81: Rewind Episode | Own Your Authority: How Great Leaders Trust Their Instincts & Build Influence with Marisa Santoro

Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about trusting yourself enough to make the decision anyway.

In this rewind episode, leadership coach and author Marisa Santoro returns to Lead Into It to talk about her book, Own Your Authority, and one of my favorite leadership topics: learning to trust your instincts.

So many leaders second-guess themselves. They wait for permission, hesitate to speak up, or question whether they've earned a seat at the table. Marisa reminds us that authority isn't something someone else gives you. It starts with how you lead yourself.

We also dive into influence, boundaries, relationship building, and why some of the best leadership lessons come from the moments when your advice isn't followed.

If you've ever questioned your decisions, struggled with confidence, or wondered how to lead with more conviction, this conversation is one you'll come back to.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What inspired Marisa to write Own Your Authority and why intuition became the foundation of the book
• Why self-leadership is the first step to leading others well
• How to trust your instincts without ignoring facts or feedback
• What happens when leaders stay silent instead of speaking up
• Why influence is built through relationships, not titles
• How to navigate situations where your recommendations aren't accepted—and why you're still leading
• The leadership lessons Marisa learned from her immigrant family about asking for and offering help
• Practical advice for newer leaders looking to build confidence and stronger decision-making skills
• Why your personal brand should evolve as you grow, while staying rooted in your values
• How to promote yourself authentically without feeling like you're bragging

About Marisa

Marisa Santoro is a former Wall Street technology executive, leadership coach, and founder of In Our Shoes, where she helps leaders develop confidence, communicate with intention, and lead authentically. She is the creator of the Gutsy Leadership System and author of Own Your Authority, a practical guide to leading yourself first so you can lead others with greater confidence and purpose.

Thanks for listening!! Let’s keep the conversation going: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn, or subscribe to my weekly newsletter. Excited to be here with you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to episode 51 of the Lead End Co podcast. Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Lead Endo podcast. I'm your host at Sarah Group. And I have another remote episode for you with the same guests last week, Works Incredible. So in last week's episode, we talked a lot about communicating with intention with Christopher. We talked about her guesting leadership and speaking with authority. And there's a lot of things that led into what's being asked as a book on your authority. And so we talked about that book and we talked about the lessons that you learned and why you decided to write the book. And this is really about self-leadership and trusting your guide as we go through all the different aspects of leadership. This episode is so great. I remember absolutely loving it. And Martha is such a tweet person who brought so many great lessons to the podcast. Last week's episode is really great if you want to have some key tools and resources for communicating. And then this episode is also wonderful when you want to learn more about yourself and create more of that self-leadership within you. So I hope you enjoy. Hi, Marissa. Thank you so much for coming back on the show. You are my very first return guest, and I'm excited to talk to you about your new book and all the things in the past year. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Oh hi, Sarah. I am doing great. And I'm so excited to be back in here on your podcast. The first one was um, I got so much feedback from the community, NRC's community. And um, you know, just so you're so authentically genuine that it's easy, it's easy to be a ghost here.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Thanks. I appreciate it. It was so great talking with you the last time too. I learned so much. So it's been a year, and we were just talking about this, but like the last time we talked, we were like, oh yeah, by the fall, like everything will be normal. There'll be no pandemic. And it's I think it's literally been a year since we've talked last. And right, it's been just a crazy whirlwind of a year.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah, it really does. It's it seems like a really long time. And um who knows when things are gonna go back to normal. But yeah, that full deadline was not really realistic, was it?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I know. Like everyone, I remember leaving the office and they were like, oh, two weeks. And then I'm like, oh, a couple months. Oh, maybe before and after the holidays. And now it's just like forget it. We're just gonna go with it. And if we're back to normal, my my goal is like this fall. Like, if we're not back to normal by this fall, then I'll just be really sad.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Like Yeah, and you know what? What is normal anyway, right? It's the new normal, as they say, but I feel like I'm still defining the new new normal. It's gonna be interesting what that looks like. It definitely won't look like what it was pre-pandemic, but yeah, really um it will get there.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

