Allison

Hello Homemakers , welcome to the Art of Home podcast , where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong . I'm your host , allison Weeks . I am a wife , a mom of four-grown kids , granny-to-one , baby boy , and I've been practicing the art of home for 31 years now . If you're new here , welcome . So glad that you found the show . If you're returning , thank you for coming back . Thank you all for trusting me with a little bit of your time today . I know you're busy , I know you're doing all the homemaker things and I'm just really honored that you chose to bring us along as you do your good homemaking work today . I hope that you will find something encouraging and inspiring to spur you on towards love and good deeds in your home as you listen to this story today . Before we get to today's episode , just a couple of quick reminders . First of all , we will not be doing any more deep dives for the rest of this year . I talked about that last week on the first episode of this season . We are in season 15 , by the way , this is episode two and the rest of the season will just be homemaker portraits . Actually , the rest of the year , more than likely , will just be homemaker portraits . We will also do our holiday homemaking series in December , just like we always do , so you can look forward to that . But the reason why we're not doing any more deep dives this year is because I wanted to give as many spots as I could to all of you who applied to be on the show , and that was just such a joy for me to see those coming in and to read the things that you wrote on your applications . I can't wait to hear your stories and I can't wait to share them with the rest of the audience . If you did apply and you did not get a spot , please don't be discouraged . I'm going to open applications again at the end of the year to get ready to start doing the interviews that will run in January and in February , so you can apply again . The best way to know when applications are going to be open and you can go and apply is by being on our newsletter mailing list Homemaker Happy Mail . That goes out every Friday morning .

Allison

My goal for Homemaker Happy Mail is just what the title implies . It's a little bright spot , it's a little bit of encouragement , a little bit of happy mail for you to open on your Friday morning to help you finish your work week strong in the home . It's also the best way for you to stay up to date on what is happening with the podcast and to get any of the extras that our guests share , so recipes , chore lists , meal plans , any of those kinds of things that they share with us . That's the best way for me to share them with you is through the newsletter , because I can't always attach files to show notes and most people don't even know where the show notes are . I don't even know where they are half the time . So the newsletter is the way to go . That's how I'm going to be sharing that with you all . So make sure that you're on that list . If you're not sure , just go to theartofhomepodcastcom Slash , subscribe and sign up there . And our guests today , tiffany Harris , shared a couple of fun things with us that you're going to want to get your hands on . So make sure that you go and sign up right now , if you haven't already , because that newsletter is going to go out on Thursday at midnight . Well , technically I guess that's Friday at midnight . Friday morning , first thing , 12am , that's when it's going out and that's central standard time .

Allison

So wherever you are in the world , you can do the math and , if you're interested , last week and for probably the next couple of weeks , I will be sharing a little bit about my summer , what I did this summer , including some of the travel that I did my first time doing some international travel . Well , I did do some when I was 11 , but I don't really remember that at all . So this has been a really fun adventure for my husband and I this summer and I shared some of the lessons that I learned in Switzerland last week about climbing really big hills with some pretty severe limitations and how that related to homemaking in my mind . Some people might think it's a stretch , but honestly I feel like , if we have eyes to see it , god is teaching us lessons all the time , through all things , in all situations . We just have to be paying attention . So I'll be sharing some more about Italy this week and then some of the rest of the things I did this summer in the weeks to come in the newsletter . So make sure you sign up . The art of home podcastcom slash subscribe .

Allison

In today's episode I'm talking with Tiffany Harris . She's a seasoned homemaker . She has been homemaking for 27 years with her husband Adam . They have raised four kids , while they still have one at home , but they have an almost empty nest and they are expecting their first grandbaby in December . One of their sons , nate , who they just delivered to his college dorm a couple of weeks ago , was blind from birth . They adopted Nate from China when he was 13 years old and she shares that story with us and it is really an awesome story to hear how God moved in all of the hearts of this family to adopt this young man into their home and into their lives and into their family .

Allison

So we get to hear that fun story . We get to hear all about Tiffany's ups and downs through all the moves that they had to do over the years and all the things that God has taught her . Through that , through her 27 years of homemaking , tiffany has acquired some great tips and ideas and tricks and she shares a lot of those with us in this conversation today . Whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen today , I know you will enjoy Tiffany's story of home .

Meet Tiffany

Allison

All right , welcome to the art of home . I'm here with my friend , tiffany Harris , who's going to share her story about being a seasoned homemaker her story of home . But before we go back to the beginning of your story . Tiffany , could you just introduce yourself ? Tell us a little bit about who you are today ?

Tiffany

Yes , tiffany Harris , I am married to Adam Harris . We've been married for 27 years . We have four kids , two girls and two boys . Our two daughters are both married , so our oldest is having a baby in December . It's a little boy . We're really excited . And then we have two boys . We have one that just moved out into a residential school in Austin for the school year , and then we have a son that is a senior in high school and I am a preschool teacher and I homemade as well .

Allison

Okay , so you've got a lot of big changes happening in your life right now . Yes , a lot . First , grandbaby , that's very exciting , it's wonderful . Yes , all the things they tell you about like there's nothing else like it that's totally true , nothing else like it Can't wait . And then so your son , who you just put you just delivered to his dorm . I saw your pictures about that , and so can you tell us a little bit about that ? Where is he going to school ?

Tiffany

Yes , so that's our son , nate , and he is attending Texas School for the Blind and visually impaired in Austin . He is a joy and a delight . We adopted Nate when he was 13 from China and he is completely blind . He came to school and started in seventh grade here , graduated this last May and got opened a door for him at Texas School for the Blind . He gets to come home every weekend and see us . We've heard from him frequently already . We just dropped him off on Sunday . He's loving it and we're just really excited for this opportunity for him to learn some life skills and things that he needs in his life .

