Tea With Tanya: Transforming. Every. Aspect.
Welcome to Tea With Tanya, where health, wellness, and empowerment intersect to help you unlock your full potential. Hosted by Tanya Ambrose—a public health practitioner, nonprofit founder, and graduate student—this podcast is your go-to space for insightful conversations that inspire growth, transformation, and a healthier, more balanced life.
Every Tuesday, join Tanya in the Tea Tasting room as she explores a wide range of topics, from cultivating a healthy mindset and understanding your body to navigating career growth, relationships, and the unique challenges of womanhood. Whether you’re a woman navigating life, a parent navigating motherhood, or anyone seeking guidance on maintaining physical and mental well-being, balancing the demands of life, or empowering yourself through knowledge, Tea With Tanya is here to serve you.
Tune in for engaging discussions with experts, practical advice, and the motivation you need to live a fulfilling, empowered, and healthy life. Subscribe today and embark on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.
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Tea With Tanya: Transforming. Every. Aspect.
The Truth About Teen Sexual Health: What Parents and Young People Need to Know Right Now
Dr. Natasha Ramsey, pediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist, joins me for a candid conversation about breaking the silence around puberty, periods, sexuality, and consent to empower young people with knowledge that protects them.
In this episode, we're covering
• How our Caribbean upbringings shape approaches to discussing taboo topics like reproductive health
• Comprehensive sexual education includes relationships, communication, boundaries, and consent – not just "the sex talk."
• Knowledge is power – using correct anatomical terms with children helps protect them from abuse
• Parents must check their own biases and knowledge gaps to create open dialogue with teens
• Puberty education should start early and build progressively, including proper terminology
• Mental health directly connects to reproductive health through hormonal cycles
• Young people need to know their rights in healthcare settings to advocate for themselves
• Communication patterns at home translate directly to dating relationships
• Normalizing celebrating periods rather than stigmatizing or shaming
• Building self-trust helps both teens and adults navigate health decisions
Follow Dr. Ramsey on Instagram and follow her amazing work @gorgeous_sexed, or visit her website at gorgeousdoc.com, where she Curates Intentional and Beautiful Sex Ed Resources for All Youth.
There's a problem with sexual health education, and Dr. Ramsey is here to solve it!
Thank you so much for tuning in to Tea with Tanya! If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and leave a review — it helps the show grow and reach more listeners. Join the conversation on Instagram using #teawithtanya #Teawithtanyapodcast, and don’t forget to tag us!
Visit my website at tanyakambrose.com for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @teawithtanyapodcast and @tanyakambrose, and sign up for my Tea Talk newsletter to stay updated with all things wellness and self-care!
Ready to dive deeper into whole woman wellness? Download your FREE guide today and start your health journey!
Support the podcast by buying a cup of tea.
Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living while doing it all, hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya, your cozy space for real, honest and transformative conversations about health, wellness and promoting positive living. Now listen. This episode right here is one I've been so excited to share with you. Not only are we continuing our series on whole woman health across the lifespan, but I am joined by someone I deeply admire and I have been low-key social media stalking them, but in the best way possible. Okay, but before we dive into this conversation, I'm going to keep it real for a quick second. You know, like I would have mentioned last episode, I had a bit of a health scare and that moment just reminded me just how much our bodies are constantly changing and evolving. So it was a wake-up call for me to slow down, to listen in and to keep advocating for my health, especially as I navigate my life in my 30s. And I'm encouraging you as well to slow down, listen to your body and do your best to advocate for yourself, for your health as well. All right, and that's why conversations like the one we're about to hear matter so much. We're talking about puberty period, sexuality, consent and everything in between, because our young people deserve more than silence or shame. So today I'm thrilled to welcome Dr Natasha Ramsey to the Tea Tasting Room. She's a pediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist and the creative mind behind gorgeous sex. Ed Sis is not just brilliant, she's real, relatable and doing the work to educate and empower young people and families through inclusive, affirming health education. We talk about everything from how our Caribbean upbringings shaped our career path to how parents can create open, shame-free environments to talk about periods, sex and mental health and, of course, we drop some gems for our teens and parents alike. So grab your tea, get comfy and let's get into it. Let me tell you this guest I've been stalking her social media for the last couple of months right now and she is doing amazing work. And, of course, when I see my Black queens, my Black sisters, doing something in the community that aligns with what I do in my everyday life, it's always a blessing to have them on the podcast in the Tea Tasting Room.
Speaker 1:Now, when I mustered up the courage to send her this email, I honestly thought she was going to say no or not even respond, because you know, sometimes when you send these emails you don't get to respond all the time, and I think it was between 24 to 48 hours Might've been less, I'm going to be honest, but I'm going to just give myself the benefit of the doubt. In less than 24 to 48 hours she responded and all I saw was yes or sure, whatever. And let me tell you you guys should know by now that Beyonce is my favorite artist. Right when I saw that email, it felt like Beyonce told me yes, I'm going to be honest, I'm just being. You guys should see her laughing, but I'm so serious when she said yes, you could not tell me that Beyonce or Michelle Obama said yes to comment on my podcast and I was just screaming.
Speaker 1:I think I was at work that day. I don't know where I was, but I was. But I was with one of my friends and she was like girl, what's wrong with you? I said girl, one of my inspiration replied to my email wanting to be a guest on TV with Tanya. So that made me feel really, really good, and, of course she's an island sister, so you know it's even more special to have her on the podcast. So I'm going to let her tell us about herself, because she know we know the people here. So give us all the tea, dr Natasha.
Speaker 2:Ramsey. Hi everyone, my name is Dr Natasha Ramsey, and what Tanya didn't know is that I was also stalking her and also very, very happy about the work that she was doing and eager to partner. So when she emailed me, it probably was less than 24 hours it was absolutely. Yes, like we need to link up because I had heard about her work from multiple people.
Speaker 1:And good things right Maybe Exactly.
Speaker 2:I'm just really happy to be here. So, yes, my name is Dr Natasha Ramsey. I am a board certified pediatrician and also an adolescent medicine specialist and what that means is that I take care of specifically young adults and young people ages 11, all the way up to 25. And I handle all the things that come with that transition period, including puberty and periods and birth control and substance use and all the things. That is my nine to five and I work in a school, high school actually so I have a lot of exposure to teenagers every single day. But then my five to nine, or my side hustle and my passion and my joy is gorgeous doc or gorgeous sex ed.
Speaker 2:So I started an organization where I draw and create my own sexual health images that feature different body types, different people of color that are also inclusive, feature different body types, different people of color that are also inclusive of different genders and different people. And then I take those resources of those images and create resources. So I create presentations, handouts and things of that nature. So I always used to draw when I was a kid and kind of like tuck that skill away until when it came time for me to start making content on social media. I couldn't find anything that looked like what I was looking for, so I was like, let me just try, and I started drawing it myself. So that's how I got started, and it has just exploded from there.
