Ep 281 - Building Communication Skills For Introverts with guest Tonya Lehman

Have you ever wished you could speak up with confidence in any room, without having to change who you are? In this episode of the Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall sits down with educator, speaker, and coach Tonya Lehman to explore practical ways introverts can build strong communication skills and confidently share their ideas.

You'll hear Tonya's inspiring journey from feeling invisible at a work party to becoming an empowered, skilled communicator—and how these lessons can apply to your own life. Gain actionable strategies to navigate group settings, boost your confidence, and find your voice as an introvert. Discover the power of preparation, the value of embracing your strengths, and how to create supportive environments for yourself and others.

Key takeaways include the "power of three" for impactful communication how improv games can boost quick-thinking skills, the difference between introversion and shyness, and tips for leaders to make meetings more inclusive for quieter team members.

Tune in for real stories, expert advice, and encouragement to help you speak up and thrive—just as you are. Listen in, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/281

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Tonya Lehman, an educator, speaker, and entrepreneur residing in San Diego, California, champions the importance of effective communication. Drawing from her diverse experiences, she offers insights and practical techniques to enhance public speaking skills, catering to both introverts and extroverts alike.

Connect with Tonya: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Linkedin | Youtube

Transcript

Tonya Lehman [00:00:00]:
That was when I decided, you know, there's nothing wrong with me. Quiet people still have things to say, but I'm going to have to figure out how to navigate a world where the talkative people get the attention, the talkative people get drawn into the groups, the talkative people get called on, they get their voices heard. So I went on a journey to figure out what skills I was missing. And once I started developing the skills to speak up, my confidence gained. And right now I'm at a point where I can walk into any room with strangers and navigate without being nervous. It may not be the most enjoyable time, but I can participate. I know how to do that now as an introvert and speak.

David Hall [00:01:00]:
Hello and welcome to episode 281 of the Quiet Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host David hall and the creator of Quiet and strong dot com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally. Well, our each episode on a Monday is sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review or a rating that would mean a lot to me and help others find the show. Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Tanya Layman, an educator, speaker and entrepreneur residing in San Diego, California, champions the importance of effective communication. Drawing from her diverse experiences, she offers insights and practical techniques to enhance public speaking skills, catering to both introverts and extroverts alike.

David Hall [00:01:56]:
All right, well, Tanya, welcome to the Quietest Strong podcast. It's so good to have you on today.

Tonya Lehman [00:02:01]:
Well, thank you, David. This is going to be a great conversation.

David Hall [00:02:04]:
Absolutely. And talk about the great work you do, especially around helping people, especially introverts. Tell us about your journey and how you got to the work that you're doing now.

Tonya Lehman [00:02:16]:
Years ago, my husband took a new job and we went to a work party at the manager's house. My husband. When we walk in the front door of the manager's house, my husband is quickly absorbed in conversation. Everyone knows him as the new guy. I look around and I go to the buffet table. I fill my plate and I got my Diet Coke and I look around. I have a pleasant smile on my face and no one talks to me. I go over to a circle of people and have my pleasant smile on my face.

Tonya Lehman [00:02:52]:
I kind of nod and follow the and they closed shoulders to keep me out there. I felt. I felt very uncomfortable. So David, can you guess What I did.

David Hall [00:03:07]:
What'd you do?

Tonya Lehman [00:03:08]:
I went to the guest bathroom.

David Hall [00:03:10]:
Okay.

Tonya Lehman [00:03:11]:
And I stayed there.

David Hall [00:03:13]:
Okay.

Tonya Lehman [00:03:14]:
In there. I just slowly ate my food and drank my Diet Coke. Then I wiped down the counter. I. I even read every ingredient in the hand lotion bottle just to stay away from having to go back out to that uncomfortable place. Well, you can't stay in the guest bathroom forever, so. So when I left, I looked, and I saw a woman who had come to the party after me, and she was just like me, completely ignored. And I go over to her, and we cling to each other like we're on a lifeboat together.