So you it sounds like you've been pretty busy this past year.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yes, yes, I have. Uh, you know, after we spoke, uh I was wrapping up the book. Um and just uh, you know, sitting lots of different interviews and working with people uh interested with the interested in my work. So it's it's been a really a wonderful journey. You know, all good. Uh also comes with, you know, uh some level of um stress, I think, with all, you know, with growth. But yeah, but very grateful.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Definitely. So what would you say were some of the like major obstacles that you've encountered over the past year? Uh specifically with the book or just in in general over the let's start with in general and then we'll talk about the obstacles with the book as we dive deeper into it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Uh I think one of the biggest obstacles for me uh and my family is that I really didn't have an end of my day. Um, you know, coming down to make the kids lunches and breakfast and then going back and, you know, in between, you know, coaching clients or doing training sessions virtually, and then taking notes and wrapping up your day that you would normally do, like just administrative things. I, you know, frequently, I would say more often than not, it would be, you know, that 5 p.m. stop time just never existed. It, you know, I would I would often, you know, run down to do dinner and then be back up at the computer at eight, nine o'clock at night. And so I had to get really fierce around my time, uh recognizing, you know, there it has to be boundaries. I think that was one of the biggest um, well, one of the obstacles I I struggled with.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

I totally understand. My last uh apartment, I had no like enclosed office. So my computer and everything was set up on my dining room table. And it was in the center of my apartment. I could always see my workspace. And it was just one of those things where it's like, it's always there. I can always see it. It's literally I pass it no matter what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah, you know, I forgot about that as well. I mean, I'm sitting right now talking to you in my dining room table, and this is actually a place I often work. So even like, yeah, even like there's no even borders between rooms in your house, right? Like, what is the official office workspace? Yeah, that's a really great point. And then of course conflicted with, you know, once again, family. If someone was, you know, uh in another room and you're doing your thing, right? Um kind of have to jack. So yeah, that's that's also another challenge, I think.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Okay, so let's dive into your book. It is called Own Your Authority, and I would love to hear more about it. And let's start with what inspired you to write this book specifically.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Uh, you know, the one thing that really drove me, uh, if I had to pinpoint it, is the message around leadership and intuition. I just don't see it. Uh, it's never been talked about. Uh, maybe in you know, testing, you know, how leaders should use their instincts, but you know, I really lead with it and I really want people to uh embrace the fact that it's not just about what you do in your career. It's so much more. It's really following what's not seen, heard, tasted, felt, you know, it's following your gut. And so that was really, I kept that at the forefront and and just really combining those, those two things together because it is a very real thing, our instincts.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

That's so true. And leadership sometimes, and I don't know if you felt this as you were entering into it, but it's like you're supposed to create this persona, this leadership persona where it just is like you're authoritative and commanding and you command presence in a room. And some of the best leaders I've encountered aren't that way. They are very authentic. They command a room, but in their own way. So with that being said, I would love for you to go into like, what is the major, you talked about intuition, but what is the major advice or line of advice that you have for the book itself when it comes to owning your authority?

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Uh the major, well, uh the book is split into five sections. Uh I guess you might say I have five uh major steps, but if I had to fun, you know, I'm very methodical about it, right? I guess that's a normal author treat. Um, but I think the major thing I want people to walk away with in terms of owning their authority is uh recognizing that it's it's in it's inner leadership, it's self-leadership, and on many levels, it's also self-love. Uh, you know, I can't lead with the self-love message because that would sort of turn away, you know, a lot of I think I think that would be a mixed message, you know, it's a it's a business education book. But in the end of the day, it really whittles down to self-leadership. If you can master, you know, your your mind, uh, your emotions to some degree, although I do believe emotions is is important to show at work. I cover that a lot in the book. You can you show emotion at work and still gain respect at the same time. And in your point, commanding that presence, yes, you can have executive presence, but you still have to be aware of um of you know that uh that inner voice and and how you want to show up. So I guess, yeah, if I had to whittle down all of the major points I make in the book of how to own your authority, they all they all boil down to self-leadership, internal dialogue, also, right? That's self-leadership.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Is there um a point in your career or before you started writing the book where you're like, this needs to be talked about? Because you even said that self-leadership and intuition isn't really talked about very much. But at what point in your career did you realize I need to talk about this because it's important?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yeah, that's a really good question. Um, I think it one I think when I discovered it was when I became a parent, uh, when I felt like I was juggling a lot of things uh between work, family, home. And I realized that uh, you know, there's a lot of resistance because it's so easy for you in a state of, you know, so much busyness going on in your life to sort of just, you know, rot go with the flow and and and let others lead. So you can take a backseat and enjoy a more balanced life. And, you know, I realized that that was a that was a big trade-off. If I was gonna go in that direction, it's like losing your authority. It's kind of like handing someone else your authority. And so I think that was um, yeah, that was probably the moment that I realized uh as as a as a as a woman, you know, I won't say that, you know, men of of course now more than ever are are taking primary roles in terms of parenting. But at the time for me, I realized that I I could have very easily lost my voice and and and and lost a lot of time that I had built up for a reputation, where um, you know what, if I don't, if I don't sort of speak up and and really rest and really point out that there are things that you can do to step outside your comfort zone in spite of the real um uh knee-jerk reaction of of of just you know following versus leading at times when you're at your lowest or uh, you know, chaos happens at work, acquisitions, you know, things that just happen in the workplace that could easily throw you off off uh of your day to day. So I think I think that was probably when um you know I realized it because I realized I wasn't being authentic with myself once I became a parent. And ironically, that's when I started in our shoes, my career platform. That's exact when I had my first child. I started in our shoes because I was like, you know, this isn't people aren't talking about, you know, how we how you feel suppressed and how you aren't following your gut. And I think it all sort of stemmed from that one uh event in my life. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

