.png)
Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
Stop surviving your life. Start creating it.
Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Client Spotlight: Get Out of Your Own Way with Sheri Resnik
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Do you get in your own way?
My guest today, is a client of mine and we started working together during a new stage of her life. She knew that in order to go all in, she needed help getting out of her own way.
Sheri a Creative Director and Event Planner in the nonprofit event space for years. She is also the Founder of The Emet Room where she brings women together to connect and find meaning in their lives.
Her energy and passion is contagious.
We discuss...
- the fear of failing
- how her survival model was interrupting her best efforts
- the role journaling played in getting her out of her way
- the importance of discovering her blind spots
- how getting rid of outdated patterns increased her clarity + forward momentum
- and so much more!
As you listen to her story, may it stir something in your own.
Enjoy!
Learn more about Carla:
Website: https://www.differentlyco.com
Get The Differently Journal:
https://differently.myflodesk.com/journal
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/differentlyco/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast
Go to https://differentlyco.com/events to get The Class schedule, sign up, and/or pass it on to a friend. Come hang out and learn with us for FREE!
Book a Complimentary Strategy Call with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/strategycall
- If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend.
- A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It’s a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too.
Thank you for listening!
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk, to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic, and in alignment with your deepest values. After a decade of coaching individuals from corporate leaders to creative artists to multi-million dollar CEOs, I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire, and it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything. I have a special guest on the show today. You are about to meet my client, Sherry Fresnick. She was referred to me by someone very special in her life and started coaching during a new stage of her life. She knew that in order to go all in on this next stage, she needs help getting out of her own way. Can you relate? Sherry's a creative director and event planner in the nonprofit event space. She's done that for years. She also has a huge heart for creating opportunities for people to connect and find meaning in their lives. She thrives and is deeply inspired by bringing people together in community, whether it's through her creative director work or through her smaller inspired gatherings through the Emmett Room, which you're going to learn all about. I'm honored to have Sherry join us today as she shares that journey of getting out of her own way. What a joy it has been working with her. You're going to feel that joy today as she invites you into her head and heart. As you listen to her story, may it stir something within your own. Hi, Sherry. Welcome to differently. Hi, Carla. I'm so happy to be here. I'm excited to spend some time with you and also introduce you to my listeners. So for everybody listening, Sherry and I work together inside of my Elevate Breakthrough Coaching program and for about two-ish months. And I invited her to join me on the podcast to talk a little bit about her experience and share about her incredible business that she has. So I'm very excited for you to meet Sherry. Sherry, give us a little introduction to you and your life and the stage that you're in.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so oh, me and my life and the stage I'm in. Okay, so first of all, last year I turned 60 years old, which is just a big milestone birthday, somewhere between existential angst and incredible joy. You know, before the pandemic, I'd been an event planner and creative director, specifically in the nonprofit annual gala space for about 15 years. And as you can imagine, the pandemic was not a great time for event planners. And I found myself leaning much harder into my like creative director side, you know, in the quote unquote pivoting that everybody was doing. So I definitely did, I definitely did a lot of pivoting. And I did a lot of virtual events before the pandemic, I would help produce and write, co-produce and write video. And I think like that kind of turned into more long format videos called virtual events, and that was interesting. And and I I kind of had fun with that, but I knew that's not at all what I eventually wanted to end up doing. And but during the pandemic, I started doing things like moderating virtual book clubs, and this is all over Zoom, of course. And then my side hustle besides event planning was teaching meditation. That's another discussion, just a passion of my that I wanted to share with others. So I started doing that over Zoom too. There was like, you know, a need for finding a calm space was pretty popular during the pandemic. And then finally I started doing like this workshop around racial justice and social justice and included family and some friends. And I found that I really loved preparing, producing, and moderating these events. While I missed being with people in person, I really liked kind of molding these wonderful events where everybody was kind of sharing and learning together. So once things calmed down and everybody started to recongregate, I started to think about like what could I do with this new insight? And I had also lost a little bit of my excitement around diving back into the pool of event planning. I thought, okay, I'm a little older now, hopefully a little wiser, and I miss people, and I enjoy calling my own shots. Like and I enjoy producing my own events, being my own boss. So I don't know. Did that answer your question?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so that's what you're you're doing today. And you'll you'll have an opportunity to share more about your business. But I I absolutely adore and love how you kind of took all these components of yourself and weaved them together to be really creative with all you know, during the time where we had to be virtual and then kind of bringing this back into you know a live event. And so we're gonna share more about her live events and how you can even participate. And I just I love that story and I love where this is headed. So take us back to before you and I met in the headspace and heart space that you were in that led us to working together or led to us working together.
