Hello Homemakers , welcome to season 15 of the Art of Home podcast . I'm your host , allison Weeks . I'm a wife , I'm a mom to four grown kids , granny to one baby boy , and I have been practicing the Art of Home for over 31 years now . Yes , we had an anniversary since the last episode and we are now at 31 years , so I guess , technically , that means I'm in my 32nd year of homemaking . Okay , anyway , if you're new here , welcome to the podcast . I'm so glad that you found us here .
Speaker 1On the Art of Home , we highlight stories of Homemakers of all ages and in all stages of keeping a home , seasoned to single and everyone in between . We talk about their trials and their triumphs of homemaking , their relationships in the home , parenting , marriage . We share recipes and tips and favorite products , and so much more . We have dozens and dozens of these stories in our podcast catalog . So if you like what you hear today , be sure to go back and listen to more from past guests . If you are a regular listener , welcome back and welcome to season 15 . I'm especially excited for this season because it marks the first season in which I will be sharing interviews of some of you all . I was overwhelmed by the response to my open invitation for listeners to apply to be on the show . Thank you all so much for applying . I have every single spot remaining in 2023 filled and I can't wait to meet you all and to share our conversations with the audience . Applications are now closed for 2023 , but I will be opening them up again in December to start recording for the first season of 2024 . If you applied and you did not get a spot this season , you can reapply next time , so be on the lookout for that . Later this year . I will announce it on the show and on social media and I will send out a special email with links to apply as well . On that note , make sure you are signed up for our mailing list so that you get that notification to apply when it comes and so that you receive our weekly newsletter , homemaker Happy Mail , which has been on a break this summer but is returning this Friday .
Speaker 1This newsletter goes out first thing on Friday morning . It covers all sorts of things . You find out what's coming on the podcast before anybody else . You get any extras that our guests talk about on their episode , like if they share a recipe or a tip or any of you know there's been random things that they have mentioned and I said , oh , could you share that ? And they're like , absolutely , and the newsletter is the best place for me to be able to share those resources with you , because I can't always attach things to the show notes and not everybody knows how to find show notes . So I have found that the newsletter is the best way to do that . So you will get exclusive content in the newsletter and it's totally free . So you can sign up by using the link down in the episode description , the show notes , or just go to the art of home podcastcom slash subscribe . You can also access some of the past newsletters that are in our archive on the website . Just click on the newsletter tab of the menu and it'll do a drop down that'll say newsletter archive .
Speaker 1One other thing to keep in mind because I wanted to give as many spots to applicants as I was able to , I decided to put the Pillars of Homemaking project on the back burner until January . We have already done deep dive episodes on pillar one and two identity and values and priorities respectively and I had planned to release pillar three rhythms and routines and pillar four community this fall . Instead , I will release those in early 2024 . Now onto today's episode . I am chatting with my friend , kay Abbey , a seasoned homemaker . Now , I don't often put qualifiers at the beginning of an episode , but I do feel like there's a few things I'd like to say before we get into Kay's story .
Speaker 1In some ways , hers is a typical story of home , but in many ways it is not . If , while you are listening , there seems to be holes in the story , that is intentional . Every guest that comes on this show is putting themselves in a vulnerable position , sharing their story of home all the good , the bad , the lovely , the ugly , all of it . I never want to dishonor someone's story by forcing them to share things that they cannot or that they wish not to . I will always try to present as clear a picture as I can to you , while respecting the boundaries that the guest have set in place .
Speaker 1Because here's the thing yes , this is her story , but there are other people involved . Like any story of home , there is brokenness and there is sin . We are not trying to gloss over that . But if and when we leave out details , it's because this woman wants to honor the relationships that she has with those who were and still are a part of her story of home . Above all , we want to honor God through telling these stories , so we will major on him and how he has used the circumstances of home , whatever that looks like , to draw the homemaker to himself and to give her a desire to serve him with her home . So , whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen today , I know you will enjoy Kay's story of home .
All right , welcome to the art of home . I'm here with my friend , kay Abbey . We're going to talk about her experience as a seasoned homemaker over the decades . But before we do that , kay , why don't you just introduce yourself ? Tell us a little bit about who you are today .
Speaker 2Hi , my name is Kay . I am 70 years old . My husband and I retired here in 2018 and we just absolutely love our life . It's very simple . Took me a long time to find my place after retirement I actually had only worked for 25 years Absolutely loved it . I thought that my husband would be the one that would have a hard time retiring and he didn't , because he's a golfer and he's able to go out every day in golf . And all of a sudden I'm here not in a city , almost country with nothing to do , so it became a real challenge for me . It took me a while to find my place .
Speaker 1Okay , but you found it , I did . So what do you do with your time these days , kay ?
Speaker 2These days I read a lot , very involved in the neighborhood , very involved in my church , which has really been a blessing . We're very fortunate it's right across the highway from where we live and we have wonderful neighbors , and so I am starting to pick back up on golf , just because it's so convenient . That's it . I love to cook , I like to garden , and so I keep busy with that . Cool , okay . And you have how many children ? We are a blended family , so I have four children , my husband has one , and together we have 11 grandchildren Wow , ranging in age from 21 down to eight .
