Differently with Money - Kelly Marshall

In this episode, Kelly Marshall, Prosperity Advisor, joins me to talk about how we can think and do differently when it comes to money.  

We discuss...

• The most common obstacles when it comes to money
• The opportunity that awaits when we are willing to shed outdated ideas and beliefs about money
• How to reframe the way we approach debt and budgeting
• How knowing who you want to BE when it comes to the topic of money can change everything
• And, so much more

Learn more about Kelly Marshall at: https://www.238accounting.com

Join Kelly's Prosperous & Profitable Community at:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/Prosperous.Profitable/

Connect with Kelly on IG:  https://www.instagram.com/kellymarshall.238accounting/

Check out Profit First, By Mike Michalowicz 

Learn more about Carla:  https:/www.carlareeves.com/

Connect on IG:  https://www.instagram.com/carlasreeves/

Learn more about Carla:
Website: https://www.differentlyco.com

Get The Differently Journal:
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Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast

Go to https://differentlyco.com/events to get The Class schedule, sign up, and/or pass it on to a friend.  Come hang out and learn with us for FREE!

Book a Complimentary Strategy Call with Carla:  https://bookme.name/carlareeves/strategycall

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Thank you for listening!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

A few years ago, I was on a business training call, and a woman spoke up on the call talking about finances in your business. She had a very unique and different perspective and approach, and I knew I had to meet her. I tracked her down and later hired her to help me support me around finances in my business. She literally changed the landscape of how I think about and manage money in my business and my life. Today she joins us to share many of the things that I learned and more. Kelly Marshall is a bookkeeper, prosperity advisor, coach, and today she shares insights around different ways to approach budgeting, debt, and the shame we carry, how to lighten up our approach to money, and how we can align our values and goals to all of our money encounters, and so much more. Get ready to think differently when it comes to money. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. So welcome, Kelly. So excited you're here.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. So happy to be here with you and have this conversation because it's an important one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

So tell us just a little bit about you.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Yeah. Well, I'm a happy wife and mom. Um we live in Buffalo, New York. We have lots of little fur babies around us too. We have two dogs and a cat and a hamster and some fish and a crazy little household. Yeah. Um, and you know, I um I've been an entrepreneur pretty much all my life. I was the little girl picking raspberries and selling them at the end of my driveway and, you know, doing garage sales, and and um, even as I started a professional career, I always had something going in an entrepreneurial experience. And but I had these kind of um different segments of my life. And in the last couple of years, I've been able to pull them together in a business where I do support conscious entrepreneurs, people that are looking to make a difference in the world. And I support them with um a skill set and background that I've developed with money and accounting and a lot of the practical pieces that are so important to a business, they're they're really important to everyone, whether or not they're an entrepreneur. I just choose to work with entrepreneurs, but really supporting them with that part of their business so that they can continue to make the world better, so that they can expand their impact. And through that, I get to really have an impact in the world. So that's kind of where I've um that that's been my little journey into this money world and entrepreneurial world.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

I love that. I love that you brought up what you did when you were little. I think there's so many clues to what we did when we were young, to our passions and our deep, deepest desires. And I also love that you have been able to sort of combine those different parts of yourself into your work and feels good, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Yeah, and it and it took a while to get there. You know, it took me a while to figure that out. I had them very separate. Um, and this business has been my way of bringing together, and it's it just feels so good when you can have that alignment of your your purpose and your passion with what you're doing for your for your money. It feels really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

What are what um who do you primarily work with? I know you said conscious entrepreneurs, but do they fall in as uh I and they're impact driven. Um, but do you work with mostly women, men?

SPEAKER_01 3:47

I have worked with mostly women. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off there. I have worked with mostly women because I thought that that was only who I wanted to work with. Um, and then just in the last year, I had the opportunity to be in a group where it was all conscious entrepreneurs, men and women, and I found out that it it wasn't that I only wanted to work with women, but I wanted to work with that right energy. And that's when I opened it up to men and women and found it was really it was really the difference makers. So it's I call them the helpers and the healers, but it's really the people out there um, primarily with service-based businesses, that are um often heart-based and they're supporting others, you know. So um coaches and um people that do energy healing businesses and things like that.

unknown 4:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

And what do you see come up again and again for people? Like I know you help us untangle and transform those money beliefs. And so what do you see come up again and again for people?

