Hello, homemakers and welcome to episode two of the art of home podcast summer reading series. We are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong, as we always do. But for the month of August, we are seeking some inspiration from a very old but classic resource. I'm your host Allison weeks. I'm a wife, a mom to four grown kids, grandmother to one baby boy due to arrive this fall, and I have been practicing the art of home for 30 years. Last week I introduced you to Jr Miller, the author of our summer reading selection homemaking. And I read to you chapter one, the wedded life in which Reverend Miller gave some stern warnings about entering into marriage lightly without an understanding of the seriousness of this covenant before God. He also gave us five rules for a happy married life which will help couples navigate the sometimes choppy waters of uniting two independent lives together. This week in chapters two and three, Miller will specifically address the roles of each the husband and the wife respectively. In chapter two, he discusses the husbands part which can be summed up by one weighty Word, love. In Chapter Three Miller first defines what a true ideal wife is and does not. And then he gives some characteristics of such a wife. These chapters are full of beautiful poetry and wise instruction and challenging admonitions. Before we get into today's reading, I do want to address a couple of things. First of all, I hope that all of you are on the mailing list to receive the chapter reflection questions. I've written these prayerfully and with the aim of helping us break down and digest these really lofty ideas, and put them into daily practice in our own homes. For chapter two, the husband's part, I am not leading reflection questions for men. Okay, so therefore I wrote the questions with the wife in mind that is, how can we as wives, take in these pastoral instructions for husbands and then let that inform how we pray for how we understand and sympathize with how we support our husbands as they work out this high and holy calling of loving us wives as Christ loves the church. And then of course, for chapter three, there was so much to reflect on, I had a hard time picking what to focus on because he has many, many great words of wisdom for wives. I hope that you find these meaningful and challenging. The questions go out on Fridays, you can sign up to receive them using the link in the notes or go to the art of home podcast.com/summer. Second, I want to remind you again that this book was written over 140 years ago. So please keep that in mind as you listen. If Miller says something that hurts your 21st century ears, check your heart and be thoughtful about your response. Is it a matter of old fashioned word use are a different definition of a word? Is he truly off the mark biblically? Or did he hit a nerve that you and the Lord need to deal with? And finally, in light of that last point, let me state that a few times. It may seem that Miller holds to marriage as the only and highest ideal for Christian life, leaving no room for those called to singleness. Whether he believed that or not. He doesn't belabor the point. And I want to be clear that the Bible does not teach that marriage is a requirement to be a Christian or to live a full Christian life. Most of our audience is made up of married women, but I pray that the single homemakers listening will find encouragement and inspiration from Miller's teachings. Also, his final point to the husband and chapter two is that he shall be joined to his wife in all matters, especially in spiritual matters, not leaving her to go that sanctifying road alone. One may infer from his words that he espouses to marriage beyond the grave. I do not think that that is his meaning or intention. And the Bible clearly teaches that we will not be married in heaven, but will experience something far greater, a far greater communion with Christ and others to which earthly marriage has been pointing all along.
Allison:Now without further ado, I present to you chapters two and three of JR Miller's homemaking. Chapter Two the husband's part in homemaking, each member of the family has a part and the fullest happiness and bless sadness of the home can be attained only when each one's part is faithfully fulfilled. If any one member of the family fails in love or duty, the failure Mars the whole household life. Just as one discordant voice in a company of singers spoils the music, though all the others sing in perfect accord. One person cannot alone make a home what it ought to be, what it might be. One sweet spirit may spread through the home the odors of love. Even though among the other members, there are bitterness and strife, just as one fragrant flower may spread through the hedge of thorns a breath of perfume. The influence of one gentle and unselfish life may also in time, soften rudeness, and melt selfishness, and pervade the home life with the blessedness of love. Yet still, it is true that no one member of a household can make a household life full and complete. Each must do a part, the husband has a part all his own, which no other one can do. The wife has a part, the children, the brothers, the sisters, each has his own part. Just as the different parts in music combined to produce harmony that pleases the ear, or as the Artist Colors combine on his canvas to please the eye, or is the different parts of a machine work together to produce some effective power, of motion of delicacy of skill. So when each member of the family is faithful, in every duty and responsibility, the result will be harmony, joy, and blessedness. What is the husband's part? How does the word of God define his duties as a husband? What is involved on his part in the marriage relation? What does he owe to his wife? When he stands at the marriage altar, and takes the hand of His Bride and his and make solemn vows and pledges in the presence of God and of human witnesses? What is it that he engages to do? There is one word that covers all the word love. Husbands love your wives, comes the command with all divine authority from the Holy Scriptures. The council is very short, but it grows exceedingly long when it is fully accepted and observed. The art of the photographer is now so perfect, that he can take the whole face of a great city newspaper on a plate small enough to be worn in a little pin. Get as you look at it under the microscope, you find that every word is there, every point and mark. So in this word, love, we have a whole volume of thoughts and suggestions of life and duty crowded. And as we study it closely and carefully, every one of them appears distinctly and clearly written out. What are some of the things that are embraced in the husbands love. One is fondness, affectionate regard. When a man offers his hand in marriage to a woman, he says by his act, that his heart has made choice of her among all women, that he has for her a deeper and tender affection than for any other. At the marriage altar. He solemnly pledges to her a continuance of that love until death. When the beauty is faded from her face, and the luster from her eyes, when old age has brought wrinkles, or when sickness, care or sorrow has left marks of wasting or marriage, the faithful husband's love is to remain deep and true as ever. His heart is still to choose his wife among all women, and to find its truest delight in her. But the word implies more than mere emotional fondness. The Scripture gives the measure of the love which Husbands are to bear to their wives, husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. There is no earthly line long enough to fathom the depths of Christ's love for His church, and no mortal can love in the same degree. Yet insofar as that love can be repeated on Earth, every husband is required to repeat it. Christ gave himself for his church. The husband is to give himself to deny himself utterly to forget himself in simple and wholehearted devotion to his wife in the true husband who realizes all that this divine command involves selfishness dies at the marriage altar. He thinks no longer of his own comfort, but of his wife's. He takes the storm himself and shelters her from its blast. He toils to support her. He denies himself that he may bring new pleasures and comfort to her. He counts no sacrifice too great to be made which will bring benefit to her. There is something very sacred and almost all inspiring and the act by which a wife, at her entrance into the marriage date, confides all the interests of her life to the hands of Him whom she accepts as her husband. She leaves father and mother, and the home of her childhood, she severed all the ties that bound her to her old life. She gives up the friends and the friendships of her youth, she cuts herself off from the sources of happiness to which she has been accustomed to turn. She looks up into the face of him who has asked her to be his wife, and with trembling