Speaker 1:Amazing, amazing, amazing. So what would you say? Because you know we're from the Caribbean and sometimes going up they're often like, oh, you'd have to become a doctor, a lawyer, teacher. You know these different professions Because, might I add, my friend she is MD, mph, and you guys know how I feel about that, because I'm going to have the MPH behind my name in the next couple of months, so I'm super excited.
Speaker 1:But how did your upbringing influence your career path? And I ask this question because at one point I wanted to become a nurse, went to nursing school, failed out by 0.5 points, going to always put that in there, but you know I ended up pivoting to public health and now I can't get away from public health. Even if I try, no matter what I try, to pivot or go back to nursing school, public health always still calls me and you know, at the time having to explain to my family, you know I'm not going to nursing school anymore, I'm going into public health, having to over-explain the type of career you can have in public health. So how has your upbringing, especially in a Caribbean household, influenced your career path?
Speaker 2:So, interestingly enough, both my parents are from Jamaica. They both immigrated to the United States, where they met each other, and then they had me. So I was born and raised in New Jersey, actually, but now I live in New York, so I'm a New Yorker too.
Speaker 1:You're a Jersey girl first of all. Hey, no, no, no Jersey girl.
Speaker 2:Ok, yes, Jersey second, new York third. Yes, so growing up in a Caribbean household, education was very important. It was not negotiable that part. Very early on it was very clear that school was my number one job and that if I didn't do well in school there was going to be a problem. But after a while I became so self-motivated my parents really didn't even have to push me. I was just a nerd. I was one of those people that carried a book bag with all the books in it and I would do my homework for the next day. The day before I was just a complete dweeb, like I would read a lot.
Speaker 2:I was just nerdy y'all, but I also was very artsy. Like I said, I used to love to draw and paint and my dad actually does. He paints and he taught me how to paint and how to draw. And my mom, she was a patient care technician, so she worked in a hospital and so I remember when she was doing her training she would come home and like have to draw my dad's blood to like practice for her phlebotomy. And so I grew up kind of with this mix of like. And my dad is an entrepreneur and he had his own business doing floor installations. So my dad was like the entrepreneur and my mom was more of like the healthcare provider, healthcare worker. But then also my mom loved to write and loved to read. So then I kind of took on all of those qualities and growing up I really thought I was going to be a journalist. I was like I loved to write and I loved to draw.
Speaker 2:I was a very artsy kid, even though I was very nerdy and loved science and math as well. And so when I was in high school I went to a science high school, a health science high school. I wanted to go to the regular high school. My mom was like, absolutely not Speaking of being from the Caribbean household. She was like I don't care where your friends are going, they're going to the science school, and we wore uniforms there too, so that was a plus for her. She was like yes, you're going to that school. So I was exposed to a lot of healthcare fields at that school, but I was dead set on being a journalist and being a writer. I was like I don't want to do anything in the healthcare field. That's not interesting to me. I want to be a writer, I want to travel the world, I want to tell people's stories.
Speaker 2:And so I had found out about this teen magazine that was looking for writers. So I was like, amazing, I'm going to join. So I signed up and it was a sexual health teen magazine, which was even more cool. It also dealt a lot with empowerment and with education and teaching young people about their health and advocating for young people to get like all the education and services that they needed. So it was like the perfect mix of like, advocacy and writing. And then they found out that I could draw, and so I started helping them create some visual images for their website and for their magazine and I helped them design the first magazine and it was just a really cool experience.
Speaker 2:So that was what sparked my interest in public health, like you said. And at the time, of course, my parents didn't know what that was. And my parents actually didn't push me to go into medicine. They weren't like, oh, you need to be a doctor. They just were like, do whatever makes you happy, which was really nice that they didn't like force me into medicine.
Speaker 2:So I kind of came into medicine on my own and I had studied public health in undergrad and I was sold on getting an MPH. I was like I'm getting an MPH no matter what. I don't even want to do medical school. Like I'm more interested in like the population and understand the social determinants impact people's health and how can we create interventions that are going to change people's lives, and not just the one person but the every population.
Speaker 2:But when I was in college I had a mentor who was like God, spoke to me and said you're going to be a doctor, Like you should do it, and I was like I'm going to tell you that and he was also from the Caribbean. Shout out to Dr Khan. Dr Khan is from Trinidad and Tobago Trini boy. So yes, he was like God spoke to me and told me you're going to be a doctor and I said God lied to you. I don't know why he said that to you, but it kind of sparked that thought in my mind because I thought I'd never really thought about it because I didn't think I could do it. But then I started having my friends around me who were also doing it and then there were other classmates who were doing it and there was a lot of support in place at the college. I went to University in New Jersey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wanted to go there too. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:I was in a program called ODASIS, which stands for the Office for Diversity and Success in the Sciences, and that program they literally wrapped us in love and care and helped push us through the entire process of becoming a doctor. So I just kind of stumbled into it along the way and then I realized how synergistic medicine and the MPH were the public health and the medicine part because now I understand the intricate pieces of what affects each individual and I understand the bigger picture of what affects populations, and so I could cross both pathways. So that was a long drawn out answer, but long story short, I didn't want to be a doctor and then I ended up doing it anyway.
Speaker 1:No, we love all the tea here in the tea tasting room because, again, it's kind of like me fitting out of nursing school and I was trying to figure out what do I want to do and then my aunt told me you should take, you should check out public. I said public health. What is that? You know, started doing my. As I was in my last year of my undergrad, I did a study abroad in Uganda and that's when I realized, you know what I can make an impact without being in the clinical setting per se. And that's what led me to forming my nonprofit. When I did, because I was still thinking, you know, I have to be a millionaire to start this nonprofit in XYZ. And I'm like, no, you can bring about change then. And then he sat me down in his office. I will never forget, shout out to Dr Cormier. He said what do you want to do?
Speaker 1:And everything that I said led back to, you know, nonprofit work or maternal reproductive health, and I was like wow, I didn't realize that that was a passion per se, and I will never forget this. One day I was driving from making children to Atlanta and let me tell you I've been taking this route for like two, three years nonstop. Natasha or Dr Ramsey, I should say I've never seen this billboard with a. It was a black mom holding her baby and they were advertising the role of a doula. Mind you, a few days before, he told me you should become a doula to get yourself, you know, get your foot wet or step into maternal and childhood, and I was like I ain't never seen this billboard all this time I'm driving here, me and my sisters. So I felt like it was just divine, it was meant to happen, and I became a doula and I started doing work in this space.
Speaker 1:And here I am now doing the work as it relates to health, education, especially reproductive health, and I think it's a big, broad topic. And what I realized in my line of work and the people that I work with is that when I think that people have access to information or education, they don't and we live in a country because we both live in the United States, where I often call it the good, the bad and the ugly, because there's a little bit of everything and when you realize that, for instance, I moved away to finish my or start college here to you know better myself, of course you know. Obviously then, from the Caribbean, you got to go to college. You know, you know how it is, but realizing that for me it was a privilege to come here and get the education, the access to everything that was there available for me by way of being a green card holder at the time, right, and then the people who have born and raised they never even left their state, who don't even know what resources are available to them.
