Helping Women Discover Their Inner Bad Ass with Ad Agency Vet and Success Coach Laura Honeycutt

Laura Honeycutt is a sought-after mindset and leadership teacher and speaker on a mission to put more women in powerful leadership positions they deserve by unleashing their power.

Laura excelled in a 25-year career in the cutthroat world of elite advertising agencies, despite navigating a system of bias against women while carrying a fierce case of imposter syndrome. Stressed out and burned out, she worked with a coach to completely transform her life.

Now she is a certified coach who helps the world's badasses fiercely believe in themselves, define success on their own terms, and kick ass in their careers and lives.

https://www.coachhoneycutt.com

***************************************************************************

If you'd like to talk to Terry McDougall about coaching or being a guest on Marketing Mambo, here's how you can reach her:

Website: https://www.terrybmcdougall.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terrybmcdougall
Email: Terry@Terrybmcdougall.com

Her book Winning the Game of Work: Career Happiness and Success on Your Own Terms is available at Amazon. 

******************************
Here's how you can reach host Terry McDougall:

www.terrybmcdougall.com

www.linkedin.com/in/terrybmcdougall

Terry@Terrybmcdougall.com

Her book Winning the Game of Work is available at Amazon

Transcript

Hey, dear listeners. It's Terry McDougall with marketing Mambo. And have I got a treat for you today? It's my guest, Laura Honeycutt, who survived a 25 year career in advertising. Actually she thrived during that time, but it did lead her to her current career of being a success coach. She works with bad-ass is to unleash their unlimited personal potential. 

Wow. That's a mouthful. And she's going to talk to us about what she actually does. I think that all of us have a lot more potential than we actually give ourselves credit for. And we're going to learn a lot from Laura and how she helps people tap into that. We always have the opportunity to show up a little bit differently. 

To get different results. If you find yourself in a place where you're feeling stuck and you're not sure what to do differently. Go out to my website, TerryBMcDougall.com, and set up a free no obligation exploratory call. To see if maybe working with a coach, like me could be helpful to you. 

Even if you decide that you don't want to work with me, a lot of people come away from the call with just a lot more insights about what they could do differently to get different results. So go to TerryBMcdougall.com today and set up your free exploratory call. And now without further ado let the Mambo begin.  

Hey everybody. It's Terry McDougall with Marketing Mambo, and I am thrilled today to have as our guest, a great friend and coach and former advertising executive Laura Honeycutt. Laura is the CEO  of Laura Honeycutt Coaching in her coaching practice.

She helps bad-ass is unleashed their unlimited personal power. Wow, Laura, that's just scratching the surface of who you are. So I'd love to welcome you and give you the space to do a little bit more in-depth introduction of who you are and what you do.

Well, first of all, Terry, thank you so much for having me on your podcast and so happy to be here and share with your listeners. Some of my path that got me to where I am.  I primarily work with, professionals who are really successful at what they do. They're totally killing it in their careers, and that's on the outside, but on the inside deep down, they're kind of shaking in their shoes, wondering.

When they're going to be found out for being a fraud and not really being who they think they are, or who other people think they are. So there's this sense of, constantly being. Pressured to show up and deliver. They really attach their worth to their work and they always feel like they've got to be proving their value.

And that was my story and that is how I ended up here. , I spent a lot of time in advertising my entire first. Half of my life was in advertising about 25 year career.  It was really successful. I led teams that created award-winning campaigns and I led teams and initiatives that in some cases, put our little agencies on the map and turn them from a little unknown shop into award-winning and,  industry acknowledged agents.

And then all that time, I was just struggling to believe in my own value. And because of that experience, it led me to what I do now. Because one day I kind of had the realization, well, first of all, I was completely burned out and I finally had the realization, it wasn't going to get any better. And I had to pivot and do something different.

And as I started exploring that and working with a coach myself, I realized. But there was this huge opportunity because I knew I wasn't really alone to influence others and help make the road a little bit easier for them.

Yeah. Yeah. And I know that you don't probably want to toot your own horn, but  I know a bit about your background in terms of, you worked for some of the biggest and most well-known agencies out there, FCB, And a lot of, up and coming, more startup scrappy agencies as well.

So you really know what you're talking about. And certainly I can also relate in terms of, Sometimes that fear of not being good enough, that drives us. Right. And so that's actually what enables us to be successful because we're not going to be outworked.

