The Truth About Gold Diggers (No One Wants To Say This)

Gold digger.

It's one of the most common accusations in modern dating—but what does it actually mean?

In this episode, Lynnie, Claudia and Gary explore the uncomfortable realities surrounding money, attraction, success, and relationships. Are gold diggers real? Is wanting financial security the same thing? Why do successful people attract partners with different intentions?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Coffee and Cleavage. Welcome, guys. I'm Linny. And I'm Claudia.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

And hello, Gary.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hey ladies. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 0:07

How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Doing great.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Gary, we get so sad when we have guests and you don't chime in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Do you guys do you guys miss me?

SPEAKER_02 0:14

We do. We miss you guys.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

I wish I could be on the guest episodes. I feel like it'd be too much though.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Yeah. Or we like, you know, we could also do like a Gary is the guest episode, but we like blur his face.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Oh yeah. And do the whole drugs ink voice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Like blur my whole body. That'd be great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Like a shadow.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Like a shadow. People are so curious about Gary.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

I'll just wear a costume and I can be on sometime.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Oh my God. That'd be so funny. Like one of those like inflatable dinosaur costumes.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

That's a good idea, actually.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Well, everybody drop your questions for Gary. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I think everyone's just jealous of my job. I th I would say. So I'm like grateful that I'm still able to be on it with you guys. Yeah. So thank you. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Yeah. Remember when I came on the show, you were like, should we still have Gary? I was like, yes. Like, what do you mean? Like, what kind of question is that? Of course. Do we need Gary?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Speaking of Gary, gold diggers, no. No, but today's topic is quite an interesting one because I feel like this will really piss some of you off. I know it's going to, and that's why we're doing it. Gold diggers.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Are they real? Or are men just dating women? They can't afford.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

You're saying gold, like gold, right? Not gold.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Gold diggers.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Gold.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Gold.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Or are men just dating outside of their pay grade?

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Um, are you asking me?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Can you ask one more time?

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Are gold diggers a thing or are men dating outside of their pay grade?

SPEAKER_00 1:53

I think gold diggers are a thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Do you guys think so?

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Elaborate.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

I don't know. I just think some girls definitely are into guys, you know, that have a lot of money because they want the easy way out. Not all of them, but I mean for sure. It's like, you know, I mean we come back to the pretty thing where girls like that are pretty, it's like, I don't A lot of girls are driven to do stuff and others aren't. So it's I mean they want the easy way out, which happens to a lot of them too. So I do, I do see that. And have you seen like this Instagram stuff where guys have like the nice cars and they go up to the girl and it's like, hey, you want to go on a date? And they're like, uh, no. Yeah. And they're like, all right, cool. And they walk over to Lamborghini. The girl's like, well, wait, wait, hold on. It's like, I mean, but is that stage?

SPEAKER_02 2:36

But it's like, is that fake to make women look like gold diggers?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Couldn't you see that happening though? I could see that happening for sure, with some some girls particularly, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:47

I think there are some gold digger, gold diggers, but I think that, you know, a lot of times men do tend to date out of their for sure. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Women are expensive, no matter how you slice it. And I'm not even talking about women like you and me. Like, women just naturally are expensive. It's expensive to be a woman. We require a lot of things. We have a lot of appointments. Like, we're just expensive. Expensive appointments. Yeah, it's non-fricking stop with us sometimes. So, yes, I do think that there is such a thing as gold diggers, but I also think women in general are always picked on by men when half these men that are claiming we're gold diggers don't even have the gold to dig.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Yep. Like, how many times have you seen, like, you're a gold digger? And it's like, yeah, what gold do you have? You need to have gold for me to dig for me to be a gold digger. Like, what what gold? You know, like yeah, I hate that.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

I saw this clip on on IG. It was a whole reel this guy did about it. And I I liked a lot of his points, you know. He even said, a nat like a natural, natural woman rocking a natural look still costs 400 bucks. Yeah, like minimum. Minimum. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Like what does your haircut cost? Like a month for her?