SPEAKER_01Okay. That led us to working together. Well, you know, I'm going to kind of tag team that last bit that you asked me about, like where was I, where was I at? Where actually where am I at in my life? And and I think the pandemic really kind of was a grand reveal for like where I was going to go forward. I want to make a note that part of what I did for the nonprofits that I produced events for is I would do their event videos. And so much of those videos is going in and interviewing people about their life, about why they use the services, what happened to them that required them to use certain services. And I just even through that realized how curious I am about people and their lives. And so I already had a lot of experience interviewing people and amplifying their story. So that was sort of like that was a seed that was inside of me. I might not have been completely aware of it, but it was definitely there. It really, it really enhanced my own life to hear other people's stories. So, you know, what brought me to you was here we are. We're exiting the pandemic, slowly but surely. And right at towards the end of the pandemic one, I was introduced by a friend to another uh woman that she knew who was doing these author events. And she's like, Oh, the two of you should know each other, you guys produce events, and we met each other, and she was um like, oh, I'd like to do some stuff in Philly, and you know, it would be great if you could host some of these authors. And we worked together for a while, and I just kind of found like I wasn't it we weren't a great match. She was she had wonderful authors and she was a lovely person, but I don't think we were a great match because I realized like I really just want to be my own boss, I want to do my own thing, and I decided to kind of pursue going out on my own and and and kind of creating my own relationship with people to come and and do these. Well, originally it was author's events, now it's grown, and we can talk about that later. And what was the other thing? That's right. My oldest daughter, Samantha, who you know, she was in grad school at the time too. So while I was while I was producing some of these author events through this woman in LA, my daughter was in graduate school in New York, and she was working with you because she was coming close to graduating and she was like, okay, I need to focus, I need to figure out what my next step is. And she would talk about you all the time. You know, my coach is doing this, my coach is saying this. I cannot believe how clear she's how clear my vision is due to her health. And I would be talking about how I wanted to go out on my own and I wanted to do these salons and whether I was gonna do it. And finally she said to me, you know what you need, you need a coach too.
SPEAKER_00So don't you love when our kids like turn around and teach us, right?
SPEAKER_01It's really the best. They are our children, really are our greatest teachers.
SPEAKER_00They are oh, a hundred percent. Okay, keep going.
SPEAKER_01They have helped me tremendously, tremendously. So originally I was like, oh, I'll use your, I'll use Carla then. And she was like, Well, I'm still using her, and we were laughing about it because we were like, is it bad to use the same coach? Like, you know, how you're not allowed to use the same therapist, like if if you're if you know, if you and your kids are in therapy and it it's really it's actually not allowed to be using the same therapist, right? Yeah. So, but you finished up with her, and then she was like, you know what, it's fine, she's so great, you have to use her. And I gave you a call, and then I called you, and we kind of interviewed each other, and then we fell in love, and you know, the rest of the history. The rest of history.
SPEAKER_00So do you remember, Sherry, like in that first call, like what something you saw for yourself that was like, yeah, that this is what I want to do.
SPEAKER_01I really think I had I had an understanding that although I come off as being a very confident person, and I think in many areas of my life I am confident. When it comes to work, I've always had a little bit of an imposter syndrome in that area. A you know, inside, outside, I look very confident. Inside, I'm going, who are you to be giving instruction to all these people? You know, like, are you are you good enough to be doing this? And so when I first started talking to you, what I heard was, I'm gonna help you get out of your own way, which was extremely appealing to me because I did know, you know, at my ripe old age, I did know the person who was holding me back was me. I just was unsure of how to, you know, like they say, not believe everything I think. So your explanation of your style and your system really appealed to me. I want to say that I I don't know how many people listening have actually worked with you or interested in working with you, but and I don't know how many other coaches use this kind of um style, but you have us write each week. We do worksheets every week, and you ask the questions. It's not like journaling, it's not like, okay, you journal and I'll read your journal, although that is available if you want to do it, but you ask very specific questions. There's an entire narrative arc to you know how you walk in, how you get to the to each and every level, and how you'll exit the program the coaching exercises. Yeah. So these writing exercises were incredible to me. The worksheets really helped me see the farce through the trees, as I like to say. And I want to just go into a little depth about that because what I really appreciated was I would write, and then you would give me feedback on the writing. And I love that. Like I would go for walks with friends, and all I would do was rave about this feedback you were giving me on the writing because it was like, Shari, why do you use this word so often? I Sherry, I see these themes popping up. And I often did not see what you were seeing, but as soon as you pointed it out, I it was you, I really gained clarity. And that was tremendously, tremendously helpful.
