all right, what's good y'all? It's jet plugger stream and the zone podcast is back at again with another review. This time we are fulfilling a birthday wish by professor tuck. Uh, he had a birthday a while back and he suggested that we review major pain, which is a classic, and joining me with this review is, of course, professor tuff, the retired ninth hokage and the fancy club, president kokugatsu. Without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it. So, with major pain, you have this guy, uh, having like what was it? Ex-military experience on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was in the Marine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, marine Corps yeah, and he was pretty much like I don't know. I don't know. I want to say like kind of gave me like oh, fucking special ops type vibes the way he went about it, but anyways, anyways, it was major benson winifred pain. He returns from this successful drug raid in, uh, south america, uh got passed over for promotion to lieutenant colonel uh, instead, because of, um, the way he handled the shit in that raid, he got an honorable discharge and trying to adjust to civilian life. Oh man, you remember that one part where he was trying to be a cop and shit and that one lady was trying to just play it out. They were like what's wrong, man? I was like he hit me and then he was like how dare you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he hit me. And then he was like how dare you? Yeah, he was better than that.
Speaker 3:That shit was funny as hell.
Speaker 1:He ends up getting arrested. His former commander gets him out of jail and secures him a position back in the military, but on one condition he gotta go to a prep school, a medicine preparatory, in Virginia, and got to be under the Given command of the JROTC students. And that reminds me of how we had ROTC back in high school. They were getting prepared for Marine Corps, navy and what not. So anyway, we got these cadets, these group of delinquents you can say delinquents, outcasts, weirdos, whatever you want to call them. They got placed last in the Virginia military games for eight straight years and Payne, you know, decided to take matters into his own hand and assert his authority. You know, decided to take matters into his own hands and assert his authority, you know, like how, what Cartman would say, and so forth. But before I continue, tuck, you got anything y'all want to add on.
Speaker 3:You mean to tell me, in all this mad military ain't no room for a trained killer?
Speaker 2:He got honorably discharged from the Marines due to lack of wars.
Speaker 3:He was discharged from doing his job too. The dude literally said you did your job too well, payne. He said everything is solved by pen and paper. Now they're too fucking scared of us. Somebody gotta need some killing. Nope, you killed them all, payne. I want you to understand for him. It's like that moment of like when you finally 100% complete a game and you find out that there's no more DLC, nothing else, they're not doing nothing else and you're just like that's it, that's it, that's the end of the game, that's the end else, and you're just like that's it, that's it, that's the end of the game, that's the end of everything. You've beaten every. That's how I felt with spider man, the uh, ps4 insomniac spider-man the first one, because I beat all the dlc, I beat everything, finally got all the games and I got that 100, got that platinum trophy, and then it was like and then it was like there's nothing else.
Speaker 3:There's nothing else around the city. Yeah, and that's it. I beat all the taskmaster things. I beat everything. You swing around the city for nothing, that's just. That's the whole game now. It's just swinging around the city, unless you start a whole new file pass that on to a child man.
Speaker 2:You better go, I also have one when miles.
Speaker 3:I was so happy when Miles Morales popped up. I was like, finally something.
Speaker 2:The characters in this is amazing, bro, and it's so many quotables, oh, my God, the entire movie is quotable.
Speaker 3:Yes, I agree. He said, hey, this is my finger. No, no, wait. No, maybe before the thing he said, oh my Lord. He said, hey, this is my finger, no, no, wait. He said, oh, my leg. He said you want me to give you something to take your mind off that pain. Give me a hand Now. You may feel a little bit of pressure.
Speaker 1:Hey, be the trick here with your finger.
Speaker 2:Killer is my business, and business is good. Good. Oh my gosh, I know we gotta get into the plot and some of the, some of the characters and what not, but literally everything is a quotable, literally.
Speaker 1:Like, for instance, characters, literally Like, for instance, characters. Alright, so we got Emily Wahlberg, the school counselor. We know the actress, karen Parsons, as Hillary from First Prince of Bel-Air, and I was kind of thinking, you know, with my adult brain, I was like wait a minute, you look familiar Hillary, that's where I remember you from. You know, I was like wait a minute, you look familiar Glory, that's where I remember you from. Um, you know, See, and pain Clash over um, the way they Trying to uh raise the boys and what not you know.
Speaker 1:Um, pain is being like Hard on them. And then, uh, miss Wahlberg, which like trying to be soft, you know, like nature, um, I mean structure, um, versus, that's what it was. It was that sort of thing. You got the headmaster, mainly focused on academia, but he doesn't really care about military games and he only Orders on to pay that he keep the cadets for causing trouble around the school, so he just really don't care for kids. And then let's go ahead and get into the cadets. Now, before I really get into them, I just want to say I like how, like, oh, y'all disrespecting me, huh, all right, I'm forgetting the quote and I'll get back to it, but uh, if there even was something quotable. But essentially he had all the boys on shave their heads oh yeah, no, that was the quotable one.