Allison

That's so exciting . I'm sure we'll talk more about Nate and how he transitioned into your family as we go along with your

Beginnings & Expectations

Allison

story . So okay , well , let's go back to the beginning . When did you first become a homemaker and did you bring any skills with you into that role ?

Tiffany

Well , I became a homemaker in May of 1996 when my husband and I got married and I would say that I brought a few skills in . I am blessed with a wonderful mom . She was a stay-at-home mom . She created a great space for all of us and so I do feel like I had some skills heading into and as a newly married person , I did work but in just setting up our home and making it feel comfortable and homey and that kind of thing . So I felt like I was blessed to be able to have a mom . That was a good example for me heading into that .

Allison

That's really awesome . So what do you feel like was something you struggled with initially , something that you had a real steep learning curve for , that was cooking .

Tiffany

I did not have a lot of practice cooking . My mom cooked a hot meal every night , but it was just not something that I guess I was into , and so I did not do cooking when I was living at home . So thankfully , adam cooked for us like the first year , and I really that took me a long time to really get into cooking and actually enjoying it , but I just finally decided , after husband and a few kids like these people they need to eat and I've got to feed them and so I might as well embrace this . So that was the hardest thing , okay .

Allison

How well did the day-to-day reality of homemaking match your expectations , either for good or for bad ?

Tiffany

So I would say that all my expectations were pretty much met in what I had grown up seeing and then what I had started doing . So when we were very first married , I did work , and then we moved , a few months after we married , from Texas to New Mexico . Adam started a new job and I looked for work . I had just graduated from college and God very clearly closed that door . So I was able to go ahead and be a stay-at-home wife and work outside of our home or inside of our home actually and create an environment for us before we had children .

Allison

How long before the kids came along .

Tiffany

We moved to New Mexico in January of 1997 and we had Hannah in April of 1998 . So just a little over a year before we actually had kids that I was making our home as homey as possible , yeah .

Allison

And was that hard without children ? I mean , was it like you wanted to ? You were looking for a job because you had graduated from college , couldn't find a job . And then I mean , was it difficult to sort of accept , okay , this is even though there's no kids in the home , for me to stay home and take care of ? This is where God has called me right now is to be in my home as a stay-at-home wife .

Tiffany

So it was not difficult for me to embrace that . I was a little curious at first as to why am I not getting a job ? I just graduated and I was excited for the opportunity , in the hope of finding a job , that I really very quickly realized that God was just making it very clear that that was not what I was supposed to do and I really had always looked forward to creating , you know , just a very just being a stay-at-home mom , being , you know , being able to do that , and so it was not a hard transition . You know , moving to a new place , that was exciting . We were newly married , it was a new city , so there was a lot of excitement around that and that kind of kept us a little bit busy . Even in that it was ministry related , so we were connecting with the people at church and also that was not hard being , you know , not getting a job . Especially soon . I really realized that was God's grace and his desire . You know that I just he just didn't open the door , so yeah , yeah , that's good .

Allison

I know a lot of women struggle with that . If they're , you know , for whatever reason God is not bringing them children yet and they want to keep the home . And it's sort of like well gosh , like I need permission to stay at home if there's no kids to take care of . So because that's for a lot of people it's a lot longer than a year that they're waiting for those kids . So that was . I just wanted to ask if that was something that you struggled with . So once the kids start coming along , or even before , but just throughout your years being a homemaker and caring for children , what are some practical ways that you managed the household over the years ? What kind of things worked well and what didn't work well

Household Management / Special Challenges

Allison

that you can remember ?

Tiffany

Yes , worked well for me was a schedule , having a schedule , so making sure for me . I did the laundry , like sheets and towels , on Monday . I did towels again on Friday . I had certain days that I washed clothes , so I wasn't doing them every single day . I did cook all of our meals . At that point I was definitely getting better . I wouldn't say I was great , but I could definitely , you know , cook and so I planned .

Tiffany

I don't really remember what my early years of meal planning looked like , but as it grew I meal planning has become something that's very structured and that I do . It's definitely evolved . Just thinking a lot of , you know cleaning is something that I could control , that I could do that at least for a few minutes . You could see the lines on the carpet . You know the shelf was dusted , the toilet was clean and I feel like that I in some ways , I guess I , looking back , I learned a little bit lighter than I think I wished I had of that .

Tiffany

Really that's not important , you know . I don't know that I did it to the detriment of anyone , but I learned how to let you know certain things go for a little bit longer and in between cleaning and different things because it just it's just not that important I did . Looking back I realized it was something I could control , sometimes when I couldn't control other things . You know it was just a way that I was able to manage and all that . So stumps , you know , just the meal planning , cleaning on certain like I'd clean on Mondays , laundry on certain days . Those are just some practical tips and things you know that I had done to help me keep the home , you know , clean and straight and homey and just really engaging with my kids when they weren't home before they went to school , making sure that they were taken care of and engaging with them a lot .

Allison

So yeah , I think there is a balance definitely between you need those systems practically because things need to get done , but there's certainly a balance between having systems that work for you and having systems that kind of control you like you're a slave to those systems because , either because it makes you feel like you have some sense of control over things , like you were saying , or it's just because you know you worry about what if this doesn't get done , or what are people going to think if they come into my house and this isn't done or that's not done ? It's definitely something that , as a young wife , I had to learn that balance between how systems could serve me and our family well versus how I could become a slave to my systems and I could actually become a tyrant with my systems .

