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Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
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The Gift of Empathy with Kavita Melwani
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Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like you have too many feelings? Do you pick up on the energy of others very quickly?
And…DO you want to know more about how to lean into the strength and gift of empathy?
Then, get comfy and join my friend and business colleague, Kavita Melwani.
Kavita is a is a Spiritual Success and Business Coach. She is also a mother to two beautiful boys. Kavita is a first-generation American and a serial entrepreneur who has owned and operated various businesses since 2003.
Get ready to dive into all the nooks and crannies of what it feels like to live with the gift of empathy. Kavita takes us into a deeper understanding of the strength of the empath and shows us how to not only look from a new perspective, but to lean into the gift and set yourself up with healthy boundaries, approaches and support.
Enjoy!
Learn more about Kavita:
Check out her website: www.alignedandsoulful.com
Check out her podcast: https://alignedsoulfulsuccess.buzzsprout.com
Recommended podcast episode on Highly Sensitives and Fun - https://alignedsoulfulsuccess.buzzsprout.com/1367260/7095049
HSP Self-test on Dr. Aron’s website: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test
Empath Assessment: https://drjudithorloff.com/quizzes/empath-self-assessment-test/
Program link: "Hiding to Shining: A program for soulful entrepreneurs to consciously create their purposeful, profitable business
https://kavita-s-site.thinkific.com/courses/hiding-to-shining
Free Gift "5 Common Mistakes the Empathic Entrepreneurs Make that keep them playing small:
https://astounding-composer-4161.ck.page/f84ca5b362
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Thank you for listening!
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic, and in alignment with your deepest values. After a decade of coaching individuals from corporate leaders to creative artists to multimillion dollar CEOs, I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire, and it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything. Do you feel misunderstood, like you have too many feelings, or you just feel too much in general? Do you pick up on the energy of others very quickly? And do you want to know more about how this can feel like a burden but is truly a strength and a gift? Then get comfy and join my friend and business colleague, Cavita Melwani. Kavita is a spiritual success and business coach. She's a highly sensitive woman and an empath. She is also a mother of two beautiful boys. She is a first-generation American and a serial entrepreneur who has owned and operated various businesses since 2003. The turning point in her life came when she started to work with a coach to recognize her true gifts and callings. Get ready to dive into all the nooks and crannies of what it can feel like to be an empath. Discover whether this is you, and if you already know this is you, get ready to discover some new ways of looking at this as a woman, a parent, and an entrepreneur. This was interesting to me because while Cavita and I have known each other for some time now, this conversation was new and I too feel things very deeply, have been curious to understand more of this. And Cavita takes us into a deeper understanding of the strength of the empath and shows us how to not only look from a new perspective, but to lean into the gift and set yourself up with healthy boundaries, approaches, and support. I think you are going to love this conversation and my friend Cavita. Hey Cavita, welcome to differently.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
SPEAKER_02I'm excited to have you, especially excited because Cavita and I met um in the BizChicks Mastermind. And then when we completed that, we continued our own mastermind. And so it's been awesome to get to know you and your business and support each other in our entrepreneurial journeys. And so this is going to be fun. So tell tell the listeners a little bit about you and the work that you do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so uh I have been actually an I consider myself a serial entrepreneur since my first business was in 2003 and have been coaching since 2014. Right now, I am a spiritual success and business coach, and I specialize in empowering empathic entrepreneurs to have purposeful and profitable businesses. And personally, I have been married for 23 years this year in July, and have two teenage boys, one who's going off to college, which is, you know, just preparing emotionally for that has taken some energy and time and really wanting to make sure I spend time with him. Um, so yeah, and I live in Northern California now, although I've lived in other places.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Kavita, we have so much in common. I mean, I just learned just you sharing that little tiny bit that we've been entrepreneurs for about the same length. I have, you know, it's kind of been iterations of what I do today. We both have two boys, right? Mine are a little bit older than yours. And I so remember that stage of our first one uh leaving home and like just wanting to soak up every minute of that time. So I understand that too. So I am especially excited to talk about um empaths, and so why don't we start there? Um, what is an empath, first of all?
