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Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
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Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Faith Journeys with Bob Parsons
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If you’re seeking clarity, longing for peace, or just curious about how people hear God, join Bob Parsons and me as we share our own stories, honest missteps, and real hope.
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Why Share Our Faith Stories
SPEAKER_00A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Welcome back to Differently. Today I have Bob Parsons with me. And if you you may have heard him on the podcast before, he was on November 9th, 23, and it's titled Choosing Freedom in the Face of Fear. And I invited Bob to come back today. And we're going to talk about our faith journey. This is something I that has been on my heart to bring more to the podcast. And I haven't exactly known how to do that. And Bob and I were talking the other day and thinking about like what we want to do another podcast together on. And one of the strongest connections that he and I have had has been our faith. Like every time we talk, we're sharing about how God is showing up in our lives, our families. And we're we've never actually shared like our God journey like from the beginning. And so I'm kind of excited because I'm going to learn something new
Meet Bob: Life, Work, And Values
SPEAKER_00about you, Bob, today. And we just want to give you a peek inside. Like maybe you have faith, maybe you have Jesus, maybe you don't. Maybe you're wondering. I just see so many people struggling right now and seeking right now. And I feel like religion is just scared people away. And we're not talking about religion today. We're just sharing our own experience of God and how he has shown up in our lives. And so, Bob, welcome back.
SPEAKER_01Thanks. I'm excited. I'm excited to be here. And uh if you didn't like the first podcast, then I don't know if you're gonna like the second podcast. But if you like the first one, I think you'll really enjoy this one.
SPEAKER_00So, in case people haven't heard the first podcast, give them a little sense of who you are and where you are and what you do.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I am. I'll just tell you the stuff that really means the most to me. Number one, though I've been I've been a Christian since I was 16, but then uh Lord's number one, and then my wife uh will be married 43 years next. No, this Wednesday will be 43 years and my birthday. So my I got married on my birthday so that I would never forget my anniversary.
SPEAKER_00That's hilarious. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_01And I haven't. I've never I've never forgotten it. So it's it's always been an easy deal.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's the best.
SPEAKER_01I have three amazing kids, 38, 36, and 33. I'm close to them. I love them, they're just neat people to hang out with. And um see, then I've been I've worked in corporate for many, many years, over uh almost 38 years. And now I've been on my own uh because uh I hired you. You were my the fire that was lit under my butt to get going on this and really helped me manage my mind traffic quite a bit. And so now I'm doing mainly I'd say team and one-on-one executive coaching, mid-level and above uh for leaders. And I just love my work.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's awesome. It's been so fun to watch your business grow and just the journey of it all. It's so good. Amazing. Yeah. So let's go way, way back, Bob. Like when did God come into your life? Like when did that door even open for you?
SPEAKER_01Now, now you're gonna are you gonna answer some of these questions too?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you can ask me anything you want.
SPEAKER_01Because I hate talking, I really do. I mean, some of you who knew me in high school, when I say I really hate talking about myself, we're probably going, You're a liar, but I have changed. I have changed. I'm you know, I'm in my mid-sixties now, so I have grown
First Encounters With God
SPEAKER_01quite a bit.
SPEAKER_00Just like we're having coffee and sharing our journey.
SPEAKER_01Great. So I'll just tell you that as far back as I can remember, probably around age five or six, I always felt a sense of God. Never read the Bible, hadn't really gone to church, but my my mom and my and they would say things and and ask and and do things. And I'm like, wait a minute, mom, uh, if if people just obeyed the Bible, wouldn't everything be okay? Wouldn't we all be good? And you know, to their I feel bad, but at that point they were in a very different place. My mom is a real strong believer today. My dad passed away um when he was, you know, very young, 56. But um but I've always had a sense of God and I just didn't know what to do and how to work with it because I just didn't have anybody in my family. I am a first generation Christian, so until I was about fast forward to about 13 or 14, I just was trying, I was a little, I was in a searching period, and so I wanted to go to church. So me and my buddies wanted to go to church, and I wanted to go to camp, I wanted to go to Bible camp. So there was a church about six blocks away from our house. So me and my friends we went every Wednesday and Sundays. Just us. We just went because my parents, my dad wasn't into church, my mom was hoping that my dad would get involved, but my dad never got there. And so, and that's where I first heard a little bit about the Bible and Jesus. And then I went to camp and I heard the gospel message. And Kenny, I don't know if you're still around, but you were the guy, you were the youth pastor at Redeemer Lutheran Church in friendly, friendly Minnesota, and you shared the gospel at camp, and that just that was the missing piece for me. And so I committed myself in the in a room with a whole bunch of us listening to the gospel at that point to uh to do.
SPEAKER_00And how old were you then?
SPEAKER_0116.
SPEAKER_0016. And when how old were you when your little group of friends were going to church?