Speaker 2:There's people coming to their town. Yes, right, Live in New York City. There's people who don't even leave their borough.
Speaker 1:I have an aunt that she wouldn't leave her city unless my other aunt is driving, and she's been living in this country for over 40 years. So I get that. And then coming here to the US and you're realizing that for me, everything feel like you know what. You can touch, this, you can get access to this, and people don't even know what resources is available to them. And then when you look at the social determinants of health and all these different things that play a major role into what people have access to, you know it makes me feel like the work that we are doing, especially when it relates to our young people, is very, very important.
Speaker 1:And recently listen to me, I can talk okay, so if I'm talking too much, I'm sorry my friends here in the TTSA they're not telling me I can talk, but I had my nonprofit, had an event recently because we were doing a focus group, trying to get some information about. You know how can we help people as it relates to menstruation or even sexual and reproductive health education, because, coming from the Caribbean, we're very Christian-based, as we say, and certain topics are just so, so taboo that it's why we're in the predicament that we're in as a society right now, comprehensive sexual education, especially for our teens, or just across the lifespan as well. Because how can we get people to understand that comprehensive sexual education is very, very important for our teenagers, especially in today's climate?
Speaker 2:Yes. So just to define comprehensive sexual health education, it is encompassing of all of the things related to sexuality, so not just the bad things but also the positive things. So what I mean by that is comprehensive sex ed, it's sexual positivity. So talking about sex not just from a standpoint of you can get pregnant and ruin your life, you can get an STI or sexually transmitted infection and die it's talking about it from a standpoint of how do you communicate with your partner? What is a healthy relationship? What is not a healthy relationship? How do you communicate your boundaries with someone that you're dating? What is sexuality? What is your? You know you have a question about like, what type of people you're attracted to. It's encompassing of all of those things, including abstinence, not having sex, and what the research and the data shows is that comprehensive sexual health education is far more effective in decreasing those outcomes that we talk about all the time teen pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections Across the board. Those types of educational programs are more effective in preventing those outcomes. Abstinence-only programs do not work. When you only talk about abstinence, we are doing children and youth a disservice, because their friends are doing things. They may be doing things. They need the information before they are engaging in these activities or thinking about engaging in these activities, so that they are prepared. So the problem is, people are like, oh, we don't want to talk about those things because it's going to make the kids want to do it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell you something as someone who works in a high school with kids ages 13 all the way up to 21,. They're going to do it. They're going to do it Whether you tell them, not to whether you lock them in. I know I have seen some things. Y'all, I have seen some things. Kids will find a way. They will find a way. I know kids who have done things in the school, kids who have done things in the morning before school. Their parents left and went to work. They snuck somebody into the house. I know kids who do things in the park, in the train, in the rain, you name it. Okay. So we have to make sure that they are equipped with that information. But that also means that, as educators, as doctors, as parents, as adults who work with youth, anyone who's youth facing we have to be comfortable with it too, right, and we have to and say listen you can come and talk to me at any time about anything.
Speaker 2:You can come and talk to me at any time about anything and it's important to create that relationship and not judge kids when they bring it to you and say, like, are you doing that? Sometimes they just have questions, sometimes they just want to know so that they could think about it and be prepared if something were to come up. But we have to create this open dialogue with young people. We can't just say you shouldn't be doing it, don't do it, because that's not effective.
Speaker 1:And it's funny that you said that Cause I remember, cause I was back in Antigua recently and we did a session at one of the primary schools in Antigua and that was my first thing, cause we only have one male in a part of our organization, our lone male shout out to Carol Knight. But he came with me to do the session and everyone was having a good time and I remember the. I mean, granted, I don't know these children, but I didn't see any movements that they were uncomfortable in. I remember asking the class do you want Mr Knight to leave? They're like 99% said no, except for one child which I think she was coerced by the teacher as well. So, of course, respecting their privacy or their level of comfort, we had to ask him to step outside for a second, but he did give a little speech saying you know what? We're here to break the stigma, because you're going to have a father, uncle, a brother, cousin, whoever it is, that's a maid, that's going to be in your life, and we should be able to have these conversations.
Speaker 1:But then I later found out that it was the teachers who had an issue, who were uncomfortable actually with him being present, talking about a girl's body part and or like a girl's body part, and I'm like, again, this is where we are. We're keeping that stigma around because we're not engaging in the conversation with everyone. It shouldn't be a boy versus girl or a man versus woman conversation, and I think that's what we are missing in our society for today, because, again, I'm having this conversation and, of course, the girls are like, oh my God, ew, you're saying vulva and X, and I'm like, cause we have to call them the right terms, and even the teachers were like you know what? Oh, I actually learned something today. So I think for me, it made me think about, like you know, what are the myths, or even misconception of sexual health education? Cause these are people who are in grade five, so let's say they're from like ages 10 and up, 10 to 12, essentially, and, like I said, kids are going to do it.
Speaker 1:I had a friend recently because they're going to do it. I had a friend recently, her daughter, who's not even might have just turned 10 this year and she found a message in her phone of them talking about it and she came to me asking how do I approach this topic. She was all nervous and everything, which is fine. Again, I'm not saying you're not saying it's going to be comfortable, but what are some of the misconceptions about sex education that you often encounter in your everyday life, as far as your practice goes?
Speaker 2:The main problem that I see is that people think of comprehensive sex ed as just sex and, like all the other things I mentioned before, there's so many other things. So, really, young people, children, should be learning about some of these topics very early on. You should learn the correct words for your body parts. We don't call your arm a thingamadoo, sure don't, right. We say arm, mommy, my stomach hurts. Right, your kid can tell you my stomach hurts. Your kids should be able to also tell you about their genitals and their body parts. We need to start these conversations early on, right, and this is completely off topic, but I'm going to bring it in now, because there are children and young people who are inappropriately touched or inappropriately, you know, have situations with adults who are doing things to them that they don't, that should not be done to them, or people are touching them in places they don't want to be touched and they don't have the language and the words to use to say, mommy, somebody touched me on my vulva and I didn't like it. Right, we have to give our children and empower our children, give them the words to be able to use, because it protects them. Right, that knowledge is power, that knowledge protects them. Ok, then puberty. Okay, then puberty. Puberty starts. Speak on it, right.
Speaker 2:Well, if we're going to educate people, puberty is a part of sex ed. Right, it's a part of sexual health education. The whole purpose of puberty is your body going from being a child to being an adult, and during that time your body goes through a lot of sexual characteristic changes. So that is a part of sexual health too. You have to have that conversation with your kid. Listen, you're going to start getting taller. You're going to notice that you're growing hair in places, you're going to start sweating. You need to put on deodorant. You're having these conversations and we're leaving out the other important piece of you're going to start to have a period. Let's talk about what a period is. So it's really like a building blocks and a lot of times people just jump to the sex part and they're like oh my God, I got to talk to my kid about sex. It's like you should be having these other conversations with your kids that lead up to that conversation about sex and leads up to the conversations about anything else menstruation, everything else?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because one of the things that we do at my nonprofit Scrub Life Cases we talk about good touch, bad touch and consent, because I think, like I say, starting with the basics, we just automatically jump to sex. What is my personal space? Teaching that? No, is a complete answer. And how can you like I think I even said today you know what try to find a trusting adult, because sometimes that's not even our parents.