SPEAKER_01 4:49

One of the biggest things with that group, and it's not only the group of the helpers and the healers, but one of the biggest things is well, there's two things that come to mind. One is kind of wanting to ignore that money piece, and it comes out of two places. Um, either it's something that they just naturally don't want to pay attention to, are just not, um, it's just not they feel like it's not that important to them and it's just it just truly isn't, or there's one where it's more of it's a judgment about it. They they have these feelings, like they they have a vision for themselves, they know they have this potential, they want more money, but they judge themselves for it. So, and that really comes into play with the spiritual entrepreneurs, the conscious business owners, because they truly want to do their work as a service of their heart, but they um they also need to make money. And and when it comes to the money piece, when it comes to charging for it, it can cause this love-hate relationship with money. So I really help them um work through that because I I know the importance of them doing well, because the better they do, the better they can help the world. And when they don't pay attention to that piece or judge themselves and um they don't make the money that they need to make, then they it's harder to walk their talk. They might have to go out of business and go back and get a job. They're not fulfilling their purpose in the way that they could when they can resolve that love-hate piece. So that's what I see a lot with that group, and that's not isolated to entrepreneurs. I mean, spiritual people in general, or anybody really um can run into those same types of blocks and same type of money stories.

unknown 6:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Like a inner conflict. Yes, for sure. Well, and I know that's something you helped me with. I think I fell on the side of just a little bit of avoidance around money, like it's over, it's over there. And I don't I didn't pay as much attention to it as I needed to. And you know, you came into my life right when I went out under my own brand. And we'll talk about profit first later, but starting to work with you at that time and really, you know, getting in the know about my money, around my business, and knowing my numbers and looking at them regularly, and just being informed was really a game changer around um just my confidence, around even thinking about it, talking about it, not getting weird about it, just being real about it. And so, yeah, what's the journey you yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Well, I was gonna say what's so funny about what you're talking about is it keeps reminding me of where I was um prior to meeting my husband, you know, which was at 27. So prior to that, so when I was kind of on my own until 27, I had that avoidance piece for some reason, even though I worked in accounting, I had that background, I had all the knowledge I needed, but I I remember not opening letters for my insurance company, and I ended up getting dropped from there. And it was such a silly thing, and it was just that I wasn't opening the mail, I was avoiding it. Or my mom would have a conversation with me, and I couldn't even talk to her about money because I was in this weird place with it. I was feeling, I think it was shame and feeling funny about it. And it was in it started in my relationship with my husband and learning to work through knowing that that was an important part of our marriage and being willing to do the work to learn how to talk with him about it. And he had a totally different viewpoint on it, and in that in our relationship, um, it really broke that open for me where I was able to then talk about it. And I really think that was the beginning of my work, even though that was 10 plus years before I even started this as a business. Um, it was the beginning of my work, and it was that healing process for me helped me understand what's possible for others too. Um, so that was kind of my journey with that.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Yeah, for years in my marriage too, it would be anytime we would talk about money, it would just spiral into this almost just the same conversation over and over again and so unfulfilling. And it would really just get in the way of our love and connection. And I got so fed up and tired of that. And I remember one day in my mind, I just all of a sudden I really got clarity and saw that I was allowing money to rob our love and connection, and it was like this hierarchy I saw, and I had finances above the well-being of our marriage, and in my mind, I just flipped those two pieces, and then all of a sudden, money became something to handle in our marriage in our life instead of allowing it to rob our connection anymore. And it's not that it changed everything, like it took time, but since then we've been able to just talk about money in a more just calm manner, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Yeah, or even playful. I think that's something that you've brought into your money relationship is a little sense of play that it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be a negative or a or a downer or that spiral. It can be playful and um and fun and just bringing a little bit of that energy into it the way we would any other self-care practice, if you think about that, or any other intentional practice we have, we might have to to decide what energy we want to bring to it and you know be really intentional about it until it becomes a habit. For mine, it was really the shame piece. My husband just didn't have that, like he came into this with a different value system around it, and that was the part that let me release some of the shame around the money piece, and that's a huge one for a lot of people. They have a lot of judgment about how they've handled it in the past, or you know, this belief, especially if we think about business owners, but it really goes for anybody. We all think everybody else has it figured out, and we're the only ones that have this struggle, and I'm here to tell you that is so not true. And I know because I have a lot of these conversations, and everybody, when they first start sharing stuff with me, too, you know, they kind of do it so tentatively or with all these like, ah, these like excuses or you know, these stories behind stuff. And I just help them see that their story is is not unique, that they share that, and that they can um overcome that feeling, the judgment feelings around it, and start to release that, and then change their their trajectory with it, change their path with money to um really be able to align it with where they want to go with their goals and their dreams.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