Speaker 3:He says oh, you think you could talk back to me, boy. He said I couldn't, it's okay, I got something for you. And he. He Pandons on and they had their heads shaved. Miss Wahlberg Was so mad, did you have the boys' heads shaved? They ought to work like a unit and look like a unit.
Speaker 1:I have. I got two quotables. I have eight weeks to turn you Gaggle of magazines to a well disciplined Cadet unit. From this day forward, your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or even dig in your butt without my say-so. And the second quotable is, from now on, my little group of scrotum sacks. You will walk like me, talk like me eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be bald like me oh and bro like the one time he had them all fucking marching around in dresses and shit oh no, that was.
Speaker 3:That was their own fault. That was their own fucking fault when they tried to pretend that he was a pedophile and he dressed up one of the kids in a dress to get on his own sexual stuff and he, literally, was trying to get him on fire and shit.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, I got to go he sleeps with his eyes wide open.
Speaker 3:He sees everything.
Speaker 2:Bro. He told him to apologize. He said I'm sorry that you were a little turned down in public Now get out of my home before I throw you out that window.
Speaker 3:Bro Tiger.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh bro, Mr Vaginer.
Speaker 3:Man Orlando bro, oh my gosh, mr Vaginer man Orlando bro, we praying for him. He's going through a whole lot still right now, man, oh, he's going through a whole lot still and he's going to borrow every week, unfortunately, and not for good shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he be saying some stuff, though it be it be funny'd be funny, it'd be real good, and it just it'd be all over the place actually.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's supposed to be recovering crackhead and a lot of people still think that he's still on it. Yeah, but yeah, tiger, oh, no, one of the best ones we talked to miss walbert. He said well, I think you should pop the titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up I see he said what did you plotting on me, boy? Look, the cadets was wild, though. The cadets ran off. I think what was it? Six, I think it was, but they ran off several other leaders bro, I'm gonna say one, two, three.
Speaker 1:Wait, no, no, um, dotson doesn't really count because he was a cadet squad leader. Um, but then he got.
Speaker 3:I want to say one, two, three, we don't know. Dotson doesn't really count because he was a cadet squad leader. I mean like you know, I mean like actual adult leader, like there's a reason, major pain had to step in, type of thing. They was like oh, we got a major, we got another major because they even ran off another major too. And so it's like they run off people. The other dudes be like there's nothing I can do to get those boys in line, there's nothing I can do to keep them, boys, in shape. They're just too much. There's too much to handle type of shit. It's like they purposely run off other people because no one really cares about them, because each of them have their own little story of why they're there. We dude one kid who's mute and who's like not me, he's deaf.
Speaker 1:Uh, we haven't like alex stone, who his dad is a fucking drug addict well, he's not only uh, an alcoholic that abuses alex, but he's also a lieutenant colonel yeah, so he gets away with that all the time too, so it's just like oh so, man, that one part where no, no, no.
Speaker 1:This reminds me of my favorite part in the whole movie. Uh, I don't care what anyone said, this is my favorite part to where, uh, basically, he, uh, lieutenant colonel stone, uh, alice, stepfather, he showed up um harassing alice, like you need a salute. I was like no, sir, I was like you're gonna disrespect me, boy, like. And then um major pain stepped in and I was like I'm gonna take my left foot and kick you in the right side of your face. And then pretty much kicked his ass. And then I was like I thought you're gonna kick, uh, take your left foot, kick me in the right side of the face. And I was like you called me a liar no, no that was, that was a different one.
Speaker 3:That was a different one that was was when Alex hired a biker gang to beat up Payne. Oh yeah, he did hire them. That's when he beat him up. He said you calling me a liar. He was like somebody going to pay for this blood from my lip. Don't all speak at once.
Speaker 2:Walk around with a napkin.
Speaker 3:Walk around with a napkin, don't all talk at once. Fuck, we said I'm going. What is this like? 24, three, 23 hour days full of fun and adventure. I'm going to make you boys strong.
Speaker 1:Throw out a thing for that.
Speaker 3:But no, like no, because uh, alex's dad actually hit him and uh was actually about to hit him. No, he did. He hit him once Alex got up and said no, I'm still not going to salute you, cause he was, he was demanding. He said you salute me, I earned the right for you to salute me. He's like I'm not going to salute you cause you're trash. And Alex literally spit at his feet on that shit too, because that's how much he absolutely hates his dad. His dad is just disrespectful and just demands that shit from him.
Speaker 3:And when he was about to do it again, that's when um major wound up, grabbing him and tossing him over. He's like you get away from here, don't ever bring your ass here, no more. So, yeah, like it's one of those moments where, like major pain, like stood up for him. But it was also that moment of showing that he's like I'm not going to give a moment of weakness, like it was one thing I know somebody had talked to. It was like it would have made a difference if he had like gave alex a hug at that moment and I'm like no, because that's not what alex needed.
