Allison

Hello , homemakers , and welcome to the Art of Home podcast , where we are exploring how Homemakers cultivate a place to belong . I'm your host , allison Weeks . I'm a wife , a mom , two for-grown kids , granny to one baby boy , and I've been practicing the Art of Home for 31 years now . Today on the show we have our very first listener guest . So if you've been listening lately , you know that I opened up applications for all of you to apply to be on the show , and today's guest is the first one of those applicants , so I'm very excited to introduce her to you today . Before we get into her story , I just want to welcome all of the listeners , whether you've been here from the beginning or you are a brand new listener . Thank you for tuning in , Thank you for trusting me with some of your time today . I know you're busy doing all the homemaking things , all the really good work of the home , and I appreciate that you're willing to take us along with you as you do your good work today . Today marks the halfway point in Season 15 , and we will have three more episodes after this one to round out our season , and it's going to be all brand new Homemaker portraits of listeners , just like you , and then we will have another season in the fall where we will have six more Homemaker portraits and then we'll be doing our traditional series , holiday Homemaking , where we talk to all of the Homemakers that we have featured on the show this past year and they share their Christmas memories and their hints and tips and their stories and recipes . It's really fun and I always learn a lot from these ladies and I get some really great recipe ideas . So keep that in the back of your mind that you're going to want to listen to that as we get closer to the holidays . But I'm not going to rush ahead to that next season yet , because it's not even fall yet . Here in South Texas we still have triple digit days . I did do a little bit of early fall decorating no pumpkins yet , just some green and yellow apples and a few more yellow accents . I took down all the red , white and blue stuff in the house . It kind of helps me transition from my summer red , white and blue decor into all the fall colors and the pumpkins , which we are just not ready for that yet , really not until like the end of October . So anyway , that's a fun thing that I've been doing lately to sort of wind down my summer of homemaking .

Allison

And , speaking of that , if you want to hear a little bit more about what I've been doing this summer in my homemaking , make sure that you are signed up for our weekly newsletter , homemaker Happy Mail . It's totally free . It comes out every Friday morning during our regular seasons . I share all of the show notes for each of the or for the episode that just aired , specific show notes and links and recipes that they share . That's not , as the place to get it is in the newsletter . I also share different things that I'm finding interesting , whether it's a great YouTube channel or an article that I read or a book that I read or can recommend to you . And then lately I've been sharing my memories of this past summer , some of the things that I did , some traveling , some stories and lessons that I learned while we were traveling overseas this summer for our first international trip , my husband and I , and I'm going to be sharing a little bit more about some homemaking lessons that I learned right here in my own home this week and then maybe next week in the newsletter as well . So you'll want to make sure you get subscribed to that . If you're not , go down to the show notes and click the link , or go to theartofhomepodcastcom slash subscribe .

Allison

Well , I'm not going to chatter on anymore because this is a little bit of longer conversation that I had with Samantha Bain . She is the subject of this homemaker portrait , which I can't really put her into one of the categories because , although she is quite young in age , she started pretty early . She got married fairly young and started having her children right away . So she's more like her experience is more like an in the trenches mama . But she is a newbie sort of , because she's just been married five years , but she does have two kids and she has a lot of wisdom for a 25 year old .

Allison

So I know that you're going to really enjoy this conversation and you're going to be edified and you're going to learn some things from Samantha . So , whatever you are applying your hand to you as you listen today , I know you will enjoy Samantha's story of home .

Meet Samantha

Allison

Welcome to the art of home . I am here with Samantha Bain and she's my very first listener interview . So I opened it up last , last month to listeners to apply and Samantha applied and I'm so happy that I get to meet her today and talk with her . And so , samantha , before we go back to the beginning of your story , why don't you just introduce yourself to the audience and just tell us a little bit about who is Samantha today ?

Samantha Bain

Thank you for having me , allison . I'm a wife and homemaker of five years . I'm a mom to two toddler boys , ages four and one and a half , so we're pretty busy these days . I'm homeschooling the preschool years with my four year old right now . Our family just had a big transition in life . We went from one busy life season to another .

Samantha Bain

We not to go too far back , but my husband just completed grad school and completed his PhD and during that time he was also working in ministry to contribute to our family's income . So when he completed grad school we took a job up in the Virginia areas . We left Tennessee , moved up here to Virginia . We're learning to adjust , being a little bit further away from family and our support that we had there . So that's come with some challenges this summer , but we're adapting to those and growing closer as our own family unit and are really enjoying that . We're saving for a homestead , but I'm taking this time right now to accumulate the skills that I need to be a good homestead wife . I love any skills related to home . I've enjoyed learning about sourdough , soap making , gardening , as I've had the property to do so . I enjoy canning . I also enjoy taking family portraits and taking up sewing and embroidery as I have the time .

Allison

Oh , that's so fun . So saving up for a homestead , that is very exciting .

Samantha Bain

Yeah , we love the land , we love a simple lifestyle . I've always been interested in it . I guess it kind of boomed after 2020 , but it's been a dream of mine for probably 10 years now to have a homestead . So we're just gathering skills as we have opportunities .

Allison

That is so cool . Do you have an idea of how large of a piece of property you're looking for and what kind of animals you want to have , or anything like that ?

Samantha Bain

We'd like to keep it relatively small scale , just for a family , more of a hobby homestead , not production . I would love a dairy cow but I'm not sure if we're going to be ready to commit to that . I guess we'll see how life is going with homeschooling and children . I would also like maybe some goats for sure , chickens , garden , just having a little bit to dabble in and teach our kids about the land .

Allison

Yeah , yeah , especially when you're homeschooling . That would be really awesome . Yes , very , very cool . Okay , well

Homemaking Beginnings

Allison

, let's go back to the beginning . Why don't you just tell me when do you feel like you first became a homemaker and when you did step into that role , did you have any skills ?

Samantha Bain

Okay , I officially became a homemaker when I was married . I lived at home during the college years . I graduated high school at 17 and then I did college four years of college quickly within three years . So I was 20 when I graduated and was married . So that was when I officially left home .

Samantha Bain

But I always enjoyed homemaking skills . When I was a kid I always enjoyed fluffing my room and moving furniture around , kind of redecorating as I had opportunity , although my mom will tell you that it was often messy . I was not a clean freak when I was a kid . Now I'm fairly organized and I have to keep things pulled together for my sanity , but back then it was a hot mess . I always enjoyed cooking and baking as a kid . Sewing gardening I was a self-taught canner at ages 15 or 16 . 4-h was a big motivator for that . I was a 4-H kid growing up fourth grade on up and I loved the old-fashioned skills aspect of that . 4-h is going through a whole transition now where they're trying to see how to keep kids involved in this modern age . But I really think it's so important to keep some of those old-fashioned skills that tend to be associated with the 4-H program . I was just as active in the family consumer sciences side as agriculture during those years .

Allison

Okay , so we have had one other person on the show before who was really involved in 4-H all growing up . That was Jan Lockhart from way back in the first couple of seasons I think it was the second season , yeah and she did it too from like fourth grade or something like that . So just can you explain a little bit about what that is ? Because you just said there was two sides to 4-H there's the ag side and then there's the what did you call it ? Family .