SPEAKER_00I want to highlight a couple things you're saying, saying because one is just like getting out of your own way. Like I know a lot of people listening, like we all get in our own way, right? I get in my own way. I have to work with a coach. It's so helpful to have somebody help you see your blind spots because they are like blind spots. And, you know, my belief is that you were the expert on your life. And my job, my expertise is helping you clear all the crap that's in the way of you really leading your life powerfully, authentically, whatever that was important for you. And the writing is such a core piece because you know, just doing a workshop this morning talking about how we're always so focused on what's out in front of us and how our life is looking on, you know, are we checking the right boxes? And so often we're not looking inside. And that's why I use writing in in my own life and with clients like you, because it points you back inside. And I believe that most of the answers are in there, and I just help you find them and reflect them back to you. So I love that you shared that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think this is the absolute truth. And I was also kind of surprised because I've had a meditation practice for a long time, and a lot of that is sort of watching your thoughts and understanding that you are separate from them. And still, you know, these are lifelong practices. So, you know, nobody nobody magically becomes awakened. I have yet to meet that person, but I felt like, dear Lord, but I did feel like I had had a much better handle on it, and then I was surprised at how many doors that writing opened up in addition to my own practice. And actually, I should say that it actually enriched my meditation practice. So, you know, sitting down, writing, and then kind of sitting and sort of seeing what was percolating was also really interesting to me.
SPEAKER_00Well, and for anybody listening who I feel like journaling has, you know, kind of like a lot of baggage that comes with that word. Like either people love it or they hate it. I think I don't feel like there's a lot of in between. But just I invite everyone to think about writing or journaling as just it's just a vehicle to kind of help you take your life somewhere new. It can be such a processing tool, but I don't think it has to have all the baggage. It's really just a simple practice, another practice like meditation that can help move your life forward.
SPEAKER_01Oh, absolutely. And I think there's no rules around it. So I think when people think about journaling, Carla, they think about, oh my God, I have to sit down every morning and write a page in my journal. When in fact, it could be two sentences, it could be three words that described your day, you know. And I think what else is interesting, and by the way, I have been a journaler off and on and mostly off most of my life. And it's, you know, I it I always enjoy it while I'm doing it, and then it falls by the wayside. But I have been like in the practice of just writing a few words down even each day that just kind of describe yeah, by the way, I should I should add something else. I actually had been keeping a journal, I didn't really think about it till right now. But on Instagram, yes, I am on Instagram, I love it. It was an early adapter, but I keep a gratitude journal on Instagram, and I have for like five years now, it started off as like a New Year's conversation I had with a girlfriend. Oh, let's do a gratitude. We're so grateful for our lives. Let's do a gratitude journal on Instagram. And she lasted like a few months, and I'm still doing it. So, in a way, I do journal every day by identifying and explaining what I'm grateful for.
SPEAKER_00I never thought about it in that way, but is it is that a profile that you share or is that a private account?
SPEAKER_01Well, put it this way it is a private Instagram because hashtag my kids, but I will say that if somebody taps me on Instagram and I see they follow you, or you know, follow someone I know, I know it's not like some kind of bot or something, and then I say yes.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I don't know if you want to share that, or we can put it in the show notes, but it's just yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01You can. I mean, it's Sherry Resnick on Instagram. Not a sexy name, but it's there.
SPEAKER_00I love it. So tell us what was the motivator for you. I I think I know this. It's I think it was your business really that was driving you to do this work together. Like that was the big driver, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, I think that once I once I established that I really loved doing these women's events. Well, we haven't really talked about what I do a little bit, these author events, but I sort of have molded it into not just authors, but really any female thought leaders, whether they're philosophers, plural designers, heads of built their own nonprofit, whatever, you know, whatever it is. Once I started figuring out that I wanted to do these women's salons, I realized like I need to get very specific. I need to really get clear about what are my goals, what are the habits that I have that I need to get rid of? What are the habits that I have that I need to cultivate? And I think you were super clear about breaking that down for me in a really constructive way.
