Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal and The Conversation Club, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
You have a tool in your back pocket to sort through, navigate and create what's happening next in your life. The best part? It only requires pen and paper!
This episode, I share how writing became a tool to navigate my life. I went from being a stressed out stay at home mom to finding my voice and clearing away blocks to my realest, truest self.
This short episode will show you the four ways I help my clients use journaling: a daily check-in, to empty, to process and to create.
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Thank you for listening!
SPEAKER_00
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. There have been several times in my life when I felt a strong internal nudge to do something. This particular time was when I was a new mom. I had the opportunity to leave my corporate job and be a stay-at-home mom. And here I was doing what I had dreamed of since the time I was a little girl, and caught in between what everyone else was doing, seeing a lot of stress and struggle, and quite honestly, saw a lot of moms around me that were quite miserable and that would ripple to the way that they parented their children. And I knew there was something different or more. I had this sense that there was something greater. And I felt this incredible calling to write. I knew that that was one of the greatest gifts I could give my kids. I didn't know why I was supposed to write. I wasn't sure where this would go, but I did know I needed to listen. And I did. I wrote and wrote for what seems like months looking back. And then there was a day I sat on the edge of my bed looking back on those pages I had written. Not really sure why I was looking back, because I hadn't ever really done that or looked back at my journals and what I had written. But in that moment, sitting on my bed, I realized that in all those days of showing up to write, even when I didn't want to, even when I didn't really have time, even when I didn't see results or know if anything was happening, I knew in that moment that something important had unfolded. You see, when I started writing, it was clunky and awkward. It didn't sound the way I wanted it to. I wanted it to be different. I wanted it to sound like my friend who wrote so beautifully, wanting it to be really profound so that if one day my journal was found, it would sound good. Even on my own pages of my own journal, I wanted to be different, be better, be more. While the process was grueling on days, and I discounted that anything was happening, there was something bigger at play, and that's what kept me showing up again and again to write. And then there was the day she skipped across the page of my journal. Who was that? She was different. I liked her, I wanted to get to know her, and as quickly as she appeared, she was gone. But the flicker was enough to keep me writing. I couldn't wait to see her again. Over time, she showed up more and more. I liked her voice, I liked what she was about. It felt real and pure. And I came to know this voice as my own on the pages of my journal. And as I gave her space, she would reveal herself more and more. The voice I became close with was the me that had been hiding out for years, feeling like she needed to be better, more, something she wasn't. She was there all along, but I had shushed her and pushed her aside so many times that she'd stop trying to say anything at all. But as I gave her space, she would reveal herself more and more. And as I got more comfortable with her, she began to spill out into everyday life, little by little. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was clearing away all the noise and debris that clouded the view of my real self. It was the front, the facade that I had created or thought I needed to create to receive approval from others. That was the part of me that I didn't like. It wasn't the real me. I believe now that when we pull away the clutter, that what we find is this imperfectly perfect design that God created us to be. And it was here that I found my own resistance, harsh judgment, self-doubt, criticism begin to quiet. At first, I think the people in my life were a little surprised by this girl who found her voice and courage, but over time they too came to know her. The funny thing in life is often we're trying to be something more better. We think the answer is to be better, be more, work harder. When the real answer actually came from doing less and getting quiet and listening inside and beyond myself. This is how writing became a tool to navigate my life. Sitting on the edge of that bed that day, I knew in my heart I was here to share this tool with others. And since that time, journaling has become a daily ritual I go to again and again and again to get clear and rooted. You know, even this morning, life can sometimes sweep me away. You know, comments from others or feedback from others or outside influences can uproot me and leave me feeling unsettled. And it's writing is a tool that brings me back to center, gets me connected to God, to a much bigger picture, so that I can really figure out who I am and what I'm here to do, regardless of the circumstance. It's a place I go to to explore, to savor the moments, to walk through challenging and overwhelming feelings, to get quiet and listen. It's where I've built a business, figured out how I want to be for others and support others. It's helped me and been a place where I create and map out the lifestyle and the business I want to create. It's how I figure out how I want to show up to my for my family. It's a place I go to to listen and get quiet again and again. I never set out to be a coach. Coaching found me, and it was journaling that actually led me to coaching. And I'll have to tell you that story another day. But today, journaling is a core component that I use within my coaching programs and with clients because it allows clients to do the same, to explore, to shed a lot of the mental noise that keeps them from their truest, most fullest self. And my coach training is really around using the writing with a client to help them reveal their blind spots and their thinking, the places where their thinking is getting in the way of what they truly, truly want. And it's helps, it's a tool that helps us work together to help them shed those