{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1.17,"endTime":3.99,"body":"Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1.17,"endTime":3.99,"body":"and I believe we can all work on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.99,"endTime":6.81,"body":"leading a more positive and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.99,"endTime":6.81,"body":"intentional life. And this show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.81,"endTime":9.93,"body":"details my journey by sharing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":6.81,"endTime":9.93,"body":"learning stories and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":9.93,"endTime":12.36,"body":"conversations with guests. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":9.93,"endTime":12.36,"body":"you want to lead a more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.36,"endTime":14.85,"body":"intentional life focused on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":12.36,"endTime":14.85,"body":"being the best you possible,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.09,"endTime":15.84,"body":"please subscribe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.84,"endTime":21.12,"body":"today. Now, let's get into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.84,"endTime":21.12,"body":"today's episode. Are you playing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.12,"endTime":24.75,"body":"the blame game? Today's episode"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.12,"endTime":24.75,"body":"on blame is not for the faint of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":24.75,"endTime":28.56,"body":"heart. If you aren't ready to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":24.75,"endTime":28.56,"body":"face how and why you use blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.56,"endTime":31.23,"body":"in your life, then I suggest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":28.56,"endTime":31.23,"body":"perhaps you move on to another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":31.23,"endTime":34.71,"body":"episode of this show, or choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":31.23,"endTime":34.71,"body":"a different podcast for today."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":35.22,"endTime":37.65,"body":"If you're ready to learn how the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":35.22,"endTime":37.65,"body":"blame game can affect your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.65,"endTime":41.13,"body":"relationships at home and work,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.65,"endTime":41.13,"body":"then stick around as we take a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.13,"endTime":48.36,"body":"powerful look inside ourselves."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":41.13,"endTime":48.36,"body":"Admittedly, today's show was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.36,"endTime":54.03,"body":"hard show to research. If I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":48.36,"endTime":54.03,"body":"going to continue to share my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":54.03,"endTime":57.27,"body":"own journey, I'm going to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":54.03,"endTime":57.27,"body":"to peel back layers into my own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.27,"endTime":62.64,"body":"life in an effort to help you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":57.27,"endTime":62.64,"body":"perhaps grow and become a better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":62.64,"endTime":67.17,"body":"person. And the truth is, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":62.64,"endTime":67.17,"body":"is a tough topic. It's a tough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.17,"endTime":71.91,"body":"topic for anyone. But I truly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.17,"endTime":71.91,"body":"believe when you're ready to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.91,"endTime":77.07,"body":"dive into discovering why we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.91,"endTime":77.07,"body":"blame others how we go about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":77.07,"endTime":80.79,"body":"blaming others, why we blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":77.07,"endTime":80.79,"body":"ourselves, then I do believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":80.79,"endTime":84.24,"body":"we'll come out of it a much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":80.79,"endTime":84.24,"body":"better person. For the purpose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":84.24,"endTime":88.14,"body":"of today's episode, I'd like us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":84.24,"endTime":88.14,"body":"to focus on blame as a word"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":88.38,"endTime":92.91,"body":"blame is a word can be either a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":88.38,"endTime":92.91,"body":"verb in which you assign"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":92.91,"endTime":97.47,"body":"responsibility for a fault or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":92.91,"endTime":97.47,"body":"wrong. Or it can be a noun in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":97.47,"endTime":102.48,"body":"which responsibility for a fault"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":97.47,"endTime":102.48,"body":"or wrong is something that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":102.48,"endTime":108.0,"body":"inward. So to me blame is both"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":102.48,"endTime":108.0,"body":"an external focus and also an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.03,"endTime":112.47,"body":"internal focus. As we look at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.03,"endTime":112.47,"body":"blame from an external source"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.47,"endTime":114.72,"body":"where we're going to blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.47,"endTime":114.72,"body":"somebody else, I'll share a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":114.72,"endTime":117.42,"body":"little story. When I was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":114.72,"endTime":117.42,"body":"child, when I was growing up,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.42,"endTime":120.84,"body":"I've got a brother who's four"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.42,"endTime":120.84,"body":"years younger than I. And when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.84,"endTime":123.24,"body":"we were little, I think my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.84,"endTime":123.24,"body":"brother was maybe three or four."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":123.24,"endTime":128.58,"body":"And so I was seven or eight. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":123.24,"endTime":128.58,"body":"we had just gotten our dog,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.67,"endTime":133.44,"body":"Casey, who will be gold bass at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.67,"endTime":133.44,"body":"home with a deep old howl that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":133.44,"endTime":138.45,"body":"would get you going. But at one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":133.44,"endTime":138.45,"body":"point, the dog is kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.45,"endTime":144.48,"body":"whimpering, making some noise."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.45,"endTime":144.48,"body":"And we're in the kitchen. And my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.48,"endTime":149.04,"body":"mom said to my brother, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.48,"endTime":149.04,"body":"what happened to the dog? And my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":149.04,"endTime":152.85,"body":"brother said, I didn't pinch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":149.04,"endTime":152.85,"body":"him. And I laugh every time I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":152.85,"endTime":156.72,"body":"think about that story, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":152.85,"endTime":156.72,"body":"it's a perfect example of blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":156.72,"endTime":160.65,"body":"and how we go about it. So here"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":156.72,"endTime":160.65,"body":"he is, the three or four year"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":160.65,"endTime":166.5,"body":"old brother doesn't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":160.65,"endTime":166.5,"body":"know to say, I don't know, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":166.5,"endTime":170.88,"body":"admittedly said I did it without"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":166.5,"endTime":170.88,"body":"saying I did it by saying I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":170.88,"endTime":174.69,"body":"didn't pinch him. But how