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Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
Stop surviving your life. Start creating it.
Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
What The Go-Giver Taught Us
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Take a front-row seat in our Differently Mastermind. Enjoy this unscripted conversation about the book, The Go-Giver by Bob Burg & John David Mann and how shifting from striving to serving is changing the way we do business and life.
Enjoy!
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A Different Kind Of Mastermind
SPEAKER_03A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Today we're doing something different. I want to invite you into our mastermind. Um, gosh, we've been doing this mastermind. I has it been a couple years, you guys, almost something around there. Let me see your yeah.
SPEAKER_0120 looks like uh number one call was November 3rd of 2023.
SPEAKER_03It's been two years. No, it's been two years. Oh, this is perfect. So we're celebrating our anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. So about two years ago, I invited my guests here today to do a mastermind. We didn't really know what we were creating, but it's not an ordinary mastermind. And every time I feel like it's a little bit different, but it's always conversation that fuels our um our lives, our business. We talk all kinds of things. We talk business, we talk life, we talk dreams and adventure, um, and
Two-Year Milestone And Intent
SPEAKER_03we read books together. And today we thought it would be really fun to bring you into the conversation. We just finished the book called The Go Giver. And we just want to we just want to share what we're getting from this today. And so we're just gonna bring you into our last conversation about the book um and the five stratosphere stratospheric laws of success. So we read the Go Giver. Um, gosh, I don't even have it in front of me to say the authors. Do one of you have the authors?
SPEAKER_01Bob Berg and John
Meet Kelly And Bob
SPEAKER_01David Mann.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So good. So I have Kelly Marshall and Bob Parsons here, and they have both been on the podcast at least once before. Um, so Kelly, why don't you start by just giving us a little introduction about you and what you do and kind of maybe your the season of your business? Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, so uh yeah, I'm Kelly Marshall. I'm in Buffalo, New York, and I'm really passionate about um working with conscious companies, purpose-driven people, and um working with them on money. And I really want to help them make more money and keep more of their money and really feel good about kind of that flow of money in their lives and their business. Um and I now have a team of nine um that help me. And we provide bookkeeping services and financial coaching um to conscious business owners, conscious entrepreneurs. Sometimes they have a team themselves, sometimes it's just um solopreneurs.
SPEAKER_03Yay! And Kelly has been my bookkeeper for for years. I don't even know how many people. And you were one of my first. Yes. So awesome. So excited. Um, okay, Bob, how about you?
SPEAKER_01Okay, first I have to correct. Um, I think our first mastermind was like May, April or May of 2024. Okay. I was looking at our first coaching meeting with Carla, who was my coach who helped me get started uh with my business. So I'm an executive coach. I work with mid-level leaders and above. I do mainly one-on-one, and I love I help people move from great to extraordinary through coaching and conversations. And I do see keynotes, I do some public speaking, I do some work custom workshops, but everything I do is custom for leaders and their teams.
Why The Go-Giver Landed Now
SPEAKER_01And Carl, like I said, Carla was um instrumental in getting my mind sorted out. I'll call a lot of mind traffic around going on my own and leaving corporate. And then Kelly has just been this super transparent, amazing, open person on our mastermind. That every time I get on a call with you all, I like, oh my gosh, I tell my wife, you got to hear what we talked about today.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's so I always I credit you and Carla for asking the best questions I've ever been asked. So I think you guys have a way of of supporting us to draw out that conversation that's just really powerful.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, not everybody's here today, but like it's just been so good. We were talking this morning just as we started. Like, just we when we started, we all felt like a little bit alone as entrepreneurs and on an island kind of operating, and these conversations have just been so life-giving. Um okay, so the go-giver. Um, we've all just been wowed by this book. I I had read it before and read it a second time and was equally as wowed, if not more. But let's just kind of start like, so we finished it. Like, what what was kind of what was striking you as you finished it? Like what was standing out to you the most just as you read this book, kind of from a high-level perspective. And Kelly, I know you had like mind-blowing insights that first call.
