{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.256,"endTime":2.836,"body":"Hello, my friends let's shaking it today?"},{"startTime":3.136,"endTime":3.286,"body":"Now."},{"startTime":3.286,"endTime":7.486,"body":"I'm I missed you all last week, but"},{"startTime":3.286,"endTime":7.486,"body":"I took time off to take a little"},{"startTime":7.486,"endTime":11.626,"body":"trip to celebrate my 27th wedding"},{"startTime":7.486,"endTime":11.626,"body":"anniversary with my beautiful bride."},{"startTime":11.956,"endTime":16.696,"body":"We had an amazing trip to a resort in the"},{"startTime":11.956,"endTime":16.696,"body":"Florida keys, where we had an opportunity"},{"startTime":16.696,"endTime":21.671,"body":"to reconnect, recharge and remember"},{"startTime":16.696,"endTime":21.671,"body":"what makes us well, an awesome couple."},{"startTime":22.091,"endTime":25.091,"body":"I also took some time to do"},{"startTime":22.091,"endTime":25.091,"body":"some passive action, lots of"},{"startTime":25.091,"endTime":27.791,"body":"reading, podcasts and learning."},{"startTime":28.121,"endTime":31.031,"body":"So I could come back to you with"},{"startTime":28.121,"endTime":31.031,"body":"some new thoughts and ideas to share."},{"startTime":31.061,"endTime":35.381,"body":"Now I realize that not everyone"},{"startTime":31.061,"endTime":35.381,"body":"is in a fantastic relationship"},{"startTime":35.381,"endTime":38.771,"body":"or a wonderful marriage, and I"},{"startTime":35.381,"endTime":38.771,"body":"don't mean to flaunt it here."},{"startTime":38.771,"endTime":40.301,"body":"That's not the purpose of sharing."},{"startTime":40.351,"endTime":44.701,"body":"Does it mean that we don't hit"},{"startTime":40.351,"endTime":44.701,"body":"rough patches or have times when"},{"startTime":44.701,"endTime":46.051,"body":"things aren't smooth sailing?"},{"startTime":46.291,"endTime":47.431,"body":"Nope, we do."},{"startTime":47.551,"endTime":49.201,"body":"And from time to time,"},{"startTime":47.551,"endTime":49.201,"body":"that happens, right."},{"startTime":49.231,"endTime":50.191,"body":"We're human beings."},{"startTime":50.671,"endTime":54.661,"body":"They just, aren't something that"},{"startTime":50.671,"endTime":54.661,"body":"happens with much regularity."},{"startTime":54.841,"endTime":59.071,"body":"And that got me thinking, that"},{"startTime":54.841,"endTime":59.071,"body":"got me thinking about when does"},{"startTime":59.071,"endTime":61.111,"body":"a problem become a problem?"},{"startTime":62.266,"endTime":65.356,"body":"Now, one of my favorite new"},{"startTime":62.266,"endTime":65.356,"body":"teachers is Brooke Castillo."},{"startTime":65.636,"endTime":69.656,"body":"She's an amazing coach whose podcast"},{"startTime":65.636,"endTime":69.656,"body":"I'm literally addicted to right now."},{"startTime":69.656,"endTime":73.886,"body":"She's in my ear nonstop, uh, pretty"},{"startTime":69.656,"endTime":73.886,"body":"much all day every day because"},{"startTime":73.886,"endTime":75.656,"body":"she has a lot of great content."},{"startTime":75.776,"endTime":80.306,"body":"And one of the things I've learned"},{"startTime":75.776,"endTime":80.306,"body":"from her is regarding problems."},{"startTime":80.576,"endTime":84.146,"body":"And so she says a problem"},{"startTime":80.576,"endTime":84.146,"body":"becomes a problem."},{"startTime":84.386,"endTime":88.376,"body":"Only when we have a thought"},{"startTime":84.386,"endTime":88.376,"body":"that makes it a problem."},{"startTime":89.621,"endTime":91.001,"body":"I'm gonna say that one more time."},{"startTime":91.241,"endTime":97.931,"body":"A problem only becomes a problem when we"},{"startTime":91.241,"endTime":97.931,"body":"have a thought that makes it a problem."},{"startTime":98.591,"endTime":99.611,"body":"So what does that even mean?"},{"startTime":100.241,"endTime":100.481,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":100.481,"endTime":104.441,"body":"Let's say you have an interaction with"},{"startTime":100.481,"endTime":104.441,"body":"your spouse or your partner or your"},{"startTime":104.441,"endTime":105.791,"body":"child, you know, whatever it may be."