SPEAKER_00So that's a great question. And I think a lot of people are not sure about what is an empath. And I do see more um dialogue about just being an empath now than I did years ago. So that's encouraging. So empath is falls kind of under the umbrella of the highly sensitive person, right? So the highly sensitive person is a temperament that's genetic, and it was discovered by Dr. Elaine Aaron, I believe in the 90s. I don't want to give the wrong date exactly. So I'm just gonna say around there. And since then, there's been more research showing that people are born with this trait. Okay. Now I'm seeing people calling it sometimes part of being neurodivergent, and so things have evolved and labels have evolved. But what that means is what she found is that a certain percentage of the population, probably about 15 to 20 percent, have their nervous systems like someone turned the volume up on it. So just the sounds feel, the feelings are stronger. And so empaths fall under that. Now, some people say empaths are not, or not all empaths fall under highly sensitive people, so there's different views on that. But my the way I see it is that an empath has the highly sensitive person traits, and then they have them kind of turned up even more. Okay, and so they can experience the world in different ways. Dr. Judith Orloff is a psychiatrist that has worked with a lot of empaths, and she talks, she has a book called, I think it's uh survival, empath, survival guide. Yes, that's what it's called. And she talks about different types of empaths. So there's empaths that feel things really strongly, can feel other people's energy. Um some people are clairsentient, they can sense, they can see, and so there's different categories, but essentially there's this higher connection to all the energy around us, right? Because we're all energetic beings and the ability to feel that at a level that not everybody can.
SPEAKER_02When did you first have a sense that you were an empath? Like were you young? So I didn't know what that was.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Were you young? Were you was it in a young age?
SPEAKER_00I I I have a memory, you know, we all have kind of snippets of memories from childhood, right? I don't I don't I haven't met anybody yet that completely remembers everything that happened in their childhood, right? Yes, but I do remember the first, yes, you can relate to that, right? So I do remember the first time that um I felt like something was different, right? The way that I saw the world or the way that I felt the world was a little different. Um I remember sitting in my parents' car, must have been like maybe eight or nine years old, and I started, I had a vision, and it was a vision of kind of like just seeing stars, like a universe, and then thinking about well, where do I fit in the universe? And what happens when I die? And you know, things like that. What happens to myself? Do I stop being? And then I saw myself maybe like this image of me going and being part of the universe, and so it didn't make sense right at that time to me. And now I still have vivid, um, I can vividly recall that moment. So I knew something was different then. I didn't know what empath was, I didn't know any labels, I didn't understand. In fact, a lot of the ways that I would show up was not um seen as a good way to show up, right? It's this idea of, you know, suck it up, right? Just sh just show up. I would it would take me time when I went to, and it still does when I go to a social event because uh to kind of uh acclimate and be present in myself and to be able to talk to people. And so you can be often um HSPs or highly sensitive people or empaths are labeled as shy, but they're actually not necessarily shy. It's just that it takes them a while to figure out and feel everything, and then they're present and then they can go and connect with people, right? So those things were not good according to my family of origin, right? You need to be loud and social and present and you know, strong and what they labeled as strong, right? And so that yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's interesting. I, you know, I've been thinking about our conversation coming, and I'm really curious because on on many levels I feel like I have this too, but there's parts that I there's parts that I don't relate to and parts that I like really strongly relate to. And so, and I think what you've said is there are like different levels of this. I I was a very quiet child, I was a shy child. I um was often kind of in the background more observing than you know, stepping up. And I have I feel people a lot, like I feel energy and emotion. And so I'm really curious to learn more about what that is meant for you and how you help people because I do feel like it's a gift, but sometimes it also feels like it can be a weakness or kind of a burden to carry, right? Because you can you can feel so much, and sometimes it's hard to know what to do with that. And often I wonder if I often gauging it accurately too, right? And so it can cause me to change my behavior. And I wonder if my read and what I'm feeling is actually accurate.