74. Military Brats to Coaches: Lessons in Change, Resilience, and Leadership

In this episode, Sara sits down with a very special guest — her sister, Dr. Kate Nagel — for a conversation that’s equal parts reflective, funny, and honest. Together, they talk about what it was really like growing up in a military family, constantly moving, starting over, and learning how to adapt at a young age.

The sisters dive into how those experiences shaped the women they are today, from their careers and relationships to the way they lead, coach, and navigate challenges. They also reflect on sibling dynamics, the influence of their parents, resilience, rejection, and the unexpected lessons that came from growing up in an environment where change was constant.

Even though Sara and Kate took very different career paths, they realized many of the same themes followed them into adulthood: adaptability, perseverance, communication, and learning how to connect with people from all walks of life.

This episode is a candid conversation about family, growth, leadership, and the moments in life that shape us more than we realize at the time.

Learn more about Kate here.

Let’s keep the conversation going—connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or reach out at hello@leadintoit.co. 

Excited to be with you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You're listening to episode 74 of the Lead Into a Podcast. Welcome back to Lead Into It. I'm your host, Sarah Greco, and today's episode is a little different than my usual leadership conversation. In fact, it's more of a yappy type of conversation because I brought on a very special guest, my sister, Kate Nagel. She is a fitness coach for working moms. And on this episode, we're chatting about how growing up as military brats shaped us into who we are today. We constantly moved around and had to start over and learned how to adapt and make friends quickly and handle change at such a young age. So we're diving into those experiences that influenced both of us way more than we probably realized at the time. And what's funny is that even though we are very different people, we both ended up becoming coaches in our own ways. And I think that's kind of ironic how our paths led us to similar work just through different approaches and experiences. So we're sharing some funny stories, some honest reflections, and the unexpected leadership lessons that came out of growing up as a military family. Enjoy. So today we are doing a very different episode. I have my sister on. So welcome, Kate Nagel. Hello. This is something that we kind of came up with and thought it would be an interesting way to show kind of the different perspectives of how we grew up and when it relates to leadership and kind of how we built our careers, because we're both coaches technically right now. And so kind of built what we have right now, how we grew up to give you some inside scoop because it's very interesting. We actually just started talking about a story, and I was like, maybe we should have recorded that. So first, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do, and then we'll kind of go back and forth on some things. Well, my name is Dr.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Kate Nagel.

SPEAKER_04 1:44

I am Doctor Kate.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

I know, right? Nobody calls me that. You can just call me Kate. I'm a physical therapist by trade, but I also own a personal training, health coaching, and nutrition business that I gear towards working moms because I am a working mom and I feel like we are underrepresented in the health and fitness industry. So I really want to help that group of people get healthy and stay healthy for their kids. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

So was it Emerson or Beckett who inspired you to do this? Because well, go ahead and tell your children inspired.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Which one was the favorite? Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

No. I started the business after I had, wait, I have to do math here. Yeah. It was after I had Beckett. And how old are they now? Emerson is six, and Beckett is just turned three. So it's wild. So I've been I've been in the business for I've been a physical therapist for nine, it'll be nine years in August, and I've had my own business for about three. So it's congratulations on that. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

I can't believe that. Beckett's already three.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

That's kind of but yeah, he I think it really I really wanted to get into it after Beckett was born because I noticed the transition from one to two kids. The the time that I had to get to myself shrunk dramatically. So I know that a lot of my friends who are moms and coworkers and things, they were having the same issues. So I wanted to kind of share what what I had learned from it and help help others do the same. So awesome.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Well, thanks for sharing all that. It's cool because you've gone on quite a journey to get to this point. Like you started at Grove City College in a marketing degree.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Right. Which kind of helps me now. But the marketing of 2007 is different than the marketing of 2026. So considering Facebook barely existed at that time. YouTube wasn't even around yet.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

Yeah. So what kind of inspired you to get involved in health before you had kids? Because you went through physical therapy school at UNC, which is one of the top 10 schools in the country for physical therapy, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:54

It was, yeah, it it was. I don't know what it's, it's at least in the top 20 still. And so there was a point where you switched from marketing to physical therapy. What kind of prompted that for you? When I first graduated from college, I still didn't really know what I wanted to do. And dad actually was the one that suggested the government. So I was like, okay, cool, I'll try it. And so I ended up in a desk job for seven years. And if you know me, I I'm not meant to be at a desk. I need to get up. As you're sitting at one right now. What? I know. I'm like my desk, I can stand. So you might just see me like stand up halfway. Start rising from the ground. Yeah. I was somewhat successful in that career, but it really was not my passion. And I was always interested in health and wellness. And I was actually interested in physical therapy back in high school. But during that time, there was an influx of physical therapists. So I was told that I wouldn't get a job. So try something else. So that's why I went into business. But it's always been on my mind. So once I got the government job and realized that that was just not for me, I went back to school. I would work a full day, go to school from seven to 10. And then on Fridays, I would work at a PT clinic to get my hours, which you had to get for physical therapy school. So yeah. And I would work out at lunchtime because our office had a gym. So that was the only time I could work out.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

