Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
On today's podcast, I share a personal story of how a desire for a vacation led me to something better. If you feel tired and in need of a reset - this episode is for you.
Also, in this episode...
The rewards of listening to your own internal nudges
Ideas for your own reset
Steps you can take to create more balance in your life.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend.
A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It’s a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too.
Thank you for listening!
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I'm Carla Reeves, and this is differently the Life Preneur Podcast. I'm a hyperachiever turned life preneur, and after a decade of coaching ambitious leaders, I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire. And it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything. This podcast is for the everyday leader, ambitious for a rich, out-of-the-box life. This is your weekly nudge and reminder to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic, and in alignment with your deepest values. The last month and a half have been super interesting times for me. Actually, a little bit life-altering. And while it's very much still in the works, I want to share it with you. We just had the most beautiful storm roll through in the desert here in Arizona. It is such a beautiful surprise when it rains. It's like it washes away all the dust and kind of creates anew. And that's kind of how I feel like the last month and a half has been too. I completed a year-long business mastermind at the end of June, and this had my mind incredibly active for an entire year. As an entrepreneur, I'm always thinking about my business. It takes up a lot of capacity in my brain and has for the past 20 years, really. But this took it to another level for an extended period of time. I felt tired. Quentin and I were sitting next to each other at our favorite place for Friday night taco date night, and I can't remember how our conversation started, but we were dreaming about a month-long vacation and what that would be like. We even got serious and started to think about whether it was actually possible, what we would do and where we would go. And you know, I think we've been dreaming about this on and off for a long time, actually. Now that I think about it, we haven't really ever taken an extended vacation since we've had kids. So after looking at our calendar and what we have coming, we realize it's not feasible right now. But it's coming, people, it's coming. In my journal the next morning, I had this idea emerge from this desire to go away on a month-long vacation. And it occurred to me that what I needed was a bit of a vacation from my work and more importantly, a rest for my brain. And this didn't require going away and spending a ton of money. And I remember talking to Quentin about it, and he's like, this is a giant revelation for you, Carla. This is big. And the fact that you're willing to give this to yourself and permission to do it is even bigger. And I really felt that my brain does need a need a rest and it needed to unwind. And my brain needed a long drink of water, if you will. And it was the perfect time. The way for this to happen was kind of cleared naturally as things were naturally coming to an end, and clients, some of my clients were on pause for summer vacations. It opened up my calendar quite a bit. So what I did to make this happen was I cleared out all the things that I was doing that weren't absolutely necessary to keep my business afloat. This included um unnecessary meetings or uh collaborations, things on my to-do list, projects, creating new ideas. I paused on just creating anything new and my constant energy around refining and making anything things better, I stopped all of it. There was more busyness that was happening than I realized. It required me to get uncomfortable here and really stretch outside of what seemed immediately possible. When it didn't seem possible, I would just ask myself the question of like, what if this were possible? What if you could do this? What if we could shift this around? And those what ifs really opened a lot of doors that weren't initially open. So kind of interesting. What I set out to do was go on vacation. Then what I decided was that I really got clear that my brain needed rest. And what I ended up with was having more balance and space in my life. When I'm working with a coaching client, I am always listening for where they are being internally nudged because this often leads to some pretty amazing things. Our being and our body and our access to the divine knows far more than we often make space to understand or allow for. And I also make this a practice in my own life of really listening. And I found that the more I listen, the easier it has become to trust it and surrender to it. And the surrendering to it was not without discomfort. Um, yes, a month-long vacation from the fast pace of work sounds amazing, right? But truthfully, it wasn't without struggle. My mind, I realized, can find struggle in anything, it seems. There's always a gift in the struggle. And for this month, there were many. One of the gifts that I discovered, and honestly, I still think I'm in the process of discovery. So, but I really wanted to share this with you kind of while I'm in the middle of it. But one of them was to see, like to have the space and the calm to actually see my hyperachiever brain and busy body energy and what a wild donkey it is. It was quite uncomfortable at times. The discomfort of the space and not having a hundred things to do. I really was able to see my obsession with busyness and doing. There were times where I felt very empty, like I really did empty my brain in this time and had way more space and calm in my life. And that being empty at times felt uncomfortable. There was boredom or fear of boredom, is probably more like it, freaking out about what I was going to do because I didn't have this structure that filled my life for me. And there were times that I honestly felt purposeless and had to deal with that. I filled the time that was normally spent being busy with things like reading and writing. I wrote every single day. I spent more time cooking or more time sitting and having a conversation with Quentin or with friends or family. I spent more time resting or taking a nap when I wanted to. And as I did these things, my brain started to calm down. The energy inside of me inside of me started to quiet. And it was in the the calming of all of that that the real gifts emerged. And those were being able to just plop down on the couch next to Quentin and with no place to go and nothing to do, and just be surprised by what conversation emerged from that. We actually enjoyed quite a few Netflix series, which this might sound um not like a lot, but to a girl who honestly, for my entire life, I did not like TV as a kid. I would ask my friends before I went