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, so much in that. So, first, yeah, there's there's different aspects of being empathic that you may identify with, right? It's rare to meet someone that says, Oh, I can I'm empathic on all these levels. And I do think there's a spectrum, right? So for everything in life, really, if you think about it. Of course, right? That's the way I see things. I see it like as a spectrum for everything. And then this idea of discerning first what is my energy and what is someone else's energy can sometimes really be difficult, right? And some practice, and even with practicing and and coming back to yourself and grounding yourself, there still can be some of that there. And so I actually have quite a few energetic um modalities and treatments, treatments, I guess, for lack of a better word, that I use. One of the things that I've been doing regularly for years is acupuncture that helps me ground and be present. Whenever I leave an acupuncture session, I feel like myself again and I'm able to release all that energy. At one point, I'm like, well, one day I won't need the support from others to do this, but we are we are community beings, right? So so what if I need that? I also have been doing a little bit of craniosacral therapy, which is amazing if you can find a good practitioner, but it's all energetic because what we're talking about is on the energetic level, right? Just to help to release some of that. And so I think part of that is kind of like hygiene, right? Go ahead. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Well, I was just gonna say because for empathic people, you're picking up a lot of energy around you, right? So it's like it's discerning what is yours and what is other people's, but it it can like weigh you down, or I mean, you really do have to learn to live with that ability and know what to do with it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love how you said that because it is a strength. And if you let it kind of if you're not conscious, let's put it that way, if you're not conscious of what's happening, and we all get into that subconscious way of functioning in our days. And if you're not conscious of how you're spending your time and energy and of taking on other people's energy, it can be really draining, right? And especially we're givers, we we we automatically show up in a way that we want to help people. So it's like this kind of open heart energy, and it makes you a wonderful coach, right? It makes you really good at what you're doing and your your work in the world, and I think it helps us connect with our children at a deep level, and then it can also create that kind of energetic boundaries being crossed, especially with people that you have that emotional attachment to, like your children and some clients and things. So it's it's really important to come back to yourself and separate that energy and really be clear. You know, it takes it's it's like you have this gift, and and with this gift, there's a responsibility to yourself.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yes, maintain. I love that. I love that. So if people for people listening, how do how do you know if you are this? I I I think you had a quiz or something at one time on your website. Yeah. Do you still have that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So there are sell, you know, they call them self-tests because there's no can there's no real psychological assessment, for instance, right? That's that's official. But there's a self, there's a couple of self-tests, and I can link, I can send the links for people if they want to take those self-tests. One is the HSP self-test on Dr. Aaron's website. And Dr. Orlov has one of like, how do you know you're an empath? Right. So it's a way to kind of just gauge where you fit in, right? And I've had people say, I said yes to everything, right? And then some are like, well, I said yes to most things, but I'm not quite there, right? So again, that's that's just confirmed for me. I know it's not a scientific basis, but this idea that there's always a spectrum to these things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I know for me that sometimes it shows up, well, no, all the time it shows up, and that I have to watch what I take in as far as news or even movies. Like my kids make fun of me because I when I watch a movie, I am literally like in the movie feeling feeling as if I were living whatever is being lived. And so I can get very tearful. I can, I mean, I literally feel like I'm going through the experience and they just make so much fun of me. But is that a typical thing for somebody who is empathic? Yeah. Yes. Can you share that?
SPEAKER_00Because I would watch, um, you know, I I can't watch really the news. I'd love that we have some technology. Yes, the the the news. I mean, it's not the way I look at it for myself is is me watching the news gonna help it get better in the world? Is that gonna change what's happening? Right? No. So I found what works for me and it everybody has their own way, but I will look briefly at headlines just to know what's happening in the world, right? And then I'll just shut it the app. So I like that I can have an app and just kind of look at the headlines and shut it. And then really feeling the characters when I would read books too. I don't know if that's something you experience.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00When I'm reading yes, right? You feel like you're in the book, right? And I can feel and see in the characters and yeah, so movies and um TV shows sometimes, if if if it's if the characters I connect with them, and it can be overwhelming, and I'll start crying, and my kids will look at me like they're not real.
SPEAKER_02You know, like what's so how what do you have to um like share with us when it comes to being a mom and and having this? Like, because I'm sure there are ways that you can also be responsible for that and not put that on your kids, right?