Speaker 3:Alex needed to know what it meant to find a strong, positive male there and it's like sometimes like just giving a hug, that baby moment for a kid who's supposed to be that much older. No, he's the squad leader. You have to be able to learn how to take it and still move forward, and it's a hard ass thing to teach someone, but it's a real thing and Major Payne's the perfect one for it, because he'll teach that to any goddamn body. He don't give a fuck. He's teaching that shit to Tiger. He almost broke that little boy's finger Take your mind off of that needle and about to break his damn finger.
Speaker 3:But, um, I remember talking to someone before and it was like oh, he should have gave Alice a hug at that moment. No, he literally told him. He said you alright. He said alright.
Speaker 1:I'm going to spec you back in the bear. I'll be on brand for all the pains, where it's like, nah, he don't really do all the hugging shit. He might be at the very end where it just feels like something out of character for him to do, and even then he'll be a little awkward about it.
Speaker 3:Remember, actually, when Miss Wahlberg gave him no, when Tiger gave him a hug, he was so thrown back he turned around and put that boy in the headlock.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:He don't do no hugging. He don't do hugging whatsoever, he's like no. He said what you trying to do, boy? You plotting on me?
Speaker 1:Nah, you know what that reminds me of this. One other quote where I was like, um, know this about me private I know it's a different um cadet, but know this about me private ass eyes. War has made me very paranoid and when a man gets an eyeball on me, it makes my agent or an actor and I get the earth. I aggravate my condition.
Speaker 3:Do you understand me, sir? Yes, sir, do you understand me?
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, bro, I'm supposed to get dying.
Speaker 1:One don't you feel dumb.
Speaker 3:Two look at you.
Speaker 1:Look at you Three don't you ever make jokes about me behind?
Speaker 3:my back, or else I'll dump you in the ground, in the ground yeah, that was the scene, cause that was the scene right before the back of dude showed up. He's like pain. I got a problem with you. I got a bone to pick with you. I heard you been giving up these kids a hard time.
Speaker 2:You can't make it in a real man's military.
Speaker 3:I heard you can't make it in a real man's military. I heard it's time for you to leave Just the whole thing. The whole movie is quote-unquote so funny. I think the part of it being good. I think the party just being good, party just be good, hey bro.
Speaker 2:You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Bruh, I'll never get the tubby tubbies, bro, oh man.
Speaker 3:They say you can't one tubby tubbies, bro. Oh man, they say one tubby tubby, two tubby tubby, three tubby. He's like you know, I know the dope boy. You gotta pop him in the stomach and make him go.
Speaker 2:My two favorite scenes, bro, one, is when he was reminiscing having a barbecue at the train station.
Speaker 3:Bro, yes, when he was losing his mind he was like I think I'm adapted to civilian life. He's like I don't Listen, maybe I ain't come. Maybe I like you. Maybe I like you a lot. Don't push the maybe Bruh.
Speaker 2:And when he was telling the story bruh.
Speaker 1:Negative. I figured. If the Marines want me to have a wife, they issue me one Issue me one yep, and that's some real shit.
Speaker 3:Like there's real veterans that truly believe that shit, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they say it all the time bruh and you gotta be.
Speaker 3:what is it that movie? Um, don't breathe, because what's one of the things about is that they do that old man, even as psychotic and crazy as he was, that shit that he did in war. That's part of the storyline is the fact that the stuff that he did was stuff that he did in the military, because when you're in war, damn near anything is a play and go. They may have all those rules and shit of war that say that you're not allowed to do this, that doesn't stop soldiers from doing that shit. You're in war, they get away with damn near everything. That shit that he did. That's real military PTSD, real shit. You got to be really careful about that. But yeah, they be all into that shit.
Speaker 3:Nope, didn't have a wife. I figured they issued me a wife. They wanted me to have one. I got it, matter of fact, because we still got to do that review Hell's Paradise, yeah, like with the main character there, where he was so dedicated to his military training, to his training and shit, that dude had to issue him a wife for him to actually have someone and that was it and then, uh, he met up with this chick like I forgot her name, I know it starts with a k, but essentially, uh, she was like hitting on him and shit.
Speaker 1:And then next you know she had, uh, he had her in a lock and she's like I have a wife, yeah exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3:But yeah, like pain, absolutely is just like. He's so dedicated to his thing. Honestly, look the training montages that he put them through hilarious as shit. When he buried them all in the dirt with just their heads sticking out and was watering their heads, my little potato sprouts was like wait, no. I was like no, bro, no. Then the oh, the training thing, when they were just like you gotta get through, he's like they were trying to get through the um, the training in the rain. It's like it's raining, we can't do this. What if it's an emergency? They're like if it's an emergency, like it's not.
Speaker 3:He pulls out a grenade, pulls the pin it is now. And then everyone starts like hot, telling their ass, except Alex, and he's like guys, it's not a, it's a dummy grenade. He turns around shit ain't real. Throws that shit back in the tree, explodes and fucking falls down. Alex jumps into the fucking mud and he's like oh shit, wait, I'm like god damn, pain is that damn deranged, this nigga. He cooked that grenade in his hand the entire time, until the last fucking minute, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Man he bluffing Like it ain't bluffing.