So you had to figure out how to like take care of yourself in that. And then when you're a mom, you had to apply the same skills for all of that.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Crazy. Yeah, but it was so di I you don't realize how much time you wasted before kids. I I I thought I had no time. And then I had kids. I'm like, man, I had so much time. What is going on here? How many hours would you say your kids take up of your day, of your waking hours? Waking hours? Well, that's not fair because they take up some of my sleeping hours. That's true. Waking hours. Well, so I don't have both of my kids are at school right now, obviously. Otherwise, you would hear one of them calling for me. But waking hours. Or playing the drums or guitars. No, playing the drums or the guitar or the piano or playing ninjago on the TV, whatever. Waking hours, golly. I'm gonna give a percentage. I would say like 80% of the time that I'm awake. And then probably about 30% of the time I'm asleep. Yeah. If they don't like you in the middle of the night. Yeah. Yeah. 20% of the time is is mine. Nice. Which isn't really mine because you're more have a husband. I'm married, I have a husband, and we don't spend nearly enough time with each other, and we're working on that. And then I have a house to clean and a business to run. And then I also work part-time at the hospital. So so I stay busy, which which I prefer. I'm much more efficient when I'm busy than if I have if I know I have time, I'm more likely to procrastinate. Funny because I'm the exact same way.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

When I'm busier, I'm actually more productive. If I have more time, I'll like forget it. Like I have tomorrow. It's like that's when I'm going to take a nap. It's very interesting because like we grew up as military brats. So we moved around a lot until we were like preteenish. Like we stayed in the same spot. And I feel like when we grew up as military brats, even though we were kind of in the same situations, we grew up totally differently. Like we're very much opposites. We really are.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

It's wild. But that's also what I noticed with my kids too, the difference between the first child and the second child. And I think growing up with you helps me realize, like having a younger sibling, it makes me realize that it's okay that our kids are different. Yeah. But I need to include both of them in different ways. So and I've come to you in the past, I'm like, so for Beckett, like, how do I make sure that he feels included? Because often the second child gets literally left behind. I tell mom and dad this story all the time of how I got left in the car.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Wait, when did you get left in the car? Exactly. So we were in Maryland, and I remember I was in the car seat that had the white and blue, and it was like the thing that went around the strap. Probably not it's not safe anymore. It's fun. So, like you all three went into the house, and I'm just sitting there, like, I was like, I guess I have to figure out how to unbuckle this. And I'm just sitting there, like, I don't know what to do. I was probably three, and mom and dad both don't remember this. I don't remember it either. I will. Poor Beckett. Oh, there's constantly this battle between the first and the second kid. It's fine. We always fine. We both turned out great. Yeah. I think the one interesting thing though was because we both had each other growing up and all the different things, like, yes, we would fight with each other. I don't have to stop fighting.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

No. Okay. Well, we became adults, we stopped, but we have a clear three-day rule where on that third day we need to there must be a fight. There must be a fight, or we need to just not see each other that day.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

And then a resets.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

And then it resets, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

We would fight with each other, but if anyone fought with us, we would be thrown. Yeah. Gloves would be on siblings. Like I might have called my sister gross, but you can't call her gross. No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

Same.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

As military brats, I think we tried as much as we could because we just had to figure out how to make new friends. Um, do you kind of think it was the same way?

SPEAKER_04 9:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

And I mean, in a way, it was kind of comforting when we would move around a lot because if there was a school situation where we weren't comfortable or there was bullying involved, we'd be like, oh, we're just leaving in two years. So it's we can we can do this for two years and then we'll we'll leave. And then when dad retired and we didn't have that, that's that's when things got really rough.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Yeah, I know we didn't have that escape plan. I think it's so interesting because and do you feel an itch every like two to three years where you're just like, I need to go do something that's a little bit different? And it's you have to add some sort of change into it. And so while military brats are adaptable, sometimes we look for those moments of like, well, I guess it's about time. Like, first off, I have so much crap in my house, I need to clean it out. And then two, I didn't like move around the country or to a different country. So I guess I need to add a change. So let me add a business. Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

You've already like, what other certification can I get? And they're just like, You you need to stop. You do not have time for another certain that and that's all dad, too.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Cause you know, dad is. I was just talking to him about a credit my coaching credentialing last night. Yeah. And he was like, Well, let me tell you. I was like, I know, because you have like 10. Like you have the entire alphabet after your name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Literally, I don't think I don't think there's a letter unturned in his name.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

It is just the alphabet. We'll list up the alphabet that is his whole certification repertoire. And so we could probably go off on tangents for forever. But you know, let's create some sort of organization. Sure. Organization sounds great. What's one thing about growing up in the military that people probably wouldn't understand unless they lived it?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

I think that it was the the moving every two. Well, we never really knew where we were going, but we the moving every two to three years. Because I have friends that have lived in North Carolina their entire lives. And they I have they have no idea. And I'm like, but didn't you get but how like that that is so it's so different for me. I wouldn't say weird, I would just say it's different. Yeah. And I think like the idea of having to make friends too was I feel like it did get harder as we got older. But when we lived on base at Fort Meade, I think that was my favorite place to live because all the kids were military brats. They didn't know any different. Like we had kids coming and going all the time. Not our doors all the time. And in school, they would be like leaving, they would be moving, and we would always create. I don't know if you did this in your class, but we would always create a book of like just saying like bye, and like everybody in the class would sign it. Um and nobody, and I think in when we moved to Wilkes Bear, somebody left, and I was like, Oh, are we gonna make them a book? And they're like, What?

SPEAKER_02 12:11

So when we were in Wilkes Bear, dad was at a university, so he wasn't in, we weren't in a military community then. So that was very different. It was very small town, everyone had lived there their entire lives. And so it was Fort Mead was, I mean, even looking at it now, it is literally one of the busiest military bases. And so when we were there, it was still the same. And then going from that to I know.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

And that's when we also transitioned from public school to private school too. So that was a whole other that was a whole other transition. St. Headways. What? Oh yeah, St. Headways. I loved that school. Yeah. I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

We we thrived in that small town. I was gonna say we definitely made friends and still I still make friends really quickly. And if somebody is a military brat, like even though I'm in the military, the military brat people, I'm like, we're good. It's you, yeah. Best friend immediately. I was like, Yeah, you know that we're best friends now. When did you realize that not everyone grew up the way that we did?