We're constantly at the ready, willing to go that extra mile. But to your point, sometimes it's just not humanly possible to do more. And then what do you do when your tank runs dry?

Yeah, a hundred percent Terry, and I think,  the advertising industry, I started my career at Leo Burnett and that was. What, And back then it was, well, first of all, it was kind of the tail end of the heyday of advertising. So it was a, it was an incredibly demanding. It's still really fun and exciting job with a lot of perks and at that time, Leo Burnett was pretty much at the top of their game.

And of course they're still an incredibly powerful and prestigious agency, but in those days, just to even get in, I mean, my imposter syndrome really started when I got in, because I did not come in through an Ivy league. College.  I already had just about a year or so of experience in a marketing channel that was attractive to them.

And that's how I got the job. So, coming in to begin with, it's like, look at me here with,  with my tiny little liberal arts degree, among all these bad asses who went to Ivy league and big 10 universities, right? Like all of the big names. And so it starts. Right away. Like I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough to

be here. I just got lucky. 

I'm fulfilling them. When are they going to find out? So it's so interesting. Yeah. I also want to  mention this and then we can get more into  the conversation about this, but I know that you, went from working. At ad agencies to working with the four A's, the American association of advertising agencies, which is  the, association that they all belong to.

And that you were the SVP of learning and development there. So tell me, how did that happen, where you went from being an agency to being in that body that not going to say governance, but serves the agency.

Oh, that's a really interesting story. So, because I constantly struggled in my career. I moved around a lot and that's really common in the industry because that's how you move up and make more money. Right. It's just not an industry that promotes people solely on their merits.

And so to get ahead, you're bouncing around a lot, but I was doing it because I was like, oh, you're getting close to finding me out. So I need to get out of here and get somewhere else where I can start fresh. And through that course, I had a period of time where I worked in learning and development for FCB, global.

And it was a great time to do that. I learned a ton and I was really able to apply a lot of my strategic thinking business mindset and how to understand client problems. Was really easily translated to learning and development. Looking at the internal department had some business leaders on where are your pain points and how do I solve them with this product, which happened to be learning and development.

And so I did that for about six years. So that gave me that baseline of experience. Then after that I went straight into digital and back on the account management side and agency. And so it was that combination of learning and development expertise. And industry expertise  and business leadership ability and business development and all of the things that come with being, ahead of accounts at big agencies.

And so I think that just made me really attractive for the role, because what they were trying to do at the time was turn that into more or less a revenue center. For the association. And so they wanted someone who had the L and D chops, but also who could run a business.

Sure. That makes sense. Yeah. So you were at the center of that, you could really do a 360 and be like, okay, I understand what we're trying to do within the four days to develop a product, if you will. And then, you could put on your hat of working within the agencies to understand what, how do we influence them?

How do we communicate with them to understand the value of this? So, yeah. Yeah.  That's really cool. So  I didn't really talk about this, but I've definitely talked about this on other podcasts about how,  I really, really wanted to work in advertising when I got out of college and I had a hard time,  It's a competitive industry and a lot of people want to work in it.

And I just never could get my foot in the door for any opportunities that paid anything above subsistence living and not, I unfortunately didn't have parents who could be like, oh honey, don't worry about it. I'll pay your rent until you make enough to live. So I got my start  in an ad sales department with a publishing company, but.

You know, one of the things that I have observed, I mean, obviously I worked in marketing for my whole career, so I always was on the client side, looking into the agencies and working very closely with people in the agencies. But one of the things I've observed and I know that you have to destroy our coaching.

Like we both coach a lot of people that work in advertising and marketing is that it is such a high stress. Industry and, I'm also, really interested in the timing of when you started your career, because you said like 1993, that was the end of the heyday. What was also the beginning of the internet, right?

People getting into the internet and that's changed a lot. I mean, it's gotten to a point where, the pressures of advertising, but pretty much. Any industry it's 24 7 and it's really difficult to, live up to the expectations, especially if, people are like us, where we were like, oh, I'm going to get found out.

And so I better work harder. I better double down on what I'd been doing. What do you think some of  the biggest challenges and pain points are in the advertising industry?

Well, so Terry having spent most of your life on the client side, working with agencies, you know, that clients have a lot of. And, the agency model, and I will talk about this until people tell me to shut up. I think the agency model over the years has really evolved to be a commoditized industry, right?