SPEAKER_00Like they yeah. Yeah, so there's so many things about being a mom, right? Already being a mother, right? One of my friends said it this way. I'm sure she heard it somewhere else, but the way she said it made sense to me was it's like your heart's outside of you running around in the world. Yes, right, yes, yeah, and so it feels like that sometimes, or actually all the time. And so then there can be that kind of deep connection with your kids and this deep sense to know what they need and be able to provide that for them. On the other hand, there can also be that potential for what would be labeled as kind of codependency, right? You can't be happy unless your kids are happy kind of thing, and that that's not healthy for us either, right? So that that boundary stuff, the energetic boundary I mentioned earlier, that can be difficult when as a mother, empathic mother, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, because sometimes I I I feel like I can feel them so quickly when they come in the door, right? And yes, yes. And and for me, it's like managing, giving them space and not always saying, Are you okay? Is everything okay? Right. Because that I know in the past has driven them crazy, like, mom, I'm fine. And even with my husband, like sometimes I feel like I can feel something he's dealing with that maybe he's not even like really processed yet. And so it is a when uh I guess it's a knowing of when to um ask about that or be curious about that feeling and when to give them give people space.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. I think, yeah, it can be difficult to know because you want the people around you to be happy and feel good, right? And part of it, part of it is selfish a little bit because we can feel them, right? And of course, there's a big part of it that we just love them and want them to not feel the way they're feeling, right? So there's like both of those. And how do you know when to inter to ask and prod, right? And I've I've I'm sure you have too, I can guess, that I've asked and prodded when they weren't ready and their reaction is not good. So that's happened so many times.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, oh, for sure. And I think sometimes I've done that with my husband, and and then he yeah, he hasn't processed it and isn't even ready to talk about it, and it can be kind of invasive.
SPEAKER_00Right, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02And I can feel so confident that I know something's going on, right? And so I want to care and support and be there, but yes, it's it's definitely there's definitely a boundary there that you have to be responsible for. And I like that you use that word.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's it's kind and what's helped somewhat, I mean, it's this is a work in progress. And I think it'll be a work in progress like for my whole life. It's like some of my lifetime work, right? Is coming up with language together, communication to say, you know, if you're not ready to talk about this yet, you know, you can just say, yes, there's something going on. I'm not sure what it is yet. I need time to talk about it. I need time to process it, and then we can talk about it. Or something like that doesn't always happen, doesn't always work. It's easier with a spouse, with the teenage boys, it's a little bit more complicated.
SPEAKER_02So I was gonna actually ask about that next because as a mother of boys, and for people listening, you know, who have boys and who are empathic, I feel, you know, and I don't know if this is the quality of the empath you can tell me, but I often I crave that deeper connection with people. Yes. And when raising two sons, that's been a challenge for me because I want to know their hearts. I want to know what's going on and what I've learned. Um, Is that boys like to process things and they handle all of at least my boys do handle most of that on their own. And when they talk, it's really important for me to listen. Um, because when they're talking, it's usually something really important. Um, but they don't talk a lot and they don't give a lot of details or juice, you know? And I've had to learn to respect them and the way that they are and take care of myself emotionally without kind of putting that burden on them to make me okay.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah, it is. I I I completely feel what you're saying, right? In the sense of that first part of us is about needing that deep connection. And I have a really hard time with small talk and this it kind of drains me. The small talk that really does it. Yeah, after a while, I'm like, okay, can we just talk about what really is happening in your life? Because that I can do for hours, right? But if you put me in a situation where I have to have small talk and not really communicate, is what I'm hearing you say also, it's harder. And so that is harder with boys. There's a tendency to not talk about what they're feeling, right? And a lot of that's learned behavior and societal behavior, right? And then I will say, at least in my case, my younger son is empathic. I can tell he is, right? And he talks a little bit more now than he did before. So there's that. And he'll start talking and talking and talking about things. Uh and so I I like that. I'm like, hmm, someone that's talking, you know, expressing his feelings. But it's it's I think that a lot of boys are taught at from a young age, subconsciously and consciously, that it's not okay to talk about feelings.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right?
SPEAKER_02So is that an empathic characteristic of wanting that deeper connection?
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, that is definitely there because we can feel things deeply and we know if I'm even not in the room with you, now that we have this technology to be able to connect virtually, when I have a session with a client, which I'm I can guess is the same for you, I connect with that person energetically, right? Even though they're not in the room with me. Yes. So so we lie, we want that. We we want to connect with others. That's where we feel even a better connection to ourselves, right? We feel more present and grounded, and it's like, oh, like, you know, that connection. And then when we're with someone and we can feel something's wrong or something's going on, and they're not really talking about it, and they're talking about gossip or um celebrity stuff or the news and things like that. That just feels like that's really not what's happening in your heart, right? That's just kind of what you are talking about to not feel.