heart, yet with quiet confidence, she interest to him and to his keeping all the sacred interests of her life. It is a holy trust which he receives when she thus commits herself to his hands. It is the lifelong happiness of a tender human heart, capable of ineffable joy or unmeasured misery. It is the whole future well being of a life which may be fashioned into the image of Christ, or marred and its beauty shattered forever. I wonder, did you ever count the value of one human fate? Or scan the infinite amount of one hearts treasures and the weight of life's one venture, and the whole concentrate purpose of a soul? The wife yields all up to the husband gives herself in the fullest completest sense will he be faithful to the holy trust reposed in his hands? Will he love her with an under-counting love? Will he shelter her from the blast and protect her in the day of peril? Will he cherish her happiness as a precious jewel bearing all things, enduring all things for her sake? Will he seek her highest good, help her to build up in herself the noblest womanhood? Is he worthy to receive and to his keeping all that her confiding love lays at his feet? Will he be true to his trust forever? Miss proctor has put these words into the lips of an expectant bride in a woman's question. Before I trust my fate to the or place my hand in line, before I let the future give color and form to mine, before I peril all for the question that I sold tonight for me. I break all slider bonds, nor feel a shadow of regret. Is there one link within the past that holds the spirit yet? Or is my faith as clear and free as that which I can pledge to the does there within my dimmest dreams, a possible future shine where in thy life could henceforth breathe untouched, unshared by mine? If so, at any pain or cost, Oh, tell me before all is lost, look deeper still. If thou canst feel within the inmost soul, that thou hast kept a portion back, while I have staked the whole let no false pity spare the blow but in true mercy, tell me so. Is there within my heart and need that mine cannot fulfill one chord that any other hand could better wake or still speak now, lest at some future day my whole life with her and decay, lives there within the nature hid the demon spirit change, shedding a passing glory still on all things new and strange. It may not be thy fault alone, but shield my heart against thine own. Cuts thou withdraw thy hand one day in answer to my claim, that fate and that today's mistake, not thou had been to blame. Some soothe their conscience thus, but thou will surely warn and save me now. It is a solemn thing for any man to assume such a trust and to take a life a gentle, delicate, confiding young life into his keeping, to cherish, to shelter, to bless, until death either takes the trust out of his hands, or strikes him down. Last, how many never realize the sacredness of the responsibility they so lightly assume? How many fail to to keep the holy trust How many trample with rude feet upon the delicate lives they swore at the altar to defend and cherish till death. How many let selfishness rule instead of love? How many failed to answer the needs of the tender hearts they have pledged themselves to fill and satisfy with love. Every husband should understand that when a woman, the woman of his own free and deliberate choice, places her hand in his and thus becomes his wife, she has taken her life with all its hopes and fears, all its possibilities of joy or sorrow, all its capacity for development, all its tender and sacred interests and placed it in his hand, and that he is under the most solemn obligations to do all in his power to make that life happy, beautiful, noble, and blessed. To do this, he must be ready to make any personal sacrifice. Nothing less than this can be implied in loving as Christ loved his church when he gave himself for it. This love implies the utmost gentleness and manner. One may be very faithful and true, and yet lack the affection, witness and speech and act which has such power to satisfy the heart. One of the special scripture admonitions to husbands is that they love their wives and be not bitter against them. It is a council against all display of ill temper, all bitter feelings as well as angry words and unkind acts. The teaching of the passage, strictly interpreted is that all bitterness should be suppressed in the very workings of the heart and changed into sweetness. Are all husbands blameless in this respect? Are there none who are sometimes bitter against their wives? Are there no no sometimes speak sharp words that strike and sting like arrows in their hearts? It must be in thoughtlessness, for no true man who really loves his wife would intentionally cause her pain. The poet Calper suggested a very subtle test of character when he wrote, I would not enter on my list of friends, though graced with manners and find sense, yet wanting sensibility the man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm. Yet there are men who would not willingly tread upon a crawling insect or a worm, who would not injure a dumb animal nor needlessly hurt any of the lowest of God's creatures, who every day bring many a pain to the heart of the tender, faithful, loving wife of their bosom, by their sharp words or their impatient looks or acts. The trouble is that men fall into free and careless habits at home. They are not so in society. They are gentle to other women. They pride themselves on their thoughtfulness. They are careful, not even by tone or look to hurt a sensitive spirit. But at home too often they are rude, careless and speech and heedless of the effect of their words and actions. They blurt out in their own house, the ill humor they have suppressed all day on the street. They answer proper questions in an irritated tone. They speak impatiently on the slightest provocation. They are sullen, morose and unsocial. They forget that their own wives are women with gentle spirits easily hurt. A man thinks that because a woman is his wife, she should understand him, that she should know that he loves her even if he is rude to her, that she should not mind anything he says or does, even if it is something that would sorely hurt or offend any other woman. There never was a false premise than this. Just because she is his wife. He owes her the loftiest courtesy that it is in his nature to pay. There is no other woman in all the world that feels so keenly the sting of sharper, thoughtless words from his lips as his own wife, and there is no other of whose feelings he should be so careful, and whom he should so grieve to hurt. No other has the claim upon his thoughtfulness and affection that she has. Love gives no license for rudeness or incivility to the one who is loved. The closer the relationship, the more our hearts pained by any look, tone, gesture or word that tells of bitterness, or even a thoughtlessness. But it is not enough that men be not bitter against their wives. The mere absence of a fault or vice is not a virtue. Silence is no doubt better than bitterness. Even stateliness, though cold as a marble statue, is possibly better than rudeness. A garden without weeds though having neither plant nor flower is better than a patch of weeds, but a garden beauty Fill in fragrant with flowers is better still, it is a step in the right direction when a husband is not bitter against his wife, and it is a good deal farther in the right direction, when instead of being bitter, his words and acts and hole bearing are characterized by gentleness and affection illness. There are men who speak no bitter words, no sharp, petulant words. And yet, but few kindly, tender words fall from their lips. The old warmth of the lover and the newlywed husband has died out and the speech is businesslike and cold. No one needs to be told that there is nothing in such a bearing to satisfy a heart that craves the richest things true love can give. words seem little things so fleeting and evanescent that apparently it cannot matter much of what sort they are. They are so easily spoken that we forget what power they have to give pleasure or pain. They seem so swiftly gone that we forget that they do not go away at all, but linger either like barbed arrows in the heart where they struck, or like fragrant flowers distilling perfume. They seem so powerless for good or ill, and we do not remember that they either tear down or build up their fabrics of joy and peace and the souls of those to whom we speak. They drop from our lips and are gone forever, as it appears to us. Yet on the dole silence breaking with a lightning flash a word bearing endless desolation. On its blighting wings, I heard Earth confer go no keener weapon, dealing shore death and pain, and the cruel echo answered through long years again. I have known one word hung starlike or a dreary waste of years, and it only shown the brighter looked at through the midst of tears. While a weary wanderer gathered hope and heart on