So, two places I want to go. One is what you see as far as the impact when we allow these beliefs to kind of run our uh approach around money, and two, um, the shifts that you see once people really do start to be courageous and really look at this stuff and make changes.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Yeah. So the first one, the impact when we allow it to rule us, is and I I'm trying to keep be mindful of both the individual and the person as an entrepreneur or you know, um business owner, because in both cases it's playing small, like it keeps us um limited, it puts an invisible ceiling of some kind over us that keeps us locked down into our current um reality of what we're experiencing. And in that can and if it's not enough, that can be really painful and cause all kinds of stress and um things like that. What happens often is I find that people will make just enough, like just enough that they can kind of maintain this level that they've you know kind of created their identity around. They they've decided, you know, I'm middle class, I've got some debt, you know, I've got this business, and they can kind of cover their bills and make things work, but they're frustrated because they're not getting to that next level, they're not breaking through that. And as we start to unwind some of those stories that are keeping them in that place, they can start to level to rise up and kind of level up to the next level. And what's interesting, I had a really fun experience of working with somebody kind of in a shorter container, and she she leveled up and and she started making more money, and we weren't working together at that same level, so I wasn't, you know, meeting with her monthly and kind of celebrating her money goals, but we had a check-in, it was almost a full year later, and we worked through some things, and I I pointed out to her she had broken through a six-figure mark and didn't even know it. And it was so cool, first of all, that that she had created that, but then to when I let her know that piece, I got to witness her whole identity shift around it. So that's that other piece when they when we kind of can untangle some of those things, but we can't just stop paying attention to it. We still have to pay attention to the numbers. And once she knew, oh my gosh, I'm now a six-figure business owner, the permission she could give herself, she had a totally different conversation with her son about money that day, where and she said to me, I would have handled that different had I not known what I had accomplished in my business. And it was so fun to truly get to witness that for her, that you know, that she was able to break through that level and then really shift into her identity and and really claim that space, you know. If if she keeps doing that work and pays attention to it, she can stay there and then level up. If she kind of, if we start to ignore it or slip into those avoidance behaviors, she can slide back down to kind of that comfortable level underneath that ceiling that she had created up into for the rest for her life up until that point. Does that make sense? Yeah, completely.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

It makes me think of, you know, I've heard people say that people that win the lottery, you know, they they win the lottery and then their life will just they either spend all that money or like basically bring themselves back down right to where they were. Yep. And that's just what you're describing. And if we don't address the beliefs and really do some work around that, then we don't um expand that capacity or raise that thermostat.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Absolutely. Yeah, we have to shift the identity to match that. I actually think it's good to shift it before you get there, but then we have to do the work to maintain it and not kind of slide back down. So if they at that point put in the support systems that somebody, let's say they win millions of dollars, if they put in the support systems to support that, if they work on their beliefs around being that person, they can hold that level of worth. And if they don't, they're gonna go right back to where it's comfortable. And that's just our, you know, our subconscious or whatever we believe it is, kind of returning to that normalcy that feels safe. And so we have to break out of those things that make us feel safe to accomplish the goals that we have. And I think what's interesting too, what I what I see, and I know that I talked to a lot of people that um in my world that you know push for the entrepreneurial piece or push in their career or are really just kind of happy to stay where they're at. And I really have a belief that people that have that inner knowing that they have the potential for more are the ones that do have that potential for more, and that's why that desire is there, but they have to be willing then to to um raise the thermostat, as you said, like to create the capacity for that more. And if if they don't do that, they fail to do that part, they're gonna keep getting the results, that comfortable result of where they've always been. So there is um some work to be done to kind of break through to that level, but it's doable. And you have and you have that knowing that desire is placed within you because it's there for you. You just have to do the work to kind of unlock it so that you can get to that level.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

It it makes me think too that that's just you know, it's not unique to just money, you know, in the work I do with clients, it's like expanding your capacity to receive love in your life or to give love. You know, we if we don't do the work, we can return to those protective method um mechanisms where we, you know, push love away. And it's really the same kind of thing, right? We expanding that capacity to for whatever it is in our life. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about how you like what are ways we can begin to think and do differently around money? What are some simple ways that you you find really effective?

