{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.32,"endTime":3.8,"body":"Hey, Hey, Hey, my curious"},{"startTime":0.32,"endTime":3.8,"body":"friends, welcome to episode 81."},{"startTime":4.49,"endTime":7.459,"body":"You know, I've been thinking a"},{"startTime":4.49,"endTime":7.459,"body":"lot lately about relationships"},{"startTime":7.49,"endTime":9.47,"body":"and how they affect life."},{"startTime":9.83,"endTime":13.1,"body":"And what I want you to know is that"},{"startTime":9.83,"endTime":13.1,"body":"the most important relationship"},{"startTime":13.105,"endTime":15.65,"body":"in your life is with yourself."},{"startTime":16.305,"endTime":17.445,"body":"Think about that for a moment."},{"startTime":17.895,"endTime":21.495,"body":"Your relationship with"},{"startTime":17.895,"endTime":21.495,"body":"yourself is the cornerstone."},{"startTime":21.585,"endTime":25.515,"body":"It's like the building blocks the"},{"startTime":21.585,"endTime":25.515,"body":"foundation upon which all other"},{"startTime":25.665,"endTime":27.915,"body":"relationships in your life are built."},{"startTime":28.635,"endTime":31.455,"body":"And before I get started with today's"},{"startTime":28.635,"endTime":31.455,"body":"topic, I wanna ask you a favor, like"},{"startTime":31.455,"endTime":34.485,"body":"if you're a fan of intentionally"},{"startTime":31.455,"endTime":34.485,"body":"curious, Go ahead and click that"},{"startTime":34.485,"endTime":36.345,"body":"five star rating on iTunes now."},{"startTime":36.345,"endTime":40.215,"body":"And then after the episode, ride"},{"startTime":36.345,"endTime":40.215,"body":"review, intentionally curious."},{"startTime":40.241,"endTime":43.931,"body":"Only grows to reach other listeners"},{"startTime":40.241,"endTime":43.931,"body":"when awesome humans like yourself,"},{"startTime":43.931,"endTime":45.281,"body":"take the time to rate and review."},{"startTime":45.521,"endTime":49.001,"body":"And when you share it with others"},{"startTime":45.521,"endTime":49.001,"body":"who you think would benefit from"},{"startTime":49.001,"endTime":52.781,"body":"our community, so help the community"},{"startTime":49.001,"endTime":52.781,"body":"grow rate and review us, and then"},{"startTime":52.781,"endTime":54.791,"body":"let's get started with today's topic."},{"startTime":54.841,"endTime":60.421,"body":"When I say your relationship with yourself"},{"startTime":54.841,"endTime":60.421,"body":"is the cornerstone upon which all other"},{"startTime":60.421,"endTime":62.161,"body":"relationships in your life are built."},{"startTime":62.461,"endTime":64.021,"body":"What's the first thing that comes to mind."},{"startTime":64.751,"endTime":66.641,"body":"Uh, yeah, that's a no brainer, Jay."},{"startTime":66.731,"endTime":67.121,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":67.126,"endTime":68.801,"body":"Of course, of course."},{"startTime":68.801,"endTime":72.431,"body":"I have to have a good relationship with"},{"startTime":68.801,"endTime":72.431,"body":"myself in order to have relationships"},{"startTime":72.436,"endTime":74.411,"body":"with other people that are solid."},{"startTime":75.161,"endTime":77.531,"body":"And yet the question is, do you."},{"startTime":79.456,"endTime":83.426,"body":"do you have a solid relationship with"},{"startTime":79.456,"endTime":83.426,"body":"yourself where there isn't one thing"},{"startTime":83.431,"endTime":85.376,"body":"you can improve upon in your life?"},{"startTime":86.576,"endTime":87.446,"body":"Let that sink in."},{"startTime":87.451,"endTime":90.806,"body":"There's not one thing in your life"},{"startTime":87.451,"endTime":90.806,"body":"you can improve upon so that you have"},{"startTime":90.806,"endTime":92.606,"body":"a better relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":93.656,"endTime":94.856,"body":"I'm gonna go out on a limb."},{"startTime":95.186,"endTime":100.076,"body":"And so your relationship with yourself is"},{"startTime":95.186,"endTime":100.076,"body":"probably not as rock solid as you think."},{"startTime":100.736,"endTime":103.256,"body":"Because as humans, we all get stuck."},{"startTime":103.256,"endTime":106.286,"body":"Sometimes we worry sometimes."},{"startTime":107.156,"endTime":110.756,"body":"We focus on, what we think other"},{"startTime":107.156,"endTime":110.756,"body":"people think of us sometimes."},{"startTime":111.266,"endTime":112.556,"body":"Well, probably more than that, right."},{"startTime":113.246,"endTime":116.666,"body":"And that means we have work to do so."},{"startTime":116.666,"endTime":119.605,"body":"When I say that, having a good"},{"startTime":116.666,"endTime":119.605,"body":"relationship with yourself first"},{"startTime":119.61,"endTime":122.395,"body":"is a cornerstone of all other"},{"startTime":119.61,"endTime":122.395,"body":"relationships in your life."},{"startTime":122.755,"endTime":126.145,"body":"I'm not just talking about a relationship"},{"startTime":122.755,"endTime":126.145,"body":"with other people in your life."},{"startTime":126.625,"endTime":127.705,"body":"There's more to it."},{"startTime":128.605,"endTime":131.245,"body":"I'm talking about your"},{"startTime":128.605,"endTime":131.245,"body":"relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":131.98,"endTime":134.35,"body":"By that, I mean, your"},{"startTime":131.98,"endTime":134.35,"body":"relationship with your health."},{"startTime":134.59,"endTime":139.57,"body":"So your physical health, your emotional"},{"startTime":134.59,"endTime":139.57,"body":"health, your spiritual health, right?"