Samantha Bain

Family and consumer sciences . Those are the elements that are typically thought of when you think about the good , old-fashioned 4-H program . They started out with the corn clubs , which were for boys , and that was a lot of agriculture instruction . And then they had the tomato clubs for girls , which was more family , consumer science oriented canning , some of those home making arts . Yeah , now it's very diversified . There's so many . You can study engineering and computer science , all these different programs , but I very much gravitated to the old fashioned , traditional projects within the 4-H program .

Allison

And I love when I hear about people that had that opportunity , because a lot of places don't have 4-H anymore . A lot of rural communities like every community used to have it but they don't so much have that anymore . So that's a really that was a big advantage for you to have that . Did you take it all the way through school ? You said I did yes , like through high school .

Samantha Bain

Fourth grade all the way up through high school , my final main project I guess , because I capstone to my 4-H career . I guess you could say I was the state project winner in the clothing and textiles project . So I got to go on to National 4-H Congress in Atlanta because I was the winner in Tennessee for that project . Oh , cool .

Allison

What did you do ? What was your project ?

Samantha Bain

So we had to submit a portfolio . It was a record of projects we had done throughout the year , so it was a culmination of everything I had been doing in 4-H . There were also aspects of citizenship , communications , leadership , et cetera , and you presented this book that they would judge , and there was also an interview aspect to that as well . So it was giving youth the opportunity to practice for a job interview early before . It was critical to applying for jobs and whatnot . Oh , cool .

Allison

That's cool . That's so interesting . I didn't know I never was involved in 4-H so I didn't know all of those that they had national level competitions and things like that .

Samantha Bain

And every state is different . That's just how Tennessee chose to do that .

Allison

Okay , cool , well , okay , so let's go back to our . We chased a little rabbit trail there , but I was interested to know more about that , so it sounds like you did have a lot of skills , really really practical skills , from your 4-H experience . Were there any skills that you just stumbled a bit in and had a steep learning curve for ?

Samantha Bain

I would have to say that budgeting was the hard one for me . Not that I had never had exposure to budgeting and the like , but I have learned as a homemaker that just any time there's an income change or a job change where you're on a different pay period , it's hard to adapt the budget . My mom has been a homemaker for over 30 years now . My dad had a career change last year and I know she was having to adapt from going . They were getting paid twice a month , to believe monthly , and she was talking about what an adjustment that was . So even this year , I've been doing budgets strictly for five years , but when we had this new job change I found that it took some maneuvering to make it work for us this time around . It was also hard in the beginning . We just didn't have a lot to work with , and figuring out which budget categories you prioritize is hard . I way underestimated how much groceries were going to cost .

Samantha Bain

I can't remember exactly what my numbers were , but I had to up it by a good $100 , $200 . We weren't living fancy by any means . Some resources that have helped me a lot . We worked through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University . That was really helpful for us to get our finances in order . Lately my budget looks like the system that the budget mom uses . She has a budget by paycheck method and that's been really helpful for me lately . I find that having it go by paycheck instead of by month because we're on a bi-weekly pay period now it's a lot easier for me to feel like I'm getting those quick wins with budgeting . I can stay on track a lot easier .

Allison

Yeah , those are some great resources . The budget mom ? I haven't heard of that before . Is that a website or YouTube , or what is ?

Samantha Bain

She has a blog . She has a store as well . I've adapted some of her free resources to work for me . If you're starting with a really low budget , you don't have to invest in all of her tools , but she has a lot of helpful tools out there .

Allison

Does she have a budgeting software tool , or does she recommend a certain one for you , or do you use that at all ?

Samantha Bain

I'm not sure if she has a digital software tool . She has books , so it's very simple , I think what she's done is she's adapted her budget systems throughout the years . As she releases a new and improved budget sheet , she puts the old ones up in her free resource library . That's what I'm currently using .

Allison

That's what you're using like pen and paper or budget sheets .

Samantha Bain

Yes .

Allison

Yeah , Are you managing the household ? Pretty much you're in charge of managing the household budget . Is that your responsibility ?

Samantha Bain

I am . Yes , dave Ramsey talks about it . He says you have your nerds and your free spirits . The nerds are the ones oh yes , I have to stick to . I have to have it on paper to have some clarity with this . The free spirits are like oh , it's good , whatever . Then you have your savers and your spenders . The savers have a tendency to save . The spenders are the ones that feel more free to spend money . My husband and I are an odd mix . He's the saver , but he's the free spirit . He's like oh , it doesn't matter , just save as little as possible . I'm sorry , save as much as possible and it'll all work out in the end . And I'm like no , I have to have this on paper . That way I have permission to spend money where we need to .

Samantha Bain

So we're kind of an odd dynamic there . That's not the typical . Typically the nerds are going to be the savers , but we're a little flipped .

Allison

That's OK , at least you really . It sounds like you still balance one another out because you're not both exactly the same , which I imagine could cause that could create some problems . Yes , yeah , if you were both like spenders and free thinkers or whatever , whatever it's called , that could be a problem . Well , that's cool , all right . So let's move on to influences . Who , or what would you say , has had the most influence on your homemaking ?

Samantha Bain

My mom definitely had the most impact , and or just my parents in general and the biblical values that they instilled in us . My mom stayed home with us from the time I was born I'm the oldest child out of five , actually and she chose to homeschool us . So I was homeschooled kindergarten all through 12th grade and I was able to grow up comparing our childhood with others and I could see how stable our home environment was and even the chaotic seasons didn't feel chaotic . We were doing things as a family . That's one reason we chose 4-H , because we could generally participate in that as a family . So you can have high schoolers competing at the same time as middle schoolers or elementary schoolers . So we were generally doing all the same activities together , just competing at different age levels within the same day for the most part . So we were as divided as other families going to separate activities , and we see the bonds that we have from that and I really wanted that for my kids .

Allison

Yeah , yeah , that's so great . I didn't realize that you were also homeschooled , so , and you were doing 4-H throughout that , so that's really cool , yes , that you had access to that . Is that something that you would recommend other people do , and is that something that you're going to look at doing with your boys now that you're starting the homeschooling journey ?

Samantha Bain

Yes , I'm looking forward to possibly doing it with our boys . The landscape of 4-H is changing a lot , so we'll have to see what it looks like , especially being in a different state . Now I haven't looked much into Virginia's 4-H program but especially being a homeschooled family , it gave us that socialization that outsiders are looking at you and hoping you're developing , and I don't think anybody ever questioned that in myself and my siblings because they saw that we were being raised around other kids and we were raised to be good communicators and leaders and that really paid off in college and our adult lives now .

Allison

Yeah , that's a great testimony . Well , let's

Homemaking Expectations

Allison

talk about expectations in homemaking . What are some things that surprised you about homemaking Things good or bad .

Samantha Bain

In regards to the bad , I was somewhat prepared for it because my mom and I talked about this a lot , but I was also surprised by how lonely it could be during those initial years when I stayed home . So I did go through a period of time after our marriage where I worked part-time and then came home when we had our son about a year after we got married . So I knew it was going to be lonely , but it was a bit more loneliness than I was expecting and it didn't help . The early years fell during COVID , so my son was born in summer of 2019 . And you have those baby days where you're just taking it easy at home and enjoying them . Well , by the time he was nine months old , like he's out of fun age . We're ready to get out and go to the zoo and go do all these fun activities . But COVID shut everything down , so it just changed the landscape of the world drastically .