SPEAKER_02I think we were supposed to read the first three chapters. So I just want to say too, I was told to read this book when I first started my business, probably in this version of the business started in 2018. Um, and I was told to read the book then, and I remember being like, oh yeah, and I probably even ordered it, couldn't find that copy when it was our time to read it. But um I never did, and I just think I wasn't ready yet at that time, and that you know, I've done a lot of work and kind of the energy of money and law of attraction, and and so many other books that I've read in that world, but this was so different and so practical, and I was just inspired by every page. And um, so we read the first three chapters, and I came back and I'm like, guys, like my mind is blown right now. And then we decided coming out of your skin. Like, it
Rebuilding Community With Giving
SPEAKER_02was so cool. Well, and and um, I don't know if I should share that part now, but I was inspired. I literally with that morning, and you with the help of um Chat GPT, reenvisioned um a big part of my business, but also of um my Facebook group, which I had been like trying to find an answer to like how to serve in there in a new way. It had gone kind of dormant. I had shifted some things. It it started out of is actually a book club and a really supportive, lovely space, and and it grew with some incredible people. And I always loved everybody in there, and I used to show up once a week for training and like to provide a training video. And at some point it just um fizzled out a little bit for me. And I but I I still wanted to be in there and providing value and loving on the group, but I couldn't find a way. I mean, literally, probably for two years I've been searching for this and it and after reading, I don't did I finish the book by the time I did that. I don't think I finished maybe I have I don't think you had. I don't think I'd finished it. And I started this um brainstorming with ChatGPT about how to create a group using those principles, and it blew me away and it was everything I wanted. And we've implemented that since then. So our last call was probably three weeks ago, and we already have it in place in the group, and it's the changes are happening, and it's um it just was so aligned and so authentic and just felt so good. So that was what inspired me to do, and then I devoured the rest of the book in between like when we decided we were gonna finish it for our next meeting. I read it that day. Um it's it's just so good and it's so aligned for people that like everybody in our little mastermind is purpose-driven. We care about the value we're delivering, we care about the people we're working with, we care about the world. Um, and this just gave me a formula to be able to be me and and do work the purpose of my heart, but do it in a way that also was really good for my team and my business and my clients. And yeah, it just felt good. That's so beautiful, Kelly.
SPEAKER_03So I want to make sure, is that a it can any is that an open community? Like we can put the link in the show notes. Okay, so make sure you send that. And if you want to share it right now, share it. Yeah, it's uh just on Facebook and it's um purpose.
SPEAKER_02Wait, no, I don't want to say it wrong. Oh my god, I say it all the time, and all of a sudden I like question myself prosperous and profitable conscious entrepreneurs. So proper prosperous and profitable conscious entrepreneurs.
SPEAKER_03So check out her Facebook group that was like really re-inspired, right, by this book.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's just kind of kicking back, kicking back up, and um I'm excited to see where it goes. And it's all about collaboration and connection and supporting each other. Um, not just about me giving money trainings. I'm sure there'll be some of that in there, but it's really more about the connection of everybody in the group and getting just being with each other and um
Alignment, Fear, And Leaving Corporate
SPEAKER_02yeah. That's beautiful. Supporting each other.
SPEAKER_03I love that. So awesome. Okay, Bob. How about you? Like high-level what struck you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So for for for Kelly, for me, it was alignment. I mean, it just reaffirmed and confirmed what I was doing and why I'm doing it. I left, I've been in corporate, um, uh, someone executive coach, right? And I've left corporate. I made a big decision. My head was a mess. I mean, a total mess because my biggest fear, whenever anyone would ask me, was getting laid off or not being able to provide for my family. And then here I was at the edge of another opportunity, I'll call it. Uh, my wife had been telling me for years go on your own. Why are you not on your own? My friends have been telling me. And then I do remember now, it isn't exactly the same words, but this was the essence of what I heard from my coach Carla. And she said something to the effect of, okay, so you've been laid off three times, you're on the edge of it happening again. Um, your biggest fear is losing your work and you want to go back into that life. Exactly. That's exactly. I was laughing hysterically at myself. Because when you say something out loud that's in your head and you realize how smart it is or how stupid it is, and that was pretty stupid. And so now I was at the dilemma of what am I gonna do? Am I doing really gonna go on my own? This is just crazy. So again, plug, by the way, we're not getting paid for this. No, we're not getting any, you know, uh, what do you call royalties off of recommending this book? But Carla helped me kind of design and I heard a podcast, and by the way, I was looking back at my journal. By the way, um, Carla helped me really slow down my mind and take a breath. I think Kelly, you would agree on this one, and really think through what I was thinking. Think through what I was thinking and verbalize it in a way that, ooh, okay. So that's what coaching is. It helps you slow down your thinking to a place where your brain gets more oxygen and you can make better decisions. And so, okay, I know this is going somewhere with the book here. So I heard a podcast by John A. John A. Cuff was interviewing Tim Schurer, who worked for Donald Miller, uh, you know, the the designer chief, see whatever it was, his CEO of Story Brands. And some I was trying to work with Carl, like, okay, what's really, why am I doing this? What's the purpose? What's the value that's driven here? And Tim said something on that podcast that just resonated with me, and it was something I was looking for, which was what if success was helping the about helping the other person win? And if you look at the goal giver, that's the message here. The message is giving extra value, going above and beyond, getting out of myself and not worrying about my next check and the next gig and the oh my gosh, what's gonna happen? Um, and so talking through and reading about every every time I'd read a chapter, I'd go, ooh, that's yeah, that's it. That's exactly
Serving To Win And Compensation
SPEAKER_01it. Oh my gosh, yes, that captures why I'm doing this. It was such a huge affirmation of going from, okay, I think this is the right, and I look over my first three and a half years, I don't even know how I've paid the bill. All I know is that I've done, I've made more than just pay the bills. I'm doing really pretty good for my first three years on my own. And I look at it as a these five laws of what he what stratospheric success is encaptured in my mindset of focusing on how can I help the other person win, serving. You read this book and it talks about serving others. Um, so that's really been kind of the the launching pad for me, the consistent theme for me. It aligns with who I am. I'm a man of faith, and at the core of me is I just want to help everybody be awesome.
