SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Coffee and Cleavage. Welcome, guys. I'm Linny.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm Claudia.

SPEAKER_00

Cheers. Cheers, girl.

SPEAKER_01

And we have a very special guest today. Yes. My goodness. I mean, Miss CJ Sparks. I feel like if you have the internet, you know who CJ Sparks is.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. And if you don't, get on it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and if you don't, then you're probably not watching this. But we we are so excited to have you here because people that know you are also uh a podcast host. So I love that there's the three of us that have the dynamic of just being able to yap and uh and do it with a little entertainment behind it. So I we love your podcast. Really? Yeah, yeah. I feel like we need to be on it together on her podcast. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

I was just going to ask. I would love to have the two of you on together. That'd be so fun.

SPEAKER_00

That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe we could get Kayla out here and do like a four, a foursome. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. That'd be super fun. We could have the brunettes and the blondes. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

That would be really cool. Yeah. That's really cool. So tell just for people that don't know you, that have been living under a rock, who is CJ Sparks?

SPEAKER_04

Oh gosh. Who is CJ Sparks? Um, well, I'd love to start off with telling the world I just turned 40. All in the last year. Just turned 40. Just moved to Las Vegas and um about coming up on seven years of sobriety here and currently exploring like a whole new realm of um shopping out here and reselling in regards to I'm instead of taking the clothes off, I am bringing more clothing in my house.

SPEAKER_01

And it is a brand new experience for all of us. Wow. And where can people, if they want to shop with you, or where can they go follow you to do that?

SPEAKER_04

Oh my gosh. Well, um not only you can see me without my clothes on, which is probably far more interesting on The OnlyFans. Yes. Um, and if if you don't have any monies for the OnlyFans, just Google me. You can see the old stuff, not the new stuff. Yeah. New stuff is old body.

SPEAKER_03

You can see the old body.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You could get a little taste. Don't be scared. There's a few crazy little nudes on there where my smile is so big. I don't there's one old nude of me that I have where I'm like on a chain link fence.

SPEAKER_03

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

I was outside on a chain link, chain link fence. Don't know why, but I was so happy to be there. It's the biggest smile I think I've ever smiled. Naked in the streets, near the chain link fence, uh chain link fence. If you see that one, just feel free to DM me and let me know that you saw that.

SPEAKER_01

I wish we could drop it here, but unfortunately, I don't think for YouTube we can send it to anything water.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, put some little like 18 with the little like red stripe.

SPEAKER_04

And then yeah, I'm also selling on whatnot. Um, I actually have had a few people come through and say, I think I I've seen you somewhere.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's good. And I'm like, oh, really? I was like, well, I live the first time that happened. I go, well, I live in Las Vegas. Maybe you've seen me out. And they're like, no. And then I I've had a couple people come on and say, Oh, you have a podcast. I'm like, yeah, that's it. The podcast. Yes. You've seen me on the podcast. That's where you see me. And that's it. And then um, I had a my last show that I did. I don't, the people were, I think it was the podcast girl was on there, and she was like, Oh, or somebody was saying, Oh, you're a natural on camera. You seem like you're having a lot of fun. Because it can be quite nerve-wracking to sell clothing live. Yeah, it's kind of nerve-wracking. Um, and I I had I said something about, oh, I've been do, you know, doing, or I'm like an online personality or an internet personality. And they're like, oh, you know, well, what do you do? What's your day job? And I was like, well, something with a lot less clothes than you're seeing here. And it was like all ladies in the chat immediately after I said that, I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But then I followed it up with, What do you think? I'm making an actual living selling my shirts that I got from the Goodwill bins for four dollars a pop. Hey, depending on how many shirts you're selling. Maybe I'd be digging in, I'd be digging in those bins, let me tell you. I get the gloves on. It is a sight to behold.

