Hello, homemakers and welcome to The Art of home podcast where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong. I'm your host Allison Weeks. I'm a wife, a mom to four grown kids and I've been practicing the art of home for 30 years. Welcome back to all of our regular listeners. If you're a first time listener, thank you for giving us an opportunity to share with you some homemaking inspiration and encouragement. We have a couple of different formats of episodes here at The Art of Home Podcast. We do deep dives into homemaking related subjects and we highlight true stories of home in our Homemaker Portraits. That's where we interview a real life everyday woman about her experience in keeping a home. Since we began this project in the spring of 2021, we've talked to seasoned homemakers; that is, women that have about 25 years or more experience. And soon we will be adding some younger voices to our interview catalog. If you want to be in the know about what is coming in future episodes of The Art of Home, make sure you subscribe to our weekly newsletter. We give you all the scoop about upcoming episodes as well as lots of other fun extras that you will only get through the newsletter. And it's absolutely free. Just go to theartofhomepodcast.com/subscribe or click the link in the show notes below. On today's show, we're talking with seasoned homemaker, Jan Grelle. She has such a sweet spirit. And she has spent decades pursuing God through home, family, loss, ministry and so much more. She has a wealth of wisdom and I know you will be drawn in and impacted by her. So whether you're cleaning out the fireplace or trimming your houseplants. I hope you enjoy Jan's story of home. Alright, I'm here with my friend, Jan Grelle. And Jan, before we go back to the beginning of your story of homemaking, why don't you just tell us a little bit about who you are today?
Jan Grelle:Well, I'm just an ordinary girl walking out her faith. My most enduring names are wife, mother, and of course, Mimi. And Oh how I love the opportunity to share what the Lord has done in the life of this ordinary girl.
Allison:So your Mimi to three, correct?
Jan Grelle:Yes, I am.
Allison:Okay. Love that. So let's go back to the beginning of your story. When did you first become a homemaker?
Jan Grelle:Well, I got married when I was 18. I had just graduated high school, and thought I knew everything. We were highschool sweethearts, but he was 21 and already in college. And I wanted everything to be perfect. But that only leads to frustration. But looking back, I am most grateful for my heritage of faith, passed down from my grandparents, and all their prayers on my behalf and my parents for always taking us to Sunday school and church on Sunday mornings, and then Sunday night youth group. And then Wednesday night activities. And that is just, you know, it's just precious to me now. Because, you know, I feel like I grew some deep roots there that would benefit me later in life. Because we had no way of knowing how God would test our faith along the way.
Allison:Did you appreciate those deep roots when you were newly married? 18 right out of high school and thought you knew everything.
Jan Grelle:I think I didn't have the full reality. I was always grateful because I want I desired the same thing for my home. Yeah. Okay. So at that level, yeah. But then as you get older and gain some wisdom. You, you you, you have the ability to really cherish that more.
Allison:For sure. Yeah, I agree with that. So did you have any skills when you became a homemaker?
Jan Grelle:Oh, my gracious, no formal training. Okay. Everything I knew I learned from my mother and my grandmother's while I reap the harvest of yummy food. I didn't actually do the cooking at home. But I observed it being prepared except for making cookies on Saturdays. And everything was homemade. From fried chicken to red beans and cornbread. They can they made jelly. They made pies and cobblers homemade ice cream, and they sewed in my grandmother's made quilts. Oh wow. So yeah, wow. The laundry was washed and hung out to dry. Clothes were starched rolled and put in the freezer,
Allison:Wait, the freezer?
Jan Grelle:I don't know why but they did. They rolled it. My mother rolled it and put in the freezer. Oh my goodness, what is the starch and then they eventually took it out and ironed it.
Allison:Oh, wow.
Jan Grelle:I wish I had thought to ask that question. But if I did,
Allison:I've heard of putting items in the freezer to kill potential bugs that might be in your clothing or your
Jan Grelle:No, I mean, they just washed, it was just to make them I think look crisp and fresh.
Allison:That's so interesting.
Jan Grelle:Isn't it interesting? Because they didn't have cleaners back then. But that's what we did. And I remember, you know, hanging out clothes and bringing in clothes. Cuz we didn't have a dryer. No, in early years of my life, and wow, I remember my grandmother's wringer washing machine, well she first used to scrub board. Wow. I'm ancient. And then, you know, she had a shed, you know, they had chickens and a garden. And then she had a shed I remember we used as kids play with her wringer washer, now that was so cool. You know, that's what's missing today. Your imagination. Going outside and in, you know, just imagining some story for yourself and acting it out. And that's, I just feel like with technology, sometimes the kids are missing that. Oh, for sure. So, you know, I remember going out and collecting fireflies and you know, all that fun stuff. That's yeah, just so precious. Oh, we love the outdoors. So.
Allison:So I'm imagining the way you're telling this story that you had your grandmother's close by when you're growing up? They were near neighbors or within the same community?
Jan Grelle:We did.
Allison:Okay, that's rare nowadays, too.
Jan Grelle:It is I know. Yes. And I'm so thankful to be near my family now as well.
Allison:So yeah, you're literally right next door.
Jan Grelle:Exactly. So my grands can come and go and I can invest in their lives. And you know, I just I can hear their heart and I can share mine. And yeah, it's just precious. That's really, I'm glad to see them actually growing and maturing and what God's doing with their life.
Allison:Yeah. Now you said You didn't participate much in the preparation of the yummy food, except for Saturday cookie baking. What was that?
Jan Grelle:Oh, well, my favorite thing to make was tea cakes.
Allison:Really? Like a short bread?
Jan Grelle:Yes. And that's most the time sometimes chocolate chip, or sugar cookies, but I love the little tea cakes. They you know, tea cakes aren't real sweet. But I just thought that was the greatest thing. I felt like I was Suzy homemaker. That sounds fun. Yeah.
Allison:So what was your steepest learning curve as far as the skills of homemaking?
Jan Grelle:I would say meal planning and menus, making menus for the week and staying in our limited budget. Oh, yeah, that was a big challenge. You know, back then I had to really count what I was putting in my grocery cart. And so I would write out a to do list. It's an old school practice. But I still make those handwritten list. I learned to think ahead and be disciplined in my planning. Even in early marriage, we loved having my husband's basketball friends over for dinner. And two of them were actually playing in college. And they all played together in high school, but I would make and we're still close friends with them. And I would make like a five pound bag of mashed potatoes, chicken, veggies, all the trimming the rolls and dessert. And nothing would be left. Oh, wow. So I thought well, they were either really hungry or maybe it actually tasted good. You know, it was just so much fun. Because to hear the fun and the laughter that yeah, it was just so much fun. And we felt so privileged to still have a connection with them.