SPEAKER_01 17:12

You know, I think um I've got a couple that come to mind. Um one is like I talked about the shame or those pieces, that heaviness, being willing to question those things and being willing to to first start with releasing some of those. And I have a concrete example of one. So if you think about debt, that's a big one that people um that feels really heavy for people. It comes with not only that the fear of that obligation, um, but also the shame around why it's there. You know, a lot of times people will feel um like I don't know, there's this judgment piece around holding debt, those that have that. Some people are gonna hear this and be like, I don't even know what she's talking about. Like my husband would never have had that piece. But for me, that was a big thing, and for a lot of my clients it is. And so reframing why that debt's there, and I don't mean in judgment. I mean, there's some that are very easy. So if somebody's taken on debt, like think about student loans, people don't hold a lot of shame around those because that's kind of a socially acceptable debt that people have accumulated. But the same thing goes, you know, if somebody's invested in something for their business, or if they've maybe taken a trip that's created lifetime memories, or even if they just did it to survive, you know, finding ways to reframe that debt without the judgment can shift the heaviness of it. So lighten up what that debt load is and know that it's it's just that it's not it's not morality, it's not indicative of what kind of person you are, it's just an obligation you have to pay back. So just reframing how you feel about your debt can be a great way to lighten up around that feeling so it's not dragging you down. Reframe it, make a plan to get it, get rid of it, and work towards your plan. It can be as simple as that, but it starts with releasing the heaviness, it starts with releasing the shame, releasing the overwhelm, opening up the mail, opening up the bills, getting it organized. Those things all help you lighten it up and create, um, let go of some of the heaviness around it. It's much heavier when you're ignoring it than when you just look at it. And if you so true. Yeah. And if if somebody needs support around that, they can get a person, or they can also, like I said, kind of employ some self-care habits around it, you know. There's one money coach out there, and she'll talk about, and this isn't for everyone, but she'll talk about pour yourself a glass of wine, have a little piece of chocolate, and then go work on your money stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Or I'll take a money date.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Yeah, money date. Or somebody's starting to do it and it's starting to feel overwhelmed, go take a bath, take a break, and then go back to it, you know, create some um support for yourself around that, some self-care around those pieces. And it it might sound silly, but it makes all the difference in the world. What I find is people think, well, I'm gonna get, you know, let's say, like for entrepreneurs that have ignored their money for a whole year and now it's um, you know, they now they need to get their information in for a tax preparer, they've got to do their taxes. And there's probably a lot of people at certain times of the year that face that and it feels so heavy, they think they've got to sit there for three days and go through everything. And, you know, if they kind of employ those self-care habits and just pick away at it, maybe dedicate a few hours, you know, if it if they need to do it in the short time, set up some time blocks and get it done instead of feeling like it's this big heavy thing that they have to do for, you know, a painful process for three days or something like that. So just and then for the next year, spreading it out so it doesn't feel like it's this big thing at the end of the year.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