does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":170.88,"endTime":174.69,"body":"blame transpire? Once we get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.69,"endTime":180.06,"body":"be an adult? What does that look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.69,"endTime":180.06,"body":"like? Or even as a teenager or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.06,"endTime":184.14,"body":"teen or teen or tween? You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.06,"endTime":184.14,"body":"we're in school, and we forget"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.14,"endTime":188.07,"body":"our homework. And we often come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.14,"endTime":188.07,"body":"up with excuses for why it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":188.07,"endTime":191.82,"body":"wasn't done. Perhaps it was you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":188.07,"endTime":191.82,"body":"know, my parents didn't give me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.82,"endTime":194.82,"body":"time my parents punished me I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.82,"endTime":194.82,"body":"didn't have enough time. I left"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.82,"endTime":198.96,"body":"my book at home. For God, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.82,"endTime":198.96,"body":"book, whatever the case may be,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.96,"endTime":202.23,"body":"there's plenty of reasons that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.96,"endTime":202.23,"body":"people play the blame game, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.23,"endTime":205.29,"body":"often blame someone else for not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":202.23,"endTime":205.29,"body":"being able to get a task done."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":205.92,"endTime":209.73,"body":"But when misfortune comes your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":205.92,"endTime":209.73,"body":"way, what's your very first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":209.73,"endTime":214.32,"body":"thought? Do you quickly go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":209.73,"endTime":214.32,"body":"figure out? Was it my fault? Was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.32,"endTime":218.31,"body":"it somebody else's fault? Was it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.32,"endTime":218.31,"body":"the situation that we were in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.31,"endTime":222.3,"body":"that was to blame? Where do we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.31,"endTime":222.3,"body":"start to sit down and really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.3,"endTime":224.64,"body":"take responsibility for our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":222.3,"endTime":224.64,"body":"actions? And that's a tough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":224.64,"endTime":228.03,"body":"topic. It's really I think it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":224.64,"endTime":228.03,"body":"really difficult for, for most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.03,"endTime":231.63,"body":"human beings at first blush to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.03,"endTime":231.63,"body":"be like, you know what, I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.63,"endTime":235.23,"body":"it, I screwed up, I messed up,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.63,"endTime":235.23,"body":"because it's hard to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.23,"endTime":236.37,"body":"responsibility that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":236.37,"endTime":240.33,"body":"way right out of the gate. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":236.37,"endTime":240.33,"body":"blame is quite an interesting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":240.36,"endTime":244.59,"body":"concept. Because it does have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":240.36,"endTime":244.59,"body":"two sides to it. There are some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.59,"endTime":247.77,"body":"people who never take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.59,"endTime":247.77,"body":"responsibility for their actions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.77,"endTime":252.51,"body":"ever. They always find somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.77,"endTime":252.51,"body":"else or something else to blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":252.51,"endTime":255.72,"body":"for what may or may have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":252.51,"endTime":255.72,"body":"happened in their life. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":255.72,"endTime":258.51,"body":"on the other side, you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":255.72,"endTime":258.51,"body":"people who always take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.51,"endTime":261.93,"body":"responsibility and always blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.51,"endTime":261.93,"body":"themselves for what may have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.93,"endTime":265.35,"body":"happened to them. So for people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.93,"endTime":265.35,"body":"who always blame somebody else,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":265.59,"endTime":267.84,"body":"something goes wrong with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":265.59,"endTime":267.84,"body":"dinner. It's because you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.84,"endTime":269.94,"body":"assigned a task to somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":267.84,"endTime":269.94,"body":"else, and they didn't complete"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":269.94,"endTime":274.14,"body":"it correctly. For somebody who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":269.94,"endTime":274.14,"body":"always takes the blame, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.23,"endTime":276.99,"body":"they may be saying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.23,"endTime":276.99,"body":"themselves, I got distracted, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":276.99,"endTime":280.2,"body":"was on me I wasn't paying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":276.99,"endTime":280.2,"body":"attention and the food burned."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.95,"endTime":285.0,"body":"So why don't we use blame as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.95,"endTime":285.0,"body":"tool? On an article that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.0,"endTime":290.25,"body":"reading in Psychology Today,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.0,"endTime":290.25,"body":"that line five reasons why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.55,"endTime":296.01,"body":"people typically use blame as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.55,"endTime":296.01,"body":"tactic. They say blame is an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.01,"endTime":300.87,"body":"excellent defense mechanism grew"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.01,"endTime":300.87,"body":"with that 100% will You can call"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.87,"endTime":305.04,"body":"it denial, displacement"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.87,"endTime":305.04,"body":"rejection. It's something to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.04,"endTime":308.91,"body":"kind of preserve your self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.04,"endTime":308.91,"body":"esteem, perhaps where you say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.91,"endTime":311.52,"body":"you know what, I made a mistake."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.91,"endTime":311.52,"body":"But I don't want to admit I made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":311.52,"endTime":314.82,"body":"a mistake. As soon as I had made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":311.52,"endTime":314.82,"body":"a mistake, I admit that I'm a,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":314.91,"endTime":317.61,"body":"I'm a human, and I do make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":314.91,"endTime":317.61,"body":"mistakes. And that failure is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":317.61,"endTime":322.14,"body":"part of the process. Blame is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":317.61,"endTime":322.14,"body":"also a tool that gets used a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.14,"endTime":325.11,"body":"lot. When we're in attack mode,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.14,"endTime":325.11,"body":"we get defensive, okay, step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":325.11,"endTime":329.28,"body":"one, blame is an excellent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":325.11,"endTime":329.28,"body":"defense mechanism. Step two,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":329.31,"endTime":331.86,"body":"blame is a tool we use when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":329.31,"endTime":331.86,"body":"we're under attack mode. So he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.86,"endTime":334.5,"body":"coming after us, they're blaming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.86,"endTime":334.5,"body":"us for something, and then we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.53,"endTime":338.61,"body":"deflect defer, or try and put it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.53,"endTime":338.61,"body":"on someone else, or something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":338.61,"endTime":341.49,"body":"else. I didn't have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":338.61,"endTime":341.49,"body":"information, no one told me. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.49,"endTime":345.06,"body":"didn't know what was going on. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.49,"endTime":345.06,"body":"wasn't informed. It wasn't me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":345.96,"endTime":350.85,"body":"And what it comes down to is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":345.96,"endTime":350.85,"body":"that it is so much easier to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.85,"endTime":354.12,"body":"blame someone else than it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.85,"endTime":354.12,"body":"for us to accept responsibility"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.12,"endTime":359.1,"body":"for our own actions. And I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.12,"endTime":359.1,"body":"part of that as well, is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":359.46,"endTime":360.78,"body":"people, humans,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.17,"endTime":361.89,"body":"they lie,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":362.459,"endTime":365.579,"body":"everybody lies, it's pretty easy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":362.459,"endTime":365.579,"body":"to kind of just fall into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":365.579,"endTime":370.109,"body":"blame game by by telling a fib,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":365.579,"endTime":370.109,"body":"but by lying about what actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":370.109,"endTime":373.349,"body":"took place. What I think,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":370.109,"endTime":373.349,"body":"though, is that people don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.349,"endTime":378.059,"body":"realize the more that you play"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.349,"endTime":378.059,"body":"the blame game, the more you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":378.059,"endTime":384.929,"body":"actually lose, the more your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":378.059,"endTime":384.929,"body":"life becomes a falsity I think,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":385.439,"endTime":389.549,"body":"and also, the less chance you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":385.439,"endTime":389.549,"body":"have to grow, to grow as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":389.549,"endTime":393.389,"body":"person to become a better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":389.549,"endTime":393.389,"body":"person, that the more that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.389,"endTime":397.529,"body":"blame others for actions that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.389,"endTime":397.529,"body":"are things that you do, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":397.529,"endTime":402.599,"body":"it lessens your place in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":397.529,"endTime":402.599,"body":"world. I even saw that today"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.599,"endTime":407.129,"body":"recently at work, where we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.599,"endTime":407.129,"body":"having a discussion about how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.129,"endTime":413.099,"body":"information is shared in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.129,"endTime":413.099,"body":"organization. And somebody asks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.519,"endTime":418.859,"body":"that question, well, how is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.519,"endTime":418.859,"body":"possible? And I said, Well, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.859,"endTime":422.459,"body":"weren't able to complete the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.859,"endTime":422.459,"body":"task, because no one told us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.759,"endTime":427.889,"body":"that there was a change in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.759,"endTime":427.889,"body":"information. And here I am, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":427.889,"endTime":430.799,"body":"being transparent on this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":427.889,"endTime":430.799,"body":"podcast, giving you an example"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.799,"endTime":436.109,"body":"from my life From today, to let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.799,"endTime":436.109,"body":"you know that we all are all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.109,"endTime":441.719,"body":"human, were human to a fault, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.109,"endTime":441.719,"body":"you will. And I shared to let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":441.719,"endTime":446.129,"body":"you know that this podcast is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":441.719,"endTime":446.129,"body":"reflection tool for me as well."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.819,"endTime":452.849,"body":"As a leader and organization, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.819,"endTime":452.849,"body":"need to be able to admit when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.999,"endTime":456.629,"body":"I'm wrong, admit when something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.999,"endTime":456.629,"body":"isn't going right. So I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":456.629,"endTime":459.779,"body":"thinking about that a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":456.629,"endTime":459.779,"body":"today to say why did I have that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.779,"endTime":464.459,"body":"answer? It shouldn't have been,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.779,"endTime":464.459,"body":"we didn't get the information. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.459,"endTime":467.909,"body":"think reflectively the question"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.459,"endTime":467.909,"body":"should be, why aren't we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":467.909,"endTime":471.989,"body":"proactively looking for that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":467.909,"endTime":471.989,"body":"information, when we know these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":471.989,"endTime":476.309,"body":"types of changes in data occur?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":471.989,"endTime":476.309,"body":"So that's the thought that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":476.309,"endTime":481.259,"body":"want to have for you right now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":476.309,"endTime":481.259,"body":"is what is holding you back from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.259,"endTime":486.299,"body":"making a change so that you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.259,"endTime":486.299,"body":"more proactive in your life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":486.329,"endTime":489.719,"body":"about not placing blame on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":486.329,"endTime":489.719,"body":"others. So you can take more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.719,"endTime":493.559,"body":"responsibility for how you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.719,"endTime":493.559,"body":"going to attack blame in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":493.559,"endTime":495.569,"body":"life. How are you going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":493.559,"endTime":495.569,"body":"change that? What does that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.569,"endTime":498.959,"body":"gonna look like? And we'll dive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.569,"endTime":498.959,"body":"into a couple of steps that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":498.959,"endTime":503.219,"body":"can take to transform that in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":498.959,"endTime":503.219,"body":"your lives in just a minute. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.219,"endTime":503.789,"body":"stick around."