Allison:Yeah, that's really cool. I can't say that after that many years. I'm still connected to people. Yeah. Well, so you said you struggled with meal planning? Well, what was it that sort of helped you overcome that obstacle where you felt like you got some mastery over that?
Jan Grelle:Trial and error. Yeah, and, you know, learning what my husband likes to eat. And timing, preparation of everything. Because like I say, you know, in early marriage, we were both working and going to school, so you know, and you'd be exhausted. So I didn't want to have to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. But yeah, it was just kind of trial and error and we just kind of made our way
Allison:Was it more challenging once children came into the picture? Or?
Jan Grelle:No, I think it was easier because I felt maybe a little more confident in myself and kind of knew you know, what was easiest and invest and I still have my favorite recipes that I feel like I've mastered. So, you know, not like my mom could go into she could serve 100 People not blinking. And she can make anything candies and in you know, those popcorn balls with the Kayro. So I really didn't inherit that skill. But I learned what I could do and what works best for our family.
Allison:So yeah, well, that's good. Yeah, that's what we all need to do. We need to adapt to what works for us. So okay, good. Well, let's talk about balance a little bit. Did you ever work outside of the home?
Jan Grelle:Um, well, first of all, I like to say I love being married. And I love the challenges that came with it. It was all about navigating that newness of wife and homemaker. And so we all have to kind of find our balance. But I learned that marriage was more than just being a happy couple. early on. So it was a challenge to accomplish the work that needed to be done with any efficiency. So because remember, I wanted to be perfect. So, but again, it was trial and error, but in and yes, in early marriage, we both worked and went to classes, and our biggest challenge was only having one car. Oh, so we had to balance our schedules. So that was, you know, but I think it helped that we were both task oriented and driven to finish what we start. And somehow we just managed that was just part of our life. Yeah. My husband eventually started his own business, home remodeler and renovations, before Chip and Joanna Gaines. And we also gained a second vehicle, which made errands so much easier. Oh, yeah. And then at 22, we had our first baby and eventually bought our first home. And we purposely wanted our home to be God centered. And I also knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom when we started our family. And I was able to do that. So you know, home was my happy place. We also knew that part of the joy in our journey would be fellowship with friends. So that's always been important to us. We thank God for the friends who walked beside us, and we thanked him for the ones yet to come. We were active in our small church, and loved working with the youth. But then one day, my husband came home and announced that God was calling us into God was calling us in full time Christian camping. Wow. I said, yay. But in my mind, I'm going Lord, we don't know anything about Christian camping. Except that we went growing up. Yeah, it was exciting. But you know, we took that seriously. We took it to heart. We put our house on the market, our first new home, we hadn't been in very long. And we put it on the market waiting for his direction. So we found a house to lease and signed a one year lease. And to the day our lease was up we were headed to our new home in Tyler, Texas ,to Pine Cove conference center. Such wonderful place. Yes.
Allison:So you're a few years into your marriage. You are already had your oldest at this point. When you went up to work at Pine Cove?
Jan Grelle:Yes, we did. She was three years old.
Allison:Okay. All right. Okay, well, I'm interested.
Jan Grelle:We were told we could have any more children after
Allison:her. That was it. Okay. Okay. So let's talk a little bit about scheduling and stuff like that.
Jan Grelle:Well, I knew to be productive. I needed a plan. Okay. Like I say, I make lists. And but it's when I realized that wouldn't make a good lazy person. Because I can't say something that needs to be done and not do it. Right. And I went to my friend's little boys used to tell her all the time says I can't want to. And I thought, well, if we have that attitude, then then then you'd have to be content with less Jan. Yeah. And so that was always in my mind in that earlier do that, you know, I don't want to settle for less than I want to experience all God has, for me and for us.
Allison:And so you felt like that was what motivated you to get, kind of get your act together and, and have a vision for where your home was going to go and let that inform how you how you were gonna run your days and your kind of goals y'all were gonna set
Jan Grelle:it definitely made an impact. I mean, you know, I was still very young and you know, haven't hadn't lived much life still. But, you know, I was seeking God. I think that made the big difference for me
Allison:Was it hard for you to continue to seek after him Once you you've made this big move to Pine Cove, maybe that's where you're going to talk about the other that what happened with the Bible study. But one of the one of the questions that I've gotten from some of the listeners is, the a lot of them have little children at home, and they're running their homes, and they know they need to keep the priorities in order. You know, the Lord has to come first. But gosh, how do you do that when the demands are just so loud and incessant?
Jan Grelle:Well, you know, some days, we don't get it all done some days we fail. And I'd have to tell myself, it's okay. Yeah. Because, you know, I can never be perfect. Although that was my desire. I knew that, that that I could always turn to the one who was perfect. Yeah. And he could find peace and comfort. So yeah. I think, you know, as believers, we see God in everything. And we, you know, our desire is to grow with the love He's given us and reach out to others. And, and I learned somewhere along the way that you know, I wanted to be wise in the Lord, in the only way to do that was in Bible study in reading and searching my Bible, and then I'm a Bible teacher, how I know I'm a Bible teacher, when I study, I can't wait to share with other people what God has shown me through His Word. And so I get real excited about that.
Allison:That's cool. Well, what about expectations and homemaking? When you became that, that homemaker and maybe the first year a couple of years, how well did the day to day realities match up? How you might have thought it was going to look?
Jan Grelle:Um, well, this is where I learned to be flexible. Because we make our plans, right, and have an idea of all we've hoped for. But then life happens. I always thought a home was filled with intimacy, joy and a little bit of heaven. And it is, but can also come with sorrow, despair and heartache. So what about the reality of our struggles? I knew in my heart, I must choose every day to let my Heavenly Father ease my struggles for good. But I didn't understand the time just how that should work.
Allison:So now, did you face some special challenges in your homemaking journey? And if so, how did you how did you meet those challenges? How did you respond and then how did you grow through them?
