Nicoz, finalmente we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":79.03999999999999,"endTime":85.22,"body":"finally meet after interacting"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":85.22,"endTime":86.84,"body":"online, it's so good to see you."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":87.59,"endTime":92.75,"body":"For me, it's like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":87.59,"endTime":92.75,"body":"as my if my daughter today were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":92.75,"endTime":97.4,"body":"meeting Taylor Swift for me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":92.75,"endTime":97.4,"body":"today meeting you it's the same."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":98.42,"endTime":99.67999999999999,"body":"Sono molto felice!"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":100.97,"endTime":104.84,"body":"Wow. I mean, that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":100.97,"endTime":104.84,"body":"is high compliment. As somebody"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":104.84,"endTime":108.02,"body":"who also has a daughter was the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":104.84,"endTime":108.02,"body":"Swifty. I feel like that's a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":108.02,"endTime":114.11,"body":"very, very high compliment."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":108.02,"endTime":114.11,"body":"Thank you. Yes, well, I feel the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":114.11,"endTime":118.7,"body":"same. I love your beautiful"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":114.11,"endTime":118.7,"body":"work. I think you know, your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":118.7,"endTime":122.78,"body":"beautiful art, your books, which"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":118.7,"endTime":122.78,"body":"really have a lot of your own"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":122.78,"endTime":126.47,"body":"journey. Right? Your graphic"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":122.78,"endTime":126.47,"body":"novels? I don't know, would you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":126.47,"endTime":128.93,"body":"call them a graphic novel"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":126.47,"endTime":128.93,"body":"graphic memoir."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":130.01,"endTime":135.89,"body":"I, I, I call it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":130.01,"endTime":135.89,"body":"maybe graphic novels in the more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":135.92000000000002,"endTime":140.32999999999998,"body":"broad way. And sometimes, at"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":135.92000000000002,"endTime":140.32999999999998,"body":"least in Italian, I say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":140.6,"endTime":147.82999999999998,"body":"autofiction. Maybe graphic"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":140.6,"endTime":147.82999999999998,"body":"memoir in English, I guess it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":147.82999999999998,"endTime":149.95999999999998,"body":"fits. And yes."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":150.76999999999998,"endTime":153.56,"body":"Yeah, you have"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":150.76999999999998,"endTime":153.56,"body":"some beautiful two beautiful"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":153.56,"endTime":158.06,"body":"graphic memoirs are out, right,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":153.56,"endTime":158.06,"body":"the second one is out, too. And"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":158.06,"endTime":163.19,"body":"so I'm really excited. Tell me"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":158.06,"endTime":163.19,"body":"more about why a graphic memoir,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":163.21999999999997,"endTime":166.82,"body":"you're very open about your own"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":163.21999999999997,"endTime":166.82,"body":"journey. What inspired you to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":166.82,"endTime":169.82,"body":"pull it all together into a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":166.82,"endTime":169.82,"body":"graphic memoir?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":172.32,"endTime":179.33999999999997,"body":"I guess, some"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":172.32,"endTime":179.33999999999997,"body":"egoistic wheel of seeing the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":179.33999999999997,"endTime":188.07,"body":"story was being told to read the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":179.33999999999997,"endTime":188.07,"body":"book that I maybe would have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":188.07,"endTime":193.5,"body":"liked to read before I started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":188.07,"endTime":193.5,"body":"my transition before we even"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":193.56,"endTime":201.32999999999998,"body":"started my questioning. And so I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":193.56,"endTime":201.32999999999998,"body":"always did some auto"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":201.57,"endTime":206.10000000000002,"body":"biographical. I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":201.57,"endTime":206.10000000000002,"body":"it's the right word. That's the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":206.10000000000002,"endTime":212.25,"body":"right word. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":206.10000000000002,"endTime":212.25,"body":"Autobiographical work, sorry,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":213.39,"endTime":220.07999999999998,"body":"since forever. But maybe the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":213.39,"endTime":220.07999999999998,"body":"thing is that has changed for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":221.04000000000002,"endTime":226.2,"body":"Play With Fire. And then for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":221.04000000000002,"endTime":226.2,"body":"transformer. It was that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":226.2,"endTime":231.0,"body":"wanted to tell my story, to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":226.2,"endTime":231.0,"body":"repair something for myself. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":231.0,"endTime":235.98000000000002,"body":"in the meantime, I also wanted"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":231.0,"endTime":235.98000000000002,"body":"to talk about those things that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":235.98000000000002,"endTime":241.68,"body":"I felt that I learned that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":235.98000000000002,"endTime":241.68,"body":"discovered that I been in touch"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":241.68,"endTime":249.57,"body":"or observations of while I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":241.68,"endTime":249.57,"body":"questioning my sexuality, and my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":249.57,"endTime":256.68,"body":"gender and my identity. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":249.57,"endTime":256.68,"body":"guess that a little bit more in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":256.71,"endTime":261.45,"body":"each book. And hopefully also in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":256.71,"endTime":261.45,"body":"the this one I'm doing right"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":261.45,"endTime":271.8,"body":"now. I wanted to mix. A story."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":261.45,"endTime":271.8,"body":"But also I was thinking about if"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":271.86,"endTime":277.98,"body":"somebody that has this book and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":271.86,"endTime":277.98,"body":"read the story, but never add a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":277.98,"endTime":284.46,"body":"meeting, a connection with a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":277.98,"endTime":284.46,"body":"queer person. I would like this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":284.46,"endTime":291.48,"body":"person also to be taken on the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":284.46,"endTime":291.48,"body":"journey of understanding the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":291.48,"endTime":296.97,"body":"story and understanding what was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":291.48,"endTime":296.97,"body":"I was talking about."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":298.34000000000003,"endTime":301.73,"body":"I love that and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":298.34000000000003,"endTime":301.73,"body":"I'm so grateful for your stories"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":301.73,"endTime":306.23,"body":"because I think for me, I've"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":301.73,"endTime":306.23,"body":"read a lot of memoirs of trans"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":306.23,"endTime":311.54,"body":"people mostly in English in for"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":306.23,"endTime":311.54,"body":"me with your stories. There was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":311.54,"endTime":315.17,"body":"a it was like a visceral"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":311.54,"endTime":315.17,"body":"connection, because it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":315.17,"endTime":318.77000000000004,"body":"just about gender. But"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":315.17,"endTime":318.77000000000004,"body":"culturally, it felt so much"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":318.77000000000004,"endTime":322.37,"body":"closer to my experience. My"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":318.77000000000004,"endTime":322.37,"body":"heart were also mean you're a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":322.37,"endTime":325.13,"body":"little bit younger than me but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":322.37,"endTime":325.13,"body":"were the same generations"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":325.13,"endTime":329.42,"body":"brought up in Italy. And so for"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":325.13,"endTime":329.42,"body":"me, that was something that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":329.84000000000003,"endTime":333.89,"body":"like, you know, I got goose"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":329.84000000000003,"endTime":333.89,"body":"bumps even thinking about it. I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":333.89,"endTime":338.18,"body":"was like, Oh, this feels so much"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":333.89,"endTime":338.18,"body":"closer to my soul. That's the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":338.18,"endTime":341.27000000000004,"body":"best way I can describe it."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":338.18,"endTime":341.27000000000004,"body":"Because there is the cultural"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":341.3,"endTime":345.44,"body":"element that I think also, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":341.3,"endTime":345.44,"body":"know, we experienced gender"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":345.44,"endTime":348.17,"body":"through language through"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":345.44,"endTime":348.17,"body":"culture. And so for me, it was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":348.17,"endTime":352.31,"body":"so important to see a story that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":348.17,"endTime":352.31,"body":"felt so much closer to my own"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":352.31,"endTime":355.34000000000003,"body":"experience, my own way of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":352.31,"endTime":355.34000000000003,"body":"thinking, my own emotions. Does"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":355.34000000000003,"endTime":357.95,"body":"that make sense? I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":355.34000000000003,"endTime":357.95,"body":"you've got that feedback from"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":357.95,"endTime":359.18,"body":"other people too. But"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":358.8,"endTime":364.53000000000003,"body":"I guess it makes"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":358.8,"endTime":364.53000000000003,"body":"totally sense because I, I live"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":364.53000000000003,"endTime":369.99,"body":"in France. And I've been living"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":364.53000000000003,"endTime":369.99,"body":"here for 20. We said before 23"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":371.04,"endTime":379.62,"body":"years. And I realize that there"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":371.04,"endTime":379.62,"body":"is, even though in the in even"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":379.62,"endTime":386.49,"body":"in the same community, cultural"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":379.62,"endTime":386.49,"body":"origins, make also the way you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":386.49,"endTime":393.39,"body":"approach certain things"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":386.49,"endTime":393.39,"body":"differently. And so, while they"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":393.39,"endTime":397.62,"body":"see, for example, in my work for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":393.39,"endTime":397.62,"body":"my book of Playing With Fire,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":397.62,"endTime":403.86,"body":"which is the first one of this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":397.62,"endTime":403.86,"body":"series that has been translated"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":403.86,"endTime":411.96000000000004,"body":"in France, and I realize that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":403.86,"endTime":411.96000000000004,"body":"there is a different way of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":411.96000000000004,"endTime":416.25,"body":"talking about things, I guess"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":411.96000000000004,"endTime":416.25,"body":"that in Italy, I don't know why."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":416.25,"endTime":419.40000000000003,"body":"But sometimes we are a little"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":416.25,"endTime":419.40000000000003,"body":"bit more elastic, a little bit"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":419.40000000000003,"endTime":423.24,"body":"more like, especially maybe we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":419.40000000000003,"endTime":423.24,"body":"are from Rome. So we're like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":423.48,"endTime":431.94,"body":"oh, whatever, whatever. And so,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":423.48,"endTime":431.94,"body":"sometimes, it can be a curse or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":431.94,"endTime":436.44,"body":"a gift. Because when I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":431.94,"endTime":436.44,"body":"telling this story, I realized"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":436.44,"endTime":442.59000000000003,"body":"that for some things, they may"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":436.44,"endTime":442.59000000000003,"body":"be the fact of being Roman and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":442.62,"endTime":448.44,"body":"ebbing, this wherever that can"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":442.62,"endTime":448.44,"body":"be translated, maybe can say a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":448.44,"endTime":452.7,"body":"curse word on you can yes, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":448.44,"endTime":452.7,"body":"can. This is the famous \"sti"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":452.7,"endTime":457.62,"body":"cazzi\". See, this is like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":452.7,"endTime":457.62,"body":"Roman way. So like, I feel these"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":457.62,"endTime":461.19,"body":"but whatever or I want to change"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":457.62,"endTime":461.19,"body":"this, but other there is sun, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":461.19,"endTime":466.38,"body":"don't care to change. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":461.19,"endTime":466.38,"body":"sometimes it can be cool. But"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":466.38,"endTime":471.33,"body":"also like it, it's more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":466.38,"endTime":471.33,"body":"difficult to analyze things"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":471.36,"endTime":478.98,"body":"because it's more sti cazzi. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":471.36,"endTime":478.98,"body":"so I wanted to keep this sorry,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":478.98,"endTime":487.08,"body":"my English, to keep this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":478.98,"endTime":487.08,"body":"lightness, this. Being lighter,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":487.11,"endTime":491.79,"body":"being elastic of the Roman way"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":487.11,"endTime":491.79,"body":"of thinking and or telling the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":491.79,"endTime":498.69,"body":"story. But in the meantime, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":491.79,"endTime":498.69,"body":"wanted to pass some infos but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":498.69,"endTime":503.97,"body":"not taking myself too serious."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":498.69,"endTime":503.97,"body":"And so to wrap up my my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":503.97,"endTime":508.77000000000004,"body":"sentence, I realized this when I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":503.97,"endTime":508.77000000000004,"body":"have feedback, especially from"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":508.77000000000004,"endTime":515.16,"body":"French people, because in Italy,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":508.77000000000004,"endTime":515.16,"body":"people love the book, like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":515.16,"endTime":516.87,"body":"community of transsexual,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":517.34,"endTime":518.36,"body":"love the book."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":517.8,"endTime":524.22,"body":"They were very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":517.8,"endTime":524.22,"body":"supportive. And I felt a lot"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":524.22,"endTime":529.0799999999999,"body":"strong community and especially"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":524.22,"endTime":529.0799999999999,"body":"for Play With Fire, I was able"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":529.0799999999999,"endTime":534.72,"body":"to travel a little to promote it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":529.0799999999999,"endTime":534.72,"body":"in very cool space, even though"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":534.72,"endTime":539.34,"body":"it was 2020. And for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":534.72,"endTime":539.34,"body":"Transformer, I couldn't manage"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":539.34,"endTime":545.79,"body":"to go a lot around. But in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":539.34,"endTime":545.79,"body":"France, I realized that people"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":545.79,"endTime":551.76,"body":"were surprised the feedback"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":545.79,"endTime":551.76,"body":"where people love the book, but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":551.76,"endTime":559.4399999999999,"body":"also like the fact that I could"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":551.76,"endTime":559.4399999999999,"body":"approach those themes also in a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":559.4399999999999,"endTime":564.9599999999999,"body":"not serious way. That doesn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":559.4399999999999,"endTime":564.9599999999999,"body":"mean that it's not serious, but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":565.29,"endTime":569.9699999999999,"body":"in a way it's it can be light"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":565.29,"endTime":569.9699999999999,"body":"and joyful, even when you tell"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":569.9699999999999,"endTime":574.5899999999999,"body":"about dramas or no dramas, but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":569.9699999999999,"endTime":574.5899999999999,"body":"heavy stuff."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":576.17,"endTime":578.51,"body":"I think there's a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":576.17,"endTime":578.51,"body":"quality culturally about where"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":578.51,"endTime":582.9499999999999,"body":"we can hold the heavy staff"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":578.51,"endTime":582.9499999999999,"body":"staff with some sense of humor"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":582.9499999999999,"endTime":587.63,"body":"still, almost like not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":582.9499999999999,"endTime":587.63,"body":"tragicomic. But sometimes some"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":587.63,"endTime":591.41,"body":"moments are like, right, we can"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":587.63,"endTime":591.41,"body":"see, we can see the light side"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":591.41,"endTime":594.8299999999999,"body":"of even really heavy moments. I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":591.41,"endTime":594.8299999999999,"body":"think that that makes a lot of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":594.8299999999999,"endTime":599.78,"body":"sense. I also love in your work,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":594.8299999999999,"endTime":599.78,"body":"the vulnerability. I think for a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":599.78,"endTime":606.77,"body":"lot of trans masculine people"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":599.78,"endTime":606.77,"body":"often there is like such a ma"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":606.77,"endTime":610.67,"body":"How do I want to say that? But"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":606.77,"endTime":610.67,"body":"there's such a desire right to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":610.67,"endTime":615.9799999999999,"body":"be seen as masculine and seen as"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":610.67,"endTime":615.9799999999999,"body":"a man, you know, and what I love"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":615.9799999999999,"endTime":619.76,"body":"about your work is that there is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":615.9799999999999,"endTime":619.76,"body":"a vulnerability and masculinity"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":619.76,"endTime":623.18,"body":"that for me again, culturally"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":619.76,"endTime":623.18,"body":"feels much closer, you know,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":623.18,"endTime":626.66,"body":"masculinity where we can cry, we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":623.18,"endTime":626.66,"body":"can have emotions, we can be"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":626.66,"endTime":631.91,"body":"loud. It doesn't make us less of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":626.66,"endTime":631.91,"body":"a man in air quotes. Whatever"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":631.91,"endTime":636.1099999999999,"body":"being a man means that Because"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":631.91,"endTime":636.1099999999999,"body":"that's not our identify, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":636.1099999999999,"endTime":640.2199999999999,"body":"definitely on that end, right."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":636.1099999999999,"endTime":640.2199999999999,"body":"But there was a difference. Am I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":640.2199999999999,"endTime":644.3599999999999,"body":"making sense? I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":640.2199999999999,"endTime":644.3599999999999,"body":"you feel that way or not. But"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":644.66,"endTime":645.65,"body":"yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":645.7299999999999,"endTime":653.68,"body":"Totally. And yes,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":645.7299999999999,"endTime":653.68,"body":"totally. And also, I come a long"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":653.68,"endTime":660.0699999999999,"body":"way because I, I had to come to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":653.68,"endTime":660.0699999999999,"body":"term because in the beginning of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":660.0999999999999,"endTime":670.3599999999999,"body":"my transition, for example, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":660.0999999999999,"endTime":670.3599999999999,"body":"wasn't so. So how do you say, so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":670.3599999999999,"endTime":671.9799999999999,"body":"elastic, so"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":676.7199999999999,"endTime":679.42,"body":"flexible? In"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":676.7199999999999,"endTime":679.42,"body":"Italiano? Yeah, no, yeah."