Differently
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How One Leap Changed Everything
Have you ever stood at the edge of a choice, feeling both exhilarated and terrified? That's exactly where I found myself when a bucket list dream suddenly became a real possibility. Skydiving had always been something I wanted to experience "someday," but when my skydiving brother-in-law extended an actual invitation, I froze.
What followed was a battle between desire and fear, between adventure and what I convinced myself was responsible motherhood. Until a friend said one thing that changed everything.
This episode explores the power of everyday courage and the opportunities to leap that show up every day and how taking small leaps can lead to important change and momentum.
Whether you're feeling stuck in your career, relationships, or personal growth, this episode will expand your thinking and inspire new strategies for interrupting the status quo.
Enjoy!
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Thank you for listening!
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. What if you worried less about the bumps in the road and instead got equipped for the journey? Get ready to rethink what's possible. It had been on my bucket list for years, but when the opportunity was right in front of me, I froze. Anytime I heard the word skydive, it sent a burst of energy through my body. My thoughts soared at the thought of having had that experience. I knew someday I wanted to be someone who had the courage to take such an extraordinary leap of faith, but I never imagined the day would actually come.
Speaker 1:My brother-in-law is a skydiver. In fact, he actually ran a drop zone in Cushing, oklahoma, and years ago I'd always told my husband if I was ever going to skydive, I would do it with Jack. About 10 years ago, the phone rang. My husband was calling me from work to say that Jack the skydiver had invited us to spend summer vacation at the lake with his family and that at the latter part of the trip. We'd head to the drop zone and if I wanted to skydive I could do this. Yeah, let's, that sounds great, babe, that sounds great. We hung up the phone and I thought, oh crap, my head was spinning here. I had been saying for years I wanted to skydive and now the opportunity was actually here. Truth be told, part of me inside was leaping yes, and the other part of me wanted to rewind and delete everything I had said. My mind raced from yes to absolutely no, and every nook and cranny in between to absolutely no, and every nook and cranny in between. As you probably know, at this time I had two young boys and I was married and, yes, it was on my bucket list, but now I was the mom of two precious young boys. A lot had changed.
Speaker 1:A few days passed and I landed on a firm and confident note. I told myself it would be the most careless and irresponsible thing I could ever do as a mother. In my head I thought, oh oh no. What if the parachute didn't open? What if I died? What if my boys saw the whole thing? What would people think? That would be the most irresponsible thing I could do as a mother. This was my story and I was sticking to it, fully and completely justified right.
Speaker 1:My husband listened to all my spinning thoughts over the days after and several days later the phone rang and it was Kim, a friend, coach and business partner at the time Sidebar. My husband had reached out to her because he knew she could get through to me and she said hey, carla, I hear you guys are headed to Oklahoma and going to go to the lake with your family and that you have an opportunity to go skydiving, but you're not doing it. And that you have an opportunity to go skydiving, but you're not doing it. And I launched into all my ultra responsible thinking and told her that would be the most irresponsible thing I could ever do as a mother. And she said 13 words that I will never forget. Never forget what if your greatest responsibility as a mother is to show your children how to live fully? Her words literally stunned me. All the thinking I had been doing fell to the ground. She gave me a gift in that moment. She returned me to myself and who I had declared myself to be in the world. After all, at that time, I was a coach. I was helping leaders break through their own self-imposed barriers to live more fully. And here I was completely locked down in my own. Completely locked down in my own. I left the call with a lot to think about. Kim's words knocked down all the fear in me long enough to pause and reconsider skydiving, or maybe even consider it for the first time In the coming days and weeks leading up to our trip. I'd remember my bigger purpose and I promised myself that I wasn't going to make a decision, so I wasn't a no or a yes, but that I would just trust my instincts, pray about it and know that I the the right choice would reveal itself. I'm not going to lie. I wrestled with bucket loads of fear and the idea of being irresponsible over and over again.
Speaker 1:Fast forward four days into our vacation. We're on the boat, we're fishing, relaxing, connecting, laying in the sunshine, and in the back of my mind the questions were relentless. Was I going to jump out of the plane? Was it the right thing to do? What would others think? Would I live? What if I died? And on and on and on. The moment of truth had almost arrived. It was the last day on the lake and I had a very restless night of sleep, tossing and turning in my bed and in my mind.
Speaker 1:The next morning we hopped in the car and drove four hours to the drop zone, my mind racing, my stomach churning. In the midst of the uncertainty in the car. I don't remember exactly what point it was, but all of a sudden a very different kind of vision began to surface and I began to imagine the parachute lifting and my feet hitting the ground, seeing my boys and husband below waving to me as I was soaring down, and the smiles, the exhilaration, the storytelling and the knowledge that I'd taken an ultimate leap of faith. Once I imagined it working out, everything began to shift. We spotted the drop zone from the road a white structure with the word skydive in big red letters. We circled around and parked the car and made our way out to the front. The place was buzzing. People were sitting around on couches watching and waiting for their loved ones to take their big leap. My eyes landed on the electronic listing of skydivers for the day. I'd already been put on the schedule One hour from then. I was scheduled to take my big jump. My niece actually ran the drop zone at the time and she took the liberty of putting me on the board, even though I hadn't fully committed. I still thank her for that.