Allison

Yeah , that would be gosh I can't even imagine . I know there's a lot . We have a lot of listeners who are in your same position . They've got young kids that they had COVID babies during COVID or right before . And you're right , you're absolutely right . It can be very lonely homemaking . That used to be something I actually was one of my original questions . I asked the seasoned ladies like how did you deal with loneliness ? And it definitely helps to get out and about , not so much that you're never home , because we do want to be home and enjoy our home environment and that brings some stability but the loneliness , it surprised me too . When I first was in this homemaking journey I was like I have these little people around me and I love them so much , but I feel like I'm losing my mind if I don't get out and talk to some other adults . So have you found some things in the last couple of years ? Since the world has kind of opened up a bit more after COVID ? What are some of the ways that you combat loneliness ?

Samantha Bain

Well , if you're in a stage where you don't have the opportunity to get out as much say it is the really early baby days , or hopefully we would never be in another pandemic , but in those pandemic days it was really helpful to find resources such as the art of home , where you're listening to other homemakers that are affirming the job that you're doing and reminding you of the value in that . That was extremely helpful . Since then , just staying plugged into church is really important . We also enjoy going to the library . We make a lot of friends at the library and that's actually a really , really good place to find homemakers . If you go to Storytimes , you're going to find other women that are home with their toddlers . If you're also planning on homeschooling , there's a lot of homeschoolers at the library too , so that's a fantastic place to make friends . Also , going to parks we enjoy getting out , but I also want us to enjoy being home as well . We're not just looking to get out for the sake of getting out . We really want it to bring value to us when we do .

Allison

Oh yeah , no , that's a great way to think about it and I'm all about going . We spent a lot of time at the library my kids were little and when we were homeschooling , that was . You're absolutely right . It's a great place to meet other preschool moms and then it's a great place to meet other homeschoolers and it's a great resource for homeschoolers . I've always said I feel like I could have homeschooled my kids at least through maybe sixth grade with just a library card and some internet access . There's just so many wonderful resources available through our libraries and I feel like we don't always take advantage of that . So I'm a big fan of the library . Ok , well , was there something good ? Because you said , as far as the bad , it was the loneliness that you didn't expect Anything that pleasantly surprised you about homemaking .

Samantha Bain

I loved that I wasn't missing all of my kids' milestones , and I feel like it's hard to talk about that , because it is a privilege to be able to stay home with your kids . Not everybody has the opportunity to do that , but that was something I really wanted to cherish . I just I loved that I was , you know , right there when they took their first steps , when they rolled over the first time , when they left for the first time , and that that's just so special to me that I'll I'll always be the one that got to see that first .

Allison

Yeah , yeah , yeah so what about some expectations that you had to let go of , anything that you thought , oh , this is , it's gonna be this way , but it ended up being something different and you've had to just let that go for the well-being of your family and yourself . I .

Samantha Bain

Would say it's the expectation that the work will ever be fully done , and something that actually helped a lot . It was a statement made on a previous episode of the show where it was mentioned that Stay at home families Like stay at home mom . They just have this expectation that , oh well , I'm home , so my house is going to be cleaner . Well , we're also Living in our homes , so they just get dirtier a little bit faster . So we're cooking three meals a day at home , we have little feet running across our floors all day long and we're not just walking out the door at 8 am , not coming back until 5 .

Samantha Bain

So that that gave me a lot of freedom . To hear that and that was that was really encouraging to me , and it also helped to come to a knowledge that work is a gift from God and that he expected men and women to work even before the fall in Eden . Obviously , after the fall we have a lot more to deal with with the thorns and the thistles , but there was good work to be done even in Eden . So just Having that reminder of I'm always going to be working and it needs to be with a joyful heart to the Lord .

Allison

Mm-hmm . Yeah , yeah , absolutely . The work is never done , but work is Work , is a gift . It can be good , the work is good , and just because it's hard doesn't mean that it's it's bad . There's a somebody , there's like a somebody I follow on Instagram . She's like really popular .

Samantha Bain

I can't remember her name Abby Haberstadt . Hard is not the same thing as bad . Yes , yes , yes , yeah . It means for mama . That's how I know her . It means for mama's are handled yeah .

Allison

Yeah , she just came out with that book that Hard is not the same thing as bad , and I love that saying . And actually last week's guest Said something very similar . Was it last week's guest ? No , it was the one that just came out . What day is today ? Today's Thursday .

Samantha Bain

It was yesterday . It was yesterday's episode . I haven't caught that one yet .

Allison

I'm a little behind Tiffany Harris she's . She tells a story about her , her son , that they adopted From China , and and he's blind and has some special needs , and so she was just , she's made a very similar statement and she's just saying just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not the right path that God has put you on . You know , the resistance doesn't necessarily mean you're on the wrong path . So and I think that we can think about our daily homemaking work in that same way that it's hard , but that doesn't necessarily mean we're doing the wrong thing or we're not in God's will or it's bad . It's just hard . And you're right , when you're there all day , especially with little boys , it's going to , it's just gonna get messier , um , yeah , especially homeschooling , yes , sure , okay , well , let's talk about those

Parenting & Priorities

Allison

boys a little bit , we'll move into parenting . And how do you think that the addition of your children has enriched your homemaking and how is it challenged your homemaking ? I ?

Samantha Bain

would say the biggest challenge is laying aside my projects to make time for them and be sure I'm connecting with them . I'm Definitely a busy homemaker . I like dabbling in all the things and sometimes I just have to realize , okay , bread is important , but my children are more important . Maybe I just need to buy store bread this week , yeah , and yeah , it's hard balancing that , because I do find fulfillment in Doing things for my family , but I don't think that's always what they're going to be Remembering as the most impactful on their life . It's going to be the connection that taking time to sit down and read with them , to love on them , to play with them .

Samantha Bain

So I would say that's the biggest challenge . It enriched my homemaking in that it gave me a more eternal focus , you know , when it's just me and my husband . Not that it's not important and we could bring people into our home and be doing work for the gospel , but On a daily basis now I have children that I'm working to raise to know and love God , and that is just . That's so humbling to think about and and yeah , it just gives me a lot of purpose and joy in my day .

Allison

Well said , that's awesome . So how do you encourage ? I know there's still really little , but how what kind of little things maybe are you doing to encourage your boys to enter into Homemaking with you and take some ownership in the home and help them to feel like they're a part of that ?

Samantha Bain

I'll get to chores in a minute because I think Lots of moms have questions about what our age appropriate Tours for their ages , yeah . But one thing I try to do is always dress myself and them for the day . Today is actually an exception . They both woke up feeling under the weather , so they're still in their jammies , but we're giving ourselves grace for the day . But you know how there's that stereotype of you know , when mommy goes somewhere , she puts jeans on and the kids start asking well , mommy , where are we going ? Like , wow , mommy's putting real pants on . We must be going someplace , really good . Well , it's kind of funny because I I Love a good house dress .

Samantha Bain

I wear dresses almost daily . That's just my way of pulling myself together . I know there's different degrees of doing that , but even though my son has seen me Doing that for most of his life , when we start getting dressed for the day he's like mommy , where are we going today ? And that's fine . I I try to Respect that he . He is the type of kid that wants to go out and do things , and we do make time to go to the library and make Some trips throughout the week . But even when we're just having a slow day at home . I want to teach my boys that we care about ourselves and pull ourselves together even when we're just at home , because we have good , valuable work to do at home and that's worth , you know , putting our best foot forward with our family for the day .