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":681.31,"endTime":684.2199999999999,"body":"I wasn't so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":681.31,"endTime":684.2199999999999,"body":"flexible. Because when I started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":684.2199999999999,"endTime":695.4699999999999,"body":"my transition, I started and I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":684.2199999999999,"endTime":695.4699999999999,"body":"was I went I came out. The day I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":695.4699999999999,"endTime":703.75,"body":"started coming out the day I got"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":695.4699999999999,"endTime":703.75,"body":"the paper from the therapist"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":703.78,"endTime":708.04,"body":"that says, Okay, you can go to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":703.78,"endTime":708.04,"body":"an endocrinologist and the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":708.04,"endTime":714.37,"body":"testosterone until that moment,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":708.04,"endTime":714.37,"body":"I didn't came out because I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":714.6999999999999,"endTime":720.88,"body":"afraid I try it but wasn't. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":714.6999999999999,"endTime":720.88,"body":"so when it came out, even though"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":720.88,"endTime":724.78,"body":"some friends close friends say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":720.88,"endTime":724.78,"body":"to me, Oh, what a surprise"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":724.78,"endTime":732.8499999999999,"body":"number like they were expecting"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":724.78,"endTime":732.8499999999999,"body":"this, but when I came out, I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":732.8499999999999,"endTime":738.6999999999999,"body":"like, Okay, now I have to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":732.8499999999999,"endTime":738.6999999999999,"body":"perform the male. And so I cut"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":738.6999999999999,"endTime":746.7099999999999,"body":"the hair. And I was like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":738.6999999999999,"endTime":746.7099999999999,"body":"couldn't wear colors, or. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":746.8,"endTime":750.3399999999999,"body":"also, because the moment I came"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":746.8,"endTime":750.3399999999999,"body":"out, even though it came out"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":750.3399999999999,"endTime":754.66,"body":"very late in my life, in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":750.3399999999999,"endTime":754.66,"body":"moment I came out, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":754.66,"endTime":758.3199999999999,"body":"stand anymore. People who say,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":754.66,"endTime":758.3199999999999,"body":"Oh, tell me ma'am, instead of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":758.3499999999999,"endTime":762.37,"body":"instead of me saying, because he"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":758.3499999999999,"endTime":762.37,"body":"was too much building up. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":762.43,"endTime":768.9699999999999,"body":"then I was like, now it has to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":762.43,"endTime":768.9699999999999,"body":"be this or nothing. And this was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":769.0899999999999,"endTime":776.0799999999999,"body":"four years ago. And since that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":769.0899999999999,"endTime":776.0799999999999,"body":"moment, I learned to my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":776.0799999999999,"endTime":781.54,"body":"masculinity in the way you were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":776.0799999999999,"endTime":781.54,"body":"saying, like, I even though now"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":781.5699999999999,"endTime":787.03,"body":"I know that if I dress colored,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":781.5699999999999,"endTime":787.03,"body":"or in my way of talking, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":787.03,"endTime":791.1099999999999,"body":"when I'm the telephone, I got a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":787.03,"endTime":791.1099999999999,"body":"lot of ma'am. And when I dress"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":791.1099999999999,"endTime":794.92,"body":"colored, or when people see me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":791.1099999999999,"endTime":794.92,"body":"from behind, I said people say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":794.92,"endTime":801.1899999999999,"body":"Excuse me, ma'am. And then I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":794.92,"endTime":801.1899999999999,"body":"told Mr. Or, and, but now I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":801.1899999999999,"endTime":806.5,"body":"don't care. Maybe because I now"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":801.1899999999999,"endTime":806.5,"body":"I own my masculinity. And also"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":806.5,"endTime":810.43,"body":"because maybe I feel"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":806.5,"endTime":810.43,"body":"comfortable. Thanks to the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":810.43,"endTime":816.4,"body":"testosterone that got me to this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":810.43,"endTime":816.4,"body":"point in which I feel good. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":816.4,"endTime":819.9399999999999,"body":"so even if somebody say, Ma'am,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":816.4,"endTime":819.9399999999999,"body":"now I don't care anymore,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":819.9399999999999,"endTime":824.1999999999999,"body":"because I'm not fragile in my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":819.9399999999999,"endTime":824.1999999999999,"body":"masculinity. More like a Ken"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":824.1999999999999,"endTime":825.52,"body":"now. Yes."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":830.26,"endTime":832.9,"body":"But you have a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":830.26,"endTime":832.9,"body":"lot of jobs, your work is not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":832.9,"endTime":842.38,"body":"just beach. I mean, that's real."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":832.9,"endTime":842.38,"body":"As an Italian, I was like, Yes,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":842.38,"endTime":846.1899999999999,"body":"I would like to work Beach,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":842.38,"endTime":846.1899999999999,"body":"please. Like, it's like, I would"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":846.1899999999999,"endTime":849.0699999999999,"body":"like to be on the beach in the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":846.1899999999999,"endTime":849.0699999999999,"body":"sunshine, rather than in an"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":849.0699999999999,"endTime":854.89,"body":"office most of the time. I love"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":849.0699999999999,"endTime":854.89,"body":"that. But I think that's true"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":854.89,"endTime":858.1899999999999,"body":"for a lot of people, as we get"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":854.89,"endTime":858.1899999999999,"body":"more comfortable in our own"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":858.1899999999999,"endTime":861.6099999999999,"body":"gender, then we're less"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":858.1899999999999,"endTime":861.6099999999999,"body":"influenced by the outside world"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":861.6099999999999,"endTime":865.81,"body":"and the expectation of like, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":861.6099999999999,"endTime":865.81,"body":"should perform masculinity in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":865.81,"endTime":871.54,"body":"this way. Which also changes you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":865.81,"endTime":871.54,"body":"know, like, I feel like as I got"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":871.6899999999999,"endTime":875.26,"body":"older, my masculinity also"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":871.6899999999999,"endTime":875.26,"body":"changes which makes sense, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":875.26,"endTime":879.49,"body":"know, like the, that that's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":875.26,"endTime":879.49,"body":"happening and I'm just curious"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":879.49,"endTime":883.0899999999999,"body":"about whether you knew you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":879.49,"endTime":883.0899999999999,"body":"notice how your gender"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":883.0899999999999,"endTime":886.4499999999999,"body":"expression changes when you're"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":883.0899999999999,"endTime":886.4499999999999,"body":"in France versus when you're in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":886.4799999999999,"endTime":889.24,"body":"Italy? As you're getting a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":886.4799999999999,"endTime":889.24,"body":"little bit older, you know,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":889.24,"endTime":893.1999999999999,"body":"you're in your 40s still, but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":889.24,"endTime":893.1999999999999,"body":"you know, do you feel that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":893.1999999999999,"endTime":896.56,"body":"changes the way you express your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":893.1999999999999,"endTime":896.56,"body":"gender as well or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":898.3499999999999,"endTime":905.43,"body":"I guess that now I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":898.3499999999999,"endTime":905.43,"body":"allow myself to be more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":905.7299999999999,"endTime":915.18,"body":"feminine. Like doing the because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":905.7299999999999,"endTime":915.18,"body":"I first thing first, my very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":915.18,"endTime":918.9599999999999,"body":"first approach to how to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":915.18,"endTime":918.9599999999999,"body":"understand my gender come from"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":918.9599999999999,"endTime":924.42,"body":"you. So I know that quote, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":918.9599999999999,"endTime":924.42,"body":"this is the place that we know"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":924.42,"endTime":928.7099999999999,"body":"what what we're talking about."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":924.42,"endTime":928.7099999999999,"body":"But sometimes I can allow myself"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":928.7099999999999,"endTime":935.31,"body":"to be more Yes, more manly and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":928.7099999999999,"endTime":935.31,"body":"not performing and I'm in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":935.31,"endTime":939.66,"body":"society when I'm in Italy or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":935.31,"endTime":939.66,"body":"when I'm, but I also like to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":939.66,"endTime":947.5799999999999,"body":"play with this this way of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":939.66,"endTime":947.5799999999999,"body":"expressing masculinity,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":947.6099999999999,"endTime":953.8199999999999,"body":"especially with a little bit"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":947.6099999999999,"endTime":953.8199999999999,"body":"more tough, or but it's also a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":953.8199999999999,"endTime":961.29,"body":"game. So I don't know if I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":953.8199999999999,"endTime":961.29,"body":"change my expression or my, my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":961.29,"endTime":964.68,"body":"way of approaching the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":961.29,"endTime":964.68,"body":"expression between Italy or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":964.68,"endTime":971.91,"body":"France, I don't think that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":964.68,"endTime":971.91,"body":"change it by the place. But what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":971.91,"endTime":979.3499999999999,"body":"I realized is that I have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":971.91,"endTime":979.3499999999999,"body":"changed the way I interact with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":979.3499999999999,"endTime":986.4599999999999,"body":"people, especially. I know that,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":979.3499999999999,"endTime":986.4599999999999,"body":"for example, when I'm in an"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":986.4599999999999,"endTime":992.0999999999999,"body":"office, or I don't know, I wish"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":986.4599999999999,"endTime":992.0999999999999,"body":"somebody control my papers when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":992.0999999999999,"endTime":998.6999999999999,"body":"I was read, read femme how do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":992.0999999999999,"endTime":998.6999999999999,"body":"you say, female."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":998.8499999999999,"endTime":1001.0999999999999,"body":"Oh, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":998.8499999999999,"endTime":1001.0999999999999,"body":"feminine, feminine."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1002.5699999999999,"endTime":1006.4699999999999,"body":"I could be \"Oh you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1002.5699999999999,"endTime":1006.4699999999999,"body":"want to give me a ticket, I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1006.4699999999999,"endTime":1013.0699999999999,"body":"sorry, i can't understand.\" And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1006.4699999999999,"endTime":1013.0699999999999,"body":"I use that the so much, I guess"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1013.0699999999999,"endTime":1017.7199999999999,"body":"maybe it's the fault of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1013.0699999999999,"endTime":1017.7199999999999,"body":"patriarchy, because we assume"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1017.87,"endTime":1023.27,"body":"when we are read as female, we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1017.87,"endTime":1023.27,"body":"are less threatening and more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1023.3,"endTime":1027.98,"body":"accepted and more eager to be"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1023.3,"endTime":1027.98,"body":"held to when we present fragile,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1028.19,"endTime":1034.31,"body":"but in some way I use this, when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1028.19,"endTime":1034.31,"body":"I transitioned and my expression"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1034.31,"endTime":1039.02,"body":"of change changed. Sometimes I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1034.31,"endTime":1039.02,"body":"did this, and I realized that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1039.05,"endTime":1043.76,"body":"the the effect on the other"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1039.05,"endTime":1043.76,"body":"people was the opposite. Because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1044.09,"endTime":1048.5,"body":"it was read as female, and it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1044.09,"endTime":1048.5,"body":"was like, I'm sorry, all the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1048.5,"endTime":1053.78,"body":"doors open. But when you are"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1048.5,"endTime":1053.78,"body":"readers as male, I often I have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1053.78,"endTime":1058.85,"body":"the sideburns and and I'm like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1053.78,"endTime":1058.85,"body":"I'm sorry. And so people are"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1058.85,"endTime":1064.55,"body":"like, Oh, this is a male,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1058.85,"endTime":1064.55,"body":"feminine, almost sexual, or I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1064.55,"endTime":1068.24,"body":"don't know. And they are very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1064.55,"endTime":1068.24,"body":"more."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1071.05,"endTime":1073.36,"body":"Yeah, even more"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1071.05,"endTime":1073.36,"body":"mature masculine"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1072.8,"endTime":1079.49,"body":"closers. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1072.8,"endTime":1079.49,"body":"And, at least for me, I don't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1079.49,"endTime":1083.6599999999999,"body":"know not not speaking from any"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1079.49,"endTime":1083.6599999999999,"body":"anyone. But in my case, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1083.6599999999999,"endTime":1088.55,"body":"realized at least I realized"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1083.6599999999999,"endTime":1088.55,"body":"that I couldn't use the same way"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1088.55,"endTime":1093.5,"body":"of interaction, even the being"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1088.55,"endTime":1093.5,"body":"polite. I couldn't, I have to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1093.5,"endTime":1098.45,"body":"switch. This is the things I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1093.5,"endTime":1098.45,"body":"have to switch. And to finish, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1098.45,"endTime":1109.07,"body":"can also add that in some way."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1098.45,"endTime":1109.07,"body":"By this week, I had the idea to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1109.07,"endTime":1114.3799999999999,"body":"open an account in the Postal"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1109.07,"endTime":1114.3799999999999,"body":"Service anyway, some paperwork"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1114.3799999999999,"endTime":1120.59,"body":"in France, and I did it. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1114.3799999999999,"endTime":1120.59,"body":"then I, I did something wrong."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1120.59,"endTime":1124.9099999999999,"body":"And I needed to admit, I need"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1120.59,"endTime":1124.9099999999999,"body":"that sorry to change this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1124.9099999999999,"endTime":1130.85,"body":"anyway. And so I was at the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1124.9099999999999,"endTime":1130.85,"body":"telephone with a tech guy. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1130.85,"endTime":1136.73,"body":"I, since I needed my paper to do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1130.85,"endTime":1136.73,"body":"this. So I was I met as mme"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1136.73,"endTime":1142.34,"body":"because my paper and I realized,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1136.73,"endTime":1142.34,"body":"now I'm some kinda get used to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1142.34,"endTime":1147.4099999999999,"body":"the being read as male"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1142.34,"endTime":1147.4099999999999,"body":"privilege. Or I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1147.4099999999999,"endTime":1150.86,"body":"it's a privilege, but in a way"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1147.4099999999999,"endTime":1150.86,"body":"is the way of people talk to me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1150.8899999999999,"endTime":1156.2,"body":"when they are men. And it's, I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1150.8899999999999,"endTime":1156.2,"body":"doing some technical things."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1156.56,"endTime":1160.6399999999999,"body":"When the men read me as a man,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1156.56,"endTime":1160.6399999999999,"body":"they're like, Okay, I can help"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1160.6399999999999,"endTime":1163.58,"body":"you. Yes, it's like this, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1160.6399999999999,"endTime":1163.58,"body":"got this. And when they read"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1163.58,"endTime":1168.08,"body":"this female, it's like, it's not"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1163.58,"endTime":1168.08,"body":"like this. You have to go there"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1168.08,"endTime":1172.79,"body":"and do these. And I'm the same"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1168.08,"endTime":1172.79,"body":"person. Yes, the person sees a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1172.79,"endTime":1177.9199999999998,"body":"female, so they don't know what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1172.79,"endTime":1177.9199999999998,"body":"they are, they are doing. This"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1177.9199999999998,"endTime":1185.75,"body":"is a little bit shocking, not"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1177.9199999999998,"endTime":1185.75,"body":"shocking, but it's fastidiosa"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1186.11,"endTime":1186.68,"body":"Si?"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1186.8799999999999,"endTime":1189.19,"body":"It's really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1186.8799999999999,"endTime":1189.19,"body":"annoying when you can, si,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1189.61,"endTime":1193.06,"body":"fastidosa so knowing that's a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1189.61,"endTime":1193.06,"body":"good way to put it. That is so"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1193.06,"endTime":1197.29,"body":"true. Like how I'm read really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1193.06,"endTime":1197.29,"body":"changes so much. And also, if"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1197.29,"endTime":1201.6699999999998,"body":"I'm read, you know, am I being"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1197.29,"endTime":1201.6699999999998,"body":"read as a lesbian? Am I being"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1201.6699999999998,"endTime":1205.84,"body":"read as a man? Am I being read"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1201.6699999999998,"endTime":1205.84,"body":"as a gay man? You know, when I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1205.84,"endTime":1210.52,"body":"remember once doing a trip when"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1205.84,"endTime":1210.52,"body":"my daughter was small with one"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1210.52,"endTime":1214.12,"body":"of my partners is like six foot"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1210.52,"endTime":1214.12,"body":"seven, and we I went to check in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1214.12,"endTime":1217.1499999999999,"body":"at the hotel, and they were"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1214.12,"endTime":1217.1499999999999,"body":"like, Oh, yes. And, and you're"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1217.1499999999999,"endTime":1219.34,"body":"traveling with your family."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1217.1499999999999,"endTime":1219.34,"body":"Where's your wife? And I was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1219.34,"endTime":1222.85,"body":"like, it's it's the tall six"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1219.34,"endTime":1222.85,"body":"foot seven British man over"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1222.85,"endTime":1229.36,"body":"there. That's my wife. And the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1222.85,"endTime":1229.36,"body":"person was like, what are what"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1229.36,"endTime":1233.02,"body":"is happening right now? And I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1229.36,"endTime":1233.02,"body":"like, exactly. I feel like that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1233.02,"endTime":1236.32,"body":"is my life. What is happening"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1233.02,"endTime":1236.32,"body":"right now. Like I confuse a lot"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1236.32,"endTime":1240.1,"body":"of people because my gender is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1236.32,"endTime":1240.1,"body":"just tends to be really fluid"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1240.1,"endTime":1244.03,"body":"and my sexuality also, it's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1240.1,"endTime":1244.03,"body":"really confusing to people, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1244.03,"endTime":1247.1499999999999,"body":"know, they often expect me to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1244.03,"endTime":1247.1499999999999,"body":"have a femme partner, which I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1247.1499999999999,"endTime":1250.3899999999999,"body":"don't as somebody who's mostly"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1247.1499999999999,"endTime":1250.3899999999999,"body":"attracted to masculine folks."