Jan Grelle:Well, I am a two time cancer survivor. But nothing compares to the loss of our youngest daughter, everything pales to that. But one day, we got a call from a large church in Houston, Houston First Baptist Church, offering my husband and I a position. We had a pastor friend there and the business administrator at the time. We never thought of leaving Camping Ministry or thinking we would ever live in Houston. But then God gave us a new ministry. He provided a beautiful home to raise our two girls. We encourage them to bring their friends to our house they called us Mr. G and Miss G. They often teased us about being June and Ward like in Leave Leave It to Beaver. I said, guys, I do not vacuum with my pearls on. So they were just so precious. You know, you can be a mom to other children besides your own and when they're in your home, you can love on them and you can encourage them and be a part of their life and we just had a blast, you know they went on on vacations with us, you know we we, you know we went to the lake with them all the time. They waterskiing jet ski, we just, you know, variances as much fun with them as possible. So that is just you know, precious too my husband and I but our home was also we're friends and neighbors gathered. Where family came for weekends. We shared meals and stories. Because Home is where love supposed to live. But one day our youngest daughter call from school and she said she wasn't feeling good. And as began our salad September, she was admitted to MD Anderson, and she couldn't wait to go back home. That was one of the last thing she said. And I love you mom. She never made it back to our earthly home. It was September of 1994. She was 17, a senior in high school and plans for college. But heaven was her ultimate Homegoing or final destination. Did you know The Bible speaks of three homes, family, church in heaven. And praise God that the Bible says he is close to the brokenhearted. End, he has a plan to restore our lives. This was a pivotal moment in our lives. Our lives were shattered and broken into a million pieces. Someone asked us along the way what we felt was stolen from us. Easy answer it was laughter But God's love runs deep and takes us to another level of understanding through loss. Because I believe he desires to impact our lives in such a way that he imparts to us a richer sense of his presence. Because Speaking for myself, he was my only link to wholeness, and I knew it. And I thought you know what, Satan, you're not gonna get anything else from this family. I said, I'm gonna fight. It was, I see it, in retrospect is that three year battle of just climbing my way up a mountain very slowly. Yeah, but I thought you're not getting my marriage. 85% of marriages end after the loss of a child and I knew that. So it was hard work. It but it was everything to us. Home was everything to us and serving God and bringing him glory was everything. So that spurred us on. The journey in grief is long, is heart wrenching, it's soul searching. And it's never ending. The pain does soften. But you never forget those that you've loved. And, and, you know, I think losing a child is hard because it's out of the normal range of life. You know, you're not supposed to outlive your children. But it happens because life is fragile. And then so we have to learn what would be pleasing to God and how to handle that. And talk about that a little more later. But I tell other sojourners, that the value in pain is to reach out to help others that we can learn to dance in the rain and laugh again. And we'll talk more about that in a minute.
Allison:Okay, because I'm curious to hear how just a little bit about how your family processed through and, you know, maybe if someone's listening that's dealing with grief. And, and their marriage is struggling under the weight of that, you know, what, what advice would you offer that person? Like you said, You were you were determined to not allow the enemy to take your marriage.
Jan Grelle:Exactly. Yeah. And so it was a battle. Yeah. You know, we've Christians fight about the unseen battle. But we know that that that God has already won, but but the war was raging,too
Allison:What did you do?
Jan Grelle:Well, you know, you can, I'm gonna talk about that later. But we have choices. It's all about the choices we make. Yeah. I said, you know, and I thought, well, I don't want to talk to anybody. Not a counselor, unless they've lost a child. Because they would have they can give you some book. Yeah, you know, knowledge. And maybe I'm sure that's really good. But, but thank God send into our life this precious lady we were on staff at Houston Baptist, but we knew a lot of people at Second Baptist and someone invited us to a grief group there. And but it was three years before we were able to go. But then God put this precious lady in our life, he was leading this grief group, who had lost three of her four children. I thought, okay, I can listen to her. She'll understand the depth of the pain here. Oh, my Lord, she was she was my lifeline. God threw me a lifeline. And, for example. We had, we would have plans to meet somewhere and just get coffee or something and talk and there were many times I would, I knew exactly where I was going. And I'd be going. And I miss return over time, because you're so preoccupied, you can't concentrate long enough to make that exit. And so I'd call her and say, I'm sorry, I just can't make an I be, you know, crying my eyes out. And I told her, she said, she said, It's okay. We'll just do it another day. So, you know, I knew God loved us any. I knew we still had a plan for our lives. But it was just a, you know, you just take a step by step and Gene get to day to day and then week to week and month. It was a long process. Yeah. But you find your way when life is dark, and everything seems hopeless. You find your way, in Christ, and we were trusting him to lead us and integral was it's a growing time, and you real hard searching time. And it was hard. It was it was just so hard. Everything seems so dark and hopeless. Except for that one glimmer of light that we knew it. And we knew where that came from. Yeah, home. Yeah, our ultimate home. So very precious to us.
Allison:So let's, we're gonna revisit this as we continue to hear the rest of your story. And I want to talk a little bit about hospitality. Because you're, you've already alluded to how important it was to your family, to show hospitality to other people. And one of the ways I like to present hospitality in these in these portraits is, we look at it from two angles, we look at it from the fact that the third, the first people we show hospitality to are those who live in these four walls with us. We make one another feel welcome. We make one another feel like we belong in this place that we call home. So can you think of some ways that you and your family did that for one another?
Jan Grelle:Yes. I have always had a heart or heart just hospitality. I love people. Well, when we go out, I got my granddaughter, my daughter, and we're checking out and and I'm having a personal conversation with your one of those VPS. And, oh, how are you doing? How's your mother? How's your dad? And they just look at me. She goes, and we'll walk off. And Abby will say, me, me, you're so social. Well, I care about people. And I want to hear their heart. And then they're asking me, oh, well, how are you? And, you know, if you just, you know, if you just try to open a door, and God causes that spark. It's such a blessing when you walk away. And, you know, they've either given me a word of encouragement, or I was able to give them a word that is the greatest high you can ever be on. Yeah. So you know, I don't want to be anywhere outside of his grace, and peace. So that's about that. And but we were also intentional about creating an atmosphere of acceptance. Where we could share the ups and downs of life is where we laughed and cried, shared meals and chores. We had traditions for birthdays and holidays. We wanted our girls to know we love them, that we were interested in their feelings and spend time with them. We wanted them to know right from wrong.