SPEAKER_00I just want to highlight that for listeners. Like, what what are the habits you need to get rid of? And what are the habits you need to add in order to move that dream forward? I think that's so good. I think so often we're we think about what we need to add, and I think the you know, maybe the more powerful question is what do I need to stop doing? Right?
SPEAKER_01Because for most of us, I was gonna say, like, your survival mode explanation to me, it just completely blew my mind. Okay. So, like, you know, I was like, oh God, I do this and I do that, and it totally sucks. I don't know why I do these things. And you were like, Well, you seem to have done okay up to this point. So these were the things that even though you might you don't see them as positives, and maybe they're not positive, they did help you survive to this point. But now let's as I'm quoting you, my guru, I'm quote quoting you, you know, it's like a snake shedding its skin. Like that skin was useful and it helped the snake survive, but now it needs to shed a new skin to evolve.
SPEAKER_00I love that description of it. Yes, because it's not, and it's not necessarily a once and done. You can do that again and again, right? As you evolve, your business evolves. I think it's important that we continue to shed those skins that no longer fit. And it's that was a beautiful way to describe it. And it was so fun to watch you see that. And one of my most famous Favorite parts of that is like asking you like who do you get to be and what do you get to do free of that? Right? Because it it it can feel like it just defines us, or that's just who we are, and it it's not. And when you start to kind of tap on that and pull it away, and then you get to real reveal like what's next for you and the truth about you and all of that. So that's one of my favorite parts.
SPEAKER_01Oh, Carla, it's so true. Like, I love the word you just use that freedom, because one of the things that you and I identified is that you know, my perfectionism, which really was was created by this terrible fear of failing, was getting in my way. And one of the things that you talked about or that we talked about a lot was like, what's the worst thing that could happen when you fail? You know, and I even was such a proponent of failing for such a long time. I would say to my kids, I sound totally hypocritical, I would say to them, Oh, you know, in junior high school and high school, they should really have classes on failing and how important failing is. But in my own place, right? Of course, because you know, there's a great podcast besides yours that I used to listen to all the time that was how I built this with Guy Ross. And he would interview, right? I love Guy Ross. Anyway, he would interview all these people who had started these very, very successful businesses. And almost every single solitary person I interviewed spent an a very large chunk of time talking about all of their failures. They, you know, it's like the Buddha saying, fall down seven, get up eight. They just kept getting up, brushing themselves off and going forward, but they were not afraid to fail. And it took me working with you to realize like nothing bad would happen if I fail. If I fail at this, so but my life will still go on and it'll still be interesting. And maybe there's another pivot in my life, you know. I don't know, but I wouldn't be able to find out unless I took the chance.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I I see this for you, and I also see this for myself. But sometimes the act of just doing it and putting your ideas out there and seeing them through is more important than whether it succeeds or fails. And like I'm in a stage in my life right now where I know I have a body of work that I've been afraid to release for exactly the reasons you're talking about. But I've gotten to a point where it's it's become more important that I just do it completely unattached to the outcome of it. Like I just have to give birth to this. I can feel it, right? And it doesn't matter. I don't have to know or have it figured out where it's gonna go. I just have to be willing and courageous to release it.
SPEAKER_01I really couldn't agree more. It's funny that you say that, you know, since you coach so many other people, you know, like just get it out there. One of the things that you did with me, which I really loved, is in the beginning when I was doing, when I was really starting to promote my women's salons, and for one of the salons, I only had, I don't know what it was, like five people sign up. And I called you and I was like, I think I should cancel it. It's not nice. And the first question you have was like, Well, did the speaker say they wanted to cancel it? And I was like, No. And then you were like, Why would you cancel it? She was first of all, Sherry, when I you said to me when I started teaching my workshops, my writing workshops, I would be get I would get there with one or two people. Or one or what so after you were done frying, you said, okay, let's start. And and I thought that was so great. And you were just like, Sherry, that's the way people learn about you know, those that one person or those two people go home and go, Oh, I took this great writing workshop. And and they tell friends of theirs who are interested. And then, you know, it's like the shampoo commercial, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends. So I did it. A few more people signed up, it was wonderful, it didn't kill me. And people talked about how incredible it was, and then they did tell friends. So it was a great, great lesson. And I think if you hadn't set given me that example, and actually it's very beautiful because you do share a lot of your own vulnerabilities in life, which I think is uh just overall an incredible characteristic of women in general. Oh, yeah, yeah, you really just need one woman to be vulnerable in a room, and then everybody else falls in line, you know, as long as they think it's safe. And women are so good at that.