Allison

Yeah , absolutely , that's a . That's a great practice . I love that .

Samantha Bain

I'd say practically . My four-year-old helps make his bed . He also empties the bathroom trash cans for me . He will sort silverware when that comes out of the dishwasher . And he's also responsible for picking up his toys . And Then the 18-month-old he's at that stage where he wants to help . So we just try to invite him into that and encourage a Appreciation for work in him .

Samantha Bain

While you know , our four-year-old is in a whiny stage right now . He's like I want to do this , but the 18-month-old is like oh , this is so fun , it's a game to him . So we're trying to Foster that at a young age so he learns to pick up his toys as he's able and he'll put his blocks in the box and we'll clap Yay , you did such a good job , thank you for helping . And If he spills a water cup or something , he knows where the rags are . We'll ask him go get a rag and he'll wipe it up and he knows where the dirty rags go . I have a little bucket under the sink . So those are ways that they Can contribute to our household and learn to work .

Allison

Yeah , great , that's great . Really practical suggestions , thanks . So let's talk about priorities a little bit . What are some practical steps that you take to set and keep your priorities ? So how do you prioritize and make time for the Lord and your marriage and keeping it all in the right order ?

Samantha Bain

I Would say there are three key rhythms To our days in our week that we try to follow as closely as possible within our household . So the first is a household quiet or nap time in the afternoons . My four-year-old rarely naps anymore . He is just at the age or he's busy , he has things to do , but sometimes he does need a nap . My mom always practices and I picked this up from her . Really , all of these things I'm going to describe I picked up from my parents for the most part , but we stop what we're doing after lunchtime .

Samantha Bain

The baby goes down for a nap and the toddler has a choice of Something to do or he can rest . Sometimes they'll even start out playing and then he will decide on his own that he needs a rest and he'll lay down in his bed and nap . But he knows he needs to stay in his room , be quiet . Um , there's a lot of training opportunities because he will often come out . You're like mommy , I need a snack , mommy , what are you doing ? And um , yeah , there's definitely training opportunities during that time . But what that does is it gives me a good , solid two hours or so that I can get my bible and prayer time in . I think there's this whole Culture that's kind of developed from instagram , where , oh , you have to do your bible time in the morning and it has to be with coffee and with a multi-pack of highlighter pins and a candle , don't forget the candle , yes , in the candle , the god doesn't really care , you just need to be getting it in .

Samantha Bain

And I found it was kind of unrealistic for me to Get up in the morning early before my kids because it it didn't matter . I would wake up Two hours before normal and my kid would still be up enjoying me . And some moms say , oh well , that you just take the time for them to see you studying your bible , and that's definitely important . Um , but I was always bleary eyed and Felt like I wasn't taking in my bible reading quite as well when it was early in the mornings . So afternoon works really , really well for me . Um , it does take a little bit of discipline because you have to stop what you're doing To make sure you're doing . It takes some discipline , um , but after that it gives me time to rest if I need to rest . It gives me time to exercise if that's what I decide to do . It gives me time to work on a project if that's what I need .

Samantha Bain

And I I know , not every kid is A good napper . So this is this might be hard for some moms to hear because they say , well , my kid's just not a good napper , but it For sure , the household quiet time . That's something that could be trained and it's it's a good , it's a big gift to me in my day . Um , so I would say that's the first priority . The second is getting in a weekly date night . Now , there's also this Culture that's arisen from , I suppose it's you have christian culture , christian marriage culture , where they say , oh , you have to get in a date night every single week in order to have a healthy marriage . And , to be honest , there's a lot of families that see that and they say , well , we don't have the family support , we don't have a babysitter , we don't have the finances to pay for a babysitter . If we don't have that family support , we don't have the finances to go by dinner , we don't have the finances to go do an activity . So I've actually recently seen some pushback to that Marital dating culture .

Samantha Bain

I guess you could say and I just want to remind women that it doesn't have to be that way my husband and I have taken the time each week . We typically pick , let's say , friday night , and we put the kids to bed early . If they're not settling down , we'll give them like an activity to do in their rooms and that's just a time for us to reconnect . Usually we have some kind of special meal . You can do an activity together , play a game . We like watching shows or movies together , but it's just so vital to us to have that time to be sure we're reconnecting .

Samantha Bain

You know , if there's a busy week , I will say during those grad school years , that was probably a marriage saver for us because he could have kept working . If you know , he had enough to do so for us to say , hey , this is important to us . We're going to take the time for this , but had a tremendous impact . And that's another thing I got from my parents . They did this the entire time I was growing up . They've been married over 30 years . They still prefer the home , date , night over , going out . They've had a teen or young adult in the house for probably the past 10 years that is capable of babysitting the younger kids and they still prefer just the quiet , peaceful atmosphere at home . They're not distracted by TV screens or people talking at a restaurant . My husband , I go to a restaurant . Now we end up people watching more than anything , so they've come to enjoy that more .

Samantha Bain

The other key rhythm to our day is family Bible time , making sure we're getting scripture into our children , the temptation for homemakers , I believe , if you have your children at home with you , if you're homeschooling , sometimes it feels like you're doing enough just to pull them out of the world . But you also have to remember that you need to be instilling God's word on their hearts , and I view it like a greenhouse . You're sheltering . It's a good sheltering , though . It's giving them that optimal environment to grow . You're fertilizing , putting the good things in so they can grow up to be strong plants that can be sustained on their own during those later years of life . So we have about two times during the day that we try to get Bible in . I start our homeschool day with Bible and do a little lesson with our boys , and then we shoot for Bible time in the evenings . When my husband comes home After dinner , we'll sit down and do some scripture memory . If you're looking for a resource for little kids , there's a book called Favorite Action Verses .

Allison

Maybe it's Favorite .

Samantha Bain

Action Bible Verses , but Favorite Action Verses and it's very simple Bible passages with little signs , hand motions that go along with that . And it's really good if you have children that aren't talking yet . Our four-year-old was a late talker . Our 18-month-old seems to be kind of following that same pattern as well , so that was a great way to get them involved in learning scripture when they couldn't recite it back to us . It really helps them cement the verses in their mind . We'll do Bible verses at that time . We also try to teach character .

Samantha Bain

During that time we're working through Clay and Sally Clarkson's book Our 24 Family Ways , and it's principles from scripture but put into 24 simple statements , that kind of guidelines for your family to follow , and it makes it really helpful during moments of training throughout the day . If one of them is unkind to their brother , we'll have to ask him well , did you love your brother ? Were you treating him with kindness , gentleness and respect ? And he'll say no , I wasn't , and it's a good reminder to them . It just really simplifies those training moments . We also try to get in some kind of Bible reading or Bible lesson from a kid's Bible storybook that breaks it down to their level . We also enjoy singing songs as a family . So I really want to be proactive in teaching them about God that way they feel like they can come to us with the really hard faith questions when they're older . I want them to see us as a safe place to come to you to talk about God when they have those hard questions .

Allison

Yeah , and I think that's a really good perspective to have and that you're being proactive . And be proactive to , I would just say , be really clear about , as they get older , letting them know that no question is off limits , because otherwise the enemy just encourages them to keep that hidden , because they think that you're going to freak out If you ask , if they're wrestling with a particular issue or question or something . Make it really clear to them from the beginning that no question is off limits they can bring any of their questions or concerns to you and that it doesn't surprise God and it doesn't throw him off . So those are great rhythms and practices . I love that . Do you have any particular homemaking rhythms as far as how you do your homemaking tasks and your schedule , how you schedule your days for that sort of thing ? Are you a meal planner ? Are you a ? I do the bathrooms on Monday and this on that or that kind of thing .