SPEAKER_02It's interesting because as a little girl, like I never really watched TV. I even still today. I'm just never been a TV person. I'll sit down every now and again and watch something with my husband, but it's never something I like am drawn to do. And as a kid, I remember being in school and you know, I'd we'd be on the playground or hanging out at lunch, even in high school, and people would start talking, and I'm like, who, what? And I realize that they're talking about some soap opera or show that I have no clue, I have no clue about. So I I felt very different. Um even as a young kid in that regard, I liked to do different things. I and I I didn't typically um like all of that stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. So you didn't like the things that seem to be fun, right, for other people or how they spent their free time. That's not necessarily how you spent your free time. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that's a really common thing. And and taking that even further for some people, uh, some empaths and sensitive people is that they feel that they have a hard time having fun, right? They're like they don't know how to relax and have fun. Where not always, it doesn't always have to be deep conversations, although for you that might be labeled as kind of fun. Like you actually feel energized and happy when you have the deep conversations, right? So, yeah, so that kind of I I actually had a podcast episode about fun and highly sensitive people and fun, and have since then had to send that recording of how highly sensitive people and fun, like how to have fun and what's fun and why it's important to clients. Because it's like, oh, listen to this. You need to hear about how to relax and have fun, and that your definition of fun does not have to fit what society tells you is fun. Because remember, this society, if we have 20% of people about that are sensitive, and even less of those that are empathic, society is going to go for the majority. Most of the things that are defined as fun, leisure activities are going to appeal to the other 80% of the population, which it logically makes sense, right? So the reality shows, some of them, some of the things that we see. I don't enjoy those. I don't enjoy those things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Sometimes you can fascinating.
SPEAKER_02So fascinating. I I feel like I've gotten more comfortable with um just feeling different and being different and and accepting that and kind of um just knowing that it's uh on purpose, you know, for some reason, right? So let's talk about empaths and entrepreneurs and how has this impacted your journey as an entrepreneur and how you how you know the areas that you work with clients in relationship to this.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. So being an empathic entrepreneur can be if you're you're taking care of yourself and you use your strengths, you can really be successful, right? And of and also be clear about what that means to you. Okay. So that that's also something that's important. Before you go, we're given message.
SPEAKER_02Speak yes, speak to the strengths for just a little bit. I think we've talked about a couple of them, but just I want to make sure people listening can kind of capture those.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So I'll list some of them that I can remember right now. So um, and remember, you may not have all of these. So those listening, right? There may be some that you're like, oh, that's one of my strengths. You have the ability to deeply listen to others, which in this world, especially, most people just want to talk. They don't want to listen, right? So that's a one. That's our deep strength. And you listen in a way where you're not, yeah, it's a gift. And listen in a way that you're not trying to figure out your response, because that's what a lot of people do when they listen, right? They think about, well, how am I going to respond to what they're saying? I'm waiting to say what I want to say instead of the ability to sit there and actually listen.
SPEAKER_02100%. It's such a gift to actually be really heard, right? And that that's a practice too. Yes. I feel like even even though I feel like I have the strength of deeply listening, sometimes I catch myself thinking about what I'm going to say next, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, of course. I mean, we're all human, right? But that that is a strength, right? And that's one. And then another one is being highly intuitive, right? So you have a tendency to have uh be able to sense things and know really what the right next step is you is for you. Unfortunately, we tend to question that because a lot of times other people around us are telling us that that's not true. Like what we sense as maybe the right next step for in our business, right next step when raising kids, right? The society around you will tell you, oh, that's that doesn't make sense. That's not the right way to do things. You're gonna regret that or whatever, right? And so you can question that. And so what can happen with um empaths and sensitive people over the years is you question your intuition. So even though you're highly intuitive, you've been conditioned to not listen to it. So sometimes you have to relearn to listen to that intuition and trust it.