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Hmm. Probably at St. Hedwig's because that's what I was just thinking. I was the only new person that came in, and everybody else had gone to school together since probably kindergarten. So it was like I was already an outsider.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Yeah. Looking in. I I think I was the same now looking back at it. I didn't care though. I was like this fear, I was so fearless. Like I was just ready to go and be, and then I we moved down to when dad retired, we moved down to Maryland and yeah, well, obviously, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

I still think you have some of that fearlessness because when we when I mean the fact that you decided to go into the military after after both of us, I mean, dad always when dad asked us if we would go into the military.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00 14:03

And I said, absolutely not me.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Well, I don't know. So I remember it as we were in the backseat of the car. Like, so you remember this. Like I I keep going. I might it might drive me. So dad was driving and he always tries to have these serious conversations at random points, yes, which we've just gotten used to and have adapted at this point. And he goes, So I wanted to ask you both, like, would you ever consider joining the Air Force? And I remember us both looking at each other again going, no. And he goes, Okay. And so when I decided to join the military, I think everyone was like, What?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Right. I know. Well, you, I mean, I'm still to this day, I'm super tomboyish into sports, like all that kind of stuff. You're super girly. Pink is your favorite color. Like that, we were just like when you were like, you're going into the military. I I was on my landline at Grove City when mom told me. And I was like, What?

SPEAKER_02 15:06

So I mean, I think my fearlessness is slightly naivety. It's like take it, yeah don't ever lose it. It has dissipated. And so I just need to be like going into it.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Cause I'm just like, I think it's gonna work, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Yeah, yeah. So I just I think that's what the military be growing up in the military taught me was just like kind of going with it. And uh, we were always put in situations, not like in awkward situations of where we had to figure out things really quickly, but we also made it our own. And I think that was always fun. So were we where were we? Where was it where we used the red phone because we were playing babysitters club? Oh my gosh. Was that a Wilkes?

SPEAKER_00 15:49

That was at Wilkes, yeah. That was at Wilkes University. Dad had like an RTC thing, and yeah, it was like a cookie out or something. And I can't remember the other girls' names.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

It was all of the kids who were like part of this detachment, and we became friends immediately. So Wilkes Fair was a small town, but when we got together with these kids, it was all military brats, and so we just all bonded. And we decided that was the year babysitter's club came out, and so we decided to play babysitters club, and we figured the red phone was a perfect opportunity for us to do that. And that's an emergency phone. It's one that is why it's oopsies.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

We don't remember that it was an emergency phone. I just remember going babysitters club. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah. No, that was an emergency phone because then somebody came in and was like, hey guys, are you picking up the red phone? And we're like, Yeah. They're like, you can't do that. I don't remember that. So we like again, fearlessness, just kind of going with it and making up games as we go. We asked for forgiveness a lot. I think you had to, because otherwise we didn't have any fun. Right. I would say we didn't get in like crazy trouble, but apparently we picked up the emergency phone that we weren't supposed to.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

More than more than once.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

And then the other story that always comes to mind, which is probably my favorite, is dad introducing us to the people at the RETC detachment. I guess Wilkesbare is where we started to remember all the things for the military because he introduced us to a chief master sergeant, and we decided that he was therefore named Colonel Cheese for forever. Colonel Cheese. Colonel Cheese. So now in the military, understanding like a chief master sergeant versus a colonel, like that chief must have been like, cool, I'm promoted. Yeah. I he was Colonel Cheese, and dad was like exactly what we called him for forever. So it's funny because you said you were surprised when I joined the military, which I think everyone was. Like it it I'm the I am still one of the messiest people ever. So me going to boot camp was really tough because I got in trouble. Did I ever tell you I got in trouble for putting a sock in a random drawer that wasn't supposed to be in?

SPEAKER_01 18:01

But why would you why? Why don't you just end it in the drawer? I had no drawer.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

You had to put it into a drawer. So put it into the drawer that it's supposed to go in.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

So there was a big thing on integrity. And so the random cadet training assistant had to ask, was like, who left this sock? And I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to have integrity. It was a speech. So I was like, that's my sock. Anyways, so just a story to say I'm still the messiest person and somehow I'm in the military. So if you're looking to join the military, you can. You was gonna say you can't, but I don't think I was ever surprised when you decided to go into physical therapy or health. Did you think I would be surprised?

SPEAKER_00 18:43

I think I think dad was more surprised that I would move out of the government.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

Well, it was really good stability. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Like you were doing really well.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

I was. I mean, for 27 I was doing really well, but I just didn't it was not my passion. And I knew I would be really upset with myself if I did not at least pursue and try to get into PT school, which was really hard to get it was hard to get into, but I think I applied to too many because I was worried that I wouldn't get into any of them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Well, and you had to how many years were you taking classes before you decided to go to physical therapy? Because it marketing in business doesn't really transfer.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

I had nothing. I took a psychology class my freshman year, but it was too far past the time that they wouldn't even accept the credit. So I had to take I even had to take that class again. So I was in I was taking night classes and online classes for two and a half years, I think, before yeah. And then which it and then I would during the Christmas term and the summer term, I would try to take at least two, two to three classes during them too, because they were shorter. But yeah, that was wild. I don't I look back on that. I'm like, I probably took years off my life because I just wouldn't sleep.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

You prepared yourself for two kids.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Yeah, that too. That too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Nothing can prepare yourself for two kids. What's funny is you hold on. Did you go to the same school as mom and dad technically? Because you went to Grub City. Yeah. Which is dad's legacy. And then C C B C Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You went to the same schools as both mom and dad.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

I did look at me.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

So much legacy. What did you so like going back into seeing me in the military, what did you think I was gonna do when I was grew up? Before like if you didn't know, like you saw me great.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I don't know. I mean, you were really big in you were really big into the PR stuff anyways. So I could see you like going being a news anchor or something like that where you could wear cute clothes and do your hair and and all but I'm really right now.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yeah, yep. So there you go. And then I guess I at one point was like growing up, I was like, you could go into sports in some way, shape, or form. Did you ever do sports marketing?