},{"startTime":105.881,"endTime":106.091,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":106.091,"endTime":109.601,"body":"You choose whatever scenario that"},{"startTime":106.091,"endTime":109.601,"body":"pops into your head right now."},{"startTime":110.141,"endTime":110.471,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":110.471,"endTime":115.241,"body":"So you do have it, like, do you have the"},{"startTime":110.471,"endTime":115.241,"body":"scenario in your head, maybe something"},{"startTime":115.241,"endTime":117.281,"body":"that happened recently in an interaction."},{"startTime":118.031,"endTime":118.301,"body":"okay."},{"startTime":118.301,"endTime":118.661,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":118.991,"endTime":123.821,"body":"When you think back on that interaction,"},{"startTime":118.991,"endTime":123.821,"body":"what was the thought that was going"},{"startTime":123.821,"endTime":125.591,"body":"through your mind in that moment?"},{"startTime":125.621,"endTime":126.401,"body":"What were you thinking?"},{"startTime":127.061,"endTime":129.101,"body":"And it's just, it's just a one sentence."},{"startTime":129.491,"endTime":129.941,"body":"That's it?"},{"startTime":130.271,"endTime":131.111,"body":"One sentence."},{"startTime":132.221,"endTime":132.701,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":132.706,"endTime":138.221,"body":"So maybe it was, I can't believe he"},{"startTime":132.706,"endTime":138.221,"body":"didn't take the trash out or I can't"},{"startTime":138.221,"endTime":139.811,"body":"believe she didn't do her, her homework."},{"startTime":140.976,"endTime":144.236,"body":"Or, you know, maybe he doesn't say, I"},{"startTime":140.976,"endTime":144.236,"body":"love you enough, whatever it may be."},{"startTime":144.236,"endTime":144.476,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":144.476,"endTime":146.246,"body":"Those types of thoughts."},{"startTime":146.696,"endTime":149.006,"body":"Well, first of all, they're"},{"startTime":146.696,"endTime":149.006,"body":"full of cons contractions."},{"startTime":149.011,"endTime":151.826,"body":"Like I can't, I didn't doesn't right."},{"startTime":151.826,"endTime":157.406,"body":"Can't didn't doesn't those contractions"},{"startTime":151.826,"endTime":157.406,"body":"then turn the action or the"},{"startTime":157.406,"endTime":159.896,"body":"circumstance into a problem for you."},{"startTime":160.946,"endTime":163.016,"body":"It's not a problem that he"},{"startTime":160.946,"endTime":163.016,"body":"didn't take the trash out."},{"startTime":163.016,"endTime":167.066,"body":"It's not a problem necessarily"},{"startTime":163.016,"endTime":167.066,"body":"that she didn't do her homework."},{"startTime":167.066,"endTime":168.806,"body":"It's not a problem that he doesn't say."},{"startTime":169.181,"endTime":169.991,"body":"I love you enough."},{"startTime":169.996,"endTime":174.281,"body":"It's not necessarily a problem"},{"startTime":169.996,"endTime":174.281,"body":"until you think that it's a problem"},{"startTime":174.761,"endTime":177.221,"body":"and it's a problem for you, but"},{"startTime":174.761,"endTime":177.221,"body":"it's not a problem for them."},{"startTime":178.121,"endTime":178.391,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":178.391,"endTime":182.831,"body":"So why is that so well, because the"},{"startTime":178.391,"endTime":182.831,"body":"thought you had just in this moment,"},{"startTime":183.041,"endTime":185.891,"body":"just in this moment, as you're listening"},{"startTime":183.041,"endTime":185.891,"body":"to this episode, just in this moment,"},{"startTime":186.251,"endTime":187.961,"body":"it creates a feeling inside of you."},{"startTime":188.711,"endTime":189.011,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":189.011,"endTime":191.741,"body":"So let's take the, he didn't"},{"startTime":189.011,"endTime":191.741,"body":"take the trash out as an example."