SPEAKER_03So cool. You can just feel like the energy both of you sharing, you can just feel like it just like so deeply resonates, right? With like this is how it is, like this just feels good. This is aligns, like you said, alignment. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I I just feel like you affirmed because that to me to distill down what I want the Facebook group to be, like, how do we just help each other win? Like that's the that's the heart of it, but I've never said it that way. So I really appreciate that. That's how you, you know, that you got it from that podcast, but that you shared that here, and and that's that's really the key.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then the rest comes from there, right? That people feel your value, they they they want to get in and and work with you and and see what other gifts you have and and benefit from you helping them win. Um, but it comes from your intention behind that. Um, and the rest works out.
SPEAKER_01Can I speak to the second one? Carla, the law of compensation. Sure. I'll I'll just tell you that one of my demons has always been money. And Carla knows this from my marriage. My wife said, whenever I say I buy something, what's your first question? How much did it cost? Now I'm probably talking to 95% of the male population out there, but because of how I mean, because of how I grew up and and my focus on providing, I was it. I was the only one. I just had this over um dependence on my checkbook and where the next money was. That's why I was in a corporate job. So I need steady income, right? And now I'm in not steady income uh phase of my life. But I'm gonna tell you that that that really focusing on how can I help the other person win totally 100% turned me away from thinking about when's my next check coming in? When's my next gig? How am I gonna make it through the next three to six months? My wife said this to me. She said this, this was just like literally three months ago. She said, Hey, how are we doing financially? And I said, Well, we're gonna be good for the next three months, we're in good shape. And she goes, she she was in shock. She just kind of froze and she goes, What did you say? Well, we said we're good for the next three months.
SPEAKER_03She goes, Did you repeat that?
SPEAKER_01I know I didn't. And she said, My my old Bob would
The Law Of Value In Practice
SPEAKER_01have been freaking out that we only had three months worth of income coming in, and you're going, Oh yeah, we'll be good.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna be good for the next three months. And I got some other opportunities.
SPEAKER_01So good. So being able to just this law of compensation that your income is determined by how many people you serve. I have just gone above and beyond the duty, and I'm, you know, I think Kelly and I will be able to share and Carla the instances and the situations where we have gone above and beyond the call of duty with no intention of expectation of something back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, I think for me, finishing the book was like it was a definitely a reminder because I had read it before. But it was like I've been in a season, I feel like, where God has been like saying, like, you're here to serve, but it it's not just in your business. Like, I think I used to always look to my business to like serve and impact there. And not that I wasn't doing it in other places, but like it just he's just been showing me like you're here to serve in all kinds of places. And like I just need you to be available. And reading this just reminded me again of that. And also just like you were saying, Bob, like just a reminder to like get out of the way, shift the focus, right? Like anytime I go to speak, if I'm focused on me and worried about me, then I feel all nervous and unsure and like I feel like I got to get it all right. And when I remember, this isn't about you, this is about them, this is about the people in the room, it completely shifts my posture. And I think that's what happened with me reading the book is like it just reminded me of this posture to approach business and life with. And it's just like like you both have said, it just feels aligned, it feels right. So good. Um, so let's kind of dive into each one just a little bit and share and share or even brainstorm. Like if there's a place in your business that you're like, I want to apply this, but like what does that look like? We can help each other, like whatever comes up for you. Um, and let's start with the law of value. So the the law of value um is stated as your worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment. So what does this look like in your business? Or just just share what comes up for you. Like I you guys, you guys are so good at this. Like, it's better to just be inspired. Like, what inspired you around that? Or what has it got you thinking about?