SPEAKER_01We've probably been gone for a couple years now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like 14, 13.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I was about 14. I'll just say I was 14, 15, somewhere in there. Yeah, I know it was a couple years because I went to camp, went to camp, and then it took a couple shots at camp before I got it, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. That's so crazy. So we've never talked about this, but um I was
Camp, Conversion, And Early Searching
SPEAKER_00like five years old, and my parents didn't go to church either. Nobody in my family, I think my grandma went, but she lived out of town. Um, and I had a little neighbor friend who invited me to church when I was in kindergarten. And I just started going with her family and like went all through grade school. My mom was Catholic, but she had lost her first husband in Vietnam. And I think, you know, with three young children. And I think she was at odds with God for a while. And my dad was Lutheran, but I don't know why he wasn't going to church. I don't really know his story about that time. And I just went and they would come at Chris. My parents would show up on Christmas and Easter, you know, when I was in the little church play or whatever. But I am so grateful for that family because they really did uh introduce me to God. And I'll like I am forever grateful for that.
SPEAKER_01Wait, so you lot you said that you you your mom lost her first husband in Vietnam.
SPEAKER_00My mom lost her first husband in Vietnam. Yep, he was a pilot and his plane went down. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_00And three young children.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you and I are gonna learn a lot about each other, I think, today we didn't know, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. So, which kind of brings me to the next question of just like the path and the people, like because I think if we all look, right, there's places where God is showing up, whether you've ever even acknowledged it as God or not. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I really want, I'm gonna help you, and I think you would you would agree with this to help those who are just you got this nudge. And I remember the donut man. You remember the donut man? No, he he was a guy that was probably when I was growing up, or maybe when I was first married, but he did have a Bible, you know, kind of a Bible kids' show. He was called the Donut Man. And what he said was there's a hole in everybody's heart, your donut. And you're never gonna find it in all the things of the world until you fill it with Jesus, right? And so he was the donut man. That's why they called it because you it was you need to fill the donut in the hole. So so anyway, my path was I love that it was yeah, it's a great one. But 16, so I had no mentors like you, nobody filling in the gap, nobody helping me understand, answer questions. I just was really struggling. So I'll just say I went through all the typical stuff you would go through as a high school, high schooler. Um, my motives, I was I quit football because I couldn't have my way. So I got into theater and I knew I loved theater because it was all about me. And I could be on the stage and I got all the attention. And I was, I uh I was I was the man, and I had like six or seven different leads. I I won Best Actor, my first, uh, I think it was my uh senior year in high school. I was in the Renaissance Festival, I was in a show every minute of my life from my sophomore year high school till my second year of college. And I just was really struggling. And uh I was a very carnal Christian. I believed and I wanted to, I wanted to go deeper, but I just hadn't know I didn't know how to do it until I met my wife. My wife was the first believer I met her in college in my second year, and again, I was gonna go and make it big in in Hollywood, and I was gonna go off and do whatever I had to do to you know get into the shows in the limelight. And then my wife was the first real Christian I met. Now, isn't that kind of it's great, but it's sad. Someone who actually So what is that?
SPEAKER_00I was gonna say, what does that mean? D? Because I think Christian, Christian also just scares people away, right?
SPEAKER_01Jimmy Winship says it's a club, it's just the name of another name of a gang. Name of a gang, right? And so that's exactly what it was. It it it meant the word Christian meant a hundred different things to a hundred different people.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it repels people.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, and because we all have this history and we all have
Carla’s Childhood Invitation To Church
SPEAKER_01these experiences that turned us off. And so we frankly we use that as an excuse to not get to know Jesus.
SPEAKER_00And it keeps us from like the thing that we're all really wanting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I'll give you an example of what she was like. So I told a lot of little white lies. I was a liar. I was a liar, let's just say I told a lot of fibs just to get what I wanted. And when I would be on a phone call, and my and my girlfriend Pam, she's my wife now, was sitting by me, and she'd hear me say, Oh, I can't, I can't go out there tonight. I got this going on, and I'd hang up and she'd go, You just lied. I said, Well, what do you mean? She goes, Well, you just told that person that you couldn't go and you really could go because you know you're you're going out with me. And I went, Why does no one hurt their feelings? And she goes, That's lying. That's not being and she called me on stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00And I went, I love Pam.