I think that's a place that you helped me so much. You know, I think as an entrepreneur, for years it was like I just had this pressure on myself, and you've kind of touched on that that I should know all this, I should know all these things about money, I should be managing my money better, and all these shoulds that made me feel terrible and asking for help and hiring out that part of my business to have you really come in and support me and bring your expertise that I didn't have to be the expert and that you were there to guide me and help me look at my numbers every month, like literally sit with me and kind of walk through what the different things mean and where there were shifts or changes, and help me really start to think about um the way that I was spending or the way that, like the way that I was just thinking about all of it, you expanded my thinking so much around that. And the, you know, prior to hiring you and having that profit first methodology, uh, I would be that person at the end of the year, scrambling and dreading pulling everything together for my taxes. And after working with you, I've never had that. I had the money is, you know, we set it aside all year long, and so it. Immediately comes out the moment I make it. And at the end of the year, the money's there and ready to, you know, I'm ready to pay taxes. And you put together the reports for me. And that's just taken such a huge load off of me personally and in my business. And it makes me feel so empowered and feel so good that I'm on top of that.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah. And that alone can make a difference in your money making. You know, that alone, like feeling so first again, it kind of goes through that releasing that judgment, the shoulds, and kind of be like, okay, I'm just going to get help with this. And then because it's all taken care of, there's that good steward, if you will, you've heard that expression about money loves a good steward. And because you know that part's taken care of, it it frees you up to just make the money. And I think that when people don't, they kind of ignore that step. And not that everybody has to hire it out right away, there's kind of a progression to that point when your business is ready for that. But when they are paying attention to it and they know it's taken care of, it opens them up to then grow their business. When that part is is iffy, and I've seen the same thing happen. Some people will find a way to kind of break through that ceiling without dealing with that part, but then all the money's gone and they're spending it. And so, and they don't know how to scale their business, they run into other problems. So it's really an important to pee, a really important piece to take care of at any level in your business, um, because it just frees you up to make more and then have some of that in your pockets or like keep it, you know. We we you mentioned profit first, which is a great cash management system, you know, where you're taking care of the things you need to take care of. You create the buckets for your tax money, you create the bucket for what goes to Carla personally, you create the bucket for what's there to run the business, and then we have the profit bucket, and it just simplifies that piece. So that question of, well, I don't know how much money is available to spend in my business, it makes that easy. You don't have to wonder about that. It takes the mystery out of it and you just get in the habit. Um, and the same can be done in personal spending too, and um either create, I'm not a budget believer, I don't love budgeting. I think it um it often is not the thing that is really the answer for most people, and if anything, can make people feel like failures if they don't accomplish it. They, you know, you hear a lot of money coaches out there really pushing that, or you you know, people that have done well in a budget, but that might be the right solution for them, and it may not be the right solution for you. And so I'm really a believer in kind of that the buckets, that idea of um having categories of what you need to spend or what you need um to save, but not budgeting down to like this is you know, this is our entertainment budget, this is our food budget, you know, kind of having buckets for this is our family spending money, you know, knowing the things that you have to take care of, the mortgage and the car payments, having that kind of bucketed, you know, and the other piece to that is really thinking about the spending as you're spending in your business or in personal, is that spending a lot aligned with your values? Is that spending reflecting who you want to be? Um, and really thinking about that. There's that intentionality again, you know, really deciding who you want to be with your money, um, and looking at how you're spending it to see if it's aligned with who you want to be.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