Tonya Lehman [00:03:57]:
And I actually enjoy having a conversation with her the rest of the evening. But after that, that was the turning point. That was when I decided, you know, there's nothing wrong with me. Quiet people still have things to say, but I'm going to have to figure out how to navigate a world where the talkative people get the attention, the talkative people get drawn into the groups, the talkative people get called on, they get their voices heard. So I went on a journey to figure out what skills I was missing. And once I started developing the skills to speak up, my confidence gained. And right now, I'm at a point where I can walk into any room with strangers and navigate without being nervous. It may not be the most enjoyable time, but I can participate.

Tonya Lehman [00:05:02]:
I know how to do that now as an introvert and. And speak awesome.

David Hall [00:05:10]:
And that's a big part of this show, you know, building confidence. And you're not going to change from being an introvert, but you sure can understand it and gain confidence. And, you know, I struggle with the word quiet. You know, the podcast is quiet and strong, and it doesn't. It just means thinking a lot. And I have a lot to say. Just like, you know, that's a myth that we bust on this show. Introverts, we have a lot to say because we're always thinking, but, you know, we need to develop the right circumstances for us.

David Hall [00:05:42]:
And sometimes, like you're saying, it's, you know, you have to do things maybe you don't want, but we can also create more space for the things that. That suit us.

Tonya Lehman [00:05:53]:
It's like if you're at a work meeting and the leader is asking for input. Well, the extroverts are the ones that just talk and they're thinking of ideas, and they're thinking of them out loud. And the introverts, like me, we're thinking about how we're going to compose the email to send after the meeting with our ideas for the solution. Whereas extroverts are the ones that get heard and seen.

David Hall [00:06:21]:
Yeah, yeah. I mean, we can, we can do our best to prepare ahead of time and we do better when we do that, but we also need to create cultures where, you know what, let's. Let's send out the agenda ahead of time. But it's also okay if you contribute after, you know, it's, you know, ideally you're contributing during the meeting, but it needs to be okay that you think of something later and you take your time and compose your thoughts in an email.

Tonya Lehman [00:06:51]:
That.

David Hall [00:06:51]:
That needs to be okay. And it isn't always.

Tonya Lehman [00:06:54]:
Yeah. So often I work with leaders who want to help their quieter team members.

David Hall [00:07:02]:
Yeah.

Tonya Lehman [00:07:03]:
Leaders who are aware that we have a whole gamut of how we think and process. So that. And the goal is so every voice, every team member drives results. And that's better for everyone.

David Hall [00:07:17]:
Yeah, absolutely. And it's so important. And we'll be talking about leaders and leadership today. It's so important to understand the different personalities on your team and what they need, where their strengths are, because we all have our own set of strengths. So, first of all, I always ask people, how did you figure out that you were an introvert and did you have to learn to embrace it?

Tonya Lehman [00:07:40]:
Oh, I can't. I don't remember when I took that word for myself as a description of myself. I know that I have always been more quiet. If you asked me, oh, Tanya, how was your weekend? I would say, it's fine. How was yours? And then get you to talk about your weekend. Even if I had a fabulous weekend, I've always been like that in groups of people that I know and are happy to be around. I. I do speak more and have more in depth conversations because it's safe.

Tonya Lehman [00:08:26]:
When did I decide? When did I get that title? Oh, and I know that I'm. I'm good for. If I'm at a conference or some training, I know I'm good for four hours and then I just need to go outside and take a break from all the people, all the input, and just kind of recharge a little bit. I've always known those things about me and I. I'm not sure when I figured out the introvert extrovert thing.

David Hall [00:08:57]:
Okay.

Tonya Lehman [00:08:58]:
The labels, the titles.

David Hall [00:08:59]:
Yeah. And what's a strength that you have because you're an introvert?

Tonya Lehman [00:09:03]:
Oh, I think in charts and lists. So I am number one organized person. After I'm done with this podcast, we are having an Open house for the end of the school year.

David Hall [00:09:18]:
Okay.

Tonya Lehman [00:09:19]:
You would think that I would be. All these people are coming over. I have. Ah. But no, I've got my checklist and things are being done ahead of time so I can actually enjoy the evening. And I told you the work party story. Going to my husband's boss's house. My priority is that everyone that comes to my house for this end of the summer, end of the school year party will feel connected and will feel welcome.