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1251.53,"endTime":1255.1299999999999,"body":"And so yeah, it gets really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1251.53,"endTime":1255.1299999999999,"body":"confusing, I think for people."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1254.8,"endTime":1258.37,"body":"it's, it's so fun"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1254.8,"endTime":1258.37,"body":"because, for example, my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1255.1599999999999,"endTime":1255.37,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1258.37,"endTime":1263.44,"body":"daughter is, she's going to be"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1258.37,"endTime":1263.44,"body":"15 next week, and I've been"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1263.44,"endTime":1268.3,"body":"traveling with her since she's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1263.44,"endTime":1268.3,"body":"two months old. We've been"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1268.33,"endTime":1273.82,"body":"everywhere. And also we traveled"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1268.33,"endTime":1273.82,"body":"to the States when she was like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1273.85,"endTime":1280.69,"body":"five years old. So I never never"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1273.85,"endTime":1280.69,"body":"never had any problem me passing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1280.69,"endTime":1285.6399999999999,"body":"the for example, the check in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1280.69,"endTime":1285.6399999999999,"body":"counter with a kid, when I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1285.6399999999999,"endTime":1291.82,"body":"read as female, I was like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1285.6399999999999,"endTime":1291.82,"body":"okay, and this it was maybe last"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1291.82,"endTime":1300.79,"body":"summer or last winter anyway, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1291.82,"endTime":1300.79,"body":"was traveling with air. And when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1300.79,"endTime":1307.72,"body":"we arrived at the at the gate, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1300.79,"endTime":1307.72,"body":"gave the paper and then before I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1307.72,"endTime":1311.74,"body":"gave the paper, oh, maybe my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1307.72,"endTime":1311.74,"body":"daughter gave me the paper"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1311.74,"endTime":1316.36,"body":"anyway, I know that the asked"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1311.74,"endTime":1316.36,"body":"they asked us the land or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1316.36,"endTime":1320.02,"body":"stairs, the one who check the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1316.36,"endTime":1320.02,"body":"paper and make make you go on"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1320.02,"endTime":1326.95,"body":"the plane. So me, so read me as"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1320.02,"endTime":1326.95,"body":"male with a teen, young girl."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1326.98,"endTime":1332.1399999999999,"body":"Yeah. And she went to my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1326.98,"endTime":1332.1399999999999,"body":"daughter, and she said, okay,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1332.1399999999999,"endTime":1336.3999999999999,"body":"and where is your? Where is your"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1332.1399999999999,"endTime":1336.3999999999999,"body":"mom? Er, or where is your mom or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1336.3999999999999,"endTime":1340.45,"body":"something like this? And it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1336.3999999999999,"endTime":1340.45,"body":"the very first time that this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1340.45,"endTime":1347.8899999999999,"body":"happened that she was checking"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1340.45,"endTime":1347.8899999999999,"body":"if all was and I was like, I am"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1347.8899999999999,"endTime":1359.02,"body":"the mom. Because I say in French"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1347.8899999999999,"endTime":1359.02,"body":"there is you genderized the . in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1359.02,"endTime":1363.9099999999999,"body":"Malmo, it's me. It wasMr. Mom,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1359.02,"endTime":1363.9099999999999,"body":"it's me. Because she called me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1363.9099999999999,"endTime":1370.18,"body":"Mama. So it was fun. It was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1363.9099999999999,"endTime":1370.18,"body":"like, Okay, no problem."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1370.8799999999999,"endTime":1373.1299999999999,"body":"It's very true,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1370.8799999999999,"endTime":1373.1299999999999,"body":"because I think they're watching"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1373.1299999999999,"endTime":1378.56,"body":"out for trafficking and all that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1373.1299999999999,"endTime":1378.56,"body":"which, while I can understand"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1378.56,"endTime":1381.71,"body":"what they're doing, I've had"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1378.56,"endTime":1381.71,"body":"similar experiences where when"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1381.71,"endTime":1384.6499999999999,"body":"I'm with my, especially when my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1381.71,"endTime":1384.6499999999999,"body":"daughter was younger, like I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1384.6499999999999,"endTime":1388.61,"body":"remember being at Disneyland,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1384.6499999999999,"endTime":1388.61,"body":"for example. And she was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1388.6399999999999,"endTime":1391.3999999999999,"body":"younger, and she wanted me to go"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1388.6399999999999,"endTime":1391.3999999999999,"body":"into the bathroom with there."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1391.43,"endTime":1394.37,"body":"And I was like, Sure, I can come"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1391.43,"endTime":1394.37,"body":"to the accessible bathroom with"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1394.37,"endTime":1397.01,"body":"you. Because it was very"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1394.37,"endTime":1397.01,"body":"overwhelming indoor, lots of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1397.01,"endTime":1400.6399999999999,"body":"people. And one of the people"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1397.01,"endTime":1400.6399999999999,"body":"check in there was like, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1400.6399999999999,"endTime":1404.72,"body":"can't go in and I was like, she"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1400.6399999999999,"endTime":1404.72,"body":"came out of my body. She wants"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1404.72,"endTime":1408.62,"body":"me to go in with that I'm going"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1404.72,"endTime":1408.62,"body":"in right now. Like, you're not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1408.62,"endTime":1411.77,"body":"gonna start. And my kiddo was so"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1408.62,"endTime":1411.77,"body":"confused, like what is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1411.77,"endTime":1414.98,"body":"happening, and she was like six"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1411.77,"endTime":1414.98,"body":"or seven, I think at the time,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1414.98,"endTime":1417.8899999999999,"body":"and I was like, I'll explain"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1414.98,"endTime":1417.8899999999999,"body":"later. And then later, I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1417.8899999999999,"endTime":1420.32,"body":"explained, I was like, I was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1417.8899999999999,"endTime":1420.32,"body":"being bred of a different"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1420.32,"endTime":1422.87,"body":"gender, and they were worried"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1420.32,"endTime":1422.87,"body":"that was a threat to you. And"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1422.87,"endTime":1426.1399999999999,"body":"that's definitely been a few"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1422.87,"endTime":1426.1399999999999,"body":"other moments when we travel"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1426.1399999999999,"endTime":1430.1,"body":"where it's like, it is very"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1426.1399999999999,"endTime":1430.1,"body":"different when you travel, like"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1430.1,"endTime":1434.78,"body":"appearing more masculine with a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1430.1,"endTime":1434.78,"body":"femme kid or with a daughter."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1435.74,"endTime":1440.36,"body":"It's a very different"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1435.74,"endTime":1440.36,"body":"experience. And there's so many"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1440.36,"endTime":1443.3899999999999,"body":"things I want to talk to you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1440.36,"endTime":1443.3899999999999,"body":"about. One of the things that I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1443.3899999999999,"endTime":1448.61,"body":"love that you do is you keep"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1443.3899999999999,"endTime":1448.61,"body":"your own graphic journal, and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1448.61,"endTime":1451.61,"body":"you also teach people how to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1448.61,"endTime":1451.61,"body":"keep a graphic journal, right?"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1451.61,"endTime":1454.46,"body":"And I'm bringing this up,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1451.61,"endTime":1454.46,"body":"because I feel like a lot of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1454.46,"endTime":1458.03,"body":"your experiences both in the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1454.46,"endTime":1458.03,"body":"world, but also inner"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1458.06,"endTime":1462.08,"body":"experiences, like emotional"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1458.06,"endTime":1462.08,"body":"experiences, you find this"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1462.08,"endTime":1466.31,"body":"beautiful way of putting"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1462.08,"endTime":1466.31,"body":"visually in your graphic"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1466.31,"endTime":1469.01,"body":"journal. So do you want to tell"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1466.31,"endTime":1469.01,"body":"the listeners a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1469.01,"endTime":1471.74,"body":"this practice that you have on"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1469.01,"endTime":1471.74,"body":"the graphic journal?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1472.19,"endTime":1477.02,"body":"Of course. So the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1472.19,"endTime":1477.02,"body":"beginning of this graphic"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1477.02,"endTime":1481.61,"body":"journal, I always, always always"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1477.02,"endTime":1481.61,"body":"add a journal and also always"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1481.61,"endTime":1487.82,"body":"had this practice of making"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1481.61,"endTime":1487.82,"body":"comics out of my life. But in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1488.6299999999999,"endTime":1497.87,"body":"2011, I bought this marvelous"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1488.6299999999999,"endTime":1497.87,"body":"moleskin agenda planner. And I,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1498.35,"endTime":1505.01,"body":"I had bought this one day"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1498.35,"endTime":1505.01,"body":"planner. At the beginning my my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1505.01,"endTime":1510.95,"body":"idea of a project was having,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1505.01,"endTime":1510.95,"body":"making, doing no one self"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1510.95,"endTime":1515.21,"body":"portrait today, one page one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1510.95,"endTime":1515.21,"body":"self portrait for one year, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1515.27,"endTime":1520.49,"body":"my idea was putting it on a blog"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1515.27,"endTime":1520.49,"body":"and I wanted to call it \"one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1520.52,"endTime":1526.1299999999999,"body":"poor self portrait a day, a way"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1520.52,"endTime":1526.1299999999999,"body":"to learn to love myself and find"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1526.1299999999999,"endTime":1528.86,"body":"a new husband\" this was my idea."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1532.34,"endTime":1533.6599999999999,"body":"What happened"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":1532.34,"endTime":1533.6599999999999,"body":"instead?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1532.8,"endTime":1542.04,"body":"It's not. And what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1532.8,"endTime":1542.04,"body":"happened instead is that since"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1542.04,"endTime":1548.37,"body":"day one, I couldn't contain"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1542.04,"endTime":1548.37,"body":"myself. I'd been recently"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1548.3999999999999,"endTime":1555.36,"body":"diagnosed with ADHD, which is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1548.3999999999999,"endTime":1555.36,"body":"not a surprise but and I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1555.36,"endTime":1561.87,"body":"seeing some somebody once a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1555.36,"endTime":1561.87,"body":"month to keep up with this. I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1561.87,"endTime":1568.95,"body":"not medicating but just to talk"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1561.87,"endTime":1568.95,"body":"about this anyway. And so I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1568.95,"endTime":1574.35,"body":"probably when I, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1568.95,"endTime":1574.35,"body":"manage to only put one drawing a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1574.35,"endTime":1581.9099999999999,"body":"day I wanted to. And so I start"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1574.35,"endTime":1581.9099999999999,"body":"doing this. Every day, I draw"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1581.94,"endTime":1588.09,"body":"and write all I did in this in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1581.94,"endTime":1588.09,"body":"this day. It was not so not in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1588.12,"endTime":1593.6399999999999,"body":"narration, not self. Emotion,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1588.12,"endTime":1593.6399999999999,"body":"narration of the emotion just"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1594.06,"endTime":1600.18,"body":"the day. And I keep these every"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1594.06,"endTime":1600.18,"body":"day for maybe three years. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1600.18,"endTime":1604.6499999999999,"body":"put this on a blog, they, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1600.18,"endTime":1604.6499999999999,"body":"can see, see it. It's like this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1604.6499999999999,"endTime":1609.78,"body":"blog is called"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1604.6499999999999,"endTime":1609.78,"body":"https://nicozgoeswest.wordpress.com/."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1609.78,"endTime":1614.3999999999999,"body":"And the majority of those things"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1609.78,"endTime":1614.3999999999999,"body":"are there. And then also this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1614.43,"endTime":1618.27,"body":"became a book called vault"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1614.43,"endTime":1618.27,"body":"Palooza all the out in Italy."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1620.19,"endTime":1625.56,"body":"Anyway, and, and I started doing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1620.19,"endTime":1625.56,"body":"this and I started giving from"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1625.68,"endTime":1632.25,"body":"2015 I did the workshop for just"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1625.68,"endTime":1632.25,"body":"self narration. And I could and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1632.25,"endTime":1637.62,"body":"I would explain and show to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1632.25,"endTime":1637.62,"body":"people who come out other"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1637.62,"endTime":1643.56,"body":"artists, keep up with self"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1637.62,"endTime":1643.56,"body":"narration, travel journal,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1643.59,"endTime":1650.6399999999999,"body":"recipe journal and everything's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1643.59,"endTime":1650.6399999999999,"body":"and back during the pandemic."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1651.36,"endTime":1656.19,"body":"So, two, four years ago, what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1651.36,"endTime":1656.19,"body":"happened, it we were everybody"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1656.19,"endTime":1660.03,"body":"was in lockdown. And we were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1656.19,"endTime":1660.03,"body":"very scared and very like this."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1660.27,"endTime":1663.81,"body":"And I had this practice of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1660.27,"endTime":1663.81,"body":"keeping a graphic journal, but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1663.81,"endTime":1671.97,"body":"in a way of more like drawing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1663.81,"endTime":1671.97,"body":"fears, drawing dreams, drawing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1672.57,"endTime":1677.9099999999999,"body":"dreams, not in the nighttime,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1672.57,"endTime":1677.9099999999999,"body":"you know, through goals, all"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1677.9099999999999,"endTime":1681.87,"body":"sorts of things. And I realized"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1677.9099999999999,"endTime":1681.87,"body":"that I felt very good that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1681.87,"endTime":1686.82,"body":"didn't have to keep up with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1681.87,"endTime":1686.82,"body":"everything I bought these I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1686.82,"endTime":1691.2,"body":"slept at 9pm Just like I felt"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1686.82,"endTime":1691.2,"body":"these and all these kinds of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1691.2,"endTime":1701.37,"body":"things. And so I started gay"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1691.2,"endTime":1701.37,"body":"giving classes for people in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1701.37,"endTime":1707.9099999999999,"body":"lockdown like me on Zoom. And so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1701.37,"endTime":1707.9099999999999,"body":"we got there on the Zoom. And we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1707.9099999999999,"endTime":1713.6699999999998,"body":"started at the beginning it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1707.9099999999999,"endTime":1713.6699999999998,"body":"a lot around yes drawing are we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1713.6699999999998,"endTime":1720.78,"body":"draw are we can narrate and we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1713.6699999999998,"endTime":1720.78,"body":"use a lot book by the genius"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1720.81,"endTime":1728.07,"body":"Linda Barry, which is a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1720.81,"endTime":1728.07,"body":"cartoonist make characters"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1728.1,"endTime":1736.32,"body":"Genius Grant winner, I guess."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1728.1,"endTime":1736.32,"body":"And she has this way of keeping"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1736.4099999999999,"endTime":1741.4199999999998,"body":"up with a journal. And she drew"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1736.4099999999999,"endTime":1741.4199999999998,"body":"a cross on a page. And she put a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1741.4199999999998,"endTime":1746.6399999999999,"body":"timer and she said, Okay, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1741.4199999999998,"endTime":1746.6399999999999,"body":"have five minutes total. And you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1746.6399999999999,"endTime":1750.81,"body":"in one section of this four"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1746.6399999999999,"endTime":1750.81,"body":"section that you create on your"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1750.81,"endTime":1755.61,"body":"page by creating this writing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1750.81,"endTime":1755.61,"body":"down this cross. And in which"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1755.61,"endTime":1760.2,"body":"you write down what you did,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1755.61,"endTime":1760.2,"body":"what you saw what you say, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1760.2,"endTime":1767.34,"body":"something like this. And so the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1760.2,"endTime":1767.34,"body":"first maybe two or three times"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1767.34,"endTime":1772.23,"body":"we met, we we used to meet once"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1767.34,"endTime":1772.23,"body":"a week, I guess for like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1772.23,"endTime":1776.1299999999999,"body":"first month because it was the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1772.23,"endTime":1776.1299999999999,"body":"pandemic. And then I realized"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1776.1299999999999,"endTime":1781.62,"body":"that for me what was more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1776.1299999999999,"endTime":1781.62,"body":"important wasn't what I did,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1781.62,"endTime":1787.3799999999999,"body":"what I eat what I say but what I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1781.62,"endTime":1787.3799999999999,"body":"feel, what I want to feel, what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1787.3799999999999,"endTime":1792.24,"body":"I'm afraid to do to feel twice a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1787.3799999999999,"endTime":1792.24,"body":"month, then I started doing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1792.24,"endTime":1798.6599999999999,"body":"this. And then after one year, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1792.24,"endTime":1798.6599999999999,"body":"close it down to once a month."