SPEAKER_00 20:57

I looked into it. I mean, I looked into a whole bunch of different stuff with marketing, but the jobs were just not there. And they were really the ones that were were super competitive. So I mean, I would apply. I I would, you know, shoot for the stars and apply to like Nike or whatever. And uh I never heard back from them.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

What ways would you say that we are different? I figured this one's fun. I'm cleaner than you. Hold on. I would just like to state I can clean. You can't messy.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yeah, I was gonna say your house is like physically clean, but it's just not picked up. Exactly. Whereas my house is picked up, but there's like dust bunnies.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

I mean, now I have dust bunnies because I have Lila.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Yeah. You have fur bunnies. Yeah. I would say that you're more open to try new things than I am. And when we were both at the same high school, you I remember I was always like, I think I'm gonna do the you did the live stations of the cross that we would do every year. And every year I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm gonna do it. And then I'd never sign up, but like. You were always the one to be like, I'm going to do this and I'm going to sign up for it. Whereas I would say, I'm going to do this and then just not do it. I didn't realize I wanted to do it. Is that the way I wanted to do it?

SPEAKER_02 22:10

No. Following footsteps for a while. I know. And then it just didn't. The universe and God said no. No. Yeah. And that's a and that it worked out just fine.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

It did somehow when I cut from the soccer team the first year. They had cuts.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

No, they didn't. They had they had cuts. They had cuts prior years too.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Really?

SPEAKER_00 22:32

Yeah. Yeah. I was one of the four. Do you know they they told me before they told me? Yeah, they told me before they told you we're like, we just want to let you know. Yeah. Like, Sarah's a great girl. She just, I don't think she would do well on the team. So and I was like, And they weren't wrong. Yeah. They're like, she's just what did they say? And it and I mean, I think it was probably just an excuse, but they were like, she's so small. We're afraid that she would get hurt.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

And I'm like, honestly, it's probably like when I was so, I mean, this is probably a good point of bringing up how we're different. When we were in Wilkesburg, it just keeps coming up. Uh, the softball league, like you actually tried.

unknown 23:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

I know. I felt so bad for you. I was like, I'm here for the food.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

And uh, like I would they would put me in the outfield and I'd be like, Yeah. And mom and dad would just laugh at me. Oh, I don't know if they laughed at you or not. I wasn't Oh no, they did. They would they bring it up all the time. Well, not all the time. They bring it up every once and they're like, and then we'd see you, just like picking flowers out in the outfield. I was like, Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, it sounds about right. Yeah. I'm like, I'd like just sit. I'm like, oh, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

It's rough, it's rough being in the outfield doing nothing.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

I was so tired. I was standing all the time for third grade. Yeah, they never the balls never came out to the outfield.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

No. And when they did, the one coach's daughter, I just remember trying to get a ball and her like running past me to get it. And I was like, oh, this is how we're gonna play.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

I remember that. Oh yeah, she was like this is how we're gonna play. And then you're like, I'm gonna take her down. I think so. Something that I think we're both alike is I think we're competitive, but in a different way. Yes. Like, I don't know what type of competitiveness. Like, I give I don't give up, but I'm just like, I decide this isn't important to me anymore. Right. Meanwhile, I'm like, I will lose a limb to win. I will take this person down. But I do remember when we both played basketball. I was on JV and you were on varsity, and I remember there was a call that somebody made against me, and I was like, that's not true. And I threw the ball down, and everyone's like, Sarah. I was like, I'm sorry. Like, I just I didn't know I had that in me.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

And we're back.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah, I never really got got like that until my senior year. I think I got a little cocky, but I was like, okay, fine, the ref. Like you ever yell at a ref? I never yelled at a ref, but I would like slam the ball down. But they the same refs had refed me my entire four years of high school. So they knew they knew me and they were like, she's not normally like this. So we're not gonna like give her a technical we're not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

What other ways do you think that were alike?

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I think that we both, when we do see something that we want, we do go for it. And not in a competitive way, just in a this is what we want, so we're gonna, so we're gonna do that. And I think both mommy and dad kind of instilled that in us because dad, for our entire life, he's always working towards something. And when and when he said he's not gonna get another certification, and then he gets another certification, or he gets a graduate degree, another graduate degree, or he decides to teach or get his pilot's license. And then mom, I didn't realize this until after we both graduated from college, but she made it a goal to pay for our schooling by her working full-time. I don't know if you knew that, but yeah. So she was like, our my goal, she said her goal was to put all of her paycheck towards our tuition. Yeah, I I mean, she she set that goal, and I mean, we didn't, I mean, you got scholarships through our TC, which was super helpful. And then Grove City was really affordable, and I got a few scholarships. But I mean, both both of our parents always had goals in mind, and they always instilled in us to always have a goal or something to work towards. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

I mean, dad basically was like, if you don't have a job after college, pretty much yeah, you're we're kicking you out. Yeah. Yeah. Or no, it was if you didn't get into school or didn't have a job, you are out of the house and at 18. And mom was kind of upset. Cause you, for you, didn't you have like a a gap, like just a slight gap?

