{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.6,"body":"I've learned"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.6,"body":"my limitations, and I learned"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":3.63,"endTime":9.12,"body":"not to be ashamed of them, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":3.63,"endTime":9.12,"body":"that it's okay. It's okay to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":9.12,"endTime":13.47,"body":"say, You know what? I don't I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":9.12,"endTime":13.47,"body":"don't know how to do this, or I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":13.47,"endTime":17.4,"body":"or I'm scared to do this, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":13.47,"endTime":17.4,"body":"that it's okay. I don't have to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":17.4,"endTime":21.42,"body":"be wonderwoman for all the time"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":17.4,"endTime":21.42,"body":"for all the people."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":21.6,"endTime":24.06,"body":"Hi, I'm Jason"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":21.6,"endTime":24.06,"body":"Ramsden and I believe we can all"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":24.06,"endTime":27.0,"body":"work on leading a more positive"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":24.06,"endTime":27.0,"body":"and intentional life. And this"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":27.0,"endTime":30.39,"body":"show details my journey by"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":27.0,"endTime":30.39,"body":"sharing my learning stories and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":30.39,"endTime":32.79,"body":"conversations with guests. If"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":30.39,"endTime":32.79,"body":"you want to lead a more"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":32.79,"endTime":35.85,"body":"intentional life, focus on being"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":32.79,"endTime":35.85,"body":"the best you possible. Please"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":35.85,"endTime":41.88,"body":"subscribe today. Now, let's get"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":35.85,"endTime":41.88,"body":"into today's episode. Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":41.88,"endTime":45.57,"body":"positivity posse and welcome to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":41.88,"endTime":45.57,"body":"another episode of positivity on"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":45.57,"endTime":49.02,"body":"fire. Today, I had the pleasure"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":45.57,"endTime":49.02,"body":"to reconnect with a longtime"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":49.02,"endTime":51.84,"body":"friend of mine, Denise"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":49.02,"endTime":51.84,"body":"Gillespie. Denise is a special"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":51.84,"endTime":55.53,"body":"education teacher in Maryland, a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":51.84,"endTime":55.53,"body":"mother of two and also someone"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":55.53,"endTime":58.86,"body":"who has struggled with addiction"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":55.53,"endTime":58.86,"body":"to alcohol and food. In today's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":58.86,"endTime":62.61,"body":"episode, Denise shares her"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":58.86,"endTime":62.61,"body":"journey towards sobriety how she"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":62.61,"endTime":65.52,"body":"handles her recovery and how she"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":62.61,"endTime":65.52,"body":"is helping others to move"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":65.52,"endTime":68.79,"body":"forward in their own lives. I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":65.52,"endTime":68.79,"body":"honored that Denise had the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":68.79,"endTime":71.91,"body":"courage to share her story on"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":68.79,"endTime":71.91,"body":"the show today. And I hope that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":71.91,"endTime":77.04,"body":"it speaks to you in the way that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":71.91,"endTime":77.04,"body":"it spoke to me. Nice Gillespie"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":77.04,"endTime":80.91,"body":"my girlfriend. Welcome to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":77.04,"endTime":80.91,"body":"positivity on fire. How the heck"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":80.91,"endTime":81.42,"body":"are you?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":81.6,"endTime":85.14,"body":"I am fabulous."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":81.6,"endTime":85.14,"body":"It is awesome to be here and to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":85.23,"endTime":87.27,"body":"spend some more time with you."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":87.57,"endTime":89.73,"body":"It is really good"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":87.57,"endTime":89.73,"body":"to see your face too. I know"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":89.73,"endTime":93.39,"body":"we've talked on the phone. Yes."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":89.73,"endTime":93.39,"body":"Connected elsewhere on social"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":93.39,"endTime":95.94,"body":"but it's so good to see your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":93.39,"endTime":95.94,"body":"face. I mean most people don't"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":95.94,"endTime":101.34,"body":"know you and I go way back way"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":95.94,"endTime":101.34,"body":"back 35 plus years all the way"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":101.34,"endTime":105.0,"body":"to college. Oh my golly more"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":101.34,"endTime":105.0,"body":"than that now. Yeah, I know we"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":105.0,"endTime":108.84,"body":"want speak. Exactly. We won't"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":105.0,"endTime":108.84,"body":"talk about that. But I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":109.289,"endTime":110.879,"body":"35 years."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":111.39,"endTime":112.02,"body":"Well"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":112.11,"endTime":115.5,"body":"already two"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":112.11,"endTime":115.5,"body":"years 32 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":115.5,"endTime":115.95,"body":"sorry."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":116.19,"endTime":119.7,"body":"No, you're fine."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":116.19,"endTime":119.7,"body":"Okay. No, but so not when you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":119.7,"endTime":122.46,"body":"graduated or when I graduated."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":119.7,"endTime":122.46,"body":"Or freshman"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.49,"endTime":126.45,"body":"Yes. Okay, sorry sorry."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":126.75,"endTime":129.27,"body":"It's been a long"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":126.75,"endTime":129.27,"body":"time my dear friend. Well it's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":129.27,"endTime":133.23,"body":"good to see you and I'm excited"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":129.27,"endTime":133.23,"body":"to have you share with my"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":133.23,"endTime":136.35,"body":"listeners a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":133.23,"endTime":136.35,"body":"your life and your journey when"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":136.35,"endTime":141.06,"body":"we caught up a couple of months"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":136.35,"endTime":141.06,"body":"ago I had no idea so I'm sitting"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":141.06,"endTime":147.39,"body":"here saying my good friend and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":141.06,"endTime":147.39,"body":"he had no clue kind of weigh in"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":147.39,"endTime":151.11,"body":"on in your life count me out as"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":147.39,"endTime":151.11,"body":"a good friend. I was just a guy"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":151.11,"endTime":154.83,"body":"from way long ago you've been on"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":151.11,"endTime":154.83,"body":"a journey my friend yes I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":154.83,"endTime":157.23,"body":"have yes I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":154.83,"endTime":157.23,"body":"have it has been it has been"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":157.23,"endTime":160.65,"body":"quite a quite a road not"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":157.23,"endTime":160.65,"body":"necessarily the road I thought I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":160.65,"endTime":164.43,"body":"was going to be taking but but"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":160.65,"endTime":164.43,"body":"uh yeah glad we're the road"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":164.43,"endTime":166.11,"body":"ended up let's put it that way"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":164.43,"endTime":166.11,"body":"so"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":166.47,"endTime":169.59,"body":"but that's life"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":166.47,"endTime":169.59,"body":"right? Nobody's absolutely Tell"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":169.59,"endTime":172.56,"body":"me what what's your life motto?"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":169.59,"endTime":172.56,"body":"having gone through what you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":172.56,"endTime":174.54,"body":"went through and we'll get into"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":172.56,"endTime":174.54,"body":"that a little bit I know you'll"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":174.54,"endTime":178.86,"body":"share your story but what what's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":174.54,"endTime":178.86,"body":"your life motto these days?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":179.64,"endTime":183.24,"body":"These days in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":179.64,"endTime":183.24,"body":"a nutshell it's pretty much you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":183.24,"endTime":189.45,"body":"do you boo like that I am a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":183.24,"endTime":189.45,"body":"special ed teacher and so and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":189.45,"endTime":195.03,"body":"that's what I tell my kids I say"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":189.45,"endTime":195.03,"body":"you do you boo because I grew up"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":195.24,"endTime":198.96,"body":"always doing what I thought"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":195.24,"endTime":198.96,"body":"everybody else wanted me to do"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":199.62,"endTime":203.46,"body":"and becoming the person I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":199.62,"endTime":203.46,"body":"thought I was supposed to be and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":203.46,"endTime":208.53,"body":"it has taken me a good 45 years"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":203.46,"endTime":208.53,"body":"to just you know kind of stop"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":208.53,"endTime":212.01,"body":"and say what is it what is it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":208.53,"endTime":212.01,"body":"that I want? What is it that I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":212.01,"endTime":216.78,"body":"want to do? And to be able to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":212.01,"endTime":216.78,"body":"kind of take that that idea of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":217.08,"endTime":221.13,"body":"you know, it's okay to do what I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":217.08,"endTime":221.13,"body":"want to do and you do you boo"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":221.19,"endTime":225.9,"body":"you know and that it's okay and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":221.19,"endTime":225.9,"body":"it's not selfish. It's important"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":225.93,"endTime":230.01,"body":"to do what I want to do and to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":225.93,"endTime":230.01,"body":"take that time so yeah, so I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":230.01,"endTime":232.86,"body":"even have a T shirt because you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":230.01,"endTime":232.86,"body":"know I love a T shirt that has a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":232.86,"endTime":236.88,"body":"message you know and I say you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":232.86,"endTime":236.88,"body":"do you boo it's it's short and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":236.88,"endTime":238.41,"body":"simple. And to the point"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":238.74,"endTime":240.84,"body":"it which fits"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":238.74,"endTime":240.84,"body":"perfectly in with your shirt,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":240.84,"endTime":244.56,"body":"right? Obviously listeners can't"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":240.84,"endTime":244.56,"body":"see I can't see it. It says her"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":244.56,"endTime":248.01,"body":"shirt says mom, myth legend,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":244.56,"endTime":248.01,"body":"which actually fits right in"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":248.01,"endTime":249.03,"body":"with you. Do you, boo."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":249.3,"endTime":250.32,"body":"You do you boo."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":251.46,"endTime":254.19,"body":"I love it. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":251.46,"endTime":254.19,"body":"And how did that? How did that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":254.19,"endTime":257.58,"body":"come to pass? What? What was the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":254.19,"endTime":257.58,"body":"defining moment where you were"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":257.58,"endTime":262.53,"body":"like, you know what, I am going"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":257.58,"endTime":262.53,"body":"to no longer try and fit into"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":262.53,"endTime":266.07,"body":"the mold of what somebody else"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":262.53,"endTime":266.07,"body":"wants me to believe the or, or"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":266.07,"endTime":268.56,"body":"the mold of what I believe"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":266.07,"endTime":268.56,"body":"somebody else wants me to be."