Allison:How would you say that creating an atmosphere of acceptance. Was that what what do you mean by that?
Jan Grelle:open communication, like, I don't care how bad it is, you can come and talk to me about it. So I didn't want them to think if they made a mistake they had to hide or they couldn't talk to us about it.
Allison:Yeah. Because that doesn't mean you're going to necessarily approve of their behavior. But they can come to you to talk through it without fear of retaliation.
Jan Grelle:Because children, I mean, it's up and down. You know, life is not perfect, right? Life can get ugly, and, and we're all sinners. And we all make mistakes. And we wanted them to know that, that we've also made mistakes. Yeah. But we serve a God who loves us, bigger than our mistakes, and he cares. And so that's what we wanted them to know. And like, you know, my family did for us. We went to church, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday, we went we were at the church all the time. And, you know, you just pray that, that your children's hearts will stay open, and someone is pouring something. Yeah, you know, valuable in their life. And in that takes roots. I really believe that. So not that our children can't make mistakes along the way. But it's just important. They know we still love them and that God loves them even more. Yeah. Because because we all make mistakes. Right?
Allison:That's a good word. But what about hospitality to people outside of your fame?
Jan Grelle:Well, we wanted we wanted our girls to know that family was priority. Yeah. But on this other end of it, we also wanted them to know that friendships are also priority. So there were many people around us who would need love, friendship, support and encouragement. And so I think my girls learn to be very sensitive to that. Our home was an open door wherever we lived. Christian camping was an amazing experience. It was the best of times. All the staff, it was a nonprofit camp. And we didn't make a lot of money, but you were just there to serve the Lord needing care. So all the staff lived on campus and housing was provided. Okay, so we shared meals in the dining hall. We first lived in a single wide mobile home, near the stables. And that's where my daughter, my oldest daughter brought home, every stray animal she could find if they it was just the best of times, it was just so great. And we later moved to a small rustic house on the lake with this little screen in porch. We had college students that came in worked in the summer, and they would come over on the weekends, and someone always played the guitar we would seeing, I would make homemade ice cream and cookies and brownies, whatever. And I our girls loved all the attention they gave to them. Oh, I'm sure yeah. And we were so honored to be a part of their lives. Our home has always been a sanctuary for many. And we felt so blessed. We learned that no matter where God leads us to set up home, he meets us there.
Allison:I love that.
Jan Grelle:I love that too.
Allison:Becasue I was gonna ask you, you know you're here you are kind of like nomadic almost, you're moving from this little place to this little place to this little place at the beginning of your marriage. And that's kind of the point in time where you feel like well, I want to have a nest and I want to you know feather my little nest and make it mine but say that again what you just said because I think that's important.
Jan Grelle:Well, we we learned that no matter where God leads us to set up home he meets us there okay in so in life if we just find out where God's working Yeah, we can meet him there. You know, let his as he leaves us and guides us but we have to be connect we have to have that relationship with our Heavenly Father. And it's just it was all I had when I was going through loss. I felt like that and really that's all I ever have. Yeah, but in loss. I was really seeking him with all my heart because I didn't have any answers. But he did.
Allison:Wow. We will get back to Jan story in just a few minutes. Right now. It's time for historical homemaker hints. This is the part of the podcast where we highlight some of the helpful and not so helpful hints doled out to homemakers throughout history. Today's hints come from the art of homemaking in city and country in mansion and cottage by Margaret Sangster published in 1898. Margaret has some helpful suggestions regarding decorative room screens. And essential thing in almost any room is a large screen. This may be plain or showy, made at home covered with wallpaper, creatine or stain, or it may be purchased at a store and may be extremely ornamental. It serves as a partition to shut off anything which you wish to hide from the general view, as in the bedroom, the wash hand basin and its accessories, or it shuts off a draft or keeps off the two great heat of the fire. I agree, Margaret. A screen is a very useful addition to most any room. It can be a beautiful statement piece while also serving a very practical purpose. I am not above salvaging things from my neighbor's curbside trash piles. Once I noticed a large three panels screen made from wooden shutters, I snatched that thing up, took it home and painted it to match my decor. Over the years I put that screen to use all over my house, sometimes as an actual divider, or to hide an unsightly area. Other times just to liven up a bear corner. We no longer have that shutter screen. But when my husband needed to work from home and do video meetings during the lockdowns, we purchased another screen to serve as a neutral backdrop and hide the rest of our bedroom from public view. YouTube and Pinterest will give you tons of ideas for making a screen from the super simple to the more complex design, you can find something to fit your needs. In while we are on the subject of screens, Margaret has a good bit to say about window screens. By all means, see that you have screens ready for every window and if possible screen doors for your kitchen so that the swarms of flies which torment the housekeeper in the summer may not drive you from all your patients. Screens also are a great protection against the venomous little mosquito. You need not be like Josiah Allen's wife and spend your whole life pouncing upon the poor fly who finds its way in. By all means avoid flies if you can. But if you are unfortunate enough to have them, remember, perhaps they are sent to you to discipline you into sweetness of temper and make you less irritable than you would be without them. I'll address the issue of flies in a moment. But first I want to enlighten you regarding Josiah Allen's wife. This is a reference which intrigued me because I had never heard of her before. Josiah Allen's wife was a creation of Marietta Holly, an American humorist who used satire as commentary on politics and society in the late 19th century. She was a successful novelist and a poet, and she was considered one of the most important early female humorist in America. Her most beloved creation was a 10 part series of novels following the travels and married life of Samantha and Josiah Allen. Her writings often focused on themes of prohibition, and women's rights which she effectively delivered by employing humor and satire of Mary at his work. One biographer said quaint grotesque humor and pathetic homeliness of speech were the weapons she used to make known the wrongs of her sex and the evils of the times. Everyone laughs at the absurdities of Josiah Allen's wife, and no one forgets the crushing exposure of fraud and oppression which she makes. I just love the things I learned when I research for these segments. Now, with regard to miss Sangster, his reference about the flies, I am assuming Josiah, his wife was known for having an absurd obsession with reading her environment of flies. No need to obsess screens are a very necessary and practical solution to stop flies from coming into the house. Also, fly paper put up close to your doors, and my personal favorite as well as my husband's a salt gun to quickly and non toxic Lee eradicate these unwanted guests from your home and outdoor space. We'll link all of these things down in the show notes as well as some links to read Josiah Allen's wife stories. These are in the public domain so you can enjoy them for free. Well, that's it for today's historical homemaker hints. Please remember that these hints are for entertainment purposes only. And we leave it up to you the listener to determine the safety and soundness of this advice. Now back to Jan's story. Let's talk a little bit about the seasons of homemaking. Because there are seasons you sometimes think the season you're in is going to last forever. I thought the diaper season would never end with four children. But it did end and here I am an empty nester now, never thought this season would come. But how has your role changed over time as a homemaker?