Tiffany

Exactly . Yeah , that's not what we want .

Allison

Okay , well , cool , let's talk just a little bit about special challenges . So what special challenges did you face in your home making journey and how did you work through those challenges to adapt and grow ?

Tiffany

I would say in special challenges that would be moving . We ended up moving more times than I think my husband and I ever thought we would or had internally planned on with ministry and every place that we've been has totally been a God thing . However , we did move several times and so that's always a challenge . When you're moving a whole house , you know , setting up in a new town and doing all the practicalities that come with that , but just keeping it home so that , no matter where we're living , when Adam and the kids come home from school or being out or whatever , that they're still coming to the same safe place . And that also included the way I handled it , because it's not obviously just about the things . You know where things are in the house or how clean it is or whatever . It's the feeling and the heart .

Tiffany

And so I knew , you know , I had gotten some really good advice early on from one of our very first pastors as we were moving , and she encouraged me to give myself a year as we moved and as we settled in , as you know , to give myself time to meet people , to not really judge the situation or , you know , be too hard on myself . And that was such a gift and it didn't even take a year because we , each time we've moved , we've felt God leading us to that next place , which means job for my husband . You know the church and so that , but that has . All I've always carried that with me each time we've moved , is just to , you know , do that , and then you know , I have the needs of the kids and and of Adam to to look at . So I think those are some special challenges that we have faced through this all these years of keeping a home and and all , I would definitely say , the moves for sure , but God's grace totally helped in all of that .

Allison

That is excellent advice that you received . We moved a lot also and for sure that that advice to just give it some time before you make judgments before you rush into . You know , well , I don't like this , or I don't like that , or what if this never gets resolved ? Or what if we never find , you know , a church or whatever ?

Allison

whatever the thing is just to give it some time , because it does take time to adjust to a new place . Okay , great . Okay , well , let's move on . If you're ready to move on to relationships , okay , relationships and hospitality . So how did you invite your kids into participating in homemaking with you ?

Tiffany

Great question . I Girls because there's , my girls are seven and five years older than our youngest Son and Nate . We ended up with Nate a little bit later , but I did include the girls in all things home . You know , like I did the basic things , but they , they helped wash dishes , they helped , you know , make their bed and do their room and all of those kinds of things . So really just by just living out daily life together . Then we added Jack , and then we moved again and I would say in all honesty , I would say that I probably have not included him as much as I did the girls , and not because he's a boy , but just in seasons . And then we had a couple of moves after we , you know , had Jack , and so it's just life and and all . But so I would say I included the girls when they were younger .

Allison

Mm-hmm . Well , I know that your daughter , hannah , who was a guest on the show before you , had a huge impact on her because she even talked about your lists , that you made her your helpful lists and you shared that with us and we were able to pass that on to our audience . So thank you very much for that . Sure , but I totally understand what you're saying about feeling like you maybe hit the bullseye with the older kids but miss the mark of it with the younger kids , because the more kids you add , that's more time that's being taken than just those daily activities . So it is a little bit harder to invite them into that , that experience .

Allison

I think with my boys , of course , my daughter she's the oldest and so I did invite her into all of the homemaking things . Being a girl , she was more interested , frankly , right , but the boys were interested in learning how to cook and I tried to do a little bit of that with them as part of our homeschooling . But after a while it just gets to be hard to manage with all the kids to be like , okay , yes , this is going to make a huge mess and I just really don't have time for that today . I guess I would . I don't know , maybe you could agree or not agree with me in this . I guess I would say to the younger ladies listening is to just again find the balance .

Allison

It's okay to have those days where you're like you know , I just this is not the day for me to invite them into the kitchen , or you know , take eight times as long as it will take to have them do the laundry with me or whatever , and balance that with do set aside some time , some very intentional time , to teach them skills , and it's never too late . Even when they're older , even if you've got teenagers at home , it's never too late to teach them those kinds of skills , because they're going to need it when they when they need it Absolutely . And they'll be . They'll be grateful .

Tiffany

Yes , absolutely . And I will say the one thing I did do was I did teach my girls to do their laundry and then , when we transitioned and moved into San Antonio and then we adopted Nate , I taught both of my boys , so both Nate and Jack do their own laundry . So yay to that Awesome Congratulations .

Allison

Yes , okay . So let's talk a little bit about hospitality

Hospitality

Allison

, and can you share with us a couple of practical ways that you showed hospitality through home making ?

Tiffany

I would say again , it's um , in thinking about this question , I would say that we are a really close knit family and I always wanted our home to be comfortable and safe and warm and inviting for our kids and my husband . And one thing that I do , that um , one way we celebrate is I decorate our mantles for every birthday , every holiday . That's just kind of like our place . You know where people can , like our family , can walk in and they're like they know what's coming and they're excited they're looking for it .

Tiffany

I can remember when Jack was younger , he would , he would start asking a few weeks out when we were going to start decorating for his birthday . Oh , I know that meant something to him . And the other thing we we started years ago and I even have pictures when Jack was old enough to like sit and join the girls . But every Friday night we have breakfast for dinner and we still do that and it just it's an easier meal to cook and who doesn't like breakfast for dinner ? Right ? So we , we would watch movies , um , and I believe we would let the girls , we'd all kind of take turns picking back in the day . Um , they'd set their little metal TV tray and have a little blanket and they'd we'd all just go in and and pile in the living room and have breakfast for dinner and have family time , and so that is . You know , that was very predictable and fun , and we we still do that now .

