I would like to begin this episode by acknowledging that I am located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and I am privileged and honored to live in learn on the uncede unsurrendered territory of the Anishnaabeg Algonquin nation.
The Narrator:Hello, you're listening to Trench Leadership: A Podcast From the Front, produced by iglen studios, a show for emerging leaders from all professions, to hear from other leaders who have led from the front made the mistakes, have the triumphs, and are still learning along the way. And now, here's your host, Simon Kardynal.
Simon Kardynal:In this episode, we'll talk about understanding fear and fearlessness, helping dispel the myth of living a fearless life. Rather, we're going to talk about how to harness the power of fear, using it to help focus our mind to help us overcome our personal and professional fears. As we begin, I would like to invite you to pause this episode right now for just a moment and think of a time that you are experiencing fear as a leader. It can be anything for any reason. I'd even like to offer that you write it down and have it handy to reference as we go through this episode. And once you are ready, hit play and we're on our way. Fear holds us back in so many ways. But the thing is, fear is meant to hold us back, to make us take pause and consider our actions. And that's because from an instinctual perspective, fear is meant to literally help us survive. In her New York Times article, Kettler (2018) asked the question, "I suspect fearlessness is a concept invented by motivational speakers to sell books and command large audiences at events that featur fear conquering exercises. I wonder, is being fearless even a real thing?" There are so many people out there suggesting that we should all live a fearless life, ignore our instincts and push ahead without pause. That's not realistic, and quite frankly, it's dangerous. We can live WITH our fear, acknowledge it, and use it to power our growth, but before we can live with our fear, we need to understand the root of fear. Adam Satinsky(2021) from IQ matrix details four ways to help understand how fear takes hold of us. First, fear will cause us to have irrational made up beliefs. For example, how often have you convinced yourself that you don't deserve to be with a group of people because you're convinced that you are not the same caliber as them? We hear a lot about imposter syndrome being used to explain this style of fear. Second, a sense of uncertainty can overtake our fear response. The lack of knowing what an outcome will be can cause us to shy away from taking chances because we're afraid of failing. Third, fear can cause us to distort our expectations. Fear can take our imaginations for a wild ride, always helping us create a frightening future where we will fail in the most epic way possible. And fourth, fear will distort our memories, using our imaginations to skew past successes, and especially previous failures. Fear will do this to control the present by making up stories of how badly we think we suck. Dr. Kerry Ressler, (2018), Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the director of neurobiology at Fear Laboratory at McLean hospital, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School was quoted as saying, "Talking about being fearless covers up where people really are with fear. After all, fear is the most evolutionarily conserved behavioral reflex for survival, the question is, how do you not let the emotional response on the fear reflux run wild?"
The Narrator:Oh, hello, there. It's Glen, the voiceover artist? And if you're hearing me, that means we're at the midpoint of this episode. Do you have an idea for an episode that you feel is vital for Emerging Leaders? Leave the idea in the comment section and if your topic is chosen, you will have the opportunity to join us as a co-host during the recording session. So, drop us a note and let's talk. This podcast is made possible by listeners like you, and if you feel we've earned it, please tell your friends and leave a review to help us grow our following. And now, back to the show.
Simon Kardynal:Before I start talking about ways to harness fear, I'd like to point out that I'm not nieve. Standing up to fear is hard. Each time you discover a new fear, it will be hard to stand up to it. Both dedication, courage, and persistence, the things that scare you can become less scary. But to be clear, harnessing fear won't happen overnight, and there is no magical self-help program that will make that happen for you, you have to want it for yourself. One of the biggest things to remember about fear is that it doesn't have to be your enemy. It is Forbes article the myth of fearless leadership, how to lead when you're afraid. Chris Cancialosi,(2015) quoted Dr. Joey Collins, an assistant professor of Industrial Organizational Psychology at Seattle Pacific University, who said that,"Effective leaders demonstrate a high degree of self awareness and are mindful of their feelings. It's not that they don't feel fear, they do, it's just that they are more aware of their fear and better able to process the threat that is signaling it." What's being said here is that the fear won't go away, but by acknowledging it, we can use its energy to help process WHY we are afraid, thereby helping ourselves get through the difficult moment. Up next, we'll have some tips to help you harness your fear. First, know that you aren't alone. YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. It may seem like it, but you really are not alone. You HAVE someone to ask for help. You have been selected for this leadership role because of your strengths and skills. You are not alone. And second, how bad can it get? Ask yourself this when you feel the walls caving in, and then take a breath and answer yourself honestly. But the thing is, the trick here is to be honest, what will really be the fall-out? And more often than not, the answer will most likely be a manageable response that you have the skills to deal with. Third, don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm not suggesting that you need to ask for help the second you experience fear. Rather, I'm suggesting that when you begin to feel things coming apart, take a breath, find the expert, because there is always an expert and ask the question. Just because you're the leader does not mean you need to or are expected to have all the answers. The following points can be used to calm yourself and see when and how you're experiencing fear. But one of the most common fears that leaders have, especially leaders new to a position or team, is the fear of making mistakes. Alice Boyes (2020), in her Harvard Business Review article offers some practical advice to be a more fear effective leader.