life's dark way, by its faithful promise shining clearer, day by day, while gentleness should always mark a husband's bearing toward his wife. There are occasions which call for peculiar thoughtfulness and sympathetic expression. Sometimes she is very weary, the cares of the day have been unusually trying. matters have not gone smoothly at home. Her quivering nerves have been sorely overtaxed. She has heard sad news, a child has been sick all day or worse still has by some disobedience or some wrongdoing, almost broken her heart. What is the husband's part at such times? Surely, if he is capable of tenderness, he will show it now. He will not utter a word to add to the load, the overburdened spirit is already carrying, he will seek rather by every thoughtful help his love can give to lighten the burden, to quiet the trembling heart, and to impart strength and peace in walking on the street one day in a violent and sudden storm. As I was passing under a tree, a weary bird fluttered down from among the branches and the lighting on my bosom crept under my coat. It was seeking a refuge from the fierce storm. Every wife should know that she will always find in her husband's love, a safe and quiet refuge when she is perplexed or tired. She should be sure that he will understand her that he will deal most gently with her, and that he will give his own strength to shelter her, that he will impart of his own life to build up the waist in hers. She should never have to doubt that he will sympathize with her and whatever it may be that tries her. She should never have to fear repulse, or coldness or rebuke when she flees to him for shelter. What Christ is to his people in their weariness, their sorrow, their pain, their alarm, every husband, in his own little measure should be to his own wife. There is one place where we shall remember every unkindness and every neglect shown to those who lean upon us for support and for sympathy, and then the pain will be ours if we have failed and tenderness. Ruskin says he who has once stood beside the grave, to look back upon the companions on whom it has been forever closed, feeling how impotent there is the wild love, or the keen sorrow to give one's instant pleasure to the pulseless heart, or a tone in the lowest measure to the departed spirit for the hour of unkindness, will scarcely for the future incur that debt to the heart, which can only be discharged to the dust. Yet how slow we all are to learn this lesson. It is of little avail to In flowers to a wife's coffin, when you failed to strew flowers on the path while her weary feet were painfully walking over it, it is of little avail to speak her praises now in every ear, to recount her excellences and dwell upon her virtues. When in her lifetime, you never had a word of praise for her own ears, nor loving compliment, nor any token to show her how much you prized her. You placed this flower in her hand, you say, this pure pale rose in her hand of clay. Me thinks could she lift her sealed eyes, they would meet your own with aggrieved surprise, when did you give her a flower before? Ah, well, what matter when all is or but I pray you think, when some fairer face shines like a star from her wanted place, that love will starve if it is not fed, that true hearts pray for their daily bread.
Allison Weeks:The time to show loves tenderness is when it is needed. If we have failed, then the duty never can be rendered at all. No after atonement of lavish affection can brighten the hours that were left on brightened in passing, or lighten the burdens that were left on lightened when the weary spirit was bowing under them. The spirit of this love requires a husband to honor his wife. He honored her before she was his wife. He saw in her his ideal of all that was noble, lovely and queenly. He showed her every mark of honor of which his soul was capable. Now that he has lifted her up to the throne of his heart, will he honor her less, not less, but more and evermore. If he be a true husband and a manly man, he has taken her now into the closest and holiest relation of earth. He has linked her life with his own so that henceforward Whatever affects one affects both. If one is honored, the other is exalted. If one is Dishonored, the other is debased. There is infinitely more reason why he should honor her now than before she was his wife. The ways in which he should show her honor are countless, he will do it by providing for her wants on as generous a scale as his position, and his means will justify. He will do it by making her the sharer of all his own life. He will counsel with her about his business, advice with her concerning every new plan and confide to her at every point the results of his undertakings. A true wife is not a child. When he chose her to be his wife, he believed her to be worthy. She may not have all of his wisdom with regard to the affairs of business, but she may be able to make many a suggestion, which will prove valuable for women's quick intuition often sees at a glance what men's slow logic is long in discovering. Many a man owes to his wife's wise counsel a large measure of his success. And there is many another man whose success would have been greater or to whom failure would not have come if he had sought or accepted his wife's help. But even if she is not qualified to give him great aid in his business plans, she loves him and is deeply interested in everything that he is doing. She is made happy by being taken into all his councils, and thus lifted up close beside him in his life work, and he is made stronger to for energetic duty and for heroic achievement by her warm sympathy, and by the inspiration of her cheerful encouragement. Whether the day bring defeat or victory, failure or success, he should confide all to her in the evening. If the day has been prosperous, she has a right to share the gratification. If it has been adverse, she will want as a true wife to help her husband bear his burden, and to whisper a new word of courage in his heart. Not only then does a man fail to give his wife due honor when he shuts her out of his own business life. But he also robs himself of that inspiration and help which every true wife is able to minister to her husband. It needs scarcely even be said further, that a husband should honor his wife by being worthy of her. Love has been the inspiration that has lifted Many a man from a lowly place to a lofty height of worth or power. Many a youth of humble origin and without rank or condition, has worshiped at the feet of a maiden far above him in social standing and incited by his ardent affection, has made himself worthy of her. And then one her as his bride, Quinton matte sees the celebrated painter was in his youth, a blacksmith at Antwerp. He loved the beautiful daughter of a painter and was loved in return. But her father was an ex horrible. worse though a painter, he said she should be fine. But a blacksmith never. The young man was not discouraged. The Hammer dropped from his hand, a new life began to stir within him. 1000 Glorious conceptions began to flit like shadows across his brain. I will be a painter, he said. He thought of his utter ignorance of art, without any technical knowledge, and was cast down at first, but he began. On his first efforts encouraged him. He took the pencil, and the lines that came were the features of the face that glowed in his heart. Inspired by love, he wrote on I will paint her portrait, he said, and the colors flashed upon his canvas till the likeness was perfect. He took it to the Father. There, said he, I claimed the prize for I am a painter now. He won his bride by making himself worthy of her. under the inspiration of love, he continued to paint, winning new victories of genius, becoming imminent among artists and dying, was buried with high honors in the Cathedral of his native city. The grand motive of his life was to become worthy of her whom he desired to win. Every true hearted husband should seek to be worthy of the wife he has already won. For her sake, he should reach out after the noblest achievements and strive to attain the loftiest heights of character. To her he is the ideal of all that is manly and he should seek to become every day more worthy of the homage she pays to him. every possibility in his soul should be developed, every latent power and energy of his life should be brought out. His hand should be trained under love's inspiration to do its most skillful work. Every fault in his character should be eradicated. Every evil habit conquered and every hidden beauty of soul should burst into fragrant bloom for her sake. She looks to him as her ideal of manhood, and he must see to it that the ideal is never marred that he never falls by any unworthy act of his own from the high pedestal in her heart, to which she has raised him. Among all sins, few are worse than those by which a man draws down shame and reproach upon himself. For besides all the sorrow he brings