Speaker 1Okay , and are any of your children ?
Speaker 2local here . No , I have a son who lives in Nebronville's with his wife and family , so they're close . They're close , yeah , 40 minutes , yeah , not bad .
Speaker 1Okay , well , let's dive in and let's go back to the beginning . So when
did you first become a homemaker ?
Speaker 2Interesting story because I really never considered myself a homemaker at first . I married my first husband the day after I graduated from high school , so I am not educated formally . My mother-in-law tells me that I was street smart , not book smart , so I thought , okay , I like that because there's a lot you can learn . I read a lot , so I'm educated through what I choose to read . But I had a wonderful mother-in-law . Through my first husband , we were very , very close . She is the one who really taught me how to cook , and so she was an excellent cook . I just loved the way she spiced everything , and so I still treasure that and I treasure those memories .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's awesome . So , besides learning cooking from your mother-in-law , did you have any other skills ? I mean right out of high school that's ? I mean you just dove right in . So did you have any skills , or did you have to just kind of learn at the School of Hard Knocks ?
Speaker 2I happened to have been , to be honest , a little hippie chick . Oh okay , so you graduate from high school . You have no real clue . I had no real clue what I wanted to do . I had always wanted to be an attorney and my uncle was killed tragically in a car accident , actually outside Gonzales , texas , and that just sort of shattered my dreams of what I wanted to do . So I got married instead , which is absolutely probably not the best route to go , but I did love my boyfriend and so we got married . So no , I had no skills , I had no clue . I just thought you get married , you hang out , you have fun .
Speaker 1What do you think was the hardest thing for you to learn , as when it came to keeping a home and because you were working . So what was really the most challenging thing for you ?
Speaker 2To be honest , there wasn't anything really challenging because I had no children . So it was just my husband and I and we lived in a very small little house in San Marcos . I'll always remember the landlady , mrs Harrison . She was probably 85 or 90 . She lived in the huge house on the main street and we rented from her . So it was very simple . I mean , it was just like a one bedroom studio . There really wasn't anything to it . I would go to her house and help her quite a bit because she was elderly . So I found very early on I always loved older people and just loved being around them because I knew I could garner so much from them from just their life stories . So I would go to her house and I would sweep her porch . I would go grocery shopping for her . I would help her make she called them cornbreads , but they were more like corn patties that she would fry in a skillet .
Speaker 1Oh , yes , fried cornbread , and that was in San Marcos . That's interesting because that was something that was very lower Alabama , which is North Florida , where my husband's family is from , and I'd never heard of fried cornbread until I met him , and that's something that they always did . You just make a thin cornbread sort of batter and then you fry it and maybe half an inch of oil and a cast iron skillet . It is the best thing ever so good .
Speaker 1I know , almost like potato pancakes , yeah , but crispy , and we have that regularly at our house , you do ? I mean , okay , we used to have it more regularly when we were younger and could burn the calories , but now it's like we have to have it on New Year's with our black eyed peas and our collard greens , so that's your tradition .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , and then anytime we make corned beef and cabbage , which is not like you would not . I'm not talking like Irish corned beef and cabbage . It's poor , poor people again from lower Alabama , North Florida . It's canned corned beef , so it's more like a hash . It's more like a corned beef hash with and it makes like a juice Interesting . And it's delicious . And then the juice from the cabbage that you've boiled down and that that's what you dip the corn , the fried cornbread in .
Speaker 2Oh , wow , oh , that's . That sounds like something I might have to try this year .
Speaker 1Now I'm getting hungry . Okay , I love this story , though that you're telling me about your landlady and the time that you got to spend with her .
Speaker 2She was precious . I will always remember her , and there were . There were a lot of older people that I treasured and I treasure their memories , especially from church . Growing up , I went to a very small church and we may have had like 35 , 40 people that would attend , and at the time I did not appreciate it , but the women and even the men were like grandparents and they just loved on you and so I had a . It was a challenging relationship with my parents growing up . They were not affectionate at all , and so to be able to go to church and get that from these other people was just amazing to me . I loved it , especially as I was growing up .
Speaker 1I love that so much , and that's I mean even in , even in a healthy family situation with affectionate parents and all of that , it's still such a benefit to take your kids to church and have them be around people of all ages .
Speaker 2Yes , and I think I think with the older people you learn so much because there's so much history that we miss . But I love stories , so I love listening to people's stories and that's just . You know they're giving , they're sharing part of them with you and that's something you will always remember . Yes , absolutely .
Speaker 2So you did work outside the home , I worked outside
the home when I first got married , as a waitress . That was it . And then really my first job I ever had was working at a funeral home where I did pre-need cells but that was much later in life . Where you did what Pre-need cells ? Where you try to go into people's homes and talk them into buying their federal policies .
Speaker 1Oh , okay .
Speaker 2They're burial policies . You were a salesperson for burial policies . Yes , so that you don't have to wait , so that you don't have to wait until the last minute .
