Differently: Rethink what's possible

The Power of Proactive Planning with Elizabeth Cook

September 28, 2023 Carla Reeves | Life Strategy Coach
Differently: Rethink what's possible
The Power of Proactive Planning with Elizabeth Cook
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Do you love planning? Sticky notes? Goal Setting?

Do you love new ideas for approaching these things? 

If so, you are going to love this conversation.  Our guest today, Elizabeth Cooks, is going to stir your thinking around planning so that you can get in the driver seat of your life and make sure that the motions you’re making are leading to the life you want to be living.

Elizabeth is an Executive Coach specializing in career development and is also a Kolbe Certified™ Consultant. She works with mid-career professionals to help them enjoy their work more.

She’s a pro when it comes to accountability planning and goal setting. 

Elizabeth is someone who models what she teaches in her own life.  You are going to love the thought process that lives behind her planning.

Get ready to explore…

  • Tangible strategies to make sure your plans align with your larger life goals
  • The power of reflection while planning
  • And, one powerful question that just might change everything as you plan the next day, month, quarter or year.

Tune in and learn how you can plan with intention, focus on what matters most, and life life more fully along the way.

Learn more about Elizabeth:
https://www.elizabethcookconsulting.com/

Connect on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-cook-/

Learn more about Carla:  https:/www.carlareeves.com/

Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/

Explore Coaching with Carla:  https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching

Support the podcast!  Check out the merch!  https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-differently-shop/

Speaker 1:

Elizabeth Cook. Welcome to Differently. Hi, carla, thanks for having me. I am so looking forward to this conversation and so grateful that you and I crossed paths when I did the BizChicks Mastermind for an entire year and I today we're going to dive into this conversation around goals, and I just can remember so distinctly in that mastermind the goal sessions that you would really lead and they were so inspiring and so excited to have you open our eyes to how we can think differently around our goals and planning. So welcome, thank you. Yeah, I'm so glad our paths crossed as well.

Speaker 2:

And goal setting is one of my favorite things to talk about, so I'm excited for the conversation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so give the listener a sense of who you are and kind of what stage of life you're in and what you're excited about today. Sure, so I have three grown daughters, and they are 23 and then I have twins who are 20.

Speaker 2:

And that really is kind of relevant to this whole goal setting, because I first became self-employed five years ago, right after I was born, and I was just so aware of how little time I had left with my younger two in the house, and so it kind of really that awareness and just I really wanted to savor and make the most of that time remaining and also prepare for like the next stage of life with my husband. And that got me on this whole path of goal setting and just not so much goal setting, just the specifics of goal setting, but really just rethinking, thinking more proactively about my life and business and the things I wanted, just being like, oh, I need to get in the front seat, like life's passing by. I need to like make things happen a little bit with a little bit more intention and like energy or bigger than I had been up to that point.

Speaker 1:

Well, I love this idea that you're talking about, because I think I don't know. Everything that we talk about on this podcast is really how do we do life and business differently? And I think the challenge that I had for so many years and that I see come up with clients is we're we're goal setting and we're making all these motions, but those motions aren't always leading to the life that we want to be having now or even in the future, that we're just so programmed to set these goals, but we're not always good at stopping and reflecting and saying you know, are these intentional and are they actually leading to the life I want? And so I'm sure that you you obviously have seen this too in your own life and probably with the people that you work with.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely and I think it really is is more about intention setting, at least the way I think about it. Like, when we hear goal setting, it kind of triggers this type a you know, accomplishment in goals, and I mean there is that too. But it the way I go through it. I really am starting with setting the intention, and the purpose for me is really more about making sure I'm being intentional, being proactive with life and business, just how I'm spending my time. I mean, the whole reason why I made the decision to be self employed is I wanted to own my time and so.