Speaker 1:If you're being honest, that is some people. That's not even our parents. If you're being honest, that is some people. It's not your parents, not even like a family member. It could be a teacher, a friend, it could be anyone else, but someone in your immediate family. But I want to ask, because it's something that I get asked a lot too, like even as the editor, I say, oh, how do I have this conversation with my child? And I was like, I mean, that's your child, but I get it. It's very uncomfortable. So how can parents, and even us as educators, create an environment where it's, you know, talking about sexual health, reproductive health with teens? How can we create an environment where it's welcoming then? Because we know, in certain cultures you can't even utter the word S-E-X at all as it's being looked down upon. You're being punished.
Speaker 2:You know again if we're not educating or creating that environment, then we're not. We don't deserve it. So how can they create that environment to have a discussion openly? The first step is you have to check your own bias. Oh, I love that you got to check your own stigma and you have to check your own knowledge base. Okay, one thing about kids. They're going to ask you why, how, when, right you start a conversation with a kid about any topic and they're going to have a million questions to fire at you. So it's important, as adults that work with young people, that we check our own biases and we say you know what, growing up, my mother didn't talk to me about this, or I didn't learn about this in school. So I need to do my research and I need to make sure that I'm prepared so that I can have this conversation comfortably with my kid Right. So that's the first step. You have to really take a step back and be like whew, this is going to be hard, but I got this right.
Speaker 2:The same way people when they had kids. You know, when you're pregnant and you're preparing and you're looking through the baby book and you're buying the crib and you're doing this and you're making sure you're Googling and searching everything. Is this normal? My baby just did that. My baby didn't roll over. You have to remember that adolescence is the equivalent of the developmental changes that happen during infancy, right when a baby is sitting to standing, to walking. We know that when they go from babbling to talking, we see that transition and we're like wow, look how much they've grown. But adolescents are going through the same exact process. So you have to do your research.
Speaker 2:The same way you studied your kid when they were little, you got to study your kid now that they're an adolescent. So you got to do your research. And you have to read on your own and make sure that your knowledge base is good and that you're comfortable with it. So you practice saying the words. If you call it a vajayjay or something you can't even say, the word vagina, how do you expect your kid to be able to say it right?
Speaker 2:So it comes with practice and it comes with reading. It comes with learning and once you do that, then you could sit your kid down and say hey, and maybe sometimes parents have built-in time already with their kids. Maybe on Saturdays or Fridays they do game night, or Saturdays they go to basketball practice together and they drive in the car together and most parents have a time to have conversations with their kids. Dinner time, how's you know how's school Like? There's opportunities where you're talking with your kid when it comes to sex ed or sexual health related topics. They're probably going to laugh. I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Oh, they will. This is awkward, mom, I don't want to talk about it, but they still hear you. Think about how many other times you may have talked to your kid and you're like, oh, they heard me, they saw me do that thing, and now they're doing it. They pick up things here and there. So take that time, those opportunities, those special times that you have together with your kid, and you just say, hey, I wanted to talk to you because you're 13 now and I know that.
Speaker 2:You know you haven't gotten your period yet, but let's talk about it. What questions do you have about it? And then you could tell them a period is when blood comes out of your vagina and the reason why that happens is because your body is getting ready for pregnancy. It's a normal, natural process that all people who have a uterus, all women and girls, go through. Most women and girls go through, right, so, and you have to be comfortable using that language you might have to practice, but you have to be comfortable just laying it out there Also doing your research and finding credible sources, right, because they may not want to talk about it, but guess what they're going to do?
Speaker 2:They're going to go on Instagram, tiktok on TikTok. They're going to learn it from social media. So, if you can, you can direct them to resources that are credible and resources where you know the information is accurate. That is teen friendly. So that way, even if they don't want to talk to you, they could at least go and read it on their own time. There's a lot of books that people use. There's a lot of different techniques, but ultimately, do not avoid the conversation. Don't avoid talking to them about it, because they're thinking about it. Their body is going through a bunch of changes. They're feeling awkward, they're feeling out of place. They may have gotten their period during school. They may have not gotten their period yet, but their friends got their period. They may be afraid to get their period. There's so many different pieces to it, so you have to just face it head on. Do your own research, do your due diligence and just do the best you can.
Speaker 1:And I think I want to add as well, because I know I mentioned about having finding a trusting person, trusted person for the young person. But what about the parents? Because, again, they, you know whatever, because trauma it follows us throughout life, no matter what. You know, everybody have different levels, of course, but maybe they may not be comfortable, because I've seen people not even come to a standard word, vagina, as you mentioned. So maybe we should try to foster an environment also, not only for our young people but for our parents as well, whereas, you know, bridge that gap. And that's what I try to do as well, cause I'm like you know what, I know it's awkward, but somebody has to have that conversation. You can't leave it up to one person to educate your child either, because they're coming home with you at the end of the day. You know what I mean. So I think we have to sometimes think about that. We're talking about our young people, but maybe the parents also. They need that little extra push or extra support so that they can also find a level of comfort to have these conversations, because if not them, then who?
Speaker 1:As you say, the TikTok is taking over. Oh, I started on TikTok and it's like was it accurate, you know? Was it evidence-based? You start thinking like that and we know for the most part it's not. And yeah, but I kind of want to shift a little bit, because you were mentioning periods, periods, periods. You know we're the period, girly, but tell us a little bit about the menstrual cycle. Talk to me like I'm five years old or maybe 10 years old. I don't know anything about my period, I just know I got it the other day and I'm just upset about seeing my period.
Speaker 2:So tell me about the menstrual cycle. Yes, so, like I had mentioned earlier, the menstrual cycle is a normal process in which your body prepares for pregnancy and releases blood out of your vagina once a month or around once a month. So this process actually starts in your brain. Your brain releases hormones. Those hormones communicate with your ovaries. Hormones are little chemicals that control all the things that happen in your body. They communicate with your ovaries. Ovaries are the organs that people who are female have.
Speaker 2:Your ovary makes an egg. That egg is what would turn into a pregnancy if it comes in contact with sperm. Sperm is made by males who have testicles. Now, if that egg and sperm don't come together and that happens by sex, from sex and sex is another topic that we can talk about later but if that egg is not fertilized by that sperm, the egg breaks down and also the lining of the uterus, which is where the pregnancy would grow, also builds up to get ready for a pregnancy.