Speaker 1Or burden your family with it . Right , yeah , but I could never do it .
Speaker 2I just I never . I think maybe I sold four policies . That was it Cause I couldn't talk anybody into doing it . It was like when they would look at me and I don't have the money , it was like , oh , I understand , you know , it's okay , yeah .
Speaker 1I don't see you as that type of salesperson . Oh it did last .
Speaker 2Things in my first marriage had had were really breaking apart . I was married to a very controlling individual that would tell me often that I was a good mother but wasn't qualified to do anything else outside the house . So emotionally I was pretty battered and beat down . I was never physically abused , but emotionally I was . And so I , when I turned 40 , I started making a plan that I needed my life to change because of problems within the home .
Speaker 2So I went to work at this funeral home , walking blocks at high hills , and I developed a foot problem . So I had a friend who gave me the option of several different doctors to go and see and she said but this one is the most conservative . In other words , he's not going to want to do surgery or anything like that just because you have a foot problem . And I said well , that's who I need to go and see . So I went to see him and he gave me my diagnosis and said if it's not any better , you need to come back in a couple of weeks and we'll try an injection .
Speaker 2So when I went back two weeks later had to have the injection , his office girl was just frazzled . She was just running around going crazy in the office and I said you look like you could use some help . And she said I can . I need somebody so bad . And I said well , what would they be doing ? Just answering the phone and scheduling ? And my mind just started clicking and I thought that is something that I can do . I mean , I have no skills really to do anything else other than to take care of kids , and so I just said I'll do it . So she took me as she ran errands to interview me and then a week later I was interviewed by the doctor at the hospital after he did surgeries , and he said fine , okay . But he told the girl her name was Lillian . I don't want her to have any baggage . I need somebody that's going to be really able to work and not be distracted by anything going on in the home life . So Lillian informed me keep everything quiet into yourself .
Speaker 2And it was like okay , I can , you know , I can do that . So I worked for him probably for about four or five months before I ended up separating from my husband .
Speaker 2Finally reached a point because of things that were going on within the home that my children did not need to be exposed to . I needed to leave , and so that's what I did , and it was not easy . It was a challenge , because here I am , someone who's never worked and trying to make sure that my children live a lifestyle that they had been accustomed to .
Speaker 1So I worked four jobs . Well , how did you manage ? You know you were a single mom for quite a while , working more than one job at times . How did you manage your household and your kids and you're working in all of those things ?
Speaker 2It was a challenge . I would work all day , get off at five , go to work . Initially one of the jobs would be like on the weekend I worked in a tobacco store and , yeah , that was interesting . I loved the smell of cigars and tobacco , pipe tobacco . And I went through a period where I smoked . I had never really been a smoker and so , but it was something that I did . It was almost it became like a stress release . And then when I realized you know what this is kind of a challenge for me , I need to just get rid of it . So I stopped without a problem , but I also quit working at the tobacco store too .
Speaker 2So then I was like a pool monitor where on weekends I sat and took care of the swimming pool in the neighborhood that we lived in , did that on weekends I cleaned office buildings , did that . And then I went to work at a Italian restaurant , which is where I developed my love for all things Italy , and worked in a restaurant at night , you know , from like 5.30 until 10 . God blessed me everywhere . I lived with absolutely incredible neighbors who became surrogate parents for them . I could never have done it without them and they would look after them , they would take care of them . If there was anything that they needed , they were there for them .
Speaker 2My mother also came down , for probably she would come off and on for a number of months to stay and take care of them and make sure they got to school , would do grocery shopping and everything else . So I had a . You know I had a lot of people that helped me . It was not easy but it was . I always say God just really provided and took care of everything .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think that's a place where the church can really step in , and whether it's someone who is a single parent , because whatever the circumstances death , divorce , they've been deserted , whatever you know , there's so much of a need there where the church can step in , like you said Right , and be a surrogate parent when mom , or whoever the parent is , is working a couple of jobs .
Speaker 2And my church did . They were when my son went off to college and they knew that I was struggling to pay monthly for one of his student loans . They came to me and they said you know , we need to have this conversation , we want to help you out . And it was like no , no , no , no , no .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2I don't , you know . No , I have to do this on my own because this was something that I chose , and they sat me down and talked to me about the importance of allowing the church to help me and that this was a gift from God . So when they put it that way it was , I said okay . And so for a full year they made that student loan payment every month $150 every month . That was the church coming to my aid . So I will always be grateful for them and for that group of people . They were wonderful .
Speaker 1That sounds awesome . Wow , that's great . You had a great community around you .
Speaker 2I did . I had didn't really appreciate them that much Like at the time . It was a crazy . It was a crazy period for me . It really was . It was a very difficult period , so I was in and out of church at that point , but they still saw that need and they saw what I was doing and they wanted to help . And they wanted to do it for my kids , so that meant a lot and that will always . I will always think of that and always cherish that time .