},{"startTime":139.57,"endTime":142.78,"body":"If that's part of your life, and"},{"startTime":139.57,"endTime":142.78,"body":"what about your relationship with"},{"startTime":142.78,"endTime":146.38,"body":"money or food or alcohol or drugs?"},{"startTime":146.65,"endTime":149.68,"body":"Like, how is your relationship with"},{"startTime":146.65,"endTime":149.68,"body":"your thoughts and your feelings?"},{"startTime":150.43,"endTime":153.61,"body":"There's so much to having a"},{"startTime":150.43,"endTime":153.61,"body":"relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":153.61,"endTime":159.22,"body":"There's a lot that goes into it and all"},{"startTime":153.61,"endTime":159.22,"body":"those areas at some point need work."},{"startTime":160.735,"endTime":160.915,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":160.915,"endTime":162.805,"body":"Here's what I love about being a coach."},{"startTime":163.195,"endTime":166.465,"body":"At the core, it all comes"},{"startTime":163.195,"endTime":166.465,"body":"down to relationships."},{"startTime":167.395,"endTime":171.025,"body":"And for me, that's helping people,"},{"startTime":167.395,"endTime":171.025,"body":"just like you have the best possible"},{"startTime":171.03,"endTime":174.595,"body":"relationship you can with yourself,"},{"startTime":171.03,"endTime":174.595,"body":"with yourself, with your money, your"},{"startTime":174.595,"endTime":177.175,"body":"health, your family, your friends,"},{"startTime":174.595,"endTime":177.175,"body":"your coworkers, your boss, your"},{"startTime":177.175,"endTime":179.415,"body":"kids, your parents, even strangers."},{"startTime":180.284,"endTime":184.184,"body":"So often when I hear about"},{"startTime":180.284,"endTime":184.184,"body":"relationship advice, right?"},{"startTime":184.184,"endTime":186.944,"body":"I think we immediately think of advice"},{"startTime":184.184,"endTime":186.944,"body":"for our relationship with our partner,"},{"startTime":186.944,"endTime":192.524,"body":"our spouse, and that everything else"},{"startTime":186.944,"endTime":192.524,"body":"doesn't even enter into the equation."},{"startTime":193.694,"endTime":195.794,"body":"Is that what goes through"},{"startTime":193.694,"endTime":195.794,"body":"your brain, right?"},{"startTime":195.799,"endTime":198.104,"body":"It's about, oh, I gotta have a"},{"startTime":195.799,"endTime":198.104,"body":"better relationship with my partner."},{"startTime":198.104,"endTime":200.534,"body":"I have have to better relationship"},{"startTime":198.104,"endTime":200.534,"body":"with my spouse, my kids."},{"startTime":201.104,"endTime":201.344,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":202.304,"endTime":204.494,"body":"All of those relationships at the core."},{"startTime":205.634,"endTime":208.664,"body":"At the core are built on your relationship"},{"startTime":205.634,"endTime":208.664,"body":"with your money, your health, your"},{"startTime":208.664,"endTime":212.564,"body":"thoughts, your wellbeing, and the"},{"startTime":208.664,"endTime":212.564,"body":"key is to having the best possible"},{"startTime":212.564,"endTime":215.714,"body":"relationship with your partner or spouse,"},{"startTime":212.564,"endTime":215.714,"body":"boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, right."},{"startTime":215.714,"endTime":216.134,"body":"Whomever."},{"startTime":216.134,"endTime":217.875,"body":"It may be whatever it may be."},{"startTime":217.88,"endTime":222.195,"body":"There's there's 12 places you need"},{"startTime":217.88,"endTime":222.195,"body":"to consider starting to have a"},{"startTime":222.195,"endTime":223.815,"body":"better relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":224.545,"endTime":226.865,"body":"And number one, number one is."},{"startTime":227.695,"endTime":230.695,"body":"Nutrition, rest recreation,"},{"startTime":227.695,"endTime":230.695,"body":"activity and positive thoughts."},{"startTime":231.025,"endTime":233.155,"body":"It's like a big, all inclusive one."},{"startTime":233.155,"endTime":233.455,"body":"There."},{"startTime":234.56,"endTime":238.49,"body":"Those things are the foundation to having"},{"startTime":234.56,"endTime":238.49,"body":"a better relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":239.96,"endTime":244.76,"body":"So when you're you're properly in tune"},{"startTime":239.96,"endTime":244.76,"body":"with your body, the other 11 things I'll"},{"startTime":244.76,"endTime":250.04,"body":"mention today, they become much easier to"},{"startTime":244.76,"endTime":250.04,"body":"focus on and they become much easier for"},{"startTime":250.04,"endTime":252.2,"body":"you to get alignment with in your life."},{"startTime":253.4,"endTime":256.13,"body":"When you allow negative"},{"startTime":253.4,"endTime":256.13,"body":"thoughts to enter your life."},{"startTime":256.76,"endTime":261.26,"body":"Or when you don't get enough"},{"startTime":256.76,"endTime":261.26,"body":"sleep or you don't fuel your body?"},{"startTime":261.26,"endTime":266.63,"body":"Well, it makes it hard to have a solid"},{"startTime":261.26,"endTime":266.63,"body":"foundation upon which to build anything."},{"startTime":267.5,"endTime":271.67,"body":"It's really hard to build"},{"startTime":267.5,"endTime":271.67,"body":"on an UN solid foundation."},{"startTime":271.67,"endTime":271.85,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":271.85,"endTime":274.91,"body":"If it's crumbly, you're not"},{"startTime":271.85,"endTime":274.91,"body":"gonna have a strong life."},{"startTime":275.51,"endTime":278.51,"body":"And I know it's easy to kind of put it off"},{"startTime":275.51,"endTime":278.51,"body":"and say, well, you know what this, okay."},{"startTime":278.51,"endTime":279.08,"body":"It's all right."