SPEAKER_01 4:07

$800 every six weeks.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Every time you go there. And and that's that has nothing to do with a designer bag or what car you drive, whatever. Like, it's just naturally expensive to be a woman.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Yeah. Hair, nails, even if you're not, you know, every chick gets her nails done. Yeah.

unknown 4:25

Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Oh.

unknown 4:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Do you think that's why some guys are like, I like natural women, but I still want to be hot. But like, natural, like, I don't have to do all that stuff, but like, still be hot. I mean, and they find I feel like guys find out, like, okay, you're so hot, and then it's like, hey, I gotta get this done, nails. And it's like, why do you gotta do that? It's like, you want me to be hot, but then you don't want to pay for all the shit.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Right. Okay, so my question when a woman wants something simple like flowers and dinner, gold digger.

unknown 4:57

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 4:58

That's just so simple. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

I mean, honestly, that's dumb because I think guys should be doing that regardless. The bare minimum? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

The bare freaking minimum. Yeah. Like what? Like, why does that make woman a gold digger when she's asking for basic essentials when you're dating somebody?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

You think a gold digger would be like, hey, I bought you this Mercedes, but it's not like, and she gets pissed because it's not an AMG.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

That's not like my super sweet 16. Like, that's not the car I wanted. Yeah. That would be a gold digger.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

It's like you're not appreciative of stuff and you want all this shit where it's like they do exist.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

But do they exist as much as men claim they do? That's that's my question. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

I don't think so either.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Because it's always the guys that have nothing to show for that claim that every woman is out to get them, which I don't think is the case.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

No.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yes, there are plenty of gold diggers out there, but trust me, guys, unless you're very, very, very well off, these women don't need you for pasta and a martini.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Like so, what if you have a what if you're like in your 50s, 60s and you're dating again and you have a good job, good retirement, and you're trying to meet these women and it's like single women with kids. You think that could be gold diggers? Like, this guy's got a good job, good retirement. Like, that could be a gold digger in a way.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

That could be, yeah. Trying to be set up for the future.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Yeah, like he worked, he's got a good job, he's got retirement. Like, that's that's the man I want compared to someone that's like, oh, hey, I have like a normal job, not like I don't work for the state or anything. And you have this retirement where I could see that essentially being like, this is my man that's gonna set me up.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Or is that just wanting the best for yourself and you're not necessarily a gold digger?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Just being smart too.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Yeah. Because, you know, for me, if I was single, would I be necessarily looking for the wealthiest man? No, because I make my own money. So, like for me, like I would just be looking for a good man, not not, you know, the the wealthiest guy in the room because I could provide for myself. But in the same respect, like, would I want to date a loser just because I don't want your money? No. No, like you still need to have certain boxes that you check. And that doesn't make me a gold digger. That just means I have expectations because I know what I offer.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Exactly. Someone else that compliments, you know, you being driven, ambitious.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

And in in that respect, also, if you're a beautiful woman, right? And you take care of yourself and you've spent all the money on the surgeries and this, that, the other, and you're well put together, you're also not going to go for a loser because why did I just invest all this into myself to be with like some someone who doesn't take care of their self? Yeah. So she's not a gold digger either, to me, in my eyes. She's just, you're dating. You have to date standards. Yeah, you have to date within like your, you know, like make it make sense. You know, like so I'm sure you get messages all the time, and guys will be like, Let me take you out. And I'm like, have you looked at my page at all? Like, forget about the fact that I'm married. Do I not look expensive to you? Like, do you not see like no offense, but offense, like, buddy?

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Or like the my favorite one. I just posted this the other day. Let me take you shopping. And I go on the guy's page, and it's like the type of shopping I do versus what I'm seeing on your page just doesn't align. So, no offense to Forever 21, but we're not going on a Forever 21 shopping spree.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Oh, it's like stay in your range.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Yeah. Let's go on a trip together. It's like, totally. That sounds great. I've never met you, but yeah, take me to like Mexico. We'll just meet there. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

But some I feel like some girls would. Some girls would.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Like where you pay for everything. It's like, oh my God, how dumb are you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Since I love the saying, act your wage.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Act your wage. Like, and there's nothing wrong with shooting for the stars and approaching women that are, you know, look expensive. But it's also like you can't call them a gold digger if they turn you down because that's act your wage. Yeah. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

So would you consider a gold digger someone? Have you had any friends that are kind of like, oh, hey, I met this guy and he like bought me stuff? And then, like, would you consider that a gold digger? I mean, or what essentially is that? Like, I met this rich guy and he like took me a Cartier and bought me.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Well, some some of these girls specifically look for older men because they want to be set up, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Like they want a sugar daddy. They want a sugar daddy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