I'm getting so excited. Yeah. So a couple things. One, you talked about being a good, like being a good steward of your money. And that that just so speaks to me because well, partly because of my faith and it just and my values. It just I want to be a good steward of money. And so being in the know and understanding it and and paying attention to it and nurturing it and all those things was just all a part of that, which you really helped me work through. But one of my favorite exercises that you gave me was around this idea of really bringing your spending into alignment with who you are and your values. And talk a little bit more about that because I think, you know, I think you asked me like what kind of spender do you want to be? And really tying that in with your heart and what's important to you. And I love that. So say more about that.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah, I'll try to make it a quick one because that could be a 45 minute conversation. But yeah, I mean, really thinking about who so let's do it as an example, maybe thinking about who you want to be. And if who you want to be is someone that pays attention to their money or somebody that um, you know, um, I'm trying to think of a different phrase for it, but um somebody who why can't I think of one, Carla? Give me one.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Well, I'm thinking of one, a couple.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Okay, you go ahead and give one.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Well, I was just the things that were coming to mind was like, you know, being generous. Let's like something around sometimes I would feel if I didn't have enough money, then I can't be generous. And that's not true. I know now. And so being generous around money or or having your money really have a positive impact.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Yeah, you know. Yeah. So let's go with that one for a second, like um being a generous spender in the fact with it making an impact, not a generous in like it's just going everywhere. Right. And you let's say you start to, you know, you you can there's two ways to do this. You could just move forward with that idea, or you could kind of look back at at what how you've been spending. And if you think about looking back for a second and you see it's a lot of like um kind of impulsive spending, or it's spending that's just kind of emotional in the moment, spending, and it's it's maybe you're um, and I say all of this without judgment, but I'm can be guilty of this. Like, let's say you're walking through the the line at TJ Maxx or something, and you you find three things as you're like waiting in line to go up there that impulse. Never done that. Yeah, me either. Um, you know, and it's not like say those things end up not giving you value in your life. They didn't, they didn't really weren't really joyful, they you know, just ended up um being thrown out a little while later, whatever that looked like. That's not that's an example of a time where if you had thought about that and thought about like if I if I didn't buy this little tchotchke thing that I didn't really want or need anyway, that that would have been more money I could have been generous with, or I could have used that to um buy something for somebody special that was really intentional, or whatever that looks like for that person that's identified that they want to be a generous spender. Those are those moments where you start to give yourself an anchor of what to to evaluate your spending on versus it's not in my budget. Like that feels really restrictive, that feels really for me negative. And if somebody tries to restrict me, I'm gonna be like, well, then I want two of them. You know, I get like that little brattiness. But when it's when it's really truly by my choice that I've made and I choose to that I want to be this intentional, generous spender, and that little thing really doesn't matter to me. It's just an emotional, kind of fun little high as I'm walking up to the cashier. I can I have that moment to analyze that in a very empowered way and say, you know what, I don't want that because I'd rather give this money to this other thing that I like to support, or um, whatever that other way of aligning to your spending. So it gives you that that moment to think about your spending, either looking back on the past or going into your your daily life that is a non-restrictive way of um aligning your spending to your values and to your goals. And that's the really important piece, too, is like even as we say good steward, it's not getting into judgment for the things you've done in the past. Like it's kind of like knowing more now, like know now you can do better, kind of a thing, and start to meet yourself where you're at today and move towards that that place instead of well, they said I should be a good steward and I'm not right now, and so you're gonna sit in judgment, and that's gonna spiral you the way that we don't want it to spiral you. So I think getting intentional from where you're at right now and moving forward with that can feel really empowered instead of restricted. Does that help? For sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Yeah, I I just I I love when you talk about because I think budgeting, I always had this should around budgeting, and it just never felt aligned or right for me. And um, it it your approach gives you so much more freedom and choice. Yeah. And I like that. I was laughing because we talked about TJ Maxx. And like, you know, it used to be you just had that little section before you checked out that was like you could grab some simple things, and now it's like a mile long. And if you I I was thinking like that's the ultimate task.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

It really is. It they know what they're doing. Whoever created that new little checkout thing, that is it's it's temptation, and it's got they hit every category as you walk through. So yeah, I mean that that could be a great. It's funny if we when the world opens up, I could lead little tours through TJ Maxx and talk about spending. Um, the other thing that came to mind, and this almost felt like an intuitive hit. So somebody that's going to be listening to this needs to hear this, is you know, another piece where I some spending leaks can happen. I like to think of it as money leaks or spending leaks, where it's things that really aren't serving us, not in the restrictive way, but in that really empowered way. And there's something around boundaries, you know, there are um people who, you know, you think about parents and spending with their kids, or like the the mom that never buys anything for themselves because they're only buying it for their kids, or can't say no to their kid for what they want, or even with a partnership, you know, that was a hard one. I'm a nurturer and I love to really take care of people. And so when I was in charge of our budget, if you will, for our home, and like I said, we don't budget, we do buckets, but we have a spreadsheet, we're very nerdy accountants. And so when I was in charge of that, that was challenging for me to say no, to have that boundary around money for myself or for my partner. And so um, really thinking about who you want to be with money in that way too. What are the boundaries that you want around that for yourself and for others? You know, nurturers have a habit of giving away money, or and if it's not money, it's time. And so, really supporting yourself and thinking about the boundaries you want around that um can be another example of intentionality with your spending that can be very supportive.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

Yeah, so I want to circle back quickly and just say mentioned Profit First, and it's a book by Mike McAllowitz, and you and I actually met over Profit First, which is so funny. Um, but great book, and I'll make sure I link that. Um the other thing you were talking about is you know, our spending values. And I think one of the things you really helped me to see is you know, setting aside that profit money and paying a little something to myself, even from the very get-go, however small that is, and then and then using that money in a way that really aligned or felt good. And I I I found out pretty quickly that, you know, spending that money on an experience with my family or you know, doing something, uh, all of us together, that that was a great way for me to bring more play and lightness and joy. And, you know, we worked so hard to bring in money. And then I was not always great at at really enjoying some of the fruits of the work.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