Speaker 2:

But then there's also this recognition, when that happens, of like, oh, I own my time, like you know, it's up to me to make sure that I'm using it well, and so that's kind of where it's one of those things that is, is it good thing? But it's also like, oh, there's a lot of responsibility with that. There's no one else setting the agenda, there's no one else setting deadlines, making things happen. Like there's a lot of Benefit when you're working in an organization, of that Creating that structure. So then now it's up to us to create that structure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's kind of the good news, bad news. It's like it's good news because it's within your control, and then it's like, oh, but it's within your control and you're like you said, you're now responsible for it. So tell why wire? I know you've said a little bit why goals are important to you, but I feel like you model goal setting and planning so well, like, does this go back to when you were a little girl in any way? Like did you? Was this always a part of you or something that you really had to, a skill you had to learn to create the life that you wanted?

Speaker 2:

You know, I think yes, a bit of both it. I was always a checklist person, like my mom has saved notes that I have of, like Spring break, the list of things that I wanted to get done at spring break, like when I came home at college. We have it still, like this whole checklist of things I wanted to do, and so that part I think I think has has always been there since I was little. And but I think what I've had to learn is, like a lot of people, I always had more on my list than what was reasonable to accomplish, and I feel like in my 20s and certainly all through college and my younger years, like I spent a lifetime frustrated that I wasn't checking off all the things you know, and there is that feeling of like ending the day and feeling like I didn't get to the entire list, and that's where I feel like I've just shifted completely and how I think about it, how I think about those tasks on the list.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I want to come back to that, so, but before we do into, because I think that's so important and something that comes up all the time in conversations and even in my own life, I have the never ending to do list to, so I can't wait to hear how you approach that. But before we dive into that, how can we, like you've mentioned, you know, starting more with, like intentions, and I like that approach to, but how can we begin to like change the way we're thinking about goal setting and to begin with, kind of from a big picture, help us paint us a picture of a different way to think about what we've always been doing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so well, it's both zooming in and zooming out and this. The question that and I didn't come up with it initially was when I, when I first was looking for resources for goal setting, one of the places I turned to was they're called power sheets Go planning out. If you've ever heard of them, it's a company that makes now planner and it's, but it's a goals planner, but it's so much more than that. It's a. It has a lot of journaling in the beginning. That really helps you Set, kind of get gain some clarity around the intention of why you're setting the goals and that walks you through.

Speaker 2:

There's isn't a wheel, but the idea of this like wheel of life, like different categories, and you know where are you currently in each of these categories. You know finances, work, personal relationships, service, things like that. Anyway, the very beginning of this goals planner I remember the question was where. What do you want life to be like when you're eighty? So, starting with that zooming out and for me that was so sounds like such a simple question, but it really helps clarify you know what, what do I want my life to be like then and paint that picture like it I remember, like journaling in all areas of my life, like what's the vision for me at eighty, and then, zooming in, like what do I need to do in the next ninety days that might help me get closer to that vision, and maybe, even more importantly, like what's not so important, you know, what isn't going to help me get there or just isn't moving the needle one way or the other, so shouldn't be prioritized.

Speaker 1:

I've never thought about zooming out quite that far. I really like that. I really like that. I'm curious what did that? Can you think of anything specific that that, like, shed a light on that? You know, zooming out ten or twenty years didn't do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely well, two things one is that you know you can't do that. One is that I wanted to be very connected in my relationships with my husband, my adult children and and my larger community, and I realize I really was not Actively doing things to ensure that would be the case. I mean, you know I'm not like ignoring my immediate family, but I wasn't like Making intentional investments in really cultivating those relationships in a way, particularly even with my children who, you know, the time we're in high school and just starting college, like in a way that would I wasn't like looking for hobbies that we could do. That would be something we might do when they're forty, you know, and and mutual interest other than just managing the household and helping them apply to college and all that kind of stuff. I wasn't really.

Speaker 2:

And so that was one of the things I changed one of my daughters we started going to yoga class. Well, I think I could do yoga when I'm eighty, like that could be something when I come to visit me, do a yoga class, like for the rest of our lives. So just little things like that. And my husband, I remember that year we bought kayaks. That was something we talked about forever but hadn't done so, just like being intentional about, you know, actively investing in those relationships. And then my other was I really want to be active, like mentally and physically, and that really helped me prioritize my own health and that is something that just often in life, you know, when you're busy Feels like something you can put aside, like not taking time and to exercise, and it's not like I'm a massive exercise, but just moving in some way every day. That really helped me say, okay, that that actually is more important Than some of these other things that feel important in the moment.