Speaker 1We always talk about expectations . I asked the question how did the reality of day to day keeping a home and all that stuff match your expectations ? And we've talked a lot about just sort of the trauma and all the stuff you went through with your first marriage . So maybe we can address this to your second marriage , Because you both probably had certain expectations or not brought into this second marriage . So did you need to make adjustments ?
Speaker 2He probably had to make more adjustments than I did . I was pretty independent , having been single for 16 years , so I would take off and go see my son at college on the weekends . I had friends who lived in San Marcos , very close friends that I would just take off and go and see . I would go to my hometown visit with my family . So when we got married we never had the conversation about stopping . So probably after three months and that many trips out of town , and I told him . I said , oh , I'm heading out to my hometown to see my sister , you are . And I stopped and I looked at him and I thought , oh my gosh , I haven't even considered him . I haven't even considered him . I'm married now . I can't just pick up and take off . But that was my . I mean , this man who I dearly love loves me unconditionally , even with my thighs , and I think the only issue I have with him is his taste in food are quite up to par and he knows this . I'm not telling , I'm not saying anything that he doesn't already know .
Speaker 1So his palate is less sophisticated than yours . He is a meat and potato man .
Speaker 2And I am just , and his son is a chef .
Speaker 2So , his son actually went to culinary school , is a great chef , had a restaurant . Now he just cooks for his family , but I treasure the times when I could go there because Christopher always has something delightful on the plate and on the menu . So , but no , we have a great relationship primarily because it's centered around God . This is the marriage that I wanted my children to see and that was the thing I really prayed about for a long time that I wanted my kids to see the way a real marriage should be that a husband and wife love each other completely and love and serve a God who is forgiving and loves us .
We will get back to Kay's story in just a minute . Right now it's time for historical homemaker hints . This is the part of the podcast where we highlight some of the helpful and not so helpful hints doled out to homemakers throughout history . Today's hints come from 1003 household hints and work savers a treasury of clever , practical ways to save money , time and work in every department of daily living , put out by WL , moody and co-bankers of Galveston , texas , in 1948 . There are a plethora of food and kitchen tips in this handy little book , and there's quite a few here about eggs that I thought I would share with you today .
Speaker 1To determine whether you are getting your money's worth when paying for fresh eggs , you should know that . Number one , a fresh egg sinks in water . Number two , the shell should be dull and rough . Number three , the yolk should be in the center . Hold the egg up to the light and then , number four , the contents should not shake back and forth loosely . Old eggs are smooth and shiny . Fresh eggs are rough and chalky in appearance . Eggs beat up lighter and make finer cake . When not too cold , they should be at cool room temperature 60 degrees to 70 degrees Fahrenheit for the best results . When making sponge cakes , especially angel food .
Speaker 1Remove eggs from the refrigerator several hours before using . Do you get frustrated when it's time to separate eggs from egg yolks ? Well , this handy tip might just be your saving grace . Quickly and easily separate whites from yolks of eggs by breaking them gently into a funnel . The whites will pass through and the yolk will remain . Note it's easiest to separate whites and yolks right after removing eggs from the refrigerator To keep those egg yolks fresh for several days . Cover with cold water and store in the refrigerator To use up leftover egg yolks . Poach them until firm , then cool and put through a sieve Nice for salads , soup garnishes and canapes . Egg shells can be removed easily from hot , hard-boiled eggs if they are quickly rinsed in cold water .
Speaker 1All right , I don't know about that , because I have been doing an ice bath on my boiled eggs for quite a while now and I still end up with completely mangled eggs . Some of them the shell slips off beautifully , no problem . Others , there's hardly any egg left by the time I am done peeling the egg . It is so frustrating . I had read in the past , I think Martha Stewart said you have to use eggs that are not fresh . If it's a little less fresh , this has something to do with the membrane inside the egg . I don't know . Maybe you chicken ladies could answer this question for me , but she said something about the membrane starts to release after the egg is not quite so fresh , and that makes it easier to peel . It doesn't seem to make any difference New egg , old egg . I still end up with mangled eggs , probably two out of every five , when I boil my eggs every week .
Speaker 1I did do a little research for this segment and I found an article on thepioneerwomancom that said basically for foolproof , no mangled eggs . When peeling your boiled eggs , you have to give them not only a cold finish . So I'm good with the ice bath , that is a good practice but you have to give them a hot beginning . So hot start , cold finish , and what they mean by that is put your eggs into the water after it has already started to boil . I've never done this before , so I'm gonna try it . She says absolutely without fail . You will have wonderfully smooth peeled eggs if you follow this hot beginning , cold ending practice . I'll let you know how it goes Well .
Speaker 1That's it for today's historical homemaker hints . As always , these hints are intended for entertainment purposes only , and we leave it up to you , the listener , to determine the safety and soundness of this advice . Now back to Kay's story .
Well , okay , let's talk a little bit about hospitality . So what are some of the ways that you show hospitality in your homemaking ? In my homemaking I you said you were involved in your , very involved in your neighborhood . I am we do .