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":268.62,"endTime":270.06,"body":"What was the turning point for"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":268.62,"endTime":270.06,"body":"you?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":270.51,"endTime":273.06,"body":"It was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":270.51,"endTime":273.06,"body":"probably when I went to rehab,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":273.27,"endTime":278.04,"body":"you know it was and that was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":273.27,"endTime":278.04,"body":"over five years ago. It was May"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":278.4,"endTime":285.9,"body":"17 2016. And I was at the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":278.4,"endTime":285.9,"body":"darkest point of my life. I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":285.9,"endTime":291.36,"body":"in a deep, deep, deep stage of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":285.9,"endTime":291.36,"body":"alcoholism where it had taken"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":291.36,"endTime":298.11,"body":"over everything in my life and I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":291.36,"endTime":298.11,"body":"fought getting help because in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":298.11,"endTime":304.08,"body":"my mind it was like well How can"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":298.11,"endTime":304.08,"body":"I go away, and, and take care of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":304.08,"endTime":308.34,"body":"myself, I'm a mother, I'm a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":304.08,"endTime":308.34,"body":"teacher, I I've got obligations,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":308.37,"endTime":311.88,"body":"you know, I was I was so warped"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":308.37,"endTime":311.88,"body":"in my thinking, right. And then"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":311.88,"endTime":317.01,"body":"it was kind of like, when I just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":311.88,"endTime":317.01,"body":"had no fight left in me. And I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":317.01,"endTime":321.51,"body":"said, I have to go away, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":317.01,"endTime":321.51,"body":"physically had to leave my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":321.51,"endTime":326.55,"body":"little cocoon, and I had to just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":321.51,"endTime":326.55,"body":"go and focus on myself. And I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":326.55,"endTime":329.82,"body":"had to step away from my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":326.55,"endTime":329.82,"body":"children, my relationship, my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":329.82,"endTime":337.5,"body":"job, my mother, and put all of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":329.82,"endTime":337.5,"body":"my energy into myself, I had to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":337.5,"endTime":342.0,"body":"do me, you know, for the first"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":337.5,"endTime":342.0,"body":"time in my life, and I had to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":342.0,"endTime":345.27,"body":"okay with it. And it didn't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":342.0,"endTime":345.27,"body":"just, you know, like, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":345.27,"endTime":348.0,"body":"just go to rehab, and it was,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":345.27,"endTime":348.0,"body":"Oh, it was all, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":348.0,"endTime":352.77,"body":"miracles, it still takes me that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":348.0,"endTime":352.77,"body":"little extra step to say, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":352.77,"endTime":358.17,"body":"this is what I need, and to take"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":352.77,"endTime":358.17,"body":"that time for myself. Because if"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":358.2,"endTime":362.1,"body":"if mommy's not, you know, all"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":358.2,"endTime":362.1,"body":"put together and other things,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":362.7,"endTime":366.0,"body":"other things are affected. And I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":362.7,"endTime":366.0,"body":"understand that now, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":366.0,"endTime":369.9,"body":"understand that then. So I, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":366.0,"endTime":369.9,"body":"know, to take that time, and to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":369.9,"endTime":373.98,"body":"get myself in check and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":369.9,"endTime":373.98,"body":"understand what it is that I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":373.98,"endTime":377.25,"body":"dealing with, and why I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":373.98,"endTime":377.25,"body":"dealing with it. So that was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":377.25,"endTime":381.15,"body":"probably, you know, that that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":377.25,"endTime":381.15,"body":"moment that day, I can even"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":381.15,"endTime":385.08,"body":"remember that night before, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":381.15,"endTime":385.08,"body":"know, saying, I have to do this,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":385.11,"endTime":386.46,"body":"I gotta I gotta do me,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":386.94,"endTime":388.8,"body":"you got to do you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":386.94,"endTime":388.8,"body":"and, and again, and make a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":388.8,"endTime":393.18,"body":"change that is going to kind of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":388.8,"endTime":393.18,"body":"propel you and move you forward"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":393.69,"endTime":398.07,"body":"in your life. And, and I know,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":393.69,"endTime":398.07,"body":"you know, when we talked right,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":398.22,"endTime":402.24,"body":"you were telling me a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":398.22,"endTime":402.24,"body":"about how you saw yourself as"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":402.27,"endTime":406.08,"body":"one person, because that's what"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":402.27,"endTime":406.08,"body":"you thought people wanted to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":406.08,"endTime":409.8,"body":"see. Right. And I know lots of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":406.08,"endTime":409.8,"body":"people, for those who listen to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":409.8,"endTime":412.86,"body":"the show fall into that same"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":409.8,"endTime":412.86,"body":"category of they, they're trying"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":412.86,"endTime":420.3,"body":"so hard to be something or"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":412.86,"endTime":420.3,"body":"someone for someone else. That"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":420.36,"endTime":423.51,"body":"or, or they spend all their time"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":420.36,"endTime":423.51,"body":"helping other people that they"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":423.51,"endTime":429.48,"body":"never spend time helping"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":423.51,"endTime":429.48,"body":"themselves. And the whole crux"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":429.48,"endTime":432.45,"body":"of this show, right? positivity,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":429.48,"endTime":432.45,"body":"no fire, ordinary people,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":432.45,"endTime":436.23,"body":"extraordinary positivity, which"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":432.45,"endTime":436.23,"body":"you've come to be Now, you may"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":436.23,"endTime":439.08,"body":"not have been in that spot"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":436.23,"endTime":439.08,"body":"before. Right? You're there."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":439.26,"endTime":443.16,"body":"You're there now. So tell me a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":439.26,"endTime":443.16,"body":"little bit about what you've"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":443.16,"endTime":446.85,"body":"learned about yourself in the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":443.16,"endTime":446.85,"body":"process of recovery, and over"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":446.85,"endTime":449.1,"body":"the last five years, and then"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":446.85,"endTime":449.1,"body":"we'll talk a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":449.1,"endTime":451.86,"body":"what you're doing now. But what"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":449.1,"endTime":451.86,"body":"have you learned about yourself?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":452.82,"endTime":455.46,"body":"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":452.82,"endTime":455.46,"body":"learned that and it was kind of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":455.46,"endTime":459.87,"body":"ironic, because I went into"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":455.46,"endTime":459.87,"body":"special education. And the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":459.87,"endTime":462.99,"body":"reason one of the reasons why I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":459.87,"endTime":462.99,"body":"went into special education was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":462.99,"endTime":466.26,"body":"because I wanted to be that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":462.99,"endTime":466.26,"body":"voice for kids who couldn't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":466.26,"endTime":470.91,"body":"speak for themselves. And, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":466.26,"endTime":470.91,"body":"then in my process, I realized,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":470.91,"endTime":474.12,"body":"well, how ironic is that?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":470.91,"endTime":474.12,"body":"Because I couldn't speak for"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":474.12,"endTime":478.14,"body":"myself, but I could do it for"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":474.12,"endTime":478.14,"body":"everyone else. You know, I could"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":478.14,"endTime":482.34,"body":"be like you said I could I could"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":478.14,"endTime":482.34,"body":"help anybody who who needed"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":482.34,"endTime":488.19,"body":"something. But I couldn't help"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":482.34,"endTime":488.19,"body":"myself. And that was really, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":488.19,"endTime":490.71,"body":"know, and that was like a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":488.19,"endTime":490.71,"body":"humbling thing to kind of come"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":490.71,"endTime":495.0,"body":"and realize that yes, I in fact,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":490.71,"endTime":495.0,"body":"do need help. And I in fact, am"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.8,"body":"broken. I've learned my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.8,"body":"limitations. And they learned"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":499.83,"endTime":505.56,"body":"not to be ashamed of them, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":499.83,"endTime":505.56,"body":"know, and that it's okay. It's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":505.56,"endTime":509.28,"body":"okay to say, you know what, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":505.56,"endTime":509.28,"body":"don't I don't know how to do"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":509.28,"endTime":513.84,"body":"this, or I or I'm scared to do"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":509.28,"endTime":513.84,"body":"this. And that it's okay. I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":513.84,"endTime":518.76,"body":"don't have to be wonderwoman for"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":513.84,"endTime":518.76,"body":"all the time for all the people."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":519.03,"endTime":521.97,"body":"I mean, and when I say Wonder"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":519.03,"endTime":521.97,"body":"Woman, I used to wear the Wonder"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":521.97,"endTime":525.57,"body":"Woman costume in my classroom. I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":521.97,"endTime":525.57,"body":"mean, that was legit. I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":525.57,"endTime":528.75,"body":"Wonder Woman, because like you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":525.57,"endTime":528.75,"body":"said, I thought that's what"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":528.75,"endTime":532.38,"body":"other people wanted to see. They"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":528.75,"endTime":532.38,"body":"wanted to see that image of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":532.38,"endTime":537.42,"body":"perfection. So I had to queue to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":532.38,"endTime":537.42,"body":"keep that illusion up. So"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":537.42,"endTime":540.6,"body":"really, it's like just just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":537.42,"endTime":540.6,"body":"recognizing that I'm not"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":540.6,"endTime":544.98,"body":"perfect, and it's okay not to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":540.6,"endTime":544.98,"body":"perfect. And that that's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":544.98,"endTime":548.55,"body":"probably the biggest thing. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":544.98,"endTime":548.55,"body":"I have two daughters now. 16 and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":548.55,"endTime":552.48,"body":"21. And that's probably the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":548.55,"endTime":552.48,"body":"biggest thing. I want them to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":552.48,"endTime":555.99,"body":"know that Guess what? Mommy's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":552.48,"endTime":555.99,"body":"not perfect. And mommy has made"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":555.99,"endTime":560.43,"body":"mistakes. But I own up to them."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":555.99,"endTime":560.43,"body":"You know, as I say, and now the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":560.43,"endTime":564.0,"body":"thing is, what do we what do we"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":560.43,"endTime":564.0,"body":"do from this point on? Yes,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":564.0,"endTime":568.05,"body":"stuff has happened to all of us."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":564.0,"endTime":568.05,"body":"But where do we go from here?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":568.08,"endTime":570.66,"body":"That's more important than"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":568.08,"endTime":570.66,"body":"what's happened in the past."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":570.87,"endTime":574.83,"body":"Absolutely. 100%."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":570.87,"endTime":574.83,"body":"Right. But I like to say to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":574.83,"endTime":579.3,"body":"folks, and I've said it on the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":574.83,"endTime":579.3,"body":"show before. Your past defines"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":579.3,"endTime":584.85,"body":"who you are in this moment. But"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":579.3,"endTime":584.85,"body":"what you do today will determine"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":585.03,"endTime":588.81,"body":"who you will be tomorrow. And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":585.03,"endTime":588.81,"body":"that's I love that you talk"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":588.81,"endTime":591.69,"body":"about we're not we're not"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":588.81,"endTime":591.69,"body":"perfect. One of my favorite"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":591.69,"endTime":596.73,"body":"things is that we're all"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":591.69,"endTime":596.73,"body":"imperfectly perfect. Yep. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":596.79,"endTime":600.84,"body":"I feel like that's kind of what"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":596.79,"endTime":600.84,"body":"you came to realize. As part of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":600.84,"endTime":604.26,"body":"your journey is that you're"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":600.84,"endTime":604.26,"body":"right, you were not perfect. And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":604.26,"endTime":608.28,"body":"that's okay. Like it's okay."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":604.26,"endTime":608.28,"body":"Right? And so spread that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":608.28,"endTime":611.88,"body":"message to people to let them"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":608.28,"endTime":611.88,"body":"know, hey, the way you are right"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":611.88,"endTime":616.26,"body":"now is perfect. It may be in"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":611.88,"endTime":616.26,"body":"perfectly perfect, right? But"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":616.26,"endTime":616.8,"body":"that's okay."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":617.4,"endTime":619.77,"body":"Yeah. And what"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":617.4,"endTime":619.77,"body":"I've come to realize too is that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":619.8,"endTime":624.69,"body":"in my speaking out about my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":619.8,"endTime":624.69,"body":"imperfections, kind of like what"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":624.69,"endTime":628.08,"body":"you say with that, if you can"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":624.69,"endTime":628.08,"body":"impact one person, it's like I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":628.08,"endTime":631.65,"body":"say those things, because there"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":628.08,"endTime":631.65,"body":"might be one person out there"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":631.65,"endTime":635.7,"body":"who needs to hear that. And if I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":631.65,"endTime":635.7,"body":"can get that message to that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":635.7,"endTime":642.12,"body":"person, then that's why I share"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":635.7,"endTime":642.12,"body":"my story. Just last month, I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":642.12,"endTime":645.66,"body":"Facebook, I actually had to go"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":642.12,"endTime":645.66,"body":"to a celebration of life not had"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":645.66,"endTime":649.47,"body":"to, but a young friend of mine"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":645.66,"endTime":649.47,"body":"who didn't win the battle, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":649.47,"endTime":653.28,"body":"know, lost the battle of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":649.47,"endTime":653.28,"body":"addiction at the age of 26 went"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":653.28,"endTime":656.1,"body":"to a celebration of life. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":653.28,"endTime":656.1,"body":"when I came home, somebody had"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":656.1,"endTime":660.06,"body":"posted on Facebook, that it was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":656.1,"endTime":660.06,"body":"National Recovery Month, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":660.06,"endTime":663.39,"body":"know, you know how we everybody"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":660.06,"endTime":663.39,"body":"gets a month now. So apparently,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":663.39,"endTime":666.72,"body":"September is National Recovery"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":663.39,"endTime":666.72,"body":"Month, and somebody had made"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":666.72,"endTime":671.07,"body":"this post and they posted their"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":666.72,"endTime":671.07,"body":"sobriety date and pre made"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":671.49,"endTime":674.25,"body":"message that went with it. So I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":671.49,"endTime":674.25,"body":"was like, You know what, I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":674.25,"endTime":678.9,"body":"doing it, and I put mine up"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":674.25,"endTime":678.9,"body":"there. And I got over 300 likes"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":678.9,"endTime":683.31,"body":"and comments, and just, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":678.9,"endTime":683.31,"body":"everything was positive about"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":683.31,"endTime":687.63,"body":"that. And if you would have told"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":683.31,"endTime":687.63,"body":"me that over five years ago,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":687.72,"endTime":691.74,"body":"that I would have a been able to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":687.72,"endTime":691.74,"body":"share the fact that I was an"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":691.74,"endTime":696.66,"body":"alcoholic. And the fact that I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":691.74,"endTime":696.66,"body":"would be supported by people,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":696.69,"endTime":699.57,"body":"you know, people that I'm close"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":696.69,"endTime":699.57,"body":"with people that I'm not close"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":699.57,"endTime":702.78,"body":"with people who just are like,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":699.57,"endTime":702.78,"body":"Oh, my gosh, thank you. That's,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":702.78,"endTime":706.23,"body":"that's huge. That's huge. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":702.78,"endTime":706.23,"body":"it's just by sharing that, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":706.23,"endTime":709.65,"body":"know, there's no, it's takes"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":706.23,"endTime":709.65,"body":"takes the shame out of it. I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":709.65,"endTime":712.68,"body":"think that's part of it, too, is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":709.65,"endTime":712.68,"body":"a growing up, we're of the same"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":712.68,"endTime":716.1,"body":"generation where it's like, my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":712.68,"endTime":716.1,"body":"family didn't talk about things."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":716.52,"endTime":719.28,"body":"And if something was bothering"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":716.52,"endTime":719.28,"body":"you, or something was wrong, we"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":719.28,"endTime":721.5,"body":"just kept it to ourselves,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":719.28,"endTime":721.5,"body":"because we didn't want the other"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":721.5,"endTime":724.05,"body":"people to hear it know about it,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":721.5,"endTime":724.05,"body":"you know, we had to create that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":724.05,"endTime":727.23,"body":"illusion of the perfect family."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":724.05,"endTime":727.23,"body":"Well, that's where a lot of my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":727.23,"endTime":731.94,"body":"stuff, kind of snowball, then it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":727.23,"endTime":731.94,"body":"grows inside of you. And now I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":731.94,"endTime":734.76,"body":"just I let it all out. If you're"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":731.94,"endTime":734.76,"body":"if you got two years, you're"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":734.76,"endTime":735.81,"body":"gonna hear my story."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":770.73,"endTime":772.62,"body":"But it's good. I"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":770.73,"endTime":772.62,"body":"think it's important for people"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":772.62,"endTime":776.4,"body":"to realize that if they're going"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":772.62,"endTime":776.4,"body":"through something right now,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":776.4,"endTime":779.1899999999999,"body":"whether it is they're in a bad"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":776.4,"endTime":779.1899999999999,"body":"place, and they need to recover"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":779.1899999999999,"endTime":782.88,"body":"from it, or if it's if it's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":779.1899999999999,"endTime":782.88,"body":"relationship based, or if it's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":782.88,"endTime":785.49,"body":"confidence at work, and we"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":782.88,"endTime":785.49,"body":"everybody goes through"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":785.49,"endTime":789.75,"body":"something. I think the more"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":785.49,"endTime":789.75,"body":"people share their stories,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":789.78,"endTime":794.43,"body":"absolutely, the better off we'll"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":789.78,"endTime":794.43,"body":"be as as a human race. And it's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":794.43,"endTime":798.27,"body":"not just our generation, I think"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":794.43,"endTime":798.27,"body":"people today kids today don't"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":798.27,"endTime":802.4399999999999,"body":"want to share they don't want to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":798.27,"endTime":802.4399999999999,"body":"be seen as different or, or"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":802.4399999999999,"endTime":805.9499999999999,"body":"other struggling. But that's not"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":802.4399999999999,"endTime":805.9499999999999,"body":"the case. Right? Everybody's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":805.9499999999999,"endTime":809.43,"body":"going through it right now, you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":805.9499999999999,"endTime":809.43,"body":"talked a little bit about your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":809.43,"endTime":812.4,"body":"journey, what motivates you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":809.43,"endTime":812.4,"body":"right now, like, your biggest"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":812.55,"endTime":816.78,"body":"motivator in life to kind of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":812.55,"endTime":816.78,"body":"keep pushing you forward, to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":816.78,"endTime":820.53,"body":"stay sober, to stay on the path"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":816.78,"endTime":820.53,"body":"to recovery? What is that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":820.74,"endTime":824.0699999999999,"body":"I'm probably"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":820.74,"endTime":824.0699999999999,"body":"the biggest motivation are my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":824.0699999999999,"endTime":829.3199999999999,"body":"two girls, my daughters, like I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":824.0699999999999,"endTime":829.3199999999999,"body":"said, my mother growing up"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":829.3199999999999,"endTime":833.91,"body":"wasn't a very strong person,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":829.3199999999999,"endTime":833.91,"body":"like with self confidence. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":833.91,"endTime":838.8,"body":"so that was my model. And then I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":833.91,"endTime":838.8,"body":"grew up again, not having a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":838.8,"endTime":844.8299999999999,"body":"voice. So my motivation is to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":838.8,"endTime":844.8299999999999,"body":"as strong as I can and to be, be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":844.8299999999999,"endTime":848.9399999999999,"body":"the best model that I can be,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":844.8299999999999,"endTime":848.9399999999999,"body":"again, not perfect, but just the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":848.9399999999999,"endTime":854.25,"body":"best model that I can be, of, of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":848.9399999999999,"endTime":854.25,"body":"truth, living living my truth,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":854.5799999999999,"endTime":859.9499999999999,"body":"and that it's okay. And my mom"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":854.5799999999999,"endTime":859.9499999999999,"body":"passed away in December of last"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":859.9499999999999,"endTime":863.5799999999999,"body":"year, and she her biggest fear"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":859.9499999999999,"endTime":863.5799999999999,"body":"before she passed away, she"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":863.5799999999999,"endTime":867.36,"body":"said, Denise, please. She says,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":863.5799999999999,"endTime":867.36,"body":"promise me that when I die, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":867.36,"endTime":871.11,"body":"won't. You won't be sad and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":867.36,"endTime":871.11,"body":"drink, you know, and I says My"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":871.11,"endTime":874.53,"body":"wife is mom. I said, first of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":871.11,"endTime":874.53,"body":"all, I know as an alcoholic, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":874.53,"endTime":878.01,"body":"can't make promises because I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":874.53,"endTime":878.01,"body":"don't know what tomorrow is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":878.01,"endTime":881.91,"body":"gonna bring. So I won't make"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":878.01,"endTime":881.91,"body":"that promise. I said, I just can"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":881.91,"endTime":885.18,"body":"tell you that, you know, I'll be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":881.91,"endTime":885.18,"body":"strong and I'll stay connected."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":885.48,"endTime":888.93,"body":"And but that's still that's in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":885.48,"endTime":888.93,"body":"the back of my mind, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":888.93,"endTime":892.98,"body":"not wanting still to disappoint"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":888.93,"endTime":892.98,"body":"my mom, you know, but again,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":892.98,"endTime":896.91,"body":"it's probably just, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":892.98,"endTime":896.91,"body":"those two girls knowing what,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":897.39,"endTime":900.5699999999999,"body":"knowing what I had put them"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":897.39,"endTime":900.5699999999999,"body":"through and the chaos that I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":900.5699999999999,"endTime":904.92,"body":"brought into their lives, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":900.5699999999999,"endTime":904.92,"body":"seeing their faces, probably the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":904.92,"endTime":910.74,"body":"hardest thing was them coming to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":904.92,"endTime":910.74,"body":"see me when I was in rehab, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":910.74,"endTime":915.21,"body":"we had a session and then them"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":910.74,"endTime":915.21,"body":"having to leave, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":915.21,"endTime":920.4,"body":"having to see them walk away,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":915.21,"endTime":920.4,"body":"leaving mommy at rehab. That's a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":920.4,"endTime":923.76,"body":"look I never want to see again."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":920.4,"endTime":923.76,"body":"And it was genuine it's I'm not"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":923.76,"endTime":925.65,"body":"saying that they were doing"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":923.76,"endTime":925.65,"body":"anything to make me feel bad."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":925.68,"endTime":929.79,"body":"They they were hurt, they were"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":925.68,"endTime":929.79,"body":"broken. And that was because of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":929.8199999999999,"endTime":935.31,"body":"my doing and so I just I don't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":929.8199999999999,"endTime":935.31,"body":"want to be the source of pain in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":935.31,"endTime":939.18,"body":"my children's lives, I want to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":935.31,"endTime":939.18,"body":"be the source of healing and of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":939.18,"endTime":942.78,"body":"love. And so that's where we"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":939.18,"endTime":942.78,"body":"are, we're stronger than we've"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":942.78,"endTime":946.35,"body":"ever been. We are as you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":942.78,"endTime":946.35,"body":"we have an open, honest"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":946.35,"endTime":949.77,"body":"relationship sometimes, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":946.35,"endTime":949.77,"body":"know, my 21 year old and like,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":949.77,"endTime":954.06,"body":"okay, rein the honesty back a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":949.77,"endTime":954.06,"body":"little bit. Mommy doesn't need"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":954.06,"endTime":957.54,"body":"to know everything, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":954.06,"endTime":957.54,"body":"but I love that, that they could"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":957.54,"endTime":960.96,"body":"come to me and say I have a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":957.54,"endTime":960.96,"body":"problem, you know what I mean?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":960.96,"endTime":964.4399999999999,"body":"And and we can have that open"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":960.96,"endTime":964.4399999999999,"body":"dialogue. I mean, they they are"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":964.4399999999999,"endTime":968.34,"body":"my, you know, my breath and my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":964.4399999999999,"endTime":968.34,"body":"lungs and the, you know, my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":968.34,"endTime":969.42,"body":"heartbeats. So"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":969.93,"endTime":971.85,"body":"have they"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":969.93,"endTime":971.85,"body":"expressed to you at all, what"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":971.85,"endTime":975.72,"body":"their journey has been like for"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":971.85,"endTime":975.72,"body":"you, I mean to you in terms of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":975.99,"endTime":979.17,"body":"where you are now. Tell me a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":975.99,"endTime":979.17,"body":"little bit about the difference"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":979.17,"endTime":983.28,"body":"between like, when they were"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":979.17,"endTime":983.28,"body":"1116 and now 16 and 21."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":983.37,"endTime":986.16,"body":"And, and it's,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":983.37,"endTime":986.16,"body":"it's been a journey for all of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":986.16,"endTime":990.03,"body":"us because again, I was of the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":986.16,"endTime":990.03,"body":"illusion like, Oh, I you know, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":990.03,"endTime":994.47,"body":"did my, I did 35 days between"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":990.03,"endTime":994.47,"body":"detox and rehab, and then came"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":994.47,"endTime":998.31,"body":"home and was like, okay, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":994.47,"endTime":998.31,"body":"know, mommy's fixed. And, and it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":998.31,"endTime":1001.88,"body":"wasn't, wasn't everything wasn't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":998.31,"endTime":1001.88,"body":"fixed. I mean, they were still,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1002.12,"endTime":1006.14,"body":"you know, so it took a few years"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1002.12,"endTime":1006.14,"body":"for us to kind of get into our"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1006.14,"endTime":1011.9,"body":"group. Now, it's like, on"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1006.14,"endTime":1011.9,"body":"holidays, they make me cards."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1012.4399999999999,"endTime":1015.05,"body":"And it sounds something so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1012.4399999999999,"endTime":1015.05,"body":"simple, but the fact that they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1015.05,"endTime":1017.9,"body":"take the time and they write me"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1015.05,"endTime":1017.9,"body":"a message and they'll say,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1017.9,"endTime":1021.74,"body":"You're the strongest person I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1017.9,"endTime":1021.74,"body":"know. And again, it's like, Here"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1021.74,"endTime":1026.45,"body":"I am the broken alcoholic, but"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1021.74,"endTime":1026.45,"body":"they they see that they see that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1026.45,"endTime":1032.27,"body":"strength. And and it means so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1026.45,"endTime":1032.27,"body":"much that simple stuff, like you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1032.27,"endTime":1035.15,"body":"know, I mean, you'll appreciate"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1032.27,"endTime":1035.15,"body":"this but like, when it's their"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1035.15,"endTime":1037.04,"body":"birthdays, I'm like, Where do"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1035.15,"endTime":1037.04,"body":"you want to go for dinner and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1037.04,"endTime":1040.55,"body":"they're like, we want you to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1037.04,"endTime":1040.55,"body":"cook for us. Being able to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1040.55,"endTime":1044.93,"body":"present for my children is the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1040.55,"endTime":1044.93,"body":"best gift that I can I can give"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1044.93,"endTime":1049.7,"body":"them and so you know, and that's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1044.93,"endTime":1049.7,"body":"what I just keeps me strong and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1049.73,"endTime":1052.7,"body":"we've had bumps, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1049.73,"endTime":1052.7,"body":"especially my 21 year old,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1052.7,"endTime":1056.45,"body":"she's, she's had a journey as"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1052.7,"endTime":1056.45,"body":"well, trying to come out of the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1056.45,"endTime":1061.1,"body":"chaos, you know, learning how to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1056.45,"endTime":1061.1,"body":"do come out of that chaos and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1061.1,"endTime":1065.6,"body":"live a quote unquote, normal"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1061.1,"endTime":1065.6,"body":"life, but but she's doing it and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1065.6,"endTime":1069.02,"body":"for her to understand that her"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1065.6,"endTime":1069.02,"body":"path might not be the same path"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1069.02,"endTime":1074.33,"body":"that her friends are on. Again,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1069.02,"endTime":1074.33,"body":"it's okay because it's her path."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1074.42,"endTime":1079.25,"body":"And she's the only one that is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1074.42,"endTime":1079.25,"body":"that is driving that path, she's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1079.25,"endTime":1082.52,"body":"the only one deciding which"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1079.25,"endTime":1082.52,"body":"direction her path is going in."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1083.18,"endTime":1085.1299999999999,"body":"I love that you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1083.18,"endTime":1085.1299999999999,"body":"bring that up because it reminds"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1085.1299999999999,"endTime":1090.26,"body":"me of a quote that says prepare"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1085.1299999999999,"endTime":1090.26,"body":"the child for the path, not the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1090.26,"endTime":1096.02,"body":"path for the child. And we are"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1090.26,"endTime":1096.02,"body":"we're all on different paths we"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1096.05,"endTime":1098.99,"body":"we may be some of us may be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1096.05,"endTime":1098.99,"body":"headed in the same direction."