SPEAKER_01

Do you ever find anything good? Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

I yeah, I found a Roberto Cavalli dress. Um, like a I think I'm gonna wear it tomorrow because we're gonna go to the Nevada Ballet Black and White Ball. And it's an all-white, it's beautiful beaded gown. Like $2 because at the Goodwill bins they sell it by the pound. So probably less than $2.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

Um, I found $7 in a golden egg. It was cash. It was cold hard cash. Yeah, because you dig through piles. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_01

It's not for the maybe we're sleeping on thrifting. Yeah, I don't know. You can come. Okay. That would be a good idea.

SPEAKER_04

You need to put on a bit of a hazmat suit, though, because I can't be responsible for any injuries. But you gotta put the goodies away. We you need to be unrecognized. Immediately out. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's a lot, sorry, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know what it is, but you know, I just love to do things to the extreme. Yeah. So if we're gonna thrift, we're gonna read in the trenches. We're gonna get it by the way. Yeah, I've got it's a it's a lot of fun. But yeah, moving here in the last year, I'm definitely cultivating like a brand new life.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yeah, yeah. And you need to, and I think that that's good to have change, you know, change in life.

SPEAKER_04

I truly think, you know, I feel so um, I have so much gratitude in being able to exist uh nude on the internet for almost two decades now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Truly, when I started doing nudes, I was um just looking to make some extra money on Craigslist.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

And I always tell people this this was when Craigslist was somewhat safe. Don't do it now. There's a lot of weirdos. As we've all learned, there's a lot of weirdos online, so I wouldn't recommend it now. But like I used to do the um pass out the keychains on like St. Patrick's Day, so I would do like the atmosphere modeling.

SPEAKER_01

There was a lot of promo work back in the day.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, like a free uh koozie for corona, and they'd have the cute girls and you'd put on like a tight shirt or even like some booty shorts, or sometimes you might even be in a bikini, and it was legitimate. Yeah, and you could make like a couple hundred dollars, and I was like, wow, if I could make because I'm not formally educated, go figure, not no college degrees here, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So but the double D's get degrees. That's right. That's right, and you know, you you make it work with kind of what you have going at the time.

SPEAKER_04

You're not thinking, oh, one day I'm gonna be naked on the internet. You're just like, okay, I need to make a couple bucks. Yeah. I I want to be law-abiding, you know, I was raised, raised uh Christian on a farm, so I'm like just okay, I gotta work. Yeah, you know, now we work smarter, not harder. But back in those days, I was working harder and um I was just trying to kind of like dive into whatever I could to make some extra money. And um, so that was kind of how it got started. And then I think I remember, you know, I saw a post for like one hour of work. Camming? No, no, that was the nudes, and it was like I could make $100 in an hour, however much in an hour. And I was like, oh wow. So then that was how I got started in the nudes, and then the webcamming I think got started um on MySpace.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting, yeah, and it was a bikini company. Yeah, wow, yeah, I don't even remember that. Yeah, I don't either. Yeah, oh, I was on the MySpace girl. Really? And you were able to do bikinis on MySpace?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we had um, we had I was working with a uh bikini company at the time that had like the tiniest little bikinis you could fit, like a whole bikini in your hand. And now that's not quite as shocking. Yeah. But back then it was like, oh my god, she's a porn star. And I'm like, I'm just here in a bikini. I acknowledge that it's very tiny, but I'm not doing anything else. And so from there, when I got with the bikini company, then they were like, Hey, if you want to make some more money, you can talk to people online.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And I was like, okay, let's do it. And I had gotten multiple DUIs at that time, and I was not allowed to drive in the small town that I lived in where they knew that I was driving without a license. Well, you're from Norkau, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's when I first met CJ. I was like, oh my god, you're from my area.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. So how long have you guys known each other? Through the Great Final, I don't know, maybe a decade. Really?

SPEAKER_00

Actually, yeah. As long as I've known you, girl. Like a decade. 2015, 2016. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So what was like your what was like your first day online where you're like, holy shit, I could make a lot of money doing this.