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1799.29,"endTime":1803.9099999999999,"body":"And what's happened during the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1799.29,"endTime":1803.9099999999999,"body":"class we have every month to one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1803.9099999999999,"endTime":1807.99,"body":"hour and a half, sometimes two"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1803.9099999999999,"endTime":1807.99,"body":"hour club class around the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1807.99,"endTime":1814.29,"body":"theme. And during this class we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1807.99,"endTime":1814.29,"body":"investigate what we feel. We"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1814.29,"endTime":1820.47,"body":"draw, we write, sometimes people"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1814.29,"endTime":1820.47,"body":"cry and it's very good because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1820.47,"endTime":1823.6499999999999,"body":"I'm a Cancerian and when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1820.47,"endTime":1823.6499999999999,"body":"somebody cries it's very good"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1824.28,"endTime":1829.59,"body":"emotions. And yes, I hope that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1824.28,"endTime":1829.59,"body":"answered."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1830.22,"endTime":1834.51,"body":"You did and I love detail, don't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1830.22,"endTime":1834.51,"body":"worry and I also am late"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1834.51,"endTime":1838.98,"body":"diagnosed with ADHD. So we can"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1834.51,"endTime":1838.98,"body":"go down all the side quests we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1838.98,"endTime":1842.61,"body":"want. It's all good. That is our"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1838.98,"endTime":1842.61,"body":"interview, we can do whatever we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1842.61,"endTime":1843.06,"body":"want."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1848.6699999999998,"endTime":1852.84,"body":"Parenthesis over. Like I don't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1848.6699999999998,"endTime":1852.84,"body":"even know in English. I like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1852.87,"endTime":1856.35,"body":"English I like how people with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1852.87,"endTime":1856.35,"body":"ADHD say side quests,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1857.58,"endTime":1864.87,"body":"parentheses, parentheses. We can"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1857.58,"endTime":1864.87,"body":"do all the side quests we want."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1864.8999999999999,"endTime":1868.77,"body":"And I think what I love about"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1864.8999999999999,"endTime":1868.77,"body":"the graphic journal, if I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1868.77,"endTime":1872.01,"body":"wonder, like, was that a big"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1868.77,"endTime":1872.01,"body":"part of your own gender"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1872.01,"endTime":1875.49,"body":"exploration as well? Of course,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1872.01,"endTime":1875.49,"body":"it looks like it but does it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1875.49,"endTime":1879.21,"body":"feel like that? What also"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1875.49,"endTime":1879.21,"body":"enabled you to explore your own"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1879.21,"endTime":1880.9199999999998,"body":"gender through that means?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1882.1499999999999,"endTime":1891.03,"body":"Yes, and it's, it's fun because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1882.1499999999999,"endTime":1891.03,"body":"when I I, during the pandemic, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1891.03,"endTime":1896.61,"body":"started the consulting with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1891.03,"endTime":1896.61,"body":"therapist, not a gender"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1896.61,"endTime":1899.85,"body":"specialist because I'm living in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1896.61,"endTime":1899.85,"body":"a very small town and there were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1899.8799999999999,"endTime":1904.08,"body":"there were there are still no"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1899.8799999999999,"endTime":1904.08,"body":"gender specialist, but with a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1904.08,"endTime":1909.6,"body":"therapist since December 2018."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1904.08,"endTime":1909.6,"body":"And I started transitioning"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1911.07,"endTime":1916.32,"body":"somewhere 2020 So during this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1911.07,"endTime":1916.32,"body":"time, it was a lot of inner"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1916.32,"endTime":1921.12,"body":"inner work. And it was also the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1916.32,"endTime":1921.12,"body":"moment I was drawing my book,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1921.87,"endTime":1925.68,"body":"play with fire. And so it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1921.87,"endTime":1925.68,"body":"fun because I started this book"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1925.68,"endTime":1928.8,"body":"because I just wanted to talk"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1925.68,"endTime":1928.8,"body":"about my coming out and my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1929.1599999999999,"endTime":1936.36,"body":"sexual sexuality, orientation,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1929.1599999999999,"endTime":1936.36,"body":"sexuality. I wanted to talk"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1936.36,"endTime":1940.32,"body":"about this, this was the book or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1936.36,"endTime":1940.32,"body":"just talking about this. But in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1940.32,"endTime":1946.47,"body":"the meantime, and it's fun"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1940.32,"endTime":1946.47,"body":"because I in some, you can see"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1946.47,"endTime":1950.3999999999999,"body":"it in this play with fire. The"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1946.47,"endTime":1950.3999999999999,"body":"first part is very, like it's a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1950.3999999999999,"endTime":1957.6599999999999,"body":"story. And then it become an"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1950.3999999999999,"endTime":1957.6599999999999,"body":"inner dialogue with drawings and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1957.6599999999999,"endTime":1963.75,"body":"consideration. So the last fall,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1957.6599999999999,"endTime":1963.75,"body":"part of the book was writing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1963.75,"endTime":1971.04,"body":"down my researching inner"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1963.75,"endTime":1971.04,"body":"researching about this, and, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1971.04,"endTime":1975.18,"body":"then do in 2020 It was fun"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1971.04,"endTime":1975.18,"body":"because I was doing this self"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1975.21,"endTime":1986.1,"body":"future self for me. So, okay,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1975.21,"endTime":1986.1,"body":"well recommend a future meme,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1986.31,"endTime":1992.46,"body":"meditation or sense. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1986.31,"endTime":1992.46,"body":"meditation. I don't remember"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1992.55,"endTime":1996.93,"body":"with who it was something I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1992.55,"endTime":1996.93,"body":"listening, but I don't remember"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1996.93,"endTime":2001.94,"body":"the certs. But I was like, it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":1996.93,"endTime":2001.94,"body":"for two future you that come to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2001.94,"endTime":2005.27,"body":"you and you see yourself in five"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2001.94,"endTime":2005.27,"body":"years or something like this."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2005.72,"endTime":2011.6,"body":"Then I drew, I wrote down and I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2005.72,"endTime":2011.6,"body":"drew my future self. And it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2011.6299999999999,"endTime":2016.04,"body":"fun, because I found these few"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2011.6299999999999,"endTime":2016.04,"body":"days ago. And it was like me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2016.04,"endTime":2021.4099999999999,"body":"now. That's amazing. A little"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2016.04,"endTime":2021.4099999999999,"body":"bit more air, or since I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2021.4099999999999,"endTime":2029.75,"body":"balding, but anyway, we don't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2021.4099999999999,"endTime":2029.75,"body":"care. But and so it was fun,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2029.75,"endTime":2036.26,"body":"because I use it as drawing as a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2029.75,"endTime":2036.26,"body":"way of experimenting in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2036.26,"endTime":2039.8,"body":"narration but also in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2036.26,"endTime":2039.8,"body":"graphic journaling, practice."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2039.8,"endTime":2046.1,"body":"Yes. So the two coexist the my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2039.8,"endTime":2046.1,"body":"the one that goes outside and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2046.1,"endTime":2051.5,"body":"also the one that is just for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2046.1,"endTime":2051.5,"body":"me, and and then when I started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2051.5,"endTime":2056.27,"body":"in meditation, the meditation,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2051.5,"endTime":2056.27,"body":"no way is a sort of meditation."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2056.27,"endTime":2060.5,"body":"But I wanted to say I started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2056.27,"endTime":2060.5,"body":"the transition, which is a sort"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2060.5,"endTime":2069.35,"body":"of meditation. I started keeping"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2060.5,"endTime":2069.35,"body":"this graphic journal, journal."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2073.34,"endTime":2076.04,"body":"You speak so many"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2073.34,"endTime":2076.04,"body":"languages? Nicoz, I don't think"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2076.04,"endTime":2078.98,"body":"you need to apologize. This is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2076.04,"endTime":2078.98,"body":"like, you know, your first"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2078.98,"endTime":2082.7000000000003,"body":"language is Italian you function"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2078.98,"endTime":2082.7000000000003,"body":"in French every day. And now I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2082.7000000000003,"endTime":2086.21,"body":"making you do this interview in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2082.7000000000003,"endTime":2086.21,"body":"English. I think you're good. No"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2086.21,"endTime":2087.4700000000003,"body":"need to apologize."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2089.07,"endTime":2091.86,"body":"Anyway, I started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2089.07,"endTime":2091.86,"body":"keeping this graphic journal."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2092.1600000000003,"endTime":2098.94,"body":"And I posted this on my moleskin"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2092.1600000000003,"endTime":2098.94,"body":"Instagram account, which is a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2098.94,"endTime":2104.25,"body":"mom and moleskin journal. It's a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2098.94,"endTime":2104.25,"body":"contraction of the two. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2104.25,"endTime":2110.01,"body":"call the two I archive did with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2104.25,"endTime":2110.01,"body":"the hashtag sleeping in a binder"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2110.3100000000004,"endTime":2115.17,"body":"because I did this drawing of me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2110.3100000000004,"endTime":2115.17,"body":"sleeping with my binder"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2116.04,"endTime":2123.84,"body":"completely in compress at the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2116.04,"endTime":2123.84,"body":"end. And so I started drawing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2123.8700000000003,"endTime":2129.15,"body":"all all that app and I started I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2123.8700000000003,"endTime":2129.15,"body":"guess that a lot of people do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2129.15,"endTime":2136.7400000000002,"body":"this like feeling the need of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2129.15,"endTime":2136.7400000000002,"body":"reporting or not, do you see in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2136.7400000000002,"endTime":2144.9,"body":"English for reportage"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2136.7400000000002,"endTime":2144.9,"body":"documenting document,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2144.9300000000003,"endTime":2146.76,"body":"document,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2144.9300000000003,"endTime":2146.76,"body":"document,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2147.03,"endTime":2151.8300000000004,"body":"their transition."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2147.03,"endTime":2151.8300000000004,"body":"But maybe it's a generational"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2151.8300000000004,"endTime":2155.13,"body":"things I couldn't manage to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2151.8300000000004,"endTime":2155.13,"body":"doing, for example, on YouTube,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2155.3700000000003,"endTime":2160.5600000000004,"body":"or on as a lot of young people"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2155.3700000000003,"endTime":2160.5600000000004,"body":"may do with picture. And so I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2160.59,"endTime":2166.98,"body":"did this by drawing, and this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2160.59,"endTime":2166.98,"body":"body of work of graphic journal."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2167.6400000000003,"endTime":2172.44,"body":"So it was like very instinctive."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2167.6400000000003,"endTime":2172.44,"body":"There were like, I feel it, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2172.44,"endTime":2176.82,"body":"leave it, I write it, there were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2172.44,"endTime":2176.82,"body":"no rewriting just, I'm feeling"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2176.82,"endTime":2180.51,"body":"it, leaving it, I put it on"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2176.82,"endTime":2180.51,"body":"paper. And I posted on this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2180.54,"endTime":2185.07,"body":"account, which is a little bit"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2180.54,"endTime":2185.07,"body":"more private than my Nico's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2185.07,"endTime":2191.5800000000004,"body":"Balboa main account. And back,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2185.07,"endTime":2191.5800000000004,"body":"then I use, I use this body of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2191.5800000000004,"endTime":2199.3500000000004,"body":"work this, all this content to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2191.5800000000004,"endTime":2199.3500000000004,"body":"rewrite my book transformer. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2199.3500000000004,"endTime":2206.13,"body":"in this case, I use this as two"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2199.3500000000004,"endTime":2206.13,"body":"to relieve the emotion to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2206.5800000000004,"endTime":2211.86,"body":"realize that the milestone are"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2206.5800000000004,"endTime":2211.86,"body":"the things I did. But then I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2211.8900000000003,"endTime":2219.57,"body":"turned it into my book, my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2211.8900000000003,"endTime":2219.57,"body":"graphic novel. And so I needed"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2219.57,"endTime":2225.1800000000003,"body":"to rewrite and change a little"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2219.57,"endTime":2225.1800000000003,"body":"bit the timeline. But yes, these"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2225.6000000000004,"endTime":2232.5,"body":"the exploration of identity and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2225.6000000000004,"endTime":2232.5,"body":"graphic journal were like this."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2233.4900000000002,"endTime":2237.78,"body":"Yeah, that makes"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2233.4900000000002,"endTime":2237.78,"body":"sense to me. And I also love how"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2237.78,"endTime":2242.52,"body":"much you know, I love a lot of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2237.78,"endTime":2242.52,"body":"your images, and then a lot of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2242.52,"endTime":2246.0600000000004,"body":"your images as well, there is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2242.52,"endTime":2246.0600000000004,"body":"like a feel, and maybe I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2246.0600000000004,"endTime":2249.27,"body":"wrong, but you tell me. But I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2246.0600000000004,"endTime":2249.27,"body":"feel like that, you know, your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2249.3,"endTime":2253.59,"body":"inner world dream world is very"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2249.3,"endTime":2253.59,"body":"important. But also there is an"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2253.59,"endTime":2258.51,"body":"element of water sometimes with"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2253.59,"endTime":2258.51,"body":"like the gender fluid mayor,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2258.51,"endTime":2262.2000000000003,"body":"people, you know, know that. So"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2258.51,"endTime":2262.2000000000003,"body":"tell me about water, and your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2262.2000000000003,"endTime":2266.4300000000003,"body":"relationship with water as the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2262.2000000000003,"endTime":2266.4300000000003,"body":"water being I want to know, I've"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2266.4300000000003,"endTime":2269.3700000000003,"body":"been wanting to ask you this"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2266.4300000000003,"endTime":2269.3700000000003,"body":"question. Because if you know,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2269.3700000000003,"endTime":2272.1000000000004,"body":"and it almost feels connected,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2269.3700000000003,"endTime":2272.1000000000004,"body":"because I feel like dreams,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2272.1000000000004,"endTime":2276.6000000000004,"body":"some, in a way bring us to this"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2272.1000000000004,"endTime":2276.6000000000004,"body":"very fluid watery place where"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2276.6000000000004,"endTime":2280.32,"body":"there's possibility. So I don't"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2276.6000000000004,"endTime":2280.32,"body":"know. I'm just curious about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2280.32,"endTime":2283.32,"body":"whether you Yes, what that means"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2280.32,"endTime":2283.32,"body":"to Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2285.21,"endTime":2288.27,"body":"you are so right,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2285.21,"endTime":2288.27,"body":"this code this connection with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2288.27,"endTime":2295.53,"body":"water? And it's funny because I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2288.27,"endTime":2295.53,"body":"didn't realize it. For example,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2295.8,"endTime":2300.21,"body":"yes. Like in the play with fire"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2295.8,"endTime":2300.21,"body":"there is all these parts of the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2300.21,"endTime":2306.6600000000003,"body":"narration in which the character"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2300.21,"endTime":2306.6600000000003,"body":"is female, and questioning their"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2308.4300000000003,"endTime":2313.6800000000003,"body":"sexuality and then there is this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2308.4300000000003,"endTime":2313.6800000000003,"body":"matter of I have to just jump in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2313.6800000000003,"endTime":2317.7000000000003,"body":"the water, but maybe not. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2313.6800000000003,"endTime":2317.7000000000003,"body":"then there is the scene in which"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2317.7000000000003,"endTime":2320.94,"body":"the character jumps and feels"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2317.7000000000003,"endTime":2320.94,"body":"like suffocating. And then there"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2320.94,"endTime":2326.1000000000004,"body":"is this fish that comes and say,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2320.94,"endTime":2326.1000000000004,"body":"just learn to swim and not to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2328.92,"endTime":2333.84,"body":"bore us with your Cancerian"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2328.92,"endTime":2333.84,"body":"stuff. And then the book also"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2333.84,"endTime":2337.86,"body":"finished with and then there is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2333.84,"endTime":2337.86,"body":"a lot of consideration allowed"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2337.9500000000003,"endTime":2344.34,"body":"around the mermaid, like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2337.9500000000003,"endTime":2344.34,"body":"character says, Okay, what is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2344.34,"endTime":2349.4100000000003,"body":"gender? And at that time, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2344.34,"endTime":2349.4100000000003,"body":"didn't know that mermaid is a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2349.4100000000003,"endTime":2355.5600000000004,"body":"symbol of trans Ness, I could Id"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2349.4100000000003,"endTime":2355.5600000000004,"body":"No. And so and the character say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2355.5600000000004,"endTime":2361.02,"body":"Okay, so are those the genitals"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2355.5600000000004,"endTime":2361.02,"body":"that do the gender so if I see a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2361.02,"endTime":2366.6600000000003,"body":"mermaid that has no genitals,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2361.02,"endTime":2366.6600000000003,"body":"but I can really tell she's a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2366.6600000000003,"endTime":2372.03,"body":"female mermaid, the moment so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2366.6600000000003,"endTime":2372.03,"body":"Merman. So what, what, what sold"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2372.03,"endTime":2375.36,"body":"this, and then the end of the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2372.03,"endTime":2375.36,"body":"book, the character jump in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2375.36,"endTime":2381.1200000000003,"body":"sea, and transform in a in a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2375.36,"endTime":2381.1200000000003,"body":"mermaid, we don't know. It's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2381.1200000000003,"endTime":2383.88,"body":"like questioning about gender,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2381.1200000000003,"endTime":2383.88,"body":"but we don't know the end of the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2383.88,"endTime":2390.03,"body":"book. And so the book after"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2383.88,"endTime":2390.03,"body":"start with a guy with a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2390.03,"endTime":2394.6200000000003,"body":"mustache, which is a wishful"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2390.03,"endTime":2394.6200000000003,"body":"thinking, because I don't mind a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2394.6200000000003,"endTime":2399.6000000000004,"body":"cancer and to grow a mustache,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2394.6200000000003,"endTime":2399.6000000000004,"body":"but anyway, but my character in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2399.6000000000004,"endTime":2403.71,"body":"the book as a mustache, because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2399.6000000000004,"endTime":2403.71,"body":"it's my book, I do what I want."