Tonya Lehman [00:09:58]:
So I'm on the lookout. The party is not for me. The party is for these students to feel valued here at the professor's house.

David Hall [00:10:09]:
Awesome. Awesome. And another thing Tanya, we do on the show is we bust myths. Is there a myth about introversion you want to bust today?

Tonya Lehman [00:10:18]:
Oh, you know, you are just shy. Okay. Shy means afraid, Right. Have you talked about this before? The difference between shy and introvert?

David Hall [00:10:30]:
Yes. Yeah, but go ahead.

Tonya Lehman [00:10:32]:
Yes, yes. And I. It's different. And both being shy and being introvert have different ways of approaching feeling more comfortable with lots of people around you.

David Hall [00:10:50]:
Yeah. And I always say too, I know shy extroverts, shy, like you said, means you're lacking confidence, you're afraid for some reason. There could be lots of causes, but it's not the right word. It's not synonymous with introversion because extroverts could be shy too. And I will say, for me, overcoming shyness and gaining confidence was understanding my introversion. That was the kicker for me.

Tonya Lehman [00:11:20]:
Interesting.

David Hall [00:11:21]:
There could be a lot of other causes, but for me that was just realizing. Yeah, you know what, you're not going to say as many words but you have some great things to say.

Tonya Lehman [00:11:32]:
Absolutely right.

David Hall [00:11:34]:
So tell us about the work that you're doing now.

Tonya Lehman [00:11:38]:
Yeah. I'm a speaker and coach that helps introverts who are tired of not being heard to gain the skills and confidence to speak up for personal growth and professional impact. On the professional impact side, I have coaching, group coaching, the confident presenter training, so that if you are in charge of the weekly all call or if you have a presentation coming up, I can help you overcome the myths of presenting as an introvert so that you can be successful. Successful with confidence when you present.

David Hall [00:12:19]:
Yeah. So let's talk a little bit just about confidence. How do we gain confidence when it's lacking?

Tonya Lehman [00:12:24]:
Well, people talk about mindset and there are, there are myths about presenting and one of the myths is, well, that person just has a natural talent for presenting. So I don't have that natural talent. I just will never be a Good presenter. Okay, well, that's a myth. All we need is to work on the skills just present. And as you're working on the skills, you become more confident and at presenting. And we get rid of the talent myth.

David Hall [00:13:03]:
Yeah. So we can absolutely learn to become better speakers and presenters.

Tonya Lehman [00:13:09]:
It's like I'm learning to play the ukulele. And in the beginning class, there were four things our teacher told us. You need to strum, and so it's down, down, down, down. You have to do the chords, you have to sing, and you have to smile all at the same time. And in the beginner class, strum, strum, strum, strum. I could do that. Well, now I'm in the intermediate class, and we are learning the island strum, which means down, down, up, up, down, up, down, down, up, down, up. And I.

Tonya Lehman [00:13:50]:
Okay, I could say, oh, I just don't have talent to play the ukulele. I'll just let other people play the ukulele. Well, no, David, anybody can. All you have to do is practice the skills in a safe place. Place. So at home, I'm practicing the down, down, up, up, down, up. And I'm to the point where I can do the strums, the chords, and almost sing at the same time. I can't smile yet.

Tonya Lehman [00:14:22]:
But it's the same as speaking. We can get the skills and practice in a safe place so that you can present and speak up with confidence.

Speaker C [00:14:33]:
Yeah.

David Hall [00:14:34]:
How did you decide to become a coach?

Tonya Lehman [00:14:38]:
I found myself as I'm learning and presenting and speaking more when it's important. Okay. We don't have to be extroverts and talk all the time. As I learned to speak up when it was important, I noticed other people who were talked over or other people who would start to say something and then shut down. And I wanted to help. I have the teacher background, so working and training and teaching other people is very natural. And as you asked, I do have organization skills. So organizing a coaching program with effective learning outcomes comes naturally to me so that the people I work with progress and have success.