And so when you're in that space, like somewhere along the way, we lost that cache of where the idea people, we are the, and I worked for lead agencies. And so, I can still remember those Burnett days. We had a lot of power as an agency and we could tell our clients like, no, this isn't the right way to go.

And they would listen to us, but. It kind of started to change. And that's why I say it was the end of the heyday because it started changing from, having all of this power to say, we will, and won't do this. We're going to go this direction. Listen to us where the experts to. Clients saying, if you don't want to do it our way, we'll just find someone else who can, or if you don't want to do it at this price, we'll find another agency that will, 

Yeah. 

when we get into that place, Terry, like, it becomes incredibly competitive so you're changing. I mean, when I started out, we were on like a. 15% retainer for, like basically for a client's media spends. So they would spend however many million dollars and 15% of that we, it was added and that's how the agency was paid.

And everything that we did was just on a retainer. And I mean, like, retainer's hardly exist anymore. And so, they're constantly negotiating them down so that they're razor thin margins. And so, then what happens. It's really hard to get top talent. And so I think all of that leads to this really brutal place where you feel  there's competition everywhere.

And then there is this pressure to get all of the work done, but the truth is clients are not paying agencies, what they're worth. So, it becomes, really bottom hand. And, you've got a lot of like super junior people and then they don't have very consistent or strong leadership above them.

And so it just starts to really become this grind of work and, you're this forced creativity. And then on top of that, because agency. Have these razor-thin margins and are barely paid what they're worth. They're not going to invest a lot in development of their people.

right,

They want to, and the people want to participate, but then it's like, you've got to show up and be X percent billable.

Because if you're not, that's a problem. And then there's all of these client demands and pressures. And so it's just this total pressure cooker and this complete grind and it's really long hours. And it's like, yeah, I really value this development opportunity, but I can't squeeze out the time for it

because I'm busy. 

Yeah,  I've seen that dynamic and  it's funny because  I was on the client side the whole time, but I've seen a lot of,  just overall de-valuing of the skills. That advertising professionals and marketing professionals bring to the table. And you know, one of the examples that I have is, I worked in publishing and then I worked in a marketing department for.

An insurance broker where we did just tons of very creative, direct mail. And in the early part of my career, we were doing graphic design on boards. You know, it was all, physically doing it. And then we shifted to doing things, electronically. And I think that when the design programs came into being that people started thinking that they could be designers just by buying the software. Right. So I think technology it's been a huge and empower and enabler. And I also think that it has made a lot of people think that you don't actually need to be trained in or have a lot of experience. Like all you need is,  the advertising for dummies book or,  just need to buy PowerPoint and you're a designer, right?

That's not a design program, but I have worked with people who thought it was,  and so I just think that, technology has, in some ways, boiled things down to just its simplest form and  in the midst of it,  true wisdom and knowledge and experience is,  it's been sort of kicked to the curb and. And  I agree with you. I about what's going on within the agencies. I mean, it's almost painful sometimes to coach people, because there's such a fear that if they slow down for even a second, that they're going to get chewed up. Right. And yet what they're doing  is literally not sustainable and.

A lot of times coaching people who are lower in the organization and as I'm listening, I'm like, man, does your boss have a gun? You know,

Oh all the time.

good. Cause I'm like, man, there needs to be like a wholesale revolution within some of these organizations to re imagined. Because it's not sustainable, it's just absolutely not sustainable. And also when people are leaving because they just can't take it anymore. I mean, what does that say about, the sustainability of the agency itself? Not just of the individual.

Oh 100%. I mean, Terry, I was on the inside. It was in an HR function in an agency. And I know that the recruiting budgets were far bigger than the development, but. 

Yeah, so interesting.

just, it's like, we've just kind of resigned ourselves to the fact that this is a high churn industry. And so we're going to plan for it.

Right. And we're going to plan for those, recruiter fees and all of networking and everything that we have to do to find. Talent, because we know they're going to be churning right. Instead of, oh, Hey, what if we were to invest more in development, including giving people the space to incorporate it into their day so that we can retain them, because they're just generally happier, right?

Yeah. It's so interesting.  I'd say probably five or six months ago. I interviewed some other coaches who all had advertising and marketing, backgrounds, and, you know, I. Never worked on the agency side. I was always on the client side, but I did observe, uh,  little into my career that, when Friday came along and somebody came and said, Hey, you know, we need this rush ad done by Monday that, I was calling the agency and being like, Hey, it's four o'clock and I'm calling you.