But is a gold digger a sugar baby? Or do they go hand in hand? Or is that two different people? Because a sugar baby, like you know, if you're a sugar baby, I'm looking for an old, no, it doesn't have to be old, an older man that is going to set me up and take care of me and buy me whatever the fuck I want. But I'm not marrying him. But I feel like gold digging has like the the they just want a rich guy. Yeah, it's like a very specific. Yeah, I don't know if those two are necessarily the same thing. I haven't thought about that. But yeah, what do you guys think? Is a sugar baby and a gold digger. I think it's two different things.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

I do too, because like you were saying, if you're a sugar baby, you know, it yeah, it's a very specific arrangement.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

And the guy knows when you're a sugar baby, okay, I'm the sugar daddy, you're the sugar baby. Like, there's no there's no wondering, like, are you gold digging? Because you know I'm technically gold digging, yeah, right. Yeah, but a gold digger, I think guys are kind of like like sidelined by like, oh shit, like she's looking for someone to lock in and marry that has money. Yeah, yeah. And I think gold digging is more like women thinking about marriage in the future. Sugar babies are like right now. Like I need a Cartier something right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

To go back to my apartment and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

I love the quote that's like, don't be the girl with a $50,000 bag without $50,000 to put into it. Like that to me is a sugar baby. Yeah. The gold digger has the $50K to also put in the bag. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just I don't know, guys. I'm expensive, so I would have to date a man that could at least match my expensive, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Yeah. That's okay with you, you know, wanting to go out and buy yourself a bracelet or a watch.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

You know, so would you be like the kind of girl, you know the girl from Modern Family, Sophia something? Yeah, where she's like, I only date a guy who makes as much as me or more. Yeah. She's worth like a shitload of money.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Um as much or me or more. Yeah.

unknown 11:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Cause because then how do I know you're not gold digging more than that? That's what I'm saying. Reverse the tables. Like, how do I know you're not just taking advantage of my money?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Like what if you're a loser? Like well, what like what do you bring to the table? Yeah. I think mine I could definitely see men being gold diggers, but it just naturally goes the towards the women's route because you know, that's that's the world we live in.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

You never hear of guys being gold diggers.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

You don't. Yeah. You hear about you know, sugar mamas and what do they call that?

unknown 12:16

Sugar.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

I think still sugar babies. Sugar mamas.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Sugar mamas, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Yeah. Female gold like the opposite of gold diggers, like sugar mamas?

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

I don't know. There's so much terminology with this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

I don't I feel like that would be like a power thing. Like, oh, you need money? Okay, here you go. And it's like reverse of power. It's kind of weird. Oh, you want you want a bag today? Here's the here's the but what would the guy want?

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Because he doesn't want a bag.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Like, I want this car really bad. Like, all right. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like the woman has the power. It's like kind of probably could be empowering, but I mean, we already're like taking care of a guy.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Taking them shopping.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

I know of somebody, um, personally, that was on a a dating website as a woman looking for guys like that. And obviously, men were like, hell yeah, because like she's worth, you know, a lot, a lot, a lot of money. And that's like one of the hardest things for her, is she she was like, I know I'm on this app and these guys only want to date me because I'm worth a shit ton of money. And it's like men are playing the same games, like they're they're also looking to be set up.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

So at that point, wouldn't you say like nothing about you having money? I mean, because if you're dating and I mean, I couldn't imagine being super rich and dating and being like, oh, I own this company. You would have so many girls just being like, Oh my god, you're rich. Like I would never say that.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

But why do why do men say it? Why do men say, I own this, I own that, I'm the CEO of this, da-da-da-da-da. Why can't women, but men can't?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

I I feel like men are more fine with being like, okay, I'm like rich, so I'm gonna get all these hot girls because they think every hot girl likes a guy with money.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

And I don't know if that essentially goes the same way with women. I mean, if you say if you were dating, yeah, I mean, would you be like, hey, I'm on Tinder and I'm gonna like post a picture of me in my car? And like with all my stuff, would you do that? Or would you be like, I'm not gonna show that money?