Speaker 2let me take it . Let me go back , because COVID was a horrible time . We were very fortunate . When we built our house , our neighbors to one side of us were an elderly couple and Ben and Martha , and they were in their 90s . Martha's still living . She turns 94 in July . Ben passed away at 96 . But when we would come up here before we retired ? We built the house in 2014 , and we worked and did not retire until 2018 . So every other weekend we would come up , I would go and have coffee with Ben and Martha at 7.30 , eight o'clock every morning , and then wine every evening at four or five , and then we started cooking together . I would cook meals for them and we would have meals together , have them over and then , through COVID , we were each other's best friends . Because you were so limited as to what you could do and who you could see .
Speaker 2So I absolutely loved being able to go and sit on the back patio with them every morning and every evening and we would just share stories and just enjoy the view and enjoy the day . I love doing things for people . I love to cook , so people know I'm good for that . We have a book club in our neighborhood so when I host , I generally prepare a meal or something for the ladies . We have a wine social or just a social gathering now , because not everybody drinks wine . Everybody takes food for that . I love having the kids come , even though they don't come often . The house isn't built for that .
Speaker 2When we downsized , we downsized thinking maybe one family at a time would come and visit . I think the drawback to the neighborhood is there is nothing here for kids to do . Didn't even think about that . All we thought about was ourselves . You just walk out the backyard and you're on the golf course . But when you have grandkids , the only thing here for them to do is during the summer , when they go to the pool , that's it , and so that's pretty much limited to summer hospitality .
Speaker 2I go and visit them quite often and we do things with them .
Speaker 1Let's talk about the seasons of homemaking . What would you say was your most difficult transition from one season to another ? I mean , you've got already the difficulty of a troubled marriage and then single parenting
and then navigating a new relationship and all of that , but you're also raising four children at the same time , right ? So what would you say was just kind of your most difficult transition ? During that period when I went to the divorce and on my own or Just all together .
Speaker 2I think so . There's always a situation and I was just talking to my daughter about this the other day I wanted back in a house with my kids and I had sat when I went through my divorce . I wasn't getting any child support , so I was going through trying to figure out exactly how I can come up with the money to rent a house . Yeah , I had a very tight budget and I found a house Wow , cute , cute , cute , cute little house and it was empty . The windows were up on it , nobody was living in it . There was furniture in it . Because I got up and went and looked in it and then I would see the guy who owned it out front working hey , I want that house .
Speaker 2Well , somebody's you know she's rented it . She lives on the island . She's kind of a little strange , but I think there were . The city came by spraying for mosquitoes and she happened to have the windows open , so some of the spray got in the house . So she refused to return to the house , but she didn't want to relinquish her lease . So it took me probably three months to convince him . Let me have this house .
Speaker 2You know I can handle this house , so he and I loved that . I still love the house . But there were more problems with that house and I learned from that not to force things to happen . You know it's just not . You know God provides . I mean , I had a great little apartment with my kids . I just wanted a house you know , I wanted a house with a yard so I could put my flower beds in the backyard or in the front yard , and it was what I wanted .
Speaker 2And it wasn't necessarily what God wanted for me and I didn't think about that at the time .
Speaker 1Do you think it was because you were wanting that symbolized stability for you ? And the time that was very unstable for you and your kids .
Speaker 2Yeah , it did because it was . It was a home , a home . A house is a home . That was not an apartment . You know . It had to be a house because I had always lived in houses and so I felt like that's what they needed . But it was . It was difficult . It was very , very challenging . A window broke . I had no money to call someone to fix the window . I had to do it myself and I measured wrong five times . I kept going back to Sutherland's telling them why is this glass working ? And I finally took the tape measure and he said it's because you're not measuring it correctly . And I sat down . I'll always remember this . I sat down on the front porch underneath that window just crying why , why , why me , why me .
Speaker 2You know and . But then I got up and clocked it and it worked great . So it was just I had to have a little pity party too , but that that was just an incident that happened during that period in my life . This current period in my life was retirement . I never thought . I don't know what I thought really . I just thought no work , I don't have to get up every morning and do something , go to work , be at an office at 730 in the morning . But then we retired and it was like okay , the house , I don't have to do anything in the house , the house takes 45 minutes to clean . Do it on Mondays . What am I gonna do the rest of the week and the rest of the time ? And this was really before I got involved at the church .
Speaker 2And so I went through , I struggled , I went through depression and it was very , very depressing . My husband would just what can I do ? What can I do for you ? And it was just like don't talk to me , I don't know what . There's nothing that you can do . This is just something that I have to work through . And I got more involved at the church , started going to the Bible studies , got involved with that , really started . That is such a wonderful body . That is a family for me Because I have met so many wonderful people and I'm not a real socializer .
Speaker 2My group of friends is very , very small , only because I've been asked about that , because I worked and I was a single parent for so many years I didn't have time to socialize . I was busy with their activities and everything that involved them , and so I had to be . I just never cultivated friendship so I could go in a room with someone and sit and talk this . As long as I've sat and talked with anybody for any length of time , I just don't do small talk , and so girlfriends do a lot of small talk .