I need this by Monday, I was going home at five o'clock. They were going to be staying late or coming in on Saturday or Sunday to finish that. And Julie Brecken Felder who was on that earlier episode, she said, well, you know, Terry, for things to change, maybe we should just say no to those kinds of things.

exactly. 





Honestly I said to her, had you said, no, I would've just gone to the people in the organization and said that, they can't get us done by Monday. They can get it done by Tuesday afternoon or whatever, you know? So  it's interesting. I think that there's a lot of fear that's involved in terms of like setting boundaries and fearing that we're going to lose these clients if we say no.

And that's back to the commoditization, right? Because there is a great fear because of a lot of clients are working with multiple agencies and so it's like, well, if you can't get it done, I'll find someone who can, or I'll just, do it in house. And again, back to the, there's no respect for expertise or craft.

It's like, oh, I can do that. You know, we can just do that ourselves. And so, you don't have that air cover from the agency leadership as you go up the totem pole, right. To you, it's like, if you don't think you're going to be backed up by your management, then you just have to make it happen.

Right. Because otherwise it's going to be an even bigger problem for you if you set a boundary, but Terry, a big part of that is, when I talk about boundaries, that is really hard. So I think this industry, first of all, attracts a certain type.

And in fact, that's why I see so much imposter syndrome in that industry because, you know, I mean, this is where my background is. So that's where my network is and where most of our clients come from. And, it is the kind of industry that  attracts a person with a really high work ethic, a person who is comfortable in a fast pace and really, I don't know,  it really feeds into that type of person.

Who's willing to give up a piece of themselves for the sake of the work and. When you're in that place, you feel this strong sense of, again, it's like, I am worthless if I cannot deliver what is

being asked of me. And it doesn't matter if what's being asked of me is completely ridiculous.

It's just like, whoa, you've got to do it. And, Now with, like you were saying with social media and media of any kind it's 24 7, we're on a 24 hour news cycle. Things are always going on clients kind of fall into this belief that they own. You. And so if something goes haywire on social media at eight o'clock at night, when I should be having dinner or putting my kids to bed, well, I've got to jump when my client calls my cell phone and says, right, you're in charge of our social media.

And it's like, well, no, I'm a person who has a life and you're not paying. To be on 24 7. You couldn't afford it if you did. 

So, 

 I always say that when you don't enforce boundaries, there's fear there, right there is you're there you are going to be cast aside in some way.

There's fear that you're going to get in some kind of trouble or that you're going to be seen as invaluable in some way. And because of that, you will do whatever it takes to deliver. And I just think the industry really attracts that kind of person.

Yeah. You know, I think it's really interesting. I. Work with people in advertising and marketing, but I work with people in other industries as well. And I actually think it's that. High achiever that, you know, oh, wanted to do more and more in school. And then they're like, Hey, I if I do this, I'm going to be successful.

And they go into the workplace and they're like looking for the opportunities to get extra credit and all of that. But the interesting thing is that, okay, when you're 18 or 22 or 25 or whatever, that's fine. Right. As life goes on at some point, you should be able to give yourself permission to get off that ever increasing, speedy treadmill, right.

And things like. Illness, Starting a family, wanting to do other things with your life. Like all of these come in, like when we're young, our focus is really like for a lot of us it's to, do well in high school so we can get into a good college and then do well in college so we can get that good job.

But at some point, Should we be able to give ourselves permission just to live our lives and not have to constantly be chasing that brass ring. That's just a little bit out of our grasp.

 Oh, yeah. So true Terry. I mean, I did not even marry until my late thirties because my career was just so demanding and such a major part of my life. and so, I was one of those women that that's the path I took and I know quite a few women still in their forties and even fifties, who've never married.

And it was just, they were slaves to their career. They were married to their career. The women who did. And decided to have families. I have constantly lived in this place of guilt and an inadequacy on both sides of their life. Right. I'm giving up something at home to show up at work and I'm giving up something at work to show up at home.

And I am constantly feeling. Not good enough either way. I'm not a good enough mother because I couldn't make cupcakes from scratch for the school bake sale, or because I couldn't be there to pick up my kids after school. And I'm not good enough at work if I have to leave because my kid is sick and someone needs to pick them up from school and take care of them.

And so there, there is just especially on working parents.  It is like a whole extra level of stress and feelings of inadequacy.