SPEAKER_02There's a piece that I don't I was definitely inspired by, and it's a little bit of the law of value and a little bit of the law of authenticity, probably a little more of the law of authenticity. So part of me wants to save it, but I'm just gonna share it because it's coming to mind about in my business. I'm I've been trying to find a way to be um to to still be able to scale, but provide excellent value and serve the people that are important to me. And I I feel a little bit, and I I should be careful with my language around this, I feel like, but I just um that's where I'm at in the moment with it, where I've kind of like fought to to keep this space that I've had in my business with coaches I've worked with in the accounting space and other places where I I've really um wanted to work with who I wanted to work with and I wanted to find a way to serve them well. And I feel like it's a group that I was told many times I couldn't be profitable with, and I just didn't believe in that. And um and a big piece of that is, you know, balancing that, like really wanting to provide a good value, um, but make it profitable for us and scalable. And and um there, so I've been working with that, and there was a piece where um people
Boundaries, Balance, And Burnout Checks
SPEAKER_02were given a choice to take out a part if they wanted to pay a lower price or they could pay a higher price. And and in in doing that, I think for in some ways I can see the benefit of it, but I also think it lost a little of the value and and it lost a little of my voice in there. So I'm I'm working on finding a way to um to bring that value back in and still make it equitable for us and valuable, not equitable, but valuable, scalable for us, um, appropriate for us, but also providing the value to the client. So I don't know my answer to that yet. Um, but I know I have a desire for that. And it it may just be a different um frequency of how often that's given. So part of it's I do these videos for people's reports, and you know, maybe it can be less frequent at that level, but still be there, you know. I think that could be important or um, you know, I'm still working on it, but that it's really important because I do feel like we've always given a really good value, and but I think that was more of a an important part of it than I realized at the time. Um, and so we're just reevaluating that. Yeah, that's so cool.
SPEAKER_01How about you, Carl? How about you? Once you're the you're the host of the podcast, the host of the podcast usually goes last. So I'm gonna see.
SPEAKER_03All right. Um, yeah, the law of value. Um, I think that this is something that I have operated on for a long time. But like when you focus on it, it just has me thinking about like, how else could that look, you know, or or even just highlighting those things or remembering kind of like you, Kelly, like that video was important. Like even the last couple of weeks, like I've done, like just sent like a random, unexpected text to clients and realized that like those little things are big things. Um, and they're they're yeah, sometimes the I guess the little things can be the big things and just remembering those and not letting the busyness or like just too much on your plate kind of like push those away without even realizing you let those things go. So I've been trying to bring those things back. But the other thing that this one has also brought up for me is I have been, um, I think you both know, like involved with another community and like giving a lot of my time um without compensation because we're kind of feeling this out and we're not sure where it's gonna go and like it feels very aligned, but I want your guys' input is like, how do you know when it's off balance or like it's too much, right? Because I think even like listeners of this show, like how often do we, and myself included and maybe you two is like we get off balance or we give,
Feedback As Receptivity
SPEAKER_03like we're we're out of balance in the giving, right? Because sometimes we can we're so good at the giving and we're not good at the receiving, which is the other law, the law of receptivity, which oh my gosh, the line that struck me in the book on the law of receptivity was that when you stop receiving or are closed to receiving, you stop the flow. And like I can't wait to get to that one. But, anyways, I'd love what you guys think about that.
SPEAKER_02That's this is so funny. This is the I feel like this is the only, I just looked to see if I highlighted anything. Literally, the only thing I highlighted in the book was all the giving in the world won't bring success, won't create the results you want unless you also make yourself willing and able to receive in like measure. That's my only annotation. Just that's the story. I thought I was highlighting everything. Apparently not. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Well, that was kind of the only thing like I've grappled with in the book, right? But when you just said that, what I got is that sometimes we can get tripped up, like we're giving, we're putting so much energy here, pouring so much energy here, and we're maybe looking for something to come back, like a flow here, instead of realizing that the flow is coming back over in this other direction. Yeah. And like to maybe not worry about that. I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_01I'll say law of receptivity, and maybe I was thinking differently about it because I'm always looking for feedback. And how do you continue to grow yourself? How do you continue to develop your business? How do you continue to be innovative and creative? Number one, you get your brain in a in a focused state, which you talked about, Carl, which I call that focused intention. You know, I have so many leaders who say to me, Well, Bob, I'm trying. No, there's no such thing as trying. You are either doing or you're not doing. And then how do you know if you're doing? Who's gonna tell you whether or not you have a sense that you're doing it? But do the receivers of what you're doing, would they say, Yeah, he's doing it or she's doing it, right? So this receptivity thing, I'll just give you a quick story. This happened just recently. Um, I've I've got five or six really cool business partners who find me work, and I just love the variety that I get to do. And I do some 360 debriefs, and I've been doing them now for three and a half years, and I've never had bad feedback until a week ago. And so I, you know, we have some choices here that in terms of receptivity, how receptive am I communicating to my business partners and to my clients what I'm preaching, which is you are only as good as how often and how consistent you go get feedback on how you are doing constantly, and then taking action on it, evaluating it, taking action on it. And so my first thought right away was I'm first of all, I'm grateful. So I typed an email very quickly to the, you know, it was hard to hear. And I'm like going, what? That's my first reaction is what? I'm like, I haven't had a bad report in three and a half years. And the little voice inside of me was saying, There's always a first and this won't be the last. So I typed a note back and I said, Thank you so much for sending this feedback. Um, and I said, Hey, here's what here's what I would like to do. Here's what I'm thinking. Um, even let's I'll even be willing to offer a couple of extra sessions to make sure we get the focus on what the client wants out of the call right. You know what she did? Within five minutes, she sent me a note back. And how many of you get an email response five minutes from anybody?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She said, thank you for being open to the feedback. And I love your idea, and let's see how your next call goes. So I just really re-homed in. I just re-homed in and said, okay, let me just make sure, because I really wasn't super clear on what the client wanted out of the next call. So I did that. And uh at the end of the call, I always asked for feedback. Hey, give me two things that work really. He goes, Bob, this was spot on. This is exactly what I needed.