Jan Grelle:well, we now live next door to our grandchildren and my daughter and her husband. We have a 12 year old and two teenagers. It is such a joy to be able to invest in their lives. I keep a basket of candy in the pantry, and they come over on the weekend and help themselves. But they know whatever happens in Mimi's stays at Mimi's. And we sometimes make cookies. And I make if they have their friends over I make cookies and take to them and their friends. And I like to get to know their friends a little bit. And, you know, I just think that's just precious. Yeah, that that they don't care if their Mimi is talking to their friends.
Allison:that's a sweet Yeah, a sweet season that you're in right now. Yeah,
Jan Grelle:I treasure it.
Allison:That's really great. Well, what about transitions through the season sometimes, you know, we find different transitions are hard, harder for different people. It just depends on the person. What was the hardest transition for you to make?
Jan Grelle:Well, moving was never my favorite thing to do, but necessary. I think the most recent challenge for us was retirement. We had to discover a new normal. And it took time for us to settle in and find our balance. But we love it. You know, as a homemaker, your husband gets up and he goes to work and he has his environment. And I could go up to his office anytime. And he had stopped whatever he was doing and in answer my question, or helped me, yeah, I love that. But when he retired, and he was in my environment.
Allison:I know where this is going,
Jan Grelle:I didn't feel that hospitable. And I didn't like myself. But I thought I had to tell him, I said, Jim, um, you know, as the this is like, my office, and I have a routine. So you know, neither one of us can just sit and do nothing, you know, we just can't. I said, now I'd encourage you to get a hobby, that he knows that he's no longer hunting or golfing. But so just find something you like to do, because I was really worried about him getting depressed as well. Yeah. But But he said, Okay, I get it. I get it. I do I need to. So it was just a challenge for me and for him. But you know, now and then once we found our place again, it's like, and I think for men and women, too, it's attached to our self esteem, self esteem, that work environment. Yeah. You know, and whatever you're doing, that's part of who you are. So I think he's struggled with that. But he's doing good now.
Allison:Yeah, it's a little different when when they're there all day long.
Jan Grelle:Yes. Yeah. And I thought, Oh, my, you know, it's
Allison:interesting, though, that you bring that up, because a lot of people who are not in your stage of life or my stage of life have actually had to deal with this over the last couple of years. Now, everybody's working from home. Yes. So, you know, I love the fact that you said, you need to get a hobby. But are there any other tips that maybe you could offer?
Jan Grelle:And maybe it would, I don't think I really I really said to him was maybe you should consider a hobby. Because I didn't want to be that wife trying to tell him what to do. Yeah, but But thankfully has found his hobby now. It's something he really enjoys doing. And God blessed us with a workshop for him to do that. He likes to build anything, yeah, with his hands and use his tools. And it's fun to watch and I'll go out, you know, I'll take him lunch or wolves, he'll take a break, we'll sit and talk for a while and but, you know, we treasure that too, that we have the freedom to just take a break when we want and you know, although my life is very busy outside of the home, and really rarely home with with other activities I'm doing so it just took time to settle in here, you know?
Allison:Yeah. And well, and you, you, you were brave enough to have the conversation to say, Okay, let's communicate about this and explain that. Like, I love how you said it. Like, this is like my office, you know, and I do have a routine here not to be rigid about the routine and say you cannot interrupt my routine No, but to just have that communication with one another. Exactly.
Jan Grelle:That's key, don't you think? To marriage? And to relationships even with our women friends that God so graciously gives us and yeah, I think that's just something we should cherish.
Allison:Yeah. What does homemaking look? Like right now, in the season that you're in? You've already talked a little bit about how you, you and your husband have this this nice partnership here with the way you you run your days. But what does it look like generally to be a homemaker for you today? And then this is kind of a two part question. How are you still challenging yourself to grow in certain areas of homemaking?
Jan Grelle:Yeah, that's a, that's a lot. But well, we now have an adult daughter, and a wonderful son in law, And my daughter and I are very close. But I had to retrain my brain to be a better listener, and only give advice when needed or asked. So sometimes I have to just say, Okay, I'll just zip it. walk away, and you know, make the motion and my daughter, we kind of chuckle but it, it just, it just sets a better atmosphere. And I don't want to overstep my boundaries. And I need to respect that they are now adults making their own choices. And just like we did, so, you know, but is moms and grandmothers, you just want to, to help. But I'm overstepping my bounds when I do that. And so I think, you know, I've learned a lot through that, and that my daughter still asked me my opinion, many times, and I'm happy to give it but I know when to, to stay in my boundary lines. So so it's important, we need to respect each other's boundary lines, and they do the same for us. So yeah, that's good.
Allison:That's really good advice. That's a relational skill that we all need to practice and grow in. Exactly. Oh, sure. Sure. Because that impacts every area of life in every area of home,
Jan Grelle:and everything we do and say is an impact to our grandchildren to. What are they seeing?
Allison:especially with y'all, they're literally right outside your door, right?
Jan Grelle:Yes, yes, a few steps away. And, you know, I want them to see that we can work out any issues and still love each other. Yeah. And that we can, we're overcomers we can overcome these issues and be better for it. And it's okay, life goes on, we still love you, we could still get the hugs and because that's just life. It's just, I think it's a normal phase of life. But it's, it's how we approach it is important.
Allison:I'm going to ask you a question that wasn't on here. So I'm gonna throw you for a loop here. And we may or we may include it, we may not. But it's a question that's been rolling around in my head, as maybe putting it in my list here, because you mentioned that you went to college. So you do have some higher education. And I want to start sort of addressing an elephant in the room when we had the conversation about being an being homemaker and the choice that you made to be a full time homemaker. Oftentimes, you hear from critics. Well, you just wasted your education by making that choice. How would you answer someone who said that, where you're at now, you're you're far enough along in the game? To have a perspective.