Speaker 2:The uterus, which is where the pregnancy would grow, also builds up to get ready for a pregnancy. That breaks down as well, and all of that comes out of the vagina and that is a period. Now what happens is your body senses a drop in the hormones and it sends a signal back to your brain and it tells your brain let's do it all over again, and so that's why it's called the menstrual cycle. Now, other thing that people don't, and so that's why it's called the menstrual cycle. Now, other thing that people don't realize is that we are always in our menstrual cycle. The menstruation, or the period, is just one phase of the menstrual cycle, but we are constantly having fluctuations in the hormone levels throughout the month, so we're always in our menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1:Always.
Speaker 2:There's different phases of the menstrual cycle. Like I mentioned before, there's the follicular phase. That's the first half of the cycle. That's when you have high estrogen levels, estrogen is released from your ovaries. There's ovulation, that's when the egg is released, and then there's the luteal phase, which is mostly high levels of progesterone. And then there's the luteal phase, which is mostly high levels of progesterone, and then there's menstruation, and that repeats every single month and, depending on what phase of your menstrual cycle you're in, it could change the way you feel. So during your follicular phase, you have more energy, you have high levels of estrogen, you're feeling great, your skin is glowing, you're living your best life Ovulation a lot of people during that time also feel great. Your luteal phase is when your body feels like it's attacking you Loaded acne. You're feeling sad, you're feeling down, you're feeling tired, you have brain fog, and then you have your period and then it starts all over again. So those are some tips about the menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1:Yes, and one of the things that you mentioned first is that you know it's obviously preparing your body for pregnancy. But that wouldn't be me if I didn't bring up the negative stigma that comes with having a period as well, because you know, growing up in the Caribbean as well, or in certain households, the minute you get a period we were just talking about how we can talk to our children about sexual health and even periods now but the minute you start seeing your period, you could be 10, 11, 12. It doesn't matter how old you are at this point, because once you start getting your period, your mom or dad, somebody goes oh, you're too fast or don't have sex, don't get pregnant. That's the immediate thing that they say. And it's like you know, if you tell a child I mean, if you tell me something not to do, I'm going to try to figure out. Why shouldn't I have done it? So I'm going to go do something and then learn the hard way and suffer the consequences and the children that were in again being influenced by social media heavily.
Speaker 1:What can we do essentially to foster or just debunk certain myths that comes with seeing a period? Because, again, yes, you know I can get pregnant. But I'm 12 years old, I'm not even thinking about a boy, or my hormones aren't even changing yet. You know, I'm just about to go into puberty. Why is that the first thing that my parent or somebody is telling me? So how can we really and truly get to have a better understanding of this natural process but also debunk any sort of myth that may come with? Oh, a girl is in her period. Know what?
Speaker 2:Yes. So I think that's a very important point. Once someone starts their period, they can get pregnant, and I think that that's the biggest concern that most people have. When I got my first period, I was 13. I remember it was a month after I turned 13, my birthday's in March. I got my period in April. It was literally like April 14th, March 14th it was literally like a month away, and I was so pissed. I was not ready for this. I didn't want this right now. I was just just living my little, you know teenage life and I remember my mom. I think she was at work, but I think when she got home she gave me some pads and she basically said you can get pregnant. Now I'm telling you there was no kind of explanation of like what was happening, why it's happening. You know how it can affect my mood, how to like manage it. There was none of that and God bless my mom, because she didn't know either. She couldn't really teach me because she didn't know work.
Speaker 2:That I do as well is educating the parents and educating adult women as well about their menstrual cycle so that they can be equipped to, and men to educate their kids. So that's part of it. So, once again, the purpose of the menstrual cycle is for reproductive purposes. Your body has a menstrual cycle in order to prepare for pregnancy but, like I said, we are in our menstrual cycle every single day. It affects every aspect of our health and our life.
Speaker 2:Right, If someone is in their studio phase, that can impact their performance in the sport. That can impact their mood, that can impact their ability to the sport. That can impact their mood, that can impact their ability to get their homework done in a timely fashion. There's a lot of different factors that come into play. So it's not, yes, the menstrual cycle, yes, you starting, having a period can put you at risk for pregnancy, but the aspect is an aspect of being a woman. It's important that we understand and embrace the other pieces that come with the menstrual cycle and not just the pregnancy part. So I love when people throw like period parties for their kids celebrate their period, because also there are some people who don't have a period.
Speaker 2:There's some people who have medical problems. There are some people who have other anatomical reasons why they can't have a period. There are some people who have medical problems. There are some people who have other anatomical reasons why they can't have a period. And so celebrating your period, celebrating a normal, natural thing that happens to your body, that gives you the ability to give birth and have a child, is an amazing thing. And once adults do the inner work of learning, then we can teach our children and teach the young people. So really it has to start with education. The parents have to educate themselves, understand that the menstrual cycle is not just this little thing that happens once a month. It's this whole complex process that's going on over and over and over and over until you get to menopause, and then menopause, perimenopause. That's a whole, nother complicated, understudied, underfunded topic. But women are dealing with this from the beginning of time until the end of time.
Speaker 1:No, no, that is true.
Speaker 1:And I want to pivot a bit to talk about sex because, again, the minute someone starts seeing their period, that's the first thing. Most times, that's what our parents or people who are older than us will go to oh, you can get pregnant, don't have sex, and then that's it. And I think, when we talk about empowering our young people in today's society because sometimes we often forget about them, if we're being honest, like you know, they're young, they go into the motion. That's it, keep it moving. We can keep them sheltered until they're 18 years old, and by then it's kind of too late, you know. So how can, how can we approach the topic of sex to our young people? Because, like you mentioned earlier, they are going to do it, they're going to find ways to do it and, especially if you tell them they can't or shouldn't do something, they're going to want to find out for themselves why. So? Why is it important for our young people to know about the physical and even the emotional aspects of sex, and how can this impact their well-being as young people?
Speaker 2:Yes. So, like we talked about a little bit earlier, the important thing is relationships and communication Like that. That is the part that I think parents really have great power to be able to influence and support their kids. Talking to your kid about what are some things that you're looking for in somebody that you're dating, what are some things that are important to you, what are some things that are like a deal breaker for you. Talking with your kids about boundaries, empowering them about how to communicate and some parents are not going to want to hear this, but the way that you communicate with your kids and with your teenager can show up in the way that they date.
Speaker 1:Say that part again. I'm sorry, that was a word.
Speaker 2:They're not. Y'all not going to hear it, but it is true. If you and in Caribbean households we know how it goes, right, don't? You can't ask questions. You can't talk back. Instead, what I said is non-negotiable there's no room for discussion. There's no room for questions, right? I said pick up your pants off the floor. There's nothing else to discuss. So the problem that that creates is that we're teaching young people, we're taking away their agency, we're taking away their ability to ask questions, their ability to create boundaries, and that translates directly into the way that people date. If they have been taught you know what, my opinion doesn't matter, I can't speak up for myself when they start dating somebody, they're going to do the same thing. So it really starts at home with the way that you communicate with your kid, the way that you communicate with your child. Your child is like oh, why can't I go to this party? Because I said so. That's not how you do it.
Speaker 1:We got a gentle parent out here just a little bit.