SPEAKER_04

You know, my first um realization that this could potentially be like life-changing or life-altering was my first birthday online. Um, I I don't know how long I had been webcamming, but I ended up moving into a webcam house where we were webcamming 40 hours plus a week.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

And so we were really making a job of it, you know, and this was prior to like a smartphone. So I wouldn't be on my phone and we would get ready and dolled up. So we treated it very much like a job. Like now, if I go live online, my hair's up in a bun. Like, honey, this is what you get. You better love it or leave it, sweetie. And thank God y'all usually love it. So I appreciate everybody who will watch. But back in the day, you showed up, you were prompt, you did it every day, minimum five days a week. You looked a certain way, you didn't speak about like your personal life or anything like that. So we very much treated it like a job. And my birthday the first year, um, the Amazon delivery, like I had an Amazon wish list. There, I mean, there must have been a knock at the door like every 15, 20 minutes where it would be like an Amazon person bringing me package after package after package. And I was just like, these, like these people, that was the first time I like I think that was maybe like the most gifts I'd ever gotten on my birthday. And I just remember it was like the, you know, the people were knocking at the door, and the other girls in the house were like, What the fuck is going on? Like, what is this? But I had nothing else going on. I remember I couldn't drive anywhere, and I didn't have a boyfriend in real time, and I wasn't close with my family at the time. I was like drinking and partying, so I just really hadn't made any big connections. And um I just saw like boxes by the door and piles and piles, and I and people were gifting me money online. Oh, happy birthday, because I had made the real connections with these people online.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And I remember, you know, I don't know how many thousands of dollars of gifts I remember. I got so many different things off my wish list, and I and I I got like an Apple laptop or something, and that was thousands of dollars. And I just thought, this is how incredible things here, right? Yeah, yeah. I feel so grateful for that, and I will always remember all the other girls were probably pissed. They'd be like, What the fuck is this bitch doing? And I remember I wasn't nude at the time. I wouldn't even get nude.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And um, so people all people might think, oh, you know, well, you were, you know, getting naked and finger banging and fucking and sucking and all that. I wasn't, I really wasn't. And all I had was the ability to verbally try to talk and connect with these people. And I thought, wow, maybe I'm like maybe making a little bit of a difference.

SPEAKER_01

Do you guys have like, I don't know, like for me personally, like I feel like I've been very fortunate with like meeting like some fans that are like have like changed like the trajectory of like how I even communicate with other fans. Like, for example, I had um during COVID, like this story is so sad. You you know, like ALS, the disease ALS. So I had the founder of the ALS challenge. Remember, like we were all doing the buttons, the ice bucket challenge. Yes. So he was like a fan of mine, and I think this started on like OnlyFans or one of my other platforms. And uh he would call me, and then we like went over to like Skype calls and we were doing Skype calls, and the calls were very like he was getting progressively worse and worse. So, like in a sickness, like he lost the ability to speak, he lost the ability to type. Um, it just got like worse and worse and worse. And he would call me once a week, and he'd be like, Claudia, like, you know, like you are my only exposure to like society now because like it's COVID. Yeah, so I can't even like go outside. Like my nurse comes out for one hour a day to take me outside to like wheel me around, you know, where wherever he was, and he's like, That's like my life. And he's like, You're like the only connection I have to like, you know, people and whatever. And like he kept getting worse and worse. And then one day, like, we were scheduled for a call and he didn't call me, and I I Googled him and he passed. And yeah, it was so awful, and it was so interesting because at that point I realized maybe there's more to this than horny men. Yeah, you know, like there's there's connection you could actually make in lives you could actually change. Do you guys have any stories like that? Like any people you've met like that that like have changed your like trajectory of how you view this stuff and like how you go about it?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I do believe that, like you said, there's more than just horny men. Right. You know, a lot of them they I feel like they you know talk to us like companions, yeah, you know, and friends. And absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

And I think that's what like a lot of people don't realize about our jobs. Like, we're not just like these internet bimbos that, you know, talk to you about like what gets you off, but like there's so many connections that like I've made that are so special like that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know if true lasting connections. I have a couple fans that have been with me from like the webcam days that um, you know, years ago I was like drunk and I spent like a New Year's with one of my fans and um like on the on the phone because we were I was home alone and we you know we were chit-chatting and I just will there are people that um they also kind of don't know how impactful they can be to you, too. Yeah. Um, I did actually get catfished by no way. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Did you think you were talking to like some celebrity?