facades that they have that are keeping them from the things they're here to do. Often people think of journaling as, you know, for negative emotions and working through the hard stuff. And I actually remember a client once saying to me, she felt like she had to have a problem in order to journal. And I knew in that moment that I needed to really share some different ways of journaling. And I want to do that for you today, uh, with this idea that journaling can really be a tool to help you navigate your life. And while journaling can be amazing to empty and process heavy and hard emotions, it's not the only way that you can use it. And I want to give you several ways that you can take into your life today to uh to really lighten up your life in a multitude of ways and really take part in the creative process of everyday living. It can really be a playground for your mind and your ideas, a place to get quiet and listen, and just a daily practice that is really grounding. So the first way is just a daily check-in. And think of it like just a check-in with your head and your heart. Um, take a look around what's happening in your mind. What are you most grateful for in this very moment? Just a check-in. The second way it can be used is to empty or to process. Like I've said, take out the mental trash. Your journal is a great place to do that. Think of uh like a glass of juice that I don't know, I think of a glass glass of juice that's been sitting in one of my teenagers' rooms for a couple days and it just needs to get emptied. It's the same thing with our mind. Those thoughts sometimes stick around too long, and they just need to be emptied and dumped out so that you can fill it, clean it with something new. The same is true for your mind, and the journal can be a great place to just empty. Get out those stagnant thoughts that have been circling and circling around and dragging you down. There's a book called uh The Gift by Edith Eager, and she says the opposite of depression is expression, and she talks about the importance of getting things out of your body and getting out of your mind because they create dis-ease. Journal can be a great place for emptying that. We carry a lot of thoughts in our head, and so just having a place to empty those can be very healing and create a lot of new space in the mind for new ideas and new thoughts. Another way that you can use journaling and that I use journaling is to process. So when a thought or a series of thoughts are swirling for an extended period of time, it's my indicator that it's time to write. Or if I'm feeling stuck on moving forward with a project or a conversation or a task, I know there's likely a good reason, and it's time to sit down and write. Five or 10 minutes of emptying thought, getting clear about the ideal outcome for the situation and sorting through what's holding me up is a sure way to get moving again. It's really powerful to get unstuck. In fact, I used that this morning to get really clear about uh a next podcast I was gonna do. Another way that you can use journaling is uh for clarity. So for years I lived in the land of I don't know, meaning that I would just always hear that thought in my head, I don't know, or I would say it out loud. And it stalled me out and in ways protected me from taking risks and kept me safe, I guess you could say. But it felt terrible. So I found a backdoor that allowed me to enter into a place of deeper wisdom, often divine wisdom. And so when I feel stuck or I'm swirling or looking for clarity and feeling like I just don't know, I stop and ask myself the question or write it in my journal. If I did know, what would it be? If I did know, what would it be? And then I listen really closely. This is where magic happens. There is always something that comes out of listening to that question that gives me clarity or a next step or points me in the right direction. So another way I love to use journaling, and you can too, is to create for creativity. It's literally a playground for your mind. It's think of it like a blank canvas, a big poster board where you get to splash and paint and try things out. And just like I described, find my voice, find my truth. You can journal to capture ideas, you can journal to create companies, you can journal to plan out a conversation, an important meeting you're you have coming up. Uh, it's a great place to brainstorm, to uh launch a new idea and on and on and on. A place where your heart and your mind can be free to experiment, to try things out. It's a canvas for your life. And the last way that I'll mention, not the most important way, but certainly uh a really effective way, is to log or list things, make lists. Uh, I think that's a form of writing and journaling, and to log things, things, important things that are happening. You know, I think we think of the traditional diary as, you know, we write about what's happening in our daily life. And while that's a really important way to journal, and your journal is a great place to capture challenging and beautiful moments of your life, it's not the only way. And there are so many ways you can use it as a tool to really create mobility in your life. So trust that you have a voice inside of you that is pure and authentic and wants to come out. And if you feel that, your journal writing can be an incredible tool for drawing that out. And regardless of whether you feel that or not, writing can be an incredible tool for creating mobility in your life. So trust that you'll know exactly the way that's right for you and let it take you somewhere new. If you've ever felt the nudge to write or you're feeling it now, I encourage you to take action. Get out a piece of paper today, get out a journal, whatever it is, create an experiment or a commitment around a certain period of time, whether it's two weeks or two months, so that you can give it some space and time to see the rewards. You just might find that you have a tool in your back pocket that's available 24-7 that only requires pen and paper and you getting quiet. And it just might help you sort through, navigate, and create what's happening next in your life. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, hit subscribe on your favorite podcast app, and please help us spread the word by sharing this podcast with people you know. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.
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