Speaker 3:I don't trust no god damn body that if it even looks like a real grenade and he pulls the pin with his mouth and just lets it cook in his hand, oh, he's on some crazy shit. I need to get the fuck away.
Speaker 1:But you know what that does remind me of the first Captain America movies, where you know the sergeant and whatnot and Steve Rogers thought it was real, but it was a dud. You know the sergeant and whatnot threw a grenade. Steve Rogers thought it was real, but it was a dud. Yeah, and he was like ready to give his life.
Speaker 3:I was like no, it was a fake bro, it was a dumb grenade. Hey man, you got hard, but I appreciate that, and the bad part about it is even him jumping on a grenade also. Just a real thing for people to understand as well too. On a real thing for people to understand as well too. Um, on a real grenade pain throwing that shit still could have caused some damage, just because of how grenades work. People who don't know the reason. Grenades have them squares on the outside. When they explode, those things turn to shrapnel and the shrapnel explodes in all directions. The explosion is not the main thing that kills people. It's the shrapnel that slices through the body and then things can go all the way and attach or cut straight into or through the bone them shit is dangerous iron man, you know that yeah, and so it's like you got to be really fucking careful on those shits.
Speaker 3:So even steve rogers jumping onto it when he was telling everyone to get away, even again with him being directly on it, would have limited the shrapnel, but the shrapnel still would have cut through his body and still could have killed other people around him as well too. So grenades are hella fucking dangerous. And again, pain. Just let that shit cook in his hand like it was nothing, like. Oh my god, who the hell let him cook? Like no shit was, like no, bro. Look the fact that they got so upset that they fucking went scientific, went to a whole lab and concocted a special, extremely powerful laxative, put it in his body and that nigga just had a badass fart. And they were just like, oh, ain't nothing happening? And that boy just passed out. And I'm like, damn G, you're not too clean. They did everything to pain and pain just like took everything like it was fucking nothing.
Speaker 1:And then right, fucking assassination classrooms where they're trying to take out Koro sensei, but he just can't recall their bullshit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the teacher listens.
Speaker 3:And then finally, like Pain finally had that point, he says, fine, y'all really want me gone? Yes, sir. I said do you want me gone, soldier? Yes sir, then bring me that trophy. And literally they got so desperate. They're like alright, sir, then bring me that trophy. And literally they just like they got so desperate. They're like alright, we need to go break into the other school and steal the fucking trophy and shit. And Payton knew that shit. He went ahead and dropped him a bomb, dropped a little telegraph. He said if you were good enough to be able to get that trophy with them, knowing you were coming, I would've left. But that's not what the fuck I meant. I meant win that shit, you damn turd. Wow, like yeah.
Speaker 1:They really Steal the trophy, like no, like win it At a fucking game.
Speaker 3:But also it was all Tiger's fault too, cause Tiger's the one that snitched, cause he ran back crying, cause they told him you can't come, you too little. And then that sparked the it, the whole. This sparked the whole little train that could come and say oh my god, that shit was nightmarish as a motherfucker bro the bedtime story they have to tell you about the little engine that could ain't got no legs.
Speaker 3:He said pain, pain, legs. It's like I'm a different door Pave. I can't feel, bubba, they ain't there Near as town. I'm like seven miles. That way, celeste, you hop on there and start walking on your arms. You ain't gonna make it. And then Charlie all over the place and I had to blast my way out.
Speaker 2:And then they screamed the place and I had to blast my way out. And then that screen, bro, I'm gonna post that scene on on um tick tock. That stream was funny as hell, bro. How can you do all of that with a straight?
Speaker 3:face. Funniest shit, funniest shit. This is what Wayne, the Wayne brothers, the whole Wayne family is so fucking talented. That entire thing was unscripted. That was not supposed to happen. Yes, that was not on the script. He was supposed to tell like a crazy story, but the him going. But him going. Him telling the crazy story was supposed to be part of the script. But him when he said Charlie, all over the place, and then the scream and him blasting, that was Tigers real. That was that dude. That was Orlando's real reaction. That was old girl's real reaction to cover her ears because nobody was prepared for the screen. That was completely fucking unscripted. And then he was saying never catches a live, bam. So when the lady interrupted, that was real, she legitimately interrupted that shit on purpose.
Speaker 1:Whoa, you're being way out of pocket.
Speaker 3:Right and they kept it in the movie. They were like this is fucking perfect, this is gold.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love moments like this, where it's like, after just do some shit that you wouldn't expect, and then it's like, hey, no, let them cook, let's keep them raw.