SPEAKER_02 14:15

No, I don't think I would show anything.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

That's I I feel like you attract like the worst people when it's like you show your money because like, oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Or hot and you have a shitload of money? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Like, yeah, like who wouldn't want that?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

That's not a bad setup for anybody. But I mean, men do go on and they show their cars and they show their watches and da da da. And then they're surprised that women are after them for their money.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

Like you can't show up.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Asking for it.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

You almost have to play like that. What is that TV show? Like undercover boss or something, where like the like the billionaire like goes and works at Chipotle or whatever, and like nobody knows. Yeah. Like you have to do that until you find the girl that likes you for, you know, your minimum wage job. And then you're like, oh, by the way, I'm a billionaire.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Like But don't you think most guys don't care? Essentially, if you're rich and you're like, Yeah, I'm rich, and you have all these hot models after you, and you're like, Yeah, I know they want me for my money, but yeah, it's cool. I mean, you're still like, you're rich and you have these hot girls, and it's like, look at all the like the rich guys that date like 20-year-olds, and it's like, come on, man.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Like they they they know, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

They know. It's kind of like, yeah, I know. If I had money, she wouldn't date me, but it's like, I feel like they just kind of like, whatever, cares.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

And hopefully they get lucky and find a girl that likes them for for both reasons, not just the financial aspect. But I think also money makes people look more attractive if they're not.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

You know, like have you seen that story recently? The girl was like, I think it was like the owner of the Raiders or something.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Just oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

And somebody was like doing like an interview with him, and she's she's like, Well, I didn't even know he was a billionaire. I just liked him for his smile. And this guy is like isn't it? Like he's like has the the haircut, like the bowl, like the bowl cut, and she's like, I like him for a smile. I'm like, that's what you like him for. Not that he's a billionaire, you like his smile. I'm like, girl. But I but if you take that same guy and let's say he was worth $20,000, would you still like him for his smile? I don't think so. That would have been a great question. Yeah, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Have you guys found that when you date, like more guys try to flaunt if they have money? Like, oh, I'll pick you up on my BMW M3, don't worry. It's like or like something like that, making it known they have money, or is it more guys are just like whatever with it?

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Well, guys will if you if you're dumb and if you don't look at my pages for a second, if they think that I'm single and they approach me, I will get a lot of guys that'll be like, Well, like, you know, I don't have a Lamborghini, but and it's like, if if I was single, like, why would you start the conversation like with something negative about yourself? Like, do you really think that like that's the first thing I think about when you're approaching me? Like what car you drive?

SPEAKER_00 17:00

No, like I would think guys would have almost be like impress you more, like, hey, I'll come pick you up in a helicopter if you want. Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Like the fuck, who does it? I'm I'm not getting those guys, unfortunately. I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

That's because those type of guys don't do that. No, really, they don't.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

They don't. You you won't know about the helicopter until date five, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the ones that are legit at least like actual, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think that those guys have class, yeah. The real ones, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

The guys that I'm actually getting in my DMs, I'm like, you have balls.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

They don't have class, but they got balls.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Yeah, they got balls of guessing which one's better. It's like you gotta say something at one point to like get a reaction. Yeah, I mean, what uh what's like something that has stood out to you that guys have said?

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Oh god, there's just so many of these things.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Because it's like you know, you guys get millions of guys being like, You're so gorgeous. I'd love to take you to dinner. And it's like, you gotta like, I feel like sometimes these guys are assholes on purpose to get your attention. Like, and you're like, fuck you, and they're like, I got your attention, at least to what's up.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Did you see the thing I posted yesterday? The guy's been in my DMs for the last five years.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yes, I saw that.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

And every time he messages me, he talks about a different location in Vegas. Hey, have you been to this, that, so and so? Hey, have you been to this? I have never responded. And every time, and then he took like a four-year break, so I don't know what happened. Like, I was I almost got offended. He stopped messaging me. I'm like, why'd you stop?

SPEAKER_01 18:23

He gave up finally.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

He gave up, and then he started messaging me again. So I'm like, okay, got it. If you still I still got it. But like every time he would ask about like a different place, and I'm like, guys, like you need something better. Like, give me something better.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

He listened to the podcast though, and he's like, Remember what you said? You're like, I like when guys blow me up. So he's like, You're gonna one day just be like, Oh my god, since maybe you've been writing me for 10 years. I owe you a DM.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

True. Okay, never mind, don't bother me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah. Well, you know, okay, I was thinking back to that thing I saw. It was like, if you want a Lambo, be prepared to pay for the maintenance. Yes, you know, yep. If you can't afford the maintenance, then you're not gonna get you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Yeah, it's true. Yeah, yeah. Don't buy the Lambo then. Yeah, and we are the Lambos.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah, so stay in your reins.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Stay in your lane, act your wage, all the things.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Act your wage, act your wage, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Sorry, guys. I know we keep it.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

That needs to be on a shirt.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Act your wage.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Well, guys, let us know what you think about gold diggers and if you've been a victim or are you a gold digger? Yeah, also let us know.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Cheers, cheers, guys.