Allison

So oh , I love that example . Um , breakfast for dinner on Friday night , because most people do like Friday night pizza night . Um , and this is the first time I have heard anyone say they do breakfast for dinner on Friday nights . That is so smart because it's easy , like , whether you know , you can throw together some eggs and bacon , or , if you're feeling really fancy , I guess you can do some pancakes or waffles . That takes a little bit longer , but still that is so smart , really , really smart .

Tiffany

That's been really fun .

Allison

Cool . So those are some really fun ways that you guys uh , showed hospitality really to one another . I love the decorating the mantle for the birthday idea . I would have never thought to do that . That's so smart . Did you decorate it like a few days ahead , or ?

Tiffany

Yes , it depends on like how life is going , but sometimes it could be as early as a couple of weeks out .

Allison

Oh , wow , that's okay . I'm curious what do you put on the mantle for somebody's birthday ?

Tiffany

I have different uh banners , um , and those garland swags , uh , just , you know I've collected them over the years , so sometimes it's just the same old thing . It's not like I go out and buy a new one every time and then I do because I mean it's so fun to have a present . I still , gift bags are great and I do have a stash of gift bags that I save and tissue paper , but I do try to to get one , at least one or two gifts wrapped a little bit ahead of time and put those on the mantle too . I just hope it , you know because they're excited .

Allison

And it's pretty to look at . Yes , I love that . And then you're not going to lose the present , you're not going to forget where you hid it , because it's right there on the mantle . That's right . That's so cute . What a great idea . Um , okay , so what about , um ? Did you guys do much hospitality with your kids , friends or having other people come into your home out outsiders coming into your home ?

Tiffany

Not as much as I guess we would have liked . Um , which is our own doing , I guess , you know , and everybody's life and circumstances are different . I think for us and I've you know , I've said this to Adam before um , I had hoped and thought when the kids were younger that we would be the cool place to come hang out and it just it didn't work out like that , which isn't you know , it just is what it is . It's it's life , it's how the kids made friends and , you know , the invitation is extended to them to go hang out and all that kind of thing , and so it's not any deep regret or , you know , whatever . Uh , it's just , it's just the way things have gone . And you know , moving probably didn't help that a whole lot , um , as we were moving during the kids being at school , yeah , or you know , during school years and that kind of thing . But we really , um , obviously we we have had people in our home . We love when we do it , but it's not , you know , it's not something we do super frequently .

Allison

Yeah , well , and that's totally fine because it's , you know , like you said it , just it is what it is and it it depends on so many things in your life circumstances whether you have the time or you have um the availability , and you guys were also juggling bringing

Bringing Nate Home: An Adoption Story

Allison

Nate into your family , which is a whole other thing and I don't know when you want to talk about that . I would love to hear a little bit about that story , if , if , you're going to share some of that , sure .

Tiffany

Yeah . So we had , um , hannah , then Brooklyn and then , uh , jack came along in 2005 and in between Brooklyn and Jack , I had a miscarriage and we really thought we were done with our you know , when we had our two girls who were like this is so nice and cute . You know , there's two years and five months apart and our family's complete and I got pregnant and miscarried and then we just knew in our hearts that our family was not done . And we had lived in New Mexico at the time and we were actually literally I'd gone into the hospital with the miscarriage and three days later we moved to Texas , um , so I was going through that as we made a major move , fun times , but we knew in our hearts that we were going to have another baby . And along came Jack a couple years later , just a gift , and answered a prayer . And when he was about eight I guess he was eight , going to be turning nine . We'd already moved a couple of times , lived in a whole different city , and he came to us . He saw a couple of little boys playing and he sit . He looked at us and he said I want a brother . We're like , okay , yeah , that's awesome . And then Jack said for his birthday . He wanted a brother and his birthday it was like June and the birthday was in July and we said that's so cute .

Tiffany

However , ab and I prayed about it because we were like I'm adopted , and so , you know , we had talked about adoption before , but we were , we were just . We wanted to validate his , you know his thought . Where do we ? What do we do with this ? You know what ? What does this mean for our family ? So we landed on how about we sponsor a child ? Great idea , you know , we'll do it as a family . This is the best , you know , the best of all the worlds . So we , adam , made a contact . We found out about Bethel , which is an organization in China for blind and visually impaired kids , and we found a kiddo to sponsor , and we , adam , was praying for him . I was praying for him . I mean , I had written his name right down next to our biological kids names , and then one morning , I remember seeing his name and thinking oh my word , I know what I'm supposed to pray , but I don't want to say this out loud because I know what this is going to mean .

Allison

And .

Tiffany

I went ahead and prayed and then we made some kind of passing joke , adam , I think . Adam said he had a dream that I had a baby . And I just jumped I was like , oh well , maybe you know we should adopt . And he came back to me and he said in a few weeks I was washing dishes . He said were you serious about that ? And I started crying because I knew , because I had already told God I'm not going to say anything . I'm not going to say anything to Adam . I want Adam to say something first about this . You know if we're supposed to take the next step or whatnot , because I need to know . It's God . And Adam said something . And so I started crying and I told him kind of what I just told you and I said when did you feel like you know there might be more ? And he said when we started sponsoring him . I always kind of wondered I'm thinking you're just telling me now . And so we continued to pray about it because it's a huge thing . And we talked and we prayed , we talked to our family , we talked to our kids , we prayed some more and then we finally crossed that yes line in August of 2620 .

Tiffany

The years all run together , but we all traveled to China in June of 2017 . Nate had just turned 13 . And at the time in China , 14 was the age that they age out and cannot be adopted . So we , we picked him up five days after his 13th birthday and finalized his adoption there in China and then came back to the States in June of 2017 . And thus began our life with Nate Wow and our kids .