},{"startTime":192.986,"endTime":198.536,"body":"he didn't causes you to feel what"},{"startTime":192.986,"endTime":198.536,"body":"annoyed or maybe angry or maybe even sad."},{"startTime":198.536,"endTime":198.866,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":198.956,"endTime":203.786,"body":"He doesn't ever do what I ask him"},{"startTime":198.956,"endTime":203.786,"body":"to do whatever the emotion is."},{"startTime":203.786,"endTime":208.496,"body":"It puts a negative spin on"},{"startTime":203.786,"endTime":208.496,"body":"the action itself, right."},{"startTime":208.496,"endTime":209.516,"body":"The circumstance."},{"startTime":209.756,"endTime":212.306,"body":"And then that further"},{"startTime":209.756,"endTime":212.306,"body":"exacerbates the problem."},{"startTime":213.656,"endTime":213.806,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":213.806,"endTime":214.436,"body":"Why is that?"},{"startTime":214.436,"endTime":216.026,"body":"Well, that's a great question."},{"startTime":216.176,"endTime":218.186,"body":"It's because that"},{"startTime":216.176,"endTime":218.186,"body":"feeling of being annoyed."},{"startTime":219.011,"endTime":220.661,"body":"Causes you to take actions."},{"startTime":220.781,"endTime":223.541,"body":"And some of those actions may"},{"startTime":220.781,"endTime":223.541,"body":"be, you might yell, you might"},{"startTime":223.541,"endTime":225.041,"body":"scream, you might go silent."},{"startTime":225.251,"endTime":226.511,"body":"You may become indifferent."},{"startTime":227.051,"endTime":228.341,"body":"You might Huff and puff around the house."},{"startTime":228.371,"endTime":229.691,"body":"You know, whatever it may be, right."},{"startTime":229.901,"endTime":235.211,"body":"We all have reactions to circumstances"},{"startTime":229.901,"endTime":235.211,"body":"in our life, but I want, I want you"},{"startTime":235.216,"endTime":239.171,"body":"to be clear on is that those reactions"},{"startTime":235.216,"endTime":239.171,"body":"are driven by the thought that you"},{"startTime":239.171,"endTime":241.961,"body":"had about the circumstance okay."},{"startTime":242.831,"endTime":245.861,"body":"And those actions further"},{"startTime":242.831,"endTime":245.861,"body":"push the rabbit down the hole."},{"startTime":245.861,"endTime":246.041,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":246.041,"endTime":247.901,"body":"You keep pushing and"},{"startTime":246.041,"endTime":247.901,"body":"pushing and pushing it down."},{"startTime":247.901,"endTime":251.471,"body":"And the next thing you know, you're just,"},{"startTime":247.901,"endTime":251.471,"body":"you're not even talking to that person."},{"startTime":251.471,"endTime":251.771,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":251.776,"endTime":253.061,"body":"You're, you're so angry."},{"startTime":253.061,"endTime":255.341,"body":"You're so frustrated that you're"},{"startTime":253.061,"endTime":255.341,"body":"not even talking to 'em you go"},{"startTime":255.341,"endTime":259.061,"body":"to bed early, you you're ignoring"},{"startTime":255.341,"endTime":259.061,"body":"everything that person says."},{"startTime":259.121,"endTime":264.746,"body":"And that only makes the I'll I'll say"},{"startTime":259.121,"endTime":264.746,"body":"it that quote unquote  problem worse."},{"startTime":265.226,"endTime":267.326,"body":"And the reason I said, quote"},{"startTime":265.226,"endTime":267.326,"body":"unquote, because it's only a"},{"startTime":267.326,"endTime":271.676,"body":"problem because you had a thought"},{"startTime":267.326,"endTime":271.676,"body":"that then made it into a problem."},{"startTime":272.966,"endTime":273.956,"body":"See how that works."},{"startTime":275.156,"endTime":275.606,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":275.606,"endTime":280.376,"body":"Him not taking out the trash, wasn't"},{"startTime":275.606,"endTime":280.376,"body":"really a problem until you had a"},{"startTime":280.376,"endTime":284.096,"body":"thought that, Hey, that's a problem."