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2403.98,"endTime":2409.53,"body":"Exactly. The character is on the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2403.98,"endTime":2409.53,"body":"couch, and he fell asleep"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2409.5600000000004,"endTime":2413.88,"body":"watching Garmadon. And there is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2409.5600000000004,"endTime":2413.88,"body":"the song Who tells your story."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2413.88,"endTime":2417.51,"body":"And then there is this mermaid"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2413.88,"endTime":2417.51,"body":"that comes to say, who will tell"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2417.51,"endTime":2422.79,"body":"your story and the book and the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2417.51,"endTime":2422.79,"body":"book restarts? And it's fun"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2422.79,"endTime":2429.15,"body":"because so I made this little"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2422.79,"endTime":2429.15,"body":"resume of the water in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2429.15,"endTime":2435.6000000000004,"body":"narration, but it's fun because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2429.15,"endTime":2435.6000000000004,"body":"so I had a lot of work around"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2435.6000000000004,"endTime":2442.2000000000003,"body":"mermaid beach. And there is this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2435.6000000000004,"endTime":2442.2000000000003,"body":"series called meme trunks. And,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2443.67,"endTime":2448.26,"body":"and the funny thing is that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2443.67,"endTime":2448.26,"body":"used a lot, the mermaid, the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2448.26,"endTime":2452.6400000000003,"body":"under the water and all the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2448.26,"endTime":2452.6400000000003,"body":"things. And in September, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2452.6400000000003,"endTime":2457.11,"body":"started painting a new series."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2452.6400000000003,"endTime":2457.11,"body":"And I didn't realize but I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2457.11,"endTime":2461.9700000000003,"body":"started this painting. I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2457.11,"endTime":2461.9700000000003,"body":"calling this new perimeter, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2461.9700000000003,"endTime":2468.57,"body":"guess. And because it's about my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2461.9700000000003,"endTime":2468.57,"body":"body now as a new perimeter as"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2468.57,"endTime":2475.44,"body":"change, I got the top surgery"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2468.57,"endTime":2475.44,"body":"one year ago, so there is a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2475.5,"endTime":2483.27,"body":"world new experimentation of how"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2475.5,"endTime":2483.27,"body":"my body feels. And sometimes I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2483.27,"endTime":2489.21,"body":"like or sometimes I'm like, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2483.27,"endTime":2489.21,"body":"like in the in the bathroom and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2489.21,"endTime":2494.67,"body":"maybe my partner enter and I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2489.21,"endTime":2494.67,"body":"take the the sugar man or seal"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2494.7000000000003,"endTime":2499.98,"body":"the towel, the towel and it goes"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2494.7000000000003,"endTime":2499.98,"body":"like and I my boobs and then I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2499.98,"endTime":2505.4100000000003,"body":"like, oh, no, I don't have okay."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2499.98,"endTime":2505.4100000000003,"body":"So I started this painting of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2505.6800000000003,"endTime":2511.11,"body":"the new perimeter. And it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2505.6800000000003,"endTime":2511.11,"body":"still a series of self portraits"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2511.17,"endTime":2518.61,"body":"underwater. And I didn't realize"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2511.17,"endTime":2518.61,"body":"that it's connected. But it is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2518.6400000000003,"endTime":2523.77,"body":"in some way because it's like, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2518.6400000000003,"endTime":2523.77,"body":"guess I love so much swimming. I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2523.77,"endTime":2528.36,"body":"love being it's not like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2523.77,"endTime":2528.36,"body":"screaming but I love like, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2528.36,"endTime":2530.1000000000004,"body":"feel like Forca"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2531.75,"endTime":2534.48,"body":"seal I think seal"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2534.54,"endTime":2537.54,"body":"this year. For me,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2534.54,"endTime":2537.54,"body":"it's the best animal because I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2537.54,"endTime":2541.6200000000003,"body":"feel like it because it's an"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2537.54,"endTime":2541.6200000000003,"body":"animal that doesn't run very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2541.65,"endTime":2545.82,"body":"doesn't run at all on the land"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2541.65,"endTime":2545.82,"body":"is not very fast on the land"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2545.82,"endTime":2551.01,"body":"like me, I'm not very, but once"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2545.82,"endTime":2551.01,"body":"underwater is very gracious. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2551.88,"endTime":2558.57,"body":"but it's not a fish. It's a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2551.88,"endTime":2558.57,"body":"mammal. Anyway. And so I hope"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2558.57,"endTime":2564.3900000000003,"body":"that I answered that. But I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2558.57,"endTime":2564.3900000000003,"body":"guess the I am also like it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2564.3900000000003,"endTime":2570.6600000000003,"body":"very beautiful to see image of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2564.3900000000003,"endTime":2570.6600000000003,"body":"underwater scene, I feel very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2570.6600000000003,"endTime":2571.65,"body":"satisfying."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2572.7000000000003,"endTime":2575.61,"body":"Now, I love the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2572.7000000000003,"endTime":2575.61,"body":"water. And so I love all those"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2575.61,"endTime":2580.2000000000003,"body":"images of their people. I really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2575.61,"endTime":2580.2000000000003,"body":"think you tap into some"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2580.2000000000003,"endTime":2584.6400000000003,"body":"collective imaginary even when"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2580.2000000000003,"endTime":2584.6400000000003,"body":"you didn't know yet. And you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2584.6400000000003,"endTime":2589.44,"body":"know, my mom is from Sicily. So"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2584.6400000000003,"endTime":2589.44,"body":"from an island, so I was brought"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2589.44,"endTime":2593.6400000000003,"body":"up around a lot of water. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2589.44,"endTime":2593.6400000000003,"body":"like, Yes, I love all that water"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2593.67,"endTime":2598.65,"body":"imagery. Yes, it's just so"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2593.67,"endTime":2598.65,"body":"beautiful. And, and you bring"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2598.65,"endTime":2602.28,"body":"that like you also tattoo some"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2598.65,"endTime":2602.28,"body":"of your mirror people, which is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2602.28,"endTime":2605.79,"body":"really exciting. And, and we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2602.28,"endTime":2605.79,"body":"haven't really talked about your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2605.82,"endTime":2609.75,"body":"tattooing work. But I am really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2605.82,"endTime":2609.75,"body":"curious because, you know, we're"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2609.75,"endTime":2613.6200000000003,"body":"both Gen Xers you know, we're"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2609.75,"endTime":2613.6200000000003,"body":"both Gen X. And I don't know"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2613.6200000000003,"endTime":2618.1200000000003,"body":"about you, but growing up in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2613.6200000000003,"endTime":2618.1200000000003,"body":"Italy, like when people thought"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2618.1200000000003,"endTime":2621.75,"body":"I was a girl tattoos were not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2618.1200000000003,"endTime":2621.75,"body":"really a thing where I was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2621.75,"endTime":2625.32,"body":"pretty edgy. When I first got my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2621.75,"endTime":2625.32,"body":"girl my first step do you know"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2625.32,"endTime":2628.5600000000004,"body":"my mom was like, oh my god, what"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2625.32,"endTime":2628.5600000000004,"body":"have you done? You know, and now"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2628.5600000000004,"endTime":2633.15,"body":"like, I was covered in them, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2628.5600000000004,"endTime":2633.15,"body":"know when we go to the seaside,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2633.51,"endTime":2636.9,"body":"but it's like, how did you come"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2633.51,"endTime":2636.9,"body":"to your journey as a tattoo"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2636.9300000000003,"endTime":2640.6200000000003,"body":"artist? You know, and it's like,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2636.9300000000003,"endTime":2640.6200000000003,"body":"like I said, maybe your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2640.6200000000003,"endTime":2643.23,"body":"experience was different, but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2640.6200000000003,"endTime":2643.23,"body":"definitely there was like a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2643.23,"endTime":2648.27,"body":"little bit of like, frowning"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2643.23,"endTime":2648.27,"body":"upon tattoos for girls again in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2648.27,"endTime":2652.44,"body":"air quotes when I was growing up"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2648.27,"endTime":2652.44,"body":"in like the 70s 80s You know, I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2652.5600000000004,"endTime":2655.6200000000003,"body":"mean, I know you're a little"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2652.5600000000004,"endTime":2655.6200000000003,"body":"younger than me. But yes,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2655.6800000000003,"endTime":2660.36,"body":"no, but it's like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2655.6800000000003,"endTime":2660.36,"body":"very same for example, the first"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2660.3900000000003,"endTime":2670.0800000000004,"body":"I got in the 90s when I was at"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2660.3900000000003,"endTime":2670.0800000000004,"body":"retail, the ice ice snow small"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2670.0800000000004,"endTime":2676.6800000000003,"body":"tattoos. And then when I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2670.0800000000004,"endTime":2676.6800000000003,"body":"finished high school i i got"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2676.6800000000003,"endTime":2686.1600000000003,"body":"this forearm that too, and my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2676.6800000000003,"endTime":2686.1600000000003,"body":"mother didn't knew about this so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2686.1600000000003,"endTime":2691.92,"body":"I was always like with long"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2686.1600000000003,"endTime":2691.92,"body":"sleeves covered up. My mother"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2691.92,"endTime":2698.46,"body":"was you're not odd. No, I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2691.92,"endTime":2698.46,"body":"okay. I'm very good. And and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2698.46,"endTime":2704.52,"body":"then I got sick in July. So I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2698.46,"endTime":2704.52,"body":"got the twins during the winter"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2704.52,"endTime":2711.69,"body":"in July I got sick with how do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2704.52,"endTime":2711.69,"body":"you call mononucleosis"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2712.02,"endTime":2716.07,"body":"mono mono mono"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2712.02,"endTime":2716.07,"body":"mono and I it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2716.07,"endTime":2721.8900000000003,"body":"a period of my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2716.07,"endTime":2721.8900000000003,"body":"younger time I was a very very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2722.76,"endTime":2727.92,"body":"COVID Circle law you do not say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2722.76,"endTime":2727.92,"body":"I used to go to risk taker Yes,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2727.9500000000003,"endTime":2732.42,"body":"risk taker going to the right"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2727.9500000000003,"endTime":2732.42,"body":"party taking drugs Uh, sorry for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2732.42,"endTime":2736.86,"body":"people. I don't do This anymore"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2732.42,"endTime":2736.86,"body":"a look it can be maybe not very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2736.86,"endTime":2741.09,"body":"fun to hear this. But it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2736.86,"endTime":2741.09,"body":"long time ago. So all is good."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2741.3300000000004,"endTime":2744.9300000000003,"body":"But at the time, at that time I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2741.3300000000004,"endTime":2744.9300000000003,"body":"got, I wasn't very good in my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2744.96,"endTime":2752.73,"body":"myself, my life. So I did this."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2744.96,"endTime":2752.73,"body":"And I saw this, the mono eating"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2752.73,"endTime":2757.23,"body":"is very hard I was I got to the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2752.73,"endTime":2757.23,"body":"hospital. And I was like, like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2757.23,"endTime":2764.1000000000004,"body":"these, and they got my leave my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2757.23,"endTime":2764.1000000000004,"body":"leave to just take a blood test"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2764.1000000000004,"endTime":2769.2000000000003,"body":"and my mother was there and was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2764.1000000000004,"endTime":2769.2000000000003,"body":"like, and at the time, it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2769.2000000000003,"endTime":2775.65,"body":"like 1998 and a big forearm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2769.2000000000003,"endTime":2775.65,"body":"tattoo was a big deal. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2775.6800000000003,"endTime":2777.48,"body":"absolutely would"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2775.6800000000003,"endTime":2777.48,"body":"be a big deal. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2778.77,"endTime":2781.6200000000003,"body":"I did like I did"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2778.77,"endTime":2781.6200000000003,"body":"it for this. And I was like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2781.6200000000003,"endTime":2787.02,"body":"getting tattoo here. So I will"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2781.6200000000003,"endTime":2787.02,"body":"never go work in an office or in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2787.02,"endTime":2791.3100000000004,"body":"the bank or I don't know, I this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2787.02,"endTime":2791.3100000000004,"body":"this kind of statement. And now"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2791.34,"endTime":2796.32,"body":"for example, in France, in my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2791.34,"endTime":2796.32,"body":"bank, there is a lawyer and the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2796.32,"endTime":2804.63,"body":"tools and so and anyway. And so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2796.32,"endTime":2804.63,"body":"it was a very big deal. And then"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2804.6600000000003,"endTime":2811.7400000000002,"body":"I went and I work at in this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2804.6600000000003,"endTime":2811.7400000000002,"body":"tattoo shop in San Giovanni"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2811.7400000000002,"endTime":2820.44,"body":"neighbor, the neighbor in Rome."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2811.7400000000002,"endTime":2820.44,"body":"And it was a very, very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2820.4700000000003,"endTime":2822.9,"body":"misogynistic. Absolutely. It's a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2822.9,"endTime":2825.6600000000003,"body":"very male"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2822.9,"endTime":2825.6600000000003,"body":"dominated industry needle. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2825.6600000000003,"endTime":2828.3,"body":"like, Yeah, that. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2828.3300000000004,"endTime":2832.5,"body":"then I went living"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2828.3300000000004,"endTime":2832.5,"body":"in Paris, like the year one of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2832.5,"endTime":2836.5800000000004,"body":"two year later, and I remember I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2832.5,"endTime":2836.5800000000004,"body":"was working at tattoo shop, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2836.5800000000004,"endTime":2844.38,"body":"I was doing just the piercing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2836.5800000000004,"endTime":2844.38,"body":"but also like, needles, the time"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2844.4100000000003,"endTime":2849.0600000000004,"body":"you need to sell Daddy, how do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2844.4100000000003,"endTime":2849.0600000000004,"body":"you say,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2850.38,"endTime":2856.38,"body":"Oh my God. The"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2850.38,"endTime":2856.38,"body":"word is still the least escaping"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2856.38,"endTime":2861.0600000000004,"body":"me. soldiering. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2856.38,"endTime":2861.0600000000004,"body":"called soldiering or something."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2863.34,"endTime":2867.51,"body":"of taking the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2863.34,"endTime":2867.51,"body":"appointment and in the me I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2867.75,"endTime":2872.61,"body":"I were working there, but while"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2867.75,"endTime":2872.61,"body":"doing an illustration school,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2872.9700000000003,"endTime":2879.51,"body":"and so I was drawing and doing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2872.9700000000003,"endTime":2879.51,"body":"piercing in the shop and I got a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2879.51,"endTime":2883.1400000000003,"body":"tooth and I wanted to start"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2879.51,"endTime":2883.1400000000003,"body":"doing but at the time, that was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2883.1400000000003,"endTime":2888.1800000000003,"body":"what was misogynistic, not open"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2883.1400000000003,"endTime":2888.1800000000003,"body":"at all to different styles, it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2888.1800000000003,"endTime":2893.4300000000003,"body":"was these kinds of styles, there"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2888.1800000000003,"endTime":2893.4300000000003,"body":"is no illustration or strange"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2893.46,"endTime":2898.8,"body":"themes. No, this way. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2893.46,"endTime":2898.8,"body":"remember once telling I want to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2898.8,"endTime":2902.3700000000003,"body":"start to I would like to start."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2898.8,"endTime":2902.3700000000003,"body":"And at the time, people perceive"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2902.3700000000003,"endTime":2908.73,"body":"me as female as a young girl."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2902.3700000000003,"endTime":2908.73,"body":"And this. This tattooer was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2908.73,"endTime":2913.53,"body":"there. It was all about this guy"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2908.73,"endTime":2913.53,"body":"was horrible. Like the guy would"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2913.53,"endTime":2919.38,"body":"go to do sport combat. Came back"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2913.53,"endTime":2919.38,"body":"to the shop, we wanted to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2919.38,"endTime":2922.6200000000003,"body":"demonstrate on me, I yesterday,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2919.38,"endTime":2922.6200000000003,"body":"we learned this and this and I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2922.6200000000003,"endTime":2926.79,"body":"was like, Oh, please don't."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2922.6200000000003,"endTime":2926.79,"body":"Don't hurt me. And it was like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2926.88,"endTime":2933.2400000000002,"body":"and then you say, female canta"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2926.88,"endTime":2933.2400000000002,"body":"to because female is very small."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2933.27,"endTime":2936.9300000000003,"body":"And that doesn't have the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2933.27,"endTime":2936.9300000000003,"body":"strength to do the to do that is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2936.9300000000003,"endTime":2938.73,"body":"not true? And see Oh,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2938.73,"endTime":2940.8300000000004,"body":"that is so not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2938.73,"endTime":2940.8300000000004,"body":"true. It's like that's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":2940.8300000000004,"endTime":2941.73,"body":"ridiculous."