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":505.98,"endTime":510.57,"body":"Before we get into how we can go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":505.98,"endTime":510.57,"body":"about stopping blaming our lives"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.57,"endTime":514.14,"body":"and then fix the blame game, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.57,"endTime":514.14,"body":"just want to remind us that, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":514.14,"endTime":518.19,"body":"know, oftentimes blame is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":514.14,"endTime":518.19,"body":"associated with work life. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.19,"endTime":520.92,"body":"blame can also be a personal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.19,"endTime":520.92,"body":"life as well. You may think of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":520.92,"endTime":524.7,"body":"it as well, in organizations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":520.92,"endTime":524.7,"body":"there's projects to be done."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.7,"endTime":527.94,"body":"There's things that need to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.7,"endTime":527.94,"body":"place. That's true in our in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.94,"endTime":530.4,"body":"home lives as well in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.94,"endTime":530.4,"body":"personal lives, and our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.4,"endTime":533.49,"body":"interactions with people in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.4,"endTime":533.49,"body":"general. So even though I gave"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.49,"endTime":537.21,"body":"an example from my work life,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.49,"endTime":537.21,"body":"and it was a broad one, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.21,"endTime":541.38,"body":"understand that. But I'm pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.21,"endTime":541.38,"body":"certain that we all understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.65,"endTime":544.29,"body":"when we're playing the blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.65,"endTime":544.29,"body":"game we know when we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.29,"endTime":548.85,"body":"deflecting, we know when we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.29,"endTime":548.85,"body":"trying not to have our egos"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.85,"endTime":555.9,"body":"hurt, when we're working really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.85,"endTime":555.9,"body":"hard not to feel shame about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.9,"endTime":560.22,"body":"something that we did or didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.9,"endTime":560.22,"body":"do, or said or didn't say, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.22,"endTime":563.79,"body":"the course of a day or actions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.22,"endTime":563.79,"body":"towards others. So the minute"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.79,"endTime":567.6,"body":"that you start to feel the blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.79,"endTime":567.6,"body":"or the shame of blame coming on,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.32,"endTime":571.02,"body":"one of the first things you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.32,"endTime":571.02,"body":"do is actually just take a step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.02,"endTime":575.43,"body":"back, like elevate yourself up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.02,"endTime":575.43,"body":"from the situation and realize,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.46,"endTime":578.76,"body":"alright, I got to dial down my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.46,"endTime":578.76,"body":"emotions, I got to take those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.76,"endTime":582.06,"body":"down a little bit. I have to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.76,"endTime":582.06,"body":"perspective on what's going on."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.9,"endTime":587.31,"body":"And once you do that, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.9,"endTime":587.31,"body":"easier to de escalate what may"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.31,"endTime":590.01,"body":"take place, especially if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.31,"endTime":590.01,"body":"start to imagine the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.01,"endTime":594.54,"body":"conversation that's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.01,"endTime":594.54,"body":"take place with your partner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":594.57,"endTime":598.86,"body":"with your boss with a colleague."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":594.57,"endTime":598.86,"body":"You know when something has not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.86,"endTime":602.73,"body":"gone right you know in advance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.86,"endTime":602.73,"body":"So put yourself in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.73,"endTime":607.05,"body":"situation, remove yourself and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.73,"endTime":607.05,"body":"look down upon it and say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.11,"endTime":609.24,"body":"Alright, how is this gonna play"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.11,"endTime":609.24,"body":"out? What's the worst case"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":609.24,"endTime":613.2,"body":"scenario here? If I were to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":609.24,"endTime":613.2,"body":"accept responsibility right out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.2,"endTime":618.12,"body":"the gate, and part of that is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.2,"endTime":618.12,"body":"is putting the issue into words"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.12,"endTime":621.18,"body":"like what took place, go ahead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.12,"endTime":621.18,"body":"and find somebody talk to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.18,"endTime":625.71,"body":"friend outside of work, talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.18,"endTime":625.71,"body":"a partner or spouse, if it is at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.71,"endTime":629.13,"body":"work, a close friend, if it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.71,"endTime":629.13,"body":"dealing with somebody at home,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.55,"endTime":633.03,"body":"somebody that you can trust to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.55,"endTime":633.03,"body":"have a conversation around? How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.03,"endTime":636.48,"body":"do I, how do I move forward in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.03,"endTime":636.48,"body":"this? How do I gain perspective,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.9,"endTime":641.25,"body":"what allows me to make a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.9,"endTime":641.25,"body":"response here and own up to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.25,"endTime":644.76,"body":"actions that took place, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.25,"endTime":644.76,"body":"you're going to do this in an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.76,"endTime":648.27,"body":"effort not to fix what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.76,"endTime":648.27,"body":"transpired, you can't fix it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.27,"endTime":652.23,"body":"right. So if you had an issue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.27,"endTime":652.23,"body":"where you did something wrong,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":652.23,"endTime":655.41,"body":"or something at work didn't go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":652.23,"endTime":655.41,"body":"right, you're not going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.41,"endTime":660.36,"body":"able to fix that in the moment."