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00So, but and that's a strength when you are in touch with it. Another strength is the ability to deeply connect with others and sense what other because you can also sense what they need. So that could be two different tra uh traits, right? Or strengths. You can deeply connect to others in a way that because you can sense their energy, right? You can feel them, you know when they're not, when things are not okay. Um, and so that is beneficial in the world because most people are what is that thing they say, WIFM, the the station that everybody's tuned into? What's in it for me? Yes, yes, yes, yes, right. And so that that is a strength that you can, and then you can also sense what another people person needs. Right. Have you ever had the experience where simple thing, like someone walks into your house and you know that they need to sit down? Right? You're like, I think they're tired. So why don't you sit down? You know, something simple like that, right? There's a you can sense those things when you're in tune.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02I mean, oh yes. Like, I mean, just somebody walking into the room, or sometimes when we're hiking, we've been noticed. My husband and I are like, we'll walk by somebody and we'll like turn to each other and just be like, Did you feel that? Or am I coming? Yes, yeah. But yeah, yeah, you can feel energy and feel a mood or what's going on with them, yes, or what they need.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that sense of just knowing what they need, right? Um, and then I mean, there tend there's a tendency to be really highly spiritual, right? Because you can sense that there's something else, there's more than just this particular body that we're in, right? So you know that there's more. You're like, I just know it. I can't prove it necessarily, but I know it. So there's that that I consider that a strength, and I think a lot of people do. So those are the ones that the top ones that I can think of right now. There are more.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so good. That's great. Okay, so being an entrepreneur, let's come back to that and kind of how it's impacted your journey and maybe what you do differently, right? I think you were talking about um, you know, I know for me, falling into like there's a right way to do business, I went down lots of different rabbit holes over the years thinking that somebody knew better and that I needed a certain training or a certain program or a certain credential. And I always, always, always come back to actually like it's great to gather all that information, but then I always have to kind of come back to my own center and really discern what's right for me. And I feel like that's gotten stronger and more and more important um over the years. But that's that was uh a lot of different diversions in my business because I I thought the outside world knew better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I completely agree and I've had some the same experience, similar, right? We have a lot of similarities in our journey in that, you know, I've I thought the answer was somewhere else, right? And it seemed like everybody else knew how to do this, right? And different people over the over the years, right? Oh, that person seems to know. I'll learn their way. Or I'd hire a coach, and I'm like, they they seem to know what I need and what I'm missing, right? And so I do that. And and so over the years, right, I've had coaches and mentors that are aligned, right? And it really helped me uh grow. Although I'll say every single coach I've hired has helped me grow in some way, right? I agree from the example. I completely agree. Yes. And some have been more aligned than others, right? And so the ones that are really in tune with you and can see you for who you are and your strengths, that's helped me much more. Okay. And the other one is to it, the other coaches that I've learned things from, for sure, right? There were benefits to it, and I've also learned what I don't want. You know, like I don't want to do that. I don't want to live like that. I don't what did I learn? At one point, this has been told to me by actually a couple of mentors and coaches that were that I was not a business coach, right? And we've talked about this. And I had felt years ago that I want to be help people have businesses and especially empathic sensitive people who who also feel like probably like I do, right? They're seeing that there's all these ways, and all you have to have this funnel, and you have to have a Facebook group, and you have to have this and that, and this, you know, all these like technology and all these ways, and you have to have a big team, and you have to have all these things in order to be successful. And I don't think that's true. I'm so right with you.
SPEAKER_02I completely agree. The most recent experience I had of that, I think I shared this with you, but I was just feeling like this nudge to get off Instagram, and I was also very nervous about getting off Instagram because I felt like maybe that's how people found out about my podcast, you know, like new episodes. And yeah, yeah. And then it just dawned on me that, you know, talking about higher power, and I just thought, you know, God doesn't need Instagram. If my podcast is intended to grow, it's gonna grow and it doesn't need Instagram to do that. And literally got off in December, and that was really following that inner nudge, right? That intuitive feeling and trusting that, and have had my two biggest months of the podcast listens, you know, having gotten off. So that was great confirmation to keep to keep following that, right?
SPEAKER_00I love that. How amazing, right? That you felt this intuitively. If you listen to the messages that you probably received, if they would people would tell you, don't do that. You can't get off Instagram, right? You're crazy for doing that. Yet it it works for you. And so I do feel that empaths need to do business in a way that's aligned with themselves instead of listening to everything and all the messages. And you can reach that success that you want, and then also having the definition of what that success means to you.
SPEAKER_02Well, and I want you to talk about that. Yeah, let's talk about that for a minute. Why is that extra important for empaths?