Samantha Bain

I used to have a really good rhythm down in our old house . I feel like when we moved that just shifted everything .

Allison

Oh , sure , yeah .

Samantha Bain

And now we're adding homeschool back into our rhythm . This is the first year that it's a little bit more structured . So I'm still calling it preschool . He's not enrolled with the state yet , but we're doing K four , so it's kind of that borderline kindergarten preschool . It takes just a little bit longer . We're trying to be very disciplined about getting it in during the weekdays . So I feel like I need to restructure a little bit . So there's just always an ebb and flow and it's okay . Things have to change up from time to time , so your rhythm now isn't going to be your rhythm forever . I am definitely a meal planner . I've got a pretty good system . Right now we have to drive a little bit further . We're in a more rural location than we were previously , so I try to do my grocery shopping every other week and we'll make a big trip go to Costco , go to Aldi , get our groceries and I try to make sure that we have enough in stock to get us through that time . That's good .

Allison

Well , yeah , you would be more rural if you're looking at doing homesteading yes , yeah , in that part of the country . Well , cool

Managing Media

Allison

, okay . So how about social media ? How do you maintain a healthy relationship with media in general , and what are your thoughts about how much you expose your kids to that and plan to expose them in the future ?

Samantha Bain

So I definitely saw a few years ago that I was fighting addiction with social media on my phone . Especially being at home , it felt like the window to the outside world and you're connecting with people . And I think that's a real struggle for women is we have a need for community and connection , but we're artificially feeding that need Through social media and it doesn't satisfy like a real life friendship will . So that's something we all have to fight . I believe I have found to cut back that it's really helpful to just stay off the apps and when I do log in , it's on the web browser . I find generally that I get fewer ads on Instagram . I get way less reels because , let me tell you , I really noticed it when reels came out because it's so easy to get sucked in . It's just 30 seconds move on , 30 seconds move on , and you're just constantly scrolling and it doesn't stop and yeah , so doing the web browser . It's not made for that type of content as well , so they don't push it quite as much . I'll be honest , I've cut back on that significantly , but I could still reduce my YouTube dependence , my audio book dependence , my podcast dependence . I tend to listen to those types of things while I'm working and that's another area where it can keep me from connecting with my kids and have my earbuds and while I'm cooking dinner and I'm like be quiet , I'm trying to listen it . Just that's not helpful for them .

Samantha Bain

I do find that I get more value from you know , homemakers on YouTube , listening to podcasts , for sure , listening to audio books . I do find them more helpful than just scrolling on Instagram or Facebook . It's more valuable , but that is something I could . If I was being totally honest , I could cut back on that a good bit . As far as kids , we probably just won't allow social media in our house , but still a little bit ahead of us . So we're you know , we'll just see how the landscape changes . We do allow some media in our house , like they're allowed to watch shows every now and then , but we actually tend to choose shows that my husband and I watched growing up from the 90s . So on YouTube , we like watching Richard's , gary's , busy Town , little Bear shows like that . We find that they're not as fast paced . Yeah , and it's got that slower storytelling .

Allison

Yes , yes , more calming rather than like hyping them all up with excessive visual stimuli . Yes , it's not a stimulating .

Samantha Bain

So we will occasionally let them watch shows such as that . They've watched a few new shows here and there , but also when I give them a screen , it's usually because I have some reason to need to keep them entertained . So I don't want to have to be filtering either , because you never know what's going to pop up in a new kid's show these days . So I just give them things that I know are family trusts and we consider to be safe . We have a tablet , but we do save that for trips or occasions such as going to the doctor , when they're going to be sitting for a while , and it really helps their attention span during those times because it's fresh and it just makes a big difference .

Samantha Bain

We've also noticed that we tend to have more whining and complaining in our house when it's a little bit more of a free for all . So we might have a sick week where they're loading up on more time on the tablet , but then it's really hard to detox from that . So it usually is easier just to not offer it at all and have books out available for them . And imagine it with toys . Yes , yes .

Allison

More reading . More reading , definitely , but it would have been really nice to have that . I see the moms in the doctor's office with a little tablet , or sometimes in the grocery store and I'm like man , that would have been really nice to have that when my kids were little to be used in moderation

Temptations & Challenges

Allison

, like you said , okay .

Allison

Well , let's move on and talk about temptations and challenges . So which of these temptations have you struggled with the most and what has got teaching you through it ? So A comparison to other women B just a homemaker , I'm just a homemaker . I'm not getting paid for this job . It's not a real job . Or C superwoman trying to do all the things .

Samantha Bain

I've honestly felt all of those at one time or another . Yeah , I would say currently it depends on the day . Sometimes it's comparison to other women homemakers , sometimes it's superwoman , but I have felt the just a homemaker twinge sometimes . I think for all of those working on contentment is key and I'd actually like to share a piece really quickly .

Samantha Bain

This is from an essay by GK Chesterton . It's called the Emancipation of Domesticity and I don't agree with Chesterton on everything , but I love his essays on homemaking . I find them so valuable and so encouraging . In fact , this quote I'm about to read . I heard it on another podcast . I was driving someplace to visit a friend and it was one of those Moments . It was so impactful and I was so focused on listening to this quote I totally missed my turn , totally reroute , because it was just wow . I've never heard anything like that before .

Samantha Bain

This is so encouraging , okay , but in this essay he talks about how men , their spit , their careers , are typically very specialized . So , for example , my husband is an aerospace engineer and he's very specialized within that and that is Really important for what he does . But women that are at home with their families we're so broad in what we do and he really talks about the gift of a woman's broadness and her capabilities , and he talks about how women can get so bogged down and being specialized like their male counterparts , like , oh well , I'm the best sourdough baker , I'm a competitive seamstress and all of these different things . And he said that you don't have to be that way . It's okay to be just , you know , even mediocre in those things , just as long as you're serving your family . So he also talks about drudgery and how the word has changed over time . But here's a quote that he says . I'm gonna back it up to give it a little bit of context .

Samantha Bain

He says to be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area , deciding sales , banquets , labors and holidays . To be , rightly , within a certain area , providing toys , boots , sheets , cakes and books . To be Aristotle within a certain area , teaching morals , manners , theology and hygiene . I can understand how this might exhaust the mind , but I cannot imagine how it can narrow it . How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the rule of three and A small career to tell one's own children about the universe ? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone ? No , a woman's function is laborious , but because it is gigantic , not because it is minute , I will pity mrs Jones for the hugeness of her task . I will never pity her for its smallness . That played such a big role in Me not feeling like just a homemaker anymore and , honestly , the whole essay . If you read the essay in its entirety , I think it's going to encourage anyone going through any of those struggles . Yeah , all three of those are really touched on within that essay .

Allison

Yeah , yeah , that's a really I love that quote . I've heard parts of that before and thank you for sharing that and maybe you can , I can Get the essay from you , like a link to it , and I can put it in the newsletter that's gonna follow your episode . It'll be in the show notes for your episode on that newsletter so we can let everybody read it . That's awesome , thank you . Well , how about Special challenges ? So these are , these are kind of challenge that you know , the comparison and the just a homemaker and the superwoman . We kind of all face that at different times in our lives , but sometimes we have special challenges that are unique to you and your family . So is there anything that you've faced in your home making journey and that's been a particular challenge for you guys , and how have you grown through that and how has God Led you to deeper intimacy with him through that challenge ?