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1101.87,"body":"But the paths that we take to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1101.87,"body":"get there are going to be unique"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1101.87,"endTime":1105.2,"body":"to us based upon our own"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1101.87,"endTime":1105.2,"body":"experiences based upon our life"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1105.2,"endTime":1110.48,"body":"based upon what we've seen and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1105.2,"endTime":1110.48,"body":"done etc. So that's good that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1110.48,"endTime":1113.6299999999999,"body":"you're you've got that mindset"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1110.48,"endTime":1113.6299999999999,"body":"and that girls are taking that"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1113.6299999999999,"endTime":1116.9,"body":"from you. I can only imagine"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1113.6299999999999,"endTime":1116.9,"body":"that they're going to be a lot"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1116.9,"endTime":1121.85,"body":"stronger later in life because"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1116.9,"endTime":1121.85,"body":"of your journey, not in spite of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1121.85,"endTime":1122.06,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1122.36,"endTime":1124.25,"body":"It's funny"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1122.36,"endTime":1124.25,"body":"that you say that because I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1124.25,"endTime":1127.16,"body":"always that's exactly what I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1124.25,"endTime":1127.16,"body":"always tell them I said you're"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1127.16,"endTime":1132.5,"body":"going to do this in spite of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1127.16,"endTime":1132.5,"body":"your past or in spite of what we"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1132.5,"endTime":1136.46,"body":"may have gone through as a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1132.5,"endTime":1136.46,"body":"family so those in spite of is a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1136.46,"endTime":1137.72,"body":"phrase we're always saying"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1138.1399999999999,"endTime":1140.6299999999999,"body":"where do you drop"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1138.1399999999999,"endTime":1140.6299999999999,"body":"positivity from now?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1141.02,"endTime":1146.6299999999999,"body":"I guess I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1141.02,"endTime":1146.6299999999999,"body":"definitely my my support in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1146.6299999999999,"endTime":1151.58,"body":"recovery. I have a sponsor, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1146.6299999999999,"endTime":1151.58,"body":"have a home group. So it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1151.58,"endTime":1155.69,"body":"definitely that community of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1151.58,"endTime":1155.69,"body":"support. We say that when you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1155.69,"endTime":1159.77,"body":"when you go into a room, it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1155.69,"endTime":1159.77,"body":"you look around and you say I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1159.77,"endTime":1165.77,"body":"want what what they have because"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1159.77,"endTime":1165.77,"body":"you see you see the the sobriety"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1165.77,"endTime":1171.02,"body":"and you see what life can be."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1165.77,"endTime":1171.02,"body":"And so you know again, it's like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1171.2,"endTime":1175.61,"body":"I know what my life can be now"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1171.2,"endTime":1175.61,"body":"My life is becoming that you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1175.61,"endTime":1180.05,"body":"know each day I try to just be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1175.61,"endTime":1180.05,"body":"grateful for what I have and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1180.05,"endTime":1185.33,"body":"it's definitely taken a turn"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1180.05,"endTime":1185.33,"body":"where it's like less is more and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1185.78,"endTime":1189.74,"body":"just like I look forward to now"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1185.78,"endTime":1189.74,"body":"I have five more years in the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1189.74,"endTime":1193.76,"body":"county for teaching and it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1189.74,"endTime":1193.76,"body":"like I just want to enjoy my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1193.76,"endTime":1199.67,"body":"time I don't want to work until"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1193.76,"endTime":1199.67,"body":"I'm 65 you know I want to enjoy"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1199.7,"endTime":1203.78,"body":"my time it doesn't mean I need a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1199.7,"endTime":1203.78,"body":"large house It just means I need"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1203.81,"endTime":1207.86,"body":"I need a house you know I need a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1203.81,"endTime":1207.86,"body":"home for my loved ones to come"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1207.86,"endTime":1212.75,"body":"to and for us to just enjoy our"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1207.86,"endTime":1212.75,"body":"time. And so I it's kind of just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1212.75,"endTime":1217.79,"body":"like want to be positive because"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1212.75,"endTime":1217.79,"body":"and let me tell you this, this"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1217.79,"endTime":1221.72,"body":"is not the way I am each and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1217.79,"endTime":1221.72,"body":"every day. I mean I've got my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1221.72,"endTime":1226.85,"body":"you know it ebbs and weights for"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1221.72,"endTime":1226.85,"body":"sure. But you just learn how to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1226.8799999999999,"endTime":1230.84,"body":"put that positivity first. If"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1226.8799999999999,"endTime":1230.84,"body":"you look around my house I have"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1230.99,"endTime":1233.84,"body":"I have signs everywhere. Like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1230.99,"endTime":1233.84,"body":"you See I wear them you know?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1234.86,"endTime":1238.82,"body":"Yeah, you know and and i think"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1234.86,"endTime":1238.82,"body":"back to Saturday Night Live Do"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1238.82,"endTime":1242.51,"body":"you remember Stuart Smalley even"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1238.82,"endTime":1242.51,"body":"look in the mirror and say, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1242.51,"endTime":1246.1399999999999,"body":"know, I'm smart, gosh, darn it,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1242.51,"endTime":1246.1399999999999,"body":"people like me. And I used to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1246.1399999999999,"endTime":1251.9,"body":"think, who can do that? That is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1246.1399999999999,"endTime":1251.9,"body":"so cheesy and hokey. But now I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1251.9,"endTime":1255.26,"body":"have signs everywhere, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1251.9,"endTime":1255.26,"body":"in my bathroom, you're"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1255.26,"endTime":1258.8,"body":"beautiful, you know, like, let"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1255.26,"endTime":1258.8,"body":"go, like God's up there. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1258.8,"endTime":1262.76,"body":"it's just, I just kind of take"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1258.8,"endTime":1262.76,"body":"it in, because life is better"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1262.76,"endTime":1266.21,"body":"when you're positive to look at"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1262.76,"endTime":1266.21,"body":"the good pieces, you know, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1266.21,"endTime":1269.24,"body":"there are there's going to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1266.21,"endTime":1269.24,"body":"crap, life's not always better"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1269.24,"endTime":1272.51,"body":"roses. But if you can focus on"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1269.24,"endTime":1272.51,"body":"the good stuff that's gonna keep"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1272.51,"endTime":1272.96,"body":"you going."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1272.99,"endTime":1276.56,"body":"No, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1272.99,"endTime":1276.56,"body":"And I think in talking to other"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1276.56,"endTime":1281.81,"body":"people on the show, happiness or"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1276.56,"endTime":1281.81,"body":"positivity is a mindset. Some"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1281.81,"endTime":1286.94,"body":"people are more inclined to be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1281.81,"endTime":1286.94,"body":"that way. But when you look at"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1289.91,"body":"kind of the research on positive"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1289.91,"body":"psychology, and being a positive"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1289.91,"endTime":1294.8899999999999,"body":"person, your circumstances"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1289.91,"endTime":1294.8899999999999,"body":"actually don't make up a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1294.95,"endTime":1300.62,"body":"that pie, right? The piece of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1294.95,"endTime":1300.62,"body":"the pie. It is your DNA, like"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1300.62,"endTime":1305.3,"body":"what's built into you as part of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1300.62,"endTime":1305.3,"body":"it. But it's also what you do on"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1305.3,"endTime":1308.72,"body":"a daily basis to overcome"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1305.3,"endTime":1308.72,"body":"that's, that's the biggest"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1309.11,"endTime":1313.31,"body":"contributor to a positive"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1309.11,"endTime":1313.31,"body":"mindset. So I love that you've"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1313.31,"endTime":1317.0,"body":"kind of had this journey and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1313.31,"endTime":1317.0,"body":"you're on that path there. But"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1317.12,"endTime":1320.72,"body":"now you're also helping people"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1317.12,"endTime":1320.72,"body":"as well. To have a positive"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1320.72,"endTime":1324.92,"body":"mindset about something totally"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1320.72,"endTime":1324.92,"body":"different than recovery. Right?"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1325.25,"endTime":1327.68,"body":"Tell me about what you tell the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1325.25,"endTime":1327.68,"body":"audience what you're up to now?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1327.8899999999999,"endTime":1331.49,"body":"Well, it it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1327.8899999999999,"endTime":1331.49,"body":"is, it's kind of it is different"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1331.49,"endTime":1334.7,"body":"than recovery, but it is very"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1331.49,"endTime":1334.7,"body":"similar in the kind of the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1334.7,"endTime":1339.92,"body":"methodology of it. I have had a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1334.7,"endTime":1339.92,"body":"very poor relationship with food"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1339.95,"endTime":1344.18,"body":"all my life. Food was always a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1339.95,"endTime":1344.18,"body":"source of comfort for me, it was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1344.18,"endTime":1348.3799999999999,"body":"always my my go to you know, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1344.18,"endTime":1348.3799999999999,"body":"being Italian, you know, I said,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1348.3799999999999,"endTime":1351.92,"body":"we, we grieve with food, we"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1348.3799999999999,"endTime":1351.92,"body":"celebrate with food foods, like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1351.92,"endTime":1355.82,"body":"a religion, if you're Italian."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1351.92,"endTime":1355.82,"body":"It's like, you know, Sunday"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1355.82,"endTime":1358.7,"body":"dinners was like a holiday it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1355.82,"endTime":1358.7,"body":"was you know, you ate as much"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1358.7,"endTime":1361.97,"body":"food on Sunday than you did at"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1358.7,"endTime":1361.97,"body":"Thanksgiving, even to the point"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1361.97,"endTime":1365.21,"body":"where 10 years ago, I had"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1361.97,"endTime":1365.21,"body":"gastric bypass surgery because I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1365.21,"endTime":1369.41,"body":"was up to over close to 300"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1365.21,"endTime":1369.41,"body":"pounds, I was I think 286 was my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1369.41,"endTime":1374.54,"body":"highest. So I just never learned"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1369.41,"endTime":1374.54,"body":"how to properly eat, I live to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1374.54,"endTime":1378.8,"body":"eat, I didn't eat to live. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1374.54,"endTime":1378.8,"body":"so almost two years ago, it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1378.8,"endTime":1383.33,"body":"would be two years in November,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1378.8,"endTime":1383.33,"body":"I was at school and faculty"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1383.33,"endTime":1386.6299999999999,"body":"rooms are always filled with"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1383.33,"endTime":1386.6299999999999,"body":"treats and from the PTA, and I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1386.6299999999999,"endTime":1389.33,"body":"was walking out with a rice"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1386.6299999999999,"endTime":1389.33,"body":"krispie treat in my hand. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1389.33,"endTime":1392.51,"body":"there was this couple who I had"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1389.33,"endTime":1392.51,"body":"been watching on Facebook, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1392.51,"endTime":1394.91,"body":"know how you stalk people, when"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1392.51,"endTime":1394.91,"body":"you see them, you know, and they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1394.91,"endTime":1397.67,"body":"were they were in this health"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1394.91,"endTime":1397.67,"body":"journey, you know, and I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1397.67,"endTime":1400.43,"body":"watching them, like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1397.67,"endTime":1400.43,"body":"eating my chips, like, Oh, that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1400.43,"endTime":1404.09,"body":"looks good. And they were in the"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1400.43,"endTime":1404.09,"body":"hallway, and I hit the rice"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1404.09,"endTime":1406.91,"body":"krispie treat behind my hand and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1404.09,"endTime":1406.91,"body":"they were like, hey, and I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1406.91,"endTime":1410.87,"body":"like, Hi, you know, and they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1406.91,"endTime":1410.87,"body":"were like, Oh, you know, we they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1410.87,"endTime":1413.0,"body":"could tell that I was stalking"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1410.87,"endTime":1413.0,"body":"them. Because you could see when"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1413.0,"endTime":1417.65,"body":"you like, you know, people keep"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1413.0,"endTime":1417.65,"body":"track of that stuff. So they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1417.65,"endTime":1420.68,"body":"called me that night and shared"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1417.65,"endTime":1420.68,"body":"with me the program that they"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1420.68,"endTime":1423.8899999999999,"body":"were following the optive via"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1420.68,"endTime":1423.8899999999999,"body":"program and I was like, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1423.8899999999999,"endTime":1427.16,"body":"know, here we go another program"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1423.8899999999999,"endTime":1427.16,"body":"like and and literally Jason"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1427.16,"endTime":1431.09,"body":"like I've done it all you name a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1427.16,"endTime":1431.09,"body":"program, I've done it. So I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1431.09,"endTime":1435.74,"body":"like, well might as well let's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1431.09,"endTime":1435.74,"body":"try another program. And and it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1435.74,"endTime":1438.3799999999999,"body":"was great. It was like I was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1435.74,"endTime":1438.3799999999999,"body":"very successful my first month"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1438.3799999999999,"endTime":1441.29,"body":"and then Josh, my coach turns to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1438.3799999999999,"endTime":1441.29,"body":"me and he goes, how about"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1441.29,"endTime":1443.66,"body":"coaching? And I was like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1441.29,"endTime":1443.66,"body":"coaching? Like who am I that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1443.66,"endTime":1446.9,"body":"coach? Like, Have you not heard"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1443.66,"endTime":1446.9,"body":"my story like I have, I don't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1446.9,"endTime":1449.57,"body":"deal well with food like for,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1446.9,"endTime":1449.57,"body":"you know, 45 years, he's like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1449.57,"endTime":1452.27,"body":"you would be a great coach,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1449.57,"endTime":1452.27,"body":"because people want to see your"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1452.27,"endTime":1454.91,"body":"real person going through this"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1452.27,"endTime":1454.91,"body":"journey. Plus, it'll keep you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1454.91,"endTime":1458.51,"body":"accountable. So it's like, Well,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1454.91,"endTime":1458.51,"body":"okay, and I didn't tell my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1458.51,"endTime":1461.06,"body":"husband because I didn't want to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1458.51,"endTime":1461.06,"body":"hear Oh, you're trying something"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1461.06,"endTime":1464.75,"body":"else, you know, that stinking"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1461.06,"endTime":1464.75,"body":"thinking in my head. So I signed"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1464.75,"endTime":1468.77,"body":"up. And sure enough, just again,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1464.75,"endTime":1468.77,"body":"by sharing my story and putting"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1468.77,"endTime":1471.41,"body":"it out there it was people would"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1468.77,"endTime":1471.41,"body":"be like, what are you doing, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1471.41,"endTime":1475.25,"body":"I share the program with them?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1471.41,"endTime":1475.25,"body":"Well, then it became this new"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1475.25,"endTime":1479.24,"body":"thing for me, like I was getting"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1475.25,"endTime":1479.24,"body":"this joy of helping people on"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1479.24,"endTime":1482.78,"body":"their health journey. And it was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1479.24,"endTime":1482.78,"body":"a joy because of the pandemic"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1482.81,"endTime":1486.92,"body":"were teaching. I wasn't getting"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1482.81,"endTime":1486.92,"body":"that joy in teaching because it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1486.92,"endTime":1491.3,"body":"was so stressful. And it was"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1486.92,"endTime":1491.3,"body":"like Wow, it started to feel"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1491.3,"endTime":1495.71,"body":"that again of being able to, to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1491.3,"endTime":1495.71,"body":"help people and you know, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1495.71,"endTime":1498.74,"body":"and it's an amazing program"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1495.71,"endTime":1498.74,"body":"because we don't, it's not a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1498.74,"endTime":1503.3,"body":"diet. It's a health and wellness"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1498.74,"endTime":1503.3,"body":"program. And it really taught me"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1503.3,"endTime":1508.25,"body":"for the first time how to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1503.3,"endTime":1508.25,"body":"really, you know, fuel my body"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1508.34,"endTime":1512.09,"body":"and what my body needs and how"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1508.34,"endTime":1512.09,"body":"to eat properly and hydrate."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1512.51,"endTime":1517.25,"body":"And, and I said it's like I've"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1512.51,"endTime":1517.25,"body":"lost 45 pounds in four months,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1517.25,"endTime":1521.09,"body":"but I've maintained it now for"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1517.25,"endTime":1521.09,"body":"almost two years, which to me is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1521.09,"endTime":1524.84,"body":"more telling than the actual"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1521.09,"endTime":1524.84,"body":"weight loss. So again, by"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1524.84,"endTime":1528.98,"body":"coaching, it keeps me"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1524.84,"endTime":1528.98,"body":"accountable. And again, you have"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1528.98,"endTime":1532.22,"body":"a coach so it's kind of like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1528.98,"endTime":1532.22,"body":"having a sponsor. You know"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1532.52,"endTime":1536.54,"body":"You're in a we have a big book,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1532.52,"endTime":1536.54,"body":"which is like our Bible of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1536.54,"endTime":1540.59,"body":"recovery in optive via we have a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1536.54,"endTime":1540.59,"body":"life book. And again, it's a lot"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1540.59,"endTime":1544.97,"body":"of self reflection. And you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1540.59,"endTime":1544.97,"body":"know, Why, what's our Why? Why"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1544.97,"endTime":1549.1399999999999,"body":"are we on this journey? So it is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1544.97,"endTime":1549.1399999999999,"body":"kind of like parallel. It's It"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1549.1399999999999,"endTime":1552.65,"body":"was kind of interesting. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1549.1399999999999,"endTime":1552.65,"body":"maybe that's why I took to it."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1552.65,"endTime":1556.07,"body":"So, you know, it's like, it just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1552.65,"endTime":1556.07,"body":"felt like the island of misfits,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1556.07,"endTime":1558.65,"body":"you know, like I felt at home in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1556.07,"endTime":1558.65,"body":"it. It was like, Yes, this is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1558.65,"endTime":1560.03,"body":"my, these are my people."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1561.74,"endTime":1565.22,"body":"So they're just"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1561.74,"endTime":1565.22,"body":"people, not misfits. We're all"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1565.22,"endTime":1565.94,"body":"just pure"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1566.33,"endTime":1569.66,"body":"misfits. Now,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1566.33,"endTime":1569.66,"body":"that's the theme. Yes."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1569.9,"endTime":1572.48,"body":"And so but you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1569.9,"endTime":1572.48,"body":"found your group to be connected"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1572.48,"endTime":1577.04,"body":"to which is a big part of kind"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1572.48,"endTime":1577.04,"body":"of turning that corner to with"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1577.04,"endTime":1579.35,"body":"mindset and positivity. Like"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1577.04,"endTime":1579.35,"body":"when you find your people, you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1579.35,"endTime":1584.3,"body":"You definitely feel like okay,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1579.35,"endTime":1584.3,"body":"like I can, I can be myself I"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1584.3,"endTime":1587.6299999999999,"body":"can share my story, and kind of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1584.3,"endTime":1587.6299999999999,"body":"move forward with my life."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1587.93,"endTime":1592.22,"body":"Right? Oh, that's great. So you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1587.93,"endTime":1592.22,"body":"mentioned a minute ago, your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1592.25,"endTime":1594.5,"body":"knowing your why, what is your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1592.25,"endTime":1594.5,"body":"why,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1594.77,"endTime":1596.75,"body":"for what part of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1594.77,"endTime":1596.75,"body":"life Jason's."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1598.04,"endTime":1603.05,"body":"So I'm always"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1598.04,"endTime":1603.05,"body":"focused on forward facing. So"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1603.05,"endTime":1604.67,"body":"what is your why right now?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1604.97,"endTime":1608.33,"body":"Wow. My"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1604.97,"endTime":1608.33,"body":"husband and I just celebrated"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1608.33,"endTime":1611.75,"body":"our one year wedding anniversary"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1608.33,"endTime":1611.75,"body":"been together nine years though,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1612.08,"endTime":1615.8,"body":"he now knows a sober Denise"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1612.08,"endTime":1615.8,"body":"longer than he knows a drunk"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1615.8,"endTime":1619.37,"body":"Denise, which was, which was a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1615.8,"endTime":1619.37,"body":"pretty big event in our house."