Overgiving, Pricing, And Flow
SPEAKER_03Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01And uh I said, yeah, I said, do differently. He said, well, maybe he gave me some really good feedback. Be a little bit more clearer on the purpose of the first call and the second call, so I know exactly what to expect. Because I didn't know what to expect in the first call. And he gave me some other feedback too about some other details about the process. And it's I said, thank you. I just said thank you. Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. And if you talk about that, it's the receptivity of being open to knowing and figuring out and staying writing close heard on, we get into a rut of how good we are and we get into this flow of oh, we're on a roll. Yet I know sometimes when I get too much on a roll, I get too much of me. Focused on me. So be able to step back and constantly be open to maybe a different viewpoint of how I'm coming across to my some of my clients. I need to be doing that more on a regular basis.
SPEAKER_03Wow. I mean, I think that story touched on almost all of these values, like that you put into practice. That was such a great example. Maybe we should state just all of them the law of value, the law of compensation, the law of influence, the law of authenticity, and the law of receptivity. So we're kind of bouncing around all of them. But that was an example that kind of touched on almost all of them.
SPEAKER_01I wonder, I wonder if there's a building here. I I you guys tell me, but I'm thinking about okay, first I got to get my mindset right. Because I can do do do, but if still my mindset is, ooh, I know this will help me get more money, that's not the right mindset for me. But once I start to see the impact of me serving, once I start to see how I'm overgiving and what the what's coming back, that's surpris like you were saying, surprising. Like on it's like you said over here, but it came from over there. Now you begin to influence and you've unleashed your identity and who you are. And now you now that you're authentic and real person, you can be totally open to receiving anything. So I'm just I'm just kind of curious around maybe there is a flow here to that deal.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, in your example, you like, you know, it was first like that little sting or that little ouch.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, but then it was like you just like put that over here, like, okay, I know what this is, I'm gonna set this aside. And then you completely put their interests above yours, the company and the client, right? Yeah. And that literally gave you all of your actions and like kind of a relief to set yourself aside, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you guys, yeah. I even said to myself, Bob, bob, bob, be who you've called to be. Because I was all of a sudden a little bit. Fear, right? A little bit of fear, a little bit of anxiety. And then I said, wait a minute, do what guys called you to do, do what you do best, which is to listen and pay attention and nail the purpose and then deliver.
SPEAKER_03So you tied feedback to receptivity, which like I hadn't thought about it in that way, but I think that's such a cool way. And you are so good at feedback. Like you did a call for us on you know, asking for feedback. Um what else? How how else does the law of receptivity show up in your business? Like, what does that look like? Because I for me, I think that's the hardest one to like it's like slippery.
SPEAKER_01I don't think yeah, Kelly, what do you think is slippery?
SPEAKER_02Well, I've just been thinking through as you've been talking, and I I'm not directly going to answer your question, Carla.
SPEAKER_03So maybe we can get back to it, but go wherever you're gonna be.