Speaker 1:

I just want to highlight that this is so beautiful because not only is it sort of steering the ship for your you know, long-term future, but it's also impacting your life right here and now, today, and, you know, building things within your life that are going to lead you there but that you get to experience today. And I think that's so important and sometimes we forget to do that. I mean, we're in a stage where our kids just left the nest. You know, our youngest just moved out, and I realized that I never dreamed about this stage of my life, like I'd be coming to parent.

Speaker 1:

I just thought why I'm always a parent and I didn't really dream about, okay, well, when they move out, what is this going to look like? And I had been taking, we'd been taking care of our marriage, but we hadn't really like, we hadn't really thought about that we're going to still feel young and have a lot of vitality and life in us and, like, really want to live at this stage. So we're having so much fun now, but I think, looking back, like, wow, I could have dreamed about this time, and so I think that's that's so important. So, just like with everything, there's always sort of an outer game and an inner game, but as we begin to think differently about our goals, are there any like limiting beliefs that you see show up again and again for people, that that get in the way of doing this differently or having this feel better? Right?

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely Well. One thing that I think shows up a lot is particularly with goal setting and planning, or even planners, like you know, as soon as we mentioned the word planners, I'm sure some people you know people love to talk about planners, but one thing that can be a hang up is trying to do it the same way someone else did it. So, even as I'm sharing like a process that I use, I fully recognize, like that might not be the best process for someone else to use, and that's where I use a tool in my work called the Colby assessment. Natalie Echdahl introduced it to me and so I know you've taken it too, because she has everyone take it who comes through her program, and I'm now a certified consultant with them, and one of the things that does is really shows you how you naturally take action and that comes up even with this how you're going to create structure around your goals or not, and how, how much structure you need, and so really recognizing what's going to work best for you and what your own watch outs are like.

Speaker 2:

Depending on where you sit in this Colby, you might be someone who is more likely to get distracted and thrown off by other goals you think of throughout the year and that might be something that gets in the way of you completing the ones that you prioritize. And for some other people it might be that you spend so much time going down the rabbit hole like researching the goal that you don't like like. One of my goals was planning overnight trips with each of my girls. I could have gotten lost in the planning and finding out the place and the best place that I never actually got it on the calendar. So kind of knowing what your strengths are and then how, if you ever use that strength, it could get in the way, I think can help make that whole process just flow better for you, as opposed to just trying to copy someone else and then being frustrated and feel like, oh, this doesn't work for me just because their method didn't work for you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so people that may not be familiar with the Colby and we'll put a link in the show notes to that assessment Can you give us a couple more examples of how that might look for? Like a quick start, it's quick start. What are the main themes? Sure yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it's for. The whole idea is it's measuring. It's not measuring how smart you are, it's not measuring your personality or even what you value. So it's different from some of the other assessments out there. It's measuring how you take action when you're problem solving, specifically around these four types of action gathering facts, creating a system dealing with uncertainty, and how you deal with physical objects and tangible objects. So those are the four modes and on each of them there's like a spectrum and there's no good or bad, right or wrong. It's more knowing where you sit, because if you approach things the way that come most naturally to you, that's going to be where you're using your energy most efficiently. There's going to be more flow, less friction. It's going to.

Speaker 2:

Those are the times like if you, if I, were to ask you to think back of a time that you, you planned something or you did some big thing and it went really well, if I started to pull out how you actually went through it, it would, if all is validated, it would match your Colby in terms of what you did first, what you did next, that kind of thing. And when you try to do it in the opposite way, that's where it creates stress burnout. It's not that you can't do it for a short period, but it's not going to feel great to you and over time it's definitely not the most effective way of working through something for you.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think that's so true in the limited thinking. Sometimes it's like we think somebody else knows better or has a better system right, and I mean it's great to get all kinds of ideas, but then ultimately I love this idea of looking at how, looking back to where you did something really well or executed well and what did you do and how that worked, and kind of pulling out the clues to guide your next process. I love that.