Well, what do you think the answer to this conundrum is? You know, because work's demanding, right? But do we want to live to work or work to live, you know,

That's right. That's right. Well,  I believe that all of this really comes down to this feeling that it's like  an overly active concern for what other people think of you. Right. I am going to be seen in a certain way, if I don't just fall in line and do it, I'm going to be judged in some way.

If I fall short of whatever the expectations are and, that's what I call  fear of other people's opinions. And it is real and it's not just in the advertising industry. It's really rampant in our culture. We care so much about what people think of us and how we are viewed and how we are perceived.

And of course, that. Reasonable because that's in our DNA as human beings,  it goes back millennia to when, if you didn't get accepted, you were kicked out of the tribe and it was a very scary world outside of the cake. Right. And, and so, naturally it's just part of our wiring to be concerned about that, but.

When we give too much emphasis on what everyone else is thinking of us, that's how we're giving our power away. And that is when we actually start making decisions from this place of complete inauthenticity, because  instead of going internally and saying, okay, Why do I really think I needed to do here?

What is the right thing? You know, what feels true to me? You're going. Well, if I do it this way, they might think this. And if I do it that way, then they might think that. And we're like playing out all of these possible scenarios in our head instead of just listening to our internal wisdom. And you're never going to make the right decision that way, because you know what ends up happening.

You're never. Right. Because you're just guessing in the first place. And then you just start going down a cascading path that is going to get you to a place that you look up and suddenly you're like, what happened? How did I get here?   

I'm exhausted. from ruminating over all of the possibilities. And the reality is that you can't please everybody anyway. Right. As I was preparing for this episode, I was looking at, your description and I'd love for you to break this down. It's like, what do they call it?

Like in an English where you are diagramming a sentence? You know, I was never good at that, but, I loved your, statement about what you do, that you help bad acids on leash, their unlimited personal power. And I would love it. If you would break down. That acids unleash unlimited personal power because all of that I was reading.

I was like, wow, I'm getting super excited. Just reading that sentence.

Well, okay, so bad-ass says,  I cannot tell you how many. Incredibly senior and very powerful and effective executives. Who I would define as bad-ass, as don't really realize that they are in fact, badass is, a bad-ass to me is just someone who's really killing it. Right? Like, you are really good at what you do.

You are really smart and effective and intuitive and perceptive, and you are. At the top of your game. And so that's really how I define a bad-ass. And when you really stepped truly into your bad-ass Surrey, a big component of that. Not giving an F what other people think of you

and really, really just standing in your power, which is kind of a coach cliche, right.

Stand in her power. What does that even mean? Well, it means sometimes saying no, when you might be inclined to say yes, because you're afraid, or sometimes, Shutting things down, even though the work isn't done, because you know that taking care of yourself and your energy is always going to be the best decision for you and everyone else too, for that matter.

So that's the bad-ass part. Unleashing is really, I truly believe that we all have this store of power within us. I mean, as human beings, it is truly remarkable. How powerful we are and what we're capable of. And even some of the most conscious of us are only scratching the surface of what our true ability is.

I heard Deepak Chopra do, an interview with. Where he was having her move a stream that was dangling from her fingers with her mind back and forth, front to back and a circle clockwise and so on and not saying anything, but just looking at that and focusing on it and moving it. And I'm like, I'm going to try that and see if it works.

And it works. It's crazy. And it's like, holy crap. Like I have that kind of power. What else can I do? Right. And so that's the unleashing, right?  Like you and I were both trained in coaching school that clients have all the answers. Your job is not to give them answers.

Right. Your job is to draw the answers out of them because the belief is it's in there somewhere.

You just got. It kind of clear the cobwebs a way to get to it. So that's the unleashing part. And then the power, I think I've really kind of already addressed it's just the ability within you to create what you want out of your life, regardless of anybody else.

Really stepping into that and owning it and harnessing it is life-changing. And fortunately for the two of us, we figured that out, it took us an entire career to do.

Yeah,

All right, but we figured it out. And, so it's like, okay, great. So now that I figured it out, I can accelerate that within you and help get you there.

And, you were on the other side of that, you were going to experience a kind of free. And passion and joy that you didn't think was even possible. And so that's how I would break all of that down.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. And as you were talking about it, what I envision, and I've actually used this image, There's a center, right? And there's an incredible amount of power there. It's almost like, a nuclear reactor or something. Not that we want to jump into a nuclear reactor, but there's a tremendous amount of power at that center.