SPEAKER_00 26:58

And dad was like, get out. In between, yeah. And it wasn't like I wasn't trying to get a job. I interviewed at so many different places. Right. And so I was at home for the summer and I was lifeguarding again just to make some money. Yeah. And then dad was like, you have until August to get a job. And then I think it was July when I got a call saying, like, you get a job, and it's in Chicago. And I was like, Cool, I've never been there. Let's go. And that was really cool that you got to live in Chicago for a couple years. I don't think I appreciated it when I was there. I really struggled. It's funny, we made friends so easily growing up, but I think it was the fact that we had kids around us so much. And the job that I had, it was a lot of older people. And I mean my friend Sarah, who we I still talk to, she's still there. But I try to go to different places and try to put myself out there and make friends. But it was again, people had their people already. And it was it was really hard to work your way in.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

I've noticed that just because being in the military and moving so much, I think it takes at least a year. So it takes six months to feel like you're you actually live somewhere. And then I think it takes it takes a year to get fully settled, is what I've learned. So it's hard because for that first year you're like just wandering about trying to figure out where you fit in.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Right. And it was, I mean, and it was funny when we moved back to North Carolina, well, back when we moved to North Carolina for PT school, it was, I mean, all of my classmates instantly became my core group. And then when I got a job, then all of my coworkers were around my same age. So I was able to make more friends with them. And then we got plugged in with a church, which I feel like is also super important. And so it was it, it became easier again. But it's having the right people around you, I think, is really important.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Yeah, I completely agree. Because I think that's like, and we noticed that in each location we lived in and every school that we went to, when we had the right people around us, it made such a world of difference.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Yeah. And I think we both struggled with not having the right people around us too. So it was a lesson.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

It was a lesson. But because I think we're so adaptable, we figured out how to move out of those situations much quicker than other people would have, even at a young age. So we talked a little bit about mom, but I feel like there's still a little bit more we could go into because the question that I had was how did watching mom influence how we work and live our life today? And we brought up how she had goals in place and strive to get them. And even when she decided to go into nursing, she had to figure out a way to pay for her schooling and completely work her way through college, which is incredible. And then once she met dad, she had to completely adapt her life to military and then somehow carry us. I just I don't know how she did it, where she had to carry us from Italy, basically, to back to the States by herself. So our mom's pretty cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

I always ask her, um, like, how did you do it? And she goes, I have no idea. You just, you just did. But I I feel like she is a great military spouse because dad would be like, such and such is coming over for dinner, and she would have the house clean and dinner on the table. And then dad would be like, We're gonna invite a whole group of people over on Friday night, and mom would have everything we would be in the way mostly, but like she would make sure that we were dressed nicely what to do, like it.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

You've ever seen the video of we're turning this house into a Mediterranean restaurant.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

That was her mom before these events. We must have so nobody that's here. Yeah, if you haven't made your pet, throw it out. There's no time.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Yes, I showed that to her, but I mean she would stress out, but the house wasn't I've never remembered the house being messy. No, ever. I mean she always had it clean. If I mean her messy was like our spotless, so yeah. And I wish that I would have paid more attention because she cleans stuff so well. Yeah. And I feel like I'm doing the same thing that she did, and my stuff will never be as clean as her stuff.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

I don't understand how she gets laundry done the way that she does, still to this day. Like I my laundry still does not get as clean. Yeah. I don't I don't know how she does it. But yeah, I feel like she had to figure out a lot of different things, kind of on her own. She didn't want to have that community when her and dad first got married. She kind of had to build it. So she just figured things out. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

And she said, I remember her saying when they first moved to Germany, it was pretty lonely because they didn't know anyone yet. And I think by the next year they were fine. But and also I think the people there were like, oh, we had no idea that you guys were alone. And normally in the military, when a new person comes in, everybody like flocks to that person and like makes sure that they have food and like say hi and like exchange numbers and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

So and one thing that we didn't bring up about our mom is that she was the person who grew up in the same spot and lived in the same town for her entire life. Like she left, she went skiing and traveled and around the country, but she had never left the country until they moved to Germany.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

And so she had to that was a whole new life thing for them. And as you were saying before about mom having to figure out how to pay for school, she lived at home until she was until she married dad. She moved she said she moved out for a little bit and then moved back in so that she could save up for furniture. I don't know if she ever told me. Oh, I didn't know that. And so grandma were best friends too. So yeah. I'm assuming she had she had her like close-knit group of people, but yes, she lived in the same house her entire I mean, until she was almost 30. So that and so when we both moved out at 21, I think that freaked her out a little bit. Dad was like good ridden, well, not good riddance, but like good for you. Pretty much good riddance, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

He's like, okay, go fly. And then mom's like, but I miss you until we came home. Right. And then my bobby pins would be everywhere. And now she misses that because she doesn't have bobby pins. Right. I know. That's so funny. How do you think uh watching dad influence how we work and live today?

SPEAKER_00 33:25

I think, and it was neat for me because we worked in the same spot for a little while, like completely different parts, parts of it, but we worked in the same spot. And so I got to see him kind of in action as the supervisor. And the thing that I noticed the most is that his coworkers had no problem going to him. He was so approachable and they all loved him and they sang his praises all the time. They gave him a surprise birthday party one year and they invited me. I mean, he was always super approachable.