Speaker 2:

Exactly yes, and that's a great exercise to go through. Whether you know your Colby or not, that could be a way for you to kind of get to the bottom of it and see what works best for you. That's why I get so frustrated when I see things on LinkedIn or something about someone shares some exact method they did for creating a morning routine or some way they organize their day, because Colby, I would imagine, influences that quite a bit, and so what works for that one person may not work for you if you operate very differently 100%.

Speaker 1:

So this idea of being proactive and reactive I know a lot of times when someone is exploring the idea of coaching or working together and getting support, one of their greatest challenges or one of their greatest desires is like I want to move to a place where I feel more proactive versus reactive. So I know that's important to you too. So how does that tie into this conversation?

Speaker 2:

Yes. So it's really getting clarity before you even start setting goals about what's important to you and why, and really creating that buy-in for yourself. Sometimes if we ask someone, what do you want to look different in six months or what would you like to be different in six months, the first thing that comes they come up with might not really be their true goal. It's maybe something they've heard other people say or things they think they should do. And that's where the coaching process of really digging deeper and that's sometimes why I think goals don't work, or New Year's resolutions, because maybe you came up with something that you thought you should do or you feel like you should do, but you're not really bought in to it and then your motivation is going to waiver as soon as you're not getting instant feedback or as soon as it gets hard. So I think really part of being that proactive is exploring what is the like having that long term view. What is it like when I went through that exercise the first time of where I wanted to be when I was 80 and those two things came up?

Speaker 2:

I remember looking at my calendar and none of those things were prioritized, none Like, and I had a lot. I was very busy, I was overwhelmed, but none of the things on my calendar had to do with deepening relationships with people in my inner circle or my health. How crazy is that? You know? So once I had that perspective of like, ok, if this is truly what I want, then I need to have things on my calendar today that are helping me move in that direction. It just changes. It changes the decision. When push comes to shove and you're in that moment. I have a lot more buy in now for prioritizing those things because I've zoomed out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, and I think that you know, a lot of times we're caught in this, you know, survival way of living our life, which isn't all bad. It's gotten us to a certain level of success, but then usually we reach a point where we're like we're not reaching that next level that we want. And I think what you're describing is to take a moment to pause and reflect, and really I love the idea of writing here, journaling, to really get into your heart and soul. To what, where, where do you want to be leading your life and are you carving out? Does your schedule align with that and match with that? So, so important. Love the idea of writing. So walk us through your planning process.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so typically I would do this at a 90 day stretch.

Speaker 2:

Well, at the beginning of the year I like to do like a lot more journaling, using like a wheel of life, like in each of these areas, what do I want to, big picture, focus on for the year?

Speaker 2:

But then, in terms of actual planning, 90 days is a good, a good time frame for me because it gives me enough time to see some success and but it also it's not too long that you know things change and that's might shift everything. So it's really getting some going through kind of the different buckets, so to speak, of where I want to make progress and looking at where I am now and where the gap is, and then identifying what my priorities are and then really breaking them down into some actionable steps that are I can do in 45 minutes or less and for me I think that's key Because otherwise it seems too big and then getting them on the calendar. For me that is really important that they are. I have some time, even if it's not for that specific task, but I have a block to work on those things and then I make them visible.

Speaker 1:

So with the dry race board I haven't heard of this like breaking it down into 45 minute steps. I really like that idea. So for this 90 day period, do you actually calendar all of those or do you do it in sort of stages or chunks?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I don't calendar every task. I'll calendar like work on my this goal, like input, that on the calendar, but then I have all of the tasks listed separately. Now, sometimes I will, depending on if it's a task with a very tight deadline, like I'm going to a conference, and I map out all the things that I need to do before the conference. I will often do that, attach a date to it because Because and this shows why I probably should do it all the time because I know there's like a hard in date, there's no fudge room, so I will, you know, have the dates on there because that helps me see if I miss that deadline. It's going to create a problem the next week because of, you know, the hard stop of the conference date. But typically, when it's more, not as specific, tied to a hard deadline, I will put them with, like I mentioned these dry erase boards that I have, and I will put them on the dry erase board with checkmarks, like, if it's a certain you know, like I want to write a blog, post it for that month, I'll just put that on there and there's, that's not a hard date, but I'll have it with the checkbox or if it's.