Speaker 2:And you could be stern but still leave room for discussion. Bobby, you can't go to this party because there are not going to be any parents at this party and I'm worried that something is going to happen and I want you to be safe because I love you. So we have to create these opportunities to communicate with our kids so that we model that behavior and then they can then use that and use those skills to communicate with the people that they're dating. So that's that first piece. Now the other piece is to acknowledge that people are going to feel attracted to people and are going to think about sex.
Speaker 2:So you have a conversation with your kid hey, bobby, is there anybody at school that you like? And then you could like I said, you can go into this conversation of what are some things that you like about her, like, what are things? What is it if you were to date somebody like? What is it that you would want? You know, we can have these open conversations with our kids, hypothetical conversations about what is it that's important to you, what are your values? Right, values come from parenting, they come from your community. These are things that you, as a parent, that's your domain, this is your job. You know what I mean. So having that conversation in general about what are some things that are important to you, not waiting until they got a girlfriend or waiting until they have a boyfriend I don't like Susie, no, no, we need to have these conversations upfront.
Speaker 2:When your kid is 10 and they start to have a crush on somebody, right, you might notice they have a little crush on someone. Then you say it's normal for people, for teenagers your age, to have a crush on somebody. I see that you have a crush on Susie. What is it about Susie that you like? What are you know what are some things that are important to you? You have those conversations up front.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, because you want to create that safe space like we talked about earlier, because if not your immediate family, then who Then?
Speaker 1:That crush is not an issue that we are trying to eliminate as well. But for our teens listening let's say, they're in the car, listening to this podcast with their parents, whatever it is talk to them in a way that they can understand how can they balance peer pressure? Because we know, back in our days we had peer pressure, but we also had a little bit of a better understanding of you know what. Even if my friend is doing that, I may not want to do it, because I know what house I'm going home to. I know what house I'm going home to, you know. But no, you know people, parents are having two and three jobs because you know, we know how the economy is, or they just don't have the time to spend with their child or children, you know. So how can our teens or young people even us at this point balance peer pressure with their personal values when it comes to making a decision about sex or their sexual health? Because that's a big thing that peer pressure is so big a decision about sex or their sexual health.
Speaker 2:So that's a big thing that peer pressure is so big. Yeah, so once again, knowledge is power. So, as a young person, it's important to have the information that you need to make the decisions that are best for you. So that means finding credible places, credible sources, trusted adults that may be your parents, that may be your aunt, that may be a coach, that may be a coach, that may be a church member who you could talk to about certain topics or if you have certain questions about sexual health. So arming yourself with the knowledge is the most important.
Speaker 2:Contrary to a lot of people's belief, everyone is not doing it and in fact, there is a decrease in the number of kids who are having sex or number of teenagers that are having sex. The age at which people are starting to have sex is actually much older. Teens are actually deciding to hold off on having sex. Most teens, most young people by age 21, do have sex, but there's been a shift in when people are doing it. So it's important to understand that. You may think everyone's doing it, but they may not be, and once again, it comes down to values.
Speaker 2:What's important to you? What is it that you want for your future? What is it that you want for yourself? Also, what is your relationship like with this person that you're dating? Do they treat you with love and respect and dignity? Do you feel that this person genuinely cares about you? Do they give you your space? Do they allow you to have other hobbies and things that you enjoy? Right, all these things about a healthy relationship. So it comes down to once again, I feel it is yeah, understanding what's normal for you, understanding what's not normal for you, understanding what your values are, what's important to you, what works for you, what doesn't work for you. And I will tell you this young people.
Speaker 2:As an elder now, I have one group of teens that I work with. They call me Dr Auntie Tasha because they're like you're like the cool aunt. We can talk to you about anything, and I love that. That's sweet. But what I will tell y'all teens who are listening, it's going to be okay. The people who are meant to be in your life will be in your life.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's a word. Talk to me, honey, not even them. Talk to me.
Speaker 2:Listen, don't like that. They are not meant to be in your life. If you are not ready to engage in some type of sexual behavior or encounter with someone, that is your right. We talked about consent. Good touch, bad touch, right. You have the right to say no, I don't want to do this or this is too fast, this is too much. I need to slow down. And if someone doesn't want to be with you or date you because of that, they are not the person for you. And let me say something else there are plenty of fish in the sea. Ok, that little boy or that little girl, because it goes both ways. There are girls who pressure boys to have sex as well. If that person does not respect your boundaries, they are not the person for you. And there are more people. You will find someone who will understand and respect those boundaries. So that person, you keep them moving.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you said that because I think for me, well, a few years ago, if I was having this conversation, I would be like you know, I have to wait till I'm 21, 25 to respect myself or know my boundaries, and it's like no, it starts from a very young age. You know we shouldn't be out here. It's okay when I turn 16 and when I turn 18, that's when I want to practice, you know, boundary setting or the world of consent and these different. It's like no, you can start from a young age because by the time you get to that age now, you're so educated, you have that knowledge now, that nobody, that little boy or girl, can come and tell you anything. I just say I can't come and tell you. It starts with the parenting. It starts with the parenting. That's where it starts.
Speaker 1:To be honest, and even saying that, I want us to shift a bit to mental health, because you know we can't have this conversation when we're talking about mental health, because we know how it is in this day and age, today. But what I'm realizing in the sessions that I've done with these young people, the common theme that I've been hearing is oh, you know, mom, when I'm on my period, I just get so moody, I don't want anybody to talk to me. I'm in my bed, you know the things that they're saying, and then they're saying it to an extent jokingly, but then you're realizing that of course you know our mental health and your reproductive health system, how you are in life. There's like an intersection. So how do mental health and our sexual and reproductive health intersect, especially when it comes to young people?
Speaker 1:Because, again, we often tend to dismiss their feelings, if that makes sense. Oh, you know, you're too young. Why do you have all these issues? You're a young person, you have no bills to pay. Why are you so depressed or sad or all lined up yourself? It's like no, there are other things that happen. So how do mental health and reproductive health intersect, especially when it comes to our young people, so that our parents and our adults can know that you know what. It doesn't just happen to us, it can happen to them as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So back to the topic about the menstrual cycle and the fluctuations in hormones. Once again, during the luteal phase, a lot of people do experience anxiety or depressive symptoms, moodiness, irritability, and once again, this is happening every single month. So definitely the menstrual cycle plays a role in that. The other piece is that most mental health disorders are actually diagnosed or start somewhere in adolescence, right. So when a teenager is suffering and having all of these mental health concerns, to brush it off and say like, oh, you're just being dramatic or you don't have anything to worry about, is not a good idea, because they could be showing early signs of anxiety or depression or some other you know trauma like all these other things. So we cannot dismiss young people's mental health concerns because it could be the start of something that does need like further attention, therapy, sometimes even medication.
Speaker 2:When it comes to the menstrual cycle, there's a specific disorder called PMDD. Oh yes, talk about that, honey. Yes, so it's premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It's a very severe form of PMS, which is premenstrual syndrome. So premenstrual syndrome is those symptoms I talked about before, like moodiness, bloating, etc. Right before your period.