Jan Grelle:I just went to a community college. But still, yes. But anything God calls us to is not wasted. And so you know, whatever, you know, whether you've been to college or not, if God calls you to be a stay at home, mom and being a homemaker, you can use everything you've learned. You can use every skill of life you've learned from being in the world, and everything else we need to know is in the Bible. So in God's economy, nothing's wasted. Yeah, so yeah, and I just think everything you've done is important to God. If everything, whether it's good or bad, it's important to him and he loves us, no matter what.
Allison:Okay, thanks for being my guinea pig. I love it. Well, how are you still passing on or how? Let me rephrase that. How are you intentionally passing on what you've learned over the years to those that are coming behind you?
Jan Grelle:Well, after loss, I wondered if God could ever use me again. In all my brokenness, I wonder if I could ever feel whole again. And I wondered if that heaviness in my heart would ever ease up? Yeah, it was physically painful. But everybody knows, if you have lost your way, you need a compass. But then my daughter gave me a new Bible with my name inscribed on the front, along with the verse, Revelation 21, four through six, is where I lived and learned to breathe again. It's actually falling apart. I've had to retire it, but you can see, I can see how it's been lived in. Yeah. And that was my link to wholeness in any other question of life, and I solely depended on it for at the time, well, let me just say this. Someone said to me one time not to go see a certain movie, that it was too sad. And I thought to myself, I have mastered sadness. But as soon as I said it, I haven't mastered anything. But I know the one who has Jesus mastered sadness, and I can learn from him. So I sought him with my whole heart. Because otherwise, I felt like I just go jump off a cliff, which does is not an answer to anything. And it's not an end to anything. Yeah. So God's desire is for us to live and find our way. So I earnestly sought him in, he is faithful. I read over 300 books in a three year span. Wow, I would stay up at night and listen to your reflections on TV, which is still on. It's a beautiful scenery, and it flashed scripture verses and I journaled, I wrote every scripture and meditated on it. And what I'm sharing right now, is what I've learned all along the way. You know, he gives richness to life. And he has an answer. For all our questions. The question is, are we going to turn to Him? Are we going to go our own way? My joy had been buried beneath the load. But I remember that day. Because as believers, you know that joy is in our heart, but mine had been stuffed down and buried. But I remember the day it came bubbling back up. I was just walking out of a mall, just minding my own business going to my car, and it was, God did something for me, I couldn't do for myself, I felt such deep. I wanted to go hug everybody. And I went to my car, just crying my heart out and I call my husband, I call my daughter and I said, Guess what God has done for me. I will cherish it forever. It's and he desires that for everybody. You know, but he said to me that day, I am is enough. And then I remembered Psalm 30. And five, it says, weeping may endure for a night. but joy cometh in the morning. And we actually had that hanging on our wall. It's I need to hang it back up. But it's so precious to me. I made myself after some time of healing of acid, Lord, what do you want me to do? And he led me to lead a single moms class. And I thought, Lord, I'm so thankful I haven't. I haven't experienced divorce in my life. But what uh, how I can relate to them is pain. Because pain is universal. But it's also very personable. I thought we can connect because I know it just must be so painful. You know, it's like the death of a marriage. So I, I had to tell myself, Jane, you can do this, she can do this because God's calling you to it. You can do this. So at this time I went to our pastor and he was so precious and he's he encouraged me and he, he said, Yes, just tell me what you want. And he said, You can you can use whatever resources you want. We'll help you and I still have the note he wrote to me, it was just such an encouragement for me, I want to be that encouragement for other people. But I taught Bible for 16 years to these single moms. And solo moms, the solo moms who were married in their husbands were gone a lot or traveled. It was a place for them to connect as well. And then eventually, married ladies wanted to come, we just opened the door, and welcome all in. I did all of this, you know, where we lived at our church. And before we move to the help country, it's so precious to me. And I'm still connected to them. We text we call my ministry partner. She, she was a godsend. She just had a heart for the Lord and she loved on these ladies. When you share a ministry like that, that's deep. It's like extended family. And you never forget that kind of love and that I tell my grandchild, there is no greater high than to serve the Lord with gladness and see him work. And so that was very precious to me. And I would tell them, there are no perfect parents. And there's no perfect children. But we can learn from our Heavenly Father. I think he wants to speak to us in the silence of our heart. Sometimes we get so busy and distracted by all the noise. We need to stop and see. That's what happened to us in loss. It caused us to stop you know, in just sits, sit in his presence and be still where we could actually hear from him. In the Bible says when he starts he will finish. His door is always open for the weary traveler. And I will encourage anyone out there who's hurting to run to him. His arms are always open. And he's saying come home
Allison:thank you for sharing that. Thank you. Sounds like that was an amazing ministry to be a part of
Jan Grelle:it was it's just I just love them so much. I miss them so much. But enjoying my new Bible study here and all the ladies I just, I love y'all so much. And and you welcomed me with open arms and it's just so precious to me.
Allison:Well, we're glad to have you. Just for the audience, Jan and I are in the Bible study group together.
Jan Grelle:We are and it's such a joy it like I say, um, and you know, when you have that intimacy with women, and you're sharing your lives and your heart and all God has for us, God make something beautiful out of that. Yeah, it really is a treasure
Allison:and it's well worth the effort that it might take you to get a get out there.
Jan Grelle:Absolutely. I agree. Yeah, it's well worth it. Absolutely.
Allison:Well, let's go into a time of rapid fire. Quick answer, okay about the subject of homemaking tasks, okay, this is just for fun. And you can give me a quick answer or you can tell me story if you would like Oh, all right. Okay, so one task that you love.
Jan Grelle:Um, well my husband builds porch swings. And so I enjoy the benefit from that. I love a porch swing in the sounds of a summer night that is just a precious time when you can hear all of God's creation and all of the little critters and see the stars and you know, that's just a very calming place for me to be
Allison:Yeah, I love how you answer that question, Jan.
Jan Grelle:Thank you for swinging I had Yeah,
Allison:I mean it's a part of of having a home you know not everybody can have a porch swing in their home but if you can I highly recommend it I've had I've had one in the past and I miss it so much was left it back in Florida but if you can just have a place in isn't necessarily have to be a porch swing
Jan Grelle:It could be anywhere. But you know what, it's something about that environment that that brings that peace and calm and it can cause you to really relax and open up.