upon her in so many other ways, he thus crushes in his wife's heart, the fair and noble image of manhood, which she had enshrined there next to her saviors. In the spirit of this love, every husband should be a large hearted man, he should never be a tyrant playing the petty despot in his home. There is no sure Mark than this of small man. A manly man has a generous spirit which shows itself in all his life, but nowhere so richly as within his own doors. There are wives whose natures do not blossom out into their best beauty, because the atmosphere in which they live is chill and cold. A lady who is always watching for beautiful things, and gathering them about her, brought from the mountainside Asad of moss. She put it in her parlor, and after a while in the genial warmth, they're spraying out from the bosom of the moss a multitude of sweet, delicate spring flowers. The seeds had long lain in the moss, but in the cold air of the mountain, they had never burst into life. There are noble wives in homes humble, and homes stately, who are just like this moss. In their natures there are germs of many excellencies and the possibilities of rich outcome, but the home atmosphere is repressing and chilly, and in it, none of these richer qualities and powers manifests themselves. The bringing of new warmth into the home will draw out these latent germs of unsuspected loveliness. The husband who would have his wife's nature blossom out into its best possibilities of character, influence and power must make a genial summer atmosphere for his home all the year round. Then his large heartedness will impart its spirit to the home itself. A husband who is generous within his own doors will not be closed outside. The heart that is used always to be open at home cannot be carried shut through this suffering world. The prosperous home of a generous man sends many blessing and comfort out to less favored homes. Every true home ought to be a help to a great many struggling lives. Every generous and large hearted man scatters many comfort among the needy and the suffering as he passes through this world. There is nothing lost by such scattering No richer blessing can come upon a home than the benedictions of those who have been helped, who have been fed at its doors, or sheltered beneath its roof, or inspired by its cheer and kindly interest. There is no memorial that any man can make for himself in this world, so lasting and so satisfying as that which a life of unselfish kindness and beneficence builds up. There is an old legend of the white hand, there was a king, who glorified not in pomp and power, but in deeds of love. He scattered blessings everywhere. He took the food from his own table, and gave it to the poor. Nothing in his possession was withheld when human need cried in his ear. He'd give the last he had to help some suffering one. One day, a bishop seized the royal hand and blessed at saying, May this fair hand this bounteous hand never grow old. Soon after this war came, and the king was slain in battle, his conqueror gave command to sever his limbs and expose them to view. According to the cruel custom of the time on poles and stakes. It was done. But that hand which had thus been blessed, and which had wrought so many beautiful deeds of love, when all else had perished in the bleaching Sun remained unblemished, on wasted wonderous, white and fair, pointing still upward toward heaven as if raised in prayer. The legend teaches that the hands and hearts which give out blessings to others in the Masters name, and for his sake, that Minister comfort, Joy help healing and uplifting, that make others happier, stronger, safer, better, shall remain forever pure and white in the heaven of glory, when earthly honors have faded, and crowns and jewels have moldered. One thing more may be said, every husband of a Christian wife should walk with her in common love for Christ. There are some husbands however, who fail in this. They love their wives very sincerely, and make many sacrifices for their sake, they carefully shelter them from life's rude blasts. They bless them with all tenderness and affection witness, they honor them very highly, bringing many a noble achievement to lay at their feet, and showing them all homage and respect. They do everything that love can suggest to make their earthly happiness full and complete. They share every burden and walk close beside them in every way of trial. But when they come to the matter of personal religion, they drop back and leave them to go alone. While the wife goes into the sanctuary to worship the husband waits without at the very point where his interest in her life should be deepest. It fails all together. Surely, it is a great wrong to a woman, tender independent, to leave her to walk alone through this world in her deepest life, receiving no sympathy, no companionship, no support from him who is her dearest friend, she must leave him outside of the most sacred part of her life. She must be silent to him concerning the experiences of her soul and its spiritual struggles, aspirations, yearnings hopes, she must bear alone the responsibility of the children's religious nature and training. Alone, she must bow in prayer before God alone, she must sit at the Lord's table. It cannot be right that a husband should leave his wife to live such a large part of her life without his companionship and sympathy. His love should seek to enter with her into every sacred experience. In no other way could he give her such joy as by taking his place beside her as a fellow heir of the same grace, it would lighten every burden since he would now share it with her. It would bring new radiance to her face new peace to her heart new zest to all life for her. It would make their marriage more perfect and unite their hearts in a closer union. Since only those realize the full sweetness of wedded life, who are one at every point, and in every feeling, purpose and hope, and whose souls blend in their higher spiritual part as well as in their lower nature and experiences. Then it would also introduce the husband himself two sources of blessing and strength of which he has never known before. For the religion of Christ is a reality and brings the soul into communication with God, and with infinite springs of comfort, help and blessing. In sharing her life of faith and prayer, he would find his own life linked to heaven, United then on Earth in a common faith In Christ, their mutual love mingling and blending in the love of God, they shall be united also in heaven and eternal fellowship. Why should hearts spend years on earth and growing into one, knitting life to life, blending soul and soul for a union that is not to reach beyond the Valley of shadows? Why not weave for eternity? Chapter Three, the wife's part. It is a high honor for a woman to be chosen from among all womankind to be the wife of a good and true man. She is lifted up to be a crowned queen. Her husband's manly love laid at her feet exalts her to the throne of his life. Great Power is placed in her hands. Sacred destinies are reposed in her keeping. Will she wear her crown beneficent Lee? Will she fill her realm with beauty and with blessing? Or will she fail in her holy trust? Only her married life can be the answer. A woman may well pause before she gives her hand in marriage, and inquire whether he is worthy to whom she
Allison:is asked to surrender so much. Whether he can bring true happiness to her life, whether he can meet the cravings of her nature, for love and for companionship. Whether he is worthy to be lifted to the highest place in her heart, and honored as a husband should be honored. She must ask these questions for her own sake, else the dream may fade with the bridal wreath, and she may learn when too late, that He for whom she has left all and to whom she has given all, is not worthy of the sacred trust, and has no power to fill her life with happiness, to wake her hearts chords to touch her souls depths. But the question should be turned and asked from the other side. Can she be a true wife to him? Who asks for her hand? Is she worthy of the love that is laid at her feet? Can she be a blessing to the life of him who would lift her to the throne of his heart? Will he find in her all the beauty all the tender loveliness, all the rich qualities of nature, all the deep sympathy and companionship, all the strength for uplifting love, all the sources of joy and help which he seems now to see in her? Is there any possible future for him which she could not share? Or their needs in his soul? Or hungers, which she cannot answer? Are there chords in his life which her fingers cannot wake? Surely it is proper for her to question her own soul for him while she bids him question his soul for her. A wife has a part in the song of wetted love, if it is to be a harmony. She holds in her hands on her wedding day precious interests, sacred destinies and holy responsibilities, which if