David Hall [00:15:31]:
Yeah. As you're working with introverts, how do you help them as a coach to embrace who they are and use their introvert gifts? Because as we were talking, you're not going to change, but you can learn to use your gifts, you know, and you could and you succeed by being yourself and not trying to be something you're not

Tonya Lehman [00:15:53]:
for any time you're either officially presenting or even just asked your opinion. I teach the rule of three. The Power of three. You have the answer. The answer. And then three reasons why. If you're giving a toast at a wedding, well, you can prepare. Introverts.

Tonya Lehman [00:16:16]:
We can plan. We can prepare. Let's raise a glass to the bride and groom. I have known them since they were in kindergarten and they were in love way back then. They have a great future together. And you know it because they already have puppies that are thriving with them. And that's why we're gonna raise a glass to the bride and groom. So three things.

Tonya Lehman [00:16:42]:
Even if it's just like some advice. So if I was going to give you some advice about where you should go, perhaps on vacation, I could say, David, you should go to San Diego, California for vacation. One, the beaches are beautiful. Two, the fish tacos are amazing. And three, the people there, like Tanya, are so friendly. And that's why you should go to San Diego, California for vacation. Do you want to try? One, do you want to give me someplace to go? And three reasons why. Oh, gosh, it could even be the grocery store or your favorite restaurant.

David Hall [00:17:21]:
You know, I'm in Arizona. You can definitely come here in the winter time because there is no winter. One, it's. We also have good tacos.

Tonya Lehman [00:17:34]:
Ah. Too.

David Hall [00:17:37]:
And there's some beautiful sunsets.

Speaker C [00:17:40]:
Ah.

Tonya Lehman [00:17:40]:
Three. I've heard about that. And that's why you should go to Arizona. I've heard about the sunsets. I teach the power of three, because your audience, your listeners, listener, they're not going to remember more than three. And there's something satisfying about three. And that's something that we teach and we practice together, both in my workshops and in the coaching sessions.

David Hall [00:18:05]:
Yeah. And that is important to remember because our brains can only do so much. And it's good to know where those points are and the good numbers to share. So you said you, you became a coach because some people were, you know, you saw people not being heard, not being visible. How do you help with that? How do you help people become more visible and be heard and have their great ideas shared?

Tonya Lehman [00:18:31]:
If I'm in a room, a conversation, and I notice that somebody is being left out of the conversation, all flat out interject and say, oh, David, I bet you have something interesting to share because you had shown that you were ready to share something. I bet you have something interesting to share about this. Let's listen to what David has to say. Because there are people who do all the talking because they want you to think that they are so smart, that they know everything and there are people that do all the talking because they aren't aware that other people want to contribute to the conversation. They monologue because they're not aware, oh, there's this one lady in one of my groups, and it's painful. Okay? So when somebody is monologuing and you have something to say and you want to contribute, okay, you have to decide, are we just going to let that person monologue? Maybe that's what you're going to do. But if you want to train them to have a conversation, maybe it's somebody that you walk with every. In the morning and they do all the talking, but you want to have a joint conversation.

Tonya Lehman [00:19:52]:
You want to train them to listen to you too. When they take a breath, you quickly say, oh, I'd like to add something to something you said a while ago, and then say it right then. And it's okay that it's a while ago. And hopefully the person who's been monologuing will take a clue and say, oh, well, and then comment on something that you have just talked about. This woman that I'm talking about in this one group, she still will hear what you say and then just keep going as if you didn't talk at all. And I think. I think she's lonely. I think she's missing human connection and still doesn't understand that conversations are like a gentle game of tennis.

Tonya Lehman [00:20:46]:
The conversation ball has to go back and forth. Otherwise people don't want to be around you.

David Hall [00:20:52]:
Yeah, there's definitely people that don't realize it's a. It's a game of tennis. You know, it's funny, once sometimes I bust this myth that introverts are good listeners. And I should say always, because, yes, we can absolutely be great listeners. Right. We may not be because what you're talking about might be going on. And just because we're not talking doesn't mean we're listening, because the other person, like you said, is. Is monopolizing all the time.

David Hall [00:21:20]:
So we. We may not be listening. In that case, we can be excellent listeners. But the conversation does need to go both ways.