SPEAKER_01Everybody loves Pam, okay? Everybody loves Pam. Because that's she, I'm telling you, 40. See, we dated for three years, married for we're gonna be 43 this week. 43, so we've known each other 46 years. She's my my first favorite coach, okay? She tells me the truth in an honoring way. She's just that way. So she was the first time I'd ever seen a real Christian in the way she showed up. Ah, like she live was living honest integrity, calling me on stuff. And so about three months after I met her. No, actually, when I met her, do you want to hear that one? This is a this everything is a god thing. So I'm in theater, I'm in my first show, I get the lead in my first show. And so I'm riding back and forth to school with Pam's roommate. And she keeps telling me, You gotta meet my roommate. I think you guys would get along. I tried and tried to call and tried to call. She was never there. So I finally said to her, Look, why don't you guys just come to the show? You know, uh, I was doing carousel, I was Billy Bigelow, and I said, Why don't you come to the show? And afterwards, underneath the stage is this really cool reception room, and you guys can come down there and I can meet her. As soon as I saw her, they come, they go to the reception, I see her. God, I'm not telling you, I know you're gonna have to answer ask me this question. God said, That's the girl you're gonna marry. Now, you know me, I don't do anything small. So I had three guys who were I was in a barbershop quartet with and they were all on the show. So I went over to him and I said, You guys, I just met the girl I'm gonna marry. Can you just come and do two songs, just two songs with me for her? So we sang Coney Island Baby and Jonah the Whale, and that hooked her.
SPEAKER_00Oh go hold
Real Faith Versus Labels
SPEAKER_00on, pause for I want to hit pause or rewind on God said this is the girl you're gonna marry. So how does that happen for someone who's wondering or trying to hear God in their life? Like, what did that how does that occur for you? Because it's different for everybody, right?
SPEAKER_01So, you know when you tell somebody what does your gut feel? What did your gut say? What is that little voice in your head telling you that you are ignoring? I had been ignoring God's voice for many years, and all of a sudden, he I'm not kidding you, it wasn't audible, but it was audible in my head. It was like that strong spirit of God. I got a like a 30-second anointing that said, This is the one. And then you know what happened 30 days later. The Lord said, You're quitting theater.
SPEAKER_00How did that go? This is the small voice.
SPEAKER_01I thought, okay, I'm done. I heard the voice I cried. I cried, that was my dream. That was I was on the stage, and he said, You're on the stage for the wrong reason. I want you, I'll don't worry about it. I will use your gifts, I will use your talents to to do what you do best, which is how you connect with people. But right now, you're not going to California, uh, you're not gonna be a theater major. So I had to change my my major. Like, because I was so I changed it to speechcom, and that's that was a whole nother God thing. Um, but so we went to school, and that's kind of how I'd say, you know, when people say, Well, I heard God's voice, well, I was reading the Bible and you when you read the Bible, God speaks to you through the scripture. See, I wasn't reading the Bible, so I didn't I didn't know how to discern anything. But when I started reading the Bible, man, I started like seeing my sin. I started seeing things I was doing wrong, or seeing even the little lies. I call them white lies. They weren't white lies, they're all lies.
SPEAKER_00So self-protection, right? Or like, yeah, it all it gets disguised as protecting others or protecting yourself or protecting your image or yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01It's protect it's all pride, it's all about me. Um, and the Lord says it's not about you, it's about me. So I'm gonna get rid of all the you stuff, and I'm gonna this is gonna be a journey for you. So that was really the first time I really I mean, I heard God all the way, but I just ignored it. And I knew what was right and I knew what was wrong, but I just ignored it. And I said, I'm just gonna do what I want to do.
SPEAKER_00So did you ignore it, or was it a process of learning like that you were hearing from God? Or a little bit of both?
SPEAKER_01A little bit of both, I would say, because once I got married, so I got married, now this was really wild. My dad had a heart attack a week before my wedding.
Pam’s Honest Influence And Integrity
SPEAKER_01And I was in training and I was gonna be married like on a Friday, the 29th of October, 1982, and then I was I was gonna get shipped off to uh uh to an airline. I always wanted to work for the airline. I got a job, I was gonna graduate on Friday, but I was gonna have to be shipped to Chicago. We were gonna go move to Chicago. Well, my dad had a heart attack, and he had quadruple heart bypass on the day of my wedding.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_01So I dropped my mom off at the hospital on Friday morning, I went and finished my school, graduated, you know, got got done with the training, went and picked up my tux, went and picked up my mom, went to the church and got married that night. Um, and I had to make a decision. Here you go. This is all kind of crammed in in a couple years. I had to make a decision. What am I gonna do? My mom is a nervous wreck, my dad's gonna be in the hospital for three months, and I gotta leave on Monday. So Pam and I talked, we prayed together, we prayed over the week and we said, Lord, I kind of knew the answer, but I didn't want to do it. He said, quit. I went to I went to the airline and I said, Look, my dad's in surgery. My dad's gonna be laid up. Can I can you just can I stay here in Minneapolis? Nope. You either go or you quit. I said, Well, well, can you hold out to go to Chicago? Like, can you give me a week or two and then then I'll go to Chicago? I just got married. And they go, Nope. So that's what I was saying. We we we prayed over the weekend and we both came to the same conclusion. And by the way, for those of you who are married, you know the Lord's at work when you're both usually on the same page about the right thing to do. And um, so I quit and I trusted the Lord. I had no job, my wife didn't have a job, so we lived with my parents for three months.