SPEAKER_00It's it's I think it's important for everybody, but more important for empaths because we can take on other people's energy, right? And so, and we want to also please others. People pleasing is one of the kind of downsides of the strengths that we could have, right? So we have these strengths, but if you if it if it goes kind of uh out of hand or you're not managing it or you're not conscious of it, you go into people pleasing. And so you want everybody to be happy. And then so, and so really being clear about what is success for me, why do I want to be successful? And it's always because you want to feel a certain way, right? There's always a feeling that you're going for. So, what is that feeling that you want? And then revisiting and saying, well, what is then if I can feel this way now, how would I structure and create my business? Like you felt like Instagram was not working for you. It was draining, or it's taking your energy away from where you want it to be, right? And so that you you follow that and you went in that direction because to you, success was not defined as how many followers you have on social media, because some people will define it that way, right? And there's those metrics. Um, I've been uh in the past, sometimes you have to apply to be on some podcasts, and they want to know how many social media follow followers you have, how many people are on your email list, right? And all these things that are metrics and judgments to success, which I don't believe are.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I completely agree. I kind of make up my own for that, and it sounds like you do too. And I love that you ask, what is it that you want to feel? Because that's something I ask my clients all the time. What is it that you want to feel? Because most people are just going for the next achievement, right? To then hope to feel a certain way, and then they reach that milestone and don't feel that way, and then they create another achievement to go forward to try to create that. And so I love that because if you can identify the feeling, you can then start to create that right here and now in your life, which leads to which builds momentum, I feel like, around your achievements and those other milestones. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But I hadn't feel until go ahead, no, finish what you were saying, please.
SPEAKER_02I hadn't until talking to you though, like made that connection between being empathic. So that's kind of interesting. Yes. It makes sense why that feeling is so important.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. And you know, feeling is actually the driver why most people function in the world, right? They want to feel good, they want to feel vis, you know. Why do people want followers on whatever platform, if if they're not business owners, let's say, right? Why would you care? Because you want to feel that what it feels when people admire you, right? Whatever feeling that evokes for you. And as an empath, you feel things deep. Every feeling is deep. Okay. And so it's even more important.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I have a friend who used to call me DP.
unknownDP.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Intense. Some people are intense. I remember once, this is kind of funny. I was at a one of my cousins' weddings, and there was a another cousin that I that I grew up with, and he was younger. And he was talking to me, and we were just kind of joking about things, and I asked him about his life, right? Like, what's actually what are you doing right now? Because I wanted to really connect with him. And he had a conversation with me, and he's like, I want to go dance. I'm like, Yeah, go dance. Let's go dance, or whatever. He said, You know, I used to be afraid of you. I was like, Yes. He's he said I was afraid of you, and I said, Why were you afraid of me? He said, I thought that you were kind of intense and that judging and all that, and it was like not true at all. Wow. Right.
SPEAKER_02That's super interesting that it could be perceived that way.
SPEAKER_00It can be perceived that you're not friendly, or that, you know, because you don't want to always go to big parties, and I feel unfortunately, there's there's a lot of our world has become more designed for the loud ones, for the social kind of butterfly person, right? And they get that that it's like that is seen as good more.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Right now, but then there's this under. Underneath this kind of rising up that's happening because I'm seeing more books being written about being empathic. I'm seeing more books being written about even that book Quiet, that was more about introversion, but you know, that kind of piece. So there is that kind of like this coming up from the grassroots, rising, even though the the outside there's a sense of like you need to be louder, right?
SPEAKER_02But this part being you is more and I've always felt like I've built a business quietly, like yes, um yeah, and I I remember years ago um somebody saying to me, like she sent me a quote, and I don't remember who it was by, but it says you can shake the world in a gentle way. And I really like I just I just feel like that. That feels more aligned for me, right? Like just um, and I've had to step out of my comfort zone over and over and over again, right? The podcast being one of those of just to share my voice and to be more visible. But um, it's it's been a journey for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I think having a business, you need to step out of your comfort zone for a lot of things. And that's important. And it doesn't have to be the way that we're told business has to be. That's right. It doesn't have to be that way. That's right.
SPEAKER_02So talk for a minute about aligned support. Like as an as an empathic entrepreneur, why support and aligned support is super important.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. So that's really a great question. And I think it's really important. So I'm glad you asked it today. First of all, I think that entrepreneurs should all have support in some way, whether it's a mastermind group or um a coach that you work with, you know, that that because it can be very lonely to be an entrepreneur in general. And so an empathic entrepreneur having the aligned support, meaning that the the people, if you have a mastermind group, the people in your mastermind group are not trying to make you into the loud one, right? Or not saying that you have to do these things or you have to have, you know, a 10. I just keep the funnel keeps coming to mind because I've been seeing that more and more, but like a 10-step funnel, and you need to have this and you need to have that. The formula in that the formula, right? And if you're in a uh a community or a coaching program or a mastermind where that's what they're teaching, you're gonna you're just not going to be able to do that because it's not using your strengths. It just isn't, right? And even if you do it, it's gonna feel misaligned and it's gonna burn you out. That's just how it works.