},{"startTime":279.08,"endTime":280.34,"body":"It's it's good enough."},{"startTime":281.09,"endTime":286.25,"body":"And listen, if you start here and you"},{"startTime":281.09,"endTime":286.25,"body":"make small improvements,  pick one of"},{"startTime":286.25,"endTime":287.69,"body":"the categories we talked about, right?"},{"startTime":287.69,"endTime":289.67,"body":"Sleep nutrition, rest, whatever it may be."},{"startTime":290.66,"endTime":292.04,"body":"Start with small improvements."},{"startTime":292.04,"endTime":295.94,"body":"You could even start with drinking"},{"startTime":292.04,"endTime":295.94,"body":"more water each day and staying"},{"startTime":295.94,"endTime":300.11,"body":"hydrated that can have drastic"},{"startTime":295.94,"endTime":300.11,"body":"benefits for you as a starter."},{"startTime":300.11,"endTime":302.48,"body":"And you could start that like,"},{"startTime":300.11,"endTime":302.48,"body":"literally right now you could"},{"startTime":302.48,"endTime":305.84,"body":"press pause, get a cup of water,"},{"startTime":302.48,"endTime":305.84,"body":"drink it, and you'd be on your way."},{"startTime":307.49,"endTime":310.04,"body":"Number two, try creating awareness."},{"startTime":310.745,"endTime":314.795,"body":"About what needs to change"},{"startTime":310.745,"endTime":314.795,"body":"and then set an intention to"},{"startTime":314.795,"endTime":316.865,"body":"improve that aspect of your life."},{"startTime":317.855,"endTime":318.035,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":318.035,"endTime":318.605,"body":"I get it."},{"startTime":318.695,"endTime":319.235,"body":"I get it."},{"startTime":319.895,"endTime":324.725,"body":"This is possibly could be number one, but"},{"startTime":319.895,"endTime":324.725,"body":"even still, it is hard to be intentional"},{"startTime":324.725,"endTime":329.735,"body":"about having anything in your mind"},{"startTime":324.725,"endTime":329.735,"body":"if your body isn't properly prepared."},{"startTime":329.735,"endTime":335.105,"body":"So make sure it, like, in order to take"},{"startTime":329.735,"endTime":335.105,"body":"care of your mind, keeping an awareness"},{"startTime":335.105,"endTime":338.467,"body":"around what aspects of your life you"},{"startTime":335.105,"endTime":338.467,"body":"need to improve before you do that."},{"startTime":339.592,"endTime":343.252,"body":"Create awareness about the other areas"},{"startTime":339.592,"endTime":343.252,"body":"I'll mention by taking care of your body."},{"startTime":343.352,"endTime":346.952,"body":"Now, just a gentle reminder, you're"},{"startTime":343.352,"endTime":346.952,"body":"gonna want to change a lot of things."},{"startTime":347.282,"endTime":349.322,"body":"And from my experience,"},{"startTime":347.282,"endTime":349.322,"body":"that can be overwhelming."},{"startTime":349.322,"endTime":354.272,"body":"So be thoughtful and be intentional"},{"startTime":349.322,"endTime":354.272,"body":"and do that, you know, goals that"},{"startTime":354.272,"endTime":356.022,"body":"make that like one or two goals at a."},{"startTime":356.522,"endTime":357.992,"body":"Don't try to do everything at once."},{"startTime":357.992,"endTime":359.132,"body":"Go slow to go fast."},{"startTime":359.54,"endTime":364.43,"body":"And speaking about setting goals, set"},{"startTime":359.54,"endTime":364.43,"body":"those for the short, middle and long term."},{"startTime":365.48,"endTime":368.12,"body":"So in order for you to develop a"},{"startTime":365.48,"endTime":368.12,"body":"good relationship with yourself,"},{"startTime":368.12,"endTime":372.95,"body":"prioritizing goals for a variety of"},{"startTime":368.12,"endTime":372.95,"body":"timeframes will help you be realistic"},{"startTime":372.98,"endTime":374.33,"body":"about the milestones you can."},{"startTime":374.48,"endTime":375.26,"body":"You can create."},{"startTime":376.31,"endTime":379.229,"body":"For instance, in the short term,"},{"startTime":376.31,"endTime":379.229,"body":"motivation is like adrenaline."},{"startTime":380.189,"endTime":382.109,"body":"It lasts for a short period of time."},{"startTime":382.919,"endTime":388.454,"body":"and like, it's great when you see a"},{"startTime":382.919,"endTime":388.454,"body":"short term smaller goal, but over time,"},{"startTime":388.459,"endTime":391.814,"body":"the motivation wanes, especially when"},{"startTime":388.459,"endTime":391.814,"body":"you hit the middle and long term goal."},{"startTime":391.814,"endTime":395.474,"body":"So it's important to build the"},{"startTime":391.814,"endTime":395.474,"body":"proper habits in order to get"},{"startTime":395.474,"endTime":397.094,"body":"you to hit those longer goals."},{"startTime":397.964,"endTime":400.694,"body":"And those proper habits go"},{"startTime":397.964,"endTime":400.694,"body":"straight back to number one, right?"},{"startTime":400.694,"endTime":402.224,"body":"Your physical and mental wellbeing."},{"startTime":402.794,"endTime":407.054,"body":"If you keep going there, your middle and"},{"startTime":402.794,"endTime":407.054,"body":"long term goals will be easier to reach."},{"startTime":408.734,"endTime":411.419,"body":"now, number four, it's kind"},{"startTime":408.734,"endTime":411.419,"body":"of like this show's title."},{"startTime":411.509,"endTime":412.529,"body":"You gotta get curious."},{"startTime":413.759,"endTime":417.059,"body":"And I would add, maybe develop"},{"startTime":413.759,"endTime":417.059,"body":"an attitude of acceptance."},{"startTime":417.149,"endTime":419.219,"body":"We oftentimes don't do that for ourselves."},{"startTime":420.299,"endTime":420.479,"body":"Now."},{"startTime":420.484,"endTime":421.439,"body":"I know change."