to their house, you promise you, I would make them promise that they wouldn't watch TV if I came over. Is that ridiculous? So I did not like TV. I never have. This was actually a gift to have the space and time to sit down and just kind of escape in my mind into another world. And that was really delightful. We saw two movies, uh, embarrassed to mit, but it has been hard over the years for me to stop and go to a movie sometimes, which sounds ridiculous. But for me as an entrepreneur, it's always like this trade of time. And I had this, you know, hyperachiever monster saboteur on my shoulder always telling me that I needed to be working. I need to be working. It was beautiful to just go and spend time and uh see movies. I've actually been joining that or learning that I enjoy a lot of other things in life outside of my work. The feeling of sitting on the couch and or snuggling next to Quentin or hanging out with Shane, our son, or being on FaceTime with Tom, our other son, and not have any feeling of or energy pulling me anywhere else was delightful. I felt the space to be more thoughtful when I was responding to a text or had had the time to answer a call and go deep with a friend. We went to an art museum, we had a staycation, I went hiking with a friend, I browsed around stores, I picked back up my writing practice, which is a whole nother podcast episode. I read a book and I was just more present to the little moments of my life. I found that I was doing less with more of me. I came to my coaching calls more alive and rejuvenated. And when I did work on something in my business, I felt more there with more energy. There was always time to be more thoughtful, available without the pressure of the clock behind me, whether I was responding to a text, cooking a meal, or taking a walk. I realized that I don't want to go back to that frantic, hurried, busy energy. And that I want to be very intentional about what I put back on the canvas of my working life, that many of the things I was busy doing don't make a difference or move the needle and they can be eliminated. This is a practice. It's something I've been working on for a lot of years in my life, continues to be a practice and a journey. I want to talk for a minute about building a life differently. That requires challenging how you once thought things had to be or look like, and I've had to do that. Building a life that belongs to you, that's unique, that's true to your own values, and may not look like your neighbors, it takes courage. It takes getting uncomfortable. And we hear people talking about work-life balance everywhere and may even find yourself craving it. What I've always believed is that the quest for balance actually leaves us unfulfilled and feeling like we aren't there because the expectation that we can sustain this idea of balance, it's not realistic. Balance is a state of being on the inside, and it's not another achievement. Balance is like a cycle or it's ever moving and ever changing. And the quest for it can actually cause us to miss the moments where balance exists in the here and now. So I invite you to pay attention to your own season of life and what is calling, what is calling you, what balance would look like right now for you. And I think this month for me has revealed some steps that you can take if you're looking for more life balance. The first one is listen to the internal nudges, be curious about it, investigate it. Just like this conversation Quentin and I had, this desire for vacation, it was an indicator of something else. And so look inside for that. What is nudging you? Number two, challenge the hyper-achiever brain. This idea that you need to be moving, achieving, producing, checking something off the list. Try putzing, try lounging, try following your energy or sitting peacefully, reading a book, making time to read a book, or be playful in some way. Things that create and allow for brain rest, walks, longer chats with loved ones. The scripture, peace be still, was just kind of this beacon for me all month long. And I imagined every time I said that to myself, this big ocean of energy inside of me and getting quiet enough to calm the internal waters. It was really effective. Number three, eliminate unnecessary busyness. And the way that I did this was to clear out all those things that I was doing that weren't absolutely necessary. Get a little uncomfortable here. Do the what if? What if I could do this? What if this could look like this? What if I could move these things around? Use the what if to create uh mobility for yourself. Number four, be innovative and relentless in creating what works in your life. When you hit a wall like I did, like we can't go on vacation, instead of feeling defeated and resigned, look around the corner for another outlet. Create another corner with an outlet. And number five, start small. It doesn't have to be a month. Start with a day or a week. It could mean for you shutting off your computer at 5 p.m. every day this week. It could mean taking a lunch break for real and sitting outside or doing a mini exercise something midday to take better care of your energy. Listen to what this is for you. There isn't a one-size-fits-all. Years ago, when I was in my late 20s, I remember browsing around a store or a mall with my mom and having conversation. And she said to me, Relax. And it bothered me so much at the time. I felt that she didn't understand my desire to always be learning and growing and stretching and achieving. I think I'm finally beginning to understand what mom meant. There's more to life, and it's not out there, it's right here. When I relax and peace be still, what I was seeking through the running arrives in the here and now. And I can still do all the things my heart feels called to do without that hyper achiever energy and pace. She is so wise, and I miss her so much. She passed away two years ago, and I think about her every day and how wise she was. So what I'm carrying forward, this isn't a once and done, this is a journey, and it's still unwinding, my friends, and it continues. But I am going to take these learnings into my life, into this next month. And I want to invite you to innovate in your own life. Look for what your life is calling for in this moment. What's the what's something that is standing out to you from what I've shared today? And is there one action or one experiment experiment you could begin to honor that nudge inside? Will you please give the podcast a five-star rating today and take a screenshot where you are and share it with your tribe? We want to grow the podcast and make it available to others. Thank you so much. I hope that you have an extraordinary kind of day, and I will see you next week. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, hit follow on your favorite podcast app and this episode and talk to someone you know. Please share it and pass it along. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.
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