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1619.67,"endTime":1622.46,"body":"So we kind of you know, we've,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1619.67,"endTime":1622.46,"body":"we've come into this thing late"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1622.46,"endTime":1627.35,"body":"in life, me and him. And again,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1622.46,"endTime":1627.35,"body":"it goes back to I want to enjoy"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1627.41,"endTime":1630.95,"body":"my family, you know, that's my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1627.41,"endTime":1630.95,"body":"why I want to be the best"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1630.95,"endTime":1636.83,"body":"version of myself. You know, so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1630.95,"endTime":1636.83,"body":"I can live as long as possible"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1637.01,"endTime":1641.03,"body":"in it have the best quality of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1637.01,"endTime":1641.03,"body":"life, you know, my, my mom's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1641.03,"endTime":1646.16,"body":"quality of life towards the end"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1641.03,"endTime":1646.16,"body":"was not good. And so I don't"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1646.16,"endTime":1650.06,"body":"want the rest of my family to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1646.16,"endTime":1650.06,"body":"see that struggle in me, I want"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1650.06,"endTime":1654.44,"body":"to be as present. And, and, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1650.06,"endTime":1654.44,"body":"I have a little grandbaby now"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1654.44,"endTime":1658.79,"body":"who's just one, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1654.44,"endTime":1658.79,"body":"know. And she's so squishy. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1658.79,"endTime":1665.9,"body":"so. So again, it's just wanting"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1658.79,"endTime":1665.9,"body":"to enjoy my time and be happy,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1665.93,"endTime":1670.49,"body":"you know, and not have to worry"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1665.93,"endTime":1670.49,"body":"and stress about things that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1670.55,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"that just takes up time. Time"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1670.55,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"away from the important things"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1674.24,"endTime":1677.6299999999999,"body":"and the important things, you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1674.24,"endTime":1677.6299999999999,"body":"know, all have names, gab,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1677.6299999999999,"endTime":1680.45,"body":"Kylie, Michael, Nellie, those"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1677.6299999999999,"endTime":1680.45,"body":"are the important things."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1680.54,"endTime":1683.84,"body":"I love it. If you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1680.54,"endTime":1683.84,"body":"could look at your entire life,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1684.23,"endTime":1688.46,"body":"what would you do differently?"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1684.23,"endTime":1688.46,"body":"If you knew nobody would judge"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1688.46,"endTime":1690.17,"body":"you? Hmm."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1690.68,"endTime":1694.49,"body":"Probably speak"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1690.68,"endTime":1694.49,"body":"up for myself, you know, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1694.49,"endTime":1700.94,"body":"from an from an earlier stage,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1694.49,"endTime":1700.94,"body":"and and just be confident in who"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1700.94,"endTime":1705.77,"body":"I am. And what I had to say."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1700.94,"endTime":1705.77,"body":"Because that's probably the crux"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1705.77,"endTime":1710.3899999999999,"body":"of everything is that I live"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1705.77,"endTime":1710.3899999999999,"body":"such a fear based life, afraid"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1710.42,"endTime":1714.62,"body":"of what might happen or afraid"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1710.42,"endTime":1714.62,"body":"of what somebody might say. So"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1714.62,"endTime":1717.74,"body":"yeah, just to be able just to"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1714.62,"endTime":1717.74,"body":"speak, and that sounds so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1717.74,"endTime":1721.25,"body":"simple, but yeah, just it's not"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1717.74,"endTime":1721.25,"body":"like one event, it's just to be"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1721.25,"endTime":1726.29,"body":"able to speak up and to voice my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1721.25,"endTime":1726.29,"body":"own opinions, and my own wants"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1726.83,"endTime":1729.47,"body":"to say, this is what I want, and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1726.83,"endTime":1729.47,"body":"be okay with that,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1729.74,"endTime":1732.86,"body":"what I want, and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1729.74,"endTime":1732.86,"body":"be okay with that. That's like a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1732.86,"endTime":1737.75,"body":"super, super point. I love that."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1732.86,"endTime":1737.75,"body":"What I want and to actually"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1737.75,"endTime":1741.05,"body":"voice what you want, because"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1737.75,"endTime":1741.05,"body":"there's so many people who don't"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1741.05,"endTime":1744.5,"body":"take the time serving the needs"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1741.05,"endTime":1744.5,"body":"of others, where they're not"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1744.5,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"really taking the time to serve"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1744.5,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"their own needs. And that's a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1752.57,"body":"big part of my message for folks"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1752.57,"body":"to is like, you have to take"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1752.57,"endTime":1757.73,"body":"care of yourself, take care of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1752.57,"endTime":1757.73,"body":"yourself, and you use all of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1757.73,"endTime":1760.79,"body":"your energy to take care of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1757.73,"endTime":1760.79,"body":"others, your cup is empty and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1760.79,"endTime":1765.05,"body":"when our cup is empty, we're not"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1760.79,"endTime":1765.05,"body":"good. Now we're kind of at our,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1765.11,"endTime":1766.76,"body":"our worst when our cup is empty."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1767.48,"endTime":1770.3,"body":"And it's hard."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1767.48,"endTime":1770.3,"body":"Like I said, it doesn't, it"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1770.3,"endTime":1775.34,"body":"doesn't happen all the time."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1770.3,"endTime":1775.34,"body":"100% but you know, you just have"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1775.34,"endTime":1779.09,"body":"to keep yourself in check and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1775.34,"endTime":1779.09,"body":"know that it's it's, it's okay."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1779.78,"endTime":1782.06,"body":"I mean, there"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1779.78,"endTime":1782.06,"body":"everybody has those days, right?"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1782.09,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"Absolutely. I wish I wish show"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1782.09,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"on positivity. But there's some"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1788.51,"body":"days I'm just sitting in the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1788.51,"body":"chair, you know, basically"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1788.51,"endTime":1790.97,"body":"looking at my life and you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1788.51,"endTime":1790.97,"body":"whatever has happened, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1790.97,"endTime":1794.42,"body":"like, just stuck on that. And I"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1790.97,"endTime":1794.42,"body":"and it takes me a minute to kind"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1794.42,"endTime":1797.3899999999999,"body":"of get myself together to say,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1794.42,"endTime":1797.3899999999999,"body":"you doing right? You have a"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1797.3899999999999,"endTime":1800.99,"body":"great life. Yeah. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1797.3899999999999,"endTime":1800.99,"body":"didn't work out well. Big deal."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1800.99,"endTime":1803.66,"body":"Go out and make why work better"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1800.99,"endTime":1803.66,"body":"tomorrow?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1803.93,"endTime":1806.57,"body":"Yeah, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1803.93,"endTime":1806.57,"body":"it's that stinking thinking"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1806.57,"endTime":1808.97,"body":"that's what we call it. You"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1806.57,"endTime":1808.97,"body":"know, it's just to get out of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1808.97,"endTime":1812.75,"body":"that stinking thinking. And it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1808.97,"endTime":1812.75,"body":"funny too, because I'll say that"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1812.75,"endTime":1816.65,"body":"to my my 16 year old who you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1812.75,"endTime":1816.65,"body":"know, again, as a 16 year old,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1816.65,"endTime":1820.49,"body":"they thinks the entire world is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1816.65,"endTime":1820.49,"body":"looking at them. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1820.49,"endTime":1823.82,"body":"and I'm like, do you understand"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1820.49,"endTime":1823.82,"body":"I said that's your own. you're"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1823.82,"endTime":1827.24,"body":"projecting that on yourself. I"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1823.82,"endTime":1827.24,"body":"said, People don't know what"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1827.24,"endTime":1831.77,"body":"shorts you're wearing. Or if you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1827.24,"endTime":1831.77,"body":"wore them last Tuesday. I said"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1831.77,"endTime":1834.56,"body":"who can As I said, you're a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1831.77,"endTime":1834.56,"body":"little, you know, and I say"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1834.56,"endTime":1837.5,"body":"it's, it's a little pompous of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1834.56,"endTime":1837.5,"body":"you to think that everybody is,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1837.5,"endTime":1841.1299999999999,"body":"you know, all eyes gazed upon"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1837.5,"endTime":1841.1299999999999,"body":"you. I said, I said, you just"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1841.1299999999999,"endTime":1844.76,"body":"got to get out of that. And so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1841.1299999999999,"endTime":1844.76,"body":"it's hard. It's hard."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1845.0,"endTime":1847.79,"body":"It is so hard,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1845.0,"endTime":1847.79,"body":"because people do think they're"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1847.85,"endTime":1851.48,"body":"all eyes and attention or focus"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1847.85,"endTime":1851.48,"body":"on them, right? This group is"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1851.48,"endTime":1854.6299999999999,"body":"everybody's attention is focused"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1851.48,"endTime":1854.6299999999999,"body":"on itself. Absolutely. All we"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1854.6299999999999,"endTime":1859.1,"body":"focus on is worrying about what"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1854.6299999999999,"endTime":1859.1,"body":"other people are thinking. And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1859.1,"endTime":1863.09,"body":"it's a scam that it takes us,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1859.1,"endTime":1863.09,"body":"you know, 4045 50 years to get"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1863.09,"endTime":1865.7,"body":"to a point where we're like,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1863.09,"endTime":1865.7,"body":"that doesn't matter anymore."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.73,"endTime":1867.56,"body":"Isn't it true? Yes, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.73,"endTime":1867.56,"body":"know."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1867.74,"endTime":1870.47,"body":"I know. You want"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1867.74,"endTime":1870.47,"body":"to be able to teach the kids now"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1870.47,"endTime":1874.61,"body":"to say like, let it go. Like be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1870.47,"endTime":1874.61,"body":"you be who you want to be? And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1874.61,"endTime":1880.43,"body":"yeah, that's right. That brings"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1874.61,"endTime":1880.43,"body":"it all right, back. You, you you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1880.52,"endTime":1887.42,"body":"Who needs a weekend ready to"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1880.52,"endTime":1887.42,"body":"wrap up? I love this question."