Speaker 2:Pmdd is a severe form of that, in which people have anxiety, depression. Sometimes it's debilitating to the point that they can't even go to school, they can't even go to work, things like that. So once again, it's directly correlated to the menstrual cycle. And then, when it comes to sexual health, people who are anxious or depressed it could go one way or the other right. They could maybe not want to engage in any interactions with other people, so they may have trouble dating or creating relationships, forming friendships, forming healthy relationships with other people. Or sometimes people can use sex as a way to cope with their mental health disorder. And then also, when people have mental health issues, it may make it difficult once again to exercise their boundaries, be in a healthy relationship. They may trauma, bond with someone. Oh, you have depression, I have depression, you know it could be a very sticky situation. So it definitely is directly aligned sexual health and mental health and menstruation.
Speaker 1:You mentioned PMS and PMDD. So for those listening who may not quite understand what the symptoms may look like, you could just be like, oh, she's miserable, she's on her period, because you know people like to do. Oh, she's on her period. Why is she acting that way? And, like I said, we have four phases of the menstrual cycle and I say we have one good week out of a month. Honestly, as a menstruating person, you know where we can actually feel like our best selves, you know. So what are some signs and even symptoms that you know. A teen or young person, or whoever is even listening, that experience or could be struggling with their mental health. So how do we know that is a result of their reproductive health issue, which is what's causing them to have a little bit of a struggle with their mental health?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so depression and anxiety can look different in teenagers and young people than it does in adults. Young people can sometimes be more irritable. They can lose pleasure in doing the things they used to do. So maybe they used to play football and now they don't play anymore. They used to do dance and now they don't want to dance anymore. They used to hang out with their friends and now they don't want to hang out anymore.
Speaker 2:It can look like they're not eating as much or they're eating too much. They're not sleeping or they're sleeping too much. So teenagers it could be kind of tough to just like immediately pick up on it, because teenagers are going to say like I'm depressed. Now teens have some more of the language, so they may. But sometimes, especially with the young teens, they may not even know. And then anxiety can look like worrying. Sometimes people have panic attacks, sometimes people don't want to go to school.
Speaker 2:So there's all these different ways that mental health symptoms can show up. Now, if these symptoms are correlated with the phases of the menstrual cycle, that would be an indication that somebody may have PMDD or premenstrual dysphoric disorder. So, for instance, someone is fine the first two weeks of the month and then the week before their period comes. They're depressed, they're anxious, they don't want to get up, they don't want to do anything, and then they have their period and then they're better. That would be an indication that it's related to their menstrual cycle, and people who have anxiety and depression that's not related to their menstrual cycle, they're going to have these symptoms for an extended period of time. It's not going to get better and get worse and get better and get worse. It's just going to be consistent. So normally for like two weeks, two weeks and then two months, that's when we start to like say, okay, this is like a consistent issue.
Speaker 1:All right. How can our young people or teens advocate for themselves in health settings, especially when it comes to sexual health? And I ask this question because, again, just learning from these sessions that I've been doing with these young people, some are afraid to talk, because one person even asked me when I said about finding a trusting person or being an advocate for yourself, and they asked me.
Speaker 1:Well, ma'am, what if a doctor touches me inappropriately or doesn't make me feel like I'm being seen? I was like, oh, I was not prepared. I was not prepared for that answer, for that question, but it's a valid question. How can we prepare them? Because, again, we're trained to respect our elders or look up to our healthcare providers, who should be a safe space for us. So how can a young person or a teen advocate for themselves in a health setting, especially when it comes to discussing their sexual and reproductive health, because it's a very sensitive topic. But, again, also, they have to learn how to advocate for themselves. How can they do that?
Speaker 1:Yes, Once again knowledge is power, knowledge is power.
Speaker 2:So if you understand what's normal for you, what's not normal for you, what's normal and what is supposed to happen during a menstrual cycle or supposed to happen with your anatomy, what your anatomy normally looks like and now you notice a bump or a lump or whatever, that is key Knowing and understanding your body and having the information and the words to be able to communicate that with another person. The other thing is knowing your rights. Now, depending in the United States, depending on what state you live in, there are different rights, different legal structures in place to protect teenagers and to protect their confidentiality and their rights. But it varies by states and it varies by country. So, depending on where you're at in the Caribbean, there may be certain laws and rules and protections and not protections. So it's important for you to know that. So, for instance, in New York, it is all sexual and reproductive health is confidential. So if a medical provider were to tell your information to your parent without your consent, they are actually violating and breaking the law. So knowing that is important because it gives you the ammunition, as a young person, to say this information is not. I do not want my parent to know this information. And if they do tell your parent, then you have a case and you could actually sue that doctor. That's that piece. The other piece is unfortunately, and this is really terrible but there are some health care providers who do take advantage of people and who do violate people's rights. They do things to patients and to people that are not right, inappropriately, touch them or say inappropriate things. Touch them or say inappropriate things. It's not uncommon, it does happen. But once again, knowing your rights, if something like that happens, having a person that you could talk to about it, hopefully you can talk to your parent and say mom, that doctor touched me in a way that felt uncomfortable. Also, you can advocate for yourself in the visit. If you're uncomfortable and the healthcare provider is going to do a sensitive exam on you, you can always ask I would like a chaperone, I would like another person in the room, or do you have a female provider that could do this exam? You have a right to ask for those things.
Speaker 2:Another thing is we have so much technology these days there's certain things that just don't need to be done anymore. A pelvic exam A teenager does not need a pelvic exam unless they are having pelvic pain or symptoms. That would be worrisome, but a routine pelvic exam not necessary. A breast exam no longer a part of the guidelines? Oh really yes, unless you have a lump or a bump that you want the provider to feel. There is no evidence to support a healthcare provider doing a breast exam. You can do your own exam and make sure that you don't feel anything every month, because your breast tissue can change with your menstrual cycle, but your healthcare provider during a routine visit does not need to feel or examine your breasts. Understanding and knowing these things helps for you to be able to advocate for yourself.
Speaker 2:The other thing I want to shout out is doing a self swab. So sometimes when people have a yeast infection or they may even have vaginal discharge, they're worried that they might have an STI, a sexually transmitted infection. You can actually take the swab in the bathroom and swab yourself and hand the tube to the healthcare provider. And if you're ready to test, they don't need to do a full exam and put the speculum and the light and all this stuff. You can go in the bathroom and swab yourself. We have enough technology now that we can run that test and figure out if you actually what the cause of your vaginal discharge.
Speaker 2:So it's important for you to know these options so that way when you go and this is some of the work that I do on TikTok and Instagram I know we talked poorly about social media, but I'm on social media so I can combat all this combat all this, but these are some of the things I talk about of, like, these are your rights and these are the things that you can ask for, and these are the things that you can do to get the best healthcare and to get what you deserve. So those are just a few tips.