SPEAKER_00And I think that's so true.
SPEAKER_01I I want to emphasize that working with you, by the way, on that note always felt very, very safe to me. I never felt like I couldn't tell you my worst fear about what would happen, you know. As a yeah, I I never thought, oh my god, Carlos. You know, you would think it's 60 years old. That would be also something like, you know, there is a part of me that's like, I don't care what anybody else thinks, but also like when you do reveal something that's felt very kind of you know dark about you, about the way you think, not dark like I have, you know, body something in the house. But you understand what I mean. Like something you're just kind of to admit. Yeah, it's important that you feel safe with the person that you're working with.
SPEAKER_00Totally agree. I think that's so important. And a lot of times it is. I mean, my job over here is just to like create a space where you you're really sharing with yourself and saying it out loud, but it's a powerful experience to be witnessed, to have that witnessed. And I think that's what I do is I witness it. But to me, it's it is one of the most powerful parts of coaching because we harbor these things inside of ourselves and in like, you know, like a dark room, if we're a house, we close doors and we, you know, we don't talk about certain things and they feel bigger and scarier when we keep them behind that shut door. And one of the most powerful moments in coaching is when people open that door and let light in and actually say it, and then it just it almost just kind of falls away a lot of the time. And but this yes, I totally agree.
SPEAKER_01And this has actually been my practice for a long time that when someone shares something with me that took some courage to share, right there was saying, Oh, really? Because me too. I've been there too. And I think that's really, really important. And in fact, you know, it's something that you're always working on. But one of the things that inspired me even to create these women's circles is I think, you know, I I it's no surprise that there's like this huge mental health crisis in this country, some of it brought on by the pandemic, some of it was brewing before the pandemic, some of it is just part of the human condition. And I think that when there's an opportunity for people to come together and to share, we feel less alone. And I really wanted to create a space where, you know, women in particular could come together and do that and feel feel the kind of you know, safety I felt in discussing with you and to not feel like they were being judged and to understand that you know there's no way to be a living human being and not go through pain and suffering and joy and happiness, and you know, the whole realm of experience, but that if you've gone through something, chances are a gazillion other people have been through the same thing. And as soon as, you know, you find that out, it takes some of it, it like takes some of the sting out, you know, you just feel part of like a broader community.
SPEAKER_00Yes. So that's a perfect segue into is there anything else you wanted to share that I that you didn't share yet before I segue you into your business a little bit more?
SPEAKER_01Looks so it's so funny because I have a few notes here. Of course.
SPEAKER_02I have a few notes here about how fabulous you are and how I prepared for our conversation.
SPEAKER_01But whoops, did I lose you? Okay. No, I mean but I I I do want to for people who are listening to this, I wanted to tell them that one of the exercises that were per that was particularly powerful for me, and I think is so great, just even if you wanted to do it on your own, is to work on separating the the facts of your life from the stories you create around them. I just I just found that to be incredibly powerful. And go ahead.
SPEAKER_00No, I was just gonna say that that's called the circle tool. And that tool, separating the facts from the story you're telling yourself as humans, like we are storytelling machines, and we are often fabricating stories around our you know who we are and what we're capable of, to just something that happened, you know, somebody didn't respond to an email and we create a story in our head about what that means. And that tool is something that you can use again and again and again and again and again and again in your life. Like I still use that tool in my own life today. Like it's it's it really does cut out the drama, stress, suffering that we perpetuate, self-perpetuate in our lives, right?
SPEAKER_01Well, absolutely. I think it's great to do these kind of exercises, you know, intellectually, I've done that exercise before, but to really sit down and work it through with someone is a completely different experience. And then we worked through identifying those parts of the stories that work for you and against you, and how can you cultivate the ones that work for you and toss the ones that don't work? And there's a lot of just joy. And uh so so many, as Oprah would say, like aha moments in that exercise. It's it's great the way that it it leads you like through through a tunnel, you know. It's like, oh God, how can I? I'm having trouble finding my, you know, it's a dark tunnel, how can I find my way out? And then it just keeps shedding more and more light. So it's it's really a terrific. And that is going back to like the farce through the trees, you know, kind of saying. And what was the other thing that I wanted to talk to you about?