},{"startTime":285.596,"endTime":287.546,"body":"So how do, how do we spend"},{"startTime":285.596,"endTime":287.546,"body":"this to be different?"},{"startTime":288.476,"endTime":292.286,"body":"Well, for starters, you're always"},{"startTime":288.476,"endTime":292.286,"body":"in control of your thoughts."},{"startTime":293.021,"endTime":296.801,"body":"Every single time you're in control of"},{"startTime":293.021,"endTime":296.801,"body":"your thoughts and literally no one on the"},{"startTime":296.801,"endTime":299.531,"body":"planet can make you feel anything at all."},{"startTime":300.101,"endTime":302.591,"body":"You are the only one who"},{"startTime":300.101,"endTime":302.591,"body":"can make you feel something."},{"startTime":303.221,"endTime":305.561,"body":"No one's actions can"},{"startTime":303.221,"endTime":305.561,"body":"make you feel annoyed."},{"startTime":305.591,"endTime":307.631,"body":"No one's actions can make you feel angry."},{"startTime":307.811,"endTime":311.411,"body":"No one's actions can make you"},{"startTime":307.811,"endTime":311.411,"body":"feel sad or happy or joyful"},{"startTime":312.401,"endTime":313.841,"body":"jubilant whatever it may be."},{"startTime":313.841,"endTime":317.141,"body":"Like only your thoughts"},{"startTime":313.841,"endTime":317.141,"body":"create those feeling."},{"startTime":318.716,"endTime":320.876,"body":"I'm gonna say that one more"},{"startTime":318.716,"endTime":320.876,"body":"time, cuz it's really important."},{"startTime":320.906,"endTime":323.486,"body":"Only your thoughts can create feelings."},{"startTime":324.476,"endTime":327.806,"body":"And when you learn this concept,"},{"startTime":324.476,"endTime":327.806,"body":"like it could totally change your"},{"startTime":327.806,"endTime":332.786,"body":"relationships with everyone in your life"},{"startTime":327.806,"endTime":332.786,"body":"and how amazingly cool would that be?"},{"startTime":333.146,"endTime":333.296,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":333.296,"endTime":335.756,"body":"If you just took a look at everything"},{"startTime":333.296,"endTime":335.756,"body":"and say, you know, I'm having a thought,"},{"startTime":335.756,"endTime":339.326,"body":"that's creating a feeling and I'm"},{"startTime":335.756,"endTime":339.326,"body":"just gonna that thought I'm gonna feel"},{"startTime":339.326,"endTime":340.736,"body":"the feeling I'm gonna live into it."},{"startTime":340.736,"endTime":342.356,"body":"I'm gonna know what"},{"startTime":340.736,"endTime":342.356,"body":"that feeling feels like."},{"startTime":343.016,"endTime":345.676,"body":"And then eventually I'm gonna"},{"startTime":343.016,"endTime":345.676,"body":"learn how to change that thought."},{"startTime":346.336,"endTime":349.196,"body":"So the next times there's a"},{"startTime":346.336,"endTime":349.196,"body":"circumstance or an action in your life."},{"startTime":349.196,"endTime":351.656,"body":"Like your husband not taking out"},{"startTime":349.196,"endTime":351.656,"body":"the trash, your daughter, not"},{"startTime":351.656,"endTime":353.726,"body":"doing her homework or your partner."},{"startTime":353.726,"endTime":355.526,"body":"Not saying I love you enough."},{"startTime":355.526,"endTime":359.006,"body":"Well, press pause, like press the pause"},{"startTime":355.526,"endTime":359.006,"body":"button right in that moment and ask"},{"startTime":359.336,"endTime":361.826,"body":"yourself, what am I thinking right now?"},{"startTime":362.756,"endTime":367.316,"body":"And how does that make me feel,"},{"startTime":362.756,"endTime":367.316,"body":"then ask yourself is the thought I'm"},{"startTime":367.316,"endTime":370.436,"body":"having serving me well at this moment."},{"startTime":371.786,"endTime":376.646,"body":"Is the thought one that will improve"},{"startTime":371.786,"endTime":376.646,"body":"the situation or is the thought one that"},{"startTime":376.646,"endTime":379.376,"body":"will create an absolute mess in my house?"},{"startTime":380.126,"endTime":382.556,"body":"Not an actual mess around, but no."