Samantha Bain

I would say , the financial challenges we had during that time and when my husband was in grad school . So I do have a college degree . Thankfully , my parents encouraged me to Go to college so I would have those skills and I would also have . You know , honestly , sometimes you need a degree to get a job these days . They wanted me to be prepared in case I needed to provide for myself and also contribute to the household income , but also to they wanted us to choose something that would be beneficial to homemaking as well . So I have a degree in agricultural communications and that's kind of why I'm interested in homesteading and the like . I I intended to work straight out of college .

Samantha Bain

We were married just weeks after college graduation . Both of us graduated with our undergrad at the same time . I Ended up accepting a job to work with my agriculture school as a recruiter . The week I went to sign papers . This is about five months after our marriage .

Samantha Bain

I I find out that I'm expecting our son and it was always important to my husband and I that I stay home with our children and they came just a little bit sooner than we expected . We were so excited and it was such a blessing from God , but that did come with a little bit of a challenge , because Now we don't have this little chunk of income that we were kind of hoping for . Some things that helped is that we never set out to live on my income , so that was just extra that we were going to use to pay off some of his undergraduate student loans . He was working two jobs . He was paid to go to graduate school , so his education was totally provided for and he was a graduate research assistant . He was also a minister at a small rural congregation and they paid Part of our income as well . So he was extremely busy working to provide for our family in order for me to be able to stay at home with our kids and it would have been really easy to say , oh , it's no big deal , like I can send them to daycare and I can , you know , go Pursue a career . But it was really important to us that I be there for those foundational years when they were young and it . It was a big challenge , but I don't regret it one bit . I love every single minute that I've had with them . I just I want to encourage other women if you're at a point where you feel like you need to come home full-time . There are ways to make it work .

Samantha Bain

I'm not going to say it's easy . There's a lot of things we have to sacrifice . We don't get to take vacations like a lot of other families . We have to be really thrifty and , you know , really watch where every dollar is going . Even with this Income boost that we've had this year since he completed graduate school and started a new job , even now we're still Watching every penny and managing that well , we want to be good stewards , but there are ways that I have been able to Contribute to our household , not by bringing in money , but by saving .

Samantha Bain

I Almost I felt like this income boost was going to be . I Thought we were gonna feel it a lot more than we did , so I was honestly a little sad before he graduated , like , wow , I'm never gonna be this creative ever again , because I'm not going to have to be . Well , I'm still having to be creative . We have some more freedom here now , but I Just I love all the skills I've gained during that time . So I learned how to start cooking whole chickens , like it was so funny . Even though that was , even though I was an agriculture student in college I had never check . I had never held a whole chicken carcass in my hands before . I'm like , what do I do with this ? But I started roasting whole chickens and making bone broth . I started making bread from scratch . We started cloth diapering . Much to my husband's chagrin , he's still not sure about that one . But it does save .

Samantha Bain

I Love going to the thrift store and finding a deal , and I'm one of those people . I am not ashamed to tell you that I got something out of thrift store oh that's so cute . I'm like thanks goodwill for like three bucks . I don't , I don't mind sharing that . Um , yeah , I just yeah . There have been some fun blessings that have come from those challenges challenge .

Allison

No , that's really . That's so good that that shows growth , that you recognize that . And I love what you said about the fact that you recognize that you could contribute . Even though you weren't working and bringing in that paycheck that you were hoping for , you could still contribute to the family , not by what you're bringing in , but by managing what's going out . You know , by learning how to save , learning how to be thrifty , learning how to mend your own clothes , you know , just and it it might not seem like a big deal to , you know , save a little bit to not have to have the , the tailor him , your pants or whatever . But every little bit counts and it's . It's not only helping with the family budget but , like you said , you're learning a skill and you're Growing your skill set and that's going to serve you for the rest of your life , so that's really great .

Samantha Bain

And I do think it's helpful To Realize in the early years that you might not have the capacity to sit down and take on a Side hustle . I actually tried a side hustle . I tried starting a photography business in 2020 and it was really fun . I really enjoyed working with families doing portrait photography , but I Realized it was starting to take away from my family a little bit and it just wasn't worth the money I was bringing in . But at the same time I had extra time on my hands because in the little years you know there's a lot of work that goes into entertaining them , but you can also sit on the couch and you know , restuff your cloth , diapers or whatever , and during those pockets of time that you have . So you might not have Four hours to block out to do a desk job at home , but you might have pockets here and there to you know Need bread or do something that's going to benefit your family .

Allison

Yeah , absolutely

Hospitality

Allison

Very good . Let's talk about hospitality . Okay , so what is a practical way that you show hospitality in your home making Both to your immediate little family and then to other people outside of that , sure ?

Samantha Bain

When we came back from COVID and Could start hosting people in our home again , I Felt a really strong pull to be perfectionistic . I'm always that way and I love the fun elements of hospitality , I love all the finishing touches , I love going the extra mile . But I Felt like when we kind of been out of the loop of normal Hospitality and just welcoming people in at a moment's notice , I Really felt some of those perfectionistic tendencies coming into the point of like freezing when it was time to invite somebody over , like oh , it's my house clean ? Do I have a meal that they're going to enjoy ? Just thoughts like that .

Samantha Bain

So to actually get past this , I can't believe I'm gonna admit this , but I Found that it was helpful to Just look at my pantry , even when I had time . I knew Sunday was coming up , I had time to plan , but it was helpful to just look at my pantry and say what do I have right now that I could serve somebody ? And Also we kind of take a step back like you know what . I might have time to clean my floors , but I also think it might be a good practice for me to not clean my floors because they're honestly fine and I need to be okay with people seeing a little bit of dirt , because then , doing that intentionally , it gave me the space to feel like I could invite people and were spur of the moment and and I , yeah , I just feel like that can be a really helpful exercise if you're somebody that struggles with Perfectionism and feeling like things need to be perfect , maybe taking a step back and kind of practicing the imperfection a little bit on purpose . That that helps me a lot .

Allison

Yeah , for sure that's . That's a good idea . So how do you think that homemaking helps to build community ? Because you know , like you were saying , coming out of coming out of COVID , where we were kind of like zero community , and Then fighting the temptation to be perfectionist , perfectionist about it and not bringing people in , what are some ways that that you've experienced growing community Through opening your home to other people ?

Samantha Bain

It gives Practicing hospitality to my family , gives our family a place to rest and recharge so that we can go out into the world and love others , because we're . There's just so much darkness out in the world these days and so many discouraging situations that we need a place to rest that feels like a haven in order for us to even begin to go out . And I do believe there are sometimes where you just have to focus on your family . After having a new baby , that's not the time to bring all the people into your home and you do need to think of your family's needs first in some regards and during some seasons . But we also have to create margin so that the overflow pours out to the refreshment of others . That way , we have time to bring people in and to love them and , you know , be a Light yeah , absolutely .

Allison

I love the way you put that . Yet creating that margin Is so that the overflow can pour out onto other people . That's really good . How are you doing in your new community ? I mean , you just had this big move like recently , right ? Yes , like just just the last few months . So how , how is that going ? Are you sort of starting to feel at home , and have you been able to find some community to surround yourselves with yet ?