SPEAKER_02I've been thinking a little bit like there are times where things can get out of balance and that it's okay to not continue to give in a certain place too, or to shift that, or because we can we can tend to overgive. Um, I think that happens sometimes when there's an expectation of something in return,
Trusting Your Lane And Saying No
SPEAKER_02and we can kind of create a negative feeling. Um, but it is possible to overgive or not be invited to give and kind of force that. Like there's some places that that could get out of balance. So I think it's it's okay to assess that and to kind of be honest with yourself. Um, you know, um, and to keep that in balance. I think of like really checking in with ourselves and like there's without naming names, there's a situation I've been involved in doing some coaching for years, and I have to occasionally assess the the value of it. And I have continued to come back to like it's still um a value that's in alignment, but I've questioned it so many times. But it's I have to give myself that reflection time to to make sure things are balanced. And there's been sometimes it's gone out of balance and then it's kind of come back around the other way. And and I just have to be honest with myself. And and that's where I do with people in their pricing too, because I do coach people on that. It's like it's there is, you know, there is some science to it. There's some things out there, there's some theories that we can follow, but it matters how it feels in your body and how you feel about it and how it's received. And I think if you kind of align, because we do, we we're not doing everything we're doing for free, right? We have to for all of us, this is an income that we've just steward our time and our talent.
SPEAKER_03And yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So there, you know, we have to be open to receiving something for that. And so for me, um, of course, there's marketplace and there's some things that we can base, or if you're selling a product, you can look at your cost of that and add something to it. Um, so there's things that we can use, but it really matters how you're feeling about that exchange and checking in on that and um and just being honest with yourself on a regular basis to like check in and evaluate that. And sometimes what I loved about what you said, Carla, about the flow, like sometimes the payment comes from over here. So, like this organization, I'm thinking of I can isolate on one piece of it, like what am I getting paid to do what I'm doing? Like, and that doesn't always feel like if I just use that part of the equation, it doesn't work. But then when I think about all the other ways and the impact that I'm making or the ways that I receive some things back from it, I I come to this place where, oh yeah, all those other pieces are kind of part of that flow. And and that's where I find my um I find that we're we're in value together. Um, and I'm not overgiving and they're not overgiving. So it's kind of an interesting thought process. It's not a it's not the most simplistic formula to look at. You have to figure in a lot of factors. But I think if we get if you get at the end of the day and you're not feeling good about it, and you really analyze that and be honest with yourself, you know, if you if it's not the right fit, you can change things. Um but make sure you're looking at all the all the elements of the formula to add into it, all the ways that you're giving and receiving. Um and really pay attention in your body
Receiving In Relationships
SPEAKER_02and in your heart. I think that, you know, I think it comes down to that. That's always where people in the end, when they feel a kind of way about their pricing, we'll talk about some of the things happening. But when they really get into their truth and think and work through um into their body, we can find the place that just feels really good and it feels good for them and and for their people that their clients. And um, that's when sales doesn't feel uh yucky. That's when like you can have really good conversations with people and feel authentic and not like a no offense to car salesman, but you don't feel like a used car salesman or that stereotype, you know, you can feel really good about it. And I think that's really important for people that you know are looking to build a business. You have to feel good about what you're giving and receiving. And you can walk away and change it if you don't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, thank you for remembering that I had asked that question because I was getting off on something else. And I, you just really helped me be clear because last week I was feeling like kind of out of alignment and like questioning everything. But what I did come back to was like, I'm such high responsibility that I was like way taking responsibility for things that I don't need to take responsibility for, that nobody's asked me to take responsibility for over in that other area, right? And once I did sort that out, and I just realized like, okay, I just need to watch the boundaries and lines and like be responsible for my own energy. And and um I felt so much better. Yeah. So thank you for that. You helped me remember and get clear about that.
SPEAKER_02I think Kelsey and I don't remember the other question we were talking about.
SPEAKER_03That's okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, it'll come back. But I want to what you said really is trust your gut. Trust your gut.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And is it in your lane? Is it in your lane?
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's a good one.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that a good one? I mean, think about it. Why are we doing what we do? We're in our we're in the lanes of where our gifted areas are, of our niche, of what we've been called to do. And what I yeah, I'll just give you a great example. I like doing pro bono work, right? I mean, look, and then I'm always evaluating is it in my niche? Is it something I'm excited about? Is it in my lane? And I took something that was kind of out of my lane, and I spent because it was out of my lane, it was hard to do the research, hard to gather the data. It took a lot of effort, it wasn't all that much fun. But I I I'll bet you I put in three times more hours into designing that custom two-hour workshop for a nine nonprofit than I would have had it been in my lane. Now look, it went well, it went okay, but man, I was exhausted at the end. And I checked myself and I said, Would I do that again? I think I would refer somebody else to who loved that topic. It wasn't in my lane. So checking my gut, if I would have said, what's the little voice telling you, Bob, that you're ignoring right now? I know you're a giver, I know you love to serve. Is are you the perfect person for this opportunity?
Choosing The Edge: Authenticity
SPEAKER_01And I I I wish I would have asked myself that question because I probably would have said, probably not. Powerful.