Speaker 3:Let's keep that shit, bro. Let's keep that shit. Oh yeah, that was one of the best, literally one of the best scenes in the entire movie and the like most memorable in the most like, damn near terrifying. Like god damn, this nigga went through some shit. All of a sudden he went from a little train to the train exploding on the tracks and then all of a sudden he's right back in the middle. He's right back in wartime. You saw he was looking. He wasn't even looking at tiger, no more. If you saw, he started looking up just a little bit. He was looking through him. He was looking at a tilt and invisible TV screen, reminiscing the entire thing. The whole time he was there he was literally losing his fucking mind. The entire time the PTSD hit him quick. It was like God damn bro, what the fuck have you been through? Oh shit, what the fuck have you been through? Oh shit, oh, I'm dying over here. I can barely breathe from laughing so damn hard. That movie is so fucking good though.
Speaker 2:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Oh shit, okay, I'm pretty sure y'all laughing your'all asses off too. I know who is laughing, oh god. And then, oh, the damn nightclub scene. When she invited him out on the date and he was like he said you're barely touching your food cause he sped through his plate, cause all military people know you have a limited time to eat. So I learned about the chow hall thing because tuck knows this. You know this, tuck. But, um, because I got some other friends that also ex-military, I got both my brothers. Um, well, my oldest brother is retired military but my little brother, he's still currently in the military right now.
Speaker 3:Ch Child hall is bullshit because you're arranged based on your alphabet of your name and so, literally, the person who has the longest amount of time to eat is your commanding officers, and the people at the very front of the line whose last name starts with the letter A, them the ones that get the longest time to eat. If your name is all the way towards the end, literally when your commanding officer is done eating, you have to be done eating. So if your commanding officer has been sitting down eating his food for all of about 10 minutes and it took eight minutes for you to get through that line to sit down and eat your food. That means you have two minutes to inhale that entire fucking plate, otherwise your ass is going to be hungry for the next six to seven hours. Fucking plate. Otherwise, your ass is going to be hungry for the next six to seven hours and I was like, oh, that's some bullshit. So you have to learn to speed eat your food.
Speaker 3:So then also imagine Payne. Payne is a major, he is the commanding officer, he can sped through his plate in 30 seconds. Everybody else is like damn, I ain't even got time to eat my food and you already done. Saying you ready, all right time to move on to the next squad. Like wait what? No, that's one of the reasons I can't join the military. I'm like I can't do it, absolutely cannot do it. No, it's too much, it's too fucking much, I feel you it?
Speaker 1:No, it's too much, it's too fucking much I feel you, man.
Speaker 3:Oh, I hope I didn't bring back no PTSD for you, bro, Because your last name starts with a T.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, bro, I eat fast to this day. On God, bro, I'll be the first one finished at a table bro you know what?
Speaker 1:Y'all reminded me of how our friend Hidden Ninja pissed me off one time to where we were eating out at Denny's right and he kind of assumed that I'm one of those protagonist type characters. He kind of assumed I was supposed to be eating all fast and shit and I was like no, we're talking, I'm not in a hurry. Are y'all in a hurry? Because if we're talking Like I'm not in a hurry, are y'all in a hurry? Because if we're in a hurry I can speed it up. But otherwise I'm like yeah, we're just talking and shit, like I don't have to Eat super fast. But nah, he's almost acting like he's disappointed. I don't eat fast, I'm like, hey man, like I enjoy my food, like I can take my time, like it ain't that is.
Speaker 3:It's a lot of military folks. It is, though, bro, and I understand what you mean by head ninja, but you also understand his family, because literally most people from when we grew up was military. Like, dallas is a military retirement town, so it's a lot of military folks there, so a lot of military kids, and them parents don't let that shit up Like, my mom kept military rules. It was the reason that both my brothers went into the military, because they were so fully ready and prepared with it, but I understood military rules and said, nah, that ain't for me though. I am staying in the civilian life, I will pass on that, but you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, looking against the military life is just not for me.
Speaker 3:And I appreciate the fact that when you have movies, you have good movies like Full Metal Jacket. Those movies they highlight the darkness in the military in a very dark tone. It lets you know real shit. But then Major Pain lets you highlight the military, the darkness in the military, but in a good humor status. It allowed you to still have fun in that aspect. In that regard, I know Major Payne was literally a promotional thing too.
Speaker 3:Major Payne, the movie did so well. I think it was the army wanted to use it to help recruit people into the military. I'll be honest with you, I think it was the army wanted to use it to help recruit people into the military. I'll be honest with you, I think they were pretty successful because during that time when that movie came out, rotc in schools skyrocketed. People was joining left and right because their parents were getting them kids into it. A lot of people wound up recruiting into it. That movie wound up unintentionally putting our military even higher on the map than it was at the time when it came out, because so many people went in at that point, because everyone had the mindset that it was fun. I'm going to just leave it in that regard there, but still.
Speaker 2:See what we have not failed to communicate that part.
Speaker 3:And then, finally, you know, we get to the end of the movie, after all the montages and everything to continue running. You know, payne finally gets closer to Miss Wahlberg, even letting her blow on his whistle, which he was very reluctant about and he wiped that shit off.
Speaker 1:Okay, I see Bro.