Speaker 2:

I set a personal goal for myself when I turned 49 that I wanted to reach out and have catch ups with 50 people my personal friends that before I turned 50. So that's like I'm going to get really behind if I don't keep up with that. So I'll put little checkbox in the people and I have a running list of people and so I have that on the dry erase boards and it's right where I can see it. So every day I look at it and when I have a few minutes, you know I'll, I'll. I'm constantly like looking at me, helping me stay motivated. I love that idea. How creative that's awesome.

Speaker 1:

So so you, you think about it in a 90 day stretch and then you kind of pick your items and you task out those particular goals and then you calendar those. Are there any other pieces that we've missed?

Speaker 2:

Hmm, Well, I do think tracking it in some way is really important for most people, definitely for me. But having some visual reminder so I mentioned my dry erase boards, I also in my planner. I also have a visual reminder. So I mentioned my dry erase boards. I also in my planner. So each week on Friday I go through and look at the goals again and then I'm pulling out which ones are going to be the priority for the following week. And in my paper planner that's when I'm actually getting them on my calendar. So the Friday, the week before, I'll say OK, which of these things, based on what I have going on this week, can I, you know, accomplish this week? And that's when I'm actually blocking off that time in the calendar and and putting them in my planner so that now, if something else comes up that week, I know like that time's already taken, I've already assigned that time.

Speaker 1:

I know that there's a question behind your goals that you it's kind of runs in the background for you. What is that question?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, that's what I mentioned already the word I want to be when I'm 80.

Speaker 1:

Okay, good, I love that, Okay, so that's the question we want to always be keeping in the background. And I, when you, when you, how do you approach missing those marks that you've set for yourself? Because I think this is a place where I can, you know, start to feel defeating or heavy and kind of defeat the purpose of the whole thing. So how, how do you manage that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely Well, I think that that the word I want to be when I'm 80 actually helps that as well, because sometimes I'm missing the mark because something else came up that I couldn't have anticipated, but that is also something I'm prioritizing.

Speaker 2:

So, you know, it's yes, it's different from the goal I had initially set but it is, you know, very much in line with my values and my intentions and the bigger picture intentions. And I think that's where and I didn't go into a lot of detail on this, but that's where really getting, before you even get into goal setting, really getting clear in that upfront, the journaling, using a wheel of life, going through each of the areas that you want to make progress on, and getting clear about your, your values and your intentions that you want these goals to be in alignment with, is really important. That's where, when things come up unexpectedly, you can go back to that bigger viewpoint of what am I really trying to accomplish big picture? The goals were just the task that you came up with, but that can change. You know, like I had a lot of ideas for this fall and last weekend my oldest daughter got engaged, so that's going to change everything.

Speaker 1:

You know a lot of the projects that we had now are going to be redirected.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm not beating myself up that I'm not going to. You know, I'm not going to get to a lot of those other goals because now I have this new project that is going to take priority. That I couldn't, you know, didn't anticipate, but I'm thrilled with it. Like meets the bigger picture intention. So I think having that clarity on the intention keeps you from getting too hung up on the task, because the task or just the tool like that was that, was just the tool you tried, or maybe you tried it and it didn't work. It's the, it's the bigger picture intention. That is the guiding what, what really matters. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:

It does, and I think what I hear in your whole energy and being in the process is that there's sort of a there's a flexible mindset. This is adaptable, it's not rigid, it's. It's sort of a loose structure that that does help to guide our every day and our month and all of that, but with the idea that life happens and we can't always control that, and so sort of a flexible approach is super helpful here. Is that accurate?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, but and that's guided by these intentions that are guiding, so it doesn't. To me, that helps it feel more stable, even if the task are changing, because it's it's still in alignment with the intentions that I set.

Speaker 1:

I'm curious like was there a time in your life where you were lopsided in like working, working really hard, or working too much, or anything like that? You're not in, she's not in her head.