And so do you see that a lot? Oh, for sure. That's one of the smart so Mike's book is so simple and so smart. It doesn't always mean it's simple to implement, and that's where you know people could use some some help. But the concept is really simple and it works with our behaviors, and that profit piece is part of that behavior because uh before I had profit first, the reason I actually even sought out that as a solution was I had a client who he was a he's been a client forever. So I've had, like I said, an entrepreneur forever. I've had a bookkeeping business for 15 years, it's just been in the last three years that it's evolved into the coaching. So for years I would work with him and and on paper he made money. On paper, at the end of the report I gave him said he made money. And it was the the catalyst for me finding profit first as a solution was he said to me with with almost tears in his eyes, and he had a multi-million dollar business, and he said to me, Cal, when when do I get to take a profit? And my heart broke because this man had worked hard, he worked hard for that. And the truth was that it was on paper, but there was nothing left in the bank account. There was nothing, there was no wins for him and his family during that time. And or if there were, it wasn't stuff he recognized because it wasn't intentional. And so I didn't have an answer for him because on pay, I was an accountant and on paper, he made money, and I didn't, I didn't understand that piece. And then I found Profit First and read the book and understood the behavior piece of that. And it we have to be as business owners, like what often happens is we make the money and we just spend the money and we hope there's some left over for us at the end. And if you keep it that way, there won't be. And so Profit First allows for you to intentionally um pay yourself first, profit first, pay yourself first, and the way that they they teach you to handle the profit piece of taking that win on a quarterly basis is such a behavioral impact for the for the business owner, for their family, to say to your family, like, we get to go do this fun thing because a mommy's business is so empowering, feels so good for you as a business owner, helps them enjoy parts of that too. Like you did work hard for that, and it allows them to kind of enjoy the fruits of that labor too. So it's super powerful. And for some people, they don't give themselves permission, even if they're not the type that spend all the money, they still don't give themselves permission to enjoy that money. And so I I often focus on the people that spend all the money, but that's not true. You know, in in your case, that's not true either, but it's permission to spend it. And sometimes that's all we need is that little bit of permission, and it made it more fun. It wasn't like I was, oh, I'm blowing this money from my business. It's I'm supposed to take this. This is my profit distribution, this is my win. And just that little shift, again, it's back to intentionality. That little shift and that little bit of permission makes it so much more fun.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

So true. It makes me think back to corporate days when I did get a bonus check, you know, and that was so exciting, and and it was so it felt so different. And then when I started my own business, I in the beginning, I didn't have that. And you helped me really implement that piece to bring back that excitement about it again.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

And well, yes, you mentioned you can start small, and that's what's important too. Like the first time, I think the first time for us, I took out all of us for ice cream. That was our first time, and that was what I had. It was, you know, I just started, so you can start small, but it's creating that habit so that as the business grows, that amount grows, but the habit is is formed in there. And that can be done on the personal side too. So people that have a job, some of this is our your taxes are taken care of. You already got that bucket, but when that money's coming in, kind of thinking of those buckets in a way that are supportive, so it's not just, you know, how do I cover all my bills? It's thinking through some of those other buckets. They can use the same behavior system that Profit First uses without it being budgety, you know, it can be done in a different way.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