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_01Or my mom actually helping my mom out to kind of help her till she could kind of ease back into life because she was just kind of thrown for a loop on this one. So, so yeah, and then that led to then my wife and I we really talked about okay, how do we want to do, how do we want to be married? We want to be married differently. We don't have any good mentors, you know. Both of our parents now were divorced after 25 years, and was it was sad. Um and we didn't, we were just we had nobody. So I started reading like a crazy man. I started going to Bible studies, I started my Pam and I got involved. Um you know who my mentors were? Dr. James Dobson, Dr. Gary Smalley, uh writing this down, it was um Howard Hendricks, right? Um some of these guys, uh Jack Hayford, um amazing men of God that I listened to on the radio. I listened to on Focus on the Family. I listened to it, didn't have podcasts back then. I went to Dad the Family Shepherd, for those of you who remember that that that thing from way back. I went to Promise Keeper stuff. But yeah, I know. Look, every some people might have different opinions about some of these things, these organizations, but some of the men there were some of the most godly men and they knew exactly what they were talking about about marriage and family. So I listened and Pim and I said, We're gonna be intentional. And we did a family contract, and I got that idea from Dr. Gary Smalley in a book called Key to Your Child's Heart, which is one of the best books I ever read about family parenting and marriage. And uh those guys were my mentors. And I just I did followed the book with the scripture. I read scripture, I was getting into the word. Um, and by the way, some uh you know, I've asked people, hey, so how are you with Jesus? Where are you with Jesus? Well, you know, we're good. I said, Well, what does good mean? What does good look like? How often are you in the word? You know, I pray and I I worship. Do you read the word? Oh, you know. Oh, one to two days of you know, for about five, ten minutes. No. It doesn't work. So your worship and your prayer is infused by the word of God, right? And if you read the scriptures, it will reveal truth to you, and then you'll start to hear God speaking to you through the scriptures about what the right thing is to do, about how to trust him, how to take risks.
SPEAKER_00Well, in my experience, it's been like you you can confirm what
Hearing God And Letting Go Of Theater
SPEAKER_00you're hearing with what's in the scripture, right? That's sometimes how I validate, like, oh, that is I am hearing from God, and that is validated in the word.
SPEAKER_01And so it's a two-edged sword, right? It's a two-edged sword. And you know, by the way, when God so convicted me about lying that um that was the heart that was the strongest punishment you could get in our family if you violated uh what you agreed to in the family contract, then you got the most severe punishment for lying to us.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So that's powerful.
SPEAKER_01So that's the yeah. What about you? Well, because you said you didn't have any, you didn't have kind of like what I didn't have, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I didn't have the influences. And it, you know, like all through grade school, I went to church on my own. And um, and then when I got to high school too, like I started, you know, veering on that self-path and and got distracted from God. And then after high school, I was I went to college and I was married young, like 23, and not like we we got married, and then I like if I look back, I did this Bible study um a lot of years ago, but she had you go back through your life and make a like a map of where God showed up all the years, like where there were people that showed up in your life that reminded you, like, or invited you to church. And like I made that map and I was like floored that there was I I often lived next to somebody that like would invite me to church or like two different places I lived. I had people just neighbors who invited me to church, like just those little reminders, like wherever I was, you know, somebody I work with, or God was always trying to bring me back in. And I like in my 20s, I I kind of studied other things too. You know, I looked at other religions and um, you know, kind of did some exploring. And I think that is all really natural, right? Like for us to grapple with it. And I I struggled so much with so many Christian things and church things and religion things that just didn't sit right with me. But what I could never ever ever ever deny was my experience of God. Like I just I've had experiences over and over and over and over again. And like you were saying, as you start to find the way that God, and I think He He intimately speaks to each of us um so precisely in a way that we will hear or we will see or we will resonate, you know? And um like as as as you pay attention to that, it just gets more vivid, right? Um, and then reading the Bible. You were talking about reading the Bible, like I'd never read the Bible, like all those years that I went to church and I didn't read the Bible till um gosh, I was in my late 40s probably. Um, and I that was at a time in my life where a coach had called me out. I said I wanted to create this great marriage, and he had me track my time, and I realized that my husband was getting the breadcrumbs of my time, and so was God. And I made a pivot in my life to start every day first with God and then with my husband, even if it's just a few minutes. And I started reading the Bible, and I I didn't understand the first time I went through the Bible, I didn't understand what I was
Marriage, Crisis, And Costly Decisions
SPEAKER_00reading, but God started working more powerfully in my life. Like that's when my life really started to change.
SPEAKER_01Um key what kind of what motivated you to get into the word, you think?
SPEAKER_00I don't know if I remember. I just it was that like I wanna I want to put God first and I'm gonna start my day every day with God. And so I just I started with the Bible. I don't really remember why, like if there was a nudge around that or why, but I just thought, oh, I do know why. Because Quentin, my husband, had read the Bible and he wasn't a believer when we got married, and I was worried about that. But at one some point, like we took the boys to church in vacation Bible school, and at some point he, you know, he changed his life. And um he started reading before you did. He started he read he read the Bible before I did, and that inspired me. I'm like, yeah, I need to do that. Like it's so crazy that we can be believers and have never read the Bible.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that that has changed everything for me because all those those missing links with Christian and Christianity and religion that were rubbing me wrong, the Bible is not what I thought it was. Like what the message Jesus brought is what we're all seeking, but it's all distorted by religion and Christianity in in many places.