SPEAKER_04

I didn't, not a celebrity, but this guy, his I'll never forget his name. His name is JC Poo Poo Face. That was his name.

SPEAKER_00

What a username.

SPEAKER_04

And you know, that was what I thought at first, but you know, we're nice people, and you just you just see JC Poo-Poo face waiting for you every morning when you log on and it just becomes normal. So I say it out loud now, and I'm like, I should have known the name, should have just set it off red flag right there. What kind of a man's naming himself that I don't know. Uh, but um, he he actually told me at one point that he had like a terminal illness and I like wasn't charging him. We had like moved to Skype because I was like, this man has a terminal illness, and we weren't like like sexing or anything like that. I had never seen him. I like sent him money once to buy a webcam so we could talk face to face.

SPEAKER_03

Girl.

SPEAKER_01

JC poopy pants. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Sending her money back. Finally, one day I got fed up. I said, JC, I done sent you the money for a camera. You keep skirting the issue here. I I'm starting to, there's some other things that are going along and that are not starting to track.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

What is the deal? And he finally revealed himself to me. It was like a man who was very large. And he was in what appeared to be a basement and surrounded by like multiple screens.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

And it was like in black and green, it was like a night vision.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

And um, you know, I clicked off the video. I said, I had enough. You've been lying. Yeah. What the hell was he doing with all the screens? I I have no idea. I did not ask. Oh my god. One can only imagine. I mean, now that I am further along in life, he's probably like a gooner. Don't you think? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

He was goon in a way. And um, but I was so I truly was like naive at the time. I thought like I was helping a friend. Yeah. And this guy, um, he I definitely feel like he took advantage of it.

SPEAKER_01

It's not very often that we get bamboozled. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04

I had I got so bamboozled, and um, I felt like I had like a connection, like I had really made a friend. Chao. I will never forget that man. Poor girl. He really took me for such a ride. And then um, he was like, Well, I guess you don't want to be my friend anymore. And I'm like, I don't care that you're like a heavier set person or that you got all these computers doing God knows what. I don't know. You don't, it's not any of my business, but I'm so fucking pissed off that you like lied to me. You were like lying all the time, every goddamn day. You were lying to me and not disbelieving.

SPEAKER_01

Our job is supposed to be lying.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I like I'm supposed to be the one selling a fantasy. You're like selling me the fantasy of friendship. Wow. And I'll never forget. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Do you have any like do either of you have like any like really creepy fan stories? Like anything that is like without naming names, of course.

SPEAKER_04

Honestly, honestly, I don't I don't have any creepy ones. Creepy, really? I dare a motherfucker to come up to me and try to do some creepy shit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You will be corrected so fast, yeah. Either verbally or physically, or or both. I I yeah, like on by either me or somebody else. Yeah, I'm I am ready for the day. Don't try, don't ever try to fucking stalk me. Don't ever try to do anything. Like, honestly, I'm not the one. I'll just say that.

SPEAKER_01

Um I don't I don't feel like I have like any like horror stories like that either.

SPEAKER_00

Not anything creepy. I mean, I've had some fans that are kind of psycho, but yeah, but not like you know, not showing up at my house or that story you were telling me.

SPEAKER_01

I yeah, a creator we know. I I won't name names. She had somebody show up to her to her house knocking on her door. And I believe I don't want to screw the story up, you know who you are if you're watching. But he was catfished by her, so it wasn't her, it was somebody using her photos, and they started dating and he started sending her money.

SPEAKER_04

iPhone gift what is it, the Apple, all the cards, all that it's always an iTunes gift card.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like why I don't what do you buy on iTunes, guys? Yeah, exactly exactly. Yeah, go on Spotify.

SPEAKER_04

An Amazon gift card, like that I understand, but why do they always need an iTunes gift card?