Allison:Okay, well, we all have our homemaking tasks that just we just dread doing and we put it off. What's a homemaking task that you, hate is a strong word, or maybe you just want to say you strongly dislike it.
Jan Grelle:Well, homemaking tasks would be decluttering Oh, yeah, that's just not fun. But because I'm outdoors also thought about how much I hate poison ivy. Oh. So oh my gosh, did
Allison:you ever have did your girls ever get into poison ivy?
Jan Grelle:I did. And my dad forewarned me. My grandfather had pecan orchard. And we love because and to this day, we still go pick up pecans every fall when my mother was living we took care of my mom for 16 years. And we would take her out as long as we could and she would watch us pick it up pecans and she would shell them and clean them. She had a brush. Those pecans were the cleanest you could have ever eaten. And and so we still do that my husband just just did go buy some pecans and HE shells them and I thought that is a good day. Oh, good thing. Are I bake with them? Okay, so yeah, it but my dad told me one year we went to pick pecans. He said not don't go under that tree over there has got poison ivy. Oh, okay. So I was a pretty mischievous little child. And I
Allison:Oh, my. How old were you? was taking piano lessons. And I thought, I know what I'll just put it on my fingers and then I won't have to practice my piano. Is that not brilliant? Only when I got it. It was everywhere. And my dad knew what I did. And he came in he goes, Do you think that was worth it? No, sir. This terrible.
Jan Grelle:Well, I was I was probably I was Elementary. Oh, I was like 10 or somebody that Yes. That wasn't funny at the time. But listen, I'm gonna listen to my dad.
Allison:Okay, well, how about a homemaking task that grew on you that you grew to enjoy?
Jan Grelle:Well, as far as homemaking, you know, we're task oriented. So I learned I grew to love interruptions. Because you know, being task oriented, you don't want to stop until you get finished. But I loved interuptions, because I learned that it was more important to be available in that moment than to finish what I had started. Because I can always come back to that, but you can never get back that moment.
Allison:Oh, that's so good. Yeah, that's Thank you for saying that. We all need to hear that.
Jan Grelle:Yeah. Well, it took years to, you know, to glean from life
Allison:from the experience of having having made the wrong choice. Yeah,
Jan Grelle:exactly. Yeah. Oh, I'm so guilty of wrong choices. So
Allison:well, what about your worst home making fail?
Jan Grelle:Well, I so, I wanted to be like my mom, just, you know, just go in and cooking was no effort. And it was like I say a trial and error, but I wanted to make her lemon meringue pie. And so I didn't have any real lemons. Oh, so I use lemon extract. That makes sense to me when I was young.
Allison:Oh, lemon extract?
Jan Grelle:Yeah, I do not recommend it. My parents came to dinner that night. And my dad was saying Can I have another cup of pie? He was so my dad was so funny. And sure dad he was he wanted me not to feel bad, but I think he really liked it. So that is
Allison:I'm just trying to figure out how did you even do that? Did you just put a little extract in water or what?
Jan Grelle:Well no, I think it called for like I forget exactly. The measurements but however however much real lemon it called for, I put the same amount of lemon extract. I mean, it could have been a fourth cup. I don't know it was it was a lot but it never firmed up it never
Allison:Yeah, I would think not because that's there's a lot of alcohol in extract that would keep it for jelling.
Jan Grelle:Exactly. Well, I learned that the hard way but but I did Master eventually master the lemon pie, but that I'll never forget that. It's just like the first time I made red beans, which we ate a lot. I didn't. I forgot to pick through them and get all the rocks. Oh, no. Yeah, that was pretty tragic to my husband still laughs about it. Well, we had to throw it all out. I'll just say that. I love making them now. The right way.
Allison:All right. What about a memorable homemaking achievement?
Jan Grelle:Well, when we were at Pine Cove, a good friend there. We would go hunting antiques we would find antiques and refurbishing them. I was so proud of myself. That was something my mother didn't do. Or my grandmother. So I thought I saw this a trailblazer. Yeah, look, I know, Mom, you know, and they would come over go. Oh, that's so nice. That's Thank you. Thank you. And I tell him what I did and, and they were also very supportive. But it was it was a lot of fun. And part of the fun was the hunt. And, you know, my husband was a hunter and I just tried to explain that shopping experience it look. It's like, if you went out on a hunting trip, you're gonna look for that perfect.
Allison:Buck. Yeah. Whatever your
Jan Grelle:a deer or a buck I don't know, Turkey, whatever. Whatever you're hunting, you're looking for just the right one, right? I said, it's the same with me. When I'm out shopping. I'm looking for the perfect one in my price range. And then the thrill is going in for the kill. And then you bring it home, and you make something shiny and beautiful out of what was old and maybe thrown away.
Allison:Yeah, that's one of my favorite things to do as well. Okay, how about your top three homemaking tips?
Jan Grelle:Well, I when you do your laundry, you can actually put baking soda in with your whites. To them brighter really? Or even peroxide in where you put them soap. Hmm. But here's one thing I really really love is you can take baking soda and mix it with some peroxide and make a little paste and then actually spotclean your whites with it. It it works. I didn't know that. Yes. It's wonderful. Cool. Yes, it is the coolest thing because I have used that many times. That's good. It's good to know, because your whites if you if you take your whites to the cleaners after a while they get real dingy, yes. But if you're washing them at home, that's one way you can keep them bright.
Allison:So if you're putting it in the washing machine, if like you're doing a load of towels or something, you know, how much would you put in? You think
Jan Grelle:you know what it's depending on how big your load I mean, you could put like, I don't know, a tablespoon, okay, just you know and kind of see what works for you to do you use the baking soda and the peroxide together in the Washington or the I do one or the Okay, got it. Mostly I just do the backings. But then I'd to make the pace I use a peroxide and
Allison:yeah, good. That's a great tip. Okay. Good. Any other tips?
Jan Grelle:Well, I found a tool. Because I found that I think they're just making lids tighter, and I just can't take it anymore. That's my theory. But I found this tool. It's a looks like a bottle opener, but it's like a thick plastic thing. And you just put it under that lid and kind of gently go around and it pops the seal. Really, it's my lifesaver. And then I can just open so then you're not having to try to use your hands. That would no you're not having to go against like I use
Allison:a little rubber thing. And I have that nowadays because I have a little bit of early osteoarthritis in my hands and I can't I just don't have the grip strength.