Tonya Lehman [00:21:28]:
Yes. Yes. And you know, David, I've actually found that improv works really well for introverts. Improv is the best way to gain the skills to communicate with confidence and clarity. And I'm not saying you have to go on stage and do improv. There are clubs online and in person where you just get to play improv games. I have a group at the senior center where we play improv games together, and I have an online speaking games club. We Meet weekly.

Tonya Lehman [00:22:03]:
It's improv for introverts. The most important thing is it's a safe place to practice taking turns speaking.

David Hall [00:22:14]:
How does that work? We're not always the best thinkers on our feet. You know, that can be a struggle for introverts because we're thinking deeply and, you know, it's. We're. We're taking a bit of time to think. But you're not the first introvert that's. Come on. That said, the improv has been very helpful. So.

David Hall [00:22:33]:
So tell. Let's dive into this a little deeper. How does it work and how can. How can it be helpful?

Tonya Lehman [00:22:40]:
So improv is a mixture of charades, guessing games, and storytelling. When I'm a toastmaster, I think Toastmasters is a fabulous organization, and it's very good for introverts. But I found that I needed more help spontaneously answering unexpected questions. Yeah, there's an improv club just for getting together and playing games. And so I signed up for it. And it was Wednesday nights, and I would drive there, and I would dread it. I would say, no, I don't want to be here. And then when I get to the improv club, I'd sit way in the back and keep my head low and say, don't call on me.

Tonya Lehman [00:23:22]:
Don't call on me. But inevitably, once every class, I'd be called up to play the improv game. And then driving home every single night, I'm just filled with joy. I'm laughing over the things that were said. I'm thinking about what I said and what I could say. Better next time. And after a while, the dread went away, and I'm now in leadership in that improv club. And I teach improv games both for the Senior Adult center and for the Speaking Games club online.

Tonya Lehman [00:24:02]:
It's excellent to help us get rid of the inner critic. Well, I shouldn't say that, because something. We just need to speak in the moment. And I have an improv game if you would like to play it with me right now, David.

David Hall [00:24:23]:
Okay. Like I said, I may not always be the best at improvising, but let's go ahead.

Tonya Lehman [00:24:30]:
So this game is called I have a gift for you. So I'm going to give you a gift, and you're going to take the gift and unwrap it and open it and look at what it is. You'll say, thank you for the whatever. You're making it up. And now I didn't know what I gave you. I have to say, oh, well, I'm so glad you like that whatever. I gave it to you because something. So if you gave me a gift and I opened it up, I said, oh, David, thank you for the real live turtle.

Tonya Lehman [00:25:06]:
Well, now, David, you have to think of, why did you give me a real live turtle? And you may say, oh, I gave you a real live turtle because I heard your pet snake escaped and you wanted another reptile for a pet. Okay, we're just making things up. And the im. The speaking goal that we're getting is to just come up with something off the top of your head. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to make sense. You ready to try?

David Hall [00:25:35]:
Sure.

Tonya Lehman [00:25:36]:
Okay. I'm going to give you a gift. David. I have a gift for you.

David Hall [00:25:40]:
Okay, So I know what the gift is.

Tonya Lehman [00:25:43]:
You know what is? I don't. So you open it, pull it out, and say, thank you for the whatever.

Speaker C [00:25:48]:
All right.

David Hall [00:25:49]:
Thank you for the new pair of sunglasses.

Tonya Lehman [00:25:52]:
Oh, I knew you wanted sunglasses because you live in Arizona and summertime is coming. Yeah, like that. Okay, so give a gift to me.

David Hall [00:26:03]:
All right. Here's your gift.

Tonya Lehman [00:26:05]:
Thank you. Oh, real live ruby slippers, just like Dorothy had in the wizard of Oz. Thank you.

David Hall [00:26:15]:
Yeah, I knew you needed those because, you know, sometimes you have to get away from the nice weather in San Diego.

Tonya Lehman [00:26:20]:
So click your heels together. No place like home. Excellent. Yes. So see how you had to gracefully deal with uncertainty? Something was happening that you didn't expect, that you had no way to prepare for. Well, in life, we have to spontaneously answer unexpected questions. And playing improv, like the I have a gift for you game, helps us develop those skills to spontaneously answer in a way that makes sense. Just like you did with my ruby red slippers.