Speaker 2And I just so , and I don't know how to do that . It's like oh , how are you ? You tell me how you're doing , I'm good . Okay , thank you , and we're done . I can go home now , so so .
Speaker 1You're speaking my language , kate . I don't do small talk here , but you know what I will say is that before ?
Speaker 2my husband used to always tell me you know , you're just not , you can't be at home , you just can't , you can't be at home . This was before we retired , because on the weekends I was constantly going somewhere to the mall , to the store , shopping , doing something , whatever . But after we got up here and this is another reason why I think God put us right where he wanted us right , when we needed to be here I have found so much peace just being at home .
Speaker 2I mean I can just be at home and I'm good with it . And I have great neighbors . I have neighbors that I can go and have lunch with . That's only an hour and a half , so we can get . We can get everything said and talked about within that hour and a half . But yeah , I am just really at peace . I mean I can go sit on my patio , I can read a book , which is what I do . I'm going to buy a table to put out there .
Speaker 2I told my husband so during the summer , before it gets really hot , I can sit out there and do my Bible study . And because God's given me this great view , given me this great area to live in , and I need to take advantage of it . But , plus , I do spend a lot of time with daughters . I will say not as much with my son . I regret that I don't get to spend as much time with him , but I think that's the way it is . He's busy , working . You know he's got to provide for his family . Not that my kids , my daughters , don't work , but it's easier for them to take off and we travel together . So , yeah , I love my adult children , all of my adult children . Yes , jason , if you hear this , you know this .
Speaker 1So what does it look like ? I mean , you just kind of explained what your homemaking looks like in the season you're in now . It takes 45 minutes to clean your house . It does it does .
Speaker 2It's really absolutely lovely . I love it , and my husband does . The shutters , oh nice , very , very nice . Because , I , like I mentioned earlier , I used to pay my kids . They would want spending money and I would say okay , I'll give you $10 if you deskt . You know , because I wouldn't , I wouldn't get into it , I'm not .
Speaker 1I am not a fan of dusting either .
Speaker 2Now I am , but , like I said , it only takes 45 minutes to do the glass , the furniture , everything .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , Okay cool . We're gonna talk
about . We're gonna talk about some more homemaking tasks . Okay , Okay . What is a homemaking task that you love ?
Speaker 2Cooking , okay . Can that be considered a homemaking task ? Yes , okay , I love to cook . I absolutely . That's a passion . Yeah , especially if it's Italian .
Speaker 1I was gonna say Did I say that before ? I love ?
Speaker 2all things Italian yes .
Speaker 1Yes . Okay , I think I know the answer to the next one , one that you hate . Yeah , dusting , yes . Is there a task that you grew to love over time ?
Speaker 2Dusting Only because now , as I've gotten older , I remember maybe it's the thought came to me in one of my moments . I think it was Thomas Merton . He talked about in all things that he did when he first became a monk and went and lived in the monastery . He hated the chore of washing all the dishes and everything and , but it came to him that he was doing it to honor God and to the glory of God , and so that helped him get through it . So that's the way I look at it . God has given me , blessed me with this home . We absolutely love where we're at at this point in our life and there's really not a whole lot to dust , so I really shouldn't complain . But I have , you know , I just put on music and just go with it , and I love the smell of the orange oil that I use when I dust the furniture , so there's always a little aromatherapy involved .
Speaker 1Yeah , that is nice . That is helpful . Engage your senses when you clean . Whatever you can do , you're hearing put on some music . Use nice equipment , like I like to use lovely tools . If I can find pretty tools to use and then nice . So that's your touch and then your smell .
Speaker 2Have nice smelling things when you clean Absolutely .
Speaker 1Very good . Okay , what about your worst homemaking fail ? I get a lot of Thanksgiving catastrophe answers on this question , but it could be anything really .
Speaker 2I think it probably wasn't that long ago I prepared a dish and I don't think it was fish I rarely cook fish in the house but there was something that when we sat down for dinner , my husband and I , we just looked at each other and went well , this isn't anything we'll repeat . And so it just did not turn out well and it had to . And I can't even remember what it was , but it was a dish that I cooked and it was just absolutely horrible and I spent so much time preparing it and then it . I don't even know if I could have added more seasoning or anything to it that probably would have improved it , but it was just one of those things where , no , we're not doing this ever again . I will say I make a great sandwich , oh , yeah , yeah , my husband loves my sandwiches . Cool , so he's . Yeah , we do that . Usually He'll eat three , fourths and I eat the other fourth , and that's the way we do it . That helps me mentally with . I'm not having the whole half , so not as many calories . So like .
Speaker 1Are we talking a Subway style sandwich ?
Speaker 2No , just on bread . And then we do have differences of opinion about the bread , because I'm a wheat , but I'm not talking about H-E-B brand wheat bread . I'm talking about earth grains or something like that . I used to make my bread and I loved to do that . But he's no , just give me the white bread . He's a real meat and potatoes guy . I also love to bake during the holidays . I should do it more often , even outside of Christmas , where I'll do the biscotti .