So why is it important to follow your instincts or your gut, especially as a leader?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Because it's your truth. It's it's your truth and it's your beliefs. And you know, thoughts are just beliefs are just thoughts that you think over and over again until they become truth in your mind. It doesn't mean that, you know, they're anybody else's truth. And if you want to lead authentically in any area of your life, you know, I know that I'm I'm my book is based on career, but I I fundamentally try to apply this in every area of my life. If I want to be a better parent or a better partner, uh, you know, I you really have to be authentic about it and you really have to uh trust yourself. And you and you can't do that unless you rely on your own truths and what you believe to be the rest the the the best direction and guidance. Otherwise, you know, what other guidance would you have? You'd be following other people's beliefs and thoughts, and that's not leadership at all, though you can lead and follow and be, you know, follow others. That's an effective leader. But at the end of the day, I think that our instincts really is our north star. We have to we have to stay grounded by that and uh and really be willing to step into taking some level of risk. And you can't do that without following your gut.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Authentic leadership has become a coined phrase, I would say, especially in the past six months. Like I've heard it a lot recently. I had somebody who came on my uh show that talked about authentic leadership for himself and how it was so important for him and self-awareness and stuff like that. For me personally, trusting my gut has been incredibly important in all of my career. And I've noticed that there's times when I'm like, well, I'm gonna go follow my gut. There's a chance that this could go very, very, very wrong. But if I don't follow my gut, I know I'll regret it more. Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

The cost, right? What is the cost? And you just, yeah, that's such a good point because I think that people just think of the payoff. Uh the payoff normally, from what I've seen, is safety, is um, you know, and by safety I mean, you know, uh saving your job, you know, not taking a risk, uh, not being visible, you know, feeling like, okay, I'm I'm safe, you know, under the radar. Um but a lot of people, a lot of times we don't we don't really think about the risk to staying silent or the risk to not following our gut. And I'm glad you talked you covered that because I I I have a section in the book called All right, I'll just give it away a little bit. It's called your no action your no action action. Okay. And it it really just speaks to that point you just made. Like the we don't think about the the the cost to not taking action enough and by c by by action in this case is not not following an instinct. But be good to yourself, because I think a lot of us, you know, we we have to I I feel like if we don't fail and we don't have those those experiences, we you know, we kind of shoot ourselves down and we won't move. So I I I'm fine, you know, I'm okay with the times when I don't follow my gut and it just, you know, it's a lesson learned. You move on, which is important, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Right. I will say the most times I've like fallen on my face, failed, is actually the times when I really didn't listen to my instincts or my gut. It was I was running so fast that I was just like, I need to get it done. Let's go, let's go, let's go. But the times I actually sat down and talked and talked to my intuition or whatever it is you call it, your gut, um, those were the times I was very methodical about how I approached the situation. Because most times, for me anyway, that was when I was like, do I need to fight back, quote unquote? Like, do I need to really express why I'm concerned about this or why maybe I would advise in a different way. Uh, because I was a public affairs officer in the military. I had to advise commanders of high levels on certain situations. And there were times when they were like, absolutely not, Sarah. We're not doing that. And I'd have to say, but, sir, but ma'am, I truly believe like if we went this way, went this direction, we could learn a lot, we could show our story. Those times were hard. And those were very much, I knew in my gut that that was the right way to go. And it was up to them whether or not they would follow it or uh go in a different direction. But those were hard conversations.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Yeah, you know, and uh it almost feels like you read my book, Sarah. I come I come in the pushback, I cover pushback, you know, and what you do in times of pushback. And I think that's where the doing versus being it it shows up. Like, you know, you really want to follow your gut and and lead with what you know people need, not necessarily what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. So here's that, but then how do you do that? And that's where the doing comes in, you know, and and in the book I talk about the specific actions you can take to be prepared for those tough talks. Uh, you know, just having that in your hip pocket so you can execute and communicate effectively, but at the same time, you're you're leading with what you know is the best approach and you're not being ballsy about it or throwing it down anybody's throat, but simply standing your ground. And if at the end, you know, your commanders didn't follow your advice and they decided to agree or disagree, that's okay too. But there's power, there's authority in you voicing that opinion, sticking to your opinion, and making sure everyone heard that opinion for, you know, future reference. And regardless, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:16