Tiffany

I was so proud of our kids I would , right at the very beginning and God knows what everybody needs . You know , adam was just a rock as we went through China . He took care of us so well and I just was so proud of the kids because there were just moments that were hard and they , you know , it was just when one of us was kind of sinking and really getting overwhelmed somebody else in the family kind of step up , you know , and help . So it just it flowed so well together . You know , just so thankful for our family . It was really one of the first big things that I think really started drawing our family Just super tight .

Allison

Wow , what a cool story . So how was the transition bringing him home and bringing him into the family ?

Tiffany

It was hard but it was good and you know you can . It's always important to follow peace when you feel like God's calling you to something and you're trying to lean in and listen like is this a view ? Is this not a view ? Easy does not mean right and hard does not mean wrong . And we really felt like you know , we felt peace . We felt like God said yes and we got him home and , given it's been , he's been in our family for six years , I can still although it's starting to dull , I can still remember how hard it was , that first I would say six months got a little bit less , got a little bit less hard , and then we kind of began to just really smooth out .

Tiffany

But the kids knew , you know , we talked to them early on in just our thought process , like how would you feel about this ? Jack was like I have a bunk bed , sure , why not ? You know , it was just that simple . There's that simple faith . The girls were excited . They totally supported our , both of our families extended , supported and so family wise . Again , we just kind of piggybacked off of each other . Hannah was still at home at that time , she hadn't gone to college yet and where she was in junior college here , brooklyn was still in high school , and you know , they , just , we , just we grew as a family , we grew as individuals and we knew it was , we knew it was God too , and so we , we grew as a family in that time together , right .

Allison

And Nate . Nate is blind , so he does have that that . You guys had to make all of the you know you had to make , I'm sure , maybe some physical changes to your home . I mean , you had to prepare for him to be able to safely live in your home . So how was that ? Was that a difficult transition or difficult to work through ?

Tiffany

That was not we . We did a lot of research and a lot of talking , joined some groups and I think our biggest concern was right next to him being blind was how was he going to learn English ? I mean , how are we going to communicate ? And everybody , they would just kind of do this little chuckle and say it'll be okay , he'll get it , and we're like , okay , I guess , you know , school was great for him . They did a fantastic job .

Tiffany

When Nate was in China , he did have a little bit of English . He had a teacher that would come in and so he knew a little bit . But as far as him being blind , he's always been blind and that was one of the things that struck Adam when he was looking at one of the children to sponsor and kind of looking at their profiles and all Nate was notorious for like running across the . I mean he knew his surroundings , where he was living , but he , I mean he just does everything fast and he , he many times operates like he can see and he cannot , which ends abruptly at times , but he just has a great sense of himself in space and so really the transition for him being home it was did not even take a week before he was running up on the stairs getting around in the kitchen . That that part was way easier and in English did come along with three siblings and a mom who can talk , which is up to him , and he was very motivated to pick it up .

Allison

So yeah , that's good . Well , I did not know that you were adopted also . Yes , so was that part of you ? Think God was using that to motivate your heart to want to adopt eventually ?

Tiffany

Probably yes , I . It was a positive experience in my life . I always knew I was adopted . I was a baby . It was a domestic adoption and so I think you know , when Adam and I first I started saying first dating but we weren't talking about when we first started dating , but at some point in our dating engagement we did talk about , you know , adoption and you know how , how it went for me and how it went for me . Obviously , there were two very different circumstances , but at the heart of it it's the same , you know , and so I feel like that heart was in in us to do that . That was something that God would call us to do , which he did .

Allison

So , yeah , I'm always amazed at people's adoption stories , whether it was them or their child . And you know , I imagine that those , all those scriptures that speak about adoption , it should bring , so you know , beautifully , in all of our hearts . But for you yes . Both . You've got it on both ends your own experience and then Nate's experience being adopted . And you know we're all about talking about home and family .

Allison

And here you brought a child who didn't have a home . I mean , he had a home in an orphanage , but he didn't have a home and a family , right , and I'm sure that's just brought so much meaning to the scriptures that talk about us being adopted into God's family and his home . Okay , well , thank you for sharing about your story about how Nate came into your family .

Allison

That is just really awesome . How about

Homemaking Seasons

Allison

we'll move into seasons of homemaking now ? And I'm sure that transition was difficult and had its own you know we've talked about that , about the things that you guys had to work through . Was there any other time , any other season throughout your experience as a homemaker ? That was difficult for you .

Tiffany

I think , in homemaking and the different seasons , kind of reflecting back , I think , thank you , when our girls probably went after Brooklyn had graduated , that was a little bit of a different season . I was very excited for both of our girls , you know , for all the things growing up , launching , you know all the things . I think it just you kind of look back and go well , that happened fast and then they're on their own and they're not living at your house and that was , you know , just even in grocery shopping and just kind of daily life and it didn't take long but you know , on a heart level it takes a little time and then just you know , kind of looking around the reminders that they're not here anymore , you know they don't live here anymore in their they're on their own . That was a big season I think we have for us and change and challenge , you know , in that transition . When we moved here , it was another one of those times because I have said we have moved a few times .

Tiffany

When we moved to here we lived in Rockport and we moved to San Antonio and our natural inclination when anyone knows something is happening in someone's life , especially good , like , oh , are you so excited , you know and all that , and I just decided in my mind like I kind of like that question and I'm not gonna ask people that question anymore because I was not excited . I knew it was right and I knew it was God . And I also knew when we had made this decision we really prayed through it and we knew we were moving from Rockport to San Antonio . I knew God was in it and I knew God wasn't just in it for Adam . He was in it . You know , he had something for me . He had something for each of our kids and at that time we did not , I think we were sponsoring Nate , but we didn't know exactly where that was going and you know , god was just so faithful . It was a really big move . Hannah was gonna be a junior . We had a daughter entering a very large high school as a freshman . We had Jack was gonna be in fourth grade .