Speaker 1I make biscotti . I love .
Speaker 2everybody in the neighborhood loves my biscotti and I could probably start a business . But yeah , okay . So Cooking makes me happy .
Speaker 1It sounds like it .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1So what's your ? What's a memorable home-making achievement ?
Speaker 2Five quilts , really , yes , I made five quilts . Five quilts , yes , christmas quilts . Now , they were patterns , they were kits , that doesn't . But that was all during the achievement . That was all during COVID , too , wow . And so I ordered a new sewing machine online , and so , but what else was I going to ?
Speaker 1do during that time . So okay , so these were holiday quilts . You said they were , they were Christmas quilts , and did you ? You have a sewing machine , so you pieced them on the machine . Did you quilt them on the machine or did you quilt ?
Speaker 2them by hand ? No , I took them .
Speaker 1You took them too .
Speaker 2And paid someone . You are so wise that was above my bag , right . Let me tell you .
Speaker 1I mean , unless you have a ton of time on your hands and really great eyesight . I mean , quilting by hand is very therapeutic .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1It's just extremely time consuming , and if you're turning out several quilts like that , it's oftentimes worth it to hire someone who has a big , because what they do is they've got those big arm yes , those giant machines and they just feed it through the machine and it does these beautiful designs all over it .
Speaker 2I initially wanted to do it by hand . I some wonderful memories that I have when I was a child my mother's church they had missionaries they called them missionaries and every Friday they got together and they quilted , they hand quilted , and they had people lined up wanting them to quilt their quilts . And so when we were out for the summer I guess every once in a while my mother would take us over there and I can remember clearly we always called the women sisters and the men brothers . So sister Macy or sister Schaefer would always tell me my nickname was Katie . Did Katie , did you need to make those stitches a little bit shorter , because some man's toenail is gonna get caught in it , you don't ? So that that just I mean .
Speaker 2You know , I just thought of that when we're sitting here talking about it . But I had thought about doing it hand because I thought , you know , if I really want to say that I did something , I should do it by hand . And I probably did two squares by hand and I thought , nope , this is where the machine comes in . So that's when I ordered the machine and that I put them all together and then I would take them to the store and they would , and they have all the patterns and everything they can do Absolutely beautiful . So everybody got a Christmas quilt , that's so cool .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it was homemade and that you pieced them together , so it's not like I mean . I think that still totally counts .
Speaker 2And I was doing it too . I picked the theme , the characters , based on the individual's personality .
Speaker 1So that was a lot of fun too . I love that . Okay , so how about your top three homemaking tips ?
Speaker 2I don't know . Be passionate . Be passionate In whatever you do . So , for instance , the cooking , because I love to do that , I'm passionate about that and I enjoy it . So therefore , I think the vast majority of my meals turn out very , very well Cleaning , kind of like a Mary Poppins thing , put on some music and that makes it go by very quickly .
Speaker 2And just do it because you're doing it not for yourself , but you're doing it for the people that are around you and because you love them and you want them to have a happy environment . And that's why I do it and that's why I do it for my husband . And then , when I go to my kid's house , I have one daughter who she will allow me to go in because I love to organize . So I'm a real freak when it comes to organizing things . She lets me organize things maybe not anymore , because I did it one year and could not find her cutting board . So I actually ordered one and replaced it , and then she said oh , mom , I found it , it's like , but now you have an extra way .
Speaker 1But Wait , you couldn't find the cutting board because you organized it so well . You organized it away to know who knows where . I have no clue and I don't know where they found it .
Speaker 2Either it's like okay , whatever , that's so funny . No , I have everything . I mean everything's pretty organized , like my plastic storage . Things are all very organized , pretty organized . Yeah , my freezer's pretty organized . Pork , chicken , red meat , nice nice .
Speaker 1What's one ? Homemaking like appliance or tool , or even like product that you just can't live without Coffee pot , okay coffee pot .
Speaker 2Oh yes , first thing in the morning the coffee has to go on . As a matter of fact , I had a coffee pot that was auto I could set the timer on it and it went out about three weeks ago . I didn't want to re , I didn't want to spend the money to replace it , so I had a little old blackened decker and every morning when I do this and I have to remember to get up and push the button because I have to have the coffee before I take the dog for the walk at 7.30 in the morning , so I'm gonna have to replace the coffee pot with one with an auto timer .
Speaker 1It's just one of those things that has to be . It sounds like it . Okay , well , let's talk about the art of
home for just a minute . How do you see homemaking as an art , and how do you find beauty in the midst of what is often , you know , drudgery type work ? It's not the most beautiful work to clean toilets , so oh no , but they have a lot of tools .
Speaker 2I mean , you've got the toilet bowl wands , and with the chlorox spleen , that makes it easy . So I think again , just loving your environment . You create your environment to reflect you . It is who you are , and so then you want to make sure that it always reflects you .
Speaker 2So I add flowers you know , that's one of my things that I'll do every week or two weeks have to have fresh flowers in the house , burn candles when the husband's not around , because he comes behind me normally and blows them out because of his allergies . Bless his heart . But just know that God has put you where he wants you now and if it's a difficult place , see what it is . Maybe that you can grow from it . I don't know if this is . I don't know if this is the right thing to say .