},{"startTime":421.919,"endTime":424.559,"body":"And you know that we've talked about"},{"startTime":421.919,"endTime":424.559,"body":"it on this show before change change"},{"startTime":424.559,"endTime":426.179,"body":"is the one true constant life."},{"startTime":426.179,"endTime":432.599,"body":"So when you recognize this is a done"},{"startTime":426.179,"endTime":432.599,"body":"deal and you recognize it as inevit."},{"startTime":433.409,"endTime":437.729,"body":"As something that will always be true,"},{"startTime":433.409,"endTime":437.729,"body":"you can embrace the notion of change with,"},{"startTime":437.969,"endTime":439.829,"body":"with, with just a little bit of fear."},{"startTime":440.429,"endTime":440.759,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":440.764,"endTime":443.369,"body":"Because you know, you know,"},{"startTime":440.764,"endTime":443.369,"body":"change is gonna happen and it's"},{"startTime":443.369,"endTime":444.749,"body":"okay to be afraid of change."},{"startTime":444.809,"endTime":446.009,"body":"And we wanna move through that."},{"startTime":446.009,"endTime":449.459,"body":"So when you create habits and"},{"startTime":446.009,"endTime":449.459,"body":"choose a different path for your"},{"startTime":449.464,"endTime":453.779,"body":"life, those new habits can define"},{"startTime":449.464,"endTime":453.779,"body":"who you become and all right."},{"startTime":453.779,"endTime":455.789,"body":"And it's a really big one"},{"startTime":453.779,"endTime":455.789,"body":"that, and is a big one."},{"startTime":456.119,"endTime":459.869,"body":"There will always be areas in your"},{"startTime":456.119,"endTime":459.869,"body":"life that you haven't fully explor."},{"startTime":461.294,"endTime":465.164,"body":"Too often when you want to make changes"},{"startTime":461.294,"endTime":465.164,"body":"in your relationship with yourself,"},{"startTime":465.164,"endTime":466.694,"body":"you, you try to do it quickly."},{"startTime":467.504,"endTime":469.004,"body":"It's like a, a checklist item, right."},{"startTime":469.009,"endTime":469.394,"body":"Opened up."},{"startTime":469.394,"endTime":470.264,"body":"Got that done."},{"startTime":470.864,"endTime":472.154,"body":"Get it off the list."},{"startTime":473.174,"endTime":476.624,"body":"So let's say you conquered your"},{"startTime":473.174,"endTime":476.624,"body":"relationship with sweets, for example."},{"startTime":476.804,"endTime":477.134,"body":"Sweet."},{"startTime":477.134,"endTime":477.404,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":478.319,"endTime":479.519,"body":"Sorry, that kind of got me there."},{"startTime":479.729,"endTime":480.059,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":480.119,"endTime":483.359,"body":"So what about your relationship"},{"startTime":480.119,"endTime":483.359,"body":"with other foods in your life?"},{"startTime":483.439,"endTime":485.959,"body":"Were sweets just the most"},{"startTime":483.439,"endTime":485.959,"body":"important or just the beginning."},{"startTime":486.859,"endTime":490.039,"body":"And what happens if you think you"},{"startTime":486.859,"endTime":490.039,"body":"conquer your relationship with"},{"startTime":490.039,"endTime":493.369,"body":"sweets, but haven't fully explored"},{"startTime":490.039,"endTime":493.369,"body":"why that's important to you."},{"startTime":495.199,"endTime":498.109,"body":"If you go deeper, when you"},{"startTime":495.199,"endTime":498.109,"body":"think you've checked that mark."},{"startTime":499.099,"endTime":502.849,"body":"You do it to make sure you're, you're"},{"startTime":499.099,"endTime":502.849,"body":"not onto yourself for a quick change."},{"startTime":503.659,"endTime":507.259,"body":"So often we just wanna be like one"},{"startTime":503.659,"endTime":507.259,"body":"and done, check it off, move on."},{"startTime":507.649,"endTime":509.089,"body":"That's not how our brains work."},{"startTime":509.179,"endTime":513.859,"body":"It takes time for you to get over"},{"startTime":509.179,"endTime":513.859,"body":"old habits for you to fully explore"},{"startTime":513.859,"endTime":515.239,"body":"something and move on from it."},{"startTime":516.319,"endTime":516.499,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":516.499,"endTime":520.399,"body":"Number five, kindness, kindness,"},{"startTime":516.499,"endTime":520.399,"body":"my friends, big believer here."},{"startTime":520.399,"endTime":521.569,"body":"Kindness always wins."},{"startTime":522.079,"endTime":525.139,"body":"And in this case in particular"},{"startTime":522.079,"endTime":525.139,"body":"is being kind to yourself."},{"startTime":527.014,"endTime":529.324,"body":"Now, I'm not talking about"},{"startTime":527.014,"endTime":529.324,"body":"being kind to the point."},{"startTime":529.324,"endTime":531.604,"body":"I'm not doing the work"},{"startTime":529.324,"endTime":531.604,"body":"or saying, you know what?"},{"startTime":531.604,"endTime":535.894,"body":"Oh, that's not a big deal that I conquered"},{"startTime":531.604,"endTime":535.894,"body":"my own relationship with sweets, but then"},{"startTime":535.894,"endTime":538.054,"body":"I just ate half a cake or a box of Oreos."},{"startTime":538.054,"endTime":540.454,"body":"Cuz I'm being quote"},{"startTime":538.054,"endTime":540.454,"body":"unquote, kind to myself."},{"startTime":541.474,"endTime":543.844,"body":"You still have to take"},{"startTime":541.474,"endTime":543.844,"body":"personal responsibility for"},{"startTime":543.844,"endTime":546.874,"body":"the actions for your actions."},{"startTime":546.934,"endTime":550.384,"body":"And one of those is being kind to"},{"startTime":546.934,"endTime":550.384,"body":"yourself, especially when you do"},{"startTime":550.384,"endTime":552.214,"body":"self-evaluations of your behavior."