Speaker 2:He gave her a present. He said I want to give you something. I want to give you a present. It's from my heart. She said oh, it's so cute. What is it from my heart? I dug it out with my field knife. It was like get away.
Speaker 3:What the fuck. To me personally, in all honesty, I'd be like yo, bro, this is special, it's real special shit. You dug it out your heart, you kept it this whole time. You feel that I'm special enough for you to give it to. Oh, bro, I appreciate that's. That's a real thing, for real. Like that, if you get something like that, that person literally says that's a wild animal saying I want to make. That's a wolf saying I want to make with you for life nobody else.
Speaker 1:I mean not to like discount or anything, but like you know how some people have those weird things that they collect. And then it's like you know what I want you to have it. You know like how someone will find this special rock. You know, like some, some folks like like collecting rocks and I was like here you can have this rock. And I was like thank you. And I was like, um, my dude, you do not understand the significance, the sentimental significance of that rock, because my boy would upset over that rock for however long I've known him.
Speaker 1:So the fact that he gave you. That's a big deal, man. He must be really digging you, man.
Speaker 3:Exactly. That's the real shit, bro. They trust you with that.
Speaker 1:that means they literally love your ass that's like a dude, where you know how some folks be all paranoid to where, oh, let me see your phone if you're not cheating. And now it's like, okay, here you go. I was like, wait, just like that. I'm like, yeah, you know what, I'll just punch in the password too. And then I was like, okay, here you go. And I was like, wait, just like that. I'm like, yeah, you know what, I'll just punch in the password too, go ahead. And I was like, so you're just going to let me run through your phone. I was like, yeah, I was like, so you got nothing to hide. I'm like, well, I wouldn't have anything to hide from you.
Speaker 3:I promise I'll be throwing certain people off. Onto that too. Like I will be honest, it was kind of a thing for my ex. Onto that too. It was always an expectation. I had something. Let me see your phone. Alright, here you go.
Speaker 2:I really wish. I was looking at the Japan quotes up, bro, and use them on all my soldiers bro.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, oh my God. They would have all appreciated you, because they all would have knew the references anyway.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee when my knee will quench your thirst.
Speaker 3:That was the. That was the one of the coldest lines in the whole movie, because that was that one that everybody was like god damn wait. And then they finally made it to the military games. At that moment we did get our little plot device that happened, that whole little what if? Scenario where Payne finally gets called to go back to war again and now he's spent so much time as a commanding officer to these boys and raising these boys.
Speaker 3:He had to really make that choice of whether or not he was ready to go to war or not. But then understand that this was his last choice. In it too, he was not going to get offered again if he declined, which I thought was some real shit. I was like bro, damn. So he's like you either take this or it's gone forever and you're stuck in your position that you're at forever. You will never get another opportunity. And it's like damn, hit that shit hard like that. But honestly, that is very real because my eldest brother he's out the military right now. But it was also on some bullshit. I personally feel into that, but I don't. I'm not in the military, so I don't fully.
Speaker 3:He wound up missing his promotion. That was the one thing. He wound up taking exam. He wound up missing his promotion just barely and he was not given a second opportunity. As soon as he missed his promotion they let him know he was going to be discharged from the military within a certain timeframe and that was it. And he's well off, much better now. He's got a job that pays much higher than he did back when he was in the military.
Speaker 3:He was, he was a high-ranking officer, but it was still that point of like that's real shit. In the military a lot of times you're only giving an opportunity one time and that's it. If you don't take it, you're stuck where you're at and it's like as a kid I never really paid that much attention to that moment until it happened to my brother. So I was like, oh, that's, that's actually real shit. Okay, damn, damn. Like yeah, military they don't believe in second opportunities. Come around, it's only one and that's it. You either take it or it's gone forever. So I was like, okay, so once that, once I understand that now it makes that moment a hit a lot harder, because as a kid even watching when we were younger before you knew that it still kind of felt that moment you're like, damn, he really drove that in home. And it's like, okay, he's having to choose to go back to what he was used to when he enjoyed or enjoy his new life. But you don't understand the impact of it. Until you really understand that moment you're like, oh, okay, this literally is a forever, forever rest of your life impact.
Speaker 3:So he was discharged from the military. He never. He's now out of the military, he's a veteran now. So it's like, oh, gotcha, um. But he still chose those boys and that's a real thing because they were just like no, he ditched us, no, whatever. After they finally graduated from turds to maggots. Because, tuck, I know you got it, congratulations, you're now no longer turds, you're now upgraded to maggots, just yo Yup. Well, good lord almighty. So he did choose them and still wanted to meet them at the military games, as they barely made it To the final round, and that I was so mad. What was the dude's name? The one that defected and switched schools.
Speaker 1:Dotson.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when he tripped Alex and caused him to to twist his ankle, sprain his ankle real bad and shit. That was real fucked up. That was real fucked up and a lot of people was like how is it that they don't get disqualified for that? Because then all of a sudden they're about to get disqualified. All of a sudden Madison School's about to get disqualified because they beat this kid. They beat, beat the other people up, but you're not going to disqualify the fact that he, clearly, in front of everybody, clipped that boy and sprained his ankle.