SPEAKER_01

So anyway, so he so they were dating and then they got into a fight, you know, during their dating, and uh he got pissed and he flew in to you know her house and he knocked on the door and he's like, what the fuck? Da-da-da, going in on her, and she's like, I have no idea who you are. And he's like, You're fucking lying, da da da. So it's like I can't believe like how people still fall for like getting catfish. Like, remember when like catfish came out, like on TV? Yeah. Back then, back in the day, we didn't have FaceTime, we didn't have webcams. And if we did, they were like sketchy and like not everybody had access to them. But like this day and age, like to not be able to FaceTime somebody to verify that's number one.

SPEAKER_04

Number one issue, even like dating, like online dating. If somebody can't FaceTime you, whether you're a man dating a woman, looking for the woman to FaceTime you, or you know, woman dating a man, but usually it's a man catfishing with a woman's picture. Yeah. So if the woman can't FaceTime you right away, immediate red flag. Immediately. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Immediately. Have either of you like ever found out that somebody's been using your photos to catfish people? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

On WhatsApp and taking money. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah, I hear that all the time.

SPEAKER_04

And it drives me crazy because I'm like, how are people so and then all of a sudden it's supposedly my problem? Like, I've got to fix this for you. Like, I what like that's not me. That's enough. Conversation over, but like you're saying, if you're silly enough to fall for it, yeah, that's kind of on you. If you're talking to me outside of my OnlyFans or like you're saying, outside of any other platform.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I found you from your private Facebook with a hundred followers. With a hundred followers, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04

Your Google Meet. Yeah, yeah. Like, what is that all? Why am I on Google Meet? Or what is it? Google Chats. Why am I? I'm on TikTok, Twitter, the, you know, the Instagram, several Instagram accounts. You know, like how am I when am I supposed to sleep? I'm just making pads. Wait, who for you?

SPEAKER_01

Guys, I had a fake escorting page. Oh, yeah. Oh, which is crazy to me because it's like, who shows up? Yeah, that part. And it's what's so crazy. So this happened to somebody else I know. Like it was a girl, somebody was using her escorting photos, and they actually called the girl and they hired her. Her and her husband called the girl to hire her. Oh my god. And she shows up to the hotel. Really? Supposed to be this girl. Right. And the guy was like, Are you fucking serious? And he chased her down the hotel. Oh, I know this. Yeah, yeah. Chased her down the hotel and she's running. But like in that situation, it's like the guy can't call the police because you're you're soliciting, right? The girl can't call the police because she's, you know, she's also doing something bad. But yeah, I've seen an escorting page on me. And like the rates were very high, which is good. I was getting a good one.

SPEAKER_00

I was on one two with really high rates, and I wanted to call and be like, who the fuck is this? Yeah, you know?

SPEAKER_01

And like who shows up? Like, I want to see the girl that shows up as me. Right. Like, are you actually hot?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Because if you're actually hot, might not be that mad.

SPEAKER_01

Show up in your Louis Vuitton pants. Like make her look good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We like that the rates are high. Yeah. It tracks.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Man, it's it's actually that that's like a world I'll never understand. Because there's so much verification we can do.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

This day and age. Yes. That that drives me absolutely crazy.

SPEAKER_04

At this point, if you get bampoozed, that's on you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Right. Poor guys, but guys do all the time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. God bless. There is um, there is, I have to say, there is like a beauty to it. Yeah. Because they're like, well, I just thought I was gonna hire my favorite Instagram girl. What's so wrong about that? Or she fell in love with me. That's right. Why, why wouldn't you fall in love with me? Claudia, I'm a nice man. You're married, but hey, maybe, maybe, you know, it's like, yeah, that's kind of like a childlike innocent. Like, okay, that's cute.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's cute. It's it's and and I I actually I had a story like that recently where a guy messaged me and he's like, Is this you? And I'm like, well, no, the person you're talking to on that page is is not me. And he was so upset. Yeah, he's kind of hurt. And he's just like, Well, can we like talk?

SPEAKER_02

And I'm like, no. No, babe. Can we please try? Can we try? I can't blame him for asking. I know, poor guy. You gotta, you gotta ask. The worst you can say is no, but yeah, no worse for the wear.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So poor guys. Well, CJ, you definitely have some stories.