David Hall [00:26:57]:
Yeah. So how do we silence the inner critic and I? I have a theory that the inner critic speaks loud, loudly to introverts because we spend a lot of time in our heads. So how. You know, and inner critic was talking to me right now, like, when we were playing the game, you know, how do. How do we. How do we silence that inner critic?

Tonya Lehman [00:27:19]:
Repetition. Practice. If every week we got together and we played games, like improv games, where you had to come up with something right on the spot, well, you'd just be like me, driving every week to the improv club, the improv class. I dread it, dread it, dread it. But then after a while, realize that I can come up with something on the spot because I've done it enough, it's a practice. It's just like learning the island strum on the UKULELE practice in a safe place and we get better. And so being able to give somebody a gift, open the gift, pretend whatever it is and then explain it, doing that enough in a safe place where people aren't going to say sunglasses. Why did he say no? We always, in improv, it's yes, and we accept your answer and we go with it.

Tonya Lehman [00:28:23]:
That's what makes it. If it's a club, that's a safe club. That's how we can silence our inner critic. Just with repetition and practice in a safe place.

David Hall [00:28:34]:
Yeah, and I think you said something else too. It's also you're telling yourself, oh, that was fun. Or, you know, that wasn't so bad.

Tonya Lehman [00:28:42]:
Yes.

David Hall [00:28:43]:
You know, just changing. If you have fear around it, changing your thoughts around that fear, but doing it like you're saying, practicing it, but then changing your thoughts around whatever it is that you think is scary.

Tonya Lehman [00:28:58]:
Absolutely. That's brilliant. Yes.

David Hall [00:29:00]:
Okay, So I even see on your screen the speaking confidence coach, empowering introverts. I love that.

Tonya Lehman [00:29:08]:
Thank you.

David Hall [00:29:09]:
How do we prepare for presentations and speeches as introverts? Is it, is it any different for introverts versus extroverts? When getting ready for a presentation or a speech?

Tonya Lehman [00:29:24]:
Introverts are good at planning. So that may be one difference. Writing with your three points, always three reasons. Three points. Three is the magic number. Practicing, maybe introverts are better than that. Introverts, extroverts, I don't know. But preparing is good, a solid thing that introverts can do.

Tonya Lehman [00:29:46]:
Practicing, maybe not. But then when it's time to present, stand up there, have your notes, don't try to memorize it. Have your notes, take a deep breath and then look out in the audience and find a friendly face. The person that is smiling or has a pleasant expression or nodding or leaning forward a bit, don't look at the person who looks very bored, out of their mind, tired, and doesn't want to be there. Look at the person, the friendly face. Take a deep breath and then start with your first line. Having that friendly face in the audience makes all the difference. And now I tell people you should be that friendly face because everybody at some point in time is nervous before giving a presentation.

Tonya Lehman [00:30:44]:
So be the friendly face in the audience.

David Hall [00:30:46]:
Yeah, that's good advice. What, what makes a great presentation?

Tonya Lehman [00:30:53]:
Oh, that's a complex question. That's a. That's a inner intermediate level question.

David Hall [00:30:59]:
Okay.

Tonya Lehman [00:31:00]:
The things that I teach towards the end of the session is adding dialogue, finding humor. Those are the upper level things. The lower level Things is eye contact, using your gestures. Some people, when they talk, their hand goes up and down with each syllable or each emphasis. Okay, that's a poor way to use your hands and use your gestures. Some people, they throw their hand in a circle constantly as they talk. Some people have nervous habits. Those are the beginner level things that we can work to get rid of to make your presentation look better.

Tonya Lehman [00:31:46]:
Nervous habits. Like one lady, she always flips her hair. Another person I know, they fiddle with the button on their coat as they're presenting. And those are things that we can identify. And then practice giving little speeches in safe environments to extinguish those nervous habits.

David Hall [00:32:11]:
Absolutely. So just as far as being nervous, how do we overcome that or mostly overcome that repetition.