That's still owning your authority. It's so funny you say that. I think people consider it a fail when people don't take your advice or what your input is. I actually just was talking with somebody yesterday and she's like, I just don't have influence. Like she took the strength finders and she was like, I have a lot of relationship building, but my influencing skills are very down low. And I was like, that's I understand where you're coming from, but also when you relationship build, you also influence. And so by creating your authority in that presence, you influence in your own authentic way, is what and I was trying to describe that to her, but I hope and I hope she took that away. But I felt bad that she was like, I just don't have any influence. And I'm like, no, no, no, you do, I promise. It's just coming out in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yeah, you know, that's that's so true. I mean, people don't really couple those two together. But if you have really meaningful relationships uh at work and even outside of work, you know, I not that you have to be turned on all the time, but you can be, you know, at a soccer game and you meet somebody and you're, you know, leading with what I call your elevator pitch, right? We talk about that a lot. Um, you know, regardless, it's uh it's really important that the relationships we make, we leverage. And I think I just heard you say that word, right? You have to leverage them. And that's where the influence comes. Because just because you have a lot of relationships doesn't mean you're actually using them effectively. And by using, I mean that authentically, not using people, but leveraging those relationships. Because at the end of the day, if it's a real relationship and people know and trust you, then if you're asking them for support or a referral or a question or to keep you in mind, you're only doing that because of that established relationship. And so if they come through for you on that request, then in some respects you and you actually gain from that, then in some respects that is a level of influence where you've leveraged a relationship, you've gained something out of it, you've reciprocated I'm sure if you have authentic relationships. And it's just this beautiful, you know, matrix of of uh people that are now your, you know, what I like to call, I I refer to this as your raving fans. And raving fans are influenced. So I I really love that you uh you you couple those two together. I think more people need to hear that.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

It's so it's so good. Um So going back to like your process for your book, was there a point in the book that you found very difficult to write? And if so, what was it and why was it difficult to write?

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Um I wouldn't say there was a point in the book, but there was uh a common obstacle throughout the book, uh during the first draft, the very first draft. And I would say the reason is and what the obstacle was is you know, you have so much information and we have so much information in our head that, you know, when you're putting it down on paper, I I think for me at least, I made it a lot a lot of assumptions in that first draft that people know my uh, you know, my intention and the story behind the story of what I was trying to share. And so I think when you're writing, you really have to get down to like the basics and like step one, two, and three. So initially I did a brain thump, which is really what they say good authors should do. I I was I was coached on that when I started writing. You know, don't worry about editing or something, let's put it all down. And so I did that right. But what I struggled with is that once it was all down, you know, I think the order of things and just recognizing that there is a sequence to any book, whether it's fiction or nonfiction, there's a sequence and they have to follow the structure, and this comes before that. And so there was just so much content that I pulled from the newsletter, from my curriculum, from my talk, from clients and feedback that I think once you it's like a resume, right? Once you get it all down, now you gotta reorder and shuffle it. And so uh throughout to the very end, as I was doing edits, that was really uh that was really a challenge. Uh uh I don't know how I would even address it if I had to do it again. I think that I think that's part of the journey. I think you really have to go through that, like that journey to say, okay, how should all this be structured? It doesn't just pop out of the box, right? You have to make it um cohesive. And so I couldn't like exactly follow my curriculum and I couldn't exactly follow um my talks. I I really had to put it into a product that was cohesive enough so that someone who never heard of me or never heard of the work that I do with leadership and intuition would would follow along. And so that um I think it was a great learning experience. And I honestly think if I had to do another book right now, I'd probably go through it all over again. I don't know. I haven't talked to enough ones to be honest with you, but I know I did it right the first time and getting it all down on paper.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