SPEAKER_02It burns us out because it takes more energy for us, or why, why does it create burnout for empathy?
SPEAKER_00Because it's it's well, burnout for most people is when we're trying to function in a way that is not natural to us. Right. And so for us, it's not natural to function that way. Functioning for your strengths from your strengths is just gonna feel easier. So you can do those the things in your business and the way that you show up and the way that you market using your strengths, and and then it doesn't feel draining.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00And so just pushing yourself to be someone you're not is draining. It just isn't exhausting. Yeah, it's exhausting.
SPEAKER_02So oh, I spent too much too many years early on doing that.
SPEAKER_00I've done that too so many times, so many years, and still sometimes do, right? Once in a while, I'll catch myself. I'm like, wait a minute, why are you doing this? Is this really what you want to do? Right?
SPEAKER_02So that makes so much sense. So take us into um maybe like one of your favorite places where you support these types of clients, like maybe a favorite place where you've supported somebody, or um, yeah, anything along that line.
SPEAKER_01Hmm.
SPEAKER_02So it doesn't have to be related to support, but just all the things that we've talked about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. So something that's coming to mind to me is that most people that come to me have already tried strategies and they're they're feeling some burnout. They may be ready to either give up their business because they feel like maybe business is not for me, maybe that it's I'm not meant to be an entrepreneur. And so the first part of that is when I work with people is to bring them back to who they really are. Right. So let's bring you back and let's work on those some of the subconscious conditioning that you've had that's told you somehow you're not enough. And then from there have the foundation of your strengths and create a business.
SPEAKER_02Love that. Love that. I mean, I do this similar thing, right? But not in the business related. There's so many um parallels in what we do. And I I love that you go to that foundational level because I think that in order to really help people create sustainable change that really lasts and is, you know, um really like at a root solution, not just like a, you know, a surface solution. It sounds like what you're doing with people is very, very foundational and in the, you know, at the root level so that they can really build something that is way more aligned and fulfilling.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yes. I love that. You put it beautifully. So fun.
SPEAKER_02Okay, tell us what you're most excited about right now in your business.
SPEAKER_00Well, I'm most excited about I'm I've created this really small intimate group for empathic entrepreneurs. I'm limiting, you know, each each kind of community to maximum eight people. Because I want to deeply connect with each person. So I'm creating that, and it includes one-on-one coaching because when I did speak to clients, that's what they all wanted. They don't want to just be in a group where they can be lost.
SPEAKER_02So that makes so much sense.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I'm excited about that because I've wanted to create that for so long, but now it's happening. So it's exciting. Awesome.
SPEAKER_02Where can people find out about that?
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. Okay. So the best place to go is alignedandsoulful.com, my website. I have a free um assessment there to uncover your success archetype. So if you're not ready to kind of you want to learn a little bit more, you can take that uh assessment. It's a free assessment. And then uh on there, you have a way to contact me if you want to find out about the program. And so all of that's there. And I can provide a link directly to that as well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Perfect. And what are you most excited about personally right now?
SPEAKER_00I'm excited for my kids right now because especially my older son, he's still finding out about college and he's excited about that. And I'm I have this level of excitement for him because he's going to be able to go off and live on his own and all the fun and excitement for him. And then, of course, as a mother, it's going to be difficult, but I know that that's the best thing for him. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02I know I have to remind myself this is this is what we were supposed to do, right? This is what we're supposed to do. Even though it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like I want to do it, but yes. Ah, it's so awesome. It's it's I'm finding it such a I mean, it's bittersweet, but it's such a beautiful chapter too, to like watch them get their wings and fly and come back. And it's it's just, it's been really rich. So I'm excited for you. Well, Cavita, I learned so much today. Um, and I hope that everybody listening did. And I will put all the links in the show notes. And I just adore you. I'm so grateful that our paths have crossed and that we continue to travel in this journey, and it makes even more sense to me now, after having this conversation, why we did connect.
SPEAKER_00Yes, me too. I love this, right? We've not had this conversation before. So thank you so much for having me on your podcast. And I truly hope that your listeners gain something of value.
SPEAKER_02I know they will. And everybody check out what Cavita is doing. Have a great day, everybody, and I'll see you next week. Hey, thanks for tuning into this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, be sure to hit follow on your favorite podcast app. And if this episode could impact someone you know, please help us spread the word and pass it along. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.