And most of us are just standing on the sidelines, watching that right. And not stepping into it. It is our. Birthright to be there to be connected to that. And  it is really interesting. I agree with you completely about the power of no, and yeah, there's going to be consequences, but you know, you'll get to a point where there's the incredible power of not giving a crap about what other people think.

And, if you  think about the people who have made incredible things happen, They played big. They haven't played small, they haven't submitted. They've believed that there's something valuable about their perspective. And they've been willing to, withstand slings and arrows. But I also think that whenever you stand up that other people, a lot of times will step up and be like, Hey, I feel the same way.

You know, like we can find that, and we can find those fellow travelers if we're willing to allow ourselves to be seen, which is really, really quite beautiful. So I know we talked a lot about imposter syndrome. Is there anything else that you wanted to, add about that?

One thing that I would say is, and this is where I see it coming up in the leaders that I speak with in the industry. Just about any organization, does leadership training of some sort right. And management training. And a lot of that  is very rooted in tactics,  It's like, here's how you effectively delegate.

Here's how you give feedback. Here's how you, manage diverse teams and so on and so on. Right? And that's all well and good. But when I think about imposter syndrome and I really do believe almost everyone has a little bit of imposter syndrome.

Yeah. 

One of the things that surprised me when I learned this is people who are bullies in organizations, who are angry and punitive and it's their way or the highway.

And, you know, they can't ever be wrong. We all know people like that.

We've kind of come to just view them as these assholes, but truly you and I both know there's an energy behind that. That is really earful. And I truly believe that is how we see imposter syndrome and others, but we don't think of it that way.

Cause it's like, how can this person have imposter syndrome? They're walking around like they're God's gift, but the truth is. They're scared to death that they're going to beat a stuffed bird as being a fraud. And so that manifests for some people and that really like bullyish behavior for me, it manifested itself in hiding, right.

Or 

people pleasing, 

hard or 

people 

pleasing. 

Right. Or we're overworking trying the perfectionism. Yeah. I agree with you for a lot of people it's like  that defensiveness. And they're extremely, extremely defended. The reason is they say anger is the mask that fear wears. Certainly I've seen that. And I've also seen, in my career, a lot of times I found that when I was dealing with people that were really angry or aggressive or whatever, if I was able to just be with them and be consistent and not react that, that force field came down.

Right. And then they were like, oh, okay. She's not threatening to me. I can just work with her.

That's right. That's right. And you become 

an ally. 

Yeah. It can be really hard to withstand that. Right.  It's 

just so, so super interesting.

yeah, so it's that inner work. That has to be addressed or all of that other stuff, the delegating and the giving feedback and all of this stuff that we've kind of all managed to get trained on it. It's never really going to stick if you don't understand that if you don't do the inner work to another coaching, cliche, get out of your own way.

Right. And start recognizing, oh, how do I motivate this person? Well, number one, motivation is an inside job. And number two, you don't right? You need to look at how you are showing up as a leader. What is that is impacting that person's motivation because while you can't motivate them, there is something going on there that your at the cause of.

And when you start recognizing,  I talk a lot about radical, personal responsibility. And really owning your stuff and owning your own power and owning how you are showing up in a way that is impacting others and influencing others. And, that's where you have a lot more control.

If you just start looking inward versus looking outward so

It's the only control that you do have. think that all leadership starts with self leadership and, so often, you, and I see it a lot and what people. Come to us at the beginning of the coaching relationship. And talk about like, oh my coworker or my boss or this or that.

And it's like, okay, we can vent, you know, I'll listen. But the reality is that I can't wave a magic wand and neither can you to change your boss or you can't make your annoying coworker start, cooperating with you or whatever the issue is. The only thing that you can do is.

Control how you show up and  it is so interesting how, when people shift their, framing of a situation and to your point about the radical, self-responsibility. When they can shift how they look at the situation and they say to themselves, like, what can I do here? That when they show up differently.

So often it completely changes the  dynamic. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, my boss is treating me differently. And my coworker isn't annoying me as much. And it's just, it's so super interesting.

Yeah. And so it's like, that's just another area where  that power is  leaking out of us. Right. Cause we're just giving it to everybody around us and it's like, I can't get my team to perform at the level I do, but then you're also not empowering them to 

do anything because of whatever reason.