Speaker 2You may want to completely cut this part out .
Speaker 1There's no right answer , but I like that you went to . If you're find yourself in a difficult place , yeah , because not every home is happy .
Speaker 2I mean , you know , sometimes you find yourself in my previous marriage . I did things because it was expected of me , not because I loved to do it . I did it because I had to .
Speaker 2I mean you know the big difference in people in your lives and the way they treat you , the way they talk to you . They can either encourage you or put you down . I love maintaining my home now because I love who I'm married to . I think that makes a big difference . I love the relationship that I have with God because I know that all of this came from him . I loved my children . I still love my children . That was the only reason that I stayed where I stayed as long as I did . But that didn't make it a happy environment . That didn't make it to where I loved doing what I did back then . I did it all for them . I stayed for them and they know this and I'm glad I did for as long as I did . But then , when I reached a point where I knew that for my emotional well-being I had to get out , I did , and I think they're better for that , or at least that's what they tell me .
Speaker 1Yeah , okay , well , thanks for sharing that . Why do you think that gratitude is important in the home and how have you seen gratitude impact your experience in the home ?
Speaker 2I am so grateful for my health .
Speaker 2I have a need that I complain about .
Speaker 2I have a shoulder that I complain about , but I did some things in my past where I developed a serious health issue and there was a pill for it , so I was cured . I am so grateful that God allowed me to be here today , that I did not have the addiction that I could have . I just didn't , and in my previous life I had in my hippie chick years . So many of my friends are no longer here because of their addictions and I did not have that . And I am so grateful for that because now I can look back on that and I can share that with people and I can talk to them about , maybe , problems that they are having in that direction even though I'm not a counselor and I don't even try to be but just my life experiences and I am just grateful that and I know this sounds maybe kind of funny I'm grateful that I went through what I went through , because that helps me to appreciate what I have today even more so and because I see where God delivered me .
Speaker 2He delivered me from so much and he didn't have to , but he loved me so much that he did and I'm healthy and that's really the miracle with it .
Speaker 1That's a great testimony . So what would you say to a younger woman coming behind you to encourage her in her walk and in her journey as a keeper of the home ?
Speaker 2Oh , my daughters , they know it is , so they're all funny . I mean , they all have the same issue where they work and then they go home . Husbands work , they go home . They may drop everything at the door entrance or on the floor . A woman's job does not end when she leaves the nine to five job . She is still the homemaker and so she still has to go in and make sure there's a meal on the table and still cleans the house . Because there aren't a lot of husbands that do that , even after they've worked all day . I know of one who does , and that is my son and step son . He's not a step son , a bonus son , christopher . He is such he is . He's the housekeeper in their home . He does an incredible job , but he's a rarity .
Speaker 2I will say and I think I could say that all my son-in-laws would be okay with me saying that but you just have to . You do it because you love the people that you're with . I mean , you may not be happy with it all the time , but you just do it because you love the people that you're doing it for and you're making that home for them and they appreciate it , whether they tell you that or not . So , but you do it . Do all things to the glory of God . I'll just keep that in mind . And that doesn't make it easy hearing that that does not get the clothes picked up off the floor or the clothes in the laundry room put into the washing machine . You still have to do that .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's a good answer . That's good . I like it Well . Thanks for sharing your story with me today . We're done .
Speaker 2You can relax now . Now you can go in and you can clip out everything you need to clip out .
Speaker 1Seriously , it was great , thank you for being here , thank you .
Speaker 2Thank you for asking me . Yeah , it's not really my story , it's God's story . Yeah , because I really love and especially at this point in my life I love looking back where I started at 18 , and now I'm 70 and where I am today . And you've just heard part of my story . You haven't heard it all . So I could actually we could sit here a lot longer . So many other different little fill-ins , but we won't do that . Okay , but anyway , but thank you .
Speaker 1You're welcome . Thank you so much for listening to this Homemaker Portrait of Kay Abbey . I hope you have found something in her story to encourage your practice of the art of home , and I'm sure that hearing about her experience of single parenting , working for jobs and the importance of a helpful and supportive community during those years might give you more awareness of how you can help single parents in your church and community , because they are there and they need help . Also , didn't you just love Kay's heart for and appreciation of the elderly ? That was a thread that I saw running all through her story . From her self-proclaimed hippie chick years to the COVID lockdown days , she has been spending time with the elderly , helping them but also learning from them . Do you have someone like that in your life ? What a blessing you could be to them and they could be to you over something as simple as a cup of coffee .
Speaker 1Well , that is all for this week . Links for today's episode will be in the description box . Don't forget to sign up for Homemaker Happy Mail , and I will be back next week with another seasoned Homemaker portrait . Until then , keep practicing your art of making the home , and it's pretty typical that when I'm recording somebody's doing lawn care somewhere nearby . That pretty much always happens . That pretty much always happens . Narrator .