SPEAKER_02 33:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

And another thing that I noticed is that he never stopped applying for things. Like he would apply for things just to apply for things? Yeah. Just for fun. He was like, Oh, I got into this program, I got into this program, I got into this program. So I think for me, it helped me, especially knowing that PT school at the time, I don't know what it is now, but PT school, I think they took about five percent of those that applied. And so I was like, Well, what's the worst? I mean, the worst that could happen is I don't get in. So I think looking at him and looking at how he would just apply. All the time. So I think that really that was really cool for me. And then just always having something, like we said earlier, always having something to strive for. Yeah. So that way we're not staying still, which is bad in some ways because I don't know how to stay still anymore, but but good in many other ways.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

You know how to stay still, but I feel guilty for staying still because if we ever were sitting still growing up, why aren't you doing things?

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Go read, go sweep up the grass clippings in the driveway. That drove me nuts. And and then I would we had to like use a dustpan to pick them up. I'm like, why can't we just put them back in the grass? Let's let them go be but go be with their people.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

We're taking them away from their people. Why was like, why did we have to sweep them up?

SPEAKER_02 35:20

Hold on. Was there an easier way to do this?

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Andrew literally takes a blower and blows the grass.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Like, why did we never have okay? So I have a question for dad now. I think dad just didn't like us sitting. I don't think he liked us sitting.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

I still I still remember to this day. I ask everybody else. I'm like, did your dad make you make your bed, get dressed, and eat breakfast before you could watch cartoons on Saturday morning? And they're like, No, we ate cereal on the couch in our pajamas. And I was like, no, we were not allowed. I blocked that from my memory because I don't remember that. Were you ever in a meeting with dad out of curiosity? Yeah, we were in two separate areas. But one time I shadowed, I came in when I was still in Chicago, but I wanted a job in headquarters. So he helped me network with a bunch of people there, and he had me sit in a meeting just to like, I guess, again, keep me busy. So yeah, and my first job, we didn't really didn't have meetings. It was just uh you're at a computer. Yeah, I know. What is that? What is that like?

SPEAKER_02 36:16

What does that look like? I don't know. Like, I've never had a job without meetings.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

That's not true I know. It was, I mean, we would have like floor meetings, but it was it was not one where you brought a notebook and like had action items. I didn't stay in that job very I mean, I only stayed in that job for two years before I ended up in a job where it was like meetings all day long. Fun, fun. Yeah. I'm like half the meetings, I'm like, could this have been an email? So many, so many meetings that could have been emails.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

I think the thing that I remember about dad the most. I mean, besides keeping us busy all the time, never sitting. Vacations that weren't vacations. They were go go go, yeah, boot camp. He just really liked incorporating all aspects of life into all aspects of life. He still does that. So when I was in fourth grade, he came for career day because the military wasn't really common in our area. So he did the career day and brought his cadets and he did that for us too.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Oh, did he?

SPEAKER_02 37:14

Was it that taught us how to salute the cadets did and the cadets basically looked at me and was like, you should know better. I was like, They're like, you should know how to do that. Like, no, and then I joined the military. But he always was willing to do the things to do the things, so he's always just like willing to help people out no matter what. I think that's good and bad because I think he uh overwhelms himself, but everyone appreciates it so much.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

He's always been so generous. Yes, like I remember, I mean, he was always the one to pick up the check. Still to this day. Still to this day is he lets Andrew pick up the check sometimes now, too. We're like, Dad, you have to let you have to let us pay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

I think it's the competitiveness though, part of it too. Because when he's around the siblings, I swear they fight for the check. But his older sister, Maria, is karate.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

Aunt Maria literally punched him in the back wind out of it.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

Oh my gosh. So yeah, I guess what we have to look forward to in our future. I know.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Well, we, I mean, it did teach me how to pick up a check though, because like in other family, like Andrew's family, or like if we're out with friends and stuff, I'll be like, Can I see that that check for a second?

unknown 38:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

If they didn't split it, I'm like, let me see it.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

I just want to make sure, and then I like grab my card and all of the generosity, but also the slyness of what he does. Yeah. What do you think was the most pivotal moment we had growing up? Or you had, like you can say whatever. We probably don't have the same one.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

I would say when we moved to Maryland after dad retired and realizing that there was no escape plan.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

Like our that makes sense. And like living here.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Yeah, we're living here for as long as you know, I think realizing that we're not moving anymore, that we're in one spot.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

Which I think we were both very excited for initially.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Yeah, I don't I I don't know if he had even hit me. I was just like, well, uh, because we moved. So we're like, oh, we're moving again. And then the fact that they bought a house was different because they hadn't really done that. And then I mean, just everything. They redid the floors in the house. They did a whole bunch of stuff that they obviously wouldn't have done with military housing or any of the other housing that we had. So I think, yeah, moving to Maryland, knowing that that was our end spot was I think pivotal for me.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Well, what's funny is mom and dad even now talk about how they were like, we didn't think we would spend more than five years in the house. I think is what they thought. And that's the place that we lived the longest. And it was 20 plus years that they ended up living in that house.

SPEAKER_04 39:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

Yeah, no, that was really crazy. It wasn't too, was it a year later that dad had his second heart issue? Was it a year or was it?

SPEAKER_00 40:00

I he had his he had his triple bypass in when I was a junior. Yeah. I was we had our No, you were sophomore. Was it sophomore? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

I was I remember I think he had had a bunch of stents and stuff put in before then. But the the big the big one was sophomore.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Yeah. Something that we didn't bring up earlier was so this is I mean, this is interesting for both mom and dad. So when dad was 32 34. 34? Really?