SPEAKER_01The religion versus be having a personal relationship. That's the one thing I learned is the whole difference between Christianity and all the other faiths. I will say is that the Holy Spirit, I mean, it's amazing. I can't even get my head wrapped around this whole Trinity thing sometimes. I still struggle with that, but I get it that the Holy Spirit, the creator of the universe, lives inside of us. Yes, squelch it all the time. And then the Bible just unleashes it and and un it shows truth, and it's for correction and reproof and right and training.
SPEAKER_00So very cool. Yes, and it's like everything is everything is upside down and what we've been told and taught. And I I think it's intentional to keep us away from the truth and the the kingdom, right? Like I never knew the kingdom was for now that we can live in this kingdom now and feel all experience all of that now and for eternity. Like I never understood that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but that's really, really cool. So then you so then he started reading, you started reading, you guys started going to church, and then did he become then did he give his life before you then?
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. I I gave my life back when I was at Bible camp, like you. Okay, like we had Bible study, and I took my Bible by the river, and like I asked Jesus into my heart, but then I had to do it over and over again.
SPEAKER_01Get a refresh.
SPEAKER_00We both had a refresh straight away.
SPEAKER_01Praise God for that, right? A lot of grace and mercy along.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, yes. This is a journey and a process, and it's okay to grapple, and yeah.
SPEAKER_01Wow, amazing. You and I got married at 23. We got married at 23 too. So a lot of similarities. Our whole story is kind of aligned.
SPEAKER_00Well, but my story broke. I got married and then divorced and then found my husband today. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So how long have you guys been married now?
SPEAKER_00Almost 25.
SPEAKER_01Wow, congratulations.
SPEAKER_00Nothing said, that's awesome. 43 and 25. Yes. So good. Um,
Building A Faith-Centered Home
SPEAKER_00so was there a low point in your faith where God showed up? Lots of low points, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a lot of low points, but this is the cool two steps forward, one step back, right? I mean, that's what God, if you think about the disciples, I love this story about how Jamie Winship paints, he was always leveling them up. What do I mean by that? Right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was just gonna say Jamie Winship wrote the book uh Living Fearless, which Bob and I have both read and deeply adore. So just wanted to share that.
SPEAKER_01Yep, no royalties being painted to these two people on the podcast. Uh here, just telling me straight up some recommendations. You want to go deep with the Lord, and it's all pretty much based in fear, and that's what's getting in your way. Read his book. He's helped me a ton. But I love how when he talks about, he just didn't go from you know, over three years like, hey, I'm Jesus, okay, I'm dying. No, I'm gonna be on the cross. I know you're not gonna get it, it's gonna take you a while. He was training, sharing the word, uh, speaking the word, serving, healing, performing miracles. It was the whole three-year journey. They were constantly growing, one one or two steps forward, one step back, right? Because they'd all screw up. They were all just men and women like us. And so Jesus is always leveling us up, and we may not see the big picture for 10, 15, 20 years around why he's doing what he's doing right now in us, and we have to go through some of that stuff. So true.
SPEAKER_00It's so true.
SPEAKER_01A lot of refining and process and anger and I would character building and you know, pouting and c and anger towards him, and just frustrated. I um I would say that there was one spot, one place in my life when Pam and I were first married, and I didn't get what I wanted. And I kind of told a f a half-truth, which is a lie, to get me where I wanted to be. And the n probably not followed the scripture on that one. Somebody gave up their position so I could go in their stead and and get back to where I really wanted to be, and that's why I was trying to fudge a little bit to get there. And then I just cried like a baby because he humbled me and said he just would have waited 24 hours, told the truth, and just stuck it with me. But I wanted the plan, I wanted it all laid out, and Jesus doesn't work that way. You know, look what he said to Jacob. Jacob, get up, go. Um, yes, you're right in leaving Laban, but I'm not telling you exactly what's going on. He didn't know he had Esau, he had to face. He didn't know that Laban was gonna follow him, and now he's got you know enemies behind him and potential enemies in the front of him, and he's like, what am I gonna do here? He just trusted the Lord and he had faith and he knew that he trusted Jesus. He had been on this long journey too. If you look back at his history, he lied to his father, he lied to his brother, he connived, he manipulated to get his way. But then he grew along this way on this journey to the place where he he did follow the Lord and and take the step that the that God had confirmed in him to leave and go forward, and he healed both of those relationships.