},{"startTime":552.754,"endTime":553.984,"body":"Do you do it without blame?"},{"startTime":555.424,"endTime":557.524,"body":"Do you do it without, without criticism?"},{"startTime":558.154,"endTime":559.534,"body":"Do you do it without self-judgment?"},{"startTime":560.644,"endTime":563.674,"body":"The more you judge yourself,"},{"startTime":560.644,"endTime":563.674,"body":"the less effective you will"},{"startTime":563.674,"endTime":565.714,"body":"be in your ability to change."},{"startTime":565.774,"endTime":570.124,"body":"So give yourself a break, be kind to"},{"startTime":565.774,"endTime":570.124,"body":"yourself, but again, don't be so kind"},{"startTime":570.124,"endTime":571.414,"body":"to yourself that you don't do the work."},{"startTime":571.744,"endTime":573.004,"body":"You have to be candid."},{"startTime":573.424,"endTime":576.034,"body":"You have to take responsibility"},{"startTime":573.424,"endTime":576.034,"body":"and say to yourself, whenever"},{"startTime":576.034,"endTime":579.694,"body":"you take a step backward, what"},{"startTime":576.034,"endTime":579.694,"body":"could I do better next time?"},{"startTime":579.694,"endTime":580.424,"body":"Do the evaluat."},{"startTime":582.259,"endTime":584.659,"body":"Number six, find your"},{"startTime":582.259,"endTime":584.659,"body":"people find your tribe."},{"startTime":584.719,"endTime":587.659,"body":"Like if you spend the majority of your"},{"startTime":584.719,"endTime":587.659,"body":"time with people who did not have a good"},{"startTime":587.659,"endTime":591.439,"body":"relationship with themselves, you'll"},{"startTime":587.659,"endTime":591.439,"body":"be really hard pressed to create a"},{"startTime":591.439,"endTime":595.669,"body":"good relationship with yourself because"},{"startTime":591.439,"endTime":595.669,"body":"you'll be afraid of losing those people."},{"startTime":596.959,"endTime":600.229,"body":"Listen, you are who you surround"},{"startTime":596.959,"endTime":600.229,"body":"yourself with on a daily basis."},{"startTime":600.229,"endTime":603.859,"body":"So if you want to create change"},{"startTime":600.229,"endTime":603.859,"body":"for yourself, find others"},{"startTime":603.859,"endTime":605.569,"body":"who wanna do the same things."},{"startTime":606.634,"endTime":610.474,"body":"Having similar minded people in your"},{"startTime":606.634,"endTime":610.474,"body":"life provides accountability for you."},{"startTime":611.284,"endTime":614.914,"body":"And those people also serve as an"},{"startTime":611.284,"endTime":614.914,"body":"example of what you can accomplish."},{"startTime":615.484,"endTime":619.564,"body":"If you see somebody who has made a"},{"startTime":615.484,"endTime":619.564,"body":"change in their life, get to know them,"},{"startTime":619.564,"endTime":625.414,"body":"better, become friends with them, ask"},{"startTime":619.564,"endTime":625.414,"body":"how they did it, let them guide you."},{"startTime":626.114,"endTime":626.604,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":626.764,"endTime":627.364,"body":"Number seven."},{"startTime":628.144,"endTime":632.104,"body":"Optimism is good, but be realistic."},{"startTime":632.794,"endTime":635.794,"body":"Be realistic in how you"},{"startTime":632.794,"endTime":635.794,"body":"create optimism for yourself."},{"startTime":636.544,"endTime":641.374,"body":"If you haven't listened to episode"},{"startTime":636.544,"endTime":641.374,"body":"76, made a, make a note of it because"},{"startTime":641.374,"endTime":645.844,"body":"I deal with perfectionism  and in"},{"startTime":641.374,"endTime":645.844,"body":"this case perfectionism is the enemy"},{"startTime":645.844,"endTime":647.494,"body":"of sustainable change in your life."},{"startTime":648.664,"endTime":652.864,"body":"And perfectionism is especially the"},{"startTime":648.664,"endTime":652.864,"body":"enemy in your relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":653.621,"endTime":653.891,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":653.891,"endTime":656.561,"body":"I deal with change"},{"startTime":653.891,"endTime":656.561,"body":"management with my clients."},{"startTime":657.086,"endTime":661.196,"body":"So I know they, and you"},{"startTime":657.086,"endTime":661.196,"body":"want to change, right?"},{"startTime":661.256,"endTime":664.736,"body":"And you want that change to happen"},{"startTime":661.256,"endTime":664.736,"body":"like yesterday, you wanna be done with"},{"startTime":664.741,"endTime":669.206,"body":"it, but fixing what's been ingrained"},{"startTime":664.741,"endTime":669.206,"body":"in you doesn't happen overnight."},{"startTime":670.286,"endTime":674.396,"body":"So when you want things quicker and"},{"startTime":670.286,"endTime":674.396,"body":"faster, it leads to negative self talk."},{"startTime":674.696,"endTime":678.969,"body":"It leads to cycles of, I can't"},{"startTime":674.696,"endTime":678.969,"body":"do it, especially when you don't"},{"startTime":678.969,"endTime":680.259,"body":"achieve the change quicker."},{"startTime":681.099,"endTime":681.679,"body":"So be careful."},{"startTime":682.314,"endTime":686.694,"body":"Be careful with being overly"},{"startTime":682.314,"endTime":686.694,"body":"optimistic and set realistic goals."},{"startTime":687.264,"endTime":690.204,"body":"And if you need to right, go"},{"startTime":687.264,"endTime":690.204,"body":"back to number three in this"},{"startTime":690.204,"endTime":693.624,"body":"list and remind yourself about"},{"startTime":690.204,"endTime":693.624,"body":"short, middle and long term goals."