Speaker 3:You had a medical ops right there to assess his ankle and said, yeah, it's sprained, he cannot be on it. That wasn't just some running shit, that was bullshit. But you know y'all always got to pick their favorites on that shit too. Plus, because Major Payne wasn't there to back them up, there wasn't too much they could do. But once he finally showed up, they were able to stay in the game and it took that moment, you know, for him to kind of come back and then accept the fact that he did wind up actually choosing them over his old life. I want to hear you talk about this one the final call with the rifle, the honorary rifle stances the. What With the rifle stances? The final round.
Speaker 2:Oh, when they were doing the movements. Yeah, oh man, some of that is real, some of that isn't real, but it was pretty dope. The facial movements, all of that was so freaking dope. Actually, this came, was it around the same time when Cadet Kelly came out, Cadet Kelly and out Cadet Kelly and Major Payne bro, they had some great facial movement. Was that around the same time?
Speaker 1:Hold on hold on Major. Payne was 2002? No, no, it was 1995. Hold on, so let me see Cadet Kelly. It took me around that time, hold on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe I just watched them around the same time.
Speaker 1:Hold on Major Payne was 1995. Cadet Kelly was 2002.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty good. But both of those had significant impact, bro. I ain't gonna lie to you, I did want to join the military to be on the drill team, bro. When I discovered I could not be on the drill team, bro, I was so fucking hurt and mad because I wasn't tall enough. Hold up for real. Yeah, I am so sorry 5'10 or above.
Speaker 3:Damn.
Speaker 2:That's some baby back bullshit.
Speaker 3:Damn. I am so sorry bro.
Speaker 2:I did so much specialized stuff in the military but I couldn't do drifting because I ain't tall enough bro it's like having them rise.
Speaker 3:You can only ride this ride when you this tall and then like people who can't get taller than you this all I got.
Speaker 2:This, the only body I got man, you know and you know how crazy it is.
Speaker 1:nowadays they want dudes that's like six foot tall or more and I'm sitting here like, well, dating's going to get kind of tricky for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, crazy, crazy Crazy, but yeah, it's like military. It's just as bad as not dating.
Speaker 2:Crazy crazy, but yeah, it's like military it's just as bad as like shout out to Tiger, bro, he was leading him.
Speaker 3:Do that do that, go Tiger, do that. Do that get down, do that he done. Hit the mic to that so oh, bro, that final sequels was amazing.
Speaker 2:Though that final sequel was so good though it was that and I know we ain't talking about that, but that and Cadet Kelly bro, that was very much impactful it was it really was, and so yeah, and then they finally win.
Speaker 3:They get that. They get that trophy, and then Tiger gets. Tiger winds up getting upgraded, and so yeah, and then they finally win. They get that trophy, and then Tiger winds up getting upgraded, he winds up getting his own promotion and Alex winds up getting a whole new. They get more squadrons in because now they won, more people want to join the ROTC program. And that dude with the dog at the end, oh my God, you said. And what the hell is that? Oh my god, you said. And what the hell is that? My dog, sir. I can see it's a dog. Why do you have it? Because I'm blind, sir. Can you tell that I'm blind? Is that COU and Cujo giving me some information? I know how to solve that. Y'all feel bad? Go tell mom, fetch me. My field knife Fucking shaved the dog To a horse like no Fuck the damn dog.
Speaker 1:Bro, I like that laugh he does. It's like what are you doing?
Speaker 3:He, yeah, he just did the most random fucking voices.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it was a great movie bro. Oh god, it was a great movie bro.
Speaker 3:It's such a fucking great movie From beginning to end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the quotables just man Dwayne's show. Know how to make a funny movie? Yeah, they really do.
Speaker 3:They made several. They made several fucking funny ass movies Like Don't spit, like you're juicing what's the one with the long ass title? I can never fully remember that. Several fucking funny ass movies Like don't spit like you're juicing what's the one that has a long ass title?
Speaker 1:I can never fully remember that Don't be a man to society.
Speaker 2:Don't be drinking your gin and juice. Don't be drinking your juice in the hood.
Speaker 3:Yeah, god damn.
Speaker 2:Break yourself fool.
Speaker 3:Hurry up and buy. White chicks and there's some Dwayne's at. Oh yeah, chicks, the Wayans are wholesome. Oh yeah, the original scary movies. Where's your?
Speaker 2:refrigerator cuz.
Speaker 3:Oh God.
Speaker 3:Ain't no party like a bad nigga party because a bad nigga party don't stop, oh bro. And then the family is very wholesome, like the family literally has given back to so many different communities. Literally they're not even marked as one of the richest families because of the fact that they don't retain most of that money like they pay their actors, like people who are in their movies. They pay them, they make sure that everyone is well off. They take care of the families. They take care of neighborhoods. They've helped rebuild several different neighborhoods and you don't even realize exactly how many there are, how many siblings there are. I think it was like what? Eight.