Speaker 1:I love that answer. I don't want this episode to come to an end, but we are pretty much almost at the end. But I have some questions for you that I want you to answer. Okay, we're going to cause like a little rapid fire T-side question. I'll probably answer them too. But what's the best advice you would give your teenage self?
Speaker 2:Wow, do not betray yourself Ooh.
Speaker 1:How can I up this one? No, I don't even think I can. I think I would say betray yourself. Ooh, how can I up this one? No, I don't even think I can. I think I would say trust yourself, cause let me tell you, if I trusted myself back in the day, I probably would have turned out to be a better person. I have a good person. But you know, I guess sometimes some of these lessons that we have, that we you know, they're lessons essentially, what my best advice would be? To trust myself, because even sometimes, to this day, I still struggle with trusting myself, because when I don't trust myself or my gut, some crap always happens, you know. So I'm learning more and more about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm learning more and more to not betray myself, because I'm so used to, as a woman from the Caribbean, grown up in a Caribbean household, putting everybody else's needs in front of my own.
Speaker 2:Listen household, putting everybody else's needs in front of my own, and there's times where people may want something from me and it may not work for me, because I need rest or it's inconvenient or whatever, and instead of me honoring my needs, I will go out of my way to help somebody else, but I won't go out of the way for myself. So now I go out of the way for myself. Well, now I'm out of the way for myself.
Speaker 1:I'm still learning that part. It's funny you said that because I would go above and beyond for everyone. The glass could be empty. You can't even drip anything from that glass and I'm going above and beyond. But now I'm learning to honor myself as well. Sometimes it's hard, I'll be honest. It's not always easy, but I like to say I'm a recovering people pleaser. It's tough, but one day at a time. So, even though this episode was about talking to our teens, like my young people, we also go through this as adults as well. It happens, but again, we live and we learn. As it relates to how life is Now next one now, if you could change one myth about health that everyone believes, what would it be?
Speaker 2:I would say that you are the expert on your own health.
Speaker 1:Say that part again for me.
Speaker 2:You're the expert on your own health. I think a lot of times people think that it's somebody else's responsibility and job to know what's best for them and once again, you have to trust yourself and you know your body. You live in it every single day. You know when something is not right, you know when something is off, you know when you're feeling sad down. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:That's what I would say. You're the expert on your health. I'm glad you said that, because I often tell people that I mean again we have all this power and belief in our healthcare providers as we should but again they can only go based on what we're telling them as well, you know. So I like that you said that what is one myth about menstruation or sexual health you wish would disappear forever?
Speaker 2:That menstruation is dirty.
Speaker 1:Oof. Yes, I don't even have a comeback for that one. That is true. I still can't believe in 2024. We're still thinking that. You know, it's a natural way of life and for some reason I don't know, we're still thinking that of life and for some reason, I don't know.
Speaker 1:We're still thinking that, Still taboo, Still taboo. But that's why we're doing the work you and I here continue to do the work to remove the stigma and break that barrier. So I got two more. What's one book, movie or podcast that every teen should check out?
Speaker 2:That's a good question. If I had a book and a podcast, I would say mine, but I don't have one yet One day, five years? That's a good question. I don't. I can't really think of. There's um. There's a few books about puberty and stuff like that and changes Um.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what think about it and then we'll put it in the show notes so that they can have an idea where they can go and find it. We'll find it.
Speaker 2:We got you I have a lot of websites and I know some social media accounts, but books kids don't read books like they used to.
Speaker 1:It's one of my dreams to write a children's book too, as it relates to period, something to do with public health, because we don't often see that as well. So maybe, as I said, in the next five years we'll come together and, like you know, have a New York Times bestseller. The name of the book is Celebrate.
Speaker 2:Your Body. Ooh, celebrate your Body. That book I've looked at and I liked it. And there's another book called Uology and there's another book called Uology. Yeah, so they used to have a book called Girlology and they changed it to Uology.
Speaker 1:I think I feel like I've seen that, honestly, recently. To be honest, I might have seen that recently somewhere when I was doing my Googles. All right, last question before I let you go If you had a superpower to help teens, what would it be? I feel like you already have it already, but what would it be? Oh, to just spread knowledge.
Speaker 2:I wish I could just like Open their brains and just put it in. I wish I could just like have telekinesis and just like go inside teenagers' brains and just power them and fill them with like knowledge and like love. You know, like I just want teens and young people to be like the best version of themselves that they can be. I love working with teenagers because you can literally see just from some a little bit of like love and a little bit of like support. It could just like change the world. So I would say I wish that I could just spread this like love and joy and knowledge that I have to all the kids everywhere.
Speaker 1:No, I love that. I love that. But before we go, first of all, thank you so much again. Like I told you in the beginning, you were a dream guest. I was slightly nervous in the beginning, I don't know why, because I already I already know how the energy was going to be anyway. But I am happy that you took the time out of your busy schedule because we know you are for being here in the tea tasting room, as we call it. But before you go, tell them where they can find you. Don't hold anything back. Let them know how they can support you and the work that you do in the community.
Speaker 2:Yes, so my personal Instagram is gorgeousdoc, so it's G-O-R-J-U-S-D-O-C, and that social media account is where you're going to see me going to the gym and honoring myself, like we talked about not betraying yourself and going out for brunch and living my life. Yeah, she should. My Instagram account where I do my do sexual health education, is gorgeous G-O-R-J-U-S underscore sex ed, s-e-x-e-d, and that's where all my information and sexual health content is all housed. And then my website is wwwgorgeousdoc G-O-R-J-U-S-D-O-Ccom. Right now it's under construction because we're trying to revamp the website to have all of the resources and the images and the presentations and the handouts more easily, easily accessible. So please join the subscriber list so that way, when I drop the website, you'll be the first to know. And I'm on TikTok as well, also, gorgeous, underscore sex ed.
Speaker 2:And I would take anything that you guys are willing to give. I do the work that I do because I love it, because I care for children and for the young people and I care for parents who are parenting these young people, and I do it all by myself. I have like a very minimal staff, like I have like maybe a couple interns working with me, but I'm sitting in here day in and day out, so one night show Right, drawing these images, making these resources, doing these presentations, and so any connections that people have, I would surely appreciate. If you work in a school, you want me to come and speak at your school. If you work for a youth group and you want me to come and speak at your youth group, any opportunities I would totally appreciate that.
Speaker 1:And then also you can Venmo me Listen we're going to put everything in the show notes, okay, because I tell people the work that we do is a thankless job and we're not necessarily looking for a thank you. It does feel good, don't get me wrong, but it comes straight from the heart, so of course it doesn't hurt to get blessed from working from your heart.
Speaker 2:I believe my Venmo is also gorgeous sex ed or gorgeous underscore sex ed.
Speaker 1:Yes, we'll put it in the show notes so we can support Dr Natasha Ramsey.
Speaker 2:I know that I'm a doctor, but this, this takes a lot of work.
Speaker 1:It probably takes more work than when you got to go do something for a patient. You know what I mean. That's just. That's just keeping it real, but thank you so much for joining me here in the Tea Tasting Room. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.