Speaker 1:Today the mental struggle was over. Excitement began to stir. My niece helped me gear up goggles and straps and all, and I met my tandem jumper, who happened to be a very normal looking dad. It was really comforting thinking that if a dad can be out there every weekend jumping, surely I could do this once. We hopped on the golf cart and headed for Jack's plane. Being Jack's sister-in-law, I got quotes, special treatment not exactly the special treatment I was looking for, but I got to sit co-pi in the plane while all the other skydivers piled in the back, and I soon found out that I would be going up a few thousand feet higher than the others to take my jump. So we began to make our ascent up.
Speaker 1:They got to the spot where all the other skydivers jumped out of the plane and we were heading up further. So it became my time to scoot out of the copay seat on my butt and inch my way towards the four foot door that was wide open. My tandem was behind me and he buckled me in securely. He proceeded to put his hands on my shoulders in motion to me that we would first lean out of the plane, then back in, and on the third time we'd literally just fall out of the plane.
Speaker 1:It was in this moment that I at last surrendered completely, said a prayer and trusted falling, falling, falling, fierce, fierce wind whipping the skin on my cheeks. I had no thoughts other than making sure my hands and my feet were in the right position. No thought of when the parachute was going to open. I was just in it and then suddenly a jolt and the parachute opened. It then felt like a roller coaster, floating and diving down to the ground, and then I saw my husband and boys below watching and waving, just like I had imagined in my mind.
Speaker 1:Relief, exhilaration and aliveness set in and my feet hit the ground. It turned out just as I had imagined. In that one unique, extraordinary stream of thought, I will never forget the complete, uninhibited exhilaration and joy that filled my entire being. The physical sensation lasted for hours, and that experience will stay with me forever and is a constant reminder that living fully requires getting uncomfortable. Living fully requires getting uncomfortable. What we desire is often, on the other side of very convincing and fear-inducing thoughts, that clear, intentional choices come from using all of our senses and faculties, and that the opportunities to skydive exist right in the moments of our everyday life and that when we're willing to leap, pure aliveness and joy and the things that we desire are waiting for us right on the other side.
Speaker 1:My purpose is to ignite change, and today I work with ambitious leaders who are ready to make true change in their lives so that they can level up their energy and their impact and their everyday fulfillment. And what I know is that the barriers that showed up for me in this skydiving experience leading up to it are the very same barriers that show up in everyday life. I want to share with you three of the barriers and talk about some of the ways that we can leap in our everyday life. So the first barrier is the someday illusion, and I talk about this more in depth in episode three, so you can circle back in the podcast, but you could see it in my story. Someday I wanted to go skydiving and it breaks my heart to see people putting their lives off, because you know what? That someday may never arrive, and it's easy to fall into the idea that when we retire, when the kids are grown, when we lose that 20 pounds, then we'll really start living. But the truth is that your life will begin to change when you take an active part in doing different to change it, and so it's normal and easy to fall into this, but it's something that I check myself regularly on, and I want to encourage you to do the same. What is it that you're putting off for someday? And you might just jot that down?
Speaker 1:So the second thing that showed up and you saw it in my story was fear, and fear has so many faces. We know that we need fear for obvious reasons and basic survival, like hands on a hot stove or walking into traffic. We're very grateful for this built in system to avoid actual danger. Haha, I know, jumping out of a plane was dangerous, but that survival fear is not the fear that we're talking about in our everyday lives, and those faces of fear can be come in the form of fear of failure, fear of death, fear of heartbreak, fear of not looking good and fear of embarrassment, and so fear to survive. Danger is real and necessary, but I want you to consider that the other fear is an alarm system in our body saying potential danger.
Speaker 1:It's a monster in disguise and not as strong as it looks, and while we all want to get rid of fear, therein lies one of our biggest problems is that I don't think we ever get rid of it. It's always going to be there, and so, instead of running from it, what if you sat down and got to know it and the many ways that it shows up in your life to derail you? But no more running away from it, but instead learning to walk with it in your life, without letting it run the show and control you. And as you do this, it will loosen its grip and when you accept it, know that it's going to be there. It will not control you like it once did. And so the truth is it's an alert system that requires all of your senses and faculties to really discern and make an aligned choice for your life.
Speaker 1:The third one is limited thinking. You know, in all truth, in my story the leap, the fall out of the plane was the easy part. I know that sounds crazy, but the grueling part was leading up to that. The choice wasn't really whether I was going to go skydiving or not. It was whether I was going to let the fear and the noise in my mind call the shots. You could hear it in my story, I locked myself in with tons of mental gymnastics justifying why I couldn't do it, you know, with thoughts of you know this would be the most irresponsible thing that I could ever do, and it took really standing back to examine that and examine the whole thing that I could actually step outside of that thinking box to actually make a choice. So knowing all of this doesn't mean it goes away, right. But if you know these things are going to show up, you can expect them, and when they do show up and you're facing something meaningful, big and important, you won't be surprised and you can prepare accordingly so that these barriers no longer choose for you. You get to choose, and so life beyond these requires doing differently, doing differently, and you don't have to be extroverted, fearless or super outgoing.