I can't imagine the amount of time, effort, organization, brain uh brainstorming that it takes to write a full-up book on leadership and how to make it easily digestible for the audience that you're trying to reach as well, to make sure that it's understood and they can apply it.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Yeah. And you you you you touched on a good point, the audience. Uh, you know, my audience is very varied. I work with a lot of mid career leaders, I work with a lot of executives. Um, I have worked, not as much, but I have worked with um, you know, just out of college, more on the future emerging leaders, high potential leaders, you know, in the mid 20s, I would say. Um, and so when I wrote this, and even sales leaders, small business owners, uh, when I wrote this, you know, you kind of, you know, you kind of want to uh make sure you kind of hit the beat for everybody. So that was another round of um, you know, I give a lot, a lot of examples in the book to sort of bring everybody all everyone's challenges in so that it really rounds out. Uh but it really is a leadership for a leadership book for for all of those uh positions. Uh but but really nailing that down, I think it's important when you're sticking to a specific topic. Um on some levels my kids, although they wouldn't understand my book, they're they're pretty young, they have taken away some of the major principles from the book, like teaching 100% responsibility. I you know I kind of weave that into the book, but you know I I've dumbed it down so that they understand it here at home and had a I I think anyone could really really take away the audience is key.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Mm-hmm definitely. So you talked about some of the stories that you have in the book. What's your favorite story that you shared in the book and would you mind sharing it here? Oh that's a good question.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Um my favorite story okay well I'm gonna say probably the most personal story I put in was with my my parents uh I was raised in an immigrant Italian immigrant family and many respects I feel like although I was born in America I kind of was in a very yeah immigrant household and so I I had a lot of American friends but there were a lot of differences and so I talk about um a store a quick story in the book about when my father first came to this country and um met my mom and uh you know they I learned by observing them how they would give the shirt off their backs for people, you know, to help them in any way they could but at the same time they they never were afraid to ask for help either. You know, we weren't raised in a wealthy family. So you know if they needed you know advice or support they freely asked it. They didn't feel bad about it. And so and then in return they also got you know in w in reciprocity they received as well. And I think that that holds a lot of people uh holds a lot of us back in business. I think that we're afraid to ask I think that we don't feel qualified to ask and so I I really really threw that story in. It was it was a very personal one for me because I didn't want it to seem like I was putting down immigrants. I basically said, you know, you have to think like an immigrant that's that's what I wrote in the book. And um that's such a controversial subject but I am a product of an immigrant family and I felt you know authentic writing it. But at the same time it was a very personal thing for me because um I guess in a way I feel like um maybe I know what it's like to be in those shoes if as an immigrant. Not that I was one but um so that was a bit vulnerable for me to share but I I I the point around that was really to be um fearless around asking and to know if you're a good person and you're sharing your your value with others you know consistently then people don't mind helping. And if you receive the word no, that's okay too. Immigrants move on and they knock on other doors until they get the yes. And so that's that's why I focused on that story. Thank you for asking that.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah no that sounds like a great story and I don't know if you need this but I'm Italian too but like only part like 25%. So that's we have a definitive connection. But it's cool that you your parents came from Italy and you have that background and I'm sure they're also amazing cooks. Oh yeah that's another story. Love Sunday dinners oh my gosh my friends uh grandparents seriously made the best Italian food and they always had dinners on Sundays and it was the best food. So it's such a community and I agree with you about the um asking for help uh and offering help. Like as it's funny because I'm actually I have another interview coming up and we're talking about this too where it's uh how how difficult it is to ask for help because you think that it's going to be perceived as you don't know what you're doing. And it's hard to overcome that and be like, well actually I don't know everything even though I want it to seem as like as though I do and it's hard to humble yourself enough to just say okay actually I do need help guide me in the way that I can improve on this and build myself upon whatever you're gonna teach me and help me out with.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