Jan Grelle:No, me either. I don't know what happened. But But I found that and one day my husband came in he found it and I said oh just use that. And man he you know He's just like his strength just went like that and he broke it. Oh, no. It's fine. So do to me and you broke it how he felt so bad because you know, he's sad. Just barely lifted. You're
Allison:just so strong. You're just too strong.
Jan Grelle:I don't know where to get another one. And he went out found me two more. He's precious. He felt so bad. So now I have two Okay.
Allison:Well, we're gonna have to find out how you'll have to share a link and we'll put it in the show notes if we can find it. Maybe on
Jan Grelle:it. Okay, when we're done. And so you can everybody can know. It's just Yeah. It makes life easier thing. You know, I'm all about that. Me too.
Allison:Cool. All right. Any other tips before we move on? Well, I
Jan Grelle:have one more.
Allison:Okay, please do share.
Jan Grelle:There's probably a lot of updated things that are simpler, but I like to fill an ice tray. Some people might not know what that is. It's a you know, a little tray where you little slots and I'm just kidding. But you put you fill it with distilled vinegar and lemon rinds. Okay, and then you freeze it and then when your disposal gets stinky, you just drop one
Allison:Oh, that's a good tip. That's fine. I've never I've put lemon rinds down before but I liked that idea and and ice cubes and ice cubes, you're combining that plus vinegar is the best cleaner? Yeah. So great tip.
Jan Grelle:I love that too.
Allison:Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. All right, well, we are going to end our time reflecting on the art of home. Okay, the name of our show. How do you feel like homemaking is an art?
Jan Grelle:Well, I spent a lot of time pondering this. When I think about the art of home, I think about my legacy. Okay, and what is woven in my tapestry. I have a drape hanging in my bathroom, little drape made from a vintage tapestry. But if you look closely, you'll see a generation of women toiling in the field, putting the needs of others above their own interest. You get a sense, they are loyal. Courageous, and they bring value to your home. I want to leave that kind of legacy. In that's a challenge. It's a day to day challenge. But it's also a choice. I read that families are foundational and I think it's it's very important. The what we're building, yeah, my house, my husband's a builder. So I think of foundation. building strong families should be priority. As grandparents and parents, the Scripture tells us to give the next generation a framework for a relationship with God. That's the firmest foundation I know of pray together, do battles together. And growing those deep roots requires a lot of patience. Because live has a lot of ups and downs, the valleys and the peaks. And that's not going to change on this side of heaven. So I just think we need to be intentional and serious about what we say and what we do. Because our children are watching us, my grandchildren are watching me it is important. What comes out of our mouth. Because what comes out of our mouth is what's in our heart. And we all fall short. I do I fall short every day. But at the end of the day. I know my Heavenly Father's waiting to hear from me. I actually say little prayers all day long in the car. And you know, like if I felt like I you know might have said something wrong or uh, you know, and you know it and I say, Oh, Father, forgive me. You know, you just have to live in repentance. That's what I do. I live in repentance and and God gives me a new day. In a column heavenly hugs, when you just know you've been in the presence of the Lord. So that's what I would want to say about the art of homemaking.
Allison:How do you think we can find beauty in the mundane tasks of home making that the cleaning the floor and the changing diapers? And
Jan Grelle:I love this question. Okay. Because I I thought Oh my gracious. It's one of my favorite words.
Allison:Yes, d
Jan Grelle:Yeah, Oh my gracious because you know, think of grace and God, but the repetition of waiting patiently is a challenge. But as believers we know, this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. So whether we toil or dally, choose the responsible path. Whatever we doing, we're to do as to the Lord. So that's always in my mind. Because I just want everyone to know that God cares about our everydayness.
Allison:Yeah. He did enter into our very ordinariness, didn't
Jan Grelle:he? Did he surely thank they praise God he did because we'd all be in trouble.
Allison:I mean, the incarnation is a miracle and miraculous and a mystery but very ordinary. Yeah. He became a human. I know, you know, is he when he did ordinary things and yes,
Jan Grelle:but He had to come as man. Yeah, to save the world. And he gave his life so that we could live. So How precious is that? I mean, that's, that's love
Allison:and love in very ordinary form. Absolutely. What advice would you give to a young homemaker who's listening?
Jan Grelle:Sometimes we have to go through seasons, to get to where we want to be. No matter where God leads us to set up home, he wants to be in our lives. So I would say to them, invite Him in. I've learned that life is hard on a good day. But joy comes in the morning. So wherever our journey in life takes us, the word of God desires to fill our heart with joy. And just by trusting in his ways, it increases our joy because we are at peace with God. I don't want to be anywhere outside of God's peace. It's not a good place to be. It's not healthy. And it makes you sad. If you're a believer, it makes you sad. Because God alone offers the comfort we so long for he is our peace. He's our treasure on Earth. The Bible tells us so. I would say be encouraged today. Whatever season you're in, God offers new beginnings and refreshment for the soul.
Allison:That's a great word. Well, thank you very, very much. And just being so open and sharing your heart with us and your story. I appreciate it.
Jan Grelle:Thank you, Alison. Appreciate what you do so much,
Allison:I love you too. and I love you too. Thanks so much for listening to this homemaker portrait of Jan Grelle. We hope you found encouragement and inspiration to view your work in the home as meaningful, purposeful and sacred. Wherever God calls us to set up home, he will meet us there. As Jan pointed out, God cares about the everydayness of our experience as homemakers. So much so that he entered into our ordinary everydayness when he sent his son as an invitation to find our home in him. No matter what kind of home you find yourself in on Earth, the home you have in Christ is certain, secure, and forever. Thank you so much for listening all the way to the end, you are a trooper. If you found some value from this episode, would you consider giving the show some love and one or more of the following ways. Number one, share the episode with a homemaker that you know who could use some encouragement. Number two, leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening. Number three, you can leave us a tip and our virtual Tip Jar buy me a coffee. There's a link in the show notes or go to buy me a coffee.com/the art of home. Your financial support helps offset the cost of producing this podcast and our free resources. So thank you very much. We have lots of info down in the show notes. Links to all of our social media accounts links to resources mentioned in today's show, a link to our blog where you can get a glimpse into Dan's house. Lots of good stuff down there, so make sure you check it out. That wraps up this episode of The Art of home podcast. We'll be back in two weeks with another homemaker portrait. Until then, keep practicing your art of making a home