SPEAKER_00So you know, something that I have been like sitting with is like, you know, we have more self-help stuff, you know, the bookshelves are full of books, like we have more resources at our hands than ever before. And I've just been like, this question has been on my heart is like, is self-help helping? And it's not. Like if you look at the state of mental health, yeah, and as you're talking about the Bible right now, like I think the what the Bible has shown me is that the world says we need self-help. The Bible tells us we need self-discipline and actually teaches you
Scripture, Truth, And Daily Practice
SPEAKER_00like what that is and what that looks like. And I feel like that's what people are hungry for.
SPEAKER_01Oh hungry, you know, lonely, depressed. They've tried everything, you know. I think Tom Brady said, he said, is this all there is?
SPEAKER_00I know. I have so many people around me that I feel like are in that place.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, is this all there is to life? This is the pinnacle, then I don't doesn't, if it is, it's like doesn't feel so good.
SPEAKER_00That's just the essence of what he said.
SPEAKER_01You know, and we've got you know friends who've said the same thing to us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and the other thing that popped in my head as you were talking was um, you know, hearing God and like learning to hear God. Because I I know that not everybody hears God or recognizes that they're hearing God more accurately. But one of the ways that I hear God is like it's it is that that it is like a voice, it's not audible, but it it feels like you hear it in your head, or sometimes it can be like words, but it's it's not what I would think. It's not what how I would speak. And when you are in the word, you it often does show up like the word, right? But it's it's different, it stands out. And if you start paying attention, or it calls you to show up in a way that you scares the daylights out of you, but you know is right, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like Rob Ketterling at our one of the churches we've attended in the past. He said, follow the prompt. We have so many prompts we ignore.
SPEAKER_00Prompts. Right.
SPEAKER_01I was in a, you know, I you know me, I've always had a strong grip on money. And so I've been working on that for a very long time. And so we were in a coffee shop a couple days ago. Uh I was with a meeting with a friend, and uh, there's a older um uh couple of ladies, and one paid for her thing and she moved on, and then the woman in front of me, she went to pay and they don't take cash, and she didn't have, you know, she didn't have her credit card. And immediately, you know, it really wasn't out of guilt. It was like, you have a credit card, you pay for it. And no, I don't went at first. I went, yeah. Now, even three or four months ago, three or four years ago, I would have said, why? But I followed the prompt. I didn't even have to hey, let me take care of this person's bill. She goes, No, you don't. I said, I want to. Don't worry about it. I I I had a prompt. I need it, I need to pay for you and take care of it. Now you can go and enjoy your time with your friend.
SPEAKER_00That's the best. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So yesterday she said, she said, she goes, Don't worry, I'll pay it for it. I said, I'm not worried. I'm not worried at all.
SPEAKER_00So I love that. Yes. Follow the prompts. Listen for the prompts, just experiment with them.
SPEAKER_01That's right. That's right. Yeah. It's just amazing. Like you said, Carla, I love it. The word, being in the word, you know, um, one of my life verses here, I'll just say, is uh Acts 15, 19, which is therefore it is my judgment that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who are turning to God. We, me, I should never be an impediment to someone coming to faith. Because when I say I'm a believer, they're watching me. We are now under a microscope. They're watching everything. It's just like leadership. By the way, you know, that's why you and I do leadership development. Is it's a it's a Jesus principle. Love the Lord your God and then love others. I mean, that's what servant leadership is all about. Love others, you know. We read that book, um, the goal, the the goal giver and um some other ones that just talk about serve your your butt off is pretty much what it is. Go love people. Jesus said, Love me and love people, and that's the bottom line, pretty much.
SPEAKER_00And you'll be so blessed by it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, be blessed by it, because and blessed doesn't mean
Carla’s Return To The Bible
SPEAKER_01you're gonna get more money. There's there's so many different meanings of blessing, blessing in your spirit, comfort and peace in your soul. We just are in a world right now where there's just very little or no peace anywhere. Yeah, and Jesus does that freely.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, it's so powerful. Prompts and in prayer. Like when you were saying that, I had the coolest thing happen. So we are you okay on time, Bob?
SPEAKER_01Um, good.
SPEAKER_00We go okay.
SPEAKER_01You know, you and we can talk about Jesus forever, but I know we don't try boring everybody else to death, but we're having a blast.
SPEAKER_00Um, I I have this little coffee shop that I can walk to from my house. And I've been going for a number of months now, and there's a girl there that works there that is just an absolute joy and delight. And she is a believer. She and I have talked about it, and they host young people there on Friday nights and all of that. So I built this friendship with her, just going in and getting coffee. And all of a sudden she wasn't there and she wasn't there and she wasn't there. And I went at different times of the day to find her, and like it was just on my heart, like something had happened, something was wrong. And I kept coming home to my husband, like, Brennan's still not there. And um one day I came back and I shared that with my husband, and then I prayed, and I don't know why I prayed this, but I said, God help me find Brennan, because I don't know. I just felt like I needed to find her. And literally the very next morning, I walk into my Pilates class, which is also across the street, that I've been going to for six months. I've never seen her there ever. I walk in and I didn't even see her during class. At the end of class, the teacher went up and was talking to somebody, and I just kind of glanced over and I and I was like, is that her? Like she didn't even look herself. She didn't have her light, she just didn't have the joy that she normally has. And I walked up and I'm like, Brenna, and I just embraced her in a hug. And I'm like, I literally prayed to God that I would find who would help me find you. And here you are, first thing in the morning, right there. So long story short, we went and made it coffee date and um have just been talking about God together and like reuniting, and we're connected for some reason that I don't understand, right? But that's how you and I connected too, Bob.