Tiffany

But I knew that it was God and it unfolded . You know I had to give myself that time that that pastor's wife , years ago , had told me and I needed a little bit longer this time to settle in and to , you know , help this house feel like a home and to help our kids feel like they were at home . And then I saw God do unbelievable things , so I know what kind of I'm talking about . Difficult . So it was a difficult transition , even though it was the right transition . And then we just saw God in every aspect , in every single possible way , and it did not come without much pain and heartache , that God redeemed it and it just and even us not knowing about Nate and that he was gonna be part of our family to see the resources that were at his beck and call . I mean , just again , just a God detail . God had already gone before us and he knew . And so you know , reflecting back , what started out as a really difficult season in that time ended up being , you know , just another story of God's faithfulness .

Allison

I love that . I wonder how many stories of God's faithfulness we miss because we dig in our heels . You know , and refuse to budge , or you know for whatever reason , out of stubbornness or fear , or I don't want to be uncomfortable , I don't want different . But yeah , when you know he's calling you to , that we're called to be obedient and trust that . He has already gone before us , like you said , and you know he knows what's coming down the road . We don't , so that's a good testimony . Thank you for sharing that . So what about right now ? What does your homemaking look like in the season that you're in right now , and how are you still challenging yourself to grow and learn as a homemaker ?

Tiffany

Yeah , very good question . I would say that literally in this week , our life has changed and we have one child living at home right now . I am a preschool teacher and I have this . This will be this school year is my third year , but I'm transitioning from being an assistant in a four or five-year-old classroom to being a teacher of a three-year-old classroom , and so it's a very exciting season , and so homemaking does look a little bit different .

Tiffany

I only work at the day school four days a week , so that's really nice . I do have Mondays off and I really enjoy the routine and the rhythm of having a part-time job , because it really helps me organize around that . And again , as I used to kind of be systems driven , you know like I've got to complete this and I've got to complete that . I have systems , but they're a lot . I'm in a healthier place with the systems as well , and I had heard a saying , and I don't know who said . I've thought about it several times .

Tiffany

I don't know who said it , but I , especially during the school year which is about to start up for me , I try to do things that my tomorrow self will thank my today self for , and so four nights of the week .

Tiffany

You know we get up , clean up the dishes and then I make my lunch . There's just , I have a little routine , several things that need to be done and it takes a little bit of time , but it would still take time the next morning when I'm tired and I don't want to be in a rush . I don't like rushing . I think it's important for you to know yourself , know your areas of weakness , know where you struggle and , like I just don't like rushing in the morning and so I work really hard to you know , be pretty structured and have a real good system in place of meal planning . My meal planning is very organized and then just having everything done for at least the four nights before you know I'm going to school the next day , so that can be very smooth , yes , so yeah , no , that's so wise to know thyself .

Allison

I mean , really , you know , get to know what it is that really rubs you the wrong way and prayerfully do it . Prayerfully be like okay , lori , is this something you're refining out of me or is this just something that I need to know , that I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm going to have to , you know , like for you it's rushing , being rushed . If I sat and thought about it for a minute , I could probably come up with one for me . That's something for me too . I don't like to feel like I'm behind , like I'm , you know , rushing ahead because I'm behind , because I get mad at my past self , like I could have done this a long time ago or , you know , last night or whatever . So , yeah , I don't like that either , but it is really very wise to know yourself and know your limits .

Homemaking Q&A: Fails, Wins, Tips & Favorites

Allison

Okay , cool . Well , let's move on and let's talk about homemaking tasks . I'm going to ask you some quick questions and you can give me a quick answer or tell me more if you would like . So what is your worst homemaking fail ?

Tiffany

I thought about this and I do have a funny story . I guess you could call this a homemaking fail . I never really did Thanksgiving like I have to cook for it , and so since we have lived in San Antonio , I will say so you know , I've been married 27 years can do that . I got all excited . I found a turkey you know , buy a turkey for Thanksgiving and I was so impressed that the price on it was like $4.51 cents . I was like can you believe this is on sale or whatever ?

Tiffany

Wow , not really knowing until afterwards that that was like the price per pound and that's like after it was purchased and I have saved that tag , I cut it off and I have laughed about that and that's just a funny story . But in all truth , I think what I said earlier was I do wish that I had learned earlier on that it is not about cleaning the house , being busy with tasks , you know , to check off a to-do list or to feel more in control or whatever , and so I think that is one aspect of homemaking that I really wish I had done differently you know earlier on , yeah , okay , cool .

Allison

What about an achievement , a memorable achievement ?

Tiffany

I would say I don't . I thought about this question too and it has been such a joy watching both of my girls get married and make their way in homemaking in their own respective ways . They're different . They're not like night and day different , but they're doing a great job and I guess that just really feels good in my heart . I'm hoping that you know I had a little something to do with that , but it's just a joy to watch them come into their own and watch them succeed at that .

Allison

Yeah , oh , that's great . Okay , how about your favorite homemaking hack or tip that you'd like to share ?

Tiffany

Homemaking hack or tip . A couple of years ago I reassessed my kitchen and I decided I am pulling I'm like digging to the back of the cabinet to get stuff that I use frequently . So I pulled everything out and I re-arranged . I got rid of a bunch of stuff , stuff that I kept thinking in the back of my mind , someday I'll use that . And a friend of mine encouraged me one day , my someday is someone's today . So if I could get rid of something , just get rid of it , because my someday is never going to come . So , cleansed a lot of stuff , purged a lot of stuff and then just put everything that I use very practically at my fingertips . So I'm not digging to the back and bottom of cabinets . That is mine .