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Yeah, because I had I had my first event at 30. So I was like, dang it.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

We both get different characteristics, including health. Yeah. Dad was diagnosed with heart disease at 34. And so part of the reason that we had to move from Europe back to Maryland so quickly was because he had to get he had to go to Walter Reed to get treated. And that's why mom had to figure out how to bring us back without any guidance from anyone to just take us to the states so that he could be treated. So wild that they both figured that out. But then he had another episode later. I feel like that changed the trajectory of his life for sure.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yeah. I mean, he always talks about to us like that life-changing event that kind of changes it. And I mean, he ran, I mean, he was always running and always exercising. So the fact that he had a Yeah, I mean, he ran every day. He'd do push-ups that were not, they would not pass the peak. Not the military. But I mean, so the fact that he had all of that and he ate healthy. I mean, he he did what they were told to do in the 90s, you know, low-fat stuff. I mean, he he did what he was told, and he still had heart issues. But I think after his triple bypass, he he really started looking into why he ended up with that. And now, I mean, he knows how to read EKGs more so than I do. And I work in a hospital. Like he bought a I'm sure this surprises you. He bought a book. He studied it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

He studied it.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

So that is something that I did not pick up from dad. I will not unless I'm actually interested. I won't just pick up random things and be like, I'm gonna learn about this. No, I definitely agree. That was a huge moment. Cause I think that's also when we start hanging out with people who were always in the same spot. I think that the my most pivotal moment growing up was actually getting rejected from Grove City because I think that changed where I thought the trajectory of my life was gonna go in all the best ways. So thanks, Grove City, for rejecting me.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Like that turned out for the Well, they were willing to let you in after the fact, which was just mean.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

I I mean the way he said it, I was like, no, that's not yeah, I'm okay, but thanks. Yeah. But I would have never joined the military had I gone to Grove City. But no, you would have been because like when I applied, my stuff was pretty good. Like it wasn't amazing, but it was still pretty good. I mean, my extracurriculars were out like they were great. I had all the extracurriculars. I did everything, but I thought I was gonna go to the same school as you and dad.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Yeah. And I mean, and that's okay that you didn't. I don't I don't I don't think you would have no thrived at Grove City. I and it's not because it's not because you didn't deserve to be there, but I think it just wasn't the spot for you.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Right. And so I but I mean Grove City is a very conservative school. And so when I went to Duquesne, I was like, why are there boys on our floor?

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Right. I know. Well you still had to sign you still had to sign them in though, right? Didn't you have to sign them?

SPEAKER_02 43:46

They weren't supposed to be on our floors after a certain time. Yeah. So I didn't that was quite a culture shock for me. I think out of all the pieces of culture shock I've had in my life, the first week at college was the most culture shocking I think I've ever experienced.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah. And I mean I I think I would have been a very different person if I would have actually applied to UNC for undergrad. I mean, based on how my senior year had gone, I mean, I did well academically and I got into this. I was valedictorian, but the guy I was dating at the time was not not great. But we all have those. Fine.

SPEAKER_04 44:18

You were still valedictorian. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Yeah, that's true. I think I would have just been a very different person. And I think I was meant to go to Grove City.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

I would have never met Andrew if I wouldn't have gone to Grove City because I would have never met Megan who introduced me to Andrew.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

Who was her husband, by the way, to the audience?

SPEAKER_00 44:34

Andrew is my husband. Yeah. Megan is not my husband. Megan Megan was my best friend.

SPEAKER_04 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Yeah. I I remember mom. She instead of waiting for me to answer the phone, she left a message and it just said she didn't get in.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

And my roommate heard it before I did. And I was like, oh, mom. Mom, that's hilarious. I didn't know that. She didn't get in. And I was like, oh, stink. No. I mean, it worked out.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

I was upset, but you know, rejection is a key theme in my life. And that's probably what makes me like adaptable. And I just continue to go with it and things work out. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

You deal you deal with rejection much better than I do. I've just been rejected more in my life than you have. Well, you've also applied for more. I mean, you've also tried more things than I have. I think I stick with things that I know I'll be good at. And then it's like, and then I also was under, especially in school, I would always assume that I failed the test until I heard otherwise, which is a terrible way to look at life. It's like, why can't I think that I did well?

SPEAKER_02 45:43

And I will say that has helped me for my leadership style because I don't know if you know that, but I always work with people who are very similar to that, where it's like they don't think highly of themselves. Not in a like just when it comes to certain things. And just recently I had one of the staff sergeants that I had on my team, and she had to take a bunch of tests to upgrade and to her promotion. And she was like, I don't think I did well. And I was like, What's the last test you took? And she goes, It was this. I was like, Did you also think that you didn't do well? And she goes, Yeah. I was like, How did you do? She's like, I got like a 90. I was like, Okay, thank you. That's all I needed to hear. Yeah. I was like, Did you hear that too?

SPEAKER_00 46:23

It was every time, it was every time too. It was just like I failed.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

It's like, oh, I got an A.

unknown 46:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

So I that's a good question that I continue to ask because of the way that I think that you went through testing.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

And well, I was just not a good test taker in general. So it was hard, harder for me. And I think a lot of it was anxiety too, that I've learned to deal with as I've gotten older.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

But I just didn't know, I didn't know that was it at the time.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

So anxiety wasn't really talked about. No, no, it's No, it's everywhere. It's a buzzword. What do you think other people would be surprised to hear about us, like growing up or how we kind of got to where we are today?