Samantha Bain

Yes , we are definitely settling in . I would say the hardest moments came , as far as feeling homesickness , when we were still trying to find a church and we did plug into a church really quickly and that was really beneficial to our family . But we had some , some situations . We we seem to be going through this constant cycle of sickness in our house . I don't know if it's acclimating to new germs up here or what , but we've had a few Sundays where I had to stay home with the kids or our whole family had to stay home because Somebody was ill and we didn't want to spread things and it was during those moments that I noticed I was the most vulnerable to feeling down about the situation and feeling homesick . So being with brethren has been so helpful .

Samantha Bain

Our situation is a little bit different because we actually drive About an hour and about an hour 15 , 20 minutes to our church , so it's a little bit further than we would prefer . So hospitality looks a little bit different there . I have to be really intentional about thinking of others and bringing them things and maybe contributing to food , and we have a gathering at somebody else's house because you know work on a farm for people to come out to you know , see us . But definitely being open to people coming down and visiting our family where we are Going to the library has been really helpful . I've met moms within our neighborhood , moms with similar interests . I bonded with some moms over sourdough at the library a few weeks ago so that was fun . But just being really intentional about establishing relationship is really important .

Allison

Yeah , that's great ,

Homemaking Q &A

Allison

very good . Okay , we're going to do some rapid-fire questions . I want to make sure we get to everything here , so we're running low on time , but you've heard these before , so you know the deal . You can do me a quick answer or you can tell me a story if you would like . What is your biggest home-making fail so far ?

Samantha Bain

What I was learning to make sourdough . I was getting all the tips I could from the internet and it is pretty common to hear people say if it's cold in your house in the wintertime and you need your bread to rise , you can put it in the oven , with the oven light on , and that will give it just enough heat . To proof , the key is you have to remember not to preheat your oven for the next morning's breakfast while the dough is still in there .

Samantha Bain

I had baked a few balls of dough in their stainless steel bowl . The worst time , I had accidentally preheated the oven with a plastic lid loosely over the bowl , so the plastic was melting all over the place and I'm just crunchy enough where I was like oh no , our family is breathing in all these melted plastic things . This has to be terrible for us . That was pretty bad . Here at this house I have a little side porch and I have a potting shelf that we hadn't really found a purpose for yet and I was looking at it and I thought , oh , that would be a great place to let my bread proof . I put it outside . What I didn't realize is that we have a lot more squirrels in our current neighborhood than our last one , so I had to throw out a few dough balls because the squirrels got their rabid little feet in it Squirrel food .

Samantha Bain

Squirrel food Now I know not to put that out there .

Allison

That's good . Okay , how about a recent homemaking win ?

Samantha Bain

This isn't as recent , but I would say my biggest homemaking win is making my own wedding dress and contributing a good bit to my sister-in-laws .

Allison

What you made , your own dress Okay yet you have to tell us about this .

Samantha Bain

I had really specific modesty standards in mind for my dress and I knew , going to look at dresses off the rack it was going to be hard to find what I wanted and I had heard some horror stories about the alteration process of trying to make an off-the-dress rack fit some of these modesty standards . So I decided it was just going to be easier to sew my dress . I had sewn a few formal gowns as part of my Clothing and Textiles project that I had done in 4-H , so a formal gown was in a new process to me . My mom and I had two different patterns . We had a bodice piece and we had a skirt piece that we put together to make my dress and I had to hand piece the lace on the bodice . My sister was so kind we didn't have a dress mannequin or a dress form so she stood there wearing my dress while I pinned these bits of lace exactly where I wanted them on the bodice , and she got poked so many times .

Samantha Bain

We even had to rinse blood out of the dress at one point . There were like little pin marks of blood and she was like that was one of the worst things you've made me do .

Allison

Oh , what a great accomplishment . That's awesome . Ok , how about a Homemaking Product or Resource that you're loving right now ?

Samantha Bain

I love the Hopes Table Cookbook . It's by Hope Helmuth . A lot of homemakers on Instagram were talking about this book . I bought it for a friend for her birthday and she said this is the best cookbook . It is so helpful so I ended up getting a copy for myself and it has become my go-to gift for weddings . Just about everybody in my family has gotten a copy for Christmas at some point or another . It is just good basic recipes . I don't know if I mentioned it's a Mennonite Cookbook , but I wouldn't say it's necessarily traditional Mennonite cooking . There's some of that in there , but it's just good basic family meals . It's really hard to serve a meal from there and have people not like it . It gives my go-to . If I'm hosting people it's a go-to for my family . Just good pantry staples that you have is really all she requires .

Allison

Right , that sounds like a really great resource . Ok , thank you . So how about a favorite Homemaking Hack or Tip ?

Samantha Bain

I like to keep a file folder in my kitchen for the mail that comes in . So if we get an insurance statement mail that just tends to pile up on the counter , well , I tried to have a system where I would have a basket and then I would deal with that and sort it out later . But I found that the basket was just piling up with all of these papers . So I finally got the idea just to put it in my pantry and write . When it comes in the door I can file it away . It's really convenient , and then I don't have to put it on the counter and then think about taking it to the office later . It just keeps the clutter way down .

Allison

Yeah , that's a great idea , Great suggestion . Ok , how about your signature dish ? Do you have one yet ?

Samantha Bain

Kind of so . Usually for a family gathering , I'm the bread girl . If we're having Italian , I'll bring breadsticks . If we're having chicken salad sandwiches , I might bring some sandwich bread . Just since I've been doing sourdough , people generally know they can ask me to bring bread Cool . Last year our county fair had a pie baking competition and I decided to compete in the peach pie category . But I gave it a twist by throwing raspberries in there and I did a crumb topping with white chocolate on top .

Samantha Bain

So , that was kind of my own twist . I did end up winning that contest , so that was fun , that's awesome . That was probably my most recent big home-making win , but that was really fun and that's kind of become something . It's one of my own recipes . Like I don't tend to develop recipes , I tend to use other people's work with them .

Allison

Yeah Well , you probably will develop more and more over time , Sure , the more you're cooking . I want to talk just a little

The Art of Home & Titus 2 Advice

Allison

bit about the art of home , and then we're going to talk to some of the younger women and the older women . How do you see home-making as an art and how do you find beauty in the art of home ?

Samantha Bain

I'm going to go back to talking about Chester Tinn again . He has another essay called the Wildness of Domesticity and I just think that's such a fun phrase and he talks about how , within your home , you can make it whatever you want . It gets the one place where you can really truly be you and there's not as many social conventions surrounding that . I do think lately with Instagram , it's kind of sad because we're losing that a little bit . Everything tends to be kind of cookie cutter gray cream neutral and my house is fairly neutral , but I think we lose a lot of the personal touches these days because of what we feel like we need to do . But I just love that in homemaking there's so much diversity between the women and the skills that we share . Listening to this podcast has been really encouraging to help me see that . I love that there's almost a science to homemaking as well and developing the rhythms and routines . But each of us can bring our own creative and beautiful touches to that and that's what makes it an art form . Yeah , oh , that's great .

Allison

Yes , I love that . What's something in homemaking ? Just one thing off the top of your head that you're thankful for .