Allison

That's great . No , that's a great tip . I love what you just said . You said wait , let me make sure I got this right . You said my someday is somebody else's today . Yes , okay , meaning it's going to sit there for someday , and that might be 10 years and somebody else could use it today . So give it to somebody else yes . Very good , that's a great tip . I like that . Okay , how about a home-making tool or product that you cannot live without ?

Tiffany

I love the Dawn soap . That has no cap , it does not have a lid and it sits upside down in your counter like you would think it's upside down . You just pick it up and you squeeze it .

Allison

Oh , like it squirts Like it squirts out . Yes , yes , but you don't have to open a lid .

Tiffany

No , oh , you literally just pick it up from the counter , hold it over your dish , squeeze it and then set it back down . You don't have to turn it over , you don't have to squirt . I mean like you don't have to open a lid or anything . Yeah , lived by that . Oh , I did not know .

Allison

Like that was the thing , that's a good one .

Tiffany

And I also . This is personal , but I have found the best soap from Trader Joe's body soap . It's an exfoliating soap . It's lavender and ginger . I realize everybody doesn't like lavender and or ginger , but it smells wonderful , it feels wonderful . It's just a pampering thing for your health of yourself .

Allison

That's so nice . So , Trader Joe's , is it a seasonal item or do they have it all the time ?

Tiffany

I believe they have it all the time because I just when I bought it and then I was like I want to make sure I get another one , I went in they had a full stock and it is a bar soap and a paper wrapper and lavender ginger exfoliating soap .

Allison

I buy my soap there . I buy their lavender . It's just lavender , it's a bar , it's purple . It's not in a paper wrapper , it's in the cellophane wrapper . It's like a French brand , but it's a . The best price is there . Yeah , but I've not seen the lavender or ginger exfoliating , so I'm going to have to look for that next time A nice big bar .

Allison

Okay , I'm going to check that out . Good , thank you for that tip . Uh-huh , okay , this is a new question . Okay , I always , I'm always interested to know what's your signature dish Like if you're going to a potluck what everybody knows Tiffany Harris is going to bring this dish or if your kids are having their meal and they're like this is the dish I want you to make mom , what are you famous for ?

Tiffany

I did ask my family this . No one could give me a straight answer . However , I would say I would say that my blueberry baked oatmeal dish is the one that when I need to take something to school for potluck lunch or something , or brunch , that's the dish I take and I think all but when my kids really likes it .

Allison

Okay . Is that a bake ahead , like , can you prepare it ahead of time and throw it in the oven in the morning , kind of thing , or yes , okay , you can . Those are the best , that's the best . Yes , all right . Would you be willing to share this recipe with our ?

Tiffany

audience . Absolutely , I'll send it to you . Oh , yay , awesome , thank you .

Allison

Uh-huh , okay . Well

The Art of Home

Allison

, let's talk a little bit here at the end about the art of home . Yes , okay . How do you see homemaking as an art , and where do you find beauty in the art of homemaking ?

Tiffany

I think homemaking as an art , because art is so personal and what any individual finds beautiful or looks at and thinks of art . I think it's beautiful that it is so it's something we can experience collectively , but it's still so unique and so personal and I think that that makes it an art .

Allison

Yeah , Definitely . What are some of your favorite things in homemaking ? Things that you find beautiful ?

Tiffany

Things I find that are beautiful in homemaking are providing a safe , warm , loving space for my family .

Tiffany

I know that sounds pretty , I don't know traditional or whatnot , but I just Kind of , like I shared earlier , just when it's their special time , decorating the mantle or making their favorite dish , anticipating when they come through the door and greeting them , kind of their demeanor , and seeing how I can encourage them or just not ask 20 questions , giving them a few minutes when they come in and anticipating their needs and I like also like turning on lamps in the evening and just kind of those rituals and routines that come with being in the home , I think , sometimes in the dark of the morning and hearing the coffee pod and having a soft lamp on in the quiet time or at night turning that lamp on and the outside lights on , locking the door and just kind of settling in .

Tiffany

There's just some , there's comfort in the routine and also I think that's beautiful . I do come like our back depth too , because it has got flowers on it and we have a lovely view of the sun rise every morning , and so that's just something that I physically love about our house , our view and the trees and the flowers in the back and that really speaks to me .

Allison

I love that , I love . Yeah , I'm totally , totally with you on the turning the lamps on at night either , or very early in the morning , and just that coziness that it creates that cozy feeling , but also that it is , it's something about the rhythmic nature of it . This is something that I do , it's like a ritual every day at five o'clock-ish around five .

Allison

I do this little routine and I particularly like doing it in the fall and the winter , when it's pretty much dark at five o'clock and I go around and I light the candles and I turn the music on because it's time to wind down for the day , and I do that on a regular basis . It's so comforting .

Allison

And it's comforting for the other people who are here when my husband comes home and not that this happens every day , but when he comes home and I've done that routine and the candles are lit and I'm busy in the kitchen chopping things , but there's some music on the TV and that is comforting to him , rather than walking into an empty house or chaos .

Allison

I mean sometimes that happens , but those routines are just . That does bring beauty into our lives , but we have to be able to slow down and be a part of them . We have to be home to experience them , and so often in our busy world . We're never home . We're running around doing things all the time .

Tiffany

Yes , and I would like to add , I have to brag about husband on something that he's brought into our home as something that really adds to the environment is . He has playlists and so whenever I'm making Mexican food , he'll play like mariachi music and if it's .