SPEAKER_00I'd love for you to speak for a minute on ovarine because people might not know what that means. And I know that people that follow my work and people that I work with because like are struggle with that. It's you know, it's not just a yeah, it's a familiar issue that comes up over and over again.
SPEAKER_01So because I've kind of been a lifelong people pleaser and perfectionist, what a great combo, that resulted in me doing a lot of overing. And so what overing was for me was being in constant motion of making everything and everyone, well, making everything the best possible scenario could be, and making everyone as happy as I could possibly make them. And you know, obviously, we're none of us are responsible for anybody else's happiness.
SPEAKER_00That's an inside job, but there is but we often take that on, myself included.
SPEAKER_01You do, well, I do, I do, I often take it on, and part of that is part of my event planner energy. I'm sort of like, how can I bring up the vibe? You know, I want to feel like I have my finger on the pulse of how to create a captivating time for everybody, and maybe that was born of my people pleasing. Do you know what I mean? Like I really used it as my survival mode for a really long time in a good way, but it had its terrible ways too, which is me being overing. So, like over-preparing, over giving, overextending myself, saying yes when I mean no. And then hanging up and going, wait a minute, your brain was saying, don't say yes, Sherry. I mean, don't say no, Sherry. And yes was coming out of your mouth. Like, what is the matter with you? And I think the combination of working with you and also turning 60 was like, you know, no is a full sentence, as Elizabeth Gilbert likes to say. And and the fact that you pointed out to me that this kind of over-preparing and overdoing was actually depleting my energy and stealing energy from me. It's like I could kind of I could I get very emotional even thinking about it because pulling back on that has, I mean, just created such an incredible, such like a beautiful space to even cultivate more joy, actually. And to give myself time to like think things through, to use the ability to pause, which I've spent years kind of trying to cultivate. Like, don't react, just respond. And you need a couple seconds to respond. Yeah. So that was an incredible exercise.
SPEAKER_00That's one of my favorite places, like to watch you do that. And and Sherry, like you, it was such a joy working with you because you would so quickly integrate our conversations into your life and get on the court in your life. But what you just described is so profound because I think when we're caught in those motions of overgiving and overextending and over-preparing and overworking, and these are patterns that I have to deal with in my life and that I often am coaching people around. And there's so, you know, women like you who have a lot on their plate and you want to live a full life, there's often not doesn't feel like there's capacity to like add more or do more, be better, right? Like it just we're already overwhelmed. And so to find those places where you're overdoing things that you can pull back on, not only does it give you this extra space and bandwidth, but it it untangles you from these places with other people where you were like over-participating and it impacts them too.
SPEAKER_01Carla, I have a question for you. I know this is your podcast, but if I could like turn the tables on you. Yeah, yeah, of course. In your in your experience, do you find this is a pretty common issue among women in general?
SPEAKER_00100%.