SPEAKER_01Like look, when you're when you read the word, you know that these things you can't explain some of these things that go on wanting to get your attention. Do you want me to do you want me to share the story of the colour?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sure. So we can close full circle here.
SPEAKER_01So I was in the thralls of trying to figure out where I go next in my life, and I kind of knew that I was gonna probably be ending my term at my current employer, but I didn't know what to do. It really scared me. So I started getting on some calls and some webinars and things like that. So I was on this webinar and I heard this young lady ask amazing questions. I'm like, those are she must be a really good coach. Anyone who asks those questions is a really good coach. So I think I I reached out to you and I said, Hey, I'd love to just kind of connect with you and just kind of get a sense. I'm looking for a coach. And I heard you on the on the webinar. Would you be willing to get to connect? And you said yes. And then we got to go. But you referenced, but you referenced okay, you're gonna show you that. I really love the questions that you were asking on the pot on the uh webinar. And you said, Oh Bob, those are really good questions, but I don't think that was me.
SPEAKER_00I said, but we carried on anyway.
SPEAKER_01Let's get together anyway, is what we did. So there you go. That's how God works in mysterious ways, he works in unbelievable ways, but he never said he was gonna lay out the plan for every little problem that we have.
SPEAKER_00I know.
SPEAKER_01He never told anybody in the scripture. You find it where he said, he just said, Go, go, follow me, trust me, I'll provide for you, I'll give you the manna, you know, I'll give you, I'll feed it, feed you through the birds, and and you just trust me daily, day by day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Seek me first in his kingdom, and then all these things will be added unto you, right?
SPEAKER_00So good. Okay, last question. Okay kudos to Susie Larson Live because she asks this question on her podcast that you and I both Thank you Susie, I listen to you too.
SPEAKER_01We love you.
SPEAKER_00Um, what's God been impressing on your heart lately, Bob?
Relationship Over Religion
SPEAKER_01This is such a good one.
SPEAKER_00I know. Um and this is for you too, listener. Like, what's God been impressing on your heart? Just take a look around.
SPEAKER_01You know, you know what, you would never just buy a car and just run it for 10 years without doing anything to it. You need to refresh it. You need to change the oil, you need to check the tires, you need to get a tune-up. I needed a tune-up, and I I needed it in a bad way, and I was just kind of in a heavy place recently. And Pam and I went on a mission, a marriage mission, our like our vision retreat we do now. We've been doing like for four years or five years now. We just talk about our marriage. What's missing, what's working, what's not, what do we need to be doing, where do we want to go? What's kind of our vision? What's God calling us to do? And on this one, you know what he said? I want you to remember why you what you committed to me when you first got married.
SPEAKER_00Oh and he said who who was gonna be at the center of your life?
SPEAKER_01Well, you were Lord. And what was gonna be your ministry? My family and my friends. Okay, great. I want you to go, I want you to pull back from some leadership roles you've been taking on that have been frankly pulling you away from that ministry. And so I did. And I said no to a couple things that I had been involved with for a very long time, and both Pam and I were on the same page and we're going, remember. This is like look, look up the word remember in the Bible how many times the Lord says, Remember what I did for you. Go back and look for I've provided for you. I have never, I've never forsaken you. I've loved you the whole time. And you will be, you will be blessed. Doesn't mean financially, but you will be blessed. And so I stepped back, and Pam and I have just recommitted ourselves to ministering to our kids, our grandkids, the friends around us. Um, I was not a generous person, by the way. I'll just quote it here. When I met my wife, she was way there's another thing she taught me. She would give everything away if she could. She would overgive. And I'm like, no, that's ours. That's mine. I worked hard for that. And slowly but surely, God has really changed me in terms of giving more, being a giver, being a servant, you know, me helping other person succeed in my in my business here. And the one way she knew that I was really generous was I um this weekend, now normally when she's gone for four days, I kind of take me time. But this time I took, I thought about who, who, Lord, who can I just who do I need? Who do you who needs our relationship? I spent time with a couple of friends who are just they're looking. I had a guy friend who said, I don't have any guy friends, Bob, and I really like this guy. I said, How could you not have any guy friends? And so, and then another guy who just I just love him to death. We spent some time. We went out, I know maybe this isn't good, but we went to the shooting range. It was really a blast. We hadn't really went through a tough time. And then um, my wife said, It really came home to me. All the stuff you did, I cleaned the house, I did the shower, I made some bread so she didn't have to cook for my birthday uh when she got home from being with our grandkids in homeschooling. Um, I said, uh uh I'm trying to think, what could I do? What could I do that would really help her out when she gets home? So I just
Stumbles, Growth, And Being Leveled Up
SPEAKER_01I worked. She's her her love language is works, you know. Um, and so I scrubbed the shower like four times and I was couldn't get it clean, and I just kept at it. Um I baked the pie because she knows I love pumpkin pie and I was gonna have that for my birthday. So I baked it so she didn't have to do it when she came home because I knew she was gonna be tired. Um and so I just did some and I just wanted to do it. And I wasn't trying to get accolades, I just wanted to do it because she's taught me how to think differently now, and the Lord's used her to teach me how to be more generous.