That's so true. And when you think about teams, Sarah, right? Um do you want your team to not be open and honest enough to say hey I need help, right? So as a leader, um I do touch on this um you know you have to be mindful of managing the perception as well. Like you don't have to have everything figured out and there's a way to ask while still maintaining I guess your level of um you know how you your your reputation but uh your team as well if they see someone you know they're working for someone who refuses to admit their mistakes or refuses to be vulnerable or refuses just lose some emotion then what are you saying to your team? You're saying you know we're a rock solid ironclad ship and we take no prisoners. You know what I'm saying? So um it's it's a really important lesson that you highlighted there managing the perception.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Yeah. And setting the example too. So uh I will say this is what I've always appreciated about how the military runs is I was literally trained to become an officer. So I was trained in leadership. My leadership skills came first my technical skills came second. So in the corporate world it's the opposite you usually work your way up your technical skills get built and then you're either put into a leadership role or you just continue advancing in your technical skills. For leadership you're as an officer you're not expected to know everything. So you lean upon those that have the technical skills in whatever field that is to really advise you in what direction you're going. And so you kind of pull all that information together that you give and then as an officer and a leader you make the decision. So it's easily built into the the learning path as a military officer like you might not know, but you have people who know and you can depend on them. But as a leader you're dependent upon to make the decision.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Yes and you're not and let me ask you in that decision in that example did you necessarily know all of the expert knowledge of those giving you? No. No, right? Absolutely not and yeah and so I think that that I saw time and time again where leaders would be questioned well what makes you qualified to make that decision when you know your your own people are better experienced and on the ground right and so just because you know I've worked with so many people that you know they they they manage you know people that are older than them or expert at whatever it is architects and they know nothing about the details of architecture. That doesn't mean you can't lead effectively. And so I think that's really where instinct comes into play even more because you really have to follow your guide based on the information your people are telling you your team trusting your team I I like that you word use the word dependent because we're also dependent on on our team, right? And not knowing all the answers but really important.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

So that you bring up a really good point. I will say because one of the obstacles that I encountered very often was did I have authority? Like because not only did I look young, I was usually a pretty young officer who had a team that were either the same age or older than me. And I would have to go into a room and be like provide feedback on what situation we have right now. Where would you go? And then gather all that and then I would make a decision. But there were times when I was questioned on the decision that I was making or how I was approaching it. What advice would you give to somebody who's possibly or most likely encountering that right now as a leader because as a leader you're questioned so much on the decisions that you make. So how do you two own your authority in those decisions?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Well I think in that in that situation and I think that's a common uh scenario I think that you you have to show up in that situation with some hard facts that you can base your decisions on because you can't just, although I talk about following your gut, you can't just say, well, you know I'm really leaning in this direction just because I feel right about it. That's just not going to hold enough water. So I think there's a really fine balance between coming in and showing the facts and why you're basing your decisions so that people can really wrap their head head around it. But in addition I think that there are patterns that you have seen in the past where you have seen some measure of success. And so you sort of rely on those patterns of maybe it's not the exact situation, but it's very similar where you've been burned or you've found that you've lost time and so you also have to you you can bring in those experiences and say look this is what I experienced in the past or uh you know leaning on you know certain success patterns that you've had and fail fail patterns. So I think between the facts um you know even metrics uh past success stories and at the end of the day your gut is really what you lean on in packaging that and that's that's really um it's really selling it right selling your ideas and standing behind them. But it is a fine balance and it's very subjective to the situation. But uh you know I think that also is a is a thing that many leaders uh young new leaders shy away from because they they they're concerned about whether their opinions and recommendations are good enough and and if they're even qualified to to state them. That's a really great question. I'm really I think I hope I hope this even this supports a lot of the younger younger people who are who are sort of wanting to to spread their wings more into leadership are a little afraid afraid about it because they don't have as much experience.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

How would you say to help people who want to become a leader or maybe are newer in the leadership role build that experience or maybe like hone their intuition because you talked a lot about like those failed experiences or those really good experiences. When you're newer it's hard to lean upon those experiences because you don't really have too much. So how would they continue to grow those skills as well as hone their intuition to become the leader that they want to in their own authentic way.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