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh yes.

Speaker 1:

And so it sounds like this approach has allowed you to kind of back up and make sure that you're making moves that touch all the important areas of your life.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. It definitely was born out of, you know, pain of feeling like that I was being. I was in a reactive state for for way too long and not enjoying that feeling. And there's a quote out there. I'm going to butcher it, but it's something about the something. The idea is that the biggest regret would be to be doing the wrong things. Well, I need to go find it because that's that's not super close, but it's like I don't want to be, you know, doing a great job but with the wrong things, and that I remember reading that quote. You know, in my 30s, with young kids, and feeling like, oh, that might be me, you know, I might be hyper focused on the things that don't really matter and not spending enough time on the things that do matter in the bigger picture scheme. That's my goal, for it. Is it at the end of the year, the end of when I'm 80, that I will look back and be able to feel like I was spending my time and energy on the things that really mattered.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think this episode will air as we're approaching the end of the year. If you're watching this live and I think that's such a great question of regardless of how this year has gone so far planning the last quarter if you can ask yourself that what is finishing well from here this year look like and what would feel really good, and then plan and aligning your actions to that can be so incredibly helpful. I love that. So do you have any favorite tools or little strategies that just are always your go-to around time and planning and calendars? You mentioned the power sheets and the journaling I think is a good tool.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and the whiteboard yes, I love my whiteboards. You know, part of me wants to say that it's not the tool, and it's hard for me to say that because I'm a tool like enthusiast. I love all of those conversations, I want to check them all out. I think I've tried every type of planner out there and so I'm not saying tools are bad. I'm just saying I don't think the solution is the tool.

Speaker 2:

I think sometimes people it can be tempting to think well, if I just find the right tool, then I'll have this perfectly organized, planned life. I mean it's. You know, we sometimes do the same thing with jobs. If I can just find the perfect job, then my husband will be better and my kids will be more well behaved and I'll be thinner and all the things like we can attach too much to like this one solution. So I think tools are great and I think the the, your time and energy would probably be most maximized by spending the time to really get clear on what you want, and that sounds like a simple question, but usually it's not, and you know whether that means taking time away, taking yourself on a personal retreat, working with a coach who can draw it out of you or using a tool that can have journal prompts that can help you that those certainly can help with that.

Speaker 2:

But really getting clear on what you really want Because that's the whole idea is you. You get to decide. It's your life and you have probably a lot more control than you think you do. And that was the biggest thing I remember for me. The first year I really actively did this. I was like wow, I made all that happen, like I can't believe it was that easy, like why wasn't I doing that a long time ago? So. But if you're not really clear on what you want, then everything else is going to be harder because you're kind of just reacting. So spending the time up front to get really clear and really bought into that vision, I think is the best tool, so to speak, or the best use of your time.

Speaker 1:

I respect this answer so much, elizabeth, because it is you're right. It's just like everything. We think if we just get that thing, or we get the, or we hire the right teacher, or we take the right class, or we have the right tool, that that's going to solve the problem. And I think it's hard for people to stop, but that's the very most important step is to stop and get quiet. And I think a lot of times when I'm coaching people, it's you know they're looking for the answers out here, when the answers lie inside and nobody. I always tell my clients like nobody can see your compass, nobody can see it. And it's really like do you have the courage to follow it and get clear about where your compass is supposed to go? And do that? Yes, so good, yes, okay, oh, I love this conversation so much. How do people learn more about you and the incredible work that you're doing?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so my website is Elizabeth Cook Consultingcom and I'm very active on LinkedIn. That's where I tend to hang out, so that would be. I would love to connect with. Oops, sorry, sorry, Carla, it just zoned out.

Speaker 1:

I'd love to connect it with any of your audience. Awesome. Please check out what Elizabeth is doing. Connect with her on LinkedIn. I've told you this before, but I love what you're doing on LinkedIn. It's so real and so engaging and so interesting the conversations that you start there. So please check out what she's doing. Thank you so much for joining me and having this conversation, and I can't wait to have you back, because I know there's so many more places we can go. Thanks, Carla.

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