Right. And so it's like when you turn it inward, it changes everything. And that's why a lot of the work that I do with my clients is about, all right, well, let's just start with you first. You know, what's your role in all of this? Where do you think your influencing what's happening? And then. Start to learn all this interesting stuff that reveals how much they really do doubt themselves.

Don't give themselves credit, feel afraid to really stand in that power. And so, on a real. Basic level, almost every client I work with. We just start out by, let's get you in a place where you feel Bulletproof, let's get you in a place where, like, you know that you are good at what you do  and that you are solid.

And when you are there, it changes the game.

Yeah. I think that at the heart of any kind of issue like we've been discussing, is a feeling that they're not worthy. Right. And if we start to believe that we're worthy, Regardless nobody's perfect. Right. But we all are worthy. And when we start to believe that we matter and that what we have to offer can make a positive difference.

It is amazing how things can be different because when we start feeling that we're worthy and then we, Put the boundaries in the right place. Right? Like I don't have to spread myself too thin. I don't have to  kill myself to earn my living that we make it okay. For other people to show up and believe in their own worthiness.

And there's so much untapped potential in all of us that we don't need to work 24 7. We need to like get out of that fight or flight.  And being fearful or angry or defensive you and I both know, cause we were trained in this, you can rise to these higher levels of energy where things can happen so much more easily and quickly than we've been led to believe.

It's not always about having your nose to the grindstone. It could be, waking up in the morning with the, perfect answer to the thing that you've been struggling. 

It does happen. I'm still amazed at how quickly people can reach their goals, how miraculously quickly they can reach their goals when they believe that it's possible.

And then they, get clear on the goal and take action. And you're like, holy cow. I'm even, I mean, I talked to people about how this can happen. I can't guarantee it for anybody, but I've seen it happen so many times and I'm like, wow, this stuff works.

Oh, yeah, I know. Right. It's so funny. And, you know, and the thing is Terry, we don't really stop and process and think about how much time and energy we waste worrying, ruminating, 

Yeah. Being angry, being pissed off 

right. You know, And the venting that comes along with 

right?

Or second or thumb in the corner 

feeling 

sorry for ourselves. 

How many times do you stand around with your 

coworkers and just like add another thing and that thing, and I can't believe our boss is this and that. And it's like, yeah, all of that stuff is just taking you off of being effective and it would be so much easier and so much lighter if you could just clear all of that away.

And that's really a big part of the work that both you and I do.

Yeah, totally, totally. Well, Laura, listen,  I have as always, I love talking with you. I would love for you to share with our listeners where they can find you. And if you've got any offers,   the floor is yours.

All right. Well, thanks Terry. My website is coach honey cut. That's honey, like the bees and cut with two T's dot com. And there, you can find all kinds of resources, that,  just on your own, you can explore and help. Age or journey. One of the things that I have available on my website is my 21 day toolkit for bad-ass is, and we've all heard takes 21 days to build a habit, at least.

And so I put together a nice little kit of tools to help you. Train yourself to live in that space of bad-ass Surrey. Which a big component of that is this self validation tool that I call a gold star journal. And that's just basically collecting all of your gold stars, just like we did when we were little kids.

What are you doing? Right? What did you do that you're proud of today? Even if it's just a little thing. Capturing that. And there's a whole lot of other resources that come with that, and if you commit your practice, For just 21 days, about 10 minutes a day to acknowledging yourself, finding things, to be grateful for, affirmations and, grounding yourself in an inspirational quote.

That's gonna, fuel you through the day. You're going to see some major changes in your life and that toolkit is available on my website.

Okay. Great. So it's, Kotani cut.com.  So Laura, any last words of wisdom for our listeners?

I would just say you're sitting there in the. Really dog eat dog world, thinking that you're alone, you are not alone. You would be amazed at how many people you look at and admire every day. And you think they've got it all together are going home broken every day because they just. don't think they can hang on anymore.

And so it is not hard to change this. It just requires a little bit of practice and discipline and staying focused on it. And if you can believe, like you said, Terry, if you have a belief that you're capable of it and you are, are going to be amazed at how quickly and easily you can start to totally transform your life.

Well, fantastic. So people go out to Laura's website, Kotani kut.com and download that 21 day program . And, wherever you are right now in 21 days, you're going to be feeling like a total bad. Who can unleash their unlimited personal power?  I'm getting excited. I think I'm going to have to go download that, Laura. But I want to thank you so much for being on marketing Mambo. It's really a pleasure to talk to you again.

That was so good to be here, Terry, thank you so much for having me.