Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
Are you feeling stuck? Being stuck can leave us feeling powerless and that never feels good. What if "feeling stuck" is a really a symptom of something else? On today's episode, I share simple insights and ways to get yourself unstuck. I love to help people get unstuck - it's usually a matter of helping you get out of your own head, see things differently and in a better feeling place. As you feel better, you begin to see possibilities that weren’t there before and before you know it - that old feeling of being stuck has lifted and you are back on the court of your life! Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
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SPEAKER_00
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. Hey everyone. As I sit down to record this episode, I just want to express uh the gratitude I feel for you listening and choosing to listen and choosing to spend your time here. I know there are many things fine for your attention, and it's an honor to me that you've chosen to be here. And I just want to thank you for that. Today I want to have a conversation about this idea of feeling stuck. So, for those of you who may not know, I have been working with ambitious leaders, creatives for over a decade. And the people I work with when they start or when they reach out for support around coaching, they typically feel stuck in some way. And that's what I want to talk about today is this idea, this place that we get to in life where we feel stuck. Maybe you're feeling that way now. Maybe you've felt that way before. Maybe you just want to be equipped the next time that feeling overcomes you. And it's it's not a good feeling, right? It's a it's a terrible feeling when you feel, you know, literally like caught between something, bogged down, like you're trying to move through mud, or maybe like you're spinning your wheels uh on a stationary bike working so hard, but feeling like you aren't getting anywhere. What I know about the people that I work with, and some of you might even be listening, is that sometimes that feeling of stuck is that place where you're on the precipice of something new or different, but you're not exactly sure what that is. Sometimes it's you've reached a point in your career or you've achieved some sort of success, but how you thought that was gonna feel isn't exactly how it feels. There's a disconnect. Or there's a pl you've hit a wall or a ceiling in some area of your life, and you you want to figure it out, but you don't know how to figure it out, and you've been kind of banging your head against the wall and you're tired of that. There are many different circumstances in our life that create a feeling of being stuck, and being stuck, feeling stuck, can leave us powerless and purposeless, and that just compounds the feeling of being stuck. I love to help people get unstuck because it's usually a matter of helping you get out of your head, see things differently, get you feeling better. And when you start to feel better, there starts to be some movement and mobility, and you feel you don't feel so stuck. So let's talk about the impact of being or staying stuck. And I want you to think about it. What is that feeling for you? What I have seen in my own life and in working with others is that it can keep us from being present and engaged in our life because we're caught up in our head trying to figure it out. Um and the more stuck you feel, the more overwhelmed and stressed you get about being stuck. There's sometimes a loss of motivation for what you are doing because thinking about being stuck is literally robbing your precious mental and physical energy. And that endless thinking about it, that things could be better or should be better or should be different, keeps you from enjoying your life as it is right in this moment. There's this feeling that time's passing and you're missing out, or you're not, you know, living fully, you're not maximizing things, which adds more weight on to this already feeling of being stuck. And it also can impact the quality of the work you are doing or the quality of the moment you are in, because just the idea that you should be somewhere other than you where you are leaves you feeling unfulfilled and keeps you from being in that exact moment. So I want to ch challenge your thinking a little bit. And if you've been listening for a while, you know that my belief is that anytime we want to change something in our life, we have to shift the way we're thinking about it first. And so I want you to think about just the definition of stuck. So I looked it up and stuck, the definition of stuck is fixed tightly in this position and unable to move. No wonder it feels so terrible, right? We feel trapped, we have no freedom, we feel powerless. When in reality, this is a construct of the mind. We aren't literally stuck. And when we affirm this in our mind that we're stuck, this creates a lot of uh unsettled feelings and emotions and powerlessness and fear and like we're missing out. Just feel all the emotions that happen in your body when you tell yourself you're stuck. What if we could be more aware of just this construct or this fabrication that we create in our mind? And where the truth may be is that maybe just your thinking is stuck, but you aren't physically trapped or without options. I believe stuck is a state of mind, it's not real, although it feels very real. And it's something you do have control over to shift. And what I want to help you think about is where you have control and influence to shift that for yourself. So I want to give you a new perspective or a whole new way to see stuck. It feels like something is wrong, but what might be right or even timely about this state of being you're in? We tend to dislike this place or frame of mind, but what if it has a purpose in and of itself? And what I mean by that is sometimes when I'm feeling that sense of stuckness, I try to approach it with curiosity instead of dread and resistance, and just try to be curious about why is there this pause here in my life? Maybe, maybe I don't know enough yet. Maybe I don't have enough information to make that next step or move. Or maybe there's a perfect reason for this pause. Maybe the timing isn't right. Maybe something's gonna happen