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1887.6,"endTime":1890.81,"body":"Fill in the blank for me. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1887.6,"endTime":1890.81,"body":"happiness is a"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1891.23,"endTime":1893.6299999999999,"body":"I was gonna go"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1891.23,"endTime":1893.6299999999999,"body":"with like a warm cup of coffee"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1893.6299999999999,"endTime":1898.16,"body":"or the beach but but it's like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1893.6299999999999,"endTime":1898.16,"body":"it's like it's it's a state of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1898.16,"endTime":1902.78,"body":"mind. I mean, if your mind is in"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1898.16,"endTime":1902.78,"body":"a good place, you'll be happy."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1902.81,"endTime":1906.35,"body":"And so it's it's getting out of"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1902.81,"endTime":1906.35,"body":"that just happiness is a state"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1906.35,"endTime":1910.76,"body":"of sounds kind of hokey, though,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1906.35,"endTime":1910.76,"body":"doesn't it? I think I want to go"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1910.76,"endTime":1912.74,"body":"with the warm cup of coffee on"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1910.76,"endTime":1912.74,"body":"the beach."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1915.05,"endTime":1917.69,"body":"That's fine, too."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1915.05,"endTime":1917.69,"body":"A warm cup of coffee on the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1917.69,"endTime":1922.73,"body":"beach is good. Yeah, the Jersey"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1917.69,"endTime":1922.73,"body":"Shore like in September. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1922.73,"endTime":1925.82,"body":"right. Right. When it's like"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1922.73,"endTime":1925.82,"body":"maybe a little chilly and you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1925.82,"endTime":1927.98,"body":"got the cup of coffee and you're"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1925.82,"endTime":1927.98,"body":"catching the sunrise?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1928.04,"endTime":1929.99,"body":"Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1928.04,"endTime":1929.99,"body":"just kind of it's it's like"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1929.99,"endTime":1934.31,"body":"happiness. It's, it's it's so"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1929.99,"endTime":1934.31,"body":"subjective. You know, but it is"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1934.31,"endTime":1938.42,"body":"it's like it's it's what it's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1934.31,"endTime":1938.42,"body":"what's in here, your heart. You"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1938.42,"endTime":1941.78,"body":"know what I mean? And, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1942.95,"endTime":1945.59,"body":"a warm cup of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1942.95,"endTime":1945.59,"body":"coffee on the Jersey Shore. But"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1945.59,"endTime":1948.08,"body":"see now I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1945.59,"endTime":1948.08,"body":"already Jason warrior, like,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1948.08,"endTime":1950.66,"body":"Okay, well, I'm doing my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1948.08,"endTime":1950.66,"body":"stinking thinking I'm a warm cup"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1950.66,"endTime":1953.33,"body":"of coffee. Like, is in coffee"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1950.66,"endTime":1953.33,"body":"already bored? Like, why do you"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1953.33,"endTime":1955.6399999999999,"body":"have to, you know, like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1953.33,"endTime":1955.6399999999999,"body":"doing exactly what I"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1957.41,"endTime":1958.85,"body":"was thinking,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1957.41,"endTime":1958.85,"body":"thinking, you know, an iced"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1958.85,"endTime":1961.34,"body":"latte could be really good in"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1958.85,"endTime":1961.34,"body":"the summertime. So you're okay"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1961.34,"endTime":1968.15,"body":"with that? It's good. It works."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1961.34,"endTime":1968.15,"body":"Okay. I'm doing me, my friend,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1968.15,"endTime":1970.8799999999999,"body":"if people wanted to connect with"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1968.15,"endTime":1970.8799999999999,"body":"you to learn more about your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1970.8799999999999,"endTime":1974.03,"body":"story and what you're up to? And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1970.8799999999999,"endTime":1974.03,"body":"how can they find you? Where can"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":1974.03,"endTime":1975.11,"body":"they find you online?"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1975.35,"endTime":1980.0,"body":"I am on"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1975.35,"endTime":1980.0,"body":"Facebook, Denise Gillespie. And"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1980.0,"endTime":1984.05,"body":"I'm also on Instagram, although"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1980.0,"endTime":1984.05,"body":"I have to say I'm not a very"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1984.05,"endTime":1988.8799999999999,"body":"instagramming person. Like I'm"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1984.05,"endTime":1988.8799999999999,"body":"on it to look at other people."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1988.91,"endTime":1991.76,"body":"Like I literally think I've done"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1988.91,"endTime":1991.76,"body":"like two posts and my daughter,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1991.76,"endTime":1995.69,"body":"like made me do both of them. So"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1991.76,"endTime":1995.69,"body":"Facebook is probably the best"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1995.69,"endTime":1999.77,"body":"way. Yeah, if anybody's"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1995.69,"endTime":1999.77,"body":"interested in in optive via and"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1999.77,"endTime":2003.8799999999999,"body":"learning about that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":1999.77,"endTime":2003.8799999999999,"body":"Denise Gillespie on on Facebook,"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2003.8799999999999,"endTime":2006.76,"body":"and I could talk about your"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2003.8799999999999,"endTime":2006.76,"body":"health journey and see if"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2006.76,"endTime":2009.1,"body":"there's any way I could help."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2006.76,"endTime":2009.1,"body":"That would be wonderful."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2009.1299999999999,"endTime":2011.3799999999999,"body":"That would be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2009.1299999999999,"endTime":2011.3799999999999,"body":"awesome. I appreciate that. And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2011.3799999999999,"endTime":2014.17,"body":"it just popped into my head. You"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2011.3799999999999,"endTime":2014.17,"body":"said instagramming. And I"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2014.17,"endTime":2021.34,"body":"thought guy that'd be a great"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2014.17,"endTime":2021.34,"body":"handle for a grandmother. All"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2021.34,"endTime":2028.54,"body":"day. I know like if I try. Well,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2021.34,"endTime":2028.54,"body":"my friend, I'll tell you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2028.54,"endTime":2032.3799999999999,"body":"something, mom, and a big guy"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2028.54,"endTime":2032.3799999999999,"body":"would be super proud of you. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2032.41,"endTime":2036.67,"body":"thank you, really. So I'm so"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2032.41,"endTime":2036.67,"body":"glad to have reconnected with"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2036.67,"endTime":2040.18,"body":"you and have absolutely learned"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2036.67,"endTime":2040.18,"body":"together. It was wonderful."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2040.72,"endTime":2044.08,"body":"Pleasure. My pleasure. I know my"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2040.72,"endTime":2044.08,"body":"listeners would take a lot away"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2044.08,"endTime":2046.51,"body":"from this episode. So thank you"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2044.08,"endTime":2046.51,"body":"for being here today."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2047.11,"endTime":2048.88,"body":"Thank you very much for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2047.11,"endTime":2048.88,"body":"having me."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2052.39,"endTime":2054.31,"body":"Here are the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2052.39,"endTime":2054.31,"body":"three things I learned from my"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2054.31,"endTime":2058.06,"body":"conversation with Denise today."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2054.31,"endTime":2058.06,"body":"One, we are all on our own"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2058.06,"endTime":2061.84,"body":"journeys toward recovery and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2058.06,"endTime":2061.84,"body":"improvement, too. It is"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2061.84,"endTime":2066.9100000000003,"body":"important to be who we are and"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2061.84,"endTime":2066.9100000000003,"body":"to own it. And three, do not"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2066.9100000000003,"endTime":2070.12,"body":"forget to check in on your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2066.9100000000003,"endTime":2070.12,"body":"friends and family. You never"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2070.12,"endTime":2073.6,"body":"know the struggles they may be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2070.12,"endTime":2073.6,"body":"facing. If you liked today's"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2073.6,"endTime":2076.69,"body":"episode, please give us a five"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2073.6,"endTime":2076.69,"body":"star rating wherever you listen."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2076.87,"endTime":2079.96,"body":"And please share this episode as"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2076.87,"endTime":2079.96,"body":"word of mouth is the way this"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2079.96,"endTime":2083.74,"body":"shows message grows. And"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2079.96,"endTime":2083.74,"body":"finally, as I close every show,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2083.8,"endTime":2086.98,"body":"thank you for being here today,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2083.8,"endTime":2086.98,"body":"my friends, your gift of time"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2086.98,"endTime":2090.85,"body":"listening to this show means the"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2086.98,"endTime":2090.85,"body":"world to me. And as always be"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2090.85,"endTime":2095.14,"body":"well be happy be you. And until"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2090.85,"endTime":2095.14,"body":"the next time maybe your quest"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2095.14,"endTime":2097.66,"body":"for positivity begin today."},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2101.02,"endTime":2104.74,"body":"I grew up"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2101.02,"endTime":2104.74,"body":"again, not having a voice. So my"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2104.74,"endTime":2109.93,"body":"motivation is to be as strong as"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2104.74,"endTime":2109.93,"body":"I can and to be be the best"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2109.93,"endTime":2114.4,"body":"model that I can be. Again, not"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2109.93,"endTime":2114.4,"body":"perfect, but just the best model"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2114.4,"endTime":2118.84,"body":"that I can be of, of truth"},{"speaker":"Denise Gillespie","startTime":2114.4,"endTime":2118.84,"body":"living living my truth."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2119.95,"endTime":2122.38,"body":"For more of my"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2119.95,"endTime":2122.38,"body":"positivity quest, follow me at"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2122.44,"endTime":2126.67,"body":"underscore j y Ramsden on"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2122.44,"endTime":2126.67,"body":"Instagram tik tok and Twitter."},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2127.21,"endTime":2129.7,"body":"If you liked today's episode,"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2127.21,"endTime":2129.7,"body":"please give us a five star"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2129.7,"endTime":2132.46,"body":"rating and review on your"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2129.7,"endTime":2132.46,"body":"favorite podcast app or visit"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2132.88,"endTime":2137.23,"body":"chaser, calm and search for"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2132.88,"endTime":2137.23,"body":"positivity on fire. Positivity"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2137.23,"endTime":2141.64,"body":"on fire is a production of"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2137.23,"endTime":2141.64,"body":"impact one media LLC. All rights"},{"speaker":"Jason Ramsden","startTime":2141.64,"endTime":2142.09,"body":"reserved."}]}