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2943.2000000000003,"endTime":2946.92,"body":"So it was very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2943.2000000000003,"endTime":2946.92,"body":"strange. And but then it were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2946.92,"endTime":2952.5,"body":"about a moment. Like it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2946.92,"endTime":2952.5,"body":"2001. And there were few that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2952.5,"endTime":2957.3,"body":"were in France that started"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2952.5,"endTime":2957.3,"body":"doing things that wasn't that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2957.3,"endTime":2961.53,"body":"we're all but was very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2957.3,"endTime":2961.53,"body":"illustration style. It wasn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2961.53,"endTime":2966.69,"body":"the case for Italy, Italy. Or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2961.53,"endTime":2966.69,"body":"this was very, very good at"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2966.8100000000004,"endTime":2972.84,"body":"traditional tattoos. But it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2966.8100000000004,"endTime":2972.84,"body":"wasn't still very open to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2972.8700000000003,"endTime":2982.77,"body":"illustration in tattoo. And any"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2972.8700000000003,"endTime":2982.77,"body":"took me like more than 10 years"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2982.8,"endTime":2988.5600000000004,"body":"before starting doing tattoo. i"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2982.8,"endTime":2988.5600000000004,"body":"i The moment I said, Okay, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2988.5600000000004,"endTime":2993.3900000000003,"body":"know what, I don't give a fuck."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2988.5600000000004,"endTime":2993.3900000000003,"body":"Sorry for that. I was like, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2993.3900000000003,"endTime":2997.8300000000004,"body":"don't care. I want to do this."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2993.3900000000003,"endTime":2997.8300000000004,"body":"And in the meantime, the Society"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2997.8300000000004,"endTime":3002.9300000000003,"body":"of the two in the world of the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":2997.8300000000004,"endTime":3002.9300000000003,"body":"three Act changed a little. But"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3002.9300000000003,"endTime":3010.8500000000004,"body":"I realized that I feel like 20"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3002.9300000000003,"endTime":3010.8500000000004,"body":"and more 25 years later, I still"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3010.88,"endTime":3018.2000000000003,"body":"have this imposter syndrome. Not"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3010.88,"endTime":3018.2000000000003,"body":"like when I talk to I always"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3018.2000000000003,"endTime":3021.2000000000003,"body":"said, I don't have impostor"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3018.2000000000003,"endTime":3021.2000000000003,"body":"syndrome, you know, something,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3021.23,"endTime":3026.09,"body":"something I don't have. And once"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3021.23,"endTime":3026.09,"body":"I realized that maybe a few"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3026.09,"endTime":3030.8900000000003,"body":"months ago, once I was tattooing"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3026.09,"endTime":3030.8900000000003,"body":"and I realized that every time I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3030.8900000000003,"endTime":3036.71,"body":"talk to I always think And now"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3030.8900000000003,"endTime":3036.71,"body":"somebody will arrive and see me"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3036.71,"endTime":3040.9700000000003,"body":"too and say, and realize that I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3036.71,"endTime":3040.9700000000003,"body":"am not able to total will see"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3040.9700000000003,"endTime":3046.5800000000004,"body":"that I can't do it. And when I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3040.9700000000003,"endTime":3046.5800000000004,"body":"see myself from like, from above"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3046.5800000000004,"endTime":3050.3900000000003,"body":"or doing this and it was like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3046.5800000000004,"endTime":3050.3900000000003,"body":"actually, this is the big"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3050.3900000000003,"endTime":3057.1400000000003,"body":"impostor syndrome and I, now I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3050.3900000000003,"endTime":3057.1400000000003,"body":"don't have it anymore. And also,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3057.17,"endTime":3062.42,"body":"I don't care. But I realized"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3057.17,"endTime":3062.42,"body":"that I have this pressure of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3062.42,"endTime":3066.17,"body":"okay, my lines, I have to be"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3062.42,"endTime":3066.17,"body":"perfect my colors and my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3066.17,"endTime":3072.23,"body":"shading, and I have to prove"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3066.17,"endTime":3072.23,"body":"that I'm, like, something that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3072.23,"endTime":3077.63,"body":"is difficult to debunk. And, of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3072.23,"endTime":3077.63,"body":"course, yes,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3078.3500000000004,"endTime":3080.57,"body":"that makes sense."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3078.3500000000004,"endTime":3080.57,"body":"I have a I have that with"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3080.57,"endTime":3083.6000000000004,"body":"writing, every time I write and,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3080.57,"endTime":3083.6000000000004,"body":"or a new book comes out and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3083.6000000000004,"endTime":3086.36,"body":"people are like, are you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3083.6000000000004,"endTime":3086.36,"body":"excited, and I'm like, I feel"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3086.36,"endTime":3091.55,"body":"like I'm gonna bomb it. I'm so"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3086.36,"endTime":3091.55,"body":"nervous. Because now everybody's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3091.55,"endTime":3095.2400000000002,"body":"gonna see that I can't write to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3091.55,"endTime":3095.2400000000002,"body":"or they're, or they're not very"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3095.2400000000002,"endTime":3098.6600000000003,"body":"smart, or that somehow, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3095.2400000000002,"endTime":3098.6600000000003,"body":"know, it feels like it's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3098.69,"endTime":3102.6800000000003,"body":"exposing, because then your work"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3098.69,"endTime":3102.6800000000003,"body":"is out there. And in a way with"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3102.6800000000003,"endTime":3106.3100000000004,"body":"tattoos, your work is out there"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3102.6800000000003,"endTime":3106.3100000000004,"body":"to once it's on the skin. It's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3106.3100000000004,"endTime":3109.4900000000002,"body":"on the skin. Right? You you've"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3106.3100000000004,"endTime":3109.4900000000002,"body":"put it out there, and it's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3109.4900000000002,"endTime":3114.53,"body":"permanent. And so I'm so happy"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3109.4900000000002,"endTime":3114.53,"body":"to hear you say like, I saw it,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3114.59,"endTime":3118.19,"body":"and I let it go. And but it"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3114.59,"endTime":3118.19,"body":"takes a lot of work to do that."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3118.67,"endTime":3119.15,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3119.48,"endTime":3125.3300000000004,"body":"Yes. Being very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3119.48,"endTime":3125.3300000000004,"body":"vigilant, even though vigilant"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3125.7200000000003,"endTime":3132.23,"body":"evoked me a energy of like being"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3125.7200000000003,"endTime":3132.23,"body":"like this, but like witness of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3132.26,"endTime":3137.75,"body":"what I'm talking and just"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3132.26,"endTime":3137.75,"body":"realize, okay, it's the scary"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3137.75,"endTime":3143.0600000000004,"body":"one again, that told in my mind,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3137.75,"endTime":3143.0600000000004,"body":"the one we're, as he's afraid of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3143.0600000000004,"endTime":3150.0800000000004,"body":"this random that were from 20"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3143.0600000000004,"endTime":3150.0800000000004,"body":"years ago, the guy I now I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3150.0800000000004,"endTime":3154.52,"body":"realized that he was like, our"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3150.0800000000004,"endTime":3154.52,"body":"rebar. And you're always smells"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3154.52,"endTime":3159.5600000000004,"body":"like, you always smell you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3154.52,"endTime":3159.5600000000004,"body":"always. So I don't care about"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3159.5600000000004,"endTime":3164.51,"body":"him. He was like, the guy go to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3159.5600000000004,"endTime":3164.51,"body":"the gym, and then come and don't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3164.51,"endTime":3170.09,"body":"wash himself and then try they"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3164.51,"endTime":3170.09,"body":"their combat team on me. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3170.7200000000003,"endTime":3175.55,"body":"misogynistic. And why am I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3170.7200000000003,"endTime":3175.55,"body":"afraid of what this person that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3175.55,"endTime":3177.53,"body":"I never seen any more things?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3175.55,"endTime":3177.53,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3178.61,"endTime":3181.19,"body":"Because we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3178.61,"endTime":3181.19,"body":"internalize all those messages,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3181.3700000000003,"endTime":3185.36,"body":"when that's where that Italian,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3181.3700000000003,"endTime":3185.36,"body":"especially from Rome, Rome,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3185.36,"endTime":3190.79,"body":"match it up? Stick, it can help."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3185.36,"endTime":3190.79,"body":"Because it can be like, hang on"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3190.79,"endTime":3194.0600000000004,"body":"a minute, right? Why is this"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3190.79,"endTime":3194.0600000000004,"body":"person having power over me,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3194.0600000000004,"endTime":3199.04,"body":"right? That I love. So much of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3194.0600000000004,"endTime":3199.04,"body":"your story is really about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3199.6400000000003,"endTime":3203.54,"body":"pushing boundaries, following"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3199.6400000000003,"endTime":3203.54,"body":"your gut, following your heart"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3203.54,"endTime":3207.05,"body":"following what you want, right?"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3203.54,"endTime":3207.05,"body":"And what you know, to be true"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3207.05,"endTime":3210.05,"body":"for yourself. I know, we're"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3207.05,"endTime":3210.05,"body":"almost out of time. But one"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3210.05,"endTime":3212.8100000000004,"body":"thing I haven't asked you, which"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3210.05,"endTime":3212.8100000000004,"body":"I really want to ask, because I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3212.8100000000004,"endTime":3218.75,"body":"think it feels so close to, you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3212.8100000000004,"endTime":3218.75,"body":"know, my own experience. And in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3218.75,"endTime":3222.6800000000003,"body":"some ways, it's like, how did he"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3218.75,"endTime":3222.6800000000003,"body":"go coming out as trans with your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3222.86,"endTime":3226.2200000000003,"body":"Italian family? Because that was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3222.86,"endTime":3226.2200000000003,"body":"definitely I think, like, I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3226.2200000000003,"endTime":3229.4,"body":"mean, I guess coming out of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3226.2200000000003,"endTime":3229.4,"body":"strands was on top of a lot of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3229.4,"endTime":3233.9,"body":"coming out for me at that point."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3229.4,"endTime":3233.9,"body":"You know, it's just one more"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3233.9,"endTime":3236.75,"body":"thing. But I wonder what it was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3233.9,"endTime":3236.75,"body":"like for you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3237.71,"endTime":3241.07,"body":"to say one more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3237.71,"endTime":3241.07,"body":"thing that I did the black sheep"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3241.07,"endTime":3242.0,"body":"of the family."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3242.6000000000004,"endTime":3245.84,"body":"You're also the black"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3242.6000000000004,"endTime":3245.84,"body":"sheep of the family, sheep of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3245.84,"endTime":3249.1400000000003,"body":"the family that doesn't live"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3245.84,"endTime":3249.1400000000003,"body":"close"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3249.1400000000003,"endTime":3251.96,"body":"to their family"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3249.1400000000003,"endTime":3251.96,"body":"buys in another country? Yes."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3252.29,"endTime":3257.03,"body":"Yes. It's all the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3252.29,"endTime":3257.03,"body":"same. And it's so it's fun,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3257.03,"endTime":3263.6000000000004,"body":"because more than one time, even"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3257.03,"endTime":3263.6000000000004,"body":"when I was like, coming out in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3263.6000000000004,"endTime":3267.71,"body":"my sexuality, I had people not"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3263.6000000000004,"endTime":3267.71,"body":"from my family, but sometimes"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3267.71,"endTime":3272.1800000000003,"body":"people from Italy that use the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3267.71,"endTime":3272.1800000000003,"body":"fact that I had a daughter as a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3272.1800000000003,"endTime":3276.4100000000003,"body":"leverage, like, yes, please, you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3272.1800000000003,"endTime":3276.4100000000003,"body":"have a daughter. And I was like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3276.4100000000003,"endTime":3280.04,"body":"especially because I have a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3276.4100000000003,"endTime":3280.04,"body":"daughter I want to be very good."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3280.2200000000003,"endTime":3287.1200000000003,"body":"Very well and teach error that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3280.2200000000003,"endTime":3287.1200000000003,"body":"you can be yourself. And and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3287.1200000000003,"endTime":3291.8300000000004,"body":"then my family it was very fun."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3287.1200000000003,"endTime":3291.8300000000004,"body":"I don't know. It was a strange"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3291.8300000000004,"endTime":3300.44,"body":"time because like, before I came"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3291.8300000000004,"endTime":3300.44,"body":"out, I guess. It was like the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3300.44,"endTime":3306.53,"body":"summer of 2020. I started the my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3300.44,"endTime":3306.53,"body":"social transition coming out to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3306.53,"endTime":3313.82,"body":"few people but couldn't manage"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3306.53,"endTime":3313.82,"body":"to came out. Really official"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3313.82,"endTime":3318.6800000000003,"body":"because what happened? So I had"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3313.82,"endTime":3318.6800000000003,"body":"my paper from the therapist,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3318.6800000000003,"endTime":3324.77,"body":"they say, Okay, you have the the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3318.6800000000003,"endTime":3324.77,"body":"validation of the dysphoria,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3324.77,"endTime":3326.27,"body":"you've done"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3324.77,"endTime":3326.27,"body":"enough therapy."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3328.55,"endTime":3332.9900000000002,"body":"Or you can do it."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3328.55,"endTime":3332.9900000000002,"body":"Okay, and I get this and so I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3332.9900000000002,"endTime":3338.3900000000003,"body":"feel I felt safe. came to came"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3332.9900000000002,"endTime":3338.3900000000003,"body":"out came out to come out to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3338.3900000000003,"endTime":3343.04,"body":"people around me. But then I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3338.3900000000003,"endTime":3343.04,"body":"went to the endocrinologist and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3343.04,"endTime":3347.75,"body":"then i She was my first"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3343.04,"endTime":3347.75,"body":"endocrinology was a mess anyway,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3347.75,"endTime":3352.46,"body":"from somewhere I get the the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3347.75,"endTime":3352.46,"body":"appointment in November. And so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3352.5800000000004,"endTime":3357.17,"body":"for me until I was and like,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3352.5800000000004,"endTime":3357.17,"body":"starting the testosterone"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3357.17,"endTime":3362.1200000000003,"body":"couldn't manage to say to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3357.17,"endTime":3362.1200000000003,"body":"because now I realize it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3363.11,"endTime":3366.32,"body":"not, but at the time it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3363.11,"endTime":3366.32,"body":"like, okay, like, I didn't want"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3366.32,"endTime":3371.03,"body":"to jinx it in some way. It's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3366.32,"endTime":3371.03,"body":"crazy to say this, but no,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3371.03,"endTime":3371.9300000000003,"body":"it makes sense."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3374.03,"endTime":3379.1000000000004,"body":"And, and also,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3374.03,"endTime":3379.1000000000004,"body":"don't do this at home. But I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3379.1000000000004,"endTime":3383.69,"body":"started this testosterone before"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3379.1000000000004,"endTime":3383.69,"body":"because my friend gave it to me."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3383.69,"endTime":3388.28,"body":"And it was like, I was like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3383.69,"endTime":3388.28,"body":"doing very micro dosing just to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3388.6400000000003,"endTime":3396.32,"body":"feel like I was doing it. And so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3388.6400000000003,"endTime":3396.32,"body":"then before so this official, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3396.32,"endTime":3400.25,"body":"needed to have this final"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3396.32,"endTime":3400.25,"body":"validation. I went in Rome for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3400.25,"endTime":3406.94,"body":"summer, and my family understand"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3400.25,"endTime":3406.94,"body":"something that was something"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3406.94,"endTime":3412.7000000000003,"body":"where was was going on. And it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3406.94,"endTime":3412.7000000000003,"body":"was very fun because my father,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3412.73,"endTime":3417.92,"body":"which is something he's very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3412.73,"endTime":3417.92,"body":"present and very love loving, at"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3417.92,"endTime":3421.4900000000002,"body":"that time was like, couldn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3417.92,"endTime":3421.4900000000002,"body":"cope with this. So it was like a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3421.4900000000002,"endTime":3426.02,"body":"little bit like, took the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3421.4900000000002,"endTime":3426.02,"body":"distance. And even though one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3426.05,"endTime":3430.67,"body":"one day we took me and we with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3426.05,"endTime":3430.67,"body":"the scooter and we weren't like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3431.3,"endTime":3437.21,"body":"all like gnanamoorthy style"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3431.3,"endTime":3437.21,"body":"doing food. And then we take a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3437.21,"endTime":3442.04,"body":"coffee in in near Costa"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3437.21,"endTime":3442.04,"body":"Santangelo, which is my favorite"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3442.04,"endTime":3448.73,"body":"place. area I love. And it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3442.04,"endTime":3448.73,"body":"couldn't, it was something I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3448.73,"endTime":3453.23,"body":"couldn't process it because and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3448.73,"endTime":3453.23,"body":"I couldn't express it because I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3453.23,"endTime":3458.3900000000003,"body":"was protecting my identity. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3453.23,"endTime":3458.3900000000003,"body":"I couldn't manage to say it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3458.3900000000003,"endTime":3462.8300000000004,"body":"like this no big deal. And it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3458.3900000000003,"endTime":3462.8300000000004,"body":"was like very defensive. So the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3462.8300000000004,"endTime":3465.8900000000003,"body":"communication communication"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3462.8300000000004,"endTime":3465.8900000000003,"body":"wasn't very good. I just"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3465.8900000000003,"endTime":3469.76,"body":"remember that I felt this very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3465.8900000000003,"endTime":3469.76,"body":"big, big, big euphoria in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3469.76,"endTime":3475.88,"body":"letting all my year, Haier grow."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3469.76,"endTime":3475.88,"body":"Where you come from Italy, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3475.88,"endTime":3481.6400000000003,"body":"you are read as a female a year"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3475.88,"endTime":3481.6400000000003,"body":"is a very big deal. It is. It"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3481.6400000000003,"endTime":3485.1200000000003,"body":"is. And my father was like, What"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3481.6400000000003,"endTime":3485.1200000000003,"body":"are you doing? You're letting"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3485.1200000000003,"endTime":3490.9100000000003,"body":"yourself go You were on. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3485.1200000000003,"endTime":3490.9100000000003,"body":"couldn't manage to say no. And,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3491.27,"endTime":3496.34,"body":"but in the same time, my mother,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3491.27,"endTime":3496.34,"body":"we were at the seaside. We were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3496.34,"endTime":3501.7400000000002,"body":"with my daughter at the need to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3496.34,"endTime":3501.7400000000002,"body":"know, the seaside. And my mother"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3501.7400000000002,"endTime":3507.23,"body":"started telling the story of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3501.7400000000002,"endTime":3507.23,"body":"when she was pregnant with me."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3507.4700000000003,"endTime":3515.9300000000003,"body":"And everybody and in 1978 and 79"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3507.4700000000003,"endTime":3515.9300000000003,"body":"people, we add ultrasound but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3515.9300000000003,"endTime":3523.19,"body":"not very good. And everybody say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3515.9300000000003,"endTime":3523.19,"body":"ah the belly is is a guy is it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3523.19,"endTime":3523.5800000000004,"body":"a boy."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3523.6400000000003,"endTime":3526.25,"body":"It's a boy. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3523.6400000000003,"endTime":3526.25,"body":"the shape of the belly. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3526.25,"endTime":3527.8700000000003,"body":"that's the thing. Any of that is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3526.25,"endTime":3527.8700000000003,"body":"a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3527.8700000000003,"endTime":3531.8,"body":"boy. And so they"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3527.8700000000003,"endTime":3531.8,"body":"they had this the name ready for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3531.8,"endTime":3537.4100000000003,"body":"the boy? And then they think."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3531.8,"endTime":3537.4100000000003,"body":"But if it's a girl, what we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3537.44,"endTime":3541.7000000000003,"body":"would we do, and they were"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3537.44,"endTime":3541.7000000000003,"body":"watching television, and there"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3541.7000000000003,"endTime":3545.8100000000004,"body":"was this unusual creature. I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3541.7000000000003,"endTime":3545.8100000000004,"body":"don't know if something that in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3545.8100000000004,"endTime":3549.8,"body":"US existed at the time. One"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3545.8100000000004,"endTime":3549.8,"body":"person that goes in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3549.8,"endTime":3553.19,"body":"television and say, tonight the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3549.8,"endTime":3553.19,"body":"movie is this and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3553.61,"endTime":3555.32,"body":"make the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3553.61,"endTime":3555.32,"body":"announcement literally."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3557.21,"endTime":3561.92,"body":"And Nicoleta of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3557.21,"endTime":3561.92,"body":"Samantha so they were like, but"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3561.92,"endTime":3566.7200000000003,"body":"also inequality is a good name."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3561.92,"endTime":3566.7200000000003,"body":"And so my mother told the story"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3566.7200000000003,"endTime":3572.9300000000003,"body":"of when she delivered deliver, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3566.7200000000003,"endTime":3572.9300000000003,"body":"don't know the delivery app, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3572.9300000000003,"endTime":3577.61,"body":"they say my father was in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3572.9300000000003,"endTime":3577.61,"body":"room and said Nicoleta and my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3577.61,"endTime":3581.9300000000003,"body":"mother was like, It's impossible"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3577.61,"endTime":3581.9300000000003,"body":"is jumeriah was the it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3581.9300000000003,"endTime":3586.55,"body":"impossible we say this about and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3581.9300000000003,"endTime":3586.55,"body":"they said no no, it's a girl."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3586.94,"endTime":3591.65,"body":"And she tells she told the story"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3586.94,"endTime":3591.65,"body":"to my daughter and she said like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3591.65,"endTime":3596.96,"body":"this and then she said if so she"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3591.65,"endTime":3596.96,"body":"told me it's impossible it's a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3596.96,"endTime":3600.59,"body":"boy you know it's a girl No it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3596.96,"endTime":3600.59,"body":"a boy. And then she ended the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3600.59,"endTime":3604.3700000000003,"body":"story is telling turns out I was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3600.59,"endTime":3604.3700000000003,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3605.48,"endTime":3608.9300000000003,"body":"And so your mom"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3605.48,"endTime":3608.9300000000003,"body":"could see you and like open the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3608.9300000000003,"endTime":3611.78,"body":"door for your coming out that's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3608.9300000000003,"endTime":3611.78,"body":"so beautiful."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3613.1000000000004,"endTime":3616.82,"body":"At the beginning"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3613.1000000000004,"endTime":3616.82,"body":"was like this. But then what"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3616.82,"endTime":3621.7400000000002,"body":"happened the moment I came when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3616.82,"endTime":3621.7400000000002,"body":"I came out, the situation"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3621.77,"endTime":3628.4300000000003,"body":"changed. My mother said okay, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3621.77,"endTime":3628.4300000000003,"body":"realize it's like these because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3628.61,"endTime":3633.77,"body":"even you know your grandma"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3628.61,"endTime":3633.77,"body":"bought you. This pair of ladies"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3633.8,"endTime":3638.1800000000003,"body":"jeans when you and they say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3633.8,"endTime":3638.1800000000003,"body":"people say that it was afford"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3638.1800000000003,"endTime":3643.55,"body":"the boy and your grandma said, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3638.1800000000003,"endTime":3643.55,"body":"don't care. So she was very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3644.6600000000003,"endTime":3651.2000000000003,"body":"aware of my identity. And in the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3644.6600000000003,"endTime":3651.2000000000003,"body":"meantime, when I came out, she"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3651.2000000000003,"endTime":3655.04,"body":"was like, Don't do it. Don't do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3651.2000000000003,"endTime":3655.04,"body":"it. Don't do operation. Don't do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3655.04,"endTime":3658.3700000000003,"body":"it. It's very difficult. It's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3655.04,"endTime":3658.3700000000003,"body":"don't do this. And then she"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3658.3700000000003,"endTime":3664.28,"body":"couldn't. I guess it she was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3658.3700000000003,"endTime":3664.28,"body":"afraid. God, I wonder if she was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3664.28,"endTime":3671.3900000000003,"body":"scared. Yeah, she wouldn't care."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3664.28,"endTime":3671.3900000000003,"body":"And then my father. The thing is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3671.3900000000003,"endTime":3678.23,"body":"that for a long time, did as"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3671.3900000000003,"endTime":3678.23,"body":"didn't, this didn't exist, I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3678.23,"endTime":3682.9700000000003,"body":"didn't see anything. I had to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3678.23,"endTime":3682.9700000000003,"body":"pay out more and more. And one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3682.9700000000003,"endTime":3687.92,"body":"day I say to him, I love you,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3682.9700000000003,"endTime":3687.92,"body":"Tom so much. But when you do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3687.92,"endTime":3693.5600000000004,"body":"this, for me, it's impossible."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3687.92,"endTime":3693.5600000000004,"body":"So right now, I have to cut the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3693.5600000000004,"endTime":3697.76,"body":"bridge of communication with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3693.5600000000004,"endTime":3697.76,"body":"you, not out of I don't love"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3697.76,"endTime":3702.26,"body":"you. But because of protecting"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3697.76,"endTime":3702.26,"body":"myself, of course. And then for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3702.26,"endTime":3707.3,"body":"a long time, we didn't engage in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3702.26,"endTime":3707.3,"body":"conversation, and then maybe and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3707.3,"endTime":3713.0,"body":"then we start again. And one,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3707.3,"endTime":3713.0,"body":"one time, I called him, and it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3713.0,"endTime":3721.55,"body":"was a play is read, retired, is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3713.0,"endTime":3721.55,"body":"a retired, but he plays tennis"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3721.55,"endTime":3725.96,"body":"every day, big tennis fan. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3721.55,"endTime":3725.96,"body":"so I called him and he goes as"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3725.96,"endTime":3732.38,"body":"his tennis club. And he answered"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3725.96,"endTime":3732.38,"body":"he say, Oh, my son, my son, and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3732.38,"endTime":3740.0,"body":"it was like, and so like it,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3732.38,"endTime":3740.0,"body":"maybe because I was far away,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3740.42,"endTime":3748.52,"body":"living abroad since 20 years,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3740.42,"endTime":3748.52,"body":"and over 40. And so I didn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3748.52,"endTime":3751.88,"body":"have the pressure of maybe"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3748.52,"endTime":3751.88,"body":"somebody who's younger, who came"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3751.88,"endTime":3757.01,"body":"out at home and all sorts of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3751.88,"endTime":3757.01,"body":"different things. I was able to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3757.04,"endTime":3764.27,"body":"set more boundaries that so my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3757.04,"endTime":3764.27,"body":"father come, then come on the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3764.27,"endTime":3765.8,"body":"wagon, I don't know to say"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3767.15,"endTime":3769.07,"body":"this comes on"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3767.15,"endTime":3769.07,"body":"board. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3770.15,"endTime":3774.0800000000004,"body":"But my mother was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3770.15,"endTime":3774.0800000000004,"body":"the one who was supporting since"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3774.0800000000004,"endTime":3780.1400000000003,"body":"the beginning, but then couldn't"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3774.0800000000004,"endTime":3780.1400000000003,"body":"manage to, to gender correctly"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3780.2000000000003,"endTime":3788.8700000000003,"body":"and everything. And then it was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3780.2000000000003,"endTime":3788.8700000000003,"body":"last year, we had Christmas. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3788.8700000000003,"endTime":3791.8700000000003,"body":"we had some part of the family"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3788.8700000000003,"endTime":3791.8700000000003,"body":"that I didn't know it was like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3791.8700000000003,"endTime":3799.5800000000004,"body":"the family of the the husband of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3791.8700000000003,"endTime":3799.5800000000004,"body":"my sister. And so there I say I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3799.5800000000004,"endTime":3803.8100000000004,"body":"see in front of my mother and I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3799.5800000000004,"endTime":3803.8100000000004,"body":"say okay, now, I don't care if"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3803.8100000000004,"endTime":3808.55,"body":"you call me the collector, it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3803.8100000000004,"endTime":3808.55,"body":"It's okay. I don't I guess in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3808.76,"endTime":3815.54,"body":"since I transition very late in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3808.76,"endTime":3815.54,"body":"life, and I don't feel like as a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3815.54,"endTime":3820.46,"body":"dead name. I own a yawn, or my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3815.54,"endTime":3820.46,"body":"old name and a lot of it in some"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3820.46,"endTime":3824.69,"body":"way. Because this old person"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3820.46,"endTime":3824.69,"body":"bring me brought me here. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3824.7200000000003,"endTime":3828.4700000000003,"body":"but so I say to her, but when"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3824.7200000000003,"endTime":3828.4700000000003,"body":"you do this in front of people,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3828.5,"endTime":3832.8500000000004,"body":"you put me in the spot of"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3828.5,"endTime":3832.8500000000004,"body":"telling my my story to people I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3832.8500000000004,"endTime":3837.8900000000003,"body":"don't know, that maybe can be"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3832.8500000000004,"endTime":3837.8900000000003,"body":"also put me on unsafe situation."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3838.52,"endTime":3845.09,"body":"Exact so now you this, you have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3838.52,"endTime":3845.09,"body":"to do something. And she was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3845.09,"endTime":3854.6000000000004,"body":"like, what, what do I do? And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3845.09,"endTime":3854.6000000000004,"body":"was like, you know? And so it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3854.78,"endTime":3860.75,"body":"was a little bit of parenting my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3854.78,"endTime":3860.75,"body":"parents, but also Yes. Anyway,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3860.8100000000004,"endTime":3867.0800000000004,"body":"it's, I will say for in my life,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3860.8100000000004,"endTime":3867.0800000000004,"body":"so I wasn't in danger, you know."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3869.42,"endTime":3874.3100000000004,"body":"And, but all the rest of my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3869.42,"endTime":3874.3100000000004,"body":"family, so to speak, to finish"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3874.34,"endTime":3877.9700000000003,"body":"what you asked about coming out"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3874.34,"endTime":3877.9700000000003,"body":"in Italy and the rest of my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3877.9700000000003,"endTime":3884.3,"body":"family. They were so cool. I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3877.9700000000003,"endTime":3884.3,"body":"have this group chat with the my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3884.3,"endTime":3888.71,"body":"father side and I came out with"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3884.3,"endTime":3888.71,"body":"a drawing with something Roth,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3889.1000000000004,"endTime":3893.27,"body":"everybody was like, okay, am I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3889.1000000000004,"endTime":3893.27,"body":"causing causing was like, Ah, so"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3893.27,"endTime":3898.5800000000004,"body":"cool. Because I had all female"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3893.27,"endTime":3898.5800000000004,"body":"cows in I was tired of being the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3898.5800000000004,"endTime":3904.73,"body":"only one. And so, for me, my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3898.5800000000004,"endTime":3904.73,"body":"Italian family, they were mostly"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3904.73,"endTime":3905.9,"body":"very cool from the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3905.9,"endTime":3909.0800000000004,"body":"beginning. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3905.9,"endTime":3909.0800000000004,"body":"that's amazing. And I think"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3909.0800000000004,"endTime":3912.8900000000003,"body":"also, I mean, I know it's still"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3909.0800000000004,"endTime":3912.8900000000003,"body":"really hard for people to come"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3912.8900000000003,"endTime":3917.0,"body":"out. But what's interesting is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3912.8900000000003,"endTime":3917.0,"body":"also to hear like, the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3917.0,"endTime":3920.51,"body":"acceptance but ignoring like my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3917.0,"endTime":3920.51,"body":"family did the same thing we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3920.51,"endTime":3923.3900000000003,"body":"know but we're not going to talk"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3920.51,"endTime":3923.3900000000003,"body":"about it. We're not going to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3923.3900000000003,"endTime":3926.63,"body":"acknowledge it for a long time."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3923.3900000000003,"endTime":3926.63,"body":"You know, I remember having a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3926.63,"endTime":3930.23,"body":"similar conversation with my mom"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3926.63,"endTime":3930.23,"body":"when she took me and my daughter"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3930.32,"endTime":3933.38,"body":"on holiday in Calabria because I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3930.32,"endTime":3933.38,"body":"usually always took her with me"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3933.38,"endTime":3935.69,"body":"when I was Traveling and she was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3933.38,"endTime":3935.69,"body":"like, I want to take your"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3935.69,"endTime":3938.7200000000003,"body":"knowledge and then I was like,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3935.69,"endTime":3938.7200000000003,"body":"Mom, you're gonna put me in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3938.7200000000003,"endTime":3943.73,"body":"danger if you like keep like"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3938.7200000000003,"endTime":3943.73,"body":"gendering me incorrectly. And"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3943.73,"endTime":3946.1000000000004,"body":"she's like, but nobody thinks"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3943.73,"endTime":3946.1000000000004,"body":"I'm a man. I was like, first of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3946.1000000000004,"endTime":3949.19,"body":"all, you don't know what people"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3946.1000000000004,"endTime":3949.19,"body":"think. Yeah. Second of all, I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3949.19,"endTime":3952.61,"body":"was like, this is not just about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3949.19,"endTime":3952.61,"body":"you. It's about how I move in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3952.61,"endTime":3957.44,"body":"the world. But again, that it"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3952.61,"endTime":3957.44,"body":"was so hard for her to hear,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3957.4700000000003,"endTime":3962.3,"body":"right, because but, but then"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3957.4700000000003,"endTime":3962.3,"body":"like, my schoolmates from high"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3962.3,"endTime":3965.42,"body":"school, they have a group chat,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3962.3,"endTime":3965.42,"body":"you know, we reconnected and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3965.63,"endTime":3970.4900000000002,"body":"they were like, what's new? And"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3965.63,"endTime":3970.4900000000002,"body":"I'm like, Well, my gender. And"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3970.4900000000002,"endTime":3973.13,"body":"everybody was really cool about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3970.4900000000002,"endTime":3973.13,"body":"it. I think there's just a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3973.13,"endTime":3976.4900000000002,"body":"different awareness that's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3973.13,"endTime":3976.4900000000002,"body":"happening. You know, there was"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3976.4900000000002,"endTime":3981.17,"body":"no, I never seen a trans man,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3976.4900000000002,"endTime":3981.17,"body":"then you are growing up in the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3981.17,"endTime":3985.67,"body":"70s or 80s, in Italy. So now I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3981.17,"endTime":3985.67,"body":"think it's very different. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3985.7000000000003,"endTime":3989.8700000000003,"body":"it's still difficult, but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3985.7000000000003,"endTime":3989.8700000000003,"body":"different than it was 20 or 30,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":3989.8700000000003,"endTime":3991.01,"body":"or 40 years ago."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3991.28,"endTime":3995.09,"body":"Yes, I guess it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3991.28,"endTime":3995.09,"body":"the more you have an example."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3995.09,"endTime":4000.1000000000004,"body":"And the more there is this"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":3995.09,"endTime":4000.1000000000004,"body":"ripple effect. And so, but the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4000.76,"endTime":4005.6200000000003,"body":"So the funny thing is, like, as"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4000.76,"endTime":4005.6200000000003,"body":"you say, but for my mother, for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4005.6200000000003,"endTime":4010.3,"body":"example, was like, you're at the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4005.6200000000003,"endTime":4010.3,"body":"restaurant, and the waiter come"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4010.36,"endTime":4014.8300000000004,"body":"and my mother is like, okay, for"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4010.36,"endTime":4014.8300000000004,"body":"me beer and for my daughter, a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4014.8300000000004,"endTime":4018.13,"body":"co worker or something like"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4014.8300000000004,"endTime":4018.13,"body":"this. And the first time the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4018.13,"endTime":4020.92,"body":"summer they look at me, they"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4018.13,"endTime":4020.92,"body":"were and it was like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4020.9500000000003,"endTime":4026.32,"body":"when you you say for my daughter"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4020.9500000000003,"endTime":4026.32,"body":"and people see me and maybe I am"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4026.32,"endTime":4032.65,"body":"not shaved and it's on you Miko."