SPEAKER_03Do you guys have a question you want to ask?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, what do you guys when if you could summarize the receptivity piece, what do you think the essence of the message is? About the law of receptivity. The key is give uh the key to giving is being open to receiving.
SPEAKER_02They say it in the book, and there's a story, it actually comes from a Tony Robbins thing, but um like don't don't shut off other people's gifts either. Like, don't shut off, don't, you know. I think of this too, even with clients of you know, thinking about working with people and like um this I don't want to make this all about money, but I guess that's the filter through which I do so much of my work, I can't help it. But like, you know, somebody will automatically offer the pro bono or automatically offer the something at a discount. And it's it's because they're assuming something about that other person and they're maybe not holding them as powerful. There could even be a gift in that person showing up and paying for that service so they take it seriously and and really um commit to it. So we we don't want to close off that gift. We can certainly there's a place to do those things. There's certainly a place to offer um, you know, all kinds of different ways of serving people outside of just exchanging money, but there's um not to close off the gift. And so the Tony Robbins thing, and I'm sure I'm not gonna get this right, but when he was early on in his business, um somebody was meeting him for lunch and he was insisting on paying because he felt like that was the right thing. And and the person said to him, Don't take away the gift of me buying this lunch, like that kind of a thought. And and I see that when you know, my my husband loves to buy the dinner for everybody. And it's like, well, people don't want to always just receive that. Sometimes they want to pay it back too. So you've got to give them that opportunity. And so I think of that a little bit of like sometimes we think we're doing it for the right reason, but it might be that you're shutting off an opportunity for somebody else to give to you, and that that that just is the part that really closes that flow. And so whether it's in our business, our personal lives, in our, you know, it doesn't always have to be us giving. We there's a give and take that makes it feel good to that other person you're working with too. And I think that's really important.
SPEAKER_03I think that's so true. And I think that like this has been something that I think I've been navigating for a lot of years of like, I think I was always like lopsided
Closing Reflections And Next Steps
SPEAKER_03in the giving. And um, like even just in personal relationships, like think about when like somebody gives you a compliment and then you like they or you give somebody a compliment and they automatically return with a compliment to you, and you're kind of like, well, wait, like I just wanted to give you that compliment, right? Like it doesn't feel good either direction. Um and like for me, I think I just it was lopsided. Like I and I remember when my I lost both my parents like within six months. And I remember during that time, like that was one of the loneliest times. And I really had to reflect and go, like, where are my people? Um, during that time when I needed them. And I really had to be honest and look, and I'm like, I've really taught people that I'm okay, that I'm strong, that I don't, I'm always the one listening to them and not allowing them in over here. And that was like a huge eye-opening thing. Um, so that's definitely a work in progress for me. But like the rewards of like learning to surrender, learning to receive, learning to let my friends pour into me has been like one of the greatest gifts.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's interesting, you guys. This is um my senses for this whole message here. It again, trust your spirit about where you're at. Because it's not a soft, fluffy thing, somebody said to me, Bob. It's based on your past experience. Your gut is based on your past experience, and so there's this little voice telling you something that I mean you're ignoring. So what are you ignoring? Um, and the other cool thing about this I just listened to a podcast by Taylor Welch. Taylor Welch, yeah. It's called The Deep End. And you want to go deep. I mean, it's really good. He says, You know that you are a fraction of what you have been called to be. And most of this is fear-based. If we're not providing value, we're afraid of, oh, how are people gonna perceive me? If I'm not taking all of the pro bono opportunities, what are people gonna think of me? And and I'm never gonna be able to make it. You know, what's the underlying fear message under there? If I'm not authentic. Um somebody else said to me just recently, when you're not being your true self and who you've been called to be, it it's a very lonely life because you spend so much time trying to be somebody else. There's so much effort and energy put into being somebody else. And then the law of influence is like the influence grows as you place others' interest first. So I I love that is like unleash, give yourself the permission to receive and to say thank you. I love what you said. I think you said it, Kelly or Carla, kind of together. You said, Look, I want to give. You know, there's some people say, Well, Bob, you don't have to pay. I said, I want to give. Let me give. And they they kind of backed off a little bit. And um, but I just had to be more intentional about when I want to give, I want to give. Because you are you're cutting someone else off from sharing their old gifts. I think that was really uh very insightful, Kelly. Really cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so good.