Speaker 1:That's a lot, I think one of them was in there.
Speaker 3:Damien.
Speaker 2:Williams.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got Damien Marlon and like it's so many of them, but all of them hella fucking talented. Literally there's nobody that says anything bad about them. They are all the most humble family.
Speaker 1:And then when you hear them in interviews and shit like that, they're always like having fun, even when they talk about serious moves, like they have had serious moves where they cry oh I remember when, uh, the whole kat williams thing was going on to where they made it sound like, uh, because you know, uh, kat williams talk about, um, dudes and dresses.
Speaker 3:And marlon took that personally and I'm like, bro, nobody was talking about you, bro, like we weren't saying nothing about you and white chicks but it was well, because it was one of those ones in life they would the only, they were one of the few people that did it successfully yeah like there's not many people that like them and tyler perry are probably like the only black people I could really say they did it successfully.
Speaker 1:I think he did try to get on Tyler Perry's case Either him or Monique.
Speaker 3:I think it was Kat and Monique, it was Monique. Definitely Monique had a big issue with Tyler Perry and Oprah because there was a whole big thing between them. But yeah, when it comes down to the Waynes, they are always such humble people, like they they are, they do so much, they do so much good, I think actually. Yeah, we talked about that when we did the cat williams special, when we had did our review on to it. I think me and skip was talking about that, about the fact, like the waynes like she's the one who brought it up like the waynes, you don't hear nothing bad about them, you know.
Speaker 3:It's like, yeah, they really are good yeah, like y'all good like we ain't got no problem with y'all this is true, but I mean to be honest.
Speaker 1:We pretty much quoted the whole damn movie I mean, yeah, like that's just the thing with major pain. It's just pretty much full of quotables yeah that's what see. That's why I said we Janko Unchained to where I can definitely remember at least 80% of the movie in my head, without even having to watch the movie, because it's so quotable. You can easily remember the movie.
Speaker 3:Major Payne. You remember that whole movie. You can play that whole movie in your head left and right, just from beginning to end.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Y'all got anything else y'all want to add on to Major Payne before we close this out.
Speaker 3:Look, I don't know if you're going to do a grading onto this one, but I have an A+. Absolutely Cross the board.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to touch the grading.
Speaker 3:We had some great moments that were unscripted. That made the movie even better, and it was already fucking great. Excellent how they did the kid actors as well too. Everything felt real. In fact, some of those kids actually do actually work in ROTC or came from military families, so some of their acting was pretty real because they actually knew how to do it. So excellent callbacks onto that one, and almost all those kids wound up having really good careers. Onto that one and almost all those kids wound up having really good careers afterwards. I say almost all. Orlando was still praying for him, but um but no, like A plus rating for me all across the board, everything yeah, I would say A plus too, because honestly I can't say there was anything wrong with this movie.
Speaker 1:It was, um, perfect as it is. Um, speaking of, yeah, I was trying to think of something about uh, pimps, oh, yeah, uh, how I know this like sort of nerdy news not really nerdy news, but more like I keep hearing, uh, more and more people's like leaving hollywood or taking a break from acting, and it's just kind of getting crazy to a point to where now we're just getting to this point, to where it just seems like the age of celebrities is starting to die out. So it just seems like everybody's just trying to take a break from acting or just leaving altogether. And crazy enough, like, like I can't even fault them or I can't even be mad because uh, only because, like it just seems like, uh, kind of like what, uh, what dave chapelle was trying to do for a while, to where it just kind of feels like with celebrity, uh dodging all these different laser beams, to a point to where it just seems like, uh, one way or another, uh, eventually, um, some scandal is gonna go out about you, like you know how we hear about, uh epstein's island and uh what be going on at those ditty parties. So it's like man, sometimes you just may never know what Some of these celebrities be up to Behind closed doors. So it's like Almost to a point to where, hey, man, if you're famous, that's cool and all.
Speaker 1:But I would say, if you're gonna be famous, have an extra strategy already Locked and loaded, because you may Never know when that stardom's Gonna die out and sometimes people will do whatever it takes to keep that stardom. But I'm like, bro, like you know how they say, you have, like what, 15 seconds, 15 minutes of fame. So you know, enjoy it while you have it, but once it's gone, you know, exit gratefully. But, yeah, hoping that Orla and the Brown, you know, exit gratefully.
Speaker 1:But yeah, hoping that Orlando Brown turn things around and all that other shit, hoping that the Wayan family keep putting out some good shit and hopefully we'll get some new great movies, because honestly, I am getting kinda sick of the dog shit. Like, I'm getting kinda dog shit, lady, lady, but it's been kind of hit and miss at the same time, to where it's like maybe once or twice out a year we might get a really good. But uh, you know what. That's all I had to say, with that being said, let's go ahead and close this one out. Uh, thank you for listening to us. Ladies and gentlemen, have a good day, good afternoon, good night, at wherever, whenever you're watching this and listening to this, and you know, just take it easy.