Samantha Bain

I'm thankful that , while there's a lot of work to do , I have the ability to structure my days according to our family values and even my own creative wins Just that adaptability that we have . Today was a sick day for my boys . They woke up feeling under the weather and they both bounce back pretty quickly . But I restructured our homeschool day . Okay , we're not going to do the workbooks , we're just going to do read alouds . We're going to keep it really simple . Today , you guys can stay in your PJs . We could adjust to that . My husband is the financial provider for our family , but I am providing in a different way and my provision can look so much more creative than his . I can choose what we're going to eat for dinner based off of what I want to eat for dinner or what the kids want to eat for dinner . We can be really flexible in that my husband has input on how we run our household , but for the most part , I get to be my own boss and I really like that .

Allison

It is something to look at with gratitude , because it can become overwhelming being your own boss and not having to be accountable to anyone , necessarily for your time . We've talked about this on the show before . We have this big chunk of time every day and it's up to us . We get to say how that time is going to be managed , which for some people that can be really overwhelming . It's good to look at it from the perspective of being grateful for the flexibility and the freedom that we have and , like you said , adaptability , for if you wake up with sick kids , you can shift things around and it's not a big deal . That's really good . I love that . Let's talk a little bit to the older women and the younger women . You're right in the middle . What would you say to the older women listening ? What would you tell them ? What would you wish they knew about your experience as a homemaker in your stage and your age ? Help them understand what it's like for you and particularly how they can come in and help encourage you in your walk .

Samantha Bain

I've noticed this phenomenon in the church over the past few years , probably my entire life . There's almost an attitude now with some older women not all , but some there's almost an attitude of retirement and feeling like they did their duty teaching kids Bible classes . They did their duty teaching women's Bible studies and they feel like it's their time to just sit back . I would really remind them that we need them to be tight as two women and to step into that role because , yes , I might have more energy to teach a women's Bible study , but I also don't have all of the knowledge that they have . Some women , even at that point they say , oh well , I don't know enough to teach . Well , even if you've been a Christian for only a few years , you have all of this life experience that , even if you had that outside of the Lord , you can show us how living in the Lord is so much better and how that has benefited you in the past few years . I think everyone has something to bring to the table and we really need that from the older women . One really good example is that there was an older woman in our congregation when I was a teen that knew her time was coming , where she was not going to be physically able to teach children's classes anymore . She was very intentional to take some of us teenagers , younger women , under her wing to show us how she taught the children .

Samantha Bain

She was known for her method of teaching the children's classes . She was really good about filling the time with the lesson and not relying on some of the fluffy stuff like coloring sheets and whatnot . There was some of that in there , but it was so good the way she taught . She brought us on board to show us how she did that . Some of the moms that have been teaching for decades . They still came in just to learn from her because they felt like there was so much she had . She's at a point now where she has decided I physically cannot do this anymore . She took the steps needed to leave a legacy and be sure that there were other women behind her to take that place . I think we missed that a lot of times .

Allison

That's a great example . What about the younger women ? What would you say to those women coming behind you ? Some advice , maybe , mistakes to avoid , or what would you tell them to encourage them ?

Samantha Bain

I'm actually pretty young for being in the stage of life . I got married at 20 , had kids pretty quickly , so I'm only 25 . If we're talking physical age here , a lot of these women are still single . I can have two pieces of advice One to the single ladies , one to the current homemakers If you're still single but you want to stay at home with your children one day , you want to be a homemaker During those dating years , don't shy away from the hard questions .

Samantha Bain

Whoever is going to be the provider for your family needs to also desire for you to stay at home . He needs to see the value in that and take the steps to be able to be the sole provider . There's so many jobs that men can do that are valuable work , but we have to be honest in our current economy that not every job is able to support a family on a single income . This is actually coming from my husband as well . He and I both talked about these questions . As a provider , he says 100% . This is what he would tell young men when you're choosing a career , you need to be considerate of what you're going to be able to provide for your family . Yeah , yeah , I agree . It's kind of taboo to talk about stuff like that these days , but if this is what you want to do , we have to have these conversations .

Allison

Yeah for sure . That's something that my husband told our boys from the time they were high school age , starting to think about college and where their career was going to go . He said the same thing . He said if you want to have a family and be able to support them , you need to think about that when you're making your choices about what you're going to do . That's really good , sure .

Samantha Bain

To the homemakers I would say if you feel bored at home , maybe ask yourself why . I've noticed that when I tend to feel bored at home , it's usually due to a lack of a challenge . This is a good time to be honest about areas of homemaking that you need to improve or find a new skill that you'd be excited to learn to bring value to your home . Of course , we don't want to load this up to the detriment of our families , where we're too busy sewing to connect with our kids . It can be helpful if you find yourself sitting around scrolling social media during the day . Maybe find a skill that will fill that time instead .

Allison

Yeah , definitely . That's wonderful advice , Really really good . Well , this has been super fun , Samantha . I hope that you have enjoyed it . I certainly have getting to know you and hearing all your answers For 25 , you have a lot of wisdom , so thank you . I appreciate that . I know our audience is going to be blessed to hear your story . Thank you so much for being on the show .

Samantha Bain

Thank you for the work you do for homemakers .

Allison

You're welcome . Thank you so much for listening to this homemaker portrait of Samantha Bain . I hope that you have found some inspiration and some practical ideas . I feel like Samantha was full of practical ideas and suggestions , but she was also full of a lot of really sound godly wisdom for such a young person , and this is why I love talking to women of all ages , because we can all learn something from the people that we're around , no matter what their age is or their stage of life or their walk with the Lord .

Allison

One of my favorite things that Samantha said was that if you are at a point where you feel like you need to come home full time , just know that there are ways to make it work . It's not necessarily going to be easy and you will have to sacrifice some things , but she pointed out that she realized there are ways that she can contribute to the household , not by bringing in money , but by saving , by managing how and what is going out , the money that's going out , and learning how to manage that . Well , she talked about things like roasting whole chickens and making bone broth and making bread from scratch , cloth diapering , thrifting all of those things . You're not only contributing to the family income by saving money , but you're also learning really valuable skills , skills that are going to serve you well for your entire home making career , skills that you can pass on to your children and it will serve them well for the rest of their lives . So it is well worth the investment and the sacrifice to find creative ways to make a one income household work for you and your family , if that's what you feel like God is calling you to . I just want to encourage you . Along with Samantha , it is possible . So my husband and I did it when we had barely two pennies to rub together and we lived in a one bedroom 500 square foot 1978 trailer . God was faithful . We made it work , we did without a lot and we ate a lot of ground turkey , but God was faithful .

Allison

If you have found value in today's episode , you can say thanks and support the show in a couple of different ways . First of all , the most important thing you can do is share this episode , or any of our episodes , with a homemaker that you know who could use some encouragement and some practical ideas and some help in her home making , and then , second , you can leave us a rating and a review on your listening app of choice . And then finally , if you feel so moved , you can give us a tip and our virtual tip jar by Mia Coffee Just go to buy me a coffeecom . Slash the art of home . If you need a little bit more instruction on how to do any of those three things , you can also go to our support page on the website the art of home podcastcom slash support .

Allison

Don't forget to sign up for the newsletter homemaker happy mail . That's going to go out first thing Friday morning and that will have any of the show notes , the links , all of the great ideas and suggestions that Samantha shared . That's going to be in that newsletter . So if you want to get your hands on those things , make sure you're subscribed . Well , that's it for this week's episode . I will be back next week , same place , same time , with a brand new homemaker portrait . Until then , keep practicing your art of making a home .