},{"startTime":695.514,"endTime":701.244,"body":"Number eight, please, please make a"},{"startTime":695.514,"endTime":701.244,"body":"plan for when things go off the rails."},{"startTime":701.844,"endTime":706.014,"body":"There will be times when life wants"},{"startTime":701.844,"endTime":706.014,"body":"to take you on a different track."},{"startTime":706.929,"endTime":709.479,"body":"Take you on a, take you to a different"},{"startTime":706.929,"endTime":709.479,"body":"place than what you had planned and"},{"startTime":709.479,"endTime":712.719,"body":"your brain will want to slip back into"},{"startTime":709.479,"endTime":712.719,"body":"being comfortable when it does that."},{"startTime":712.724,"endTime":717.879,"body":"When life does that to you, your brain"},{"startTime":712.724,"endTime":717.879,"body":"will remind you about being comfortable."},{"startTime":718.329,"endTime":721.874,"body":"Your brain will want you to rekindle"},{"startTime":718.329,"endTime":721.874,"body":"your friendship with those old habits."},{"startTime":721.879,"endTime":725.324,"body":"So having a plan in place for"},{"startTime":721.879,"endTime":725.324,"body":"everyone that happens will help"},{"startTime":725.324,"endTime":727.004,"body":"you get back on track easier."},{"startTime":727.934,"endTime":731.414,"body":"First and foremost, you have to"},{"startTime":727.934,"endTime":731.414,"body":"always expect that life will D."},{"startTime":732.959,"endTime":734.369,"body":"Remember what you know about change?"},{"startTime":734.609,"endTime":735.209,"body":"What do we know?"},{"startTime":735.569,"endTime":737.009,"body":"It's the one true constant."},{"startTime":737.009,"endTime":738.929,"body":"Whether we create it or not."},{"startTime":739.589,"endTime":742.019,"body":"So expect things to get"},{"startTime":739.589,"endTime":742.019,"body":"messy from time to time."},{"startTime":742.229,"endTime":743.279,"body":"And that's okay."},{"startTime":744.099,"endTime":748.714,"body":"One important tool right here you"},{"startTime":744.099,"endTime":748.714,"body":"can use is doing a thought download."},{"startTime":748.714,"endTime":750.574,"body":"And if you don't know what that"},{"startTime":748.714,"endTime":750.574,"body":"is, is it really is you just"},{"startTime":750.574,"endTime":754.564,"body":"spend five minutes writing down"},{"startTime":750.574,"endTime":754.564,"body":"how things might go off track."},{"startTime":755.344,"endTime":756.964,"body":"Imagine what those would be."},{"startTime":757.204,"endTime":759.154,"body":"Imagine the worst case scenario."},{"startTime":759.484,"endTime":766.369,"body":"And when you do this, And when"},{"startTime":759.484,"endTime":766.369,"body":"life goes off track and it's"},{"startTime":766.369,"endTime":768.709,"body":"nowhere near the worst case, right?"},{"startTime":768.709,"endTime":770.389,"body":"Your mind says, see, not so bad, right?"},{"startTime":771.349,"endTime":773.869,"body":"And the less likely and unexpected"},{"startTime":771.349,"endTime":773.869,"body":"D development will actually"},{"startTime":773.869,"endTime":775.759,"body":"derail you from your goals."},{"startTime":776.003,"endTime":777.713,"body":"If you know what to expect."},{"startTime":777.713,"endTime":781.883,"body":"And you imagine the worst case scenario,"},{"startTime":777.713,"endTime":781.883,"body":"don't spend a whole lot of time"},{"startTime":781.883,"endTime":783.233,"body":"worrying about the worst case scenario."},{"startTime":783.233,"endTime":784.973,"body":"Just say, this is what's possible."},{"startTime":785.708,"endTime":788.108,"body":"And then anything short of that"},{"startTime":785.708,"endTime":788.108,"body":"is like, ah, that's not too bad."},{"startTime":789.728,"endTime":789.878,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":789.878,"endTime":794.228,"body":"Number nine, create massive action"},{"startTime":789.878,"endTime":794.228,"body":"in your life in a meaningful way."},{"startTime":795.398,"endTime":797.498,"body":"And what do I mean by"},{"startTime":795.398,"endTime":797.498,"body":"massive action first?"},{"startTime":797.798,"endTime":800.168,"body":"What does success look like to you?"},{"startTime":800.708,"endTime":802.668,"body":"Take a moment, take a moment"},{"startTime":800.708,"endTime":802.668,"body":"to think about what that means."},{"startTime":804.188,"endTime":808.088,"body":"Okay now scrap it and toss it out"},{"startTime":804.188,"endTime":808.088,"body":"because having a static or generic"},{"startTime":808.088,"endTime":812.048,"body":"definition of success keeps you from"},{"startTime":808.088,"endTime":812.048,"body":"creating regular activities in your"},{"startTime":812.048,"endTime":815.978,"body":"life, regular activities that can provide"},{"startTime":812.048,"endTime":815.978,"body":"you with a sense of accomplishment."},{"startTime":816.788,"endTime":821.578,"body":"Your definition of success might"},{"startTime":816.788,"endTime":821.578,"body":"be some far away thing, which will"},{"startTime":821.578,"endTime":824.938,"body":"make the day to day of creating a"},{"startTime":821.578,"endTime":824.938,"body":"sense of accomplishment, difficult."},{"startTime":824.938,"endTime":826.078,"body":"It might be, it might be out there."},{"startTime":826.078,"endTime":829.828,"body":"It might be the, it might be your"},{"startTime":826.078,"endTime":829.828,"body":"idealistic version of it, right?"},{"startTime":829.828,"endTime":831.418,"body":"Whatever your idea of that is."},{"startTime":832.658,"endTime":835.778,"body":"When you take massive action in your"},{"startTime":832.658,"endTime":835.778,"body":"life, it means doing the things that"},{"startTime":835.778,"endTime":837.368,"body":"can give you a sense of accomplishment."