SPEAKER_01I I see it a lot, and I really, you know, my I think each generation of women gets a little bit better, and I see that my kids have cultivated much better boundaries about the way they let people treat them and the way they respond. And you know, I had to and I've had to break a lot of those, a lot of that old conditioning of yeah, I just haven't I haven't met as many men. Now, maybe it's just because they don't admit it as readily as women do, but that get caught up in the I should have said, I shoulda, the shoulda's. Whether I'm smart or dumb, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was just gonna say I don't coach as many men as I do women over the years, but they men too have the areas that they struggle in. I don't see it as predominantly here. I think you're right. But for sure for women, this is a topic that I am reoccurring, visiting, revisiting over and over and over again with clients because it's a really big deal. And it's it's one of the most, like for me, most fulfilling places to help people because they have capacity that they don't realize they have. And by letting go of some of these old rules or old jobs, old rules that they've given themselves, they've can create a lot of freedom going back to freedom.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay. There's definitely there, you can definitely add more gas to your tank when you're not when it's not being siphoned out by all the Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_00And then you can focus, put harness this energy and put it towards these things like you are doing with the Emmett Room. So describe the Emmet room, the meaning behind it, take us into the Emmett room. I'm really excited for people to hear about this. So creative.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Okay, so on the spot. Okay. So during okay. Years ago, I was in a study group, and it was a Jewish study group of the called Musar. It's a Jewish practice, and I'm not a religious person at all, but I thought that the way the study group was described to me sounded really amazing, and it was with some other incredible, incredible women, and you would study these different characteristics humility and order and I don't know, truth. And the reason I'm adding, you know, talking to you about truth is because Emmet is the Hebrew word for truth. And I just kind of went down a rabbit hole on just the meaning of truth and what the deeper meaning of that Hebrew word really meant, which was not like this is a fact and this is the truth. It was more about like realizing your deepest potential, you know, what your what what the truth of you really is. And I just love that. And of course, during that time I was, you know, just for my own joy doing my yoga teacher training, and I was being certified as a meditation teacher. These were all things that I was doing just really to enhance my own life. And I in one of in my yoga meditation room in my house, I have like the the word Emmett up on the wall. Okay, so put a pin on that. Now, years later, it's the pandemic, and I decide that I really, really miss my friends and I want a way to communicate with them. So I created a newsletter called the Emmett Room. And I honestly, Carla, it was truly a love letter to my friends. That's what it was. And because my my kids who lived in New York came home with an overnight bag and stayed for almost a year, you know, we had we had a full house, and I asked them, like, can you contribute? So it was like my oldest daughter worked for the TED conferences, so she would recommend a TED talk. My youngest daughter is an agent for illustrators, and she would like recommend an artist. And I would send these Emmett Room newsletters out each month, and I would put like fun things I'd found on the internet, like radio stations that broadcast kind of fun topics from all over the world, or like polar bears, a polar bear cam, watching polar bears have fun, like just kind of wonky, crazy things. And weirdly, I don't know, I had no expectation of this, but my friends like really went crazy over it. And they would tell their friends, and then their friends would subscribe to my website, and I ended up with this like you. Huge mailing list of people who were interested in getting this Emmett Room newsletter.
SPEAKER_00So that is such a beautiful, inspired story. I just I absolutely love that. Okay, keep going.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Because it was really, really fun. And it used all my creative juices and and it distracted me from what was going on in the world and what was going on. And kept you connected. And kept me connected to my friends and the people that I love. So now fast forward, I'm coming out of the pandemic and I'm partnering with this woman in LA, and we're doing these author events, and I start reimagining the Emmett Room newsletter to broadcast my events. And then I start to do my own thing. I, you know, I picked up doing this thing called the Pod Squad, where I would give people instead of a book club, which you know, many, many people don't read so much anymore. I thought, okay, everybody can listen to the length of a podcast. And I would pick like podcasts that all nonfiction, like podcasts that had meaning, that talked about like important issues that were going on in our lives. And then I would bring people together to have a discussion about that podcast. I'd give them prompts for discussion and that kind of thing. And it really that newsletter actually served as the foundation for my Emmett Room salons. So the way I describe it is like they're lovingly curated events designed for women to connect, learn, and be inspired. And it has actually been a freaking dream for me because it involves like three things that I really love. One is food. So like I every every woman's salon like comes with a brunch or a dinner, being around a lot of fabulous women. I love women. I'm one of three sisters. I have in an incredible and I have two daughters and two nieces. And I just I just have an incredible bevy of fabulous women surrounding me, my mom too, being the queen of fabulousness. And and discussing the third thing. Oh, the third thing is discussing interesting topics. I love it. I love being in dialogue with people. So it really like just encapsulates those three incredible loves of mine. And so far it has been seriously a joy ride. I mean, a little bumpy, a little bumpy, but overall just freaking fantastic. I've met so many people. Carla, I've had people sign up and come to my house that I've never met. I've post these things on Facebook. I've partnered with an indie bookshop in my neighborhood, call out to LT at Narberth Bookshop. And I've through this, I've been introduced to so many incredible people. I I've just, it's just been so much fun.
SPEAKER_00It's so fun to watch you. And I I would say that this encapsulates so much more than the three things. Like it's such a beautiful evolution of this conversation because I feel like your business embodies so much of who you are and what you love, and like this curiosity and this love of learning, and this love of growth, and this right, like love of connection. Like it literally encapsulates everything that you are, and the creativity piece.