disclosed to her sight at once, might well appall the bravest heart. Her opportunity is one which the loftiest Angel might covet, not the happiness only of a manly life, but its whole future of character of influence of growth, rests with her. Look at the pin picture of a good wife by a master. A good wife is heaven's last best gift to man, his angel and Minister of Grace's innumerable, his gem of many virtues, her voice his sweetest music, Her smiles, his Brightest Day, her kiss, the guardian of his innocence, her arms, the pail of his safety, the balm of his health, the shore Balsam of his life, her industry, his surest wealth, her economy, his safest steward, her lips, his faithful counselor, her bosom the softest pillow of his cares, and her prayers, the ableist advocate of Heavens blessing on his head. If that is what a wife is to be to her husband, is there no need for a woman to question her soul before she goes to the marriage altar? What is the true ideal of a wife? It is not something lifted above the common experiences of life, not an ethereal Angel feeding on ambrosia and moving in the realms of fantasy. In some European cities, they sell to the tourist models of their cathedrals made of alabaster, whiter than snow. But so delicate are these alabaster shrines that they must be kept under glass covers, or they will be soiled by the dust. And so frail that they must be sheltered from every room touch less. They're lovely columns may be shattered. They are very graceful and beautiful, but they serve no lofty purpose. No worshipers can enter their doors. No melody rises to heaven from their aisles. So there are ideals of womanhood, which are very lovely, full of graceful charms pleasing, attractive, but which are too delicate and frail for this prosaic storm swept world of ours. Such ideals the poet's and the novelist sometimes give us they appear well to the eye as they are portrayed for us on the brilliant page. But Of what use would they be in the life of which the real woman of our day has to live? A breath of earthly air would stain them. One day of actual experience in the hard toils and sore struggles of life would shatter their frail loveliness to fragments. We had better seek for ideals which will not be soiled by a rude touch, nor blown away by a stiff breeze, and which will grow lovelier as they move through life's paths of sacrifice and toil. The true wife needs to be no mere poets dream, no artists picture, no a ethereal lady to find for use, but a woman healthful, strong, practical, industrious, with a hand for life's common duties, yet crowned with that beauty which a high and noble purpose gives to a soul. One of the first essential elements in a wife is faithfulness, faithfulness to in the largest sense, the heart of her husband, Dorothy safely trust in her perfect confidence is in the basis of all true affection. A shadow of doubt destroys the peace of married life. A true wife by her character and by her conduct proves herself worthy of her husband's trust. He has confidence in her affection. He knows that her heart is unalterably true to him. He has confidence in her management. He confides to her the care of his household. He knows that she is true to all his interest, that she is prudent and wise, not wasteful, nor extravagant. It is one of the essential things in a true wife that her husband shall be able to leave in her hands the management of all domestic affairs, and know that they are safe. WiFly Thrift, lessness and extravagance have destroyed the happiness of many a household and wrecked many a home. On the other hand, many a man owes his prosperity to his wife's prudence and her wise administration of household affairs. Every true wife makes her husband's interests her own. While he lives for her carrying her image in his heart and toiling for her all the days. She thinks only of what will do him good. When burdens press upon him, she tries to lighten them by sympathy by cheer. by the inspiration of love. She enters with zest and enthusiasm into all his plans. She is never await to drag him down. She is strength in his heart to help him ever to do nobler and better things. All wives are not such blessings to their husbands. Woman is compared sometimes to the vine, while man is the Strong Oak to which it clings, but there are different kinds of vines, some re the robe of beauty and a crown of glory for the tree, covering it in summer days with green leaves, and in the autumn hanging among its branches, rich purple clusters of fruit. Others twine their arms about it only to SAP it's very life and destroys vigor, till it stands decaying and unsightly, stripped of its splendor, dis crowned and fit only for the fire. A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander by the omnipotence of her love turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward. While she clings to him and holy confidence and loving dependence, she brings out in him whatever is noblest and richest in his being. She inspires him with courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life, she softens whatever is rude and harsh and his habits or his spirit, she clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. But there are wives also like the vines which cling only to blight their dependents as weak indolent helplessness, they lean but impart no strength. They cling but they sap the life. They put forth no hand to help. They loll on sofas or promenade the streets. They dream over sentimental novels, they gossip and drawing rooms. They are utterly useless and being useless, they become burdens even to the manliest tenderest love. Instead of making a man's life stronger, happier, richer, they absorb his strength, impair his usefulness, hinder his success and cause him to be a failure among men. To themselves also the result is wretchedness. dependence is beautiful when it does not become weakness and inefficiency. The true wife clings and leans but she also helps and inspires. Her husband feels the mighty inspiration of her love and all his life. Toil is easier, burdens are lighter. Battles are less fierce, because of the face that waits in the quiet of the home. Because of the heart that beats and loving sympathy. Whatever the experience, because of the voice that speaks it's words of cheer and encouragement when the day's work is done. No wife knows how much she can do to make her husband honored among men, and his life a power and a success by her loyal faithfulness by the act of inspiration of her own sweet life. Here are true words from another pen. The woman's axe swings lighter, the heavy blows on the anvil have more music than fatigue in them. The farmer whistles cheerfully over his plow. The mechanics severest toil is lightened by a sweet refrain when he knows that his fair young bride is in sympathy with him. And while watching his return is providing daintily for his pleasure and comfort. Eager to give him loving Welcome to the artist at his easel comm fairer visions to be transformed to the Canvas because of the dear one presiding over his house. The author in his study finds the dullest, subjects closed and freshness and vigor because of the gentle critic to whom he can go for aid and encouragement. The lawyer prepares his case with better balanced energy, thinks more clearly pleads his calls with more effective eloquence, inspired by the cheering words, uttered as he goes to his labors by the young wife, whose thoughts he is assured will follow his work with her judicious tranquilizing sympathy. The physician in his daily rounds among the sick and the suffering, knows there is one now all his own, praying for his success, and this knowledge so fills his being that His very presence by the sick bed has healing in it. The young pastor in his efforts to minister to the spiritual wants of his flock will speak peace to the troubled souls committed to his trust, with far more zeal and tenderness for the love that will smile on him when he returns home. The Good Wife is a good housekeeper. I know well, how unromantic this remark will appear to those whose dreams of married life are woven of the fancies of youthful sentiment. But these frail dreams of sentiment will not last long amid the stern realities of life. And then that which will prove one of the rarest elements of happiness and blessing in the household will be house wifely industry, and diligence. A Greek philosopher walking at night and gazing up at the sky stumbled and fell. His companion observed one should not have his head in the stars while his feet are on the earth. There are some wives who commit the same mistake. They set their eyes on romantic ideals and neglect the real duties that come close to their hands, in which the true secret of happiness and blessing lies. They have their eyes and head among the stars while their feet are walking on mundane soil. And no wonder if they stumble. It may be put down as a positive rule whether among the rich or the