},{"startTime":838.613,"endTime":838.823,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":838.823,"endTime":839.753,"body":"Here's an example."},{"startTime":840.233,"endTime":846.053,"body":"Think about your task list at home or at,"},{"startTime":840.233,"endTime":846.053,"body":"or at work and just crossing items off the"},{"startTime":846.053,"endTime":848.303,"body":"list is what I would call passive action."},{"startTime":849.233,"endTime":851.933,"body":"It really doesn't provide you with"},{"startTime":849.233,"endTime":851.933,"body":"any forward momentum because you"},{"startTime":851.933,"endTime":855.203,"body":"will always choose the easiest"},{"startTime":851.933,"endTime":855.203,"body":"things to cross off the list."},{"startTime":855.208,"endTime":856.403,"body":"And that's idle work."},{"startTime":856.593,"endTime":860.693,"body":"Massive action is taking action"},{"startTime":856.593,"endTime":860.693,"body":"that helps to improve your life."},{"startTime":860.693,"endTime":862.973,"body":"So let's say one of your"},{"startTime":860.693,"endTime":862.973,"body":"tasks is to clean your home."},{"startTime":864.038,"endTime":867.848,"body":"So you do that each Saturday, it takes"},{"startTime":864.038,"endTime":867.848,"body":"two to four hours, depending on, you"},{"startTime":867.848,"endTime":869.288,"body":"know, how deep of a clean you wanna do."},{"startTime":869.978,"endTime":872.888,"body":"That's actually passive action"},{"startTime":869.978,"endTime":872.888,"body":"because it completes a tax, but"},{"startTime":872.888,"endTime":874.148,"body":"it doesn't improve your life."},{"startTime":875.348,"endTime":878.708,"body":"What if instead you found a side"},{"startTime":875.348,"endTime":878.708,"body":"hustle that created enough income,"},{"startTime":879.128,"endTime":881.888,"body":"where you could pay for someone else"},{"startTime":879.128,"endTime":881.888,"body":"to clean your house and you gain those"},{"startTime":881.888,"endTime":883.808,"body":"two to four hours back on a Saturday."},{"startTime":884.318,"endTime":886.898,"body":"What could you do with that time"},{"startTime":884.318,"endTime":886.898,"body":"that could improve your life?"},{"startTime":887.528,"endTime":891.548,"body":"Meaningful massive action leads"},{"startTime":887.528,"endTime":891.548,"body":"to better things in your life."},{"startTime":893.318,"endTime":897.608,"body":"Number 10 create and maintain good habits."},{"startTime":897.938,"endTime":899.048,"body":"So how do you start your day?"},{"startTime":899.858,"endTime":903.518,"body":"Do you wake up late, cram food"},{"startTime":899.858,"endTime":903.518,"body":"down your throat or worse yet?"},{"startTime":903.518,"endTime":905.708,"body":"Like stop and get some"},{"startTime":903.518,"endTime":905.708,"body":"sugary coffee and fast food."},{"startTime":905.708,"endTime":908.408,"body":"Or do you start your day with creating"},{"startTime":905.708,"endTime":908.408,"body":"a better relationship with yourself?"},{"startTime":909.368,"endTime":910.928,"body":"Are you intentional about journaling?"},{"startTime":911.048,"endTime":912.188,"body":"Are you intentional about eating?"},{"startTime":912.188,"endTime":912.608,"body":"Well?"},{"startTime":912.818,"endTime":915.998,"body":"Are you intentional about getting up"},{"startTime":912.818,"endTime":915.998,"body":"early enough to create space for yourself?"},{"startTime":916.868,"endTime":920.348,"body":"When you create space for yourself"},{"startTime":916.868,"endTime":920.348,"body":"in the morning, you'll be ready"},{"startTime":920.348,"endTime":921.508,"body":"for what the day throws at."},{"startTime":922.118,"endTime":925.058,"body":"And remember your goals and the"},{"startTime":922.118,"endTime":925.058,"body":"intentions you set for yourself are"},{"startTime":925.058,"endTime":929.048,"body":"the number one priority in having a"},{"startTime":925.058,"endTime":929.048,"body":"better relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":930.878,"endTime":932.588,"body":"Number 11, how do you talk to yourself?"},{"startTime":933.668,"endTime":933.878,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":933.878,"endTime":935.798,"body":"Are you a harsh harshest critic?"},{"startTime":936.278,"endTime":938.648,"body":"We're your greatest champion too often?"},{"startTime":938.648,"endTime":940.658,"body":"We are our harshest critic."},{"startTime":940.658,"endTime":942.908,"body":"We beat ourselves up, right."},{"startTime":943.028,"endTime":945.428,"body":"We don't know how to buoy ourselves"},{"startTime":943.028,"endTime":945.428,"body":"in difficult times, but we should"},{"startTime":945.428,"endTime":947.048,"body":"be our become our greatest champion."},{"startTime":947.583,"endTime":950.433,"body":"Ask yourself, like, how do you feel"},{"startTime":947.583,"endTime":950.433,"body":"when you say things like I'm an idiot."},{"startTime":950.433,"endTime":951.273,"body":"I can't compete."},{"startTime":951.273,"endTime":951.903,"body":"I'm lazy."},{"startTime":951.903,"endTime":952.833,"body":"I'm an imposter."},{"startTime":952.983,"endTime":954.573,"body":"Oh, I'm all smoking mirrors."},{"startTime":954.663,"endTime":955.653,"body":"I'm not a good parent."},{"startTime":955.653,"endTime":956.403,"body":"I'm a failure."},{"startTime":957.483,"endTime":958.323,"body":"You feel pretty crappy."},{"startTime":958.323,"endTime":958.653,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":960.243,"endTime":962.613,"body":"And you don't feel like taking"},{"startTime":960.243,"endTime":962.613,"body":"massive action to improve"},{"startTime":962.613,"endTime":963.873,"body":"yourself when you feel crappy."