},{"startTime":382.796,"endTime":387.056,"body":"Will it create a relationship mess then"},{"startTime":382.796,"endTime":387.056,"body":"ask yourself, like, what is a better"},{"startTime":387.061,"endTime":388.611,"body":"thought I could have at that moment?"},{"startTime":390.301,"endTime":392.996,"body":"What is a better feeling I"},{"startTime":390.301,"endTime":392.996,"body":"could have about that situation?"},{"startTime":394.211,"endTime":397.541,"body":"What would serve me best at this moment."},{"startTime":397.541,"endTime":398.931,"body":"I love that question."},{"startTime":399.311,"endTime":401.771,"body":"And the more that you can ask"},{"startTime":399.311,"endTime":401.771,"body":"that of yourself, what would"},{"startTime":401.771,"endTime":403.271,"body":"serve me best at this moment?"},{"startTime":403.541,"endTime":404.111,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":404.441,"endTime":406.811,"body":"Like it, literally your life will explode."},{"startTime":406.816,"endTime":410.621,"body":"Like it'll become so much better"},{"startTime":406.816,"endTime":410.621,"body":"when you constantly ask yourself what"},{"startTime":410.621,"endTime":412.091,"body":"would serve me best at this moment."},{"startTime":413.591,"endTime":414.401,"body":"Now don't get me wrong."},{"startTime":414.401,"endTime":420.431,"body":"Like if you need to yell and scream and"},{"startTime":414.401,"endTime":420.431,"body":"flip out, because it reduces your stress."},{"startTime":421.151,"endTime":422.081,"body":"Knock yourself out, man."},{"startTime":422.141,"endTime":423.401,"body":"Like absolutely go for it."},{"startTime":425.051,"endTime":432.281,"body":"But is that is the yelling, is the"},{"startTime":425.051,"endTime":432.281,"body":"screaming, is the flipping out serving"},{"startTime":432.281,"endTime":436.901,"body":"you well, and more importantly, is it"},{"startTime":432.281,"endTime":436.901,"body":"serving the relationship  with your"},{"startTime":436.901,"endTime":438.521,"body":"spouse, your partner, or your child?"},{"startTime":439.811,"endTime":441.671,"body":"That's just a lot of food"},{"startTime":439.811,"endTime":441.671,"body":"for thought right there."},{"startTime":442.451,"endTime":444.041,"body":"Again, and I love that question, right?"},{"startTime":444.221,"endTime":445.781,"body":"What would serve me best at this moment?"},{"startTime":445.781,"endTime":449.531,"body":"And you can use this throughout"},{"startTime":445.781,"endTime":449.531,"body":"every single moment in your day."},{"startTime":449.981,"endTime":453.731,"body":"Is that thought serving me well,"},{"startTime":449.981,"endTime":453.731,"body":"is that thought serving me?"},{"startTime":453.731,"endTime":459.281,"body":"Well, I love hearing from you all"},{"startTime":453.731,"endTime":459.281,"body":"when something resonates with you."},{"startTime":459.611,"endTime":463.571,"body":"So drop me an email at"},{"startTime":459.611,"endTime":463.571,"body":"coaching@jasonramsden.com or"},{"startTime":463.571,"endTime":467.811,"body":"shoot me a text at (781) 285-5515."},{"startTime":467.836,"endTime":469.091,"body":"I'd love to hear from you."},{"startTime":469.856,"endTime":473.816,"body":"And also, can you do me a favor,"},{"startTime":469.856,"endTime":473.816,"body":"like go ahead and click the five star"},{"startTime":473.816,"endTime":475.706,"body":"rating on iTunes and write a review."},{"startTime":476.306,"endTime":479.486,"body":"The show only grows when awesome"},{"startTime":476.306,"endTime":479.486,"body":"listeners like you take the"},{"startTime":479.491,"endTime":480.866,"body":"time to share your feedback."},{"startTime":481.796,"endTime":482.066,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":482.071,"endTime":483.236,"body":"My friends that's it for this week."},{"startTime":483.241,"endTime":486.536,"body":"Remember be willing, be"},{"startTime":483.241,"endTime":486.536,"body":"curious and be intentional."},{"startTime":486.536,"endTime":488.786,"body":"And until next week, keep doing the work."},{"startTime":488.996,"endTime":489.926,"body":"You've got this."}]}