Speaker 1:I want to invite you into the idea of everyday leaping. This has nothing to do with skydiving and it's everyday. Leaping is for people who are committed to something bigger for their life and willing to show up in the face of your feelings for the sake of something much bigger. And I have to believe that, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, this is you. So the first step how do we do that? Interrupt the thinking. Like I said, expect that the fear is going to show up. Pause to examine your thinking and remember it's not you Broaden your perspective. Look from different angles. Have people in your life, like the Kim in my life and my husband in my life, who were really standing for my bigger commitments. Have people in your life that do that for you, my bigger commitments. Have people in your life that do that for you. And the opportunity here and you saw it in my stories when you get your thinking moving in the direction of your dreams, watch out. A lot shifted as that happened. The second one is leverage your imagination and so, instead of considering only considering all the things that could go wrong, start to ask yourself what could go right. And that was that moment in my story, driving in the car, where suddenly, that my imagination started to look at what if it went right, what if it went well? And so that's a powerful shift in perspective and that's one you can create for yourself.
Speaker 1:Number three choose intentionally. Quiet your mind, consider all the options, pause to discern, call on all your senses and faculties to make a choice that is right for you, versus letting your fear, just immediately shut it down. Number four let your commitment lead the way, knowing that, knowing your larger commitments in life, you know, in that moment when Kim handed me back to myself and basically said, what if your greatest responsibility is to live your life fully for your children, in that moment I knew this is who I declare myself to be and I had a moment of choice Was I going to show up as the mom and person and coach that I commit myself to being? Am I going to align my actions to that, or am I going to let fear run the show? When fear shows up, it's your reminder to pause, broaden your perspective, call on all your faculties. It doesn't mean you will do it or say yes, but it's your opportunity to really discern versus assume that fear is right.
Speaker 1:I have a deep desire for adventure, and while skydives and hikes into the Grand Canyon are amazing, I'm even more interested in the deep, rich, creative adventures that await all of us Every morning we wake up and throughout the day, and so I want you to start thinking about everyday skydives and what that might mean for you, because, while lots of us want big changes in our life, what I know to be true is that big changes can feel overwhelming and unrealistic and often just get pushed out to someday. But when you start to focus on the tiny moments of your life and shifting the way you show up to them, those little shifts and changes ripple to the larger changes that you want. And that can begin with 20 seconds of courage and a leap can begin with 20 seconds of courage and a leap. So let's talk about just a few examples of where a leap could come into play. So consider these challenges like being tired of not having any work-life balance, or feeling stuck at work and dreaming that things will be better somewhere else, or feeling frustrated by lopsided relationships where you're always the one giving. So some potential leaps in these areas of life could be with regard to no work-life balance.
Speaker 1:Maybe you make a different choice today. So, instead of feeling frustrated by no work-life balance, what could you do today that would give you a feeling of balance in your life? And what if you started doing one thing every day that gives you the experience of more balance? It will happen in the moments, in those little moments where you create a little bit of balance are going to grow and become larger, to creating balance in your life. So it's really does begin with one simple step and taking responsibility for creating that sense of balance right where you are.
Speaker 1:So the second one was about feeling stuck in a job and thinking things would be better somewhere else. So what if? What if, today, you actually took action on that? What if you gave yourself permission to actually explore other jobs? This often will happen with clients where I'll be like give it, just give yourself permission to go, look, go explore, see what's out there. Give yourself freedom to actually make that change. And what I know is that sometimes, when you do that, you actually, when you have the freedom to leave, you actually find that you want to stay or you discover something that helps you take that next step to actually leave.
Speaker 1:And the third one frustrated by lopsided relationships, because you're always the one giving. What if you began with one relationship in your life and started making some new moves in that relationship? What if you started to teach that person in your life how to be in relationship with you? Now, and you can do that with a ton of loving kindness, you know, we have to realize that we've taught people how to be in relationship with us up until this point, whether we realized it or not, but it's never too late to say, hey, I know I've always done that, but I can't do that anymore. And here's what I can do, and so you can start to make some new moves in that relationship and again, little small, courageous leaps.
Speaker 1:So remember the day on the phone when Kim said to me what if your greatest responsibility as a mom is to live your life fully? I want you to just take that into your own life. What does that mean to you? How does that translate? What do you hear in that for yourself? And who do you want to be in your everyday life when it comes to work relationships, parenting, marriage? What if you let your larger commitments lead the way more of the time? And what leaps can you make in the coming moments and days that will reflect these choices? So here's to everyday skydiving. And remember it's for you, people who are committed to something bigger in their life and willing to show up in the face of their feelings for something much larger. So take a moment to make a list of all the ideas that stirred as you were listening to this podcast and get leaping into your everyday life.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. It's been an honor to share this conversation with you. You know, one of the keys to living fully is to take action when you're inspired to do so. I hope you found that spark of inspiration today and would you help us spread the word. Did someone you know come to mind while you were listening? If this episode could impact someone you know, please share it and pass it along. New episodes drop weekly, so tap that subscribe button and join us next time as we continue to challenge the status quo and get equipped to live life differently.