SPEAKER_04

I love it. It's like so ridiculous, but um, I am very grateful to have been in this industry and to exist for as long as I have in the um in the nude space. Um, I think it's like just so on one hand, in certain settings, it is still socially unacceptable to be naked on the internet. You know? Um, but on the other hand, in other settings, I think like I'm naked on the internet and like not in, I'm naked on the internet in my 20s, but I'm also naked on the internet in my 30s. And I look better, or I, or I I'll see kind of um the evolution, and I'm like, wow, my posing and everything. So I'm like, you know, I'm kind of it's like that Moira Rose quote like, upload your nudes to the internet, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Make sure you upload your nudes to the internet and send them out, you know, so everyone can see. Cause it's like I I look like I I look so good and I think we look better and better as we and you feel so good.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. You get your style down, you're posing down. I know my good side. I didn't know my good side. Like, I remember one photographer was like, CJ, you have he was like trying to politely ask me, like, if I had a lazy eye. And because he was taking pictures of me, like this was like my first photo shoot, and it was like an all day for the bikini company. You know, some of these are like all day, you're in the heat, you're nervous because you're still figuring out, you know, kind of what you have to offer in that situation, and you're like, you know, just got weird facial expressions. And he was like, Is there something like your eye in this area is going that way? Yeah, he was like a nice, a nice guy, but a younger guy wasn't as well seasoned of a photographer. And and um, and he was dating one of the girls there, so I could tell that he was trying to be kind around the subject. He was like, This eye is closed and this one is open. He was like, Do you know anything? He was doing this. Do you know anything about that?

SPEAKER_03

What? And he was like, Let me show you. And then I saw and I was like, Oh my god. I was like, Why are you pointing the camera at me when I'm doing that?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he was like, You keep doing it. I was like, I'm so sorry. And then I, you know, many years later, was like, Oh, that's the not good side. The left side is the good side, but the right side is Is that why you're sitting over there?

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

When I saw I was on the bed today, I was like, Thank you, Jesus. Yeah, yes. That's that was my only concern. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, don't okay. Now now we know for next time. When we do the four of us, we're we're where we all need to sit. Yeah. We ask, so every time we have somebody on the show, we ask one final question. If you had to tell your younger self something, what would it be?

SPEAKER_04

Okay, if I had to tell my younger self something, it would be that I am like I am worthy or I am enough as I am. I don't need to prove to anyone. I don't need to try to convince anyone that um that I'm cool, that I matter, that I think cool things, that my clothes are cool, that I do cool things, that I have cool aspirations. Or I don't, I wish I would have spent so much less time qualifying myself to other people, both men and women. Um some sometimes when you're younger, like everything is just so like do or die. Yeah. It's so serious, and things that should be light feel so heavy. And um, I think I just was constantly measuring myself up against other people and not just appreciating what I had going on. I think that's why I went um way out of left field with drugs, drugs and alcohol, um, to just try to numb the self-hate. I I I just grew up like with so much self-scriny and self-hate and um just no confidence, like none. And um I'm so grateful that I kind of always had boundaries, certain boundaries. Um and so I didn't go too far into the uh into the adult stuff to where it really would feel like a hindrance or a heavy burden for me to carry. I'm still very proud that I'm naked on the internet. I just don't know if that's going to be me in the next 10 years. Um but I feel good around it. And I just um I guess I would tell myself, like, you're like you're good. You're good where you're at. Obviously, keep trying, keep striving for more, keep working harder, keep striving to be the best version of yourself, but don't take into account what somebody else says the best version of you is. Yeah, you know, yeah, figure it out for yourself, yeah, hold true, stay true to that, and then like that's it, you know, then then go from there. But don't measure yourself up against the other.

SPEAKER_01

And we still need to do that, even as adults. I think that's a good reminder.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. I think we're quicker to get ourselves out of it though. Yeah now. Yeah, you know, sometimes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes, yes, yeah. Well, cool. Yeah, well, cheers to that, guys. Absolutely. Thank you for joining us today. Yeah, that was over fast. I baked and it was done. I know. My god, we have to do another one. Cheers, guys. Absolutely, cheers.