SPEAKER_00 47:03

I think that me and you are actually when we were kids, we were pretty good at being around adults. Like I felt like dad would just invite us to things where we would be the only kid. And I think he did that on purpose so that way we could learn how to be around adults in a respectful way. Because I remember dad was tea, obviously he's always teaching. And so he was like, Do you want to come out? I'm gonna go take all my students out to dinner. Did you want to come? And I was like, sure. And I he was like, You did really well with that. You just talked to them the whole time. And I was like, I mean, we just knew how to talk to adults. And I think growing up in the military helped with that because we were always going to, we were always being on base and seeing his dad's coworkers and superiors and things. So we just knew, knew how to be respectful in that regard.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

No, I've forgotten that he used to do that because that that skill plays a lot into how I'm able to approach because I can talk to a kid and talk to an adult. But when I was stationed in Columbus, Mississippi, I remember going out to dinner with like the leadership team from the base. And they had brought their kids, but their kids were like teenage years or whatever. So I sat next to one of the kids and then I sat next to a colonel. And my boss actually talked to me the next day, and he was like, You're just so impressive on how you can switch gears so quickly. Of I saw you talking to the teen and you just were so approachable and normal, but then you could switch gears and also talk to the colonel that was next to you. I was like, So dad actually taught us how to do that, huh?

SPEAKER_00 48:33

Very yeah. Well, and and with my kids, I tried to talk to them like I mean age appropriate, but I still tried to talk to them like adults. Like I don't use baby voices or anything like that. We we use big words, and if they don't know what the words mean, we explain what they mean. Like we I mean, we don't try to dumb things down for them. And so I think I think kids appreciate that too. And I remember being treated like one of the adults when dad would bring me places where I was the only kid. And so I think I think that that has been helpful as an adult with me around Emerson's friends and Beckett's friends and and just like all my friends have kids. So just being able to talk to kids and relate to them is is good. I feel like you're an introverted extrovert. Like you have to like you Andrew's the same way. Whereas, like, if you're gonna be out with people, you need a day of like by yourself with Lila.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

Yeah. I don't think I realized how much of an introvert I am until probably in the past couple years. Because as a military brat in the military, you just are so used to talking to them. Yeah, you don't really have a choice. Yeah. No, I think that what's funny is I would say mom is more extroverted than dad. For sure. Dad acts more extroverted, talks to freaking everybody. And I've started to turn into him. I know, me too. I know so many people in my neighborhood now, and I'm like, stop it.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Well, and I I'm so proud of myself. I did not have a dad moment. I was running and somebody was washing his car, and I did not say, Can you do my next those? I was like, Yeah, not turning into dad yet.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Like I talk to everyone now in my neighborhood, especially because of Lila. She loves going to people, and so people want to say hi to her. And I'm like, stop it. I want to be antisocial.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

But I think dad is very, he just loves talking with people, but he loves being by himself and just doing the things that he's doing.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

Yeah. He, I mean, he will hang out with people, but given the choice, he would much rather be home. Whereas mom was like the one that would like to go out with her friends and all this other stuff. And it's it's interesting watching them adapt to each other too. And I mean, they've been together for 40 years or 40 something yeah. Yeah. So I mean, at this I mean, it's interesting. But I I mean, I would say I have extroverted tendencies and I get FOMO so bad, so bad. And Emerson and Beckett are starting to get it too. And I'm like, y'all don't have to be invited to, I mean, just because you're not invited to something does not mean they don't like you.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

Like, as I I'm at a place where I'm like, I have the joy of missing out or whatever it is. I'm like, yay, I got to be home. Yeah. My couch is my favorite place. What do you hope working moms hear from your story? That they're normal.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

I coach working moms and I am also a working mom, and I still struggle with making time for myself and eating healthy sometimes and working out. But what works for one working mom will not work for the next one. So that's why I help them figure out what will actually work for them as opposed to trying a cookie cutter fitness plan. What do you hope leaders hear from this conversation?

SPEAKER_02 51:47

I think that the main thing, just kind of going over our stories and how we grew up for leaders, everyone's different. Everyone, and so it's kind of funny because it's very similar to what you just said, but you can't approach different situations the same way. And if you try to do that, then you're probably gonna struggle and reach challenges. But if you see everything as kind of an individual situation, you'll probably be able to make more progress. Cause I mean, we grew up in the same household. Stands are so different. And we're so opposites. So different. And that's okay. What's the one thing we want people to remember from this conversation? That mom and dad love me more.

SPEAKER_00 52:22

No, I'm that I'm the favorite. That I'm the favorite. I think that two people can have similar situations but grow very differently. And that I mean, it just shows that everybody handles things differently. And you need to look at each individual person before just trying to make it a cookie cutter thing.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

Yeah. And mom and dad did great.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

Yes. And they love us both the same. We have me more. Well, thanks for joining. This was fun. Maybe we'll do this again after you never know. Yeah, we should. We should make it a series. The sister sessions. Sister session.

SPEAKER_01 52:59

Sister session.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

Where we will try hard not to talk over each other.

SPEAKER_02 53:04

Never. No, that's part of the way that we do things. So needless to say, we both have learned a lot from each other, a lot from our parents, and we take a lot for how we approach today. But the funny thing is, we're both coaches in some way, shape, or form. So maybe we are more similar than what we realize, even though I think we're adamant that we want to stay different.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

That we're similarly different.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

Yes. Similarly different. Well, thanks again for joining me, and I'm sure I'll talk to you later today. Yes, that's great. Bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of Lead Into It. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean a lot to me if you would leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to help future listeners. If you want to learn more about the podcast or me, go to leadintoit.co. That's leadintoit.co. Thanks again.