Tiffany

Italian food . He's got an Italian playlist and he's actually got a playlist . You would not believe the amount of songs that are about food . I love that and so he's got a lot of fun songs and so , and of course , our son is from China , so when I make Chinese food he'll play the Chinese music , and so that's something that we always have musical when we're eating and it pretty much always reflects whatever flavor of food we're having or it's just super fun and I love that he's . I mean , we've done that for the last several years . So you know , our kids that's so great . Yeah , it's a lot of fun , so I love it .

Allison

Yeah , Thank you for sharing that . I want to say . Somebody else told me that somebody else I interviewed and I oh , Hannah , does Hannah do that ? No , it wasn't Hannah .

Tiffany

I don't know .

Allison

Somebody else said that . Well , it probably wouldn't be Hannah , because her husband is deaf , but anyway , that is such a good idea , so thank you for sharing that . Make your playlist related to the food that you're cooking . What is one thing that about homemaking that you regularly give thanks for ?

Tiffany

Do you know , whenever I buy groceries I put them as I'm putting them away , I just thank God that we have food . As simple as that is . I just I don't know . I really that was something I believe my mom really worked hard to cultivate and helped cultivate a heart of thankfulness in us kids , and so there are a lot of things I regularly thank God for . But just off the top of my head , you know , as I'm putting groceries away or being able to cook a meal , thanking God for that blessing . Yeah , definitely , and good .

Allison

Yeah , that's a good one . Well , let's talk to the younger women . As we close here today , what is a word of advice or encouragement that you would give to younger homemakers ?

Tiffany

Being that I have two daughters that are young , I , in keeping that in mind , I would say know yourself . I mean , obviously we're going to grow and change and learn and all of those things , but just in knowing yourself and the things that you value and the things you want to spend your time and your energy on , really consider that . I personally don't have a lot of knickknacks and things because I don't want to have to test all those things . You know , it's just a practical you know kind of consider the things that you want to be using your time on . And I would also caution that systems are good , but approach them in a healthy manner and don't let the systems boss you . You boss the systems and let them work for you . Yeah , I would say Great .

Allison

Well , that's some great encouragement . I have just really enjoyed this conversation . We had a few technical difficulties , but we got through it , praise God . Yes , thank you so much for sharing your story of home . It's really been a joy to get to know you better and hear about your family and your home .

Tiffany

Well , thank you , I've enjoyed being here and talking with you .

Allison

All right . Thank you so much for listening to this Homemaker Portrait today of Tiffany Harris . I hope that you have found some encouragement and inspiration through Tiffany's story to do the good work of your home with joy , confidence , skill and creativity . A couple of standout moments for me in this conversation . Of course , I totally relate to her trying to be in control through her systems and understanding that if you don't keep that in check , your systems end up ruling you and ruling the house and making everybody miserable . What we want is we want our systems to work for us , and that was a really valuable lesson that Tiffany learned and I learned and am still learning .

Allison

I love when she said that bringing Nate home was hard but it was good , and how important it was to remember that they needed to follow peace when they were seeking what God's will was moment by moment and day by day through this whole thing . Easy does not mean right and hard does not mean wrong . I really really love that quote . Just because it's easy doesn't mean it's the right path , and just because it's hard it doesn't mean you're on the wrong path . Oftentimes it's on those hard paths that God is forming and shaping us . He uses those paths to draw us to himself , help us to realize how much we need him and then to strengthen us . Just like walking up that steep hill like I talked about in the newsletter last week made me realize that I am completely dependent upon the Lord , not just to get up this hill but in all things in life , and that I need to allow him to strengthen my muscles both spiritually and physically so that I can do those hard things that he's calling me to do . So that was a really great lesson that really hit home to me because of what I had just been mulling over and writing about last week in the newsletter .

Allison

Oh , and then her favorite hacker tip that she shared about her friend telling her your someday is someone else's today , so get rid of it . She was realizing that she was constantly rummaging through things in the cabinet to get the things that she used every single day , because she was holding on to so many things that , well , I might use this someday , I might need this someday . I remember I used to follow someone back in the day when everybody was reading blogs before really social media took off , and she talked a lot about renting from Goodwill . She would view those extra things that she might need someday , as not something to just hang onto and clutter up her space , but something she could give away so that somebody else could use . Give it to Goodwill , and when she needed that thing , she would go to Goodwill and very likely there would be something just like it or something very comparable that would fill her need at that moment , and then she could bring it back to Goodwill when she was done Win-win . Now that does require some thought and some careful consideration , because you don't want to be running back and forth to Goodwill to quote unquote , rent an item that you use on a regular basis . In that case , you want to find a way to give it a good home in your home so that you can access it readily and easily , and that will probably mean getting rid of some of the clutter that is getting in the way of that .

Allison

Well , that's it for this week's episode of the Art of Home podcast . I'm going to go outside and sit on my deck and enjoy the rainstorm that is just blown in . You guys , I haven't seen rain at my house now . We were gone a little bit , but I haven't seen rain here since early July , and it is now late August . We need the rain so badly and I'm so grateful for it , so I'm going to go sit outside enjoy the sound of the rain . I hope that you have a wonderful day doing all the homemaker things and I will see you back here next week with a brand new homemaker portrait . Until then , keep practicing your art of making a home .

Tiffany

Yes , and I do have a question . Can you hear the song happening , happening in the background ?

Allison

I did hear something just now Is somebody doing woodwork ?

Tiffany

And so really , I didn't feel like there were any surprises . Someone's at the doorbell , Okay . So I'm going to try that question Third time's a charm .