},{"startTime":964.413,"endTime":967.443,"body":"But if you're kind to yourself, if"},{"startTime":964.413,"endTime":967.443,"body":"you're gentle with yourself, if you're"},{"startTime":967.443,"endTime":972.243,"body":"supportive of yourself and if you think"},{"startTime":967.443,"endTime":972.243,"body":"of it that way, things get better."},{"startTime":972.663,"endTime":974.823,"body":"And also, would you talk to your"},{"startTime":972.663,"endTime":974.823,"body":"kids or your friends the way you"},{"startTime":974.823,"endTime":976.863,"body":"talk to yourself and probably not."},{"startTime":976.863,"endTime":977.253,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":978.363,"endTime":979.173,"body":"You probably wouldn't do that."},{"startTime":979.178,"endTime":980.343,"body":"So support yourself."},{"startTime":981.153,"endTime":984.333,"body":"And if you find it helpful to talk out"},{"startTime":981.153,"endTime":984.333,"body":"loud to yourself in a positive way,"},{"startTime":984.813,"endTime":986.313,"body":"find the space to do that each day."},{"startTime":988.533,"endTime":990.633,"body":"Number 12 last but not least."},{"startTime":990.633,"endTime":992.073,"body":"Number 12, self care."},{"startTime":992.073,"endTime":993.933,"body":"My friends is not self ish."},{"startTime":995.373,"endTime":997.383,"body":"You were raised to do things for others."},{"startTime":999.033,"endTime":999.993,"body":"Look out for your brother."},{"startTime":1000.593,"endTime":1003.233,"body":"Help me bring in the groceries,"},{"startTime":1000.593,"endTime":1003.233,"body":"clear the table, bring your"},{"startTime":1003.233,"endTime":1004.763,"body":"wash downstairs, mow the lawn."},{"startTime":1005.033,"endTime":1008.063,"body":"You were taught at an early age"},{"startTime":1005.033,"endTime":1008.063,"body":"that helping others was way more"},{"startTime":1008.063,"endTime":1011.093,"body":"important than helping yourself"},{"startTime":1008.063,"endTime":1011.093,"body":"or doing what you wanted to do."},{"startTime":1011.098,"endTime":1013.883,"body":"And I'm, and, and today you have"},{"startTime":1011.098,"endTime":1013.883,"body":"a hard time with the concept"},{"startTime":1013.883,"endTime":1014.873,"body":"of taking care of yourself."},{"startTime":1014.873,"endTime":1015.383,"body":"First."},{"startTime":1016.223,"endTime":1019.463,"body":"Now I'll never say, I'll never say"},{"startTime":1016.223,"endTime":1019.463,"body":"that you should be self-centered"},{"startTime":1019.553,"endTime":1023.663,"body":"selfish or focused on yourself to"},{"startTime":1019.553,"endTime":1023.663,"body":"the exclusion of others in your life."},{"startTime":1024.203,"endTime":1025.493,"body":"Not that's not."},{"startTime":1026.588,"endTime":1030.848,"body":"But taking care of yourself first allows"},{"startTime":1026.588,"endTime":1030.848,"body":"you to have a good relationship with"},{"startTime":1030.848,"endTime":1035.648,"body":"yourself, which ultimately leads to having"},{"startTime":1030.848,"endTime":1035.648,"body":"a better relationship with others and"},{"startTime":1035.648,"endTime":1037.898,"body":"it can improve how you care for them."},{"startTime":1038.918,"endTime":1040.238,"body":"It can improve how you care for them."},{"startTime":1041.258,"endTime":1041.528,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":1041.528,"endTime":1041.888,"body":"My friends."},{"startTime":1041.893,"endTime":1042.098,"body":"Woo."},{"startTime":1043.058,"endTime":1045.068,"body":"I've given you a lot to"},{"startTime":1043.058,"endTime":1045.068,"body":"think about in this episode."},{"startTime":1045.518,"endTime":1050.448,"body":"So here's what I'm going to ask you to do"},{"startTime":1045.518,"endTime":1050.448,"body":"head over to jasonramsden.com/episode81"},{"startTime":1050.768,"endTime":1052.058,"body":"and drop in the comments."},{"startTime":1052.063,"endTime":1054.968,"body":"What's the one thing you want"},{"startTime":1052.063,"endTime":1054.968,"body":"to change in your life, right?"},{"startTime":1056.528,"endTime":1058.868,"body":"So when you make a comment there,"},{"startTime":1056.528,"endTime":1058.868,"body":"you're making a commitment to"},{"startTime":1058.868,"endTime":1061.988,"body":"yourself and you're having me join"},{"startTime":1058.868,"endTime":1061.988,"body":"you as your accountability partner."},{"startTime":1062.048,"endTime":1064.178,"body":"So go ahead and stop this"},{"startTime":1062.048,"endTime":1064.178,"body":"episode, head there now."},{"startTime":1064.408,"endTime":1067.108,"body":"jasonramsden.com/epsiode81."},{"startTime":1067.418,"endTime":1070.658,"body":"And I'll personally respond to your"},{"startTime":1067.418,"endTime":1070.658,"body":"comments and support you on your journey."},{"startTime":1071.348,"endTime":1073.988,"body":"I wanna support you in having a"},{"startTime":1071.348,"endTime":1073.988,"body":"better relationship with yourself."},{"startTime":1073.988,"endTime":1074.758,"body":"So hop over there now."},{"startTime":1076.298,"endTime":1076.508,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1076.508,"endTime":1082.358,"body":"My friends, that's a wrap on this week's"},{"startTime":1076.508,"endTime":1082.358,"body":"episode and as always, please remember,"},{"startTime":1082.418,"endTime":1087.058,"body":"be willing, be curious and be intentional"},{"startTime":1082.418,"endTime":1087.058,"body":"and until next week, keep doing the work."},{"startTime":1087.448,"endTime":1088.288,"body":"You've got this."}]}