Number One:Don't be ashamed or afraid of your fear. Our culture glorifies fearlessness. Our culture expects the leader to have no fear, be forceful, loud, and unafraid of any challenge. Alice said it best, "Don't be ashamed or afraid of your fear of making mistakes, and don't interpret it as evidence that you're an indecisive leader or not bold or not visionary." Number Two, we can control systems not outcomes, done effectively worrying can help you make better decisions. Of course, the challenge with this theory is that most people don't worry effectively. The trick is to direct your energies and your worries at the things that you can realistically control. When you feel things starting to slide and the fear beginning to creep in, consider asking yourself some of the following questions. Is the data you're relying on reliable? What are its limitations? How can you use your systems to your advantage? What procedures do you have in place to help you see your blind spots? And what are your processes for being alerted to a problem quickly and rectifying it if a decision has unexpected consequences. I would recommend that you write these questions down and then write down the responses so that when you feel the fear beginning to creep in, you can go back and physically see the answers. Number Three, broaden your thinking. When we begin to feel stressed and or fearful, the natural tendency is to want to put our head down and grind hard until we are through that challenge, often losing sight of the larger objective. This is the time to lift your head. Take a moment and open your mind. To start this, consider thinking of the objective requirements and then take a moment. Are you starting to see a theme here? Take a moment... and ensure that you are meeting these goals. This may be a good time to enlist the help of your team to fact check yourself against your fears and your biases. Number Four, and Number Five, stay calm and take a break. I put these points together because they work in tandem, one helping the other to help you. In each of these points, you heard the need to take a moment and rest. Take that time to reset We all need this. And it's no big deal if we need to take a moment to sit back and get the calm back, to find our center. It's not weakness, its strength to admit that you need the time. Taking some quiet "you time" will help your mind and body slow down. And that short rest will be the thing that helps you propel yourself forward. Now, I can almost hear people saying that sometimes there simply isn't the time for a break. And sometimes there isn't. Keeping in mind that that is very, very rare. But in those instances, talk to your team, tell them what you're feeling and tell them what you're experiencing. This is not something to be afraid of, because the odds are that if you are having these feelings, they are also very, very likely experiencing them as well. And this all brings me to the final point of this episode. And that is more of a reminder of the power of influence we have as leaders, your reactions to threats will be noticed and modeled by your team. I'll say this again to emphasize the importance of this. Your reactions to threats will be noticed and modeled by your team. Your team is looking to you for guidance and control under fire. I'm not suggesting you can't have reactions to stress, but your team can feel when you're off. And if you are, tell them, they will respect the honesty and they will be more open to the times when the stress levels need to be ramped up. Now, do you remember way back in the beginning of this episode, when I asked you to write down a potential story or where you as a leader experienced fear, as I read a passage about fear from Margaret Wheatley, (2010), I'd like to offer that you consider your example and see how and if any of these points could have helped you manage your fear to help you get the results that you wanted. Fear, by Margaret Wheatley,"Fear is just a part of human life. It's so common that every great spiritual tradition includes the injunction, "Be Not Afraid." If fear is the fundamental to being human, we can expect that we'll feel afraid at times, perhaps even frequently. Yet when fear appears, we don't have to worry that we failed, or take it as a sign that we're not as good as other people. In fact, we're just like other people. Fear is simply evidence that we're human. What's important to decide, is what we do with our fear. We can withdraw, flee, distract or numb ourselves. Or we can acknowledge that we're scared and stay right here. We can stay where we are and bravely investigate our fear. We can move toward it, curious about it. We can even interview it. What does it feel like? What color is it? Does it have texture, size or personality? What's important is to question the fear itself. We're not asking ourselves why we feel afraid, which is our usual inquiry. We just want to know more about this seemingly frightful creature that showed up inside of us. Our investigation moves us closer and closer and the fear begins to change. Paradoxically, the more we engage directly with it, the less fearful it becomes. It is our curiosity that transforms fear. Most often it dissolves into energy that we can work with. And all because we were willing to develop a relationship with what at first appeared to be frightening." Well, that's a wrap from the front. In this episode, we learned that fearlessness is not real. Rather, we learned how to understand fear, how it can control us, and how we can harness this fear to turn it into an energy so that we can control our own narrative. A detailed list of all quoted articles and authors can be found in the show notes. And as always, if you liked what you heard, or if you have an idea for an episode, please leave comments in any of the links in the show notes. As an added bonus, if I use your topic for an episode, I'll invite you to join me during the recording session and be a guest on the show. I'm excited to hear from you all. Thanks for tuning in. And we'll see you next time.
The Narrator:Never miss an episode by following us on all of your favorite feeds. While you're there, please consider leaving an episode review and let us know what topics you would like to hear about. Be sure to join us next week with your host Simon Kardynal for another episode of Trench
Leadership:A Podcast From the Front, produced by iglen studios music provided by Ashamaluev music.