that's going to that hasn't happened yet, and I need to wait. And so being really curious about it gives me a completely different frame of mind to stand in. Something else I've learned over the years in my life and working with others is that sometimes this feeling of stuckness is a symptom of something else. So if you can tune into the root of the problem, you're on your way to shifting your frame of mind and feeling like you have something you can influence to free yourself up or create momentum in your life. And so I've made a list to help you identify possibly the root, the more root cause of feeling stuck. So I want to ask you, and I'm gonna give you a list. Does your stuck feel like you're in limbo between one thing and the next? That you're overwhelmed and exhausted and can't figure out how to change things? Is your stuckness a feeling of like something's out of alignment with your values? Or is it because you've outgrown a situation? Is it that you feel like you're on the fence and you need to make a choice, but maybe you're just afraid to make the wrong one? Or maybe you know the choice you want to make, but you're afraid of what others are gonna think? Is it a fear of change or loss? Is it because you want you know you want something different, but you've lost that motivation to go for it? Or is your stuckness just overthinking and you're lost in your head, sort of spiraling in negative thinking and fixated on something that happened in the past? These are just some ideas, but when you're in a stuck state of mind, we tend to cut off our ability to see options, possibilities, and our perspective is just limited. And so what if feeling stuck is an indicator or a symptom of something else, like a like a gift in disguise? What if being stuck or feeling stuck is really purposeful? And like I said, either we don't have enough information to move forward, or the timing isn't there just yet, or there's important work that we're invited to do right here and now before we make that next move in order to chart a new course. Or maybe we're just to be focused on something else for the time being. Something else is calling for our attention first. Maybe a trade-up of being stuck is just it's a pause, it's a slowing down, it's an indicator for you to pay attention and really discern more closely what's happening. So I want to give you some super simple yet profound things you can do right now, today, to get yourself out of this state of feeling stuck. So the first one is just to remind yourself that you're not actually stuck by definition. You are not trapped, you're not stuck in mud, you are not spinning your wheels on a stationary bike, although, unless you're exercising right now, but you have the power to get off. Um, so remind yourself that you're not stuck. Number two, change your language, shift what you're telling yourself. Replace this idea, like this internal narrative of I'm stuck, or even telling other people that you feel stuck. Change that language. That alone will start to shift your reality. So you can use words like I'm in between things, or there's a pause here, or I'm not sure what's going to happen next. All of those have a very different feeling and will make a difference for you. Number three, really stop to discern is this feeling of stuck a symptom of something else? And what I mean by that is like if you go through that list that I gave you, if you're in between a decision, and I see this a lot in working with clients, is they are they feel like they don't know what to do next. But when we look more closely, they actually have clarity. They do know what to do next. It's something else that's preventing them from doing it, like a fear of judgment or a fear of letting other people down. And so in that particular case, it's the problem isn't being stuck. What actually needs to be addressed is this fear of judgment or this fear of letting people down and dig deeper into that first. Number four, look for what is within your control. So a lot of times we get fixated on the things that the circumstances or things that we can't control. But I want you to really think about what is within your control that would create a little bit of mobility or freedom for you. Number five, make peace with where you are. What would you have to give up, whether it's a thought, a belief, an old outdated rule, in order to make peace with just where you are right now, trusting that there's a reason you're here. The next one, what small action can you take today to restore states of joy, of feeling present and engaged in the moment, and feelings of gratitude? Because if you can shift your state of mind to joy, presence, peace, gratitude, that alone is gonna open something up for you. And it's a great thing, like a great thing to do if you feel like you need to do something is to move your body, exercise, do something that involves play or creativity, um, listen to music, get in someone else's world. I can't tell you how many times if I'm stuck in my head and I hop on a coaching call, I feel so much better because I have left my head and gotten in somebody else's world. It's really powerful. In summary, remember that stuck, feeling stuck is a construct of the mind, and therefore you have power to change your perspective and see things differently. And when you do, a whole new world will open up. One that you couldn't see just a moment before. I am so passionate about this topic because there were many, many times in my life that I felt trapped and powerless and stuck. And it is my mission today, and the work that I do with people is to help you see how everyday life can be the most creative, most meaningful adventure you will ever take by leveraging your mind to really innovate right here and now. I invite you to get out of your head and into your life right here, right now. Have a beautiful day. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you love listening to this podcast, may I ask you to leave a review in Apple Podcasts. It means so much to me, and I believe everyone are a great person. If you want to hear more conversations like this, please follow or subscribe on your Facebook podcast app and help me button Facebook episode and down, please share it at the bottom. Remember, you have a stuff in the next one.
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