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.41,"endTime":660.36,"body":"But you do have the ability to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.36,"endTime":664.2,"body":"repair the relationship moving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.36,"endTime":664.2,"body":"forward, you have the option to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.2,"endTime":668.91,"body":"go ahead and unlocked a door to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.2,"endTime":668.91,"body":"the feature that may allow you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":668.91,"endTime":672.48,"body":"to have a better relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":668.91,"endTime":672.48,"body":"with whomever the issue might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.48,"endTime":675.81,"body":"taking place. And I say that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.48,"endTime":675.81,"body":"because typically, when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":675.81,"endTime":680.04,"body":"going back and looking backwards"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":675.81,"endTime":680.04,"body":"in time, you're gonna start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":680.04,"endTime":682.56,"body":"lay blame, you're gonna say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":680.04,"endTime":682.56,"body":"Well, it wasn't my fault, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":682.56,"endTime":686.94,"body":"this took place, I might not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":682.56,"endTime":686.94,"body":"have had all the information, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.94,"endTime":689.97,"body":"acted too quickly. And instead,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.94,"endTime":689.97,"body":"you're going to focus on what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.97,"endTime":693.51,"body":"coming up, like, what, what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.97,"endTime":693.51,"body":"the future here? If I take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.51,"endTime":697.89,"body":"responsibility for my actions?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.51,"endTime":697.89,"body":"So how do you know when the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.89,"endTime":701.07,"body":"blame came as beginning? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.89,"endTime":701.07,"body":"what are the actions that take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.07,"endTime":704.64,"body":"place? I think the first is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.07,"endTime":704.64,"body":"finger pointing, we definitely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.64,"endTime":707.64,"body":"know that we're gonna say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.64,"endTime":707.64,"body":"something along the lines of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.64,"endTime":711.0,"body":"well, I wasn't able to finish"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.64,"endTime":711.0,"body":"this project. Because Peter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":711.0,"endTime":713.91,"body":"didn't give me the information,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":711.0,"endTime":713.91,"body":"the numbers, the facts, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.91,"endTime":716.79,"body":"figures, whatever it may be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.91,"endTime":716.79,"body":"three days ago, when I needed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":716.79,"endTime":722.4,"body":"them. The truth is, perhaps you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":716.79,"endTime":722.4,"body":"forgot to approach Peter, or you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.4,"endTime":725.64,"body":"should have approached Peter and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.4,"endTime":725.64,"body":"asked for them, rather than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.64,"endTime":729.27,"body":"taking the passive action of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.64,"endTime":729.27,"body":"waiting until it was too late."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.99,"endTime":731.61,"body":"And when you're not being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.99,"endTime":731.61,"body":"proactive, and you're being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.61,"endTime":735.15,"body":"passive, in that situation, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.61,"endTime":735.15,"body":"next step is denial, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.15,"endTime":738.3,"body":"going to say, well, that's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.15,"endTime":738.3,"body":"on me. It's not my fault that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.3,"endTime":741.51,"body":"Peter didn't give me the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.3,"endTime":741.51,"body":"information. And third is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.6,"endTime":747.09,"body":"negativity, we're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.6,"endTime":747.09,"body":"constantly try and find somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":747.09,"endTime":750.72,"body":"else to be at fault for what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":747.09,"endTime":750.72,"body":"took place. And we're fixated on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.72,"endTime":754.26,"body":"that we're fixated on saying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.72,"endTime":754.26,"body":"No, it wasn't me, it's not on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.26,"endTime":757.23,"body":"me. And this is true in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.26,"endTime":757.23,"body":"personal lives as well. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.23,"endTime":761.22,"body":"just not at work. So in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.23,"endTime":761.22,"body":"personal lives, I'm not perfect,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":761.22,"endTime":764.49,"body":"I get that. I have issues at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":761.22,"endTime":764.49,"body":"home, just like everybody else."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.85,"endTime":770.07,"body":"But I think what works well, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.85,"endTime":770.07,"body":"that I am very quick to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.07,"endTime":774.3,"body":"apologize, very quick to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.07,"endTime":774.3,"body":"ownership and say, You know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.3,"endTime":777.3,"body":"what, I shouldn't have said that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.3,"endTime":777.3,"body":"I shouldn't have done that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":777.72,"endTime":782.43,"body":"That's on me. That's on me to to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":777.72,"endTime":782.43,"body":"be proactive about that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":783.0,"endTime":785.91,"body":"And it's not an easy thing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":783.0,"endTime":785.91,"body":"do, I get that. I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.91,"endTime":790.44,"body":"married for going on 26 years."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.91,"endTime":790.44,"body":"And it's taken a long time to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.44,"endTime":795.36,"body":"realize that my actions are just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.44,"endTime":795.36,"body":"as important as my reactions to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.36,"endTime":799.74,"body":"situations, actually, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.36,"endTime":799.74,"body":"reactions are more important. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.74,"endTime":803.19,"body":"the quicker that I can say that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.74,"endTime":803.19,"body":"I'm sorry, that I can put things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.19,"endTime":806.55,"body":"in place to move forward, that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":803.19,"endTime":806.55,"body":"think the better the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.55,"endTime":810.9,"body":"relationship becomes, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.55,"endTime":810.9,"body":"there's a trust, there is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.9,"endTime":814.59,"body":"knowledge that, yes, we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.9,"endTime":814.59,"body":"going to make mistakes as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.59,"endTime":819.12,"body":"couple. But if we're quick to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.59,"endTime":819.12,"body":"say, Sorry, to one another, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.12,"endTime":824.91,"body":"I think that repairs quickly. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.12,"endTime":824.91,"body":"allows for us to move forward in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.91,"endTime":828.42,"body":"our relationship and understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.91,"endTime":828.42,"body":"that we're human and we do make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.42,"endTime":832.32,"body":"mistakes. At work, it's a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.42,"endTime":832.32,"body":"bit more difficult. Especially"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.32,"endTime":836.82,"body":"if we're trying to climb a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":832.32,"endTime":836.82,"body":"ladder, or be really aggressive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.82,"endTime":840.96,"body":"in our work towards becoming a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.82,"endTime":840.96,"body":"better leader or trying to move"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.96,"endTime":845.31,"body":"forward. It's it's harder to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.96,"endTime":845.31,"body":"take blame and say that Nope,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.31,"endTime":850.11,"body":"that's on me. I screwed up. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.31,"endTime":850.11,"body":"I'll tell you, those leaders who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.11,"endTime":852.18,"body":"do those sorts of things are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.11,"endTime":852.18,"body":"those people in the workplace"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":852.18,"endTime":855.48,"body":"that do those sorts of things,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":852.18,"endTime":855.48,"body":"actually get more respect from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.48,"endTime":858.15,"body":"their, from their colleagues,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.48,"endTime":858.15,"body":"because their colleagues see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.15,"endTime":861.18,"body":"them as somebody who's willing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.15,"endTime":861.18,"body":"to say, you know what, I screwed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.18,"endTime":865.41,"body":"up. And here's how I screwed up."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.18,"endTime":865.41,"body":"And here's how I'm going to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.41,"endTime":868.68,"body":"it better the next time. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.41,"endTime":868.68,"body":"think it's all really people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.68,"endTime":872.16,"body":"want to know, they want to know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.68,"endTime":872.16,"body":"that you recognize that you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.16,"endTime":876.99,"body":"make mistakes, and that you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.16,"endTime":876.99,"body":"open and honest about trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.99,"endTime":881.34,"body":"fix them and to move forward"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.99,"endTime":881.34,"body":"with the relationship at hand."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.03,"endTime":885.96,"body":"So what steps can we take to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.03,"endTime":885.96,"body":"kind of take responsibility for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.96,"endTime":891.54,"body":"our lives to remove the blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.96,"endTime":891.54,"body":"game to remove the shame of not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.57,"endTime":895.02,"body":"moving forward with being a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.57,"endTime":895.02,"body":"better person around these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.02,"endTime":898.95,"body":"situations? I think there's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.02,"endTime":898.95,"body":"a couple of steps that we can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.95,"endTime":902.88,"body":"first is Apollo. eyes when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.95,"endTime":902.88,"body":"you're wrong, and accept the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.88,"endTime":905.07,"body":"fact that you're not always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.88,"endTime":905.07,"body":"right. I think that's the harder"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.07,"endTime":909.21,"body":"part. Sometimes people see it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.07,"endTime":909.21,"body":"easier to apologize. But it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.21,"endTime":912.09,"body":"two step process, you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.21,"endTime":912.09,"body":"apologize. And you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.09,"endTime":916.98,"body":"accept the fact that you are not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.09,"endTime":916.98,"body":"always right. You're not always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.98,"endTime":919.17,"body":"right to, you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.17,"endTime":922.8,"body":"to admit, when you've made a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.17,"endTime":922.8,"body":"mistake, be the bigger person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.07,"endTime":926.34,"body":"be the one who goes forward and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.07,"endTime":926.34,"body":"says, You know what I did screw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.34,"endTime":931.95,"body":"up. And in that process, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.34,"endTime":931.95,"body":"learn to forgive, and to let go,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":931.95,"endTime":933.99,"body":"and so does the other person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":931.95,"endTime":933.99,"body":"with whom you're working,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.32,"endTime":936.66,"body":"whether that's your partner at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.32,"endTime":936.66,"body":"home, your spouse, somebody at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.66,"endTime":940.74,"body":"work, they learn to forgive and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.66,"endTime":940.74,"body":"let go as well. When you're open"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.74,"endTime":944.61,"body":"and transparent. In that way,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.74,"endTime":944.61,"body":"you have to be open to the ideas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.61,"endTime":947.55,"body":"and opinions of others, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.61,"endTime":947.55,"body":"can't be closed minded. Your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.55,"endTime":950.37,"body":"viewpoint is not the only valid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.55,"endTime":950.37,"body":"viewpoint, if you take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.37,"endTime":952.83,"body":"information from all sides, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.37,"endTime":952.83,"body":"this is this is important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.83,"endTime":955.41,"body":"anyway, it doesn't matter if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.83,"endTime":955.41,"body":"you're at work or at home, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.41,"endTime":958.86,"body":"have to be open, that somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.41,"endTime":958.86,"body":"else may have an opinion or idea"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.86,"endTime":962.52,"body":"that is different from yours,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.86,"endTime":962.52,"body":"that actually could be better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":962.52,"endTime":966.6,"body":"than yours. Next, think about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":962.52,"endTime":966.6,"body":"trying to identify the things in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.6,"endTime":969.81,"body":"your life that you're not happy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.6,"endTime":969.81,"body":"about, and then do something to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":969.81,"endTime":973.65,"body":"change them. If you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":969.81,"endTime":973.65,"body":"something that's nagging at you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.65,"endTime":976.35,"body":"that's not working, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.65,"endTime":976.35,"body":"keeping you from meeting your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":976.35,"endTime":981.93,"body":"goals that is not sitting well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":976.35,"endTime":981.93,"body":"with you, then identify those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.96,"endTime":985.5,"body":"and do something about them. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.96,"endTime":985.5,"body":"you don't, that's when blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":985.5,"endTime":988.89,"body":"comes in even more. We're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":985.5,"endTime":988.89,"body":"making progress in our lives, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.89,"endTime":992.37,"body":"want to blame somebody else,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.89,"endTime":992.37,"body":"when it's really on ourselves. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.37,"endTime":996.6,"body":"also think that it's important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":992.37,"endTime":996.6,"body":"to practice saying, I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.63,"endTime":1001.07,"body":"responsible for my actions, I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.63,"endTime":1001.07,"body":"responsible for my actions. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.07,"endTime":1005.39,"body":"keep doing that until you start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.07,"endTime":1005.39,"body":"to believe that it's true."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.75,"endTime":1008.87,"body":"Because it is true until you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.75,"endTime":1008.87,"body":"admit that you're responsible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.87,"endTime":1012.68,"body":"for your actions, you will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.87,"endTime":1012.68,"body":"continue to play the blame game."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.4,"endTime":1017.12,"body":"I also think you have to, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.4,"endTime":1017.12,"body":"this is everything that I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.12,"endTime":1020.42,"body":"about right, this is what this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.12,"endTime":1020.42,"body":"podcast is about is is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.42,"endTime":1024.71,"body":"positivity on fire is that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.42,"endTime":1024.71,"body":"have to adopt a positive outlook"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.71,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"on life, you have to be the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.71,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"glass is half full, as opposed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1032.36,"body":"to the glass is half empty kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1032.36,"body":"of person. And when you start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.36,"endTime":1035.21,"body":"do that, I think the next step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.36,"endTime":1035.21,"body":"is you, you really start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.21,"endTime":1039.32,"body":"recognize and embrace your own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.21,"endTime":1039.32,"body":"shortcomings. But more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.32,"endTime":1042.8,"body":"importantly, and you realize"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.32,"endTime":1042.8,"body":"that you're not perfect, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.8,"endTime":1047.15,"body":"that you can ask for help. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.8,"endTime":1047.15,"body":"think that really set you up for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.15,"endTime":1051.5,"body":"success. I know recently, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.15,"endTime":1051.5,"body":"couple of months ago, I was in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.5,"endTime":1057.11,"body":"partnership with somebody trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.5,"endTime":1057.11,"body":"to build a business. And because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.11,"endTime":1060.02,"body":"of COVID and issues that were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.11,"endTime":1060.02,"body":"happening along the way, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.02,"endTime":1064.34,"body":"couldn't focus on the business"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.02,"endTime":1064.34,"body":"as much as I needed to. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.34,"endTime":1067.58,"body":"knew that was on me. But it took"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.34,"endTime":1067.58,"body":"a little while for me to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.64,"endTime":1072.05,"body":"recognize that. And over the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.64,"endTime":1072.05,"body":"course of the conversation, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.05,"endTime":1076.4,"body":"admitted to my partner in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.05,"endTime":1076.4,"body":"relationship that I have trouble"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1076.4,"endTime":1079.4,"body":"asking for help. I know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1076.4,"endTime":1079.4,"body":"about myself. And when we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1079.46,"endTime":1081.86,"body":"talking about ending the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1079.46,"endTime":1081.86,"body":"partnership at some point in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.86,"endTime":1087.26,"body":"time. And that's what my partner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.86,"endTime":1087.26,"body":"pointed to. They said, you and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1087.32,"endTime":1090.65,"body":"need to be partners. And in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1087.32,"endTime":1090.65,"body":"order to do that successfully,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.71,"endTime":1094.16,"body":"you have to say when you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.71,"endTime":1094.16,"body":"help when you can't follow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.16,"endTime":1097.07,"body":"through with a task, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.16,"endTime":1097.07,"body":"there are other factors in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.07,"endTime":1101.36,"body":"life that are stopping you from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.07,"endTime":1101.36,"body":"doing that. Or they're holding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.36,"endTime":1104.57,"body":"you up for meeting them. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.36,"endTime":1104.57,"body":"I've thought a lot about that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.84,"endTime":1110.36,"body":"over the last six months or so."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.84,"endTime":1110.36,"body":"And I realized now that that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.36,"endTime":1113.75,"body":"been a part of my whole life is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.36,"endTime":1113.75,"body":"that I do have trouble asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.75,"endTime":1116.96,"body":"for help. I want to get things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.75,"endTime":1116.96,"body":"done, and I want to take care of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.96,"endTime":1120.59,"body":"them well, but sometimes life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.96,"endTime":1120.59,"body":"gets in the way. And when they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.59,"endTime":1123.89,"body":"do. I struggle with that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.59,"endTime":1123.89,"body":"concept. Now I've made progress"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1123.95,"endTime":1127.7,"body":"with that over the last six"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1123.95,"endTime":1127.7,"body":"months, because this person had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.94,"endTime":1132.74,"body":"the, you know, the courage to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.94,"endTime":1132.74,"body":"say to me, hey, Jay, listen,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1132.74,"endTime":1136.01,"body":"this isn't working out. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1132.74,"endTime":1136.01,"body":"here's why. And I think if more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.01,"endTime":1139.34,"body":"of us take the time to not blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.01,"endTime":1139.34,"body":"somebody and just say this isn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.34,"endTime":1142.91,"body":"working, I'm done, and be open"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.34,"endTime":1142.91,"body":"and transparent about why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1142.91,"endTime":1145.97,"body":"something is not working, then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1142.91,"endTime":1145.97,"body":"think the better we would all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1149.81,"body":"be. And I love the fact that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1149.81,"body":"they were open and honest with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.81,"endTime":1154.13,"body":"me. It says a lot about them as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.81,"endTime":1154.13,"body":"a person. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.13,"endTime":1157.55,"body":"openness now has allowed me to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.13,"endTime":1157.55,"body":"be better equipped to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1157.55,"endTime":1160.1,"body":"any potential problems that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1157.55,"endTime":1160.1,"body":"may have in the future around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.1,"endTime":1163.22,"body":"this. And I'm not going to blame"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.1,"endTime":1163.22,"body":"myself anymore, I'm actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.22,"endTime":1167.39,"body":"going to reach out and ask for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.22,"endTime":1167.39,"body":"assistance when I need it. Or to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.39,"endTime":1171.26,"body":"ask a colleague to take on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.39,"endTime":1171.26,"body":"task when I have too much on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.26,"endTime":1174.92,"body":"plate. Because that's how teams"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.26,"endTime":1174.92,"body":"work better together. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1174.92,"endTime":1179.06,"body":"same is true at home. You can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1174.92,"endTime":1179.06,"body":"complete a task for your spouse"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.06,"endTime":1182.69,"body":"or you can check something off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1179.06,"endTime":1182.69,"body":"the honey do list then let them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1182.69,"endTime":1186.62,"body":"know give them give them a heads"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1182.69,"endTime":1186.62,"body":"up or give them information as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1186.62,"endTime":1191.27,"body":"to why this has been a different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1186.62,"endTime":1191.27,"body":"call task and if need be calling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.48,"endTime":1194.93,"body":"assistance for help. I think the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1191.48,"endTime":1194.93,"body":"most important part in all of us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.93,"endTime":1197.99,"body":"is you have to learn from your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.93,"endTime":1197.99,"body":"mistakes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.59,"endTime":1202.49,"body":"You have to identify where there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.59,"endTime":1202.49,"body":"were breakdowns and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.49,"endTime":1205.94,"body":"communication, where there may"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.49,"endTime":1205.94,"body":"have been opportunities for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.94,"endTime":1209.33,"body":"growth where there may be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.94,"endTime":1209.33,"body":"opportunities for you to look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.33,"endTime":1213.05,"body":"inside yourself to say, here's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.33,"endTime":1213.05,"body":"how I can correct this behavior."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.05,"endTime":1216.26,"body":"Here's how I can get better at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.05,"endTime":1216.26,"body":"that. And here's how I can stop"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.26,"endTime":1219.89,"body":"putting blame on others, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.26,"endTime":1219.89,"body":"look inward into my own life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.4,"endTime":1223.52,"body":"into my own actions, and say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.4,"endTime":1223.52,"body":"this is how I'm going to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.52,"endTime":1227.18,"body":"better person moving forward."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.52,"endTime":1227.18,"body":"And because this, this topic is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.18,"endTime":1230.3,"body":"such a weighty topic, I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.18,"endTime":1230.3,"body":"love to further the conversation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.3,"endTime":1234.74,"body":"with you. If you go over to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.3,"endTime":1234.74,"body":"facebook.com slash positivity on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.74,"endTime":1238.07,"body":"fire, that's the show site on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.74,"endTime":1238.07,"body":"Facebook. I'd love to engage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.07,"endTime":1241.1,"body":"with you there. Come on over,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.07,"endTime":1241.1,"body":"let's have a conversation. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.13,"endTime":1244.37,"body":"I'll put a post up that will be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.13,"endTime":1244.37,"body":"able to guide you around this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1244.37,"endTime":1247.55,"body":"topic with one of the articles"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1244.37,"endTime":1247.55,"body":"that will be in the show notes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.55,"endTime":1251.66,"body":"from today's episode. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.55,"endTime":1251.66,"body":"really think it's important in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1251.66,"endTime":1255.74,"body":"this topic in particular, it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1251.66,"endTime":1255.74,"body":"such a hard one for us to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.86,"endTime":1258.83,"body":"open and transparent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.86,"endTime":1258.83,"body":"conversations around him in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.83,"endTime":1262.73,"body":"order to become a better person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.83,"endTime":1262.73,"body":"in our personal lives and in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1262.73,"endTime":1263.78,"body":"professional lives."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.349,"endTime":1267.649,"body":"And in closing today, thank you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.349,"endTime":1267.649,"body":"for being here. I've saved every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.649,"endTime":1269.629,"body":"single time but your gift of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.649,"endTime":1269.629,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1273.02,"body":"listening to the show does mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1273.02,"body":"the world to me. It's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.02,"endTime":1276.86,"body":"greatest gift you can give. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.02,"endTime":1276.86,"body":"thank you. And always remember,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.07,"endTime":1282.38,"body":"be well be happy, be you and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.07,"endTime":1282.38,"body":"until the next time. May your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1282.38,"endTime":1288.53,"body":"quest for positivity begin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1282.38,"endTime":1288.53,"body":"today. If you like today's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.53,"endTime":1292.64,"body":"episode, please go to pod"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.53,"endTime":1292.64,"body":"chaser.com search for positivity"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.64,"endTime":1296.72,"body":"on fire and leave a five star"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.64,"endTime":1296.72,"body":"rating and review. For more on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.72,"endTime":1300.59,"body":"my positivity quest. Follow me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.72,"endTime":1300.59,"body":"at positively underscore Jay on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.59,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"Instagram or Tiktok or engage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.59,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"with the show by visiting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.89,"endTime":1308.33,"body":"direct.me slash Jason Ramsden."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.89,"endTime":1308.33,"body":"Have an amazing day."}]}