SPEAKER_01You are such a fabulous cheerleader. And one other thing that you encouraged me to do, I wasn't far from it in all honesty, but you definitely cheered me on, which is just to let my freak flag fly. Like just a thousand percent you, Sherry. And I have really remained true. And actually, you know, interestingly, it's much easier to be a hundred percent authentically yourself than anything else. It's like a great, it's a great weight off your shoulders, and I have really, really enjoyed that. And I know this is gonna sound like a downer thing to say, but like, you know, one day we're all gonna die. And I just kind of feel like, what do we have to lose? What do we have to lose? The failing or the sounding weird or dumb or being crazy. Yeah, like you know, don't uh I if I could talk to my younger self, I would say, like, besides jumping out of a plane without a parachute, you know, face your fears and go for the gusto and don't worry about tripping up or failing. Like you'll pick yourself up and you'll dust yourself off and on you will go. And I I I feel like I just wish I knew that earlier, but I'm enjoying the ride with it right now.
SPEAKER_00So good and so clear that you're enjoying the ride. So, how do so I know these are live events, so people in Philly can attend or kind of nearby, or you could fly in to attend these. For people who may not be able to do that, can they participate in your newsletter or their maybe the pod squads?
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. It's like I would say go to my website and subscribe and get on my mailing list.
SPEAKER_00Where do they do that?
SPEAKER_01I don't know that anyone would fly in, but you know, a girl can dream.
SPEAKER_00Never say never.
SPEAKER_01Yes, of course. Never say never. I do really welcome, I do really welcome all women. And and I want people to feel comfortable knowing that they're coming into a safe place and that you know there's other like-minded, curious people. It's very multi-generational, by the way. Each one has been really different, but there can be somebody here who's like 28 or 30, and someone also who's 82. And the multi-generational piece of it is really incredible. There's a lot of shared wisdom going on in the room.
SPEAKER_00Where do where can they sign up for your newsletter?
SPEAKER_01Right on shariresnick.com, and that's s-h e r I R E S as in Sam, N as in Nancy, I K at com at I mean.com. Sorry, I was giving you my email address.
SPEAKER_00Which is and we will put all of that in the show notes, the links and everything, so people can follow you. You guys have to check out what she's doing. Her newsletter, your newsletter is such a bright like delight when it comes into my inbox. It's really refreshing, it's really creative. You put things in there that always surprise me, and I love that. I love being surprised in my email, you know, because so much of email is just the same.
SPEAKER_01Right, and routine. And the other thing is there's there's a lot of news, period. I was gonna say there's a lot of bad news, but the truth of the matter is there's just a lot of all news is sensational, you know. They're trying to get your intention, your attention, and of course, there's 5,000 new ways to get your attention now. And so for me, like, yes, I take life seriously and I have and I have issues that you know will always be important for me, but my newsletter is really a place for good news and joy, and that is just as important as anything else. You know, stand up for what you believe, fight for what you believe in, but don't forget, like we're also, you know, if you're lucky enough to enjoy your life, you should be doing that too.
SPEAKER_00So beautiful. So, last question What does differently mean to you, Sherry Resnik?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so let's see. Uh, I actually think it means a couple things. I'm so curious to what other people have said about this car. But one is differently to me means actually embracing your differences, you know, being proud of who you are, because I think like my differences are part of what makes me me and makes me special and and interesting. So I embrace it as a positive. I like I like embracing my differences, I think everybody should. And I guess the other way you could interpret it is to just being able at any point in your life to look at your circumstances differently, being able to like see the see the sun through the clouds, and at any point be able to be flexible enough to switch things up if your life is pointing you in that direction.
SPEAKER_00So beautiful. So I think that completes our time together. I am so grateful for you. I'm so grateful that our paths have crossed. It has been an honor to work with you and to coach you. Thank you for trusting me. And I look forward, so forward, to what is ahead. And I just I thank you for sharing your wisdom and your energy and your business and what you're up to with all of us.
SPEAKER_01Oh, thank you, Carla. Thank you so much. Like, right back at you, sister. You are just okay, people. If you haven't started working with her, like literally, what are you waiting for? Get to it. She is an amazing woman, and you really have part been part of such a life-changing experience for me. I really am so grateful to have you in my life too, and non a stay.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Have a beautiful day. I will talk to you soon. Have a beautiful day, everyone, and I will see you next week. All right. Bye, Car. Hey, thanks for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, be sure to hit follow on your favorite podcast app. And if this episode could impact someone you know, please help us spread the word and pass it along. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.