Tonya Lehman [00:32:22]:
Enough time. So doing something for the first time, everyone is a little bit nervous. And then if the second time is the very next week, the repetition will help you realize that, oh, my gosh, I didn't die. People didn't storm out of the room. People weren't. So repetition helps. But if you are only speaking up at a meeting every three months, well, every three months, you're going to be terrified. Again, it's repetition, saying yes to opportunities.

Tonya Lehman [00:32:59]:
And then you're going to be seen as someone who has the answers, who's available for leadership opportunities, for promotion, for getting the raise that you deserve.

David Hall [00:33:11]:
Yeah, absolutely. And it's funny, I love doing this podcast. I don't get nervous, which is amazing because that's not always been the case.

Speaker C [00:33:21]:
Ah.

David Hall [00:33:22]:
But I, I learned as far as speaking and giving presentations. Yes. Just like you're saying, volunteer, you know, find opportunities, maybe start small, find opportunities and keep going. And, you know, I've been doing this five years, and I'd like to think that I was every bit as polished, you know, five years ago as I am now, but I know that's not the case. I've just gotten better.

Tonya Lehman [00:33:50]:
You know, how, how far in your podcasting journey do you think you were when you finally thought, ah, I got this, I can do this?

David Hall [00:34:01]:
I think I probably thought that all along.

Tonya Lehman [00:34:05]:
Okay. But.

David Hall [00:34:06]:
But there's been points where I just feel a lot more comfortable and, and relaxed and able to navigate better than, you know, back in episode one or

Tonya Lehman [00:34:20]:
so, because you're interviewing so many different types of people and you don't know how people are going to react to, to what you ask them or where they're going to go on what they say to your questions. It's just such a, a talent that you have to, to keep the conversation Going smoothly with so many different ways the conversation can go.

David Hall [00:34:46]:
Yeah, that's a good point. And like we're talking about, like I, I do my best to prepare. You know, I sent you some questions that we were going to look at. You know, we definitely aren't following it like a script, but also we're doing other things where I do have to think on my feet and, you know, you just get better at it.

Tonya Lehman [00:35:05]:
Yes.

David Hall [00:35:06]:
And if I mess up too badly, I can always edit it out.

Tonya Lehman [00:35:12]:
There's always that.

David Hall [00:35:13]:
Yeah. So as we're talking about this, definitely there's things that leaders can do to help have all the voices heard, the idea shared. You know, leaders going to likely have multiple types of personalities on their team. What can leaders do to help people be heard and have their ideas shared?

Tonya Lehman [00:35:36]:
Yes. Well, what you've mentioned a couple times is the agenda. Please give an agenda ahead of time. Tell me what to expect and an end time. Please have an end time. The meeting starts now and it ends then. And honor that your people are busy, your people are working hard for you and for your company. Don't let someone derail the meeting so that the agenda items don't get met.

Tonya Lehman [00:36:06]:
And we just spend too much time maybe following something that shouldn't have been followed.

David Hall [00:36:12]:
Yeah, for sure. Tanya, this has been a great conversation. Is there anything else you want to add today?

Tonya Lehman [00:36:18]:
Oh, well, I always end every, every talk, every social media post, every presentation with my signature phrase, you are valuable, you can speak up.

David Hall [00:36:32]:
Yeah, that's awesome. And we've talked about a lot of great things to help people do that. So thank you.

Tonya Lehman [00:36:38]:
It was fun.

David Hall [00:36:39]:
Yeah. So of course, where can people find out more about you and the work that you're doing?

Tonya Lehman [00:36:43]:
My speaker page is tanya talks.com. you can find me at LinkedIn, Tanya Layman and on social media, speak up with Tanya.

David Hall [00:36:53]:
Sounds amazing. Thanks again, Tanya.

Tonya Lehman [00:36:55]:
Bye bye. Thanks David.

David Hall  [00:36:58]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free typ finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website.

David Hall [00:37:13]:
This free assessment will give you a

David Hall  [00:37:15]:
brief report including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes and I'd love to connect with you. Reach out to daviduyanstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts and links to social media for quiet and strong and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. So many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and. And be strong.