So good, so good. So I know you have a gift for people listening. Um, but before you describe that, I know it relates to you have a system or something that you help people really understand kind of who they are and their patterns around money. Tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Yeah, it's called the Sacred Money Archetypes. It's created by Kendall Summerhawk, but it's it's an awesome assessment. It starts with an assessment that helps you determine your top three archetypes. And archetypes are really um, they represent a a pattern of how you, you know, how you make decisions and how you kind of exist just naturally and who you are. And so with the money archetypes, um, it helps you really understand. I call it like your filters, it helps you understand your money filters, like how how do you run a decision through your money filters and come to your decision? And we have different natural archetypes, and so it can so the assessment allows you to know yours. I think it's also really important to understand a business partner's or a spouse, or you know, it might even be fun if you've got older children to like understand theirs so that you can understand if your husband comes up with something that seems totally crazy compared to what you came up with, he has different filters and understanding his filters um can help you understand his decisions more and it creates this place where you can start to have a different conversation versus you're not. I don't understand how you came to that decision. But even if you just focus in on yourself, like think about um we talked about the judgment and the shame. If all of a sudden you understand, let's say you've been avoiding money and it's because you're a connector, that's in your nature to do that, and you can suddenly have a little bit more space of understanding for yourself and a little bit less judgment towards the things that have happened in the past. Like let's say you tried that budgeting system and you're very much not the type that that's going to be a strength for you. You just tried to implement a system that didn't work for you or didn't wasn't meant for you, you know. So you're not a failure, it just wasn't the right system. And so it helps you understand what are your strengths and your challenges so that you can start to take actions aligned with your strengths versus your challenges. You can start to make decisions based on the things that will be really supportive of you instead of trying to fit into somebody else's box. So I think it's a it's a valuable tool. I use it with all my clients because I need to understand where they're coming from, because then I can I can support them in a in a different way. So the assessment I have for free for your listeners um to check it out if they're interested in that.

SPEAKER_00 40:40

I love that. Well, and you really helped me to when you said, you know, understanding your partner's um type and design. It's so helped me to just sit back and respect some of his behaviors instead of judge them. Yeah. Or make them wrong. And it really helped me communicate around money differently. So I love that.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

So yes, so where how do they find out about that? I know we'll link it in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

But it's just um my website, so 238, the number's two three eight, which is my daughter's favorite number when I started the business, which is a very creative way of naming your business. 238accounting.com, and then it's a slash SMA, so sacred money archetypes, 238accounting.com slash SMA. And then they can take the assessment and they'll get an email of their top three with a little description of those.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Okay, great. So before we close, I just want to ask you what is what is your why behind this? I I mean I can see like you're you just light up when you talk about it, and I just want to know, I want you to share what is what is it that just lights you up about supporting people in this area?

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Yeah, that's a great question. Um you know, it a lot of it, the the selfish piece is that I I get so much fulfillment out of knowing I've helped grow a business that's making a difference. So when I thought about what I wanted to do, that was the biggest piece of aligning that part of the business because it was my way of having an impact. It was my way of taking these skills, um, this accounting background and these skills and applying it to a way that I could create a lot of impact. So that's super fulfilling. But what I love, it just makes me feel good. And I love that part when I'm talking to somebody and they have that shift, like that conversation with the one client where she realized she hit the six figures and it changed everything. And that moment where she had that aha, it it just fills my heart. Like, and I think that's where the piece, you know, why the focus, especially on women, but it's opened up to conscious business owners, because we undervalue those pieces so much. We we um we beat ourselves up about those pieces so much. And so that the fact that I can support somebody and lift some of that burden off of them, lighten that up for them, it just makes my heart full. And that's so that's the big why. I don't ever want to have to look at a business owner again. Maybe this really could have come down to maybe you're helping me have an epiphany. I don't ever want a business owner to look me in the eye and say, when do I get to take a profit after 10 years of hard work and say it's on paper? I never wanted to be in that position again. I wanted the tools to be able to support him so that that he didn't have to feel that way anymore. Because we shouldn't, business owners shouldn't work that way or shouldn't feel that way. They should be able to enjoy what they're creating in the world.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

Wow. Okay, so where can people find you? I guess you gave your website, but why don't you just say one more time?

SPEAKER_01 43:55

238accounting.com. And then my other favorite place to nurture people is in my Facebook group. So I have a a group, I'm in the process of changing the name. So I'm gonna say that right now it's prosperous and profitable female entrepreneurs. And if Facebook ever allows me to, because right now there's a glitch, but it's I want it to be prosperous and profitable conscious entrepreneurs. So if you search prosperous and profitable, you find it either way. Um, and I love to to serve in there. We once a week I do a money talk on Mondays. Um, it's a very supportive um group of people that love to celebrate each other, and so it's it's really fun, and I'd love to have people join me there.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

Awesome. So I just want to thank you for being here today. I hope people listening can feel and I just you bring such a lightness around the topic and such a freedom, and um I feel inspired always after talking with you, and it's no different today. So thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

Thank you for tuning in today's episode of Different Link. I hope it was thinking of the body.