You know the best recommendation I'd have for them is to really consistently step into risk taking small risks in their career and by small risks, you know it could be piping up in a meeting and disagreeing with the consensus in the room. It might seem like a small subtle you know action stat, but really if you're standing your ground, you're obviously you know saying something against the grain and following your God in that instance, right? Because you feel right. I also think that um taking risks can also be you know uh uh could be when you're you know making yourself more visible maybe speaking on a panel or speaking up um when most people would assume that you're quiet and you're the observer because you're a young, you know, professional or maybe not even young, someone who's not even gone into leadership. Uh so speaking up, you know, following your gut and recognizing that you do have something to share and and you have value. You know, so risks is really is really you know in any way and the way you know when those risks shows up and this is totally tied to instinct is when you feel uncomfortable when you really feel like you know you are um not sure if this is a territory you want to lean towards but you're gonna do it anyway and you act in spite of. So I think the risks are really really important.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

That's true. Okay, so I am looking through the contents of your book uh or at least the table of contents because I just want to see what else is so interesting and we could possibly touch on. The one thing that sticks out to me is actually the first one which is self-promote with ease and authenticity. So I'd love for you to like give us a a super Cliff Notes version and if there's younger people on here, if you don't know what Cliff Notes are, it's a summary. So uh like just what would be the most important thing for somebody to take away from to self-promote with ease and authenticity.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Uh the simplest way I can describe that chapter is being really clear on your purpose, being really clear on what you enjoy doing, your talents, the things that come natural and being really clear on your values, the things that you just want to do, the things that you want to get more involved in you know purpose, passion, skills. If you can really find uh step into roles that that uh align with your values that you feel passionate about and that still you know doing the things that you enjoy doing, then you will have no problem self-promoting yourself and being authentic. That entire chapter is about personal branding and um I really do feel like the combination of those things is really how you sort of establish your platform and then could feel comfortable talking about it because it's so it's so genuine. It's so you. It's it's your why.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

Mm-hmm definitely I love that one of the leaders that I was working with at the company I was at a couple years ago I did like a quick one-on-one with her. She was a senior manager at the time and she was going through a manager in training course and I was like oh that's so interesting. What's one thing that they taught you that you really wish you would have learned earlier on she's like making my brand and kind of creating who I am and what I like stand for. She's like I had no idea how important that was and had I known that at early on in my career, I could have done so much with it. Now on the flip side I think it's hard because I think your brand evolves over your career because what you're passionate about changes. Like before I was very passionate about communications. Now I've kind of transitioned into leadership and management and team building. So it's important but also ever evolving absolutely that's right and that's growth.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

In fact if you if you don't that sense of growth then you won't look for more leadership. But aside from those things, I think what you know you just described is growth and you know we are constantly evolving and our needs and desires change. And so following that even there, following your instinct like when you decide when you realized you know this is where I was in communication now I'm I'm exploring more management and leadership no that's following your gut right there. You're just no one no one sent you a memo on that you just felt it you followed it and now you're you're living it. So I think that speaks so much to instincts. And you see even in that subtle example you know most of us wouldn't even say oh I'm following my gut I'm gonna move in this path. It's not like a an obvious thing but yet you just shift there and then all of a sudden you grow and new opportunities happen. And so I think that's why nobody's really talking about these things because it's um it's so subtle and yet it accounts for so much.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Well or they don't realize it's them following their gut or their instincts like I because I would say some of it's failure. It's like try and see if it works and we're trying it doesn't work and it's just kind of how it flows but it's all trial and error. You're like well this doesn't feel right I need something else. And I think people see that as if that something else doesn't work, it's considered failure when actual in actuality what you just learned is that didn't work. So okay next one like moving on from there and that growth and evolving is actually like it's the trial and error. It's the um taking risks like the more risks you take the more aligned I think you'll find where you're going. Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

It is a trial and error and you you sort of have to see I call that contrast it's you know we have to have the contrast in order for us to get the clarity. But how do you get clear unless you just need some contrast and some you know lessons learned and failures fail forward. So um yeah and in that instance you are very much following your gut and you're creating your next your next phase in in your life in your career by simply saying yes to what you feel compelled to do next.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