poor, whether in a palace or in a cottage, that the wife who would be happy and make her home happy and permanently beautiful, must work with her hands at the house wifely tasks which the days in turn bring to her. When young people marry, they are rarely troubled with many thoughts about the details of housekeeping. Their dreams are high above all such common places. The mere mention of such things as cooking, baking, sweeping, dusting, mending ironing, jars upon the poetic rhythm of the lofty themes of conversation. It never enters the brains of these happy lovers that it can make any difference in the world in their home life. Whether the bread is sweet or sour. Whether the oatmeal is well cooked or scorched. Whether the meals are punctual or party. The mere thought that such sublunary matters could affect the tone of their wedded life seems a desecration. It is a pity to dash away such exquisite dreams. But the truth is, they do not long outlast the echo of the wedding peels are the fragrance of the bridal roses. The newly married are not long within their own doors before they find that something more than tenders intimate is needed to make their home life a success. They come down from the clouds when the daily routine begins and touch the common soil on which the feet of other mortals walk. Then they find that they are dependent just like ordinary people on some quiet, prosaic conditions. One of the very first things they discover is the intimate relation between the kitchen and wedded happiness. That love may fulfill its delightful prophecies and realize it splendid dreams, there must be in the new home a basis of material and very practical elements. The palace that is to rise into the air shooting up its towers, displaying its wonders of architecture, flashing its splendor in the sunshine and admiration of the world must have its foundation and commonplace Earth resting on plain hard, honest rock. Love may build its palace of noble sentiments, and tender affections and sweet charities rising into the very clouds and in this splendid home to souls may dwell in the enjoyment of the highest possibilities of what had life but this palace to must stand on the ground with and poetic and unsentimental stones for its foundation. That foundation is good housekeeping. In other words, good breakfasts, dinners and suppers. A well kept house order system, promptness, punctuality, good cheer, far more than any young lovers dream does happiness and married life depend on such commonplace things as these love is very patient, very kind, very gentle. And when there is love no doubt the plainest fare is ambrosia and the holiest surroundings are charming. I know the wise man said, Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox, ie a good roast beef dinner with hatred there within. But herbs as a constant diet will pile on the taste, especially if poorly served, even if love is ever present to season them. In this day of advanced civilization, it ought to be possible to have both the stalled hawks and love. Husbands are not angels in this mundane state and not being such they need a substantial basis of good housekeeping for the realization of their dreams of blissful homemaking. Here is a paragraph worth quoting. The spirit of wedded love may regard the house in its completeness of appointment and wisdom of management as only the outershell worthless except when vitalized by the heart into a living home. But it must not forget that it's delicate life needs sheathing. In this outer order of the house, the temple walls around the inner altar. That is its heaven lighted fire may be guarded from being chilled down by dampening worries or blown out by gusty tempers. The house with its provision for the daily needs of the lower life duly ordered and graciously loomed is the trellis within which affections intertwine and loving hearts growing out and to efflorescent richness built up the home where the strength for womanhood keeps the house wisely and well in prudent care and orderly comfort and cheerful peace. They are in the daily duties, trying and tasting her character issues in loveliness of bloom and blessedness of privilege, softly shadowing the household beneath its gracious power, and unselfish gentleness, so that the heart of her husband rejoice in her. And the love which was planted within those walls strikes down its roots, through all thin soiled fancy and passion into the rich ground of manly reverence and honor from which to draw a sustenance and life which shall keep it fresh and green in the midst of the years as those that are planted in the house of the Lord. There certainly have been cases in which very tender love has lost its tenderness and when the cause lay in the disorder, the negligence and the mismanagement of the housewifery. There is no doubt that many heart estrangement begins at the table where the meals are unpunctual and food is poorly cooked, or repulsively served. Bad housekeeping will soon drive the last vestige of romance out of any home. The illusion which love weaves about an idolized bride will
Allison Weeks:soon vanish if she proves incompetent in her domestic management, the wife who will keep the charm of early love unbroken through the years, and in whose home the dreams of the wedding day will come true, must be a good housekeeper. In one of his epistles, St. Paul gives the council that young wives should be workers at home, as the revisers have put it, signifying that home is the sphere of the wife's duties and that she is to find her chief work there. There is a glory in all the Christian charities which Christian women, especially in these recent days, are founding and conducting with so much enthusiasm and such market and abounding success. Woman is endowed with gifts of sympathy, of gentleness, of inspiring strength fulness, which peculiarly fit her to be Christ, messenger of mercy to human Whoa, and sorrow and pain, the mission of woman on earth to give birth to the mercy of Heaven descending on Earth, the mission of woman permitted to bruise the head of the serpent and sweetly infuse through the sorrow and sin of Earth, registered curse, the blessing which mitigates all born to nurse and to soothe and to solace to help and to heal the sick world that leans on her. There is the widest opportunity in the most fitting service for every woman whose heart God has touched to be a ministering angel to those who need sympathy or help. There are many who are free to serve in public charities, and caring for the poor for the sick and hospital wards, for the orphaned and the aged. There are few women who cannot do a little and some one or more of these organizations have Christian beneficence, it should be understood that for every wife the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home. Her first and best work should be done there. Until it is done well. She has no right to go outside to take up other duties. She is to be a worker at home, she must look upon her home as the one spot on earth, for which she alone is responsible, and which she must cultivate well for God if she never does anything outside. For her. The father's business is not attending Dorcas societies, and missionary meetings and mother's meetings and temperance conventions, or even teaching a Sunday school class until she has made her own home all that her wisest thought and best skill can make it there have been wives who in their zeal for Christ's work outside have neglected Christ's work inside their own doors. They have had eyes and hearts for human need and human sorrow in the broad fields lying far out, but neither I nor heart for the work of love close to their own feet. The result has been that while they were doing angelic work in the lanes and streets, the angels were mourning over their neglected duties within the hallowed walls of their own homes. While they were winning a place in the hearts of the poor or the sick or the orphan, they were losing their rightful place in the hearts of their own household. Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities and other spheres will atone in this world or in the next for neglect or failure there. The Good Wife is generous and warm hearted. She does not grow grasping and selfish. In her desire to economize and add to her stores. She does not forget those about her who suffer or want. While she gives her wisest and most earnest thought and her best and most skillful work to her own home. Her heart does not grow cold toward those outside who needs sympathy. I cannot conceive of true womanhood ripened into mellow richness, yet wanting the qualities of gentleness and unselfishness. A woman whose heart is not touched by the side of sorrow, and whose hands do not go out and relief where it is in her power to help lacks one of the elements which make the glory of womanhood. This is not the place to speak of woman as a ministering Angel. If it were, it would be easy to fill many pages with the bright records of most holy deeds of self sacrifice. I am speaking now, however, of woman as wife, and only upon so much of this ministry to the suffering as she may perform in her own home at her own door and in connection with her house wifely duties is it fit to linger at this time? But even in this limited sphere, her opportunities are by no means small. It is in her own home that this warmth of heart and This openness of hands are first to be shown. It is as a wife and mother that her gentleness performs its most sacred ministry. Her hand wipes away the teardrops when there is sorrow in sickness. She is the tender nurse. She bears upon her own heart every burden that weighs upon her husband. No matter how the world goes with him during the day. When he enters his own door, he meets the fragrant atmosphere of love. Other friends may forsake him, but she clings to him with unalterable fidelity. When gloom comes down, and adversity falls upon him, her faithful eyes look ever into his like two stars of Hope Shining in the Darkness. When his heart is crushed beneath her smile, it gathers itself again into strength, like a wind torn flower in the sunshine. You cannot imagine, rota de Tocqueville of his wife, what she is in great trials, usually so gentle, she then becomes strong and energetic. She watches me without my knowing it. She softens, calms and strengthens me and difficulties which distract me, but leave her serene. an eloquent tribute, but one which 1000s of husbands might give. Men often see not the angel in the plane plotting woman who walks quietly beside them, until the day of trial comes then in the darkness, the glory shines out. An angel ministered to our Lord when in Gethsemane, He wrestled with his great and bitter sorrow. What had been addiction to the mighty suffer was in the soft, gliding to his side of that gentle presence, in the touch of that soothing supporting hand laid upon him. In the comfort of that gentle voice, thrilling with sympathy as it spoke, it's strengthening message of love. Was it a mere coincidence, that just at that time, and in that place, the radiant messenger came? No, it is always so. Angels choose such occasions to pay their visits to men. With silence only as there have been addiction, God's angels come, where in the shadow of a great affliction the soul sits, dumb. So it is in the dark hours of a man's life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is in the midst of fierce struggles which try the strength of every fiber of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife's strength full love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God's angel of mercy Oh woman in our hours of ease, uncertain, Coy and hard to please. And variable as the shade by the light quivering Aspen made when pain and anguish ring the brow, a ministering Angel thou, in sickness, how thoughtful, how skillful, how gentle a nurse is the true wife, and struggles with temptation or adversity or difficulty, what an Inspire she is, in misfortune or disaster. What lofty heroism does she exhibit, and what courage does her bravery candle in her husband's heart, instead of being crushed by the unexpected loss, she only then rises to her full grandeur of soul, instead of weeping repining and despairing and thus adding 10 fold to the burden of the misfortune. She cheerfully accepts the changed circumstances and becomes a minister of hope and strength. She turns away from luxury and ease to the planer home, the simpler life, the humbler surroundings without a murmur. It is in such circumstances and experiences that the heroism of woman's soul is manifested. Many a man is carried victoriously through misfortune, and unable to rise again, because of the strong inspiring sympathy and the self forgetting help of his wife. And many a man fails in fierce struggle and rises not again from the defeat of misfortune because the wife at his side proves unequal to her opportunity. But a wife's ministry of mercy reaches outside her own doors. Every true home is an influence of blessing in the community where it stands. Its lights shine out. Its songs ring out, its spirit breathes out, the neighbors know whether it is hospitable or inhospitable, warm or cold, inviting or repelling. Some homes blessed no lives outside their own circle. Others are perpetually pouring out sweetness and fragrance. The eye Ideal Christian home is a far reaching benediction. It sets its lamps in the windows and while they give no less light and cheer to those within, they pour a little beam upon the gloom without, which may brighten some dark path and put a little cheer into the heart of some belated passerby. Its doors stand ever open with a welcome to everyone who comes seeking shelter from the storm, or sympathy and sorrow, or help and trial. It is a hospice, like those blessed refuges on the Alps, where the weary or the chilled or the fainting are sure always of refreshment of warmth, of kindly friendship, of gentle ministry of mercy. It is a place where one who is in trouble Mako confident ever have sympathy and comfort. It is a place where the young people love to go, because they know they are welcome and because they find their inspiration and help. And this spirit of the home the wife makes. Indeed it is her own Spirit filling the house and pouring out like light or like fragrance. A true wife is universally beloved. She is recognized as one of God's angels scattering blessings as far as her hand can reach. Her neighbors are all blessed by her ministrations. When sickness or sorrow touches any other household. Some token of sympathy finds its way from her hand into the shadowed home. To the old she is gentle and patient. To the young. She is inciting and helpful. To the poor. She is God's hand reaching out to the sufferer she brings strength to the sorrowing she is a consoler there is trouble nowhere near but her face appears at the door and her hand brings its benediction. I quote a few words for Mr. Arno. They call woman sometimes in thoughtless flattery, an angel. But here in ANGEL and sober truth she is a messenger sent by God to assuage the sorrows of humanity. The worn traveler who has come through the desert with his life and nothing more, the warrior fainting, bleeding from the battle, the distressed of every age and country, long and distinctively for His heaven provided help deepen the sufferers nature, and the hour of his need, springs the desire to feel a woman's hand Binding his wound or wiping his brow, to hear soft words dropping from a woman's lips. Woman was needed in Eden, how much more in this thorny world outside? Physically the vessel is weak, but in that very weakness, her great strength lies. If knowledge is power in man's department, gentleness is power in woman's These are words that every wife should ponder. Every home should be a bit Sada, a house of mercy. Where the suffering the weary, the sorrowing, the tempted, the tried, the fallen, may ever turn sure of sympathy of help and of loves holiest fruits. To little stories of Elizabeth of Hungary illustrate this point and show the reward which such service brings. Her kindness to the sick and the poor was unbounded. Once she brought a lepers child to her palace and laid it in her own bed, because there was no other place to lay it. Her husband heard of it, and came in some displeasure and drew down the cover of the bed to see if the object concealed there was really so loathsome as he had heard. And lo, instead of the festering and leprous body, he saw the Savior radiant with glory and turned away all stricken and yet glad. That was what Jesus said, in so much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me. The ministry is rendered to the poor, the suffering the tempted, the sorrowing are rocked as to Christ Himself, some wife, weary already, her hands over full with the multiplied cares and duties of her household life, may plead that she has no strength to spend and sympathy and help for others. But it is truly wonderful, how light these added burdens seem when they are taken up in love. Another of these legends of Elizabeth towels that once she was bearing her cloak full of loads to the poor, whom she daily fed, her husband met her and being amazed at the size of the load she bore, looked to see what it was and found only flowers. The loaves were as light as they were fragrant, to the noble woman who carried them for the love she bore her Lord. So always the duties we perform out of love for him and his suffering ones become easy and pleasant as we take them up. Heavens benediction rests ever on the home of her who lives to do good. scarcely a word has been said thus far of a wife's personal relation to her husband, and the duties that sprang out of that relation. These are manifold, and yet they are so sacred and delicate that it seems hardly fit to speak or write of them. A few of the more important of these duties belonging to the wife's part may be merely touched upon.