SPEAKER_00So cool. And you literally experience heart change.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yep, heart change, big time. And then this was the I'm sorry, now the other one I was gonna share is I love, you know, I love our time together. And so we watch our grandson one day a week. And so, but I protect our time because it's really important for our marriage. And so this time, I know my daughter had to get up early, and Saint, our grandboy, he's 14 months, was gonna be at church for like six or seven hours. Well, she's in ministry, so she's at the church and her husband's at the church and they're in ministry. And I just I didn't even think twice. I said, honey, hey, uh, I'm going to pick up my mom. I'm going to pick up mom tomorrow at the airport at 7:30. What if I just come out and pick up Saint and we'll just take him until you guys get home at like 1 or 1.30? Dad, that would be awesome. Well, that made my wife's heart sink. Right? She said, I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, when you said that and you didn't even flinch, I just loved that so much. If you offered that and didn't even like complain or whine about it, you just did it. And that's how Jesus transforms us. He changes um whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable. If anything is like these, think about these things, right? If anything's excellent for Jesus are thinking, just changes and transforms, transforms our mind. So that's that's how I would answer that question is God has changed me, but through the word and through others, through you, and through my experience and through my journey, and that's how he's a personal Lord.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it is so personal, so personal. How about you?
SPEAKER_01How about you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, I mean, this will just kind of you know represent that, like how personal it is. So, what God has been impressing on my heart lately is I literally woke up one night and just kind of that same kind of hearing, right? He said, When you are rested and relaxed, I can move mountains. And like that one is just he just keeps reminding me. And so I've just been working at being a good steward of my time and sleep and energy so that I can be a vessel for whatever it is he's calling me to do today. So that's really cool.
SPEAKER_01That's really cool.
SPEAKER_00So good, Bob. Thank you for just having this conversation. I want to have more of these because I just can't um I realize like I just can't not share it anymore because people are seeking it and need it, and it's just such a huge part of my life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, maybe our third one will be how do we live that out in our work? Right? Yeah. And I think you did. We were gonna, did you want to share a tool with somebody here?
SPEAKER_00With the Oh, yeah, share that tool because that kind of inspired this conversation actually.
SPEAKER_01It did. Um, we've used a really cool tool. It's for great for small groups, great for each other, great for marriage mentoring, great for marriages, period. You guys can do this as coaches.
SPEAKER_00Great for deep conversations, deep conversations, family and friends.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna share with you the life map worksheet. And it's divvied up by heritage, heroes, high points of God, hard times, and the hand of God. And you just in very narrow, very short space to fill it in because you got to be concise.
SPEAKER_00Nobody wants to hear, like, you know, three hours all the story at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Maybe they want to hear three hours, but not just at the same time. So it's kind of a great way to kind of even write this out, map it out, and share it with each other.
SPEAKER_00Especially as comments.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yep. We've used this many, many times. Um, and you you've asked questions on the podcast that are around
Self-Help Versus Self-Discipline
SPEAKER_01some of these questions. You did it today. And I just think it's a great way to go beneath the surface with with others, because that's what God asking us to do is stop, stop staying on the surface. Go go deep with the Lord.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, let's talk about the real, real things that we're all seeking. That's yeah, so much bigger than this, just this physical experience that we're having. You know, we're I we were just reading this. It's like we are not um, oh, how does it go? We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we're spiritual beings having a human experience.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, that's so good. That's so good. You're gonna have to put that quote in your in your note because everybody's gonna want that one.
SPEAKER_00So good. Thank you, Bob. Thank you for these conversations. I just value these so much.
SPEAKER_01Me too. Thanks a lot.
SPEAKER_00Okay, have an amazing day, everybody.
SPEAKER_01Bye.
SPEAKER_00Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. Before you move on with your day, pause and capture one thought or takeaway that stood out to you. Write it down so it doesn't get lost in the noise. And if you're ready to go deeper, come join me in my free monthly class, conversation, and guided writing to help you see things differently and move forward with clarity. Save your spot Carlareeves.com forward slash free class.