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4026.32,"endTime":4032.65,"body":"Maybe people think that you talk"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4033.04,"endTime":4035.23,"body":"like, that comes like yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4033.04,"endTime":4035.23,"body":"people think"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4035.23,"endTime":4037.51,"body":"you have"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4035.23,"endTime":4037.51,"body":"dementia. Like I said that to my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4037.51,"endTime":4040.4500000000003,"body":"mom. I was like, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4037.51,"endTime":4040.4500000000003,"body":"more I transition, the more"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4040.4500000000003,"endTime":4043.8100000000004,"body":"you're gonna look really awkward"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4040.4500000000003,"endTime":4043.8100000000004,"body":"when you say this, because"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4043.8100000000004,"endTime":4046.03,"body":"people are gonna be like, What"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4043.8100000000004,"endTime":4046.03,"body":"are you talking about?"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4047.5600000000004,"endTime":4053.4700000000003,"body":"And share one last"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4047.5600000000004,"endTime":4053.4700000000003,"body":"thing about Icarus I, I went, it"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4053.4700000000003,"endTime":4056.8300000000004,"body":"was like one year into my"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4053.4700000000003,"endTime":4056.8300000000004,"body":"transition. And I went to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4056.86,"endTime":4064.42,"body":"Torino. I got invited, because"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4056.86,"endTime":4064.42,"body":"my book play with fire won an"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4064.42,"endTime":4070.42,"body":"award for given by the Torino"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4064.42,"endTime":4070.42,"body":"pride that it was so cool. And I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4070.42,"endTime":4078.2200000000003,"body":"arrived and yet this person that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4070.42,"endTime":4078.2200000000003,"body":"organized this, that was a trans"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4078.2200000000003,"endTime":4085.27,"body":"man, and he came with these two"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4078.2200000000003,"endTime":4085.27,"body":"partner that are cisgender man."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4085.51,"endTime":4091.15,"body":"And so I, especially when you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4085.51,"endTime":4091.15,"body":"are at the beginning of the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4091.15,"endTime":4094.0600000000004,"body":"transition, the more you connect"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4091.15,"endTime":4094.0600000000004,"body":"with trans people, and the more"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4094.0600000000004,"endTime":4098.98,"body":"you feel a tone, you feel you"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4094.0600000000004,"endTime":4098.98,"body":"can relax. And so then another"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4098.98,"endTime":4103.21,"body":"trans man arrived, and we went"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4098.98,"endTime":4103.21,"body":"to the restaurant together and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4103.21,"endTime":4110.83,"body":"then and for me, I look at them"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4103.21,"endTime":4110.83,"body":"and with this big beard and and"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4110.83,"endTime":4115.75,"body":"it was like all trans man. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4110.83,"endTime":4115.75,"body":"one of them we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4115.75,"endTime":4121.39,"body":"this we're talking about that is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4115.75,"endTime":4121.39,"body":"murder say that my daughter. And"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4121.39,"endTime":4126.43,"body":"so, I realized that this never"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4121.39,"endTime":4126.43,"body":"ends also, once I watch a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4127.03,"endTime":4132.58,"body":"documentary on Marsha P Johnson."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4127.03,"endTime":4132.58,"body":"And there is the family was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4132.58,"endTime":4138.16,"body":"interviewed, that you may be"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4132.58,"endTime":4138.16,"body":"Marsha P Johnson, your family"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4138.31,"endTime":4145.96,"body":"will miss gender you will win."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4138.31,"endTime":4145.96,"body":"So now what I realized also"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4145.96,"endTime":4150.52,"body":"because I do this group support"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4145.96,"endTime":4150.52,"body":"for trans people in Rochelle,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4150.88,"endTime":4158.02,"body":"and once a month and once one"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4150.88,"endTime":4158.02,"body":"every three months, we welcome"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4158.05,"endTime":4162.97,"body":"the parents, the family, without"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4158.05,"endTime":4162.97,"body":"the children without the route"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4162.97,"endTime":4164.02,"body":"of not only children"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4164.6500000000005,"endTime":4166.24,"body":"without their"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4164.6500000000005,"endTime":4166.24,"body":"their"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4166.419,"endTime":4169.269,"body":"the transplants"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4166.419,"endTime":4169.269,"body":"people, only the family"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4169.299,"endTime":4173.799,"body":"especially because so they have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4169.299,"endTime":4173.799,"body":"a safe space to say I don't give"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4173.799,"endTime":4177.6990000000005,"body":"a fuck about gender, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4173.799,"endTime":4177.6990000000005,"body":"they can verbalize it. And we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4177.6990000000005,"endTime":4182.649,"body":"are there to say we understand"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4177.6990000000005,"endTime":4182.649,"body":"or we can engage. And so I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4182.649,"endTime":4188.859,"body":"realized with the this person in"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4182.649,"endTime":4188.859,"body":"Torino talk about this mother or"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4189.099,"endTime":4193.2390000000005,"body":"my experience now what you say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4189.099,"endTime":4193.2390000000005,"body":"are those family that we welcome"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4193.2390000000005,"endTime":4199.179,"body":"and we listen, I realized that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4193.2390000000005,"endTime":4199.179,"body":"it's not transphobia is just"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4200.319,"endTime":4205.119000000001,"body":"parenting because it's like it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4200.319,"endTime":4205.119000000001,"body":"very difficult to upgrade the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4205.179,"endTime":4207.669,"body":"the the sight"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4209.8,"endTime":4212.95,"body":"loss word or how"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4209.8,"endTime":4212.95,"body":"do you say, the gays, the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4212.9490000000005,"endTime":4218.079000000001,"body":"gays that you have"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4212.9490000000005,"endTime":4218.079000000001,"body":"on your own children, that it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4218.259,"endTime":4222.279,"body":"already difficult to understand"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4218.259,"endTime":4222.279,"body":"that your children is not to"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4222.279,"endTime":4227.859,"body":"anymore? And he has their own"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4222.279,"endTime":4227.859,"body":"life their own? You know, I do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4227.859,"endTime":4234.4890000000005,"body":"too and then also understanding"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4227.859,"endTime":4234.4890000000005,"body":"that for parents For people that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4234.4890000000005,"endTime":4238.809,"body":"are not very gender aware that"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4234.4890000000005,"endTime":4238.809,"body":"this is a thing and this is"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4238.809,"endTime":4244.359,"body":"something that stays, I guess"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4238.809,"endTime":4244.359,"body":"that make for me it make the"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4244.359,"endTime":4248.7390000000005,"body":"pressure go off. And also okay,"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4244.359,"endTime":4248.7390000000005,"body":"it's a parenting is not"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4248.769,"endTime":4254.409000000001,"body":"transphobic it's not against me."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4248.769,"endTime":4254.409000000001,"body":"Parents they do what they can do"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4254.439,"endTime":4256.269,"body":"with what they have in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4257.41,"endTime":4261.25,"body":"the moment and is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4257.41,"endTime":4261.25,"body":"there for me I think about okay"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4261.28,"endTime":4265.6,"body":"with my mom, because my that I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4261.28,"endTime":4265.6,"body":"came out as queer but that"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4265.6,"endTime":4268.51,"body":"didn't come out as trans. He"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4265.6,"endTime":4268.51,"body":"died just a couple of years"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4268.51,"endTime":4274.84,"body":"before I came out as trans 20"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4268.51,"endTime":4274.84,"body":"years ago, 21 Did my dad died,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4274.87,"endTime":4279.13,"body":"yeah, 20 years ago. And then I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4274.87,"endTime":4279.13,"body":"came out about a strand started"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4279.13,"endTime":4283.21,"body":"to come out about 18 years ago."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4279.13,"endTime":4283.21,"body":"And for me when I think about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4283.21,"endTime":4287.89,"body":"that, I think with my mom it sir"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4283.21,"endTime":4287.89,"body":"Jeremy, it's all mine. Right? I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4287.89,"endTime":4293.38,"body":"can share information. She knows"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4287.89,"endTime":4293.38,"body":"a lot of trans people. Now she's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4293.41,"endTime":4298.4800000000005,"body":"read some books, right? But"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4293.41,"endTime":4298.4800000000005,"body":"there has to be a journey when"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4298.4800000000005,"endTime":4304.12,"body":"she's ready. And there is"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4298.4800000000005,"endTime":4304.12,"body":"nothing I can do to like, change"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4304.12,"endTime":4306.88,"body":"somebody else. Right? For me,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4304.12,"endTime":4306.88,"body":"it's like what do what what can"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4306.88,"endTime":4311.89,"body":"I control, I can control me. My"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4306.88,"endTime":4311.89,"body":"emotions make myself happy. It"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4311.89,"endTime":4318.070000000001,"body":"doesn't matter how much of a man"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4311.89,"endTime":4318.070000000001,"body":"I look or a woman, whatever. In"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4318.070000000001,"endTime":4321.46,"body":"terms of what I'm trying to do."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4318.070000000001,"endTime":4321.46,"body":"Other people are gonna see me"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4321.46,"endTime":4324.76,"body":"through their filters and their"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4321.46,"endTime":4324.76,"body":"filters or not my filters. I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4325.1500000000005,"endTime":4327.7,"body":"don't know if that makes sense."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4325.1500000000005,"endTime":4327.7,"body":"But for me, I've just been"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4327.7,"endTime":4331.72,"body":"really focusing on like, what"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4327.7,"endTime":4331.72,"body":"feels authentic to me. Because,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4331.72,"endTime":4334.0,"body":"you know, and of course,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4331.72,"endTime":4334.0,"body":"considering safety and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4334.0,"endTime":4337.21,"body":"everything else. But you know,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4334.0,"endTime":4337.21,"body":"depending on the environment of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4337.21,"endTime":4341.5,"body":"bad Yes, I can. I can make my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4337.21,"endTime":4341.5,"body":"mom say the right name or"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4341.5,"endTime":4344.83,"body":"pronouns, I can only explain"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4341.5,"endTime":4344.83,"body":"what it means to me. And then"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4344.83,"endTime":4348.76,"body":"it's up to her if she you know,"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4344.83,"endTime":4348.76,"body":"it's an invitation. That's all I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4348.76,"endTime":4353.38,"body":"can do. I can control it. I can"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4348.76,"endTime":4353.38,"body":"set boundaries, but there's not"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4353.38,"endTime":4359.320000000001,"body":"much else I can do. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4353.38,"endTime":4359.320000000001,"body":"Yeah. Oh, I feel like I could"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4359.320000000001,"endTime":4363.1,"body":"have this conversation all day."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4359.320000000001,"endTime":4363.1,"body":"But I want to be respectful of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4363.1,"endTime":4368.62,"body":"your time. I always ask is there"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4363.1,"endTime":4368.62,"body":"anything we haven't talked about"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4368.6500000000005,"endTime":4371.38,"body":"that you were hoping that we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4368.6500000000005,"endTime":4371.38,"body":"would talk about Nico"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4373.54,"endTime":4378.610000000001,"body":"I guess we talk"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4373.54,"endTime":4378.610000000001,"body":"about pretty a lot of things I"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4378.610000000001,"endTime":4383.320000000001,"body":"don't think I have something"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4378.610000000001,"endTime":4383.320000000001,"body":"that come to my mind. It was"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4383.35,"endTime":4390.25,"body":"very very cool to talk to you a"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4383.35,"endTime":4390.25,"body":"pleasure honor like as I said at"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4390.25,"endTime":4395.92,"body":"the beginning and it was very"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4390.25,"endTime":4395.92,"body":"fun because I felt as you say"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4395.92,"endTime":4399.1900000000005,"body":"the remember before or after we"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4395.92,"endTime":4399.1900000000005,"body":"started the recording I felt"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4399.1900000000005,"endTime":4403.93,"body":"like we are like we know each"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4399.1900000000005,"endTime":4403.93,"body":"other since forever. So it's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4403.93,"endTime":4406.03,"body":"very good and it's cool. It's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4408.01,"endTime":4410.08,"body":"thank you and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4408.01,"endTime":4410.08,"body":"thank you because I know it's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4410.08,"endTime":4414.22,"body":"not easy to do interviews in a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4410.08,"endTime":4414.22,"body":"in a language that you don't use"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4414.22,"endTime":4417.46,"body":"every day so thank you for doing"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4414.22,"endTime":4417.46,"body":"the interview in English and I"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4417.46,"endTime":4421.18,"body":"feel the same like you know"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4417.46,"endTime":4421.18,"body":"you're such a amazing tattoo"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4421.18,"endTime":4426.49,"body":"artist artists you know graphic"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4421.18,"endTime":4426.49,"body":"artists you're beautiful award"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4426.49,"endTime":4430.12,"body":"winning you know graphic memoirs"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4426.49,"endTime":4430.12,"body":"out there so I feel really"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4430.12,"endTime":4433.81,"body":"honored but it's same like we"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4430.12,"endTime":4433.81,"body":"met on social media and with"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4433.81,"endTime":4436.96,"body":"like you know tech you know"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4433.81,"endTime":4436.96,"body":"message today on Instagram, but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4436.96,"endTime":4440.35,"body":"I feel like we know each other"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4436.96,"endTime":4440.35,"body":"maybe it's the generation the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4440.35,"endTime":4444.070000000001,"body":"culture other No, but it feels"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4440.35,"endTime":4444.070000000001,"body":"really good. So I'm very very"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4444.070000000001,"endTime":4448.3,"body":"grateful. Yes, maybe we'll do a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4444.070000000001,"endTime":4448.3,"body":"part two interview because I'm"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4448.3,"endTime":4456.46,"body":"like I have more questions but"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4448.3,"endTime":4456.46,"body":"Well, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4456.49,"endTime":4459.4000000000005,"body":"sharing your time with the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4456.49,"endTime":4459.4000000000005,"body":"gender stories listeners and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4459.4000000000005,"endTime":4462.88,"body":"dear listeners thank you for"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4459.4000000000005,"endTime":4462.88,"body":"keep listening to gender"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4462.88,"endTime":4466.99,"body":"stories. This is definitely a"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4462.88,"endTime":4466.99,"body":"labor of love. I do get to meet"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4467.02,"endTime":4471.43,"body":"some wonderful amazing people in"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4467.02,"endTime":4471.43,"body":"that process such as Nico and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4471.43,"endTime":4474.43,"body":"please do check out Nicholas"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4471.43,"endTime":4474.43,"body":"work, you can support him on"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4474.43,"endTime":4478.06,"body":"Patreon. And all those links are"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4474.43,"endTime":4478.06,"body":"going to be in the episode"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4478.06,"endTime":4483.58,"body":"description patreon.com/graphic"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4478.06,"endTime":4483.58,"body":"Journal Club. You can read this"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4483.58,"endTime":4487.42,"body":"newsletter on substack Nico"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4483.58,"endTime":4487.42,"body":"Balboa substack.com all those"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4487.42,"endTime":4490.51,"body":"links are gonna be in the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4487.42,"endTime":4490.51,"body":"episode description. And of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4490.51,"endTime":4493.360000000001,"body":"course, you can check out Nico's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4490.51,"endTime":4493.360000000001,"body":"website or Nichols cowboy"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4493.360000000001,"endTime":4498.28,"body":"studio.com. And maybe one day"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4493.360000000001,"endTime":4498.28,"body":"I'll get you to tattoo me if you"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4498.28,"endTime":4501.7,"body":"ever if I come to the States or"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4498.28,"endTime":4501.7,"body":"I come to Rome I would love"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4501.7,"endTime":4503.83,"body":"that. That's my dream Nico."},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4505.78,"endTime":4509.2300000000005,"body":"be so cool. Let's"},{"speaker":"Nicoz Balboa","startTime":4505.78,"endTime":4509.2300000000005,"body":"make it happen."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4510.37,"endTime":4514.360000000001,"body":"I love this one."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4510.37,"endTime":4514.360000000001,"body":"We're like I just the the the"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4514.360000000001,"endTime":4518.6500000000005,"body":"trans love that I feel for my"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4514.360000000001,"endTime":4518.6500000000005,"body":"community and how cool we are."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4518.6500000000005,"endTime":4522.85,"body":"It's just like it's just strong."},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4518.6500000000005,"endTime":4522.85,"body":"Well, thank you listener and"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4522.85,"endTime":4526.6900000000005,"body":"until next time, take care of"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4522.85,"endTime":4526.6900000000005,"body":"yourself. Be daring and dare to"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4526.6900000000005,"endTime":4530.17,"body":"be your authentic self. There's"},{"speaker":"Alex Iantaffi","startTime":4526.6900000000005,"endTime":4530.17,"body":"a lot of joy wherever you are."}]}