Definitely love that yeah so when does your a book officially come out on Amazon? So it officially drops on April 27th uh both Amazon and Barnes and Noble oh awesome and um yeah so just about a month away it seems like wow it it's almost like giving birth here I can imagine and so before we hopped on uh the recording part you had said that uh it's unfortunate that you can't do any in-person uh book signings or anything like that right yes it is unfortunate um you know given the situation uh but you know at the same time I'm doing a lot of events online uh a lot of bonuses are coming with the book uh you know I have a podcast uh walking through 101 strategies to own your authority plus a report on those 101 ways um and what else we're doing a couple of book club launch parties well I'll go deeper into the book so you know thank God for for technology we're gonna try to make this as in person as we can that's awesome it's it's amazing how adaptable everyone has become now and I will say just in my own personal experience before I was recording on Zoom like way before all of this and now everyone knows how to use Zoom so easily like I don't have to explain anything. So with you going through all your stuff for the book I'm sure everyone will be like yeah this is actually easier for me. I don't think I would have been able to join this book discussion had it not been virtual. So maybe it's all gonna be easier and you'll reach a lot more people Yeah you know that's true.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

And I I don't even know like you know if we didn't weren't forced to use this technology if people would even as an option join a virtual group like even if they had you know I think they would just default to an in-person signing or an in-person meeting. So I yeah I think you're absolutely right the dynamic uh we have really changed in how we um and how we connect. So it might I I I imagine you know it would be an even bigger a bigger um you know participation rate in in the in in many in many uh ways uh across um meetings and and and definitely across uh book launches so yeah so I'm really excited and very excited.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

That's awesome. And uh for those that are listening where would be the best places to find you follow you all of the things.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

Yeah so um the web my website is probably on the website it's inrshoes.com that's I uh and the letterrshoes dot com and there you can sign up for the newsletter and you'll definitely uh get the um you know the ability to to join uh the the book launch so if you're once you're on the newsletter we'll be sending out lots of updates uh and bonuses and things like that uh free chapter and so yeah that would definitely be and and also on LinkedIn if you uh see me on LinkedIn please reach out with a connection let me know you met me through Sarah and uh her podcast. Uh and then of course you know uh grab your copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble because I also have a lot of things in the back of the book uh opportunities for for readers to join and go even further.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

That's awesome. And Marissa I'm so excited to read the full book. I get read the little summary and it's so informational and great inspiration too. So I will definitely download it on Amazon when it's fully available. And I highly recommend the audience do the same thing because it's just talking with you today and last year and following you on all the social media platforms. You have a lot to offer and a lot of great information that I definitely am aligned with. I think what you provide is great. So I know others will gain a lot out of it too.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that feedback, Sarah um and you know one thing I completely forgot to mention is this just uh developed a few I think two weeks ago I found out um Rahel uh is also going to be publishing this as an audio book. Oh nice so um yeah that wasn't actually my expectation and um hoping that a woman does narrate we're hoping it will be a woman all you know representing me. So I'm excited to hear who who he or she might be. Yeah. So that's that's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 43:24

And the audio books have been I I personally I mean as a podcaster I love everything audio but uh audiobooks are so easy for me to digest too because I can go on walks and drives in the shower it's like everything. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Congratulations that's big deal yes yes that's gonna be a release in June they say um but the book itself print in digital edition Kindle will be uh April 27th. So definitely will bring you into the launch Sarah and um and your audience I'm so excited and I'm really really excited to be back here. Your you know yours yours is the second uh second podcast that I've been a return guest on and it really does speak to how easy and natural these these are um you know I I webcasts are just becoming so so popular. I think that there's a reason for that you know getting inside really uh powerful conversations to support others. So thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Well thank you and fun fact about podcasts and how popular they've gotten on Apple Podcasts today they should be reaching over two million podcasts. So oh wow there's gonna be there should be by the end of today over two million podcasts available to listen to which is insane.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Wow and I know Amazon launched their platform so I'm wondering how fast they're gonna catch up but I did not know that. Well I know you're on my skin.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Awesome. Well thanks again for coming on Marissa again I'll put all of the information in the show notes so uh you all can head there to purchase the book. And thanks again Marissa. Oh thank you. All right I'll talk to you soon Sarah. Thanks for listening to another episode of LeadIntoit. If you enjoyed this episode it would mean a lot to me if you would leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify to help future listeners. If you want to learn more about the podcast or me go to leadintoit.co that's leadintoitco. Thanks again