SPEAKER_02I'm also still thinking about the relationship part though, Carla, where what you said about you had trained people to to that you were just okay. I think that's really huge. And I think you could look into every dynamic of relationship that we can have, and you know, marriage or partners, children, teammates, coworkers, clients, and like look at um look at that give and take and how um there's a place in in every one of those relationships to to probably find more ways to give or receive, you know, look at the that balance. And that, you know, I can think of um times for sure I've done that in in my marriage relationship where I mean there's lots of ways that we really good at that, but there's some places where you know you're you're not allowing that flow back, you know. I think that's a really important place to be honest um with ourselves too.
SPEAKER_03That's a place that I feel like we have been navigating a lot. Like my husband just keeps telling me, like, he received he receives when I can receive his love. Like, you know, when I allow his love, him to shower his love, like is when he feels the most loved. And like it's kind of a trip, right? Like it's it's like messes with your mind. Um but so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01My wife is so smart, she's she's amazing. She said, because she's the same way, she's a giver, she is generous to the max, and other people want to give to her. And she said, wait a minute, you know what? If I don't want to receive, is that all about me? Oh, I feel shame, or I feel embarrassed, or I feel yeah. I think it is an ego thing. It is an ego.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Totally.
SPEAKER_02And that'd be the last thing she'd want to be. It's not coming from that in her heart, but it's it it is what it is, you know. It comes from ego. Yeah, and that's I think the real key to understanding that is what it's like, whoa, that's that's not where I want to be at all. Like, I, you know, I want people to be able to shine their gifts too, and um, that just shifts the whole thing, but it does take an awakening to that, and probably multiple times, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so true. So maybe in closing, where do you want to go? How should we close? Tell everybody read the book. Yeah, read the book for sure. Which one feels most like alive, edgy for you to like sort of play with, go deeper with?
SPEAKER_01I'll say the one. I think the authenticity.
SPEAKER_03Authenticity.
SPEAKER_01Because how many of us are acting differently at work than we are at home, or vice versa? And we're flexing and spending a lot of effort trying to be someone that we think should we should be, or that other people have been telling us we need to be, instead of being who you're called to be. Yeah, and when there is so much freedom in allowing your work to come out of that authenticity piece and finding your way there. And that when you feel a rub at work, when you're feeling stress and you can't sleep and you're putting in too much effort, it may be a values clash of what's important.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, and in the book, the authenticity of the story of Deborah Davenport, right? Like she had kind of gone through hardship and then into real estate and kind of discovering that like the greatest thing she had to offer was herself, right? And that story was so inspiring. That that that's the edgiest one for me too, Bob. Even like even on this podcast, like I know that there's like another level of authenticity of the podcast that I want to go to. Like I've been in a place of sort of like teaching and sharing lessons and things that I've learned, but there's another layer of just like sharing my life. You know, I've had clients say, like, I just want to get in your head and your heart and see how you think. And I haven't known how to translate that in the podcast, but I it is authenticity. And like that's that's the one I want to play with the most, too.
SPEAKER_01It's so much freedom.
SPEAKER_03So much freedom. So much freedom. Can you handle it?
SPEAKER_01Probably not, Kelly.
SPEAKER_02Kelly, how about you? I I'm feeling um well, first of all, I'm reading the next book, The Leader. So I want to see how Go Giver Leader. Yeah, the go-giver leader. Um, because I I want to see, I think I'm blind to some of it in with my team to some extent. I think I think I have some pieces kind of in the business. Um I'm gonna look at it with personal relationship and then also as a leader, but in this specific group of five, um, I think it's number two. And I think it's, you know, I'm playing with the Facebook group and even playing with like ways that I can help people in a different way in the business. And um so I feel like law of compensation and your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them. I think I'm playing in that area. I feel like authenticity, like that is probably my top value in life. So I feel like I've got a lot of that in my business already. And um I feel it's say that I really align with that one. Um, but the law of compensation is is the one I think I'm playing with the most. And I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes in the Facebook group and just open to um where we go with that. I think it's gonna be really fun. That's beautiful.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I think that concludes our conversation. Um, I hope that it inspired your thinking or stirred your thinking or makes you want to go get the book. Go get the book.
SPEAKER_01And just for the listeners, this was not scripted.
SPEAKER_03No, at all. They didn't even know we were gonna do this today. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01It was like you put the five laws up there as a summary, and we're going, okay, here we go.
SPEAKER_02I have an idea, guys. That's how this whole thing goes. I have an idea, guys, from Carla. And they were like, let's go.
SPEAKER_03So true. Thanks for playing. All right, thanks for tuning into our mastermind. It was fun to have you here. And go get the book. We'll put a link in the show notes and to Kelly and um Bob's work too. So all right, guys, thanks for playing.
SPEAKER_01It was fun.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for making it all the way to the end, and thank you for listening to differently. If you enjoyed this episode, will you please still leave a five-star review and share it with someone you love? Goodbye for now. I'll see you next week.