Allison:A true wife gives her husband her fullest confidence. She hides nothing from him. She gives no pledge of secrecy which will seal her lips in His presence. She listens to no words of admiration from others which she may not repeat to him. She expresses to him every feeling every hope, every desire and yearning, every joy or pain. Then while she utters every confidence in his ear, she is most careful to speak in no other ear any word concerning the sacred inner life of her home? Are their little frictions or grievances in the wedded life. Has her husband faults which annoy her or cause her pain? Does he fail in this duty or that? Do differences arise which threaten the peace of the home? In the feeling of disappointment and
Allison Weeks:pain, smarting under a sense of injury, a wife may be strongly tempted to seek sympathy by telling her trials to some intimate friends. Nothing could be more fatal to her own truest interest, and to the hope of restored happiness and peace in her home. Grievances complained of outside remain unhealed sores. The wise wife will share her secret of unhappiness with none but her master, while she strives in every way that patient love can suggest to remove the cause of discord or trouble. Love sees much and a wife that other eyes see not. It throws a veil over her blemishes. It transfigures even her plainest features. One of the problems of her wedded life is to retain this charm for her husband's eyes as long as she lives to appear lovely to him even when the color has faded from her cheeks. And when the music has gone out of her voice, this is no impossibility. It is only what is done in every true home. But it cannot be done by the arts of the dressmaker, the milnor and the hairdresser, only the arts of love can do it. The wife who would always hold in her husband's heart, the place she held on her wedding day, will never see striving to be lovely. She will be as careful of her words and acts as her whole barreling toward him as she was before marriage. She will cultivate in her own life, whatever is beautiful, whatever is winning whatever is graceful. She will scrupulously avoid whatever is offensive, or unwomanly. She will look well to her personal appearance. No woman can be careless in her dress, slattern Lee and untidy and long keep her place in the throne of her husband's life. She will look well to her inner life, she must have mental attractiveness, she will seek to be clothed in spiritual beauty. Her husband must see in her ever new loveliness as the years move on. As the charms of physical beauty may fade in the toils of vicissitudes of life, there must be more and more beauty of soul to shine out to replace the attractions that are lost. It has been said that the wife should always leave something to be revealed only to her husband, some modest charm some secret grace, reserved solely for his delight and inspiration. Like those flowers which give of their sweetness only to the hand that lovingly gathers them. She should always care more to please Him than any other person in the world. She should prize more highly a compliment from his lips than from any other human lips. Therefore, she should reserve for him the sweetest charms, she should seek to bring ever to him some new surprise of loveliness, she should plan pleasures and delights for him. Instead of not caring how she looks or whether she is agreeable or not. When no one but her husband is present, she should always be at her best for him. Instead of being bright and lovely when there is company, then relapsing into Langer and silence when the company is gone. She should seek always to be brightest and loveliest. When only he and she sit together in the quiet of the home. Both husband and wife should ever bring their best things to each other. Again, let me say that no wife can overestimate the influence she wields over her husband, or the measure in which his character, his career, and his very destiny are laid in her hands for shaping.
Allison:The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is Mighty, and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as clean of his life, she can do with him as she will, even unconsciously to herself, without any thought of her responsibility. She He will exert over him and influence that will go far toward making or marring all his future if she has no lofty conception of life herself. If she is vain and frivolous, she will only chill his order, weaken his resolution and draw him side from any earnest endeavor. But if she hasn't her sole noble womanly qualities, if she has true thoughts of life, if she has purpose, strength of character and fidelity to principle, she will be to Him and unfailing inspiration toward all that is noble, manly and Christ like the high conceptions of life in her mind will elevate his conceptions. Her firm, strong purpose will put vigor and determination into every resolve an act of his, her purity of soul will cleanse and refine his spirit. Her warm interest in all his affairs, and her wise counsel at every point will make him strong for every duty and valiant in every struggle. Her careful domestic management will become an important element of success in his business life. Her bright, orderly, happy homemaking will be a perpetual source of joy and peace and an incentive to nobler living, her unwavering fidelity, her tender affection witness her womanly sympathy, her beauty of soul will make her to him God's angel indeed, sheltering, guarding, keeping, guiding and blessing him. Just in the measure in which she realizes this lofty ideal of wife hood, will she fulfill her mission and reap the harvest of her hopes, such as the woman's lot that falls on every wife. It is solemn enough to make her very thoughtful and very earnest. How can she make sure that her influence over her husband will be for good, that he will be a better man, more successful in his career, and more happy because she is his wife, not by any mere moral posturing, so as to seem to have lofty purpose and wise thoughts of life, not by any weak resolving to help him and to be an uplifting inspiration to him, not by perpetual preaching and lecturing on a husband's duties and unmanly character. She can do it only by being in the very depths of her soul, in every thought and impulse of her heart, and in every fiber of her nature, a true and noble woman. She will make him not like what she tells him he ought to be, but like what she herself is. So it all comes back to a question of character. She can be a good wife, only by being a good woman. She can be a good woman in the true sense only by being a Christian woman. Nowhere save in Christ can she find the wisdom and strength she needs to meet the solemn responsibilities of wife hood? Only in Christ can she find that rich beauty of soul that gyming and in purling of the character, which shall make her lovely and her husband sight when the bloom of youth is gone, when the brilliance has faded out of her eyes, and the roses have fled from her cheeks? Only Christ can teach her how to live so as to be blessed and be a blessing and her married life. Nothing in this world is sadder than to compare loves early dreams, what love meant to be with the two frequent story of the afterlife. What came of the dreams. What was the outcome of loves adventure? Why so many sad disappointments? Why so many bridal reads fall into dust? Is there no possibility of making these fair dreams come true of keeping these flowers lovely and fragrant through all the years? Yes, but only in Christ. The young maiden go smiling and singing to the marriage altar. Does she know that if she has not Christ with her she is as a lamb going to the sacrifice.
Allison Weeks:Let her tarry at the Gateway till she has linked her life to Him who is the first and the last? Human love is very precious, but it is not enough to satisfy a heart. There will be trials there will be perplexities, there will be crosses and disappointments, there will be solicitudes and sorrows, then none but Christ will be sufficient. Without him the way will be dreary. But with has been addiction and presence. The flowers that drooped today will bloom fresh again tomorrow. And the dreams of early love will build themselves up into a palace of peace and joy for the solace, the comfort and the shelter of old age. That concludes our second installment of The Art of home summer reading series. Don't forget, study questions will go out every Friday. So if you want to go deeper into this book, sign up using the link in the notes, or the art of home podcast.com/summer. As always, if you so desire, you can give the show some love by sharing this or any episode with someone you know, who could use some encouragement in her homemaking. You can leave us a rating and a review on your listening app. And you can also leave us a tip in our virtual Tip Jar buy me a coffee, just go to buy me a coffee.com/the art of home. We appreciate you all listening and sharing and subscribing and giving. If you have any questions or you have some thoughts that you would like to share, I would love to hear from you. Just go to our website contact page or click on the link in the notes to either leave us a voicemail or you